After dinner they loaded the dishwasher and House suggested they take a leisurely trek up the coast. Safely in the driver's seat he would be able to avoid eye contact, and he kept both hands on the wheel so that she couldn't massage his fingers or draw lazy patterns in his palm as she often did to relax him when faced with stop-and-go traffic or inclement driving weather.
Today traffic was light and the sky clear, but he didn't want to relax.
Kelly let him away with silence for as long as she could stand. "Okay, Greg. Talk to me."
"Tell me what you want me to say." He wasn't being difficult. For the first time he was glad of her education and perception, because he had nothing to offer; she would have to draw it out of him.
"I want you to tell me what happened last night. You were so sweet at the shelter, but then you were suddenly... not sweet."
He said nothing, waiting for her to make the deduction on her own. He'd already decided just to agree with whatever she came up with because she was probably right and it would save him the mental energy of figuring out and owning his motives.
"Did you feel threatened? Because that's such an important element of my life that you're not a part of?"
He hummed agreeably.
"Or were you upset with yourself because you were seeing a different side of the sex trade? Maybe feeling guilty?"
He knew he SHOULD agree to that, either morally or just to appease her. But it would have been a lie. He started to feel defensive. "It's not the same; those are just messed up kids. The women I... hire... are professionals."
"The difference between hiring a reputable contractor and paying migrant workers under the table. Is that what you mean?"
"I guess. Yeah, it is."
"Okay."
Now it was her turn to fall silent, and it made him uncomfortable. In fact, it made him feel the same way he had the night before. "Don't you have something to say about that?"
"I don't know what I CAN say. Frankly, it's just baffling to me that someone could..." She stopped to gather her thoughts. "We're just very different, you and I."
House knew that Kelly was an accepting person; it was one of the things that most attracted him to her, because he knew full well that he required an extra dose of acceptance. But though she was trying he could tell that this was seriously stretching her limits. "I'm sorry." He felt sincere, though he wasn't quite sure what he was sorry for.
Kelly let it go. For now. "So you were a jerk. Because you were threatened."
He felt he owed her something, so he chose to contribute. "It became abundantly clear that to be a part of your life would mean embracing what you do. And I just don't care that much."
She wasn't put off by his calousness. "So you thought... what? That I would want to send you packing when I suddenly 'remembered' what was important to me? So you might as well just alienate me and speed up the process because otherwise I might be too polite to do the job?"
He shrugged helplessly. "While I wasn't consciously making those decisions... I'd say that pretty well sums it up."
"You're an idiot."
"That's my line."
"Not today, it's not."
She sighed heavily and dropped a hand onto his thigh. A careless gesture on her part, but it served to reassure him. It was his gratitude that prompted him to be the one to continue.
"The whole situation gave me a lot to think about. And led me to thinking about other things. And when I think, I pace."
"Why?"
He shrugged again, and glanced at her briefly. It was instantly clear to him that she'd already deduced an answer. "I don't know. But I'm guessing you do."
"I think you pace because it hurts your leg. And your mind can only deal with one hurt at a time."
He could feel her eyes boring into him, and he found himself holding back several sarcastic remarks that were fighting to leave his mouth to break the tension, to distract her and defend him from having to talk about this further. And the longer she waited and stared the harder he had to fight.
How could she have known? "I'm proud of you, Greg. For not making light of this."
He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "How proud?" Now it was okay.
"Proud enough to let you off the hook. Let's go home and make out."
A quick check to his mirrors and he laid on the brake, causing her to squeal in alarm. Then he pulled a u-turn on the empty road and took off again, her laughter making him smile. But the smile left him quickly when she spoke again.
"When I found you... it scared me, Greg. A lot. And it makes me wonder just what kind of pain you were trying to mask by beating your leg up like that. Is it just Amber?"
"JUST?" he spat back.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to minimize it. I meant, was it only Amber, or is there more you haven't told me?"
He plucked her hand from his thigh and brought it to his lips. "You said I was off the hook."
She paused. "Everybody lies."
Of all the things she could have said, his own mantra - one she'd never heard him utter - was the perfect reply and it made his heart jump. Impulsively, he pulled the car onto the side of the road and kissed her.
"What was that for?" she asked with a delighted grin.
He wished he could explain, but the words weren't there. So he kissed her again and shook his head. "Nothing."
