Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 51
By MyNameIsCAL
To the flock:
It's safe to say none of you saw this coming, and I made sure that not even Angel would be able to finger this out. And you know, I'm not going to lie and say that there wasn't anything you could have done because there was, if only I had asked for help.
Ever since that day where Fang, Max, Jack, and I almost got killed, the day where I'm responsible for all those deaths, something broke inside of me. Something I couldn't live with. And it's not fair that I was still here when those people whose lives could have been saved if I had just backed away. I should have backed away, I just didn't know when to quit.
This is an apology, to you Fang. For all those days I wasn't good to you, all those days I probably pushed you farther into addiction rather than pulling you out.
For Max, who I've only seen briefly, I wish you the best with your marriage and you should know that Fang really does love you more than anything in the world, he was the only one who didn't give up. Unlike me. So don't you dare go back to what you used to be because of me, or I'll come back from the grave to haunt you.
Angel, my beloved sister, I know you'll be torn up that you never saw this. It took a lot of power to control what I thought about around you.
Nudge, in another life, you would have married Iggy. And in another life from that, I might have fallen for you and married you too.
My will is in Arizona, locked in my desk. The key should be in the kitchen. The world will be a better place without me, and I'll miss you all dearly. If the movie bombs, tell everyone I'm sorry. But this was always a time pressed project.
I could write a novel to all of you, but I won't. I'll save you the trouble from going through anymore pain.
Love,
Gazzy
PS Tell Jack I'm sorry, that he should continue my work.
I throw the letter on the bed, angrily, and stumble out of the room. Nudge has made her way inside now.
"Where are you going?" she asks me.
"To find a fucking drink," I say.
She grabs me by the arm. "No, Fang."
I shake her off.
"You know you don't want to do that." But it's not Nudge's voice, it's Angel's.
I turn and stare at her.
"Go and comfort Max," Angel says quietly, wiping her eyes. "I need to go to Phoenix and tell Iggy."
Angel leaves, leaving me with the decision to go back to Max or find a drink. I go to Max.
"Max," I say, sitting next to her on the bed, taking the letter from her. "Max, I know you've read that at least a dozen times now."
She wraps her arms around me. "How could we be so stupid? We knew it was too fast for him and too suddenly for him to get better like that."
I shake my head. "Angel didn't even see it coming. How were we supposed to know?"
She cries against me, and Nudge enters the room, taking the note. It's not long before she's crying too.
The media flocks the house over the next few days as we try to get Gazzy's funeral together, whether we'll have a wake, or not. Jack has been a mad man, trying to help us out.
I sit in Gazzy's overly large house with Max, in the kitchen. The rest of the flock has taken refuge for the night in the other rooms, but for us, we won't sleep, and I'll be up, resisting the urge to drink, at least, in good company.
"We should hire a lawyer," I mutter, running my hands through my hair. "Someone has to deal with the media mess. I mean, their vans are lining the street and I want to be able to go outside without a picture being snapped of me."
Max puts a finger to my lips. "Jack said he'd take care of it."
I lean against the table, watching Max sip her coffee. We seemed to only be running on caffeine and whatever food Iggy cooked up in order to distract himself.
"Can you do me a favor?" I ask.
She looks down at me, her arm resting on my shoulder as she twists my hair with her fingers. "Sure, anything."
"Gazzy has all his alcohol stashed in cabinet next to the fridge," I continue. "Can you drain it all?"
Max nods and I stand, finding the couch to get some sleep.
This story will see its end soon. I have a couple more chapters left after this one. I'll update around Friday probably.
If you got a chance, check out the poll on my profile page. I just ended another story and as I said, this one is nearing its end too, I need to figure out what I'm gonna put up next. I have some new stories written and I'm interested to see what you'd all like to read. Of course everything I write will go up eventually, I'd just like to put something out there first that you'd be more interested in reading first. Thanks for reading!
