Tikal on steroids!

Thanks for the reviews to the parody! I'm glad that a lot of people seemed to like it so far!

Jill: Before we introduce the special guest, we shall first add on a new Sonic character…mainly because people have been asking us to! Here is…Chip!

Chip: (flies in) YAY!

Jack: Hello, Daxter-I mean, Chip!

Jill: Oh my gosh…I never noticed that before! Sonic and Chip=Jak and Daxter!

Jack: I know. I noticed that immediately! Sonic's werehog voice even SOUNDS kind of like Jak's voice!

Jill: All we need to do is give them some guns and land them in the middle of an imperial city…

Chip: Awww…I'm based off of some other video game character? I going to need some chocolate to help get over this…(flies off)

Jack: (yells to him) See you at the next Chocoholics Anonymous meeting!…Or whenever we get to his reviews!

Jill: (also yells to him) Even the name's a pun…Chocolate Chip!

Jack: Now it's time for the special guest for the chapter…Borat Sagdiyev!

Borat: Jagshemash!

Jill: We're doing this mostly because we're saddened by the fact that Sacha Baron Cohen won't be doing Borat anymore…AUGH!

Borat: (notices Rouge) In Kazakhstan, you would be very popular…you might even surpass my sister for number 4 prostitute in the country!

Rouge: Finally, some appreciation!

Jack: Wow…

Anyways...to the dares...
Throw Tails in the fan girl pit.
Make Amy have have a non stop "period" during the whole chapter.
Make Knuckles give Charmy all of his money/rings. And Knuckles can not kill Charmy either! And let Charmy buy whatever he wants, and do not let any of the Sonic Characters make fun of, or complain on what he gets! If they do, they get electrocuted!
Throw Blaze in the closet that's filled with a bunch of insane monkeys.
-Jojora

Jack: Will do! (grabs Tails, throws him to fan girls)

Fan girls: (emit loudest scream ever) CHIBI!

Tails: NOOOO!

Espio: That's for taking all of our fan girls!

Jack: I think we all are going to suffer for this…AUTHOR POWERS! (gives Amy a non-stop period for chapter)

Amy: Where's Sonic? I need to KICK HIS ASS for sleeping with so many women!

Jack: (hides behind Borat) IT'S A DANGER ZONE! RUN!

Borat: (points to Amy) You remind me of my wife when she turned 15...(shudders)

Jack: (backs away) TMI, man…

Knuckles: But…that bee will use them on crappy, useless things! I spend my money on something useful…booze!

Jill: Sorry, Knuckie…you've got to do what they say!

Knuckles: (hands over rings to Charmy)

Charmy: Alright! Guinness World Record for most Red Bulls drank, HERE I COME! (runs off)

Amy: Why isn't anyone telling me where Sonic is? (notices Blaze) Hmm…I guess if I can't kill him, I'll just have to kill the whores he goes with! (throws Blaze into closet, dumps a barrel of monkeys into there)

Blaze: Hey! Stop scratching me! Oh no…their leader is the evil monkey in the closet from Family Guy! AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Jack: Wow…we know this chapter's off to a good start when we're talking about evil monkeys!

Everyone in this show must fight in epic duel tounaments however they like for 2 chpters. This also means you too Jack and Jill.
Before that I want Jack,Shadow ,Omega,Rouge,and Jill to go to Raccon City and wipe all the you can use this advenced prototype riffles to kill and see you later.
-Classic but better

Jack: (hands out rifles) Awww…I suck at Resident Evil!

Jill: Damn…well, we'll just have to kill those zombies anyways!

Shadow: I like this! Finally, I get an excuse to start shooting people in the head!

All 5: (head to Raccoon City)

Tails: (climbs out of fan girls pit very exhausted) What do we do while waiting?

Knuckles: Beat the crap out of each other, of course!

Sonic: DUEL TOURNAMENT!

Espio: (sighs) This is why I always avoid you guys as much as possible!

Charmy: (returns, draws out sword) Are you kidding? This is great!

Blaze: (escapes from closet) I'm fighting the crazy fan girl who doesn't know when to stop!

Amy: YAHHHHHH! (gets into an epic fight with Blaze)

Tails: Since we hate Charmy, I'll kick his ass for you all! (hops on Tornado, starts blasting away at Charmy)

Sonic: (looking at stats) WHAT?! Espio's more popular than I am?

Espio: Hell yes! I knew those fan girls would find me to be badass!

Sonic: That's it! We're fighting, right now! (starts up another epic fight with Espio)

Silver: Well…I guess the only one I can think of fighting is Mephiles!

Mephiles: Fine! (immediately kills Silver with beam)

Knuckles: Wow…that ended quickly! Let's hope that my fight with Eggman ends like that!

Eggman: What? (gets tackled by Knuckles) AUGH!

Cream: You're not my real daddy! (shanks Vector)

Vector: Ugh…(collapses, bleeds to death)

Vanilla: Cream, how did you get that knife?

Cream: You don't want to know…

Cosmo: (busy strangling Jet) You're next, Cream!

Sonic: (with several ninja stars in him, panting0 Mustn't…give up…(BAM)

Jack: (enters stage with smoking gun, alongside others)

Espio: Hey! I was supposed to kill him!

Shadow: Everyone wants to kill him…

Amy: (notices dead Sonic) NOOOOO! (jumps into fan girl crowd, gets set ablaze)

Blaze: Sweet! Win by default!

Jack: Alright, this tournament is starting to bore me a bit…(revives dead characters)

Borat: (notices Silver) The town rapist would love meeting you!

Silver: (shudders)

Shadow, you rock. Have a rocket launcher
Froggy, kill Big in the most gruesome method you can comprehend.
Big, get killed by froggy
Blaze, who do you love?
Rouge&Knuckles, go to the closet
Amy, kill all Sonic fangirls
Look Eggman, the secret to killing Sonic is over there, beneath those people[points to Metroid Fanboys{they are violent, and horny}]
Tails, Stay in the closet with Cosmo for 3 chapters
Cream, give silver a make-over{grins evily}
-Snow Cone Klyde

Shadow: (takes launcher) Damn! That would've been so useful against the zombies!

Froggy: (grabs Chaos Emerald) Ribbit! (Translation: Time to carve you up!)

Big: Uhhh…okay…(gets brutally murdered by Froggy)

Borat: That reminds me of a time in Kazakhstan when-

Jill: We probably don't want to know.

Jack: I do!

Blaze: I like…hedgehogs! I think I can generalize it down to that…

Sonaze, Shadaze, and Silvaze fans: (continue arguing)

Knuckles: Party time! (heads into closet with Rouge)

Amy: (continues fighting fan girls, even when on fire)

Eggman: I can finally kill the blue bastard? How? (dives into Metroid fan boys)

Metroid fan boys: (drooling)

Eggman: Ummm…how do I kill Sonic?

Random Metroid fan boy: Put on this! (gives Eggman a Samus outfit)

Eggman: Ummm…okay!

Jack: Oh no! (throws up) I think we all know what's going to happen next…

Eggman: AHHHHH! (learns what sadism is)

Tails: 3 chapters? Oh boy…(heads into closet with Cosmo) WHOA!

Rouge: Hey! We're still in here!

Knuckles: Yeah, you're supposed to barge in on Shadow!

Cosmo: Oh yeah…whoops!

Cream: (grabs makeup, lipstick) Another dress-up! Sweet!

Silver: (gets makeover, looks in mirror) I…am horrified!

Borat: Now the town rapist would REALLY like you!

Jack: And we're still only halfway through the chapter! (laughs evilly)

Looking through the reviews, I've noticed that some people (Darcey the demon hedgehog and TARDISreviewer) still want their Oc's in this story. I'm not sure Jack will let them in, but (pulls out sacrificial dagger) I have a use for them! (Drags off Falnic and Darcey)
Mephiles: Douse yourself in gasoline and start playing with a lighter. Lock yourself in the closet with Amy, Charmy, and Cream before doing this.
Espio: You're a better fighter than Shadow, so apply for his job at GUN. (After his "pay raises", I'm sure they'll be more than happy to give the job to you)
Blaze: Go to rehab and get cured of your pyromania.
Big: What are you doing out of the closet? I told you not to come out until you find the cure for cancer! Because of that, I want Vector to rip out your spine and beat you senseless with it until you die. After you're revived, get back in the closet and don't come out until you find the cure OR ELSE!
Vector: Play Russian Roulette with Charmy and Espio, but I want the gun loaded with two bullets so that only one can be left standing.
Tikal: Learn how to actually fight and then beat Rouge to death in unarmed combat.
Chaos: I want Tikal to throw you on an electric and Gamma: Have a bowling contest between the two of you. The loser will be taken apart by the atom scrambler I have given Tails. Use Sonic as the bowling ball.
Tails: Sue the yaoi fan girls for forcing Sonic to impregnate you. Afterwards, throw Sonic off of the top of Mt. Everest.
Cosmo: By the time it's your turn, I will have sacrificed Falnic and Darcey to summon a demon! I give full control of the demon to you and would like you to unleash it on Cream!
The suffering keeps mounting, and I am all too happy to contribute to it. (OCTUPLE EVIL LAUGHTER)
-Super Dragon

Jill: That review will make up the second half!

Mephiles: (grabs Amy, Charmy, and Cream) Stupid suicide pyromania…(goes into closet with them)

Amy: What now?

Mephiles: (douses self in gasoline) AHAHAHAHA!

Rouge and Knuckles: (run out of closet) OH (bleep)!

Tails: Ahh…that sex was great! Wait, what's going on? Cosmo and I are still kind of busy here…

Cream: DIE! (tackles Cosmo, starts fighting her)

Tails: I feel like doing something to calm down now for my afterglow…(grabs cigarette and lighter) Hmmm…(BOOM)

-Later-

Mephiles: (revived with all others killed) Damn it, Tails…You got us all killed! I was supposed to do that!

Tails: I have to admit, though…that smoke was totally worth it!

Everyone: (glares at Tails)

Tails: Ummm…(runs back into closet with Cosmo)

Espio: (gulps) I hope I am…there's a reason he still has more fan girls, though…(applies for job)

Blaze: AUGH! I don't have pyromania!

Jack: LIAR! Everyone knows you do!

Jill: Just calm down, Blaze…the first step is admitting you have a problem!

Blaze: (rolls eyes) Bastards…(heads to rehab center)

Big: Uhhh...I gave up on it!

Vector: There's no room for giving up on here! (does some very violent, crippling actions to Big)

Jack: (revives Big) Now go back in there!

Big: (goes back into closet, watches Tails and Cosmo's "Biology demonstration" while working on cure)

Espio: (comes back) I got Shadow's job!

Shadow: WHAT?! Son of a…(starts up an epic fight with Espio)

Espio: I'm too awesome to die! I WILL WIN!

Shadow: NO, for my awesomeness outdoes yours! (kicks Espio's ass)

-Later-

Shadow: (ties up Team Chaotix) As punishment, I'm making you all play Russian Roulette! Maybe that will teach you to not (bleep) with a government agent…especially not a BISHIE government agent!

-Meanwhile-

Blaze: But the fire is part of my powers!

Specialist: That means that your pyromania has gotten to REALLY bad levels! We're going to need a Code Red here…

Blaze: What? Come on…(gets dragged into electrode room) AHHHHHHH!

-Meanwhile-

Charmy: (shoots self)

Vector and Espio: (cheer until they realize one of them still has to die)

Espio: (puts up gun) Ha! My awesomeness will protect me-(BOOM)

Vector: Sweet…I survived!

Jill: And now I guess we have to do this…(injects Tikal with steroids)

Jack: Oh (bleep)…ROID RAGE!

Tikal: YAUGH! (tackles Rouge, crushes her with one punch)

Knuckles: Wow…remind me not to piss off Tikal!

Chaos: (gets in Tikal's way) RAWR! (gets thrown into fence and electrocuted)

-Many destructive hours later-

Jack: Wow…that was almost as bad as when Shadow started blowing up everything!

Omega: (grabs Sonic, rolls him into ball) Time to dominate. (throws Sonic into bowling pins, breaks every pin in half)

Sonic: Oww…jeez, that REALLY hurt! (gets picked up by Gamma) Damn it!

Gamma: (rolls Sonic toward newly built pins)

Sonic: (bounces off of pins without any falling)

Jack: THAT WAS A WEAK THROW!

Tails: (runs out of closet) I get to destroy something? Yay! (uses scrambler to break apart Gamma) Now it's time for court…

-At trial-

Blaze: (in fetal position on floor) Fire is bad…FIRE IS BAD!

Jill: Damn…we really messed her up!

Tails: Those yaoi fan girls caused my best friend to knock me up, not just in this fic but in many other fics out there!

Judge: The defense?

Yaoi fan girls: WE KNOW THEY'RE IN LOVE! THEY'RE LYING!

Sonic: (shudders) We're not!

Tails: Okay…listen to this proposal, judge! You give me 50K in this suit, and I won't blow this court to smithereens with my nukes! Got it?

Judge: The yaoi fan girls are guilty as charged! (bangs gavel, then runs for shelter)

Sonic: What do we do with the money?

Tails: We're taking a trip to Mt. Everest…

Cosmo: Some random demon? Cool! Go, boy! (decides to sic demon on Cream)

Cream: AHHHH! (faces million fires of hell)

-Meanwhile-

Sonic: Top of the world, huh? It's too bad we CAN'T SEE ANYTHING BECAUSE WE'RE ABOVE THE CLOUDS!

Tails: (mutters) You unappreciative bastard…

Sonic: What was that?

Tails: Hey! You wanna go sledding? (holds up log)

Sonic: YES! (jumps onto log, goes down Mt. Everest and crashes in a way that would make Johnny Knoxville ashamed)

Tails: Wow…that's going to be a popular video!

Remember, check out my other Sonic fic…and watch the stupidity unfold!