Year Four

Disclaimer: All of this is based upon the lovely J.K. Rowling's work. I own nothing except for a few non-canon characters to be introduced along the way. All of the paraphrased or direct quotes are from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, text copyright 2000 by J.K. Rowling. This story also borrows and incorporates several ideas from They Shook Hands by Dethryl, which is posted on Schnoogle, and I highly recommend as it is a great fic.

Everything is in the British-English spellings and feel free to Brit-pick.


"blah": dialogue

'blah': thoughts

"blah": Parseltongue

"blah": Legilimency/Telepathy


Chapter Fifty-Two: Shadow of the Day

Years later would find the next few hours little more than a blur in her memory. The feel of Professor Snape's hand on her shoulder. Dumbledore peering down at her. The warmth of arms around her back. A soft tingle of magic washing over her skin. Throat scratchy and dry from overuse. Eyes sore and wet.

She drifted. Lost to the haze of consciousness. Neither here nor somewhere else. But rather both at the same time. All Holly knew were whispers and snatches of conversation. Words that made no sense as they wove in and out around her. Some of them from others. Some she could almost swear were her own. Some with no discernable source as they echoed around her brain.

Then, there was a hand on her face. Gentle and lifting her chin up. The feel of a cup at her lips. And only darkness.

Waking was more like struggling up from a deep, dark abyss. Like floating up from the bottom of the lake when the merfolk kept trying to pull her back down. Her eyelids were too heavy to move. Weighed down as they were by exhaustion. But she was aware enough to realise that she was on a bed and not as nice of one that she had in the dorms or at home. It wasn't soft enough for one, and for another, there was a spring poking her in the hip.

'The hospital wing,' her feeble mind supplied.

She was in the hospital wing.

Holly contemplated that conundrum – since really, what had she done to yet again earn her place here? Reality, however, chose that moment to smack Holly in the face. Ramming into her skull with the force of a Bludger. Reminding her of the maze and Viktor. Taking the cup to the graveyard. Voldemort and Death Eaters. The fake Moody and... Cedric. Her friend. Dead. Gone. Lost because of her. Stolen.

She choked back a sob and sank back into her bed. Stuck in her head with little else besides memories. Not knowing how long it replayed until she finally broke free. Forcing everything back and locking it away. Allowing herself a moment to breathe.

She was beset by other things then. Other sensations beside guilt. Sound first. The soft, not-quite snore of a man nearby and the even breathing of at least two other people a bit farther away. Next was the gentle buzz of her Mind Magic, but it was still sluggish and half-asleep. Then touch. The rhythmic ruffling of her hair from the left side. That was followed by scent – chamomile and cinnamon with the undertone of fur. And something else. Almost like sage and lemongrass. Like the soap his mum had given him for Yule.

Sirius and Remus. And was that Blaise?

There was another smell, too. One that lingered as though somebody else had been there recently but had left a few minutes before she'd woken up. But for the life of her, the girl couldn't think of who it could be. And really, what did it matter in the end?

Somehow, after two false starts, Holly managed to slowly peel open her eyes. But they were dry and crusty, and it took another minute or three to focus them successfully. Quite a task with her mental speed running somewhere around that of a retarded flobberworm. Not to mention the fact that her glasses were literally nowhere in sight.

Everything was a blur. Smudged at the edges as she tried to focus. The room was too bright though. She had to blink several times before she could successfully adjust. Squinting as she glanced around, Holly slowly turned her head towards the ruffling of her hair. Even mostly blind she could make out the shape of Sirius' nose and the trail of drool from his open mouth. He was in a chair, head and shoulder wedged between the headboard and her bed. Slightly behind him and to the side was a man-shaped blob that she belatedly recognised as Remus. And even though Holly could hardly see the boy on the bed on their other side, her magic told her exactly who it was.

Holly would've smiled had she the energy. As it were, it took at least another full minute to clear her throat enough to speak.

"Sirius..."

But it came out as a dry wheeze.

"Sirius..."

Stronger this time. But not strong enough. And Holly sucked in a breath to get more air. Only cough with her efforts.

Sirius jerked off the bed and to the floor with a muffled thump. That was followed by a groan, Remus sitting up with a start, and Blaise merely rolling over to face them. It took a few seconds for his brain to process the tableau before him, but she could tell when it did as evidenced by the bodily launching of himself in her general direction. With quickness worthy of Apparition, he made it to her side. Neatly fitting into the spot Sirius had formerly claimed.

"Holly," Blaise breathed, already reaching for her hand.

"Hey," she managed, but her throat was still parched as the desert.

"Awake I see," Remus commented with a soft smile. He didn't even look as he offered a hand to Sirius and pulled him up from the floor.

Her godfather's face appeared in her view with a grin and impossibly bright eyes. His hair hung around his head in two clumps by his cheeks. Almost like black puppy ears that drooped and slid into his face.

"How are you?" Sirius asked as he climbed up from his knees and eased over to rest on the edge of her bed.

Holly coughed when she tried to answer, and Blaise helped her sit up while Sirius propped pillows behind her and Remus somehow acquired a glass of water. Her best friend pressed it to her mouth before she could even think to reach out, and the coolness soothed her throat enough for her to speak once she'd finished.

"Feeling any better?" Blaise questioned.

"I do now," she replied after a second, glancing around with squinted eyes until her godfather belatedly slid her glasses onto her face. "Thanks."

"Of course." He smiled at her, but the tips of his mouth were strained. Like he had to force the expression.

Holly swallowed and couldn't quite understand why.

"How are you?" he asked then. "How are you really? I know that last night was..." Sirius searched for a word.

"Hard," Remus suggested. "Last night was hard."

She felt her free hand clench, and images passed behind her eyes. Tall hedges that surrounded her now matter how she ran. The dusty smell of the graveyard. Voldemort with eyes burning red. Agony like ten thousand knives stabbing into her skin. The bite of rock underneath her palms as she struggled to stand. And then, the sweeping rush of death and Cedric's empty eyes staring up at the ceiling.

Holly jerked at the sudden hands on her shoulders, and she would've thrown herself sideways and out of bed if Blaise hadn't held on. She sucked in a harsh breath at the three concerned faces staring down at her. Belatedly, she realised that they'd been and still were calling her name.

She shook her head. "Sorry. I'm sorry." Holly hunched forward and allowed her hair to slide across her face to hide her eyes. "I was just... remembering. Just thinking about... about..."

"Cedric," Blaise guessed in a soft tone, arm still over her shoulders in a half-hug. Somehow, he was even nearer to her than he'd been a few minutes ago. Practically sitting on her lap.

"You know about him?" she repeated, nearly incredulous. Even as she fought down the bile burning up from her belly.

The other three exchanged a look. Her godfather reached for her hand, even as Blaise pulled her closer. The lone one not crowding her space was Remus, but that was because she was only so big and there was only so much room. Sirius and Blaise managed to take up most of it.

"You already told us what happened, Holly," her godfather reminded her gently. "Last night. While you were being healed. You told us about the graveyard and Voldemort and how you escaped. And what happened afterwards with Crouch." His finger stroked the back of her hand. "Don't you remember any of this?"

Holly tried. She honestly did. But all she could draw was a huge blank. Her mind was still sluggish and more than a little tired. She was exhausted really. Brain feeling more like strawberry jelly in her head than something useful.

"No," she admitted.

They all glanced at each other again, and something silent passed between Blaise and the two adults. A look that seemed to say everything and nothing without using any words at all. Lingering as a quiet conversation took place in the span of seconds.

Finally, Remus cleared his throat. "Perhaps it's for the best that you don't. It was hard enough for you the first time."

Holly wasn't sure what to say to that, so she stayed quiet. Looking from one of them to the next. As a whole, all of them seemed tired. Sirius had dark circles under his blue eyes, and Remus' hair was mussed in a way that he'd never normally allow. They both wore the same clothes from yesterday, complete with wrinkles so big that nothing short of magic would remove them. As for Blaise, he was in much the same state, but there was also something a little more off about him. Something that slithered along their connection and wrapped around.

But Holly was too exhausted to do more than notice it was there and hope that she'd figure it out later. Too drained to do more than blink up at him stupidly as he cocked his head to the side.

"Still with us?" Blaise questioned, nose hovering inches from her own. "You sort of faded out again."

Holly promptly yawned in his face.

"Sorry," she apologised afterwards, but she was too weary to do more than that. "I'm just tired."

Blaise waved her off. "It's still early. Just past dawn," he added with a glance at his watch. "You should go back to sleep."

Holly thought to protest, but she yawned again. She could see Blaise's smirk when she recovered. Without prompting or permission, he gently pushed her to lay back. Going so far as arranging and removing pillows to make it easier. She could hear Sirius chuckling in the background as Blaise worked.

"Such a mother hen," her godfather commented to Remus.

She couldn't see it, but Holly knew that the werewolf was probably rolling his eyes.

"Just go back to sleep," Remus told her then as Blaise filched her glasses and hid them away.

Holly frowned at what she assumed was him. Since really, her eyes were just that bad even with him so close up. But she was tired, and sleep sounded like such a wonderful thing. Just sleeping away until it was all better and she hadn't just witnessed a friend's murder. Waking up to a world without Voldemort or Death Eaters or horror.

Her eyelids closed of their own accord, and it felt like Holly was floating away as she heard a door open on the other side of the room. That was followed by the sound of footsteps and the swish of cloth against skin. Holly couldn't see who it was though. Her eyelids were just too heavy to lift.

"Oh, Eren," Holly heard Remus say.

But she was already drifting. Unable to open her eyes and see Blaise's mum for herself. Instead, Holly could only sigh as a feminine hand brushed hair from her forehead. She just relaxed into the touch, sleepy and warm and surrounded by her family, listening as the conversation continued on around her.

"-woke up?"

"-a little while."

"Pomfrey said-"

"But Fudge-"

"No, Dumbledore-"

"-you sure?"

And then, she was fading away.

Holly woke sometime later aware of someone sitting on her bed next to her. She was curled on her side, nose and cheek pressed into the crook of an elbow. She allowed a moment for her brain to reboot before blinking and pulling back to see Blaise propped up against her headboard. From the open book in his hands, it was obvious that he'd been reading while he sat with her. Not an unusually thing with all the times she'd found herself in the hospital wing. Really, it was becoming a something of a habit.

Holly gave him a vaguely sleepy smile as she sat up and stretched. He handed her glasses over without prompting, which earned him a nod of thanks as she moved to get out of bed. The loo called to her, and Holly simply had to answer, waving Blaise off as she stumbled to the other side of the room on her own. She didn't know how long she spent in the shower or just cleaning up, but she felt better afterwards when she stepped back into the ward. Almost good enough to leave, but knowing Madam Pomfrey she had a puffskein's chance against a dragon of that one happening within her lifetime. Much less the next few hours.

And speaking of Pomfrey...

"Where's everyone?" Holly asked as she came back over to her bed, which Blaise seemed to have made in her absence.

Come to think of it, he seemed to have tidied up the stack of well-wishes that had accumulated on the table sometime while she slept. Though that was probably out of boredom more than anything. Or perhaps nerves. But why he'd be nervous was beyond her.

"Remus and my mum are with the headmaster, and Sirius went to fire-call the Tonkses. Flitwick came by to get Pomfrey a little while ago. Something about three of his students getting stuck in a wall." Blaise gave a half-shrug as he turned to face her fully. "I'm not really sure about that last one."

Somehow, this all struck her as just a bit convenient. Especially with the gleam in Blaise's eyes that meant they were in for a conversation she probably wouldn't like. But at least, her mind seemed up to speed this time. Which should make it just that much easier to follow along. Small favours.

Her face must have shown her suspicion because he sighed.

"I just wanted to talk to you," he put in. "This seems like a good time as any."

Holly inhaled through her mouth as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Nevertheless, she cast a privacy ward with her wand and sat down on her bed, motioning him to join her. She didn't know how long they had, and every part of her tingled with the knowledge that it was best if they weren't interrupted.

"You wanted to talk," Holly commented after a few heartbeats when Blaise didn't say anything. "So talk."

He lifted a brow at that. "I will. I am. I just need a moment to gather my thoughts."

Holly wondered why that was since she honestly didn't understand. He'd rarely ever needed to hesitate with her before. They were always open and truthful with one another. But Blaise chose to speak before she could ponder that further.

"This is wrong, you know," he began. "So messed up. This whole year was."

"I had noticed that, thanks," Holly commented but quieted at a look.

"This was supposed to be a good year. A quiet year," he told her. "The tournament was supposed to distract everyone. You weren't supposed to be in it."

Holly opened her mouth, but he shot her another hard glance. And something prickled across their connection. Odd and all but indecipherable.

"You weren't supposed to be in danger."

She didn't quite know how to take that. It didn't sound like an accusation, but it didn't seem comforting either.

"I'm always in danger, if you haven't noticed," the girl observed. "It's the price of being me."

"No, it's not," Blaise insisted with an undertone that bordered on frustration. "It's the price of everyone else being an idiot. Of them not doing what they're supposed to do and protecting a child. Protecting you."

This part was more accusing. But it wasn't directed at her. Still, Holly couldn't help but take affront on her godfather's behalf.

"Sirius does look out for me," she defended almost fiercely. "Admittedly, he's not perfect, but he does. So do Remus and your mum and even Dumbledore and Snape. They're still human though. They're allowed to make mistakes. You can't expect them to be perfect. To know everything Voldemort and all the rest have planned. Not all the time."

Blaise rubbed his temple for a second. "That's not what I meant, Holly," he said with exasperation. "Or even what I was getting at in the first place."

"Look," she inserted before he could explain further, "I know that this hasn't been easy. The tournament and then... this. It hasn't been easy on anyone of us. Not me and not you either." She breathed out through her mouth. "So I'm sorry."

"Sorry-"

Blaise made a strangled noise. Almost like words had failed him and all he could make were animal noises.

"Yes!" she put in. "I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be sorry. This isn't your fault," Blaise returned heatedly.

"Not fully."

"Not at all."

"Not fully," Holly repeated.

"It isn't your fault or even your responsibility," he countered. "They were supposed to keep this from happening."

"I didn't enter the tournament, no," she shot back, "and I did have to compete. But I didn't have to try to win. There were safer options. I could've done the bare minimum and forfeited each task when that failed."

"What does that... That isn't even my point." Blaise clenched and unclenched his right hand. "That isn't my point at all."

"Then what the hell are you trying to say?" she questioned, voice sharp and nearly drawing blood. "If not that then what? What do you mean, Blaise? What could you-"

"You almost died!" he all but shouted then, and Blaise sucked in air like he'd just run a marathon. One harsh breath that he held. "You almost died," he repeated, and it was steady and even and all that much worse.

"Blaise," Holly began in her calmest tone, jolted from her earlier ire, "I've almost died a lot of times."

"I know," he bit out, but somehow, it managed to be softer this time. More in control. "I know. Yet again, you were in mortal peril. Yet again, you risked your life for some utterly insane quest. Yet again, some maniac tried to do you in."

Well, there was no reason to be so sarcastic bout it. And Holly felt her own temper flare again. Maybe it was a reflection of his mood. Perhaps it was the bond. Or maybe she was just sick and tired of being passive.

"I'm sorry if that offends you," she threw back at him, unable to keep the edge out. "I'll try harder next time."

The sound he made was something akin to a growl. "There shouldn't be a next time."

"There always is," Holly retorted. "You should know that by now. That's just the way it is, and Voldemort's back if you haven't noticed."

He flinched, but she didn't think it was because of the name.

"You shouldn't just accept this. This isn't your job or your responsibility. You shouldn't have to do this."

"I know that, and I don't. But I'm being realistic here. I might as well have a giant target painted on my forehead." She pointed to her scar. "That's pretty much what this is."

"No, it isn't." He motioned violently. "It means you survived. That your mother loved you."

Holly lifted her chin, even as she felt her eyes narrow into slits. "Look, I don't know what your problem-"

"My problem?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, your problem. What's bloody wrong with-"

"I wasn't there!"

His words hit her with the force of a Concussion curse to the head. Not a shout. But Holly almost wished it were. That would've been better, been easier. Instead, there was just fury in his eyes, and all of it was directed inward.

"I wasn't there," he said again, and his voice was so painful, so very bitter and self-recriminating. "Not this time. Not the last time."

She swallowed and felt the back of her eyes burn. Holly wasn't even sure why.

"It's not your fault." She echoed his earlier words in a whisper, but he still heard.

"I know. I know. I do." Blaise gave a jerky nod and looked at her with eyes too bright. "But I wasn't there. You needed me, and I wasn't there. I couldn't even get to you until after Cedric was dead. I knew something was wrong. I could feel it. But I couldn't reach you."

"It wasn't-"

"I know. But I should've been there," he murmured. "I needed to be there. Just like I need to be here right now."

Blaise's voice had softened with each word, and she strained to hear the last part. But she still did, gazing at him, and his face was close, too close. Dark eyes taking up her entire field of vision. Then, there was a hand at her chin that titled her head up.

His lips were warm but dry. Not quite soft as they moved over hers with growing pressure until he abruptly pulled back. There wasn't shock on his face. No surprise. Not like he'd done it spur of the moment. Or perhaps he'd simply considered this possibility before.

Holly, however, was floored. She could only gape at him. Just sit there in utter disbelief for several heartbeats until she remembered how to speak.

"I thought... And I mean... You're my bondmate... We aren't... They don't... This isn't supposed to happen."

She struggled to find the right words to describe this particular situation; there simply weren't any. None at all.

"Do you... fancy me?" Holly hazarded a guess.

Since really, that was the only thing that could possibly explain this.

Blaise exhaled sharply. "I don't know. I don't. I just…" He shook his head helplessly. "Does it even matter? No other girl is ever going to measure up to you. I'm never going to love anyone else as much as I love you. You'll always come first to me." He looked at her for a long second and then rubbed a hand across his face. "I love my family, but at the end of the day, even they aren't you."

She made a choking noise. "Do you-"

"Don't think for a minute that I regret this," he cut her off. "I don't. I've never regretted it. Not for a single second."

Holly put her hand over her mouth. She didn't know if it was to conceal her expression or merely an automatic reaction. She swallowed thickly – once, twice, a third time – and slowly withdrew her hand. She didn't know what to say, but maybe it was better not to think right now.

"My Patronus is you, did I tell you that?" Holly asked, and even she had no idea where that one came from. Straight out of the Quidditch stands and onto the field.

Blaise blinked. "I thought it was a wolf."

"The wolf is you," she explained.

And suddenly, it all made sense. Really, it did.

The wolf was Blaise. Her Patronus – her protector and most important thing – was Blaise. So simple and easy and obvious that she'd never given it more than a passing thought. Never noticed the truth until she ran into it face first.

"It's always you. It always has been," she mused and couldn't help but laugh. "Always you."

She glanced up and beamed at him. Nothing short of a full on grin that lit up her whole face.

"I'd do anything for you," she realised then. "Anything at all. Anything you ask of me and everything you don't."

Blaise gazed at her, and Holly could tell that her smile was infectious. It had all spread to him after all. Easing up the tension in his shoulders and brightening their connection.

"Even live?" he questioned. "Survive?"

Her grin eased but wasn't any less brilliant. "I'd certainly try."

"Good."

Blaise leaned forward again. He kissed her very gently, almost chastely, before pulling back to rest his forehead against hers and slide his hands around her sides.

"I'd do anything for you, too," he murmured. "I'd burn cities for you. Entire countries. Worlds even."

Holly squeezed her eyes shut and pressed their foreheads together even more. She felt his arms tighten around her back in response, fingers rubbing up and down her spine.

"I'd let you," she replied just as softly.


Pomfrey was still refusing to release her two days later. Sirius wanted to take her home directly after, but he agreed to let her stay until Friday when the school year ended. Holly still wasn't ready to go back to their house; she needed a little time with her friends first, which her godfather seemed to understand.

In the meantime, Holly sat in her hospital bed, too wary of the she-dragon of the ward to make any unnecessary movements. Blaise all but lived on the bed beside hers, only leaving to shower since Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let him use the one there. Her other friends came en masse and stayed until they were bodily thrown out. Rinse and repeat the very next day.

Neville was her first visitor outside of her inner circle, coming before even people from her own House. He didn't say much or even stay long, but something about the fact that he was there so quickly made her feel lighter inside. Besides, the flowers he'd brought were lovely and would look wonderful in her room after she repotted them.

He was followed by others. Professor Snape was next, actually sitting down to a chess match, which he ultimately won. Slytherin House made an appearance in groups of two and three, and Titania nearly suffocated her with something she claimed was a simple hug. Viktor came by every few hours for a few minutes at a time. It was clear he would've stayed longer, but his eyes lingered on Blaise with an all too knowing gleam. Holly didn't actually see Fleur but woke up to a basketful of expensive perfumes and soaps that Milli claimed the French witch had delivered herself. It had a card that was signed by the entire Beauxbatons contingent, including Fleur's younger sister and even her parents, none of whom Holly had ever met.

She also had a smattering of visitors from Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, mostly classmates, Weasleys, or fellow Quidditch players. A few of the Hufflepuffs even came by to see her, though it was the ones she'd at least known in passing before this year. Professor Dumbledore stopped in several times as well, always seeming so happy to see her, and he was the only person there when Holly met with Cedric's parents two days after the third task. Not even Blaise was allowed to stay for that, but it was probably for the best. They didn't blame her, but Cedric was their only child. It was obvious that neither was in a particularly good state of mind.

Rather unsurprisingly, this wasn't the only difficult meeting for Holly. Just as bad was telling her closest friends what had happened. Repeating it as best she could with several long pauses in between. Blaise already knew, of course, and he'd told them the basics. But it was different hearing it directly from her when she'd actually been there. When she'd seen Crouch murder someone while wearing another man's body. When she'd been under the Cruciatus and had Voldemort touch her face. When she had to repeat it all back to them and feel Tom tremble within his diary.

They couldn't even risk him hearing this to his face. Privacy wards were one thing, but even Pomfrey was certain to notice a partially see-through boy hanging around her patient. And as awful as that was, Holly thought it was easier this way. For him not to have to look in her eyes. And if Tom was uneasy around her afterwards, it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Still, Holly let him have his space.

For now.

And eventually, three days after watching Voldemort rise again, it was finally time for Pomfrey to release her from her prison to much joy from the gathered masses. Or her friends more like. Though perhaps it was a good thing they were all there since nothing short of magic let them carry all the gifts and what-not Holly had accumulated over her stay. Everything from cards to candy to presents of all sorts.

Of course, Draco probably gave her the best one – an unbreakable glass container with the beetle form of Rita Skeeter. Tom had been the one to figure it out, but Draco had caught her buzzing around Holly's hospital wing the night of the third task. He, Luna, and Blaise were the only students allowed in to see her then, but only the last of the three had been permitted to stay more than a few minutes. Still, it'd given Draco more than enough time to not only notice Skeeter but to nab her before she could escape. Now, the reporter wasn't so much a prisoner as a guest whose best interest it was not to resist. Especially after they made some not-so-subtle threats about her illegal activities and wrangled a few promises out of her before deciding to let her go.

Life continued ever onwards during the last days of school. Somehow, Holly never managed to make an official statement to the Ministry about what had happened. No one even came to question her, and her winnings – which she ultimately gave to the Weasley twins – were handed over by Remus, who in turn had gotten them from Fudge the night of Voldemort's return. Sirius told Tonks since she was family, but she was only a junior Auror and was keeping her mouth shut anyway. In truth, it was almost like Fudge didn't care. As if he were trying to bury his head in the stand like a great, balding ostrich.

As for the other two schools, Karkaroff was long gone, fled when his Dark Mark had burned. Madame Maxime seemed tired and bit jumpy in the wake of everything, but she only smiled when Holly asked if she could speak to Fleur alone. Both of her fellow champions deserved the truth of the tournament, not to mention what had happened to them in the maze. Fleur actually hugged her afterwards and slipped Holly her address on a little piece of parchment.

Viktor, however, gave her a kiss to the cheek. His eyes were sad, but he seemed accepting more than anything. Perhaps a twinge regretful. He wished her the best but did ask if he could write. Holly agreed mostly because he was a friend and also because he was so understanding about their not-relationship. The fact that he could be a valuable ally scarcely even crossed her mind.

But as with all things, the school year soon came to an end. The departure feast on Friday was like an exercise in torture. Holly didn't eat; she couldn't. All she could see were Cedric's dead eyes staring at the ceiling. All she could hear was the sound of his voice as they went for the cup. The food was ash in her mouth, and Blaise's hand in hers was probably the only thing that kept her seated at the table. She couldn't get out of there fast enough after it was over, and that night she dreamed of Crouch Jr.'s laughter and sickly green light.

The next day, all their trunks were packed, Neville's toad was found in the first-year girls' dorm, and it was time to go home. They spent their last morning tucked away in their favourite secret room, exchanging goodbyes and well-wishes and all sorts of unvoiced promises. This was Tom's last chance to see most of them for awhile, and he was out of his diary and meandering from one person to the next. Trying and almost succeeding in seeming like he wasn't avoiding Holly.

But soon enough, it was time to head to the Entrance Hall. And Holly had her chance. Particularly since she was between him and his opened diary on the table, not to mention the fact that she was the last to leave and would be his ride home. A fact that Tom quickly realised as his eyes flickered to her, but he fiddled with his ring for a second and squared his shoulders like nothing at all was the matter and soldiered on. Holly, however, caught his wrist as he passed. His face was a mask as he turned to her, but his eyes and the whirl of his mind in her thoughts gave him away. The bite of fear and sorrow and something all too much like self-hatred.

"You're not him, you know." She gripped his arm tighter. "You're not. Voldemort... when I saw him, there was only a stranger. This madman who I didn't know at all." The girl felt him nearly spasm beneath her fingers. "But when I look at you, I only see a friend."

He just stared at her. Expression completely blank. His eyes were dark – not red, never red and not slitted.

Holly gave his wrist another squeeze and turned her hand to pat him. She smiled then, and it wasn't forced or anything but genuine.

"We'll talk later," she told him. "Just the two of us."

Tom gave a jerking nod. Unable to find the words to express his obvious relief.

"Good," Holly said with absolutely finality and held out his diary for him.

He disappeared inside with something like a ghost of a smile. Holly stroked the book once before slipping it into her pocket and heading on her way.

"Got it all settled then?" Draco asked sometime later as she slipped into the seat he'd saved her on the train between he and Blaise.

Holly, who'd been forced to share a carriage with three Gryffindor second-years, nodded as she settled in and glanced around. Like usual, Pansy and most of the girls were gossiping, while Luna seemed to be daydreaming next to them. Draco had a book out, but he wasn't reading. There was also a game of cards ongoing over by the window. Even with all that, Holly could tell that they were watching her more than their game. That pretty much went for all the others in their expanded compartment. They'd all been very aware of her lately and had watched her more than usual, as if they worried she might break and crumble into dust if they weren't looking. The only real time she'd had to herself was in the toilet or at night in her bed, but even then, they'd waited outside the loo or encouraged her to leave her curtains open.

The train chose that moment to start pulling away from the station, but no one in the compartment really seemed to be paying much attention. Between their current activities and Holly-watching, they didn't have much else to spare. Of course, if they just talked to her, it'd make things easier for everybody.

"We talked to Hermione yesterday," Holly conversationally said then. "Blaise and I did."

Draco's head whipped around so fast that his neck twinged. "When was this?"

"In the library after lunch," she responded, tone light and easy, almost luring him in.

"And you're just now telling us?" Draco questioned with a lowered eyebrow.

But he was dismissed by Milli. "Never mind that. What did she say?"

Holly shrugged, but inside, she was smiling. She knew that they were all eavesdropping and intrigued. Even Pansy over by the door who was busy changing the colour of her nails.

"Just wanted to see how I was doing."

"And?" Daphne prompted with a gesture.

"You can't just give us that," Cynthia added from beside her.

Holly felt Blaise shift on her left and give a mental nudge. "She wanted to say that she was sorry. About Cedric and the tournament."

"That was it?" Autumn inquired, using her right had to hold up her cards. The left was still intertwined with Vincent's, and neither looked to be letting go anytime soon.

"Talk about a letdown," Theo agreed. He laid down three fours, which beat Gavin's pair of nines.

"I don't even know why you bothered listening," Milli inserted from Theo's other side.

"Didn't want to be rude," Holly said, shaking her head at Greg's silent offer to deal her in. "And we'll need her help."

"You don't need anything from that snotty know-it-all," Pansy countered, which proved that she really had been paying attention.

But it was Blaise who answered, "We need all the help we can get. Even if it's from her and Ron Weasley or even all those people who were nasty to us in the past."

"So you're just going to forgive them? Granger and Weasley the sixth? Those bastards who were horrible to you this year?" Milli nearly demanded. But she wasn't really angry. Just confused.

Betrayal, after all, rarely sat well with anyone.

"For Hermione and Ron, I already have. At least some. Forgiven but not forgotten. They were just kids, and so were we," Holly responded in an even tone. "Besides, we've got bigger problems. Something awful is happening. I can feel it. We're going to need all the help we can get."

Milli simply looked at her before making a pained face. She seemed on the verge of arguing further, but she was cut off by a rather unexpected source.

"It's coming, you know," Luna inserted then, and they all turned to her. "Something wicked and looming. There've been whispers of it all year. Before that even. The stone in your first year. Then, the basilisk and the Heir of Hufflepuff. Next the Dementors. And the tournament and Holly's nightmares this year. It's all been like smoke on the horizon. A sort of forewarning. A sign of things to come. We simply didn't realise it, didn't put the puzzle pieces together correctly."

"We should've known something like this would happen," Theo agreed as he set aside his cards. "All the evidence pointed to it."

"Things are clear in hindsight," the fourth-year observed. "Light blinds, and darkness conceals."

"Both can be used to hide," Draco surmised.

"Essentially," Luna replied with a nod.

"But we have seers in our group," Pansy put in. "You and Tom and even Holly all have a talent for it. Shouldn't that have made it at least a little bit easier?"

The Ravenclaw could only shrug. "Being a seer isn't like reading a script and then knowing how the play will turn out. The future is a story that hasn't yet been written. The author, the universe foreshadows it all, but there are so many plots. So many potential paths. So many things in motion. Too many to follow or understand even partially."

Luna paused to let that sink in. She gazed at each person in the compartment but somehow seemed to see more than what was actually there. As if there were things present they couldn't discern on their own. Not even Holly or the diary-bound Tom who were gifted in their own right.

"I'm a seer, yes," she continued after a few more breaths. "But my real gift is more in seeing the truth. Reality as it is and not shaded by prejudice or opinion." She sighed then, long and deep. "But even I didn't see this."

"Maybe it's too big," Gavin suggested. "Perhaps there was simply too much to see. Too much for any one person to put it all together."

The blonde made a noise that wasn't quite agreement.

"What did you see then, Luna?" Draco asked, tone soft and distant. "I mean, if you couldn't see this, what was there?"

Luna leaned back and closed her eyes. She was quiet for so long that they almost thought her asleep, but her answer when it came seemed to echo about the compartment.

"There's a path along a cliff," she told them. "On one side, there's a steep drop. On the other, there's a blazing fire, but it can't cross onto the stones of the pathway. The road itself is narrow and uneven. Treacherous. Crumbling under foot so that you can't go back and only forward."

A breath of silence in their compartment. Just the sound of the train around them and the beating of their hearts.

"One wrong move and we fall or are burnt to a crisp," Gavin concluded after a moment.

That effectively broke the ice. They all came back to life like a clock its owner had just remembered to wind.

"Oh, how lovely," Milli cut in drolly and with a roll of her eyes.

Theo snorted. "Especially since the third option is to go down a road when we don't know where it even goes."

"Is there anything we can do?" Pansy questioned, turning her head this way and that. "Anything at all?"

"Of course, there is," Holly inserted then. "We're wizards and witches, aren't we? Magic runs in our very veins."

Luna suddenly laughed, and it was a beautiful sound. Tipping her head back as if she could stare at the sky hidden by the ceiling.

"Cunning Slytherin and clever Ravenclaw. And perhaps just Hufflepuff and brave Gryffindor will join us."

"That doesn't make any sense," Cynthia commented. "What does it even mean?" She glanced from one of them and then the next.

Luna to Milli to Theo and Gavin. Then Autumn and Vince together with Greg across from them. Daphne next to Cynthia herself and Draco on her other side. Finally to Holly and Blaise.

Holly, for her part, just smirked. "It means that we make our own damn path."

Finite Incantatem


AN: And thus the end of fourth year. It was a hell of a ride. Thanks for sticking with me. I'm going to take a break before I start posting fifth year. I have to take my boards, and I start school again. It's supposed to be the ridiculously hard year, too. Which means the next update should be towards the middle to end of November or even December. Perhaps a little earlier. Maybe a bit later. We'll see.

To everyone who reviewed: Thanks.

Chapter Fifty-Three: Child of Destiny


Ever Hopeful,

Azar

Updated and Edited:

08/08/10