Disclaimer: No, I don't own Teen Titans.
Chapter 49
Cyborg KNEW there was something wrong.
It wasn't that Robin had suggested the kids be sent away, or that Starfire was probably breaking up wth him as a direct result. It wasn't that Beast Boy had freaked out at both him, AND Raven, and that the latter might have an emotional breakdown as a result. In fact, he was hardly thinking about any of the night's events, however tense they may have been.
What Cyborg was thinking of, what bothered him more than Beast Boy's insensitive jab about him being a robot destined to be alone forever, was the hand. And the arm attached to it.
Cyborg had already tracked down the video feeds from the nearby traffic and security cams around the park. Those that survived the battle, anyway. But most of the footage was useless. Dust clouds from the dirt and rubble, the occasional cameo from a titan or a member of the Hive Five. Absolutely nothing capturing the mysterious arm Cyborg had seen through the smoke.
Now, Cyborg may have had a brain that was half computer, but that didn't mean he committed every single image he'd ever seen to his hard drive. There weren't enough terabytes to capture the infinite sights and sounds and experiences of the human condition. So Cyborg's programming had been set to pick and choose. To act as closely as possible to a normal brain. His memory was technically photographic, yes, but the images weren't kept for an eternity. He had a cycle during which the memories were cleaned, and organized, and summarized, so that he could retain only the most important, and recent, and relevant parts, just like everyone else. So, though he did remember the arm he'd seen, and was able to access a rather grainy image saved to memory from his eye cam, he was having difficulty placing it. He had a certain sense, though, that this arm was of grave importance.
But why an arm, of all things? It wasn't like Cyborg was in need of a new one. And with the level of abstraction in the image, all he could really make out was the general shape, and a glint of an orange-bronze with some darker areas, gray, or possibly black. Maybe dark blue? The external cameras had been useless in providing a cross-reference.
Cyborg scanned his work station, wondering what he could have missed. The Hive Five attacked, there were no other people except for the titans and their kids in sight, yet somehow this magical arm swooped in and interfered. Why did that seem so familiar?
He took another glance around the papers he'd gathered from the past week. Genetic test results, DNA mapping, x-rays, medical records - and then his eye caught something that, between the children's arrival and now, had seemed almost inconsequential, specifically because there was no way they could identify the necessary component of the image.
Cyborg lifted the forgotten print, a picture from their security camera, which, he noted to himself, still had to be upgraded, and pulled up the picture from his memory onto his computer screen. He held the two side by side, and his eyes widened.
There was no difference between them. The shape - even the angle of the arms and positioning of the hands were the same. But what was most obvious was the combination of shiny metal and cloth, coming together in a seamless sleeve. One working to help Marie and Ryan, the other, quite clearly, pushing them through a portal to the past.
Cyborg fell back into his chair, and looked at the print in his hand again. Was the owner of that arm a friend, then? Did they send Marie and Ryan back in time to save them? He had to assume so. Why else would the present-day arm have tried to help them? And was it the same person from the same time? Or a future person that followed them to the past, or a present person who, in the future, would go and send Marie and Ryan to past or present their time... Cyborg's eyes started spinning, and he smacked himself on the side of the head to stop his logic loop.
He stood up - he HAD to tell Robin. But, he remembered, Robin was dealing with where to send the kids. So maybe Raven, since she might be able to do some magic stuff to locate the mysterious arm...but she was pretty mad too. Plus it was her last night with Marie. Though Cyborg honestly didn't know how she felt about the separation. His bet was 50/50 when it came to her caring vs. not. Beast Boy and Star were both feeling down, and usually weren't much help when it came to research of this sort anyway.
Raven was really the best option. Especially when it came to time travel - she'd helped him get back to the present day when he was sent to the past that one time. But she had made it clear, when they were discussing it afterwards, that there was no way she would be able to find anyone in a future they were meant to be in. It was the temporal anomaly itself that had allowed her to find him, along with a bunch of other electronic signal stuff that he really didn't want to have to dig up the information for because it was irrelevant to the here and now and this crucial discovery that, now that he was thinking about it, maybe wasn't so crucial.
He sat back down.
There was nothing they were going to be able to do about it tonight, anyway. And there was no guarantee that this new information would even be helpful to their immediate situation - it could take weeks to find them, months, even. There was no way Robin was going to let them stall and hang onto Ryan and Marie until then.
Cyborg ran a hand over the back of his head and sighed.
It had been a long day. It was probably going to be an even longer one tomorrow. His information could wait. Right now, the most helpful thing he could do was get some sleep.
Cyborg put down the picture and got up from his chair, walking over to his metal bed to recharge his rapidly draining battery for the night.
/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\
"She passed out."
"So?" Beast Boy asked, eyes still glued to the screen.
"So, that means you can le-"
"SHHH!" Beast Boy batted in Raven's general direction, "this is the BEST part!"
Raven rolled her eyes.
"...you don't need to see out identifi-HEY!" Beast Boy's quoting was interrupted by a black-encased remote turning off the tv, "why'd you DO that?!"
"She's asleep," Raven gestured to the little girl curled up between them, "which means it's time for you to GO."
"But-"
"I already let you sit here and get popcorn all over my bed," Raven scowled as Beast Boy guiltily flicked a stray kernel onto the floor, "but the party's over, so get out of my room."
"Well," Beast Boy folded his arms belligerently, "Marie says it's my room too."
Raven's face grew a deep, demonic red, and Beast Boy gulped, immediately dropping his smug expression.
"Ok!" He squeaked, "I'll just, uh, get my stuff..."
Beast Boy moved to leave the bed, but something smacked into his stomach and knocked him back.
"Hey!" He cried, looking from the black band around his torso to Raven, "don't tell me to get out then not let me leave!"
"That's not me," Raven stated.
"Oh..." Beast Boy turned to the little girl and shook her shoulder gently, "hey, Marie? Can you maybe let me get up?"
Marie remained immobile, breathing deeply.
Beast Boy looked from Marie to a still-glaring Raven.
"Marie?" He tried, louder, "I really need you to wake up now..."
Marie mumbled in her sleep, and the band around Beast Boy dragged him towards her, until she was all but snuggling into his chest.
"Um...it looks like I might not be leaving after all..."
Raven raised a hand to her head and groaned. Nothing was ever easy with this child.
"Marie," Raven chastised, grabbing her arm with more force than Beast Boy had, "you can't just-"
OOMPH
Raven was dragged in the same manner Beast Boy was, uncomfortably close to Marie, and, by extension, Beast Boy.
"Hi?" Beast Boy croaked, unsure of what terrifying torture Raven was about to inflict upon him now that their faces were barely a foot apart.
At this distance, he was close enough to smell her breath...which meant she was close enough to smell his. Oh no! Beast Boy's eyes grew wide. When was the last time he'd even brushed his teeth? Maybe the chocolate made it smell sweeter? But sugar never made his breath smell good - hadn't Robin made some comment about it causing germs in your mouth or something that smelled super gross? Beast Boy was pretty sure he had. But popcorn didn't have sugar! Maybe that hid it a little?
Raven watched as Beast Boy's face contorted into various expressions of fear and anxiety, clearly stressing about something she knew was ridiculous - when the object of his terror was bodily harm caused by Raven, he always made sure to keep his eyes trained on her - not spastically darting his eyes like a madman.
"BEAST BOY," she snapped, drawing him back to the present.
"Don't kill me!" He responded automatically, shutting his eyes and flinching to avoid any black-tentacle-y trauma.
Raven rolled her eyes. Was that how her so-called-friends greeted her now? Pleading for their lives? Trigon would be proud.
"Calm down," she instructed, "as much as I hate to admit it, this isn't your fault."
"...really?" Beast Boy opened an eye.
She really wanted to say something biting, but the fact was that, since Beast Boy wasn't genetically related to Marie, and future Raven apparently wanted the kid, she couldn't exactly blame him. Raven was substantially more instrumental in the creation of the current situation than he was. But Azar, was it hard not to try and pin it on him anyway.
"I guess this is how we're spending the night then?" Beast Boy questioned the obvious, cautiously opening his other eye.
"It seems like it," Raven responded, more than a hint of irritation in her voice.
In the ensuing silence, Beast Boy tried to look anywhere but at Raven. He didn't want to see her reaction when she finally smelled him. That being said, Beast Boy was terrible with awkward silences - he had this insatiable need for there to be talking at almost all times, and this was, unfortunately, no exception.
"I..." he forced himself to look at Raven, "I bet this isn't how you saw your last night going."
"My last night?" Raven raised a brow.
"With Marie?" Beast Boy asked, incredulously, "you know, the kid that Robin's taking tomorrow?!"
"He's not taking her anywhere," Raven informed him.
"FINE, sending her away - WHATEVER!" Beast Boy dismissed the semantics, "don't you care?! AT ALL?!"
The anger he had felt before the movie had cooled to a simmer, but now, stuck next to the very person that riled him up in the first place, it was back with full force, boiling well over his usual limit.
Raven glared cooly back at him, refusing to engage.
"She NEEDS us, Raven!" He cried, "can't you SEE that?!"
"Lower your voice," Raven commanded in monotone, clearly referencing the sleeping girl Beast Boy was talking about.
"What's gonna happen when she wakes up and we're not THERE?! Or if she's awake when Robin takes her?!" He hissed, quieter than before but with no less intensity, "what's she gonna do?! She could hurt someone!"
A wave of hurt passed over Raven's face, but she was quick to conceal it, and Beast Boy was too caught up in his own emotions to notice. She had thought that he liked Marie for who she was, accepting the bad because he valued the good - just like with her. But...was this how he really saw Marie? Saw Raven? As a ticking time-bomb he felt it his duty to defuse?
Raven moved to speak, but Beast Boy didn't give her the opportunity.
"What if she misses us?" He demanded, "what if she can't sleep and she's crying for us? We wouldn't even know!"
Raven tried to speak a second time, but Beast Boy ignored her attempt.
"What if she doesn't like where Robin takes her? What if they don't have bath time there? WHAT IF THEY DON'T HAVE WAFFLES?"
Raven furrowed her brow.
"What if they're mean to her? Like, what if they yell at her? And don't give her hugs or tell her she's special or anything? They might not even have crayons or video games - how's she supposed to have any fun?! What i-"
"BEAST BOY," Raven spoke over him in a loud whisper, "she will."
"You don't know that!" Beast Boy growled, "she could-"
"I do know that," Raven interrupted, "I'll make sure she does."
"Oh yeah?" Beast Boy challenged, "how?"
"Because," Raven said, nonchallant in her response, "I'm going with her."
"Robin told you where she's going?" Beast Boy asked, genuinely curious, "where is it? Why didn't he tell the rest of us?"
"Robin didn't tell me anything."
Beast Boy's fang poked out of his downturned lips.
"Then how-"
"Robin's not sending her anywhere. I'm taking her away."
"You're...what?" Beast Boy's eyes widened.
"You see why word choice matters, now?" Raven asked dryly.
"Where...where're you taking her?"
"To Tamaran, probably. If Starfire's ok with arranging it with Galfore. I don't really want a bunch or angry soldiers threatening me when we get there."
Beast Boy's brow knit in confusion as he struggled to understand.
This was Raven. Raven. RA-VEN. The girl who had a three day mission with those superpowered kids that one time and called Robin for help, like, ten times! Or would have, anyway, if she hadn't kept getting Beast Boy instead. This was the person that still didn't like hugs. The girl that hated everything mushy. She was grossed out by boogers and dirt and stuff that kids get into ALL THE TIME. She didn't want kids. She didn't like kids. She obviously didn't like Ryan or Marie. She hadn't hung out with them by choice, like, ever. So why was she volunteering to take Marie all of a sudden?
"Are you gonna...drop her off?" He guessed, "or-"
"No," Raven shut down his question with finality, "I'm going to stay with her," Beast Boy opened his mouth, "permanently."
"But...why...?"
"Because," and this was where Raven and Beast Boy differed, because, unlike Beast Boy, whose blabbering what-ifs ended up being more about his fear for the girl's wellbeing rather than that of the environment around her, Raven's main objective was, "I can't let her destroy everything around her."
"Huh?"
"She needs someone to teach her how to control her powers. My future self clearly started working with her, but she's four. She has tantrums now, but when she gets older, she's going to have even more emotions to deal with - it's going to make things substantially more complicated. She needs someone to help her. Like I did."
"So, what, then?" Beast Boy demanded, "you're going to treat her like those stupid monks?"
"The monks of Azar were not-"
"How're you going to make sure she's HAPPY?! 'Cause you weren't!" Beast Boy stabbed, yet again, at Raven's fragile core, "how're YOU supposed to make sure Marie knows someone loves her if NO ONE'S EVER LOVED YOU?!"
Beast Boy realized too late the impact of his words, and fell silent. He started breathing more shallowly - he didn't know if hearing his loud inhales would cause Raven to finally snap. Her face was impassive, of course, but Beast Boy knew better. What he didn't know, was what was going on behind it. He usually had a pretty good guess - normally the answer was anger and debating how best to punish him - but this time? His guess was as good as anyone's.
"I thought...I thought you..the titans...I thought..." Raven said softly, looking into her pillow, "...I thought we were family..."
"I didn't mean-"
"I didn't know what it was like, for people to like me, or even want to be around me," Raven whispered, "until I met all of you. You didn't know what I was...but I knew how you'd react if you did."
"But," Beast Boy jumped at the chance for redemption, "you were wrong! Remember?"
"But I didn't know that, then. And I was just...so...different, from all of you. I didn't like being in the sun, or playing volleyball, or video games, and I was creepy," Beast Boy winced at the term he had so carelessly thrown at her in years past, "and I didn't think it was possible - why would any of you want to like me? But then you," she raised her eyes to Beast Boy, referring, for the first time, to him in specific, "and Cyborg helped me fight my father's influence, that time you broke into my room and touched my mirror."
"Yeah," Beast Boy smiled guiltily, trying to lighten the mood, "sorry about that."
"And you told me that we were friends. And for the first time...I actually believed it. And then...all of you were there for me - always. And when Trigon tried to take over, all of you tried to save me. It would have been easy for you to..." she trailed off, unwilling to verbalize what else might have been done to prevent the coming of Trigon, "...but you didn't. Because...family loves each other...and...we're family...right?"
She looked into Beast Boy's eyes, and, in a rare moment, one that Beast Boy hadn't witnessed since the day that Malchior broke her heart, Beast Boy could see beyond Raven's outer shell. Beyond the walls of stone and logic, of cement and reason, to the girl beneath. A girl whose self-worth was never shattered, because there was never any to begin with. A girl who expected to be rejected, and shunned, and feared, because of what she was. A girl who desperately, desperately wanted to be told that the only thing she'd been holding onto, the only entity that gave her worth and mirth and purpose in this world, that the titans, her family, felt the same way she did about them.
"Yeah," Beast Boy reached for her hand, and laid his white-gloved fingers on her own, "we are."
Raven smiled, for a moment. A weak one, but so rare that even so, despite its smallness, Beast Boy's was still dazzled.
He smiled back.
Raven pulled her hand away.
"So, no," Raven returned to her last point, her tone monotonous, as if the last few moments never happened, "I don't love Marie. Not yet. But, unfortunately, she's still family. And, in my experience," she smiled again, but passed it off as a smirk, "they tend to grow on you."
Beast Boy grinned, but, after a moment, the joy wore off, and his mind returned to the facts at hand.
"Wouldn't it be easier to just send Marie to Azara-"
"I thought you said you wanted her to have waffles and crayons?" Raven deflected, unwilling to discuss the possible destruction of her home dimension. She'd shared enough for one evening.
"I'm guessing they don't sell waffle mix there?" Beast Boy asked, jokingly.
"They've never even seen a waffle iron."
"Whoa."
They fell into a comfortable lull, which Beast Boy, of course, was compelled to break.
"Why do you think we decided to have another kid? If Marie was so difficult?"
"What?" Raven was not prepared for the sudden shift in conversation.
"Like, if it was that hard to get Marie to control her powers - I mean, bad enough that you had to be working with her all the time - then why would we have another one?"
"I...don't think Mark was planned, if that's what you mean. As far as getting rid of him..."
Raven swallowed. She didn't want to get into a whole discussion about her personal views when it came to unwanted pregnancies.
"...I guess I thought he deserved a fair chance," Raven offered instead, "I got one."
Just as she expected, Beast Boy didn't pick up on the nuance of her comment, and smiled, clearly attributing her "chance" as the chance her team gave her when they accepted her into their group.
"Yeah, I mean, everyone deserves a fair chance," he agreed, "but...I don't know how we'd do it, Raven," he grew serious, "I mean, you saw Ryan today, right?"
Raven nodded. How could any of them forget the child-sized Beast amongst them?
"If that's something that can be passed down...I don't know if we could...do that, you know?"
Raven did know. A Beast wielding her powers would be devastating in their attack. Especially since the Beast's only emotion seemed to be uncontrollable rage. Which was traditionally when Raven's powers were at their strongest.
"At least we know why I didn't want to tell Robin," Raven mused.
"Yeah. I don't get why I wanted to. But, I guess it's kind of like now, right?"
Raven eyes him quizzically.
"You know, since Robin's all like "the kids are a threat" and you're all "then I'm leaving with them!" Right?"
"But Robin knows-"
"Yeah, this time. All I'm saying is that you like to avoid things," Beast Boy shrugged. Then, before Raven could defend herself, added, "and I like to do things head-on! I bet I wanted to tell Robin so he'd know we weren't just, like, leaving without saying goodbye 'cause we hated everybody."
Raven noted the slight sadness in Beast Boy's face as he said his last few words, and understood the meaning behind it.
"Beast Boy, I'm not leaving because I hate anybody. I'm leaving because I have to. And I'm not exactly thrilled about it."
"But...aren't you going to miss us?" Beast Boy asked.
Raven was quiet.
"Because I'm going to miss you."
"Sure," Raven brushed off his sincere confession, "if you're really going to miss being insulted that much, I'm sure Cyborg would be happy to fill in."
"That's not what I mean," Beast Boy refused to accept her attempt to cheapen his words, "if you and Marie go away...everything's going to be different. You know?"
He looked at Raven's face, hoping for a semblance of empathy, but she refused to meet his gaze.
"If Marie's gone...who's gonna wake me up in the morning? There's no point getting up for breakfast if we can't force Robin to make us waffles."
"You can make waffles yourself."
"Duh," Beast Boy acknowledged, "but it won't be any fun. And I'm gonna have to start sleeping alone again."
"You've complained literally every time we were forced to sleep with her."
"Well, yeah," Beast Boy admitted, annoyed at her belittling, "but I'm kinda getting used to it. And who'm I gonna cream in Cart Crash?"
"It's not like you beat her now," Raven jabbed.
Beast Boy ignored her.
"It's just...it's gonna be weird without her. You know?"
"It's always hard when someone leaves," Raven offered.
"Yeah, it's gonna be hard, with Marie gone and everything," Beast Boy nodded, "but it's gonna be harder with you gone, too."
"The more people that leave, the harder it is," Raven commented.
"But it's not just people, you know? It's YOU."
"What do you mean "it's me"?"
"I mean I'm gonna miss you, Raven. Like, if you leave..." Raven waited as he searched for the right words, "what am I supposed to do? You're always saying how all I do is play video games and watch tv and play pranks and annoy people and stuff," he explained, "but you know what I spend, like half my time doing?"
Raven was positive that, with all of the other listed diversions, there was no way that math was accurate, but allowed him to continue uninterrupted.
"Thinking about you."
Raven's brow furrowed.
"W-what?"
"Like if you're not chillin' with us in the living room, and everyone else is there, I think about how you might be feeling down. And if you're there, but you're, like, meditating or reading or something, and not talking with us or making fun of me or something, I feel bad 'cause you're not being part of everything. And that time...with Malchior," he saw her wince at the name, "when you didn't come out of your room for like five days, I snuck in and spied on you because I couldn't stop wondering what was happening in there, and if you were ok, or upset, or mad at me or whatever," he admitted, "and when you ARE around, and you're just sitting there all bored and stuff, I'm always thinking of how I can make you laugh - it's like my life mission at this point," he declared in a way that made it unclear as to whether or not he was serious, "'cause when you're happy, it's awesome!" He smiled, fangs gleaming, "But when you're sad...I feel really bad. Like, I feel like I have to make you feel better - 'cause I want to, not," he added, defending himself from the idea that it was, "because Cyborg says I have to. Even when it's not totally my fault."
Raven's expression was stoic as she listened to the flurry of words that had just spewed forth from Beast Boy's mouth. Naturally, he took her silence to be an invitation to continue.
"If you're gone...I can't make sure you're gonna have someone to make sure you're included. I don't know if anyone's gonna be there to make sure you're ok. If you're sad, I'm not even gonna know. And what if no one tries to make you laugh anymore?" He asked earnestly, "how am I supposed to just not care? How am I supposed to stop thinking about you all the time?"
Raven cleared her throat, supressing the flood of emotion at his unexpectedly sincere words.
"It wouldn't be any different if you came with us, you know," she guessed, correctly, at his thought process, "you'd just have the same problems with everyone else. You'd just be thinking about Robin and Starfire and Cyborg all the time and wondering what they're doing."
"But I wouldn't be," Beast Boy insisted.
"And why not?" Raven asked, unimpressed.
"Because I'd talk to them, like, all the time. Maybe I could even play games Cy through the web! If they have that on other planets," he shifted off-topic, "I bet they do, right? I mean, if Robin can talk to people on other planets on the moni-"
"And why don't you think you'd get to talk to us? Marie's obsessed with you," she gestured to the child that was now gripping a piece of Beast Boy's uniform in her fist as she slept, "she'll definitely want to speak to you."
"But you won't," Beast Boy stated.
"I would if I had something important to say."
"Would you?" Beast Boy frowned, "it's just...you kind of remind me of her, sometimes."
"Of who?" Raven asked.
"Terra."
"I have nothing in common with-"
"You totally DO," Beast Boy insisted, "I mean, you're different 'cause, like, you'd NEVER wanna do any of the stuff she wanted to do - but you both...kind of...like being alone."
Like being alone? Raven frowned. Raven didn't like being alone...not all the time, anyway. Sometimes it was just a necessity.
"Like, when Terra had problems controlling her powers," Beast Boy continued, "she didn't let us help her. She just...ran away. I tried talking to her. I tried to get her to come back...but she didn't want to listen. And then she went...with Slade..."
He trailed off, lost in memory for a moment, before pulling himself back to the present.
"You're like that too, Raven. You never want our help. Even when you need it. If you leave...you're just gonna be...gone."
"That's not true."
"Yeah it is," Beast Boy countered miserably, "you're not really gonna let me know if something bad happens, or if you're having problems with Marie, because you think you're better off alone."
Raven shifted her eyes away.
"You never wanna hang out with me when we're in the same room. There's no way you're gonna pick up when I call from the other side of the universe, and you're definitely not gonna call me. Especially not me. Unless you just want someone to make fun of," Raven winced, "'cause I'm just a punching bag, right?"
Raven thought she saw a bead of wetness in his eyes as he shut them, but whatever was there was gone when he opened them again, and looked, defeated, into his pillow.
"For your information," she said, causing Beast Boy to look up, confused by the fact that she had chosen to respond at all, "you are a punching bag."
Beast Boy scowled.
"I know you aren't familiar with the equipment in the gym," Raven insulted mildly, referencing his continuous attempts to get out of training, "but the punching bag is what Robin uses most."
"So?"
"Do you know why?"
"Because he's a control freak and wants to smack all of us for not listening to every little thing he says but takes it out on the bag instead?" Beast Boy suggested in an irritated tone, unsure of why they were talking about his least favorite member of the team all of a sudden.
"Right...sort of," Raven ammended, "it lets him blow off steam. Robin gets frustrated pretty easily."
"Robin? No." Beast Boy's words dripped with sarcasm.
"But taking all of that out on an inatimate object lets him release his negative emotions in a non-destructive way."
"I bet the punching bag doesn't see it that way," Beast Boy huffed.
"Do you know what would happen if he didn't beat up the punching bag?"
"He'd be less buff?" Beast Boy guessed.
"He'd take it out on a criminal. Or us. He might not physically hurt us," Raven clarified, "but without an outlet, his anger would be growing inside of him, and he'd start blowing up at everyone around him," Raven said, "you've seen what he can be like to Star."
Beast Boy knew. It wasn't a secret that Starfire refused to leave the Boy Wonder alone when he was about to spit fire, and was thus usually the recipient of the most vicious verbal attacks. Beast Boy felt sorry for her.
"I...also have anger issues," Raven admitted reluctantly, though both she and Beast Boy were well aware that she did, "and punching things doesn't really do anything for me."
"Yeah..." Beast Boy wasn't sure how any of this had to do with her abandoning them, but listened nonetheless.
"But you know what does?"
Beast Boy shook his head.
"Taking it out on YOU."
"Gee, thanks," he rolled his eyes, "glad I'm just a-"
"You're not JUST anything," Raven interrupted, with more force than Beast Boy had expected, "taking my anger out on you, because you invaded my space or were being loud or any of the other irritating things you do," Beast Boy scowled at the continued insults to his person, "stops me from blowing up at civilans or criminals or whoever else gets in my way. I know you'll be ok, if I explode something in your face or fling you across the room or insult you - you're resilient, Beast Boy," she said earnestly, "and not everyone else is. You...always come back..." she trailed off, and Beast Boy waited for her to finish, "without you...I'd be..." she paused again, "uncontrollable. I'd be a monster."
"You're not a monster-"
"You know what I mean," Raven cut him off.
Beast Boy opened his mouth, but Raven shushed him with her next words.
"Of course I'm going to speak to you. Of course I'm going to call. Who else am I going to make fun of? And blow up at? And insult? And hurt? Who else is going to let me do ALL that...and still care if I'm ok?" Raven demanded, "Who else is going to bother me until I tell them what's going on? Who else is going to notice when I'm upset? Who else is going to care if I laugh? Who else is going to say EXACTLY the right thing at EXACTLY the right time so I don't break down and lose control?"
Beast Boy stared at her, wide-eyed, unsure of how to respond.
"So no, I'm not going to call all the time, and I won't always pick up when you call me, but the titans are my FAMILY. I would NEVER stop speaking to any of you. ESPECIALLY you."
And with that, Raven managed a quick turn within her black waist-band, and promptly pulled the sheet up to her chin, so Beast Boy was no longer able to see her face.
"Um...Raven?" He reached for her shoulder, unsure as to whether or not she had really said what he thought she did.
"Go to sleep, Beast Boy," she flinched away from his touch, and he returned his arm to his side of the bed.
"Ok...sorry..."
She didn't respond.
Beast Boy lay slowly back onto his own pillow, half occupied by Marie, and absentmindedly pet the girl's head.
What had Raven just said?
He turned his gaze back to her still form, his animal ears picking up on a heartbeat that was far too rapid for someone who was actually asleep.
What had she meant, exactly, when she said "especially" him? What did that MEAN? That she still needed him because he was her human punching bag? That explanation seemed to become less important as she kept talking though. After that she was saying things like "who else wants to make me laugh" and "who else even cares about me"? And those weren't very punching-bag-y things to say. Those seemed...personal. Things that Beast Boy did, instead of what she did to HIM. Things she liked. Things she liked MORE than what the other titans ever did for her.
Beast Boy grinned.
As always, he was never quite sure where he stood with Raven, but it was nice to know that, whatever he was, he was more than just a friend. He was a close friend. Maybe even a BEST friend. And for the first time, Beast Boy could see how, maybe, in some twisted totally weird and crazy and unexpected way, he and Raven might be happy together, some day.
"'Night Raven," he whispered, reaching for her shouder again and squeezing it.
"Go to sleep," she hissed, "and DON'T. TOUCH. ME."
He withdrew his hand.
Maybe in a bajillion years or so.
