Disclaimer: see chapter 1
'Ro had told them he was going hunting. That wasn't the real reason he had left. He could tell from Rubah's face that his brother knew it. The true reason he had 'gone hunting' was simple: this was too much.
He needed time for it to sink in.
This was too much.
Here he was, face-to-face with his brother. A brother who had been inseparable from. A brother that had always been with him, through thick and thin, who covered with feathers and laughed at him, but also would have a heart-to-heart with him when he needed it and watch over him to the ends of the world when he was wounded. A brother who had been his other half, his missing piece, the color of his world, the brother who was him. A brother who he had thrown against a tree for daring to call him by his real name. A brother who he had held a knife to.
He fell to his knees, fingers tangling themselves in his hair, nails biting into his scalp. A silent scream was wrenched from his throat. That was the answer. He was just a stupid, naïve, ignorant, elfling. It didn't matter that he was a warrior or a healer who could see the injuries he inflicted. It didn't matter that he had seen his mother's broken body, seen her lifeless eyes. It didn't matter that he had been a prisoner of orcs. He was ignorant. And naïve. And disgusting.
Ruthiel had been right.
He winced as he thought of his tormentor's name. That name left conflicting emotions inside him. He could remember the kind smile and warm hands of Legolas's aunt, of the ElvenPrincess. But… the other that bore that name… He could barely think of her cold eyes and frigid hands without shaking. Without breaking.
She had been right.
He didn't deserve to be saved.
He was worthless.
His family, whether Elrond's or the Foxchildren, had to carry him. He dragged them down. He couldn't do anything.
People's eyes would always flick away from Elladan or Rubah and he could see their drop like, 'oh. It's you. The worthless, incompetent failure."
Failure.
That was him.
Why was he so disgusting!?
Why couldn't he do anything right!?
He didn't deserve his brothers or sister or cousins.
He didn't deserve anything.
He rose on his own two feet, eyes flashing with anger at himself.
What was he doing!? He couldn't act like this!
The mask that all the Foxchildren had perfected slammed over his features.
Since he didn't deserve to be saved, when push came to shove, he had to be ready to save himself.
Author's Note:
What did I just do!? Sorry. Who is the other Ruthiel? You'll find out!
Sorry, it was short. It was a good ending here.
