A/N: Wow, chapter 50, I wouldn't have got here without all of you reading and following so thank you so much. I'm filling in gaps here during the time on Earth so it's unknown territory. Hopefully it fits.

Smut warning for this chapter - if you don't want to read it avoid the section in italics. I like to think it's tasteful. So on we go.


Joker sat in his chair. His eyes stared at the screens as simulations ran on the last round of tweaks on the drive core but he wasn't really seeing them. His thoughts were elsewhere. The last three months had flown by and he'd settled into a daily routine of an hour in the morning at the gym with Shepard, working on the Normandy during the day or writing reports for Anderson to pass on to the Flight Academy, then an hour in the gymnasium's heated pool. The time in the gym had become a lifeline for both of them, they had managed a few stolen kisses, the occasional lingering touch, but their afternoon swims had become extra special after EDI had recorded their sessions then looped the feed to give them some privacy. They'd been the only ones in the pool most days thanks to some organising by Vega but the first time it became their private haven surprised them all.

'What the….' James chuckled and walked over to where Joker and Shepard sat on the side of the pool, side by side, hands just touching. 'I have something you're going to like.'

Joker and Shepard looked at the message on his omnitool from EDI and they both stared up at him in surprise. He laughed at the dumbfounded looks, these were two of his favourite people but they could be idiots sometimes.

'Hey, Westmoreland,' he called to the Private whose turn it was to look after Joker today and Joker was sure she blushed as he walked towards her. 'This humidity is playing havoc with my sinuses, how about we sit in the foyer.' He led the confused woman from the pool his gaze aimed at a camera as they moved to the door. 'We can lock the door so they can't leave and no-one else can come in.'

Joker and Shepard watched him leave in stunned silence. It didn't take long for Joker to take advantage of the opportunity they'd been given and he slipped into the pool. He loved being in the water, it allowed him a freedom of movement that he normally didn't have. With gentle hands he urged Shepard to follow and pulled her against him as they moved to the deeper end of the pool.

'Make sure you thank EDI when you get back,' Shepard slipped her arms around his neck and allowed him to pull her through the water.

'Yes ma'am,' he said hoarsely, the feel of her wet, smooth skin against him aroused needs he'd fought to ignore since they'd been separated. He stopped against the wall of the pool, his feet firmly planted in the chest deep water. 'I've missed you,' he whispered and claimed her lips, tenderly at first but passion and need took over and their tongues battled for dominance.

'I've missed you too,' Shepard whispered as he kissed his way down her neck. 'Oh god! I've so missed that,' she moaned as he cupped her breasts and his thumbs circled her nipples through her swimsuit.

As thin as it was her swimsuit was an impediment that Joker quickly removed, sliding it down to her waist, following the roll of the fabric across her breasts with his lips. He was rewarded with a moan and her hips instinctively rocking into his. She met his eyes with a sly grin and he groaned as she deliberately rubbed herself against his erection. He could feel the warmth between her thighs through both their swimsuits. He braced himself against the wall as her hands found their way to his suit and rolled it down, freeing him to her touch. He hissed in a breath as her wet hand surrounded him and her lips found his.

'Ari,' he moaned into her neck as she nibbled on his ear, her hand still gently coaxing him towards an edge he wasn't ready to go over just yet. 'I need to be inside you,' he whispered and heard her gasp.

She released her hold and wrapped her thighs around him, pushing aside her swimsuit and he felt her wet heat surround him as she sheathed him completely within her. They both moaned in pure pleasure and relief, pausing for a moment to enjoy the feeling of completeness. Joker wrapped his arms around her and used the wall behind him for leverage as he slowly began to move, knowing it wouldn't take long before he tumbled over the edge. Shepard trembled around him and he knew she was close. His lips found hers and he could feel her erect nipples rubbing against his chest as he pulled her even closer. The slight change in position was all it took to send both of them into the realm of pure pleasure, oblivious to the outside world, caught up in the sensations of their bodies responding to each other.

'Shit!' Joker gasped into her neck as they held each other, slowly coming down from the euphoria they'd created.

'Yeah,' Shepard chuckled and he felt a lingering tremor of pleasure pass through her resulting in him twitching inside her and she moaned softly.

Neither wanted to move, the intimacy of their connection was something they didn't want to lose. Joker ran his hands down her back and cupped her backside, sliding his hands under her suit and loving the feel of her bare skin. He held her close as her hands slid down his chest, her fingers running over the definition that had developed further during their time on the ground. She pinched his nipple playfully and he ducked his head down to nip at hers.

'I love you, Ari,' he moved to her neck and she willingly tilted her head to allow him access.

'I love you, Jeff,' her voice was husky and Joker shivered, he felt himself harden inside her and he groaned as she moved and tightened around him. She hungrily found his lips and it didn't take long before both of them were struggling to stay upright and catch their breath again. 'I might have to keep you on rations if this is the result,' she gasped.

'That works both ways, you know,' he nipped her neck playfully and she giggled. 'I'll definitely have to thank EDI.'

Reluctantly she moved off him and straightened up her swimsuit. He watched as she moved beside him and dropped her head onto his shoulder, one hand finding his, the other hanging on to his arm. God he missed having her by his side, having her with him. How much longer was this going to go on? Eventually they climbed out of the pool and dressed, allowing themselves a last lingering kiss before knocking on the door to let James know they were ready to leave.

'Jeff,' EDI brought him out of his memories. 'There is something you should see.'

Joker took a deep breath and pulled his eyes to the screen EDI opened up. His attention was quickly grabbed by the headline that ran across the screen.

"From Hero to Villian, Commander Shepard's fall from grace."

'What is this, EDI?' He sat up in his chair.

'This is a video feed from an unknown source,' EDI was quiet for a moment, 'I am attempting to trace it.'

Joker watched in horror as someone, supposedly Shepard, shot down civilians in cold blood. The scene changed and she was seen shooting Batarians, including children. Someone was dressed in the same armour she wore but that definitely wasn't her, he knew her movements, her tactics. The locations were all missions they'd done while working under the Cerberus banner but while the locations may have been accurate the footage wasn't. Joker's omnitool beeped.

'Have you seen this?' Anderson was livid on Joker's screen.

'Looking at it now,' Joker nodded, confused and stunned by what he was seeing. 'Where did this come from?'

'I have discovered the source,' EDI spoke up. 'The feed is being carried by relay from somewhere outside the Sol system. The mission reports were taken from the Normandy databanks, prior to returning to Earth. I believe one of the crew to be responsible.'

'This is bad, isn't it?' Joker couldn't hide the worry in his voice. One of the crew had obviously lied and whether he was working for Cerberus or doing it alone it didn't matter, it was damaging.

'We could certainly have done without it,' the rage in Anderson's voice surprised Joker. 'The Defence Council is already mistrustful of anything to do with Shepard.' He paused as someone spoke in his ear. 'Damn! The Council has called an emergency session and called Shepard. We need to get this cleared up.'

'Good luck,' Joker replied as Anderson cut the connection. His heart was pounding and he wondered if their luck had run out. Then he had a thought. He brought up his omnitool and typed a message, not expecting a reply very quickly but he was surprised when one came back immediately.

'I've seen it, I'm fixing it.'

It was over an hour later when EDI brought up another piece of footage that was being broadcast across the network and Joker watched in awe as it showed the real Commander Shepard. Images from the SR-1 missions were shown, the fight against Saren and Sovereign and footage from inside the ship as it was destroyed, showing Shepard giving her life for her crew. Then came missions from the SR-2. Her rescue missions, her attempts to warn the Batarians, her speech before taking down the Collectors and her message to the Illusive Man, who was seen in all his evil as he tried to convince her to keep the Collector base intact with the human Reaper to study. Her speech to her crew, her voluntary surrender to the Alliance. Footage from the original video was shown at the end for what it was, a thrown together piece of propaganda. Following that was a message about the Reapers, that they were coming and why Shepard was needed to lead the fight.

'The truth, courtesy of the Shadow Broker.'

The footage ended and Joker couldn't stop the surge of pride that washed over him even as he grinned at Liara's showmanship. He only hoped it worked, that even if the Council didn't believe it they might doubt the original footage enough to give them pause. He had to believe it would work, he needed her back. But it was more than that, the galaxy needed her and she needed to be out there fighting, building their defences against what was coming. She was a warrior, a hero to most and she needed to be seen, to rally the troops and re-enforce the belief that they could win. He'd married one hell of a woman and he needed to tell her that.

He was trying to concentrate on the simulations without success. It was important work if the Normandy was going to be ready to fly when she was needed but his heart wasn't in it. He couldn't leave Shepard behind, he'd rather die on Earth than pilot the Normandy under another commander. This was Shepard's ship as much as it was his and there was no way it was leaving without her. His omnitool pinged.

'She needs you now. At the pool in ten.'

Joker pushed himself to his feet, 'EDI?'

'I know, Jeff,' she assured him as he left.

The ride to the pool had never seemed so long. Beside him Westmoreland was fiddling with her omnitool but the beeps and pings were purely background noise. His head was reeling with emotions, with fear and doubt. For the first time since they'd come back he seriously wondered if they were going to die on Earth when the Reapers hit, purely because some stupid officers had their heads stuck up their asses.

He was worried about Shepard. Something drastic must have happened for Vega to call him urgently and run the risk of discovery. Shepard would be devastated if Vega lost his commission because of her, because he was trying to help her. A list of possible scenarios ran through his head, each one making his stomach churn more than the one before. He pulled in a deep breath, he had to calm down, panicking wouldn't help anyone.

They arrived at the pool complex and Joker rushed inside to find Vega waiting for him. Joker wasn't sure if he was angry, disappointed or frustrated as he paced inside the doors.

'She's in the back,' Vega nodded. 'Anderson told me to get her here and make sure you got here as well,' he glanced at Westmoreland who simply nodded.

'What happened?' Joker was eager to go inside but he didn't want to go in blind.

'They stripped her of her commission, she's going to trial for crimes against the Batarians.'

'Shit!' Joker wanted to punch someone or something. Broken fingers or hands didn't seem like much compared to what he knew Shepard would be feeling. 'Thanks, Vega,' he placed his hand on the large man's shoulder before moving towards the door.

'Good luck.'

Joker simply nodded, opened the door and stepped through. It took him a few moments to find her and when he did his heart broke. She was curled up on one of the sun lounges along the edge of the room, her knees pulled up with her arms wrapped around them. Her head was resting on her knees, it was obvious she hadn't heard him come in. He made his way across the room but she still didn't move.

'Ari,' he said softly, not wanting to startle her into doing something unexpected. 'Ari,' he repeated when she didn't move.

Slowly she raised her head and he was stunned by the angry blaze in her eyes. He'd seen her angry before but this was different. There was a cacophony of emotions behind the anger, all of them fighting for control. He sat down slowly on the side of the lounge as she stared at him, it was almost as if she didn't really see him and she jumped as he touched her arm.

'Ari,' he leaned in and reached for her face.

Before he could touch her she sprung to her feet, away from him to the edge of the pool where she paced angrily, her heavy footfalls echoing around the room. She grabbed at her hair as she glared out at nothing, her breathing shallow and fast. Suddenly she screamed. It was a primal scream of frustration and despair. She kicked a chair and it clattered noisily across the floor before dropping over the side of the pool into the water.

Joker jumped in surprise and glanced across the room as Vega dashed through the door. Joker waved him back and he disappeared with a nod. He looked back to Shepard to see her hugging herself as she stood staring down into the water. Anger had given way to defeat and despondency.

'Ari,' he got to his feet and moved towards her slowly, unsure if she was aware of him.

'I should have listened to you,' she said softly, her head lifting and her eyes seeking his. 'I should never have come back. Life is going to end because I did what was supposed to be the right thing.'

Pain flared in Joker's chest as if someone had stabbed a knife into his heart. Tears burned as he looked at his wife, her face devoid of emotion, her voice haunted and her eyes empty. It terrified him to see the loss in them.

'They took away my rank, my ship and my life.' She went back to staring at the water. 'I gave up my life, literally,' she laughed but it was hollow and cold. 'I did everything they ever asked of me, I handed them Cerberus, gave them the Normandy,' she shuddered and Joker could see her trembling. 'I was separated from you. For what? They don't trust me, they don't believe me and now I'm going to trial for saving them, for giving them more time to prepare.' A sob escaped, 'it was all for nothing. I'm sorry.'

Joker moved quicker than he ever thought possible and pulled her into his arms. She didn't respond, her arms remained wrapped around herself and for a moment he was afraid she'd shut down, closed herself off. Suddenly she growled and pushed him away roughly. With a yelp he stumbled backwards, managing to keep his footing without crashing to the floor.

'You need to stay away from me, Jeff, or they'll drag you down with me.' She was angry again and for a moment Joker thought he would be unable to get through, until he saw the tears in her eyes.

'Not going to happen,' he said firmly, hurriedly moved beside her and pulled her into his chest.

He was afraid she was going to push him away again but her arms hung limply by her side. Her head dropped onto his chest and she choked back a sob. Gently he led her back to the lounge and urged her to lie with him, his arms enclosing her as she finally wrapped her arms around him. He felt dampness on his shirt and realised she was crying softly, his own tears rolled into her hair as he held her.

'It's going to be okay,' he reassured her and she scoffed. 'Anderson and Hackett will fix it.' Joker knew she didn't believe him, hell, he wasn't sure he believed him. He had to do better. 'Just think, when the Reapers land on their heads you can say "I told you so" and that will have to feel good.' He felt her fingers relax against his chest as she moved her arm.

'It won't matter will it,' she pointed out, 'if the Reapers are here there will be no-one to say it to.'

'We could steal the Normandy,' he shrugged, 'it wouldn't be the first time.'

'I'm scared, Jeff,' she sighed into his chest and Joker couldn't stop the panic that rose within.

'I know, babe,' he kissed the top of her head. 'But you have to believe everything will be all right, you have to hold on to that.'

'I don't know if I can.'

'Yes you can, we've been here before, remember when you first woke up and you weren't sure who you were?'

'You told me I didn't need a rank or a uniform to be Commander Shepard.'

'Yes I did and I still believe that, I still believe in you,' he moved so he could meet her eyes. 'I love you and I know you can get through this. I know how strong you can be, I've seen it. Now you need to show everyone else. Don't let them beat you down.'

'How?'

'Be the fighter I know you are. Treat them like any other enemy, learn their weaknesses, find the cracks. You have people fighting on your side, trust them, trust me.'

'Some fighter I am,' she scoffed, 'I'm crying on your shoulder.'

'That's just emotion and shock,' Joker smirked, 'I'm sure the chair won't recover any time soon from your boot up its ass.'

'Do you really think it will be okay?' She searched his eyes and Joker knew he had to hide his fear from her.

'Of course, how could it not be? You're Commander Shepard and you're married to the best pilot in the galaxy and our ship is almost finished.' He leaned in and kissed her lightly, 'besides, we have to christen your cabin again so you have to come back on board.'

'I have no idea why I love you,' she groaned.

'It's my sexy body and irresistible charm,' he chuckled and kissed her. 'How could you resist?'