It was easily one of the worst days of Scarlett's life.

It was a nice day, by all means. The sun seemed to shine extra brightly today, something that Scarlett would have paid little attention to normally. Today, however, she couldn't help but notice it, mostly because it just seemed wrong, inconsiderate almost. How could it possibly dare to shine today of all days? How could it dare to shine when the light of Johnny Gage had been extinguished?

Letting a small sigh escape her, Scarlett let her head rest against the cool glass of the passenger side of the car she had been badgered into. The driver in question had gotten her way as seemed the typical outcome of these things, much to Scarlett's annoyance. Said driver had also been annoyingly right about Roy coming to visit last night.

He'd shown up not much longer after Dixie had finally left, and had been just as unbearable to listen to as Scarlett figured he'd be. Unsurprisingly, Roy and Johnny's shift mates had already handled funeral arrangements, of course leaving her out of everything. Not that it mattered, she supposed. What was one more thing to be left out of?

Even so, the anger she held for Roy had threatened to overcome her the longer he talked. Scarlett knew she was close to finally snapping when Roy had decided to leave and she wondered if maybe he knew it too.

Now, here she was, stuck with yet another person she didn't exactly care for, heading into one of the worst days of her life. Where she would, undoubtedly, encounter more people she didn't exactly care for, all while mourning the loss of the one person she did actually like. Like was a major understatement, but regardless, she didn't want to face this day. She didn't want to face it at all.

Finally arriving at the desired location, the funeral home, Scarlett tried to mentally prepare herself for all that was to come. Under no circumstance did she want to cry here or at the actual funeral, no matter how horribly painful this was to deal with. Last thing she wanted was to have Dixie or even Roy think it was their place to have to comfort her nor did she want their comfort.

As they entered, it was quickly apparent how treasured and loved Johnny was by his friends and fellow firefighters. Tons of people she'd never seen before stood around in fancy uniforms, which Scarlett assumed were their dress uniforms, having never actually seen Johnny in them himself. Without intentionally looking for him, she spotted Roy next to the head of the casket talking to some people. Of course he'd be there, of course he'd essentially be acting as though he was Johnny's family. It wasn't surprising, but still she felt the flames of jealousy and pure, raw, anger well up inside of her.

Even so, as much as Scarlett hated Roy, she knew there was nothing she could do. It was obvious that Roy, nor anyone else, considered her to be part of Johnny's family. No, his family, his true family, were every single one of the many firefighters lingering around to say their goodbyes to a fallen brother. She was just the poor unfortunate girlfriend. Thus completely unimportant since they hadn't been married.

It was a weird concept to grasp because she certainly felt widowed, though not technically being married to him. However, legally she was nothing to him, and she wasn't sure what hurt the most about that.

Finding herself being silently guided by Dixie over to the casket, Scarlett suddenly realized they'd been standing in the line, slowly moving towards the open casket... And Roy.

"Hey Dix," Roy greeted them. "Scarlett."

Scarlett simply ignored his greeting as she approached the casket, the casket which now held all of her dead hopes and dreams, and peered in. Inside, dressed in the same dress uniforms all the other firefighters sported, lay the waxy looking figure of Johnny. Scarlett had been to wakes, and funerals, before but seeing him now was something that she was still completely unprepared for.

By all accounts, Johnny looked wholly peaceful. His eyes were shut in death, his arms folded neatly across his chest, and if you squinted just enough you'd believe he was just sleeping. The squinting part was important, otherwise the odd unnatural look of his appearance would surely give away how much this wasn't sleep.

Reaching out, she stroked his cold cheek, before moving to run her fingers through his thick dark hair. There was something almost comforting about it as his hair still felt relatively the same, unlike everything else.

"Johnny, I -," Scarlett murmured to his still form, knowing this was truly the last time she'd ever see him, or rather his body. "I love you... And I won't say goodbye to you."

"I - I can't... I can't bear that.. I - God, Johnny, this isn't how this was supposed to be. You're not supposed to be gone. We were supposed to get married, be together forever, raise our baby... You're supposed to be here and this... This is so wrong."

"Also, your hair is brushed." Scarlett let herself giggle, wiping away the few tears that had dared to escape. "You'd hate that."

"But like I said," She quickly glanced over to Dixie and Roy, who had moved back a bit to give her space, before returning her attention to Johnny. "I won't say goodbye to you, I refuse to do that. We'll meet again someday, Johnny and... I hope you rest peacefully. You deserve it. Life is hell."

Next was the service and Scarlett largely tuned it out, all the words just flowing together in her mind. It wasn't until the Fire Chief, Roy, their captain, and even Doctor Brackett had been allowed to speak that she tuned back in. One by one, firefighter after firefighter, she listened sadly as each one spoke.

At one point, she wanted to stand as well, but Dixie grabbed her arm, silently shaking her head. Of course she wouldn't be allowed to speak, why would she be? Feeling the familiar flames of anger consuming her, she shot a glare at Roy, who was seated in the front of the center section of seats. If anything was completely fucked up, it was this.

However, Scarlett didn't have much time to dwell on it as it was now time for the procession and subsequent burial. Quietly, she watched as Roy and the rest of Johnny's shift mates, Chet included, hauled the now closed casket to the Engine. Never having been to a firefighter funeral before, this surprised her, but also made her heart hurt worse than it already had been.

It was Johnny's last ride and she was in no way prepared for it.