Chapter 51 Adventures in the Quotidian
Sia and Loki have a weekend on Midgard to themselves. Sia takes Loki on a Midgardian adventure—to the grocery store!
Loki learns about some of the questionable things that pass for food on Midgard, and also about baking brownies.
And some things about Sia's past.
I hadn't wanted to deal with SHIELD, or setting up an escort from the beach location, so we simply touched down in my back yard. While the neighbors would definitely notice, it was San Francisco, and I doubted that anyone would be overly bothered. Curious, perhaps, but not so much as to actually venture over to find out what the burst of lights had been. We'd all been neighbors for years, and while we were pleasantly social, unless something was obviously wrong, we let each other be for the most part.
Loki turned on the lights inside the house from the back yard, and waited patiently as I pulled out my keys. I appreciated that he was respectful of the boundary, and waited for me to open the door, instead of unlocking it with magic.
We stopped in the kitchen, and Loki did a scan of the house. "I do not detect any other presence, but let's just be sure." He set down the duffle bag.
I nodded, and followed him as quietly as I could.
Loki checked each room: under the furniture, behind the doors, behind the curtains, and tested the windows, all of which were securely locked.
"Oh, look. We have somehow ended up in the bedroom." Loki grinned at me.
"Oh, my goodness. How did that happen?" I replied, attempting a deadpan tone.
"The Fates have decreed it, clearly." Loki leaned down for a kiss, taking me in his arms.
"Clearly!" I melted into his arms, glad to be home, and glad to have Loki here with me.
I woke, ravenous and in need of coffee. I sat up to ring the bell for Sóldís, and was confused when I didn't find the pullcord next to the bed.
Oh, right. You're back on Midgard, Sia. There is no pullcord, and no Sóldís.
I could hear Loki, breathing next to me in bed.
There is, however, this wonderful man.
I thanked whoever was listening for being able to start my day in the comfort of my own bed, in my own home, with the man I love at my side.
The room was solidly dark, thanks to the blackout curtains on the window, so there was no way to tell what time it might be from the light at the windows. Steeling myself, I turned the alarm clock to face me. 11:30 AM.
No wonder I'm hungry. We haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday!
I decided to let Loki sleep, to give me a chance to see what might be in the kitchen that could become brunch. I pulled on pajamas and slippers, and headed to the kitchen.
Where the answer was "not much". I hadn't been home from New York long enough to re-provision before leaving for Asgard, and last night had not included time for anything as ordinary as grocery shopping.
I decided I would put on clothes and do the shopping while Loki slept in, and just be done with it, so we could spend the rest of the weekend in front of the fire.
I slipped back into the bedroom to dress, and found Loki awake.
"Good morning, my love!" Loki beamed at me from the bed.
"Good morning, my darling! I hope you slept well!"
"I did, indeed, Sia. I always sleep better next to you."
My heart melted. How was it possible that this wonderful man loved me so much?
"As do I next to you, my love!"
He yawned. "What shall we do today?"
"There's almost nothing in the house to eat. I thought I would go to the store while you were still sleeping, and then we don't have to go out again the rest of the weekend, unless we want to."
"I will come with you, Sia!" Loki perked up.
I laughed, both because he was so adorable, and because I doubted he had the first idea about buying food. "If you wish, Loki! Have you actually shopped for groceries before?"
"Not exactly. I've been to the markets in Asgard, and seen the sellers' stalls filled with fruits and foods. I haven't actually selected any items. But you could teach me! And then I can go with the household staff to the market, and assist them in procuring items for the royal table!"
We both laughed. I tried to imagine Odin's face when he learned Loki had gone to the market with the servants to buy produce. Or the look on the seller's face when they realize they just sold a bushel of apples to one of the royal princes.
"Let's get dressed, and I'll drive."
"You must teach me to drive your vehicle, Sia!" Loki looked at me, excited as a child on their birthday. "Then I can take you where you need to go!"
"One thing at a time, Loki." I tried to imagine Loki at the Department of Motor Vehicles with a convincingly real mortal birth certificate, taking the driver's test. "First, let's find some food."
Parking at the store was always hellish—the parking lot was far too small for the size of the market—and twice as bad on Saturday. I'd forgotten that, in all the months of having SHIELD, and then Jarvis, handle this particular task for me, and was startled to realize once again how out of touch with daily life I had become.
Well, nothing to do but do it.
"I don't usually come to the store on Saturday, Loki—it's terribly crowded, and the check out line will be quite long, so we'll both need to be extra-patient."
Loki kissed me. "I am with you, and as long as no one bothers you, I shall not be bothered by anyone."
Oh, boy. That's a tall order for Saturday at the store.
"With this many people, trying to use a cart will be an unnecessary annoyance. If we each have a basket, that will do." I handed him one of the plastic baskets, which he took with his usual grace.
How does he do that? Even the most mundane act is elegant.
"Practice, my love! Practice!" Loki grinned, and kissed me.
I shook my head. "Alright, Prince Practice, let's go find some food."
I turned to head to the second aisle, as there was nothing in the first aisle on the list.
Loki looked at me, somewhat confused. "Are we not going to see what's in that one?"
"I know what's there, Loki, and we don't need anything from it."
His face fell a bit. "But I don't know what's there. And there might be something we want."
In spite of myself, I smiled. "Of course, darling. We can walk all the aisles, and if you see anything that looks tempting, just add it to the basket. A few extra treats won't hurt anything!"
One hour and twelve minutes later, having walked each aisle twice (up one side, and back down the other, so Loki could properly see everything), we joined the queue for the cash register.
With five baskets.
Loki had delighted in the packages, trying to guess what was inside based on the photos on the labels. I steered him away from some of the things he wanted to try (lychee is not meant for human consumption), and agreed to a few things that I figured he would not like, but was willing to let him experience, just once (which is more than enough for Cheez Whiz—but he was so intrigued by the idea of cheese in a spray can, I couldn't refuse).
"Sia! Good to see you!" The checker, Joe, had been at the store since before I'd begun shopping there when I moved to the neighborhood all those years ago.
"Joe! How are you?"
I felt Loki bristle.
"I'm good, Sia! I'm always good, you know that! But where you have you been? I haven't seen you in ages. I thought you'd moved, or something."
I took Loki's hand, sending him soothing energies.
"I've been traveling, Joe! But I'm home for a while now, so need to stock up."
"Yeah, I can see that!" He nodded at Loki. "Good thing you have this big strong guy to carry all of this for you!"
I froze. Right. I need to introduce Loki. I hadn't thought this through at all. Quick, Sia. Think of something.
"Joe, this is my friend, Luca. He's a professor from one of the Icelandic universities. He's here briefly to do some research." I smiled brightly at Loki. "Luca, this is Joe. He's worked at this store since—well, a long time."
Loki relaxed a bit. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Joe." Loki stilted his words, in a perfect Icelandic accent.
"It's nice to meet one of Sia's friends! She doesn't come in here with anyone, so I thought she was just making them up." Joe smiled at me, teasing.
"Now, Joe," I pretended to scold him, "stop that! You're making me look bad to my colleague here."
"I could never think badly of you, Professor Sia. I have the utmost respect for you, my colleague." Loki continued with the Icelandic accent, and it was all I could do to keep from laughing. I pulled out one of my canvas bags from the big bag full of bags, and focused on stashing the items as they came down the conveyor to keep myself together.
Joe laughed. "I like this guy, Sia! You should bring him here more often!"
Loki smiled, and replied with his outrageous accent, "I will be here quite often, Mr. Joe. The Professor is helping me with my English, and teaching me all about life in your world."
I pretended to cough, because I was perilously close to losing what was left of my composure. "I'll be sure to bring Luca around next time he visits, Joe!"
I paid quickly, and Loki finished packing everything.
"Thanks again, Joe! See you soon!"
"Take care, Sia! Nice to meet you, Luca!" Joe waved back.
If Joe thought it was odd that Loki was carrying only one bag for all of the things we bought, he didn't say anything, and we made our escape.
Lunch, and a long nap afterwards, filled the afternoon. I awoke near dark, alone in the bed. I heard the shower running, and realized that I desperately needed a shower as well. I decided to wait until Loki finished, as the Victorian-era shower was not really built for two.
Loki eventually emerged, wrapped in his green velvet dressing gown. I allowed myself to enjoy the sight.
"Sia, you're awake!" Loki's smile lit the room.
"Yes, my love! And now I am going to get clean." I rose from the bed and headed for the bathroom.
"I could scrub your back . . . ."
I kissed him. "Later. I must get clean. I am unfit for human habitation."
Loki chuckled, and nibbled on my neck. "Not even close. And quite fit for consumption . . ."
"Loki, really. I can't stand myself." I kissed him, and removed myself from his grip.
"Later is not that long from now!" Loki called as I closed the bathroom door.
Restored to a more human state, I put on clean clothes, and headed downstairs. I found Loki in the kitchen, with several packages on the counter.
"These are . . . abominable." Loki held up the bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. "Do people actually enjoy eating these?"
I laughed. "Yes, Loki, they do. They like the salt, or something. I don't know." I reached for the bag, and shook it. "They can't be that bad—the bag is half-empty."
"I had to confirm that they were as awful as they seemed at first." Loki grinned sheepishly. "They are awful, but somehow, I feel like I want to eat them all."
"I would advise against it—even with your superior physical being, eating the entire bag at once would have adverse effects."
Loki nodded. "So, what do we do with them, if we can't eat them?"
"That's what the compost bin is for!" I dropped a new liner into the bin, and dumped the rest of the chips into it.
"And then what happens?" Loki stared at the bin.
"When we clean up from supper, we seal the liner, and drop the bag into the main bin in the garage."
"And then?"
"Once a week, the city sends a truck by to pick up all the refuse."
"And then?"
"The compost goes to a processing plant, where it's treated and left to sit until it becomes suitable as a soil enrichment. It's sold to farmers and gardeners."
"Who then grow food, which we eat part of, and then goes back into the compost bin, and back to the processing plant."
"Yes."
"That's rather efficient, and surprisingly clever, for Midgard."
I shrugged. "We have our moments."
Loki picked up the Cheez Whiz. "This is not one of those moments."
I laughed. "Oh, my god, not even close."
"I thought it would be a useful way to make cheese easy to transport. But this—this is not cheese."
"Not even close! If you look at the label, it clearly states that it's a 'cheese culture product'."
"There's nothing remotely cultured about this." Loki went to drop it into the compost bin.
"The can goes into the recycling bin."
Loki stared at me. "How do you keep track of all of this?"
"I'm a San Franciscan. Recycling is our religion."
Loki continued to stare. "Religion?"
Right. Some jokes don't translate into other realms.
"It's a joke. San Francisco was one of the first cities to establish a comprehensive recycling program. Don't worry about it—just trust me that it's funny, and it's not really a religion."
Loki nodded, and dropped the can into the recycling bin.
"Are you actually hungry, or have you killed your appetite with the plethora of non-food items on the counter?"
Loki grinned. "Some real food would be preferable at this point. I am surprised you agreed to purchasing all of these things."
I laughed. "How could I say no, when you asked so nicely? And you needed to find out for yourself just how terrible some of them really are."
With supper finished and cleaned up, I decided that what we really needed was a batch of brownies. Out came a box of brownie mix, because life is too short to make brownies from scratch. Or, at least, my life is.
I walked Loki through adding the ingredients, and stirring the batter gently, exactly 50 strokes, no more, no less.
I left the oven light on, and we watched the brownies bake.
"I had never quite appreciated the alchemical nature of cooking before, Sia!"
"I don't imagine you were allowed in the kitchens too often, Loki."
He shook his head. "Not at all! That didn't prevent us from going there, especially on days when baking was being done. But we never actually saw the process of preparing the food—we enjoyed the results, but I did not realize how much work it takes to feed people every day."
"I don't usually cook this much, Loki. I'm only doing it because you're here."
"But surely you must eat each day?"
"I do! But a lot of the time, I either do something simple, or else go out. Cooking for one is just as much work, and isn't nearly as much fun."
"I am surprised that you do not make use of a cook or other servants, then."
"Loki, Midgard is different from Asgard. For one, hiring people is expensive. And then you have someone in your home, and I don't like the idea of having a lot of people milling about all the time."
Loki shook his head. "But you have no problem with it at the palace in Asgard."
"Of course not—that's how things are done there. And it's much larger. Imagine having a whole household staff here! They'd be tripping over each other all the time!" I laughed at the idea of a cadre of servants all milling about my small home.
Loki frowned. "Then we should get you a larger house, so you can have servants to take care of you, and still have your privacy."
"Loki, this house is plenty large enough for me, and it's what I can afford. I don't need a bigger place, even if I could afford one. I'm not wild about having to do all the domestic chores, but I don't need a bunch of servants."
Loki grew serious. "I could arrange for a larger house, and servants for you."
Danger, Will Robinson!
I chose my words carefully. "I appreciate the thought, my love, but really. I like my little house, and it's quite suitable for my lifestyle."
"But you have to spend so much time on things that aren't worth your time! You could be reading, or writing, or doing your art, or practicing your magic. Washing dishes is not a good use of your time."
"It's not that much time, and it needs to be done."
"It can be done by someone else, and you can have that much more time for your work, and for yourself. I don't know how much things cost on Midgard, but I can't imagine that it's so much that I could not take care of it for you."
"Loki, that is a sweet and generous offer, and I have no doubt you could make it happen without noticing the slightest dent in your reserves. But really, darling, my life is fine as it is. I don't need a larger home, I don't need a flock of servants."
I could see Loki processing my words, trying to make sense of them.
"If everything is fine, then I should not disturb you as much as I do. If my visits will be an intrusion, I will not come as often as I had planned."
"Darling, please! That's not what I meant at all. I am happy to make as much time for you, for us, as we can possibly have. But when you are not here, I need my life to be something that I can manage on my own, without having to depend on anyone else."
"Do you not trust me to provide for you, Sia?" I could feel him withdraw into himself.
"Loki, I love you, and I trust you with my heart, my life, my soul. I have every reason to believe that you would provide for me as you committed to do so. However, I need you to understand that it is important to me that I provide for myself, and live within the means I am able to create on my own."
I remembered the prior day's conversation with Odin. I wondered if Loki had been lectured by Odin on this very subject earlier in the week, and how long Loki had been considering this idea.
"But you could have more, and I want to give you more." Loki's distress came through in his voice.
"What I want more of, Loki, is time. However, I am merely mortal, and there is only so much time allotted to me. Let us enjoy the time we have, and focus on that, rather than on the particular circumstances of my living situation."
"I want you to be happy, and comfortable, and safe, Sia."
"I am happy with you, Loki. I am comfortable in my home, and as safe as anyone can be in this world. Should things ever change, and I come to a point where I need your assistance or support with my home or my life, I promise you, I will ask."
"Truly, Sia?" Loki's worry wrinkled his forehead.
"Truly, Loki." I kissed him, soothing his brow. "I love you, and I will keep nothing hidden from you."
"I love you so much, Sia." Loki wrapped his arms around me. "You are everything to me."
As if on cue, the oven timer began chiming.
"I love you, darling, but that sounds means we have to take the brownies out of the oven now".
"Right now?"
"Right now."
"Alright." Loki released his hold on me, and I grabbed the oven mitts.
"Here, you may do the honors!" I handed him the oven mitts, and showed him how to put them on.
The heavenly scent of warm chocolate wafted out the instant Loki opened the oven door. He carefully pulled out the pan, and set it on the trivet.
"Now, we'll pull the ice cream out of the freezer to soften. By the time it's ready, the brownies will be cool enough to cut and eat."
"You know so much, Sia!" Loki looked at me with admiration. "You would do quite well, running a household."
I shook my head. "I appreciate your confidence, my love, but the idea of managing an entire palace sounds like more than I would enjoy doing."
Loki grinned. "You wouldn't want to organize a feast for 500 guests on a regular basis?"
I laughed. "Not even once!"
Loki's grin did not fade. "You won't know until you've tried it!"
I shook my head. "I organized a wedding for 200 guests. That's as close as I care to come to that sort of thing."
"Two hundred guests? That seems small."
"By Asgardian standards, perhaps. But 200 guests is a lot on Midgard, especially when you have to pay to feed each of them, as well as buy champagne, and a large cake."
"I imagine the wedding went perfectly, since you were organizing it."
"It was wonderful! Just a shame about the groom."
Loki froze. "What happened to him?"
I laughed. "Nothing happened to him at the wedding, Loki. That went fine. But he turned out to be a terrible choice of husband."
"This was your wedding, Sia?" Loki's surprise showed on his face.
"Yes, Loki. I told you that I'd been married once before."
"Yes, you did. I just never thought about you actually being married to—to someone else."
"It was a long time ago, Loki, and it ended badly. There is nothing for you to worry about."
"What happened, Sia? Why was he a 'terrible choice'?"
"Everything seemed fine until we married. He was focused on his career, as I was focused on mine, so there was no friction about my working long hours and being home at odd times. He didn't even mind that I made more money than he did. He said he was proud of me for that."
I hadn't thought about my ex-husband in years, and it felt strange to suddenly be remembering that relationship.
"We seemed compatible enough, and I felt affection for him. Not deeply in love, but s reasonable arrangement and a workable commitment."
"Did he love you?"
"He said he did, but . . . his actions spoke otherwise. He started spending too much money, and we went through a tough time. He swore he'd changed, and he was making progress on paying things off. It was slow going, but he seemed to be doing all the right things."
I remembered how difficult that year had been, with every penny he made going to pay off the huge credit card debts he'd run up, with no money left for anything, even with me picking up all of the household expenses.
"Then, one day, I was home sick, and he'd gone off to work. When the mail came, I got out of bed to check it. And there was a bill from a credit card that he said had been paid off. When he came home, I handed him the bill, and told him to open it."
I suddenly could see my ex's face, his soapy smile, attempting to convince me that everything was fine.
"He said he was sure it was a mistake, and he'd deal with it tomorrow. I told him to open it and let me see it, or to get out."
"That was brave, Sia."
"It wasn't brave, Loki. It was rage. I knew as soon as I saw that envelope that he'd been lying about paying his debts, and I wondered what else he'd been lying about."
"That wasn't the only thing?"
"Not even close. He opened the bill, looked it over, and then handed it to me. It was filled with charges for restaurants, flowers, jewelry, and hotels. He'd been seeing someone behind my back, and had continued running up the card to pay for meeting with her."
"Oh, Sia. I am so sorry, my darling."
An anger I thought I'd resolved years ago washed over me. "I told him to give me his house keys and get out. He tried to argue that he needed to pack, and I told him to ask his girlfriend to buy him clothes. He stared at me, then pulled his keys out of his pocket, set them on the table, and walked out."
"Hearing the door close behind him, I thought my life was over. I sat on the couch and cried for an hour. Then I realized that my life had actually begun again. Unencumbered by his debts and the negative energies of the relationship, I would be able to re-create my life the way I wanted it to be. I popped open a bottle of champagne, turned up the stereo, and danced around the apartment for an hour, I was so happy and relieved."
"I found a new apartment and moved the next week. My attorney contacted him, arranged for service of the divorce papers, and told him he had until the end of the month to vacate the apartment, or the landlord would dispose of his belongings."
"And did he collect his things?"
"I have no idea, and I don't care. I somehow doubt it, though—taking responsibility was not his strong suit."
Loki pulled me to him. "My love, I am so sorry this awful man hurt you so badly."
"Thank you, Loki. It's in the past, and I'm over it. I'm sorry, I really don't know why I'm even talking about it."
"I brought it up. I'm sorry, darling."
"Thank you, Loki. It's alright, this time. I guess I should have told you all of this earlier. It just didn't seem important, because it was so long ago. My life is so very different now. I pulled my life back together, I got hired at the university, I was able to buy this place, and I don't have to deal with him, ever again."
"I am quite proud of you, Sia, for accomplishing all of this on your own, and in spite of the difficulties you had earlier."
"Thank you, my love. It wasn't easy. Before I got hired at the university here, I was struggling so much to make ends meet and to get somewhere with my career. I'd even looked at applying for jobs at universities in places I didn't want to live, because I really wanted to be a college professor, and it just wasn't happening here."
"But you did it, Sia! Your own hard work and intelligence and determination brought you here. I do hope you give yourself sufficient credit for all of that."
"Sometimes I do. Most of the time, I am just so busy living this life I've created, I don't really think about it. And I guess that just reinforces how fortunate I am—I don't have to think about, I can just enjoy my life."
I suddenly remembered the ice cream, sitting in the sink to soften, sure it would be a puddle of goo at this point.
"Loki, I've been talking so much, I forgot about the ice cream!" I raced over to the sink. Fortunately, the ice cream had been frozen like a rock, and was just approaching the correct softness for scooping.
"Well, that worked out! And now I'll teach you to scoop ice cream!"
