Chapter 52
Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock or anything.
Author's note: I am so so so so so sorry for the delay on this! I've been busy with a few things. 1.) working. 2.) trying to sort out everything for University, which I have just enrolled into! And 3.) having a touch of writer's block, if I'm honest.
When I get my uni schedule I will try to organise more of a regular timetable for updating this fic.
Can I ask you guys a favour, has anyone got any ideas they'd like me to do? Like a little prompt for the next chapter that you guys want? I won't say for sure I will do it, but it may inspire me and hopefully get a chapter up quicker, and that'd be great!
So yeah, drop me a PM or review, tell me what you think of the new chapter, and share any idas you have of a future chapter.
Just to say, I do know whats going to happen at some points of this fic, it's just getting Hamish older and filling the time between that which I need a little help with.
So yeah, please help! Thank you! xxx
Things instantly became easier at school for Hamish once Jessie stopped bullying him, everyone else eased off and he was able to return to being quite happy in his school life, which both Hamish and his parents were glad of, Hamish's happy moods became more frequent because he was under less stress.
But Sherlock Holmes wasn't one to help with a teenager's mood swings, and while John was happy with the harmony in 221B as Hamish sat texting his friend on his armchair and Sherlock was in the kitchen staring down a microscope, he sat contently on the sofa with a cup of tea and a newspaper, enjoying the silence from the other two and happy in their family bubble.
"John." Sherlock interrupted the moment.
"Mmm?" John hummed, not wanting to leave his moment of contentment.
"John!?" Sherlock said more sharply, wanting his husband's full attention.
John put his newspaper down and said "What?", looking straight at his husband while Hamish's eyes flickered up once from his phone screen to watch his parents, then back down again to continue texting.
"Could I have a bit of your semen please?" Sherlock asked like it was a very ordinary, decent thing to ask.
"Sherlock!" John exclaimed.
"What?" Sherlock asked innocently.
"Our son is right there! Right sat there! He just heard you say that!" John was blushing.
"Oh, don't be silly, my love, I'm not asking for it in a sexual manner, merely scientific. You see, I wanted to compare our semen to Hamish's." Sherlock explained.
This had Hamish away from his phone in a split second "My what!? You can't have my semen! I'm not giving you my semen! Tell him, dad!" Hamish shouted in annoyance.
"Yes, Sherlock, I draw the line at this experiment, it's too weird." John said.
"Firstly, I don't think it's as weird as the foot in the microwave one, and you still let me do that. And secondly, you used to be so enthusiastic about my experiments, Hamish! What happened to that little boy who was quite happy to spit on my petri dish in the name of science?" Sherlock pouted.
"You're not asking me to spit this time though!" The thirteen year old said indignantly.
"I'm not asking you to do anything! I already have a selection of your semen." Sherlock said.
"Sherlock Holmes!" "Papa!" John and Hamish shouted in unison.
"Don't be so silly, you two! And Hamish, if you didn't want me to experiment with your fluids then do not masturbate in the shower then leave your semen on the walls." Sherlock said.
Hamish was blushing a deeper red then John had ever seen him go "I… I don't do that… I…" he ran up to his room in sheer embarrassment.
"Well thank you very much, Sherlock! Thank you for ruining the harmony we had in our house! I think it only lasted five seconds!" John shouted and stood up.
"So can I have some of your semen, John? I want to compare ours to his and see the similarities and differences. It's the same as the spit experiment, but with a different bodily fluid." Sherlock said.
"No you cannot have any of my semen! For science or for pleasure later!" John scowled and began walking towards the stairs to comfort Hamish.
"What!? No pleasure? But John! That's not fair!" Sherlock exclaimed.
"My tea will be cold before this situation is dealt with, that's not fair either, but that's life." John said finally and went upstairs, leaving a very grumpy husband with three petri dishes and only two ready to look at under the microscope.
CUT!
Hamish had his head buried in his pillow when there was a quiet knock at his door.
"Can I come in, soldier?" John asked, poking his head round the door.
Hamish took his head out of his pillow and sat up against his headboard, hugging his pillow now. He nodded and John walked in properly and sat next to him on the bed.
"I don't… I mean… I do… but…" Hamish blushed then sighed in exasperation.
"You don't have to explain yourself. You're a thirteen year old boy, it's perfectly acceptable that you should occasionally need to masturbate. I certainly wanked a lot in my teenagehood, I won't lie." John chuckled.
"Yeah but… papa just told everyone like it wasn't the most embarrassing thing anyone could say in front of the person who… does it." Hamish explained.
"I know. I know it was embarrassing. But to be honest we both knew you did it anyway. It wasn't news to me, and of course it wouldn't be news to him, he knows everything." John nudged Hamish's arm supportively.
"How did you know? I thought the shower would wash it away so there wouldn't be… evidence." Hamish said.
"Well, the shower is right across the hall from our bedroom, and the walls are thin." John said.
"You heard me!?" Hamish was utterly mortified.
John laughed "Kind of difficult not to hear you, mate. But stop worrying about it, okay? We're all men in this house. Hell, I've been in the army, if I had a penny for every time I walked into the shower room and found a guy wanking I would be quite a rich man. It's normal. For men and women. It's just part of life and sex. Not that it's okay if you have sex yet, no way, you are underage and not ready, do you understand me?" John changed his tune rather quickly, making Hamish giggle "I know, dad, I know."
John stopped his rant and smiled "So just relax, okay? And maybe next time you need to… sort yourself out, try and be quieter and maybe give the walls a bit of a wash after, because I have to clean that bathroom, and I'll be honest, it isn't fun washing your son's spunk off the walls."
"I'll relax… and be a bit more discreet." Hamish nodded "But papa doesn't seem to care about experimenting on his son's spunk."
"Well he wouldn't. I have literally seen that man go around a park and pick up dog shit to experiment on at home." John said.
"Dog poo!?" Hamish made a disgusted expression.
"Yes. He slept on the sofa for a week for that because he made quite a mess and put me right off my dinner." John said.
"I could imagine so!" Hamish said.
"This was well before you came along though, he doesn't bring anything that could cause you illnesses into the house now. Which I'm glad for. Plus, I don't have to banish him to the sofa as much, so I don't have a cold bed, which I love." John smiled.
Hamish grinned and leant into John's side "Thanks for making me feel better, dad. I thought I'd never be able to look at either of you in the eye again!"
John laughed and pressed a kiss to Hamish's head and said "No problem. Just remember, discretion is key."
Hamish nodded and went back to texting George, this time about his mortifying moment, while John went back downstairs only to be stopped when he noticed Sherlock in their bedroom going through the dirty washing basket.
"What are you doing?" John asked, leaning against the door frame.
Sherlock looked up and sighed dreamily "The things you do to me when you lean against door frames like that…. Oh my sexy husband…"
"I'm flattered, as always. But stop changing the subject please." John requested.
"Fine. I'm looking for some of your dirty underwear in hopes I can get some of your semen." Sherlock said "Do you know if the pair you wore last Saturday night has been washed yet? The blue boxer briefs with the thin red stripes? Your bum looked great in them and I couldn't resist, they should have some semen on them from our little… escapade…"
John sighed "They've been washed… but you can have some of my semen now." Sherlock's face lit up "But!" John held his finger up to stop Sherlock before he got too excited "You are doing the washing and cooking us dinner tonight." John bargained.
"Fine, I'll do that. But can I just say, you're acting like this is a huge sacrifice, when really this'll be a win-win for you. I'll stop going on at you and be occupied with my studies into this experiment, and you get an orgasm!" Sherlock said.
John shrugged "Yeah but you annoyed Hamish and my tea is cold."
"I accept that. But… you didn't mean what you said earlier about me not getting any more action from you, sexually, did you?" Sherlock checked.
"No. But if one more cup of my tea goes cold today I may reconsider." John jokingly warned.
Sherlock smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his husband's lips "Love you."
"Love you too." John smiled.
