A/N: Okay, here is some payoff. Yes, there will be a follow up tomorrow evening to this chapter. Thanks for all the wonderful comments on the last few chapters. It's been a rollercoaster for our two ladies, but I promise, it's ending.
LEAVING
Olivia stared at the papers in her hand in disbelief for what seemed like forever. She read every word of the document three times. She read the annotations and corrections in red ink – Alex's handwriting.
She got up and poured a glass of wine. The words didn't change.
The papers in front of her was a separation agreement. Custody. Division of assets. A holiday schedule for the children, which Alex had noted Olivia could have the kids on any holidays she wasn't working due to the nature of her job.
Olivia halfway smiled at that, the considerateness of Alex, but it didn't change the fact of what the document was. Alex still planned on leaving her.
Olivia looked up at the door handle turned and she saw Noah and Addie push their way through the door. Alex was surprised when she saw Olivia home.
"Mommy!" Addie exclaimed when she realized Olivia was there.
"Hey, baby," Olivia said, reaching for Addie as she ran to her. "Did you have a good day?"
"Yes," Addie said. "And Grandpa came to visit."
"I see that," Olivia said, nodding at John.
"Are you sad, Mommy? You crying," Addie asked, seeing Olivia's red eyes.
"Mommy just had a hard day at work, baby girl," Olivia said. "But I'm all better now that I get to see you all."
Alex and Olivia exchanged glances. Alex saw what had been in Olivia's hands. She was upset with herself for leaving it out for Olivia to find that way. It certainly wasn't what she planned, but she also hadn't expected Olivia home so early.
"So, Grandpa and Grandma wanted to take the kids for a few days," Alex said in an attempt to explain to Olivia in a kid-appropriate manner what was going on.
"I saw the suitcases," Olivia said.
Another glance exchanged between the two women. John looked down, entertaining himself with Maggie in his arms.
"Hey, Noah, Addie, why don't you two go pick out a couple of toys each and a few movies to take with you to Grandma and Grandpa's house?"
"Okay!" Noah yelled and the two of them ran off to their rooms.
"I'll go help," John said, making himself scarce.
When everyone else was gone from the room, Alex spoke up.
"I hope it's okay they go with Mom and Dad," Alex said. "I was going to call you when we got home."
"It's fine," Olivia said. "We apparently have some things to talk about."
She glanced down at the paperwork and picked up her glass to take a drink of wine.
"I'm sorry," Alex whispered. "I wanted to talk to you first. I didn't…"
"It's fine, Alex," Olivia said. "We may as well rip the Band-Aid off."
Neither of them spoke again until the kids were all packed up and ready to go with Grandpa.
"Are you going with them?" Olivia asked. "Or should we move around the car seats?"
"We're trading cars," John said. "I'm leaving you and Allie with the Porsche for a few days."
Olivia nodded.
John gathered the kids over by the door.
"Bye, Daddy," Alex said, coming over to give him a hug.
"Thank you for everything," she whispered in his ear.
"Anytime, sweetheart," he said. "Olivia, I wish I could spend more time, but the crowd is getting antsy. We'll see you soon."
"Bye, John. And thanks," Olivia said.
John looked around, thinking he should say something, but not wanting to say anything in front of the kids – at least the ones that could talk.
"Noah, why don't you and Addie go press the elevator button and take your luggage. I'll be right there. But don't leave my sight and don't get on the elevator without me," John said. He was grateful the elevator was just across the hall and knew with how tall the building was, they'd likely have to wait a bit for it to arrive. Maggie was strapped to his back.
"Girls, I don't know what to tell you right now and I'm not going to pretend to understand how painful this is," John said. "But know that we love you both, and I know you both love each other as well. Make sure you remember that."
Olivia and Alex just nodded, both hold back tears until everyone was gone. John turned and left, meeting the kids at the elevator.
#
"Liv, I'm so sorry," Alex began a few moments later. "I didn't want you to find out this way."
"Find out? So, you've already decided?" Olivia said. "What the fuck, Alex? Just the other day you wanted us to go to counseling. Now I'm staring at a custody agreement."
"I didn't say I had decided," Alex snapped back. "And the other day I didn't know just how far the extent of your lies was."
"What are you talking about? I haven't lied to you about anything."
"Oh, really?" Alex said. "So, not telling me you helped your brother jump bail by withdrawing several thousand dollars isn't lying to me? What happened to us making decisions together?"
"I didn't realize I needed your approval before I spent my money," Olivia said. "Don't worry, none of it came from the Cabot fortune!"
"Excuse me? You think I give a fuck about the money?" Alex yelled. "I couldn't care less if it was $5 or $5,000 and whose bank account it came from. I'm upset because you lied to me. You lied to me by not telling me. And you kept it from me even after you promised no more secrets!"
"I was protecting you," Olivia said.
"Oh, the 'I was protecting you bullshit again,'" Alex spat. "If I had a dollar for every time you told me that…"
Olivia sat still, stewing and not speaking.
"So, you're not actually denying you helped him jump bail?" Alex said.
"Would it do any good if I denied it?" Olivia said.
"No," Alex said.
Both were silent for a moment.
"Jesus fucking christ, Liv," Alex said. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you could be in? You put your career in jeopardy over what? Some guy you just met who happens to share the same genes of your rapist father?"
"Oh, good one, Alex," Olivia said. "Keep reminding me my father was a rapist. I never get tired of hearing it. And for what it's worth, yes, I know how much trouble I could be in, that's exactly why I didn't tell you!"
"Right, cause you were protecting me," Alex said. "Cause why? I'm an officer of the court, so of course I'm going to put my job before my family?"
"Because I didn't want you to have to choose," Olivia said.
"You know, that argument would hold a lot more weight if I wasn't pretty sure you had Agent Porter help you out," Alex said. "What? His career isn't as important as mine? I mean, at least I would have a reason to cover up for you. What's his reason?"
"He was just trying to help," Olivia said. "And he did. That's all."
"Or maybe you two were just fucking when you were working for him that short time at the FBI," Alex said. "I mean, it was pretty clear from his face he wanted you."
"You have lost your damn mind if you think there was ever anything between me and Porter," Olivia yelled.
"Then why would he risk his career?" Alex said.
"I don't know. You'd have to ask him," Olivia said. "I think he felt like he owed me, and he knows Simon is innocent, too."
"It's not even that you told him," Alex said. "It's that you trusted him more than me."
"That's not true!"
"Yeah? Tell me what part of your actions over the past several weeks would lead me to believe you trust me?" Alex said.
"Okay, fine," Olivia said. "I made some bad decisions. But I mean it when I say I didn't tell you about the bail jumping to protect you. I mean, it's not like we're married. We don't have spousal privilege."
"When are you going to stop treating me like something so breakable?" Alex said. "How long have we known each other? I'm a big girl, Olivia. I'm pretty sure I've learned how to handle the shit you throw at me."
"See, there you go," Olivia said. "Always with the sharp jabs. Jesus, Alex, I'm not a witness on the stand. I'm your girlfriend. Maybe I'd talk to you more if I didn't think I was going to get a lecture or some attack."
"Oh, so this is all my fault. I see," Alex said.
"I didn't say that, Alex," Olivia said. "Look, I fucked up. And yes, I deserve all of this. I probably even deserve those papers right there. But dammit, I did this for you. For us. And our family."
"You broke the law for us?"
"I didn't tell you for us," Olivia said. "I broke the law for Simon – who also is family. I get you may not understand that, given that you've had your family around your entire life, but it means something to me."
"Okay, you're right," Alex said. "I don't understand. I don't understand why you would risk your career over someone you just met – even if he is your brother. I don't understand why you would risk your family – the family right here in front of you that you created yourself – so Simon, guilty or innocent, could run away from his problems."
Olivia looked down. She didn't have an answer.
"Olivia, we're right here, in front of you," Alex said. "You have a family. And I'm not saying you can't be family with Simon, too, but don't forget about us. Don't forget about me. You've always had a family with me. God, I've been in love with you since we met."
In love. Did that mean Alex was still in love with Olivia?
"Are you…still?" Olivia asked quietly.
"Still what?"
"In love with me?" Olivia said.
Alex took a deep breath. "Yes, of course. But we can't keep on like this and I think we may need some time to figure it out."
"Some time? What does that mean?"
"I don't know," Alex said. "I want this to work, but I don't trust you anymore."
Olivia began crying. She felt a gut punch coming.
"Liv, don't cry," Alex said. "Look, maybe I'll go to a hotel for a few days while the kids are away. Then we'll figure out how we go forward when they come back."
"You…want to leave?"
"I don't know, but I think I need to," Alex said. "I booked a hotel for the night already."
Olivia nodded. Tears falling down her face.
Alex was crying too, but she turned and went to the bedroom to finish packing her bag. Olivia sat at the kitchen table, not moving, tear drops falling on their separation document.
"I'll be at the Hyatt in midtown if you need something," Alex said when she returned.
Olivia looked up and nodded, not moving from her spot.
Alex dragged her bag to the door and paused before opening it, looking back at Olivia. She put her head down, and left.
#
Alex hadn't stopped crying since she left the apartment. All the way downstairs and the entire cab ride. Even when she was checking in.
The worst part of all of it? Olivia had never asked her to stay. Alex knew it was probably just because Olivia felt like she deserved it, but Alex still wanted Olivia to give a damn, to fight for them. She needed to see Olivia not walk away from something in her life, and she had hoped it would be her.
But Olivia didn't. Olivia sat silent as she walked out the door, never moving.
Alex changed into her pajamas and called down to order a bottle of wine. She figured she'd earned it.
She sat on the bed, flipping through channels in hopes of finding something to take her mind of Olivia and also not remind her of her girlfriend – mother of her children.
A short time later a knock came at the door.
The wine.
Alex got up, grabbed some cash for a tip and opened the door without looking to see who it was – something she knew Olivia would scold her for.
"Thank you so –" Alex started.
It wasn't the wine. It was Olivia.
"Don't go, Alex," Olivia said. "I love you and I will do anything for you – for us. Please, I don't want a life without you. I want to spend forever with you."
With that, Olivia dropped to her knee and pulled out a diamond ring.
"I know my timing is horrible and you don't have to answer right now, God, I wouldn't expect you to, but Alex, I want you to know how much I love you," Olivia said, to a shocked Alex.
"Will you marry me, Alex Cabot?"
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