A/N: I am indeed back and only 15 days later! I had a few questions about my AU comment-first of all, AU stands for Alternate Universe which means that the fanfic doesn't necessarily follow the original story plot. If you can actually believe it, I started writing the outline to this story back in 2003 and began writing the early chapters, only a few months before the fifth book came out. So there was and still is a lot in my story that don't necessary follow all of J.K. Rowling's plots and story lines. I have tried to change what I can, but there is a few things that are going to remain different. Most of these differences are going to be evident mostly in the sequel to this story so beware of them. For example, James' career-J.K. Rowling had mentioned in an interview that he didn't work due to the inheritance he received from his parents and due to his focus on the Order. But I have always seen him as an Auror so I'm going to keep him as one. However, there were other things that I have changed in the story in order to follow J.K. Rowling's original ideas. I guess you'll just have to continue reading just to see what I come up with next!
Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling but I certainly enjoyed going to see the midnight showing up HP7 last Thursday!
Kisses on the Balcony
By ByeByeBirdie
Chapter 53: Of Maps, Travesties, & Memory Lane
"Is it scurvy grass or knotgrass in the Befuddlement Draught?" Sirius asked, his mind swarming with all sorts of Potions ingredients. He had been sifting through seven years worth of Potions notes for twenty-four hours straight and it was beginning to take a toll on him. There were only three days left until their first exam and it was causing a lot of stress on all of them.
"Scurvy grass," James relayed from the other side of their dorm room. The library and the Gryffindor common room were overloaded and crammed with students shooting pillow cushions around the room to practice for their Charms exam or yelling disarming spells at each other, so the four Marauders inevitably ended up in their own dorm room. The three girls eventually traipsed up the stairs to join them and while that dorm room was crammed in its own essence, at least they didn't have to worry about anyone else's distractions except for their own. While James took claim over his desk, Lily had sprawled out over his bed. Sirius was leaning up against the wall on his own bed with Riley's head in his lap, both of them skimming over Potions ingredients. Remus and Kay had taken hostage over the floor, notes and textbooks spread out across the rug as they tested each other. James had tripped over them twice already trying to get to the bathroom. Peter was at his desk, his brow furrowed and his eyes crazed with anxiety as he glanced over Defense Against the Dark Arts notes.
Any time a mouth was opened, which was infrequent, it was usually asking a question about their studies or muttering a spell under their breath. Eventually, Kay cried out in frustration and threw her quill across the room. "Is anyone else in desperate need for a break?"
Lily shot her hand up. "I think I've read the same paragraph four times, but I guarantee I haven't grasped any of it."
"Ice cream?" Riley suggested, grinning.
"I'm in," Kay responded immediately. She offered Remus a sheepish grin. "Sorry, you're on your own."
"Who said I didn't want any ice cream?" he responded huffily.
"Do you?"
"No," he replied with a grin. "Doesn't mean I don't want to be asked."
"I asked, did I not?" she replied pointedly, smiling flippantly. She playfully chucked her quill at Remus with a cheeky smile, who ducked and shot her an amused look. She crawled off the floor, outstretching her arms over her head with a stifled yawn. "What time is it?"
"Nearly midnight," Riley responded immediately.
"We'll be breaking curfew," Lily pointed out with a quirked eyebrow.
"What's more important?" Kay chimed in, taking a seat on the edge of Remus' bed. "Ice cream or following the rules?"
"Definitely ice cream," Lily snickered, glancing sideways towards James with s scrutinizing look. "I think you've been a bad influence on me."
"Says the one who's sneaking out to the kitchens in the middle of the night to the guy who's planning on staying and finishing up his studies," James shot back with a pleased smile over his shoulder, winking at her.
She furrowed her brow but before she could retort, Sirius chimed in. "So really she's a bad influence on you."
Lily responded by chucking James' pillow at him, which winded up smacking Riley in the face. "Hey!" Riley groaned. "Do you want me to come with you or not?"
Lily laughed and rolled off James' bed. She tapped Riley's foot, urging her to get up off the bed. "Oh, c'mon. We could use some girl bonding time. All of this testosterone is starting to make me go crazy."
"Gee, is that all I am? Testosterone?" James whined.
She laughed and strolled over to him. She plopped herself on his lap and kissed him quickly. "For the most part, yeah," she teased.
The three girls traipsed out of the room with one last dismissive wave, leaving the four guys all on their own.
Remus immediately placed his quill down on the floor and retreated to his bed hesitantly. "You know what tomorrow night is?" he eventually spoke.
James glanced up from his textbook and nodded. "Yeah. Full moon."
"More specifically, the last full moon of the school year," Remus murmured.
Sirius' eyes darted up from his textbook in awe. "Wow," he uttered hesitantly, uncertain what else to say. "I guess this means our Marauding time really is coming to an end."
Remus gave him a look. "I don't think graduation is going to put an end to our troublemaking."
Sirius smiled slyly. "Still," he said with a shrug. "Tomorrow is going to be the end of an era, don't you think?"
The dorm room fell silent, the question being silently answered. Seven years earlier they had all come together to become what would eventually be known as the Marauders. Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Prongs, & Padfoot. They weren't just best friends. They were like brothers, brought together by not only a devoted camaraderie but by a fistful of cherished secrets. Secrets that could have destroyed them or tore them apart but only brought them closer together. None of them knew when they were mere eleven year olds how much they would come to impact one another, but they knew that they were the people they were today because of each other.
Remus cleared his throat, smiling awkwardly at his three best friends. "Look, not to get all…er…sentimental and corny, but I just wanted to thank you guys. For…well, for everything," he muttered, red developing on the tip of his ears. "I wouldn't have been able to get through the past seven years without you."
"Yes, you would have," James reassured firmly.
Remus furrowed his brow, remaining silent as he pondered his next words. "Maybe, but it wouldn't have been the same. I came to Hogwarts figuring if I just fly under the radar, do what was expected of me, and graduate without attracting any attention to myself, I'd have a pretty satisfying experience at Hogwarts. I never once thought that I would actually find friends here. And not only friends, but friends who have put their neck on the line for me in numerous ways. So…again, thank you."
The three of them were staring at Remus with a deep admiration and respect. Here he was thanking them for putting their necks on the line while he was the one who had to go through a horrible and dangerous transformation every full moon. "We'd put our neck on the line every day for you if we had to," Sirius said with a casual shrug.
Remus blushed and buried his head back in his textbook, but the gratitude on his face said it all.
James glanced around the room at his friends and couldn't help but smile nostalgically. They had shared some pretty epic times over the past seven years. Remus wasn't the only one who believed he wouldn't have been able to get through the past seven years without the Marauders. James had come to depend on them more than he ever realized and he knew in his heart that these were the guys who would always have his back. Just because they were graduating didn't mean that that had to change.
He quickly shut his textbook and scrambled to get up from his desk. "C'mon," he urged as he grabbed his jacket off one of the post of his bed.
"Er…where?" Peter asked, confused.
James rolled his eyes. "I have an idea that involves us leaving this dorm room. Sirius, grab the map," he said firmly.
"Where are we going?" Remus asked curiously, climbing off his bed slowly.
"Out," he said vaguely, giving them all a look. "Unless of course you'd much rather hang out here and study."
"I'm in," Sirius responded immediately with a smirk. He jumped off his bed and grabbed the map from his desk drawer.
Remus asked, "Don't you think the girls are gonna wonder where we've gone off to when they get back?"
James shrugged. "Yeah, probably. But we shouldn't be long if we go now."
"You are being extremely vague," Remus argued.
James shot him a look. "Fine, then you can stay here."
"No, I want to come!" he whined.
James snickered and strode to the door. "Then c'mon!"
Peter grinned and jumped off his bed. "Well, I'm certainly not going to be the only one left behind."
"Is anyone else a tiny bit creeped out?" Sirius muttered as James led them all out of the castle and hurriedly headed towards the Forbidden Forest.
James shot him a look over his shoulder, increasing his stride.
"Prongs, you gonna tell us what's going on anytime soon?" Remus barked, wrapping his scarf around his neck tightly. For a June day, the air was brisk and the wind was blowing harshly across their cheeks. He would have much preferred the comfort and warmth of his own bedroom.
James halted in front of the Whomping Willow. "Peter, do your thing," he requested.
"Er...you do realize that tomorrow is the full moon, right?" Remus smirked, earning a glare from James.
"Seriously, James, why so secretive?" Sirius demanded, glancing curiously at his friend.
"Oh, sure, because the four of us never have secrets," James snorted. He returned his gaze upon Peter. "Wormy, immobilize the tree."
"You expect me to do you a favor when you won't even tell me what I'm doing it for?" he snorted, giving his friend a look.
"I expect you to want to get out of this cold wind," he shot back.
"I do, too," a voice boomed from behind them. "Inside the school."
The four boys froze and whirled around to face the caretaker, Apollyon Pringle, who was glaring at them with his hands on his hips.
"Oops," James murmured.
"Gee, this was a great idea," Remus said sarcastically.
"I can't believe he took our map!" Sirius whined as they headed back to their room.
"Oh, please. We know this school like the back of our hands," James argued, shrugging. "We don't need it."
"But we put years of our life into that map!" Sirius continued, shaking his head incredulously.
"Yes, but those years have come to a close or do you not remember that we're graduating in a few weeks?"
"Eh, it's up in the air whether Sirius will actually graduate or not," Remus teased.
"Exactly! I may have needed that map next year!"
James rolled his eyes. "You're overreacting."
Sirius shot him a look. "How are you not annoyed right now that Pringle knicked the Map?"
James shrugged. "Because I was planning on getting rid of the map tonight anyway."
His three friends stopped in their tracks to stare at him in shock.
James hadn't realized they stopped until a few steps later. He whirled around, confused. "What?"
"'What?'" Sirius repeated, snorting. "You just said you were planning on getting rid of the map!"
"I felt like it needed a proper burial," he said with another nonchalant shrug.
Sirius and Peter still looked confused, but Remus found himself smiling slyly. "The Shrieking Shack," he murmured in awe. "Smart move, Potter."
James smiled shyly, shrugging awkwardly.
"Uh, someone mind filling in the dumb Marauders?" Sirius asked, gesturing between himself and Peter.
"Hey!"
"Do you know what they're talking about, Wormtail?" Sirius accused.
He hesitated. "No."
"Then my insult stands."
"I just thought that the map deserved to stay here at Hogwarts," James explained with a shrug after Peter smacked Sirius on the back of the head. "It deserved to stay with our youth and our innocence and-"
"I hardly think we were ever innocent," Remus interrupted.
James grinned. "We were. For about a day," he agreed. "My point is, is that the map would be pretty useless outside these Hogwarts walls, would it not?"
Sirius and Peter still looked dumbfounded.
"And what better place to bury the infamous map than in the place where the map had virtually been created and formed," James finished. "The Shrieking Shack."
They were all nodding in understanding now. "Ah," Sirius said in awe, smiling lopsidedly. "Did you have a speech all prepared? A memorial service perhaps? A eulogy? Candles and a hymn? Bible verse?"
It was James' turn to smack Sirius across the back of the head. "You are insufferable, y'know that?" he groaned, shaking his head incredulously. "Sorry if I'm being too sentimental for you, Padfoot. But I think that the Shrieking Shack has given us a lot of pretty unforgettable memories. I merely thought that a piece of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, & Prongs and our legacy deserved to be embedded there forever."
"Or until the next werewolf came to Hogwarts and found the map hidden there," Remus teased, lightening the mood.
James laughed, punching Remus lightly on the shoulder.
"To be completely fair," Sirius chimed in, narrowing his eyes curiously as they rounded the top of the stairs towards their portrait, "A piece of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, & Prongs and our troublemaking legacy probably suits the caretaker's office as well. Pringle has probably given us more detentions and taken more points away from Gryffindor than anyone else."
Remus snorted, nodding in agreement. "Except for maybe Lily. Before she linked up with this guy," he joked, gesturing towards James. "Hm, I've finally discovered why you courted her all these years."
James rolled his eyes and grinned, wrapping Remus' head in a headlock. Remus groaned, struggling to get away from his gasp. "Ah, yes," James said sarcastically, laughing as he let Remus go. "When I was twelve I knew that one day Lily Evans would become a prefect and inevitably Head Girl. So I thought 'hm, I should really fall for this girl now so that years down the road, she doesn't cause Gryffindor to lose the House Cup due to my blatant disregard for the school rules.'"
The three guys couldn't help but burst into laughter at James' overwhelming sarcasm.
James flashed them a smile. "Wouldn't it just have been easier for me to stop getting into trouble?"
"Easier, perhaps," Remus responded. "But I highly doubt you ever would have even attempted to stop causing trouble."
James grinned in complete agreement as he muttered the password, earning an irritated mouthful from the Fat Lady as to why students were out past their bedtime and waking her up from her deep slumber. It wasn't a surprise that the Gryffindor common room was still crowded with students, however late it was. With exams only three days away, students were using any time they could get to study up on their wand techniques.
The four of them avoided bright jets of light from numerous wands as they attempted to weave in and out of clusters of students. As James shoved open the door to their bedroom, he was met with a loud, "Where the hell have you guys been?"
James grinned sheepishly and sauntered over to his girlfriend, trying to kiss her on the cheek with little success. She pulled away, giving him a look. "Answer the question," she pouted.
He joined her on his bed with a shrug. "We went out."
"Gee, how specific," Kay chimed in from Remus' bed. Her textbook was placed on the bedspread in front of her but remained unopened.
"We thought you were kidnapped!" Lily cried out overdramatically.
Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "From our own bedroom?"
"To be fair, she uses the term 'we' loosely," spoke Riley with a shrug, gesturing for Sirius to join her on his bed. He gladly obliged, kissing her cheek as he snuggled up against her.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Okay, so maybe I didn't think you were kidnapped," she contested. "But we were rather confused when we returned to an empty bedroom. What happened to studying?"
"Eh, it's overrated," Remus snickered. He crawled on to the end of his bed, leaning up against the wall with a stifled yawn. Kay maneuvered herself in order to leave enough room at the end of Remus' bed for him.
"Seriously, what were you guys doing?" Kay asked curiously.
"Getting twenty points taken away from Gryffindor and earning a detention," Sirius said, grinning sheepishly.
The three girls groaned in unison. "We have two weeks left here and we're in the lead for the House Cup. Must you feel the need to ruin it for the rest of us?" Lily whined, shaking her head in disbelief.
"We didn't do it on purpose," James argued, slumping down guiltily.
"I'm pretty sure you never do it on purpose," Lily snickered. "And if you do, I'd be concerned on a number of levels."
James chuckled, kissing the side of her forehead. "Y'know, it could have easily been you guys who were caught by Pringle."
"Yes, but we didn't," Kay pointed out, flashing him a grin.
"Besides, aren't you the one who owns an Invisibility Cloak?" Riley pointed out, quirking a knowing eyebrow.
The four guys froze, exchanging a look with each other. "Why didn't we bring that with us?" Sirius finally spoke up in disbelief.
"And don't you own a map that reveals where the entire student body is, including the faculty?" Kay chimed in.
The four guys all exchanged a shocked look before bursting into laughter, suddenly realizing the irony of the situation. They had brought the map to hide it in the Shrieking Shack and they hadn't even bothered to use it on their way down to the grounds.
"We're pathetic," Remus murmured, shaking his head incredulously. "You'd think that seven years of sneaking around this school would have helped us perfect the art of being stealthy."
"Apparently not," Peter snickered.
"Apparently we need more practice!" Sirius said, sitting upright.
Riley grabbed his arm, pulling him back down towards her. "Sit tight, pretty boy. You're not going to lose us anymore points for us tonight."
He pouted but slumped down on the bed, slinging his arm over her waist with a content smile.
Even though James' ultimate plan failed, it seemed fitting that they ran into Pringle. The four of them shared a detention the following evening, their last detention of their Hogwarts career, and ended up reminiscing on the first time they had gotten caught by Pringle as they attempted to sneak off to the Slytherin common room to play a prank on their least favorite people in the school. While they pretended to shine up the awards, medals and trophies in the trophy room without the use of magic that night, they spent the entire time musing over their past accomplishments as successful marauding teenagers. Since their very first prank, they had made a name for themselves and it was disappointing knowing that they would leave that legacy behind once they graduated. Perhaps their prankster ways were a bit childish at times and they probably could have used their intelligence towards academics than troublemaking and maybe they had lost more points for Gryffindor in a single year than any other student had gotten taken off for their entire Hogwarts career, but in the end, it was some of the most fun they had at Hogwarts.
And for that reason and that reason alone, they didn't regret a single minute of it.
Nearly two weeks later, the seventh years all rushed out of the Great Hall, most of them cheering ecstatically. Kay threw her textbook into the air with a goofy smile on her face, nearly dropping it as it came bouncing back towards her while Sirius and James high-fived each other. Lily gazed at them, shaking her head amusedly, while Peter plastered a wide grin on his face. The only two that didn't look happy were Riley, who looked uneasy and distracted, and Remus, who was glaring at all of them.
"Thank God N.E.W.T.s are over!" Kay cheered.
"Speak for yourself," Remus muttered. "I still have Care of Magical Creatures this afternoon."
She offered him a sheepish, lopsided smile. "Oh, right. Sorry."
He shrugged. "Don't be," he muttered. "I'd be celebrating, too, if I knew I'd never have to take a school exam again in my life."
"Hallelujah!" James agreed, wrapping his arm around Lily's shoulder. "I think tonight, after everyone's exams are over," James snickered, shooting a look towards Remus, "would be a perfect night to celebrate."
Lily rolled her eyes. "You think every night is a perfect night to celebrate," she reminded him.
"Yes, but tonight I actually mean it," James joked.
Remus made a face. "Well, you go ahead and plan your celebration, but unfortunately I have to head to the library to finish studying. In just a few short hours, I promise I will be ready to scream 'Hallelujah' myself."
James snickered. "Have fun, man."
"Hm, definitely not my word of choice," he snickered, giving them a curt wave as he headed in the opposite direction.
James stifled a yawn, stretching his arms over his head. "I feel so free! I'm not even sure what to do with my time now."
Lily poked him in the ribs. "We have to put the final touches on tomorrow's graduation ball."
James rubbed his side, pouting. "I'd rather celebrate the finishing of exams."
Lily quirked a suggestive eyebrow, leaning in closer to him. "I promise I will make graduation-ball planning worth your while," she whispered in his ear, her breath warm and inviting.
James grinned. "Graduation-ball planning it is."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "You do realize that the common room couch has already been crossed off the list, right?" He flashed a smile over at Riley who was clearly not paying attention to the conversation. Sirius had noticed that over the past few days, she had been extremely distracted. He initially thought it was due to exams or their impending graduation, but he slowly realized it was something more than that.
James gave his friend a look but before he could speak up, Lily chimed in with a cheeky grin. "Still doesn't mean we can't have fun."
Sirius' eyebrows shot up. "When did you become so seductive?"
"I blame that list of yours," she snorted.
"I thank that list of ours," James corrected with a goofy grin.
Lily smacked him on the chest, a hint of a smile creeping up on her face. She grabbed his school tie and started tearing him away from his friends. "C'mon, let's get out of here." They flashed their friends a dismissive smile and disappeared down another hallway.
Sirius glanced over at Riley curiously. She was once again being unusually quiet during a time that should have been a celebration and he could tell that something was seriously bothering her.
As Kay and Peter started discussing all of the Charms questions they thought they may have missed, Sirius grabbed Riley's arm and slowed his pace, pulling her away from the other two.
She gazed up at him, confused. "What's wrong?"
"I was hoping you could tell me," Sirius said warily, quirking an anxious eyebrow.
Riley's instinct was to tell him she was fine and let it go, but one look in Sirius' concerned eyes and she knew she couldn't lie. They had already been through so much together. "I will," she said softly. "Just...not yet."
He wasn't so sure he liked the sound of that, but he didn't press the subject. He knew she'd talk to him once s he was ready to. "Okay," he said, kissing her cheek. "But when you're ready to tell me, I'm ready to listen."
Riley nodded and found herself smiling. "Thank you, Sirius," she whispered. She was so grateful that he was being patient and understanding. She needed him to be that way because she was still wrapping her mind around the recent news. And she felt guilty because she knew he deserved to know what she was thinking, but until she had a better idea of what she wanted to do, she didn't know if talking to him was going to help.
"No need to thank me," he replied, brushing the hair out of her face to kiss her forehead. "I'm always here for you, you know that."
She winced, somehow feeling worse. She swallowed hard and reached for his hand. "I know you are."
The Gryffindor common room was crowded with people that night, all celebrating the end of exams. The younger students were chatting animatedly about the following day's end-of-year banquet, excited that they were in first place for the House Cup. Barring no serious offenses, they were most likely going to clinch the House Cup. The sixth years were envisioning ultimate power when they claimed the top spot of the school as seventh-years in the following year. Other students were prattling on about their summer plans, putting that year behind them for good. Fifth years were worrying about their O.W.L. scores and trying to busy themselves with nonsense chitchat with their friends. Other students were reminiscing on that past year, sad to leave their friends for over two months. And Lily, Riley, Kay, James, Sirius, and Peter were simply enjoying living in the moment.
The girls were talking about their dresses for the graduation ball, much to the guys' chagrin.
"Mauve?" Sirius asked, wrinkling his brow. "What the hell is mauve?"
"It's a color, you dimwit," Lily groaned, her eyes glancing over towards Riley. "Why do you date this thing?"
"Hm?" she murmured, her mind clearly elsewhere.
Lily snickered. "Ah, you can't think of a reason either?" she joked.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "I hear the sex is good," he drawled jokingly.
Riley snickered, nudging him with her foot playfully. "Ah, yes, now I remember," she joked. She shared a smile with him, who squeezed her foot comfortingly. Riley had disappeared all day and Sirius had willingly given her the space she clearly needed, but he was grateful when she finally showed up in the Gryffindor common room earlier that evening. He didn't ask her where she went and she didn't tell him, but it was making him slightly uneasy. He couldn't figure out what could possibly be so troubling, but at the same time, he wasn't so sure he wanted to know.
"Why do our conversations inevitably lead us to Riley and Sirius' sex life?" Peter groaned, earning a laugh from his friends.
Thankfully the rhetorical question was interrupted by Remus' hopping over the back of the couch with a cheer. "Hallelujah, exams are over!"
James high-fived Remus with a grin. "How did Care of Magical Cre-"
"Don't ask! I have no desire to relive any of the exams we've taken over the past two weeks," Remus interrupted flatly, giving James a look. "They're over. That's all I care about."
"Hear, hear," Kay snickered with a supportive nod. "So now that we're all finished with exams, what are our plans for the next twenty-four hours?" Lily opened her mouth but Kay shot her a look, hastily adding, "And don't you dare say the word 'pack' or I might have to come after you." Lily quickly shut her mouth, grinning sheepishly.
"Well, I don't know about you lovely ladies, but us guys have a list of annual end-of-year traditions which this year include having to come up with a series of pranks for our graduation ceremony that will wow the entire student body, faculty, and families," Sirius explained with a shrug.
Lily groaned. "Why am I not surprised?"
"Because we're the Marauders," Sirius responded matter-of-factly. "And if we didn't plan any pranks for graduation, it would be considered a travesty. People would wonder what the hell happened to us."
"It's true," James added. "It's expected of us."
"Oh, yes, and God forbid you guys go against what's expected of you," Lily snorted, the ends of her mouth turning up.
"Did I not just mention the word travesty?" Sirius teased.
"I can't believe that we have two days left before we leave Hogwarts forever and you four want to spend it planning," Kay chimed in with a chuckle. "Aren't the last two days supposed to be designated to all of the things we've never had a chance to do before?"
"Like what?" Peter asked.
Kay opened her mouth to retort but found her mind coming up black. "Hm, I guess we've done everything we've always wanted to do," she snickered.
"Which I guess resorts us to doing all of the things we have done that we love to do one last time," Remus suggested.
Lily snickered. "Hm, does your annual end-of-year bash somehow come into play?"
James glanced over at Sirius, Remus, and Peter and shook his head. "Not this year."
Riley finally perked up, quirking a surprised eyebrow. "You guys aren't throwing your annual end-of-the-year bash?"
James shrugged again, slowly shaking his head. "Nah, it's about time we pass along our skills and knowledge to the younger generation."
"A.k.a. your sister and my brother?" Riley snickered, gesturing towards the two of them in the corner surrounded by their friends. They had their heads buried in a stack of parchment and Riley could guarantee they weren't finishing up any last-minute extra-credit assignments.
James grinned. "Naturally." He gazed over at his girlfriend and pulled her in close to him, kissing the top of her head. He lifted his gaze from her and let it linger on all of his friends before saying, "Besides, I'm already with the people I want to spend my last day at Hogwarts with. No need to throw a party."
Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "Are you getting mushy on us?"
"Mushy, no," James argued. "Nostalgic? Perhaps. But just seven months ago, we wouldn't have been caught dead hanging out as a group."
Remus chuckled. "Seven months ago, you and Lily hated each other. Come to think of it, so did Riley and Sirius."
Lily shook her head, making a face. "I don't know if hate is the right word. Strongly despised is a better term. Loathed, perhaps. Abhorred beyond belief even. But hate? Nah."
James feigned hurt while Sirius snickered, amused. "Ah, yes because strongly despising, loathing, and abhorring beyond belief sound less severe."
Lily grinned sheepishly, kissing James' cheek quickly. "Yes, but look where we are now? We're-"
"Disgustingly in love?" Kay chimed in.
"Overly affectionate?" Remus added.
"Sickeningly mushy?" Sirius continued.
"Way too romantic for my taste?" Peter murmured.
"Not sure what else to say except gag me," Riley smirked.
Lily rolled her eyes, lightly grabbed James' Gryffindor tie and pulled him towards her so she could kiss him, just to spite her friends. She wasn't surprised when a round of 'ewws' followed. "You are such children," she chuckled, wrapping his arm safely around her as she snuggled up against him. "Besides, I've seen more snogging from Sirius and Riley in the past few weeks than I'm sure you have all seen from me and James in the past few months."
Sirius grinned, puffing out his chest as if he were proud of that. He yelped slightly when Kay smacked him in the chest with her arm, earning a shared laugh among the rest of the group. "We're making up for lost time," Sirius snickered, squeezing her shoulders affectionately.
Riley's heart skipped a beat as she forced out a smile. "Yeah," she said. "Wouldn't want to lose any more time, right?"
Sirius' smile slowly faded as he sensed somber concern in her voice. He simply kissed her cheek and tried not to let it bother him. He had meant what he said to her earlier that day; he would be ready to hear it when she was ready to tell him. But he wondered if a part of him wasn't interrogating her further because he was afraid he wouldn't be ready to hear it. Whatever was going through her mind was seriously draining her mood and he couldn't imagine what she could possibly be hiding that might cause her so much anxiety. He squeezed her hand, hoping she would realize that that was a sign of his adoration towards her. She offered him a small smile which was enough for him.
"So if you guys aren't going to spend your time planning a party and I pray you won't be spending a whole 48 hours planning pranks," Kay argued, quirking a hopeful eyebrow, "And Merlin knows you won't be spending the next two days packing, that only leaves us with one option really." Sirius opened his mouth to chime in, but Kay quickly shut him down. "And I'm not talking about Truth or Dare, strip poker, or Spin the Bottle!"
Sirius grinned sheepishly. "Well, then I'm out of ideas."
A sly smile spread across Kay's face. "Well, considering you guys have perfected the art of breaking the rules over the seven years, it would only be fitting to use one of our last night's here to break every single rule possible."
"Let me guess," Lily snickered, holding up her hand and counting down, "One, leaving school property. Two, illegal activity probably involving alcohol. Three, breaking curfew. Four, girls sneaking into the guys' dorm."
"You are taking all the fun out of a Hogsmeade excursion," Sirius murmured, shaking his head incredulously. "At least, I think you're insinuating a Hogsmeade excursion."
Lily shot him a look. "Yes, that is what we're discussing. And I didn't once say I didn't want to partake in said Hogsmeade excursion. I was simply pointing out all of the consequences."
"Eh, I can live with those," he said, waving his hand dismissively. He hesitated. "Wait, so did we decide that we're going to Hogsmeade tonight?"
James groaned, slumping down on the couch. "When did just hanging out and talking go out of style?"
Six pairs of shocked eyes turned towards him.
He grinned. "I'm totally kidding. I'm in."
Riley nodded slowly. She needed to get away from the castle and her own thoughts. Alcohol, loud music, dancing, and a blatant disregard for the school rules was the answer. She slowly pulled herself off the couch, glancing at her girlfriends. "Shall we all meet back in an hour?"
The guys all groaned in unison. "How about we compromise: ten minutes?" James teased.
"You call that compromising!" Lily snorted, smacking him lightly on his arm. "How about forty-five minutes?"
"How about eleven minutes?" Sirius retaliated.
"One minute? You went up by a single minute?" Riley groaned, shaking her head.
"Okay, okay, fine," Sirius murmured with a slight hint of a smile. "Fifteen minutes?"
"I'm sticking with forty-five," Lily argued, grabbing Kay's hand and pulling her off the floor.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Eh, guess we can start our prank planning for the next half hour. Who here thinks we can find a fire-breathing dragon in the next day?"
The seven friends walked into the bar and were faced with a crowdful of people, a healthy mix between locals and Hogwarts students.
"Looks like everyone else had the same idea for tonight," Sirius murmured, quirking a curious eyebrow.
Remus' heart skipped a beat as his gaze fell upon Jillian at a table in the corner with her four roommates. She was laughing, clinking glasses with Kylie, Rachael, and Evelyn clearly over some sort of joke Rachael had just told. Remus' blood boiled at the thought of them laughing together. Just a few months earlier Jillian had loathed Rachael for her betrayal against Sirius and now she was sharing a few drinks and a few laughs with the girl. "I need a drink," he muttered, tearing his eyes away from Jillian immediately. He glanced back at his friends. "You guys go find a table."
Remus wasn't the only one who noticed the five sixth-year Gryffindor girls in the corner but Remus was grateful that his friends didn't bring it up. Riley quickly volunteered herself and Kay to help Remus with the drinks, partly because she wanted to change the subject for his sake and partly because she needed to get away from Sirius in order to not feel guilty for being so distant lately. The other four attempted to find a table with very little luck. They ended up running into Fabian and Gideon who were there with Marlene McKinnon and Alice and attempted to squeeze into their already small table.
"Is the entire school here tonight?" Fabian snickered, glancing around the crowded dance floor.
"Wouldn't be surprised," Sirius said with a shrug. "Only two days left until we go our separate ways. Everyone's just trying to cram in one last-minute Hogsmeade outing before summer comes back around."
Fabian raised his beer glass and nodded. "I'll drink to that."
"How about we drink to the Auror recruitment program?" James suggested with a grin.
"Oh, sure, rub it in," Gideon teased, rolling his eyes. He leaned in closer to everyone at the table, glancing suspiciously behind him. "Besides, I think it would be better for us to drink to the Order."
Peter, James, Sirius, and Lily all froze in surprise, their mouths hanging open slightly. Lily's glance hastily swept back and forth among Alice, Marlene, Fabian, and Gideon who were all smiling slyly. "Dumbledore asked you guys?" she said in awe.
Alice nodded. "Frank, too," she added.
James and Sirius exchanged an impressed look and almost simultaneously grabbed the glasses out of Fabian and Gideon's hands to raise them up much to the twins' protest. "Well, let's drink to the Order then," James said in a soft voice so as not to be overheard.
"Here's to destroying Voldemort and his followers in whatever way we can," Marlene chimed in with a vigorous nod.
James found himself smiling as he clinked glasses with Sirius, laughing as Fabian grabbed the beer back out of his hand. He had recently been so focused on not being able to move on from Hogwarts. He had been afraid of leaving the comfort and the sanctuary that Hogwarts had given him and he hadn't been ready to let his youth go. But as he glanced around at the determined looks on the faces of his friends and classmates, he suddenly realized that it didn't matter if he wasn't ready to move on and it didn't matter if he was afraid of the future. The undeniable truth was that Voldemort needed to be stopped. And working as an Auror and a member of the Order gave James the power to do just that. He was ready to embrace his future if it meant being one step closer to taking Voldemort down.
On the other side of the room, Remus was attempting to push his way through to the front of the crowd around the bar. "Jeez, you'd think it was some sort of holiday the way people have flooded to this bar," he murmured irritably.
Kay snickered but Riley didn't even crack a smile. She was clearly not paying attention to her two friends and it didn't go unnoticed by them. Remus pushed his way up to the front of the bar, glancing behind him. "Riley, what will you and Sirius be having?" Remus asked.
She didn't respond and Remus felt it necessary to tap her shoulder. She jumped. "What?" she asked, confused.
Kay and Remus exchanged a look. "Are you okay, Riley?" Remus dared to ask, narrowing his eyes curiously.
"Yeah, of course," she lied. She nodded towards the table that was filled with Jillian and her friends. "I think that's a better question for you."
There was a flicker of irritation in his eyes that Riley knew wasn't directed towards her. He shrugged. "Yeah, of course," he lied.
Riley sent him a furtive smile, sharing in with the blatant lie. "Just get us two firewhiskys and cola," she said, changing the subject.
Remus nodded, welcoming the subject change. He forced himself not to glance out of the corner of his eye to Jillian's table and focused instead on Rosmerta as he ordered the first round of drinks.
An hour later, everyone had separated to do their own thing with Lily lagging behind to hold the table.
Riley grabbed her beer from Rosmerta, leaving a tip, and headed back to her table. She was thankful that Lily was the only one there. "Where's everyone else?" Riley asked curiously, slipping into an empty seat beside her friend.
"Gideon and Marlene are snogging in the corner," she snickered, nodding to the pair hiding out by the bathrooms. "Fabian and Alice ran into Kristina Reinhart and are sharing a few drinks with her and her friends. James is determined to stop Sirius from singing karaoke tonight. Kay and Peter are grabbing more drinks and Remus is on the dance floor talking up some girl."
Riley quirked an eyebrow.
"My guess is, he still has feelings for Jillian and is trying to get over them by trying to find another girl who can fill her place for the night," Lily elaborated.
"So I probably only have a few minutes left until someone get back to the table," Riley murmured, mostly to herself.
Lily sensed a nervous shake in Riley's voice. "Er...everything okay?"
"No," Riley said immediately, sighing deeply. "Do you remember that fellowship with the Daily Australian Record?"
Lily nodded slowly, remembering back a few months. "Yeah. You were placed on the waiting list, right?"
"Well, not anymore."
Lily's eyes widened. "Oh my God, have you been holding back?" she cried out. "Don't tell me they offered it to you."
Riley nodded weakly.
Lily screeched out in delight. "Riley, that is fantastic! Congratulations!" she cried out. She hesitated, finding it odd to her that Riley was frowning. "Why do you look so apprehensive?"
Riley swallowed hard, her heart skipping a beat. She suddenly knew exactly what James was going through when he needed to make a decision about Quidditch or the Auror program. "It starts in a week."
Lily's heart sunk. "What?" she whispered hoarsely.
Riley nodded. "I would have to leave in seven days," she murmured.
Lily blinked. "For Australia."
Riley couldn't help but smirk. "Yes, ironically enough the Daily Australian Record is headquartered in Australia."
Lily felt a lump forming in her throat. She knew that one of her friends was bound to move away after graduation, but she wasn't expecting it to happen so soon. "What has Sirius said about it?"
Riley frowned but said nothing.
"Oh," Lily murmured. "You haven't told him yet."
"No, I was hoping for some advice."
Lily sighed. Why did it seem like everyone wanted her advice? "Advice on what exactly?"
"I have no idea what to do," Riley admitted, swallowing hard.
Lily placed her hand on Riley's comfortingly. "Riley, I think the problem is you know what you have to do but you're just too afraid to tell Sirius."
Riley shook her head. "No, Lily," she murmured, shutting her eyes tightly. "I don't know what to do. A few months ago - hell, even a few weeks ago, the choice would have been obvious. It would have been difficult but I would have jumped at this opportunity. But..."
"But?"
Riley chewed on the inside of her lip as she fingered the label on her beer bottle. "For so long, I hid behind my feelings and I ran away from the idea of commitment. But Sirius changed that. I am finally so happy with the way my life is and Sirius has a lot to do with that. So how can I possibly tell him that I may be leaving?"
"If he really loves you, Riley, he'd want you to go."
"I know," she responded in a soft whisper. "That's the problem."
Lily took her hand off of Riley's in awe, leaning back in her chair. "Wow," she murmured. "It's pretty big of you to admit that you'd rather stay here versus going to Australia."
"Big how?" Riley asked, confused.
Lily smiled apologetically. "It's just unlike you to choose a guy over...well, anything else."
Riley nodded slowly, recognizing Lily's surprise. "I know."
Lily and Riley locked eyes, both showing expressions of uncertainty and confusion. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to help you, Riley," Lily admitted.
"Tell me what to do."
Lily shot her a look. "Riley, I wouldn't tell my boyfriend what to do when he needed to choose between staying in London and going to Italy so no offense, I don't think I can tell you either."
Riley sighed. "It's the age-old question, isn't it," she murmured. "Should one choose love or work?"
Lily cocked her head to the side, gazing at her curiously. "What do you want to do?"
Riley was silent for a long time. And if it wasn't for her crinkled eyebrow and the faraway look in her eye, Lily may have wondered if Riley heard her question.
Riley took a swig of her beer and slowly placed it on the table. "Honestly? I have no idea."
Lily shrugged. "Well, I think you know my next advice."
"Pro-con list?"
Lily nodded sheepishly.
"Yeah, I thought you might say that."
Lily glanced at her curiously. "Which is why I think you came to me."
Riley hesitated. "What do you mean?"
Lily sighed, offering Riley an apologetic look. "I think we both know that this is a conversation you'd normally have with James. He has always been your go-to person when you needed some advice. And considering just a few shorts weeks ago, he was deciding between staying and going, he's a much better person to ask than me. He would probably have a strong opinion on the matter."
Riley frowned, choosing not to comment.
"I, however, am always the first to suggest a pro-con list," she pointed out. "You don't want me to make this decision for you. You just needed someone to talk to."
She knew Lily was right. When she first received the acceptance letter the day before, she immediately wanted to talk to James like she had always done when she needed help through something. But as she made her way to his bedroom, she found herself slowing down trying to weigh the risks with the rewards. She didn't want anyone to make the decision for her, and she had a strong suspicion that James would find a way to convince her to stay. But she needed to figure this all out on her own.
"Yeah," she eventually sighed. "I know."
Lily added, "Riley, I think we both know that the DAR fellowship would be one hell of an opportunity for you. You will make an amazing journalist one day. But I think we also know that you might have to leave a lot of things behind. And a lot of people."
Lily was shocked to see tears well up in Riley's eyes. "I…I think I might be falling in love with him."
Her words were barely audible but Lily was shocked nonetheless. She never would have imagined Riley admitting even being on the verge of love. Lily wasn't sure how to respond. Thankfully, Riley chimed in.
"And I'm afraid that if I leave..." she trailed off.
"Things will never be the same between you?" Lily suggested.
Riley nodded slowly. "We've already lost so much time together because of my stubbornness."
"This isn't stubbornness. It's ambition."
Riley sighed, taking a slow sip from her beer. She glanced up at Lily skeptically and saw a twinge of determination on her friend's face. "You think I should go." It wasn't a question.
In any other situation, Lily would have said yes. A career had to become before any guy if you were choosing it for the right reasons. While that might sound hypocritical considering she didn't want James going to Italy, truth was she never thought he really even wanted to even play Quidditch. You could never guarantee that a relationship would last while taking career opportunities could lead to ultimate success. But Lily couldn't help but hesitate. Riley was right; she and Sirius had already lost so much time together. And Lily wasn't so sure that she and Sirius would have the chance to continue to grow if Riley leaves. Lily had a feeling that they still had so much to learn about each other. "I think you should do what feels right."
Riley pursed her lips together. Problem was, she didn't know what that was.
She didn't have to respond to Lily's comment, however, because Kay and Peter came bouncing back to the table. "What did we miss?" Kay asked.
Riley and Lily exchanged a quick, furtive glance that Kay and Peter might have noticed had they not been intoxicated.
"Nothing," Riley murmured with a shrug. "Just the usual gossip about the boyfriends."
Kay pouted. "Gee, thanks for reminding me."
"Hey, he'll be here in two days," Lily reminded her.
Kay grinned, raising her glass. "I'll drink to that!"
"And I have to warn you," Riley chimed in, pushing all thoughts of the DAR fellowship from her mind for the time-being, "That snogging him in front of my family will be highly detrimental to you. Especially when there will be cameras around. Unless of course you enjoy being endlessly mocked."
Kay rolled her eyes. "Why is it that the Gilmores are never satisfied unless they're making fun of someone?"
"Mocking's in our blood," Riley said with a teasing shrug. "I think Gilmores start teaching their children how to mock even before they teach them how to walk."
Kay groaned. "Any other rules I should be aware of?"
"No rules," Riley shared. "I just advise you to keep away from my brothers except for Lance as much as possible. If you're not around them, they can't mock you."
"Alone time with Lance, hm?" Kay mused. "That's not something I mind."
"Alone time, hm?" Sirius' voice spoke up from behind them. He grabbed Riley's beer and took a quick swig. "What do you say we practice some of that alone time now, babe?" he whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek.
Riley's heart skipped a beat and she smiled. She had absolutely no idea what to do about the Daily Australian Record, but she did know that if she ended up going to Australia she was determined to spend every minute between now and then with Sirius. She finished off her beer and grabbed his hand. "That sounds perfect."
Remus eventually retreated back to his table where he found it empty. He hadn't been getting any enjoyment out of flirting with the girl on the dance floor and wasn't surprised when she ended up finding someone else to flirt with. She could tell that flirting with Remus was going to get her nowhere.
Glancing back towards the dance floor, it looked like most of his friends had found themselves there and he debated for a split second about joining them. In the end he chose to return to the table. Lily and James looked happy with each other and Marlene and Gideon were so engrossed with each other that Remus had no desire to feel like a fifth wheel.
Remus sighed and slowly sipped his beer, suddenly wishing he was back at Hogwarts.
"Hey there."
Remus glanced behind him as Evelyn Marx unexpectedly slipped into an empty seat across from him.
"Hey," Remus said warily, quirking a confused eyebrow.
"Just so you know, Riley and Sirius are totally holed up in the women's restroom right now having sex," she snickered.
Remus made a face, shaking his head in disbelief. "Un-freaking-believable. We can't even go out for a few hours without them feeling the need to go at it like rabbits."
"Any particular reason they can't wait until they get back to the privacy of their own bedroom?" she snorted, rolling her eyes. Not that she was one to talk. She's certainly had her share of awkward sex in strange places.
Remus sighed, rolling his eyes at the very thought. He didn't know why he was bothering to tell Evelyn about the checklist if not for the sole reason that he didn't want to be left alone. Being alone was just another reminder that while his friends were off having awkward bathroom sex and snogging contently on the dance floor, he was stuck by himself at a large table in a crowded room. If that didn't scream pathetic he didn't know what did.
He delved into the story of the sex checklist. When he finished, Evelyn looked highly amused by the whole ordeal. "Typical teenage boys, hm? Competing with one another to see who can ultimately have the most random sex in the most random places for the remainder of the school year."
Remus quirked an eyebrow. "I pray that that's not typical teenage boy behavior," he groaned.
She smirked. "Maybe just typical James and Sirius behavior."
"Well, you would know," Remus blurted out, realizing a bit too late how that sounded.
She shrugged, knowing it wasn't meant as an insult. "True. If only I had the Marauder trifecta," she argued, giving him a curious look.
Remus blinked. "What?"
A sly smile spread across her face. "Why aren't you included in that stupid bet of theirs?"
Remus stared blankly at her. "I'm missing a key ingredient, Evelyn," he snorted.
She leaned in closer to him, whispering, "You don't have to be."
Remus' heart skipped a beat, recognizing the proposition. He turned away, pursing his lips. "You're friends with Jillian," he pointed out for lack of anything better to say.
Evelyn quirked a suggestive eyebrow. "Yeah, your ex-girlfriend," she reminded him.
Remus fell silent.
She grinned slyly. "It was merely a suggestion," she said, shrugging nonchalantly. She reached over and grabbed his beer, taking a long swig from it. "You just looked a bit lonely, that's all."
Remus froze and slowly locked eyes with her. He didn't bother saying anything. They both knew she was right.
She winked at him and handed his beer back to him, hopping off the stool. "I'll be at the bar if you need me."
He hesitated. "I won't," he murmured.
She shrugged curtly, her eyes sparkling with lust. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me," she said softly, quirking a suggestive eyebrow.
He didn't respond. It was unusual for him to be propositioned so outright. That job was usually directed towards Sirius and James. He quickly finished off his beer as he ignored the fast beating of his heart. He wasn't one to partake in random one-night stands. That wasn't him. While Sirius and James had gotten away with it in the past, Remus preferred monogamy.
And yet, there was this nagging voice in the back of his head that had him wondering what the harm would be in having a bit of fun that night. He was going to be graduating from Hogwarts in just two days and had no idea what his future held. So maybe it was time he just enjoyed living in the moment before the whole world came crashing down around him.
After Jillian broke up with him, his days had been filled with regret and emptiness. And he was tired of feeling empty. He was tired of feeling lonely. He was tired of feeling bad all the damned time. And he was tired of not being able to get Jillian off his mind. She clearly didn't care what he thought, so why should he care what she thought?
He knew that he was just coming up with excuses and he knew that he was probably better off sitting alone at the table. He knew that no good could come out of having sex with Evelyn Marx.
But the lonely part, the more vulnerable part, found himself climbing out of his chair and sauntering over to Evelyn.
Remus later slowly meandered back to his table, trying to forget about what he just did. He knew that it had been a mistake the whole time he was doing it, but for once in his life he enjoyed being just a tad rebellious.
He slowly slid into an empty seat at the table where James, Lily, Sirius, and Riley all sat.
"Where the hell have you been?" Sirius asked curiously.
Remus snorted. "Not having sex in the bathroom, that's for sure," he shot back, smirking.
Riley's cheeks grew hot as all of their friends erupted into a fit of laughter. "I wasn't aware you knew about that," she murmured, slumping down in her chair embarrassedly. She didn't know what she was thinking when Sirius convinced her it would be a good idea. Alcohol was probably involved. And perhaps she was just trying extremely hard to push the DAR fellowship to the back of her mind.
Remus forced out a smile, trying to look amused. He knew that he was probably far from successful but due to the fact that his friends were all tipsy, no one took notice to his uneasiness. He tuned out the debate that had ensued between James and Sirius over their checklist and tried to focus on drowning out his misery and guilt with the beer in front of him. He wondered if perhaps he needed something stronger.
"Remus!" Lily shouted, waving her hand in front of him.
He jerked his head up in surprise. "Hm? What?"
She quirked a curious eyebrow. "Riley and I are heading up to the bar. Want anything?"
He gazed down at his beer and nodded. "A shot of tequila would be nice."
She looked surprised, knowing that Remus would be the last person to order hard alcohol. But she didn't question it. "Sure," she said as she grabbed Riley's arm and disappeared into the crowd.
"You want to tell us what's going on, Moony?" Sirius asked the moment the girls disappeared.
He frowned, letting out a frustrated sigh. Slumping down in his chair, he murmured in a small voice, "Well, you can add Hogsmeade alley to that list of yours."
While Sirius looked slightly confused, James gawked at him. "Wait, what?"
Remus groaned, rubbing his temples. "You heard me," he muttered, shrugging.
Sirius' eyes grew wide as he realized what his friend was referring to. "With who?" Sirius treaded carefully. "Jillian?"
Remus glared at him. "No. She dumped me. I hardly doubt the girl is going to then throw herself at me and choose to lose her virginity in a disgusting alleyway."
Sirius shrugged. "Sorry to jump to conclusions," he said regretfully, sensing the hostility in Remus' voice.
"I shouldn't have brought it up," he muttered, shaking his head at his clear stupidity for ever thinking that sleeping with Evelyn would make him forget about the rest of the world around him. "I'm going to go help the girls."
Before James or Sirius could protest, he disappeared into the crowd.
Sirius glanced over at James. "Okay, what just happened?"
James shrugged. "He's clearly still hung up over Jillian."
"So he has sex with another girl?" Sirius snorted. "That's not very logical."
"He's just trying to get over her," James pointed out. He gave Sirius a look. "If I recall correctly, you ran right into the arms of Rachael after your break-up with Riley."
He grinned sheepishly. "Oh, right," he chuckled nervously. "This just seems slightly out of character for Remus, that's all."
"I know," James sighed. "Heartbreak's tough."
"Well, he only has two days left in her vicinity. Maybe the summer will be a blessing in disguise for him?"
James hesitated before sighing. "Or maybe it will just be a reminder that he probably will never see her again."
While Remus' intentions were to head to the bar to help Riley and Lily, he found himself migrating towards the front door instead for some much-needed fresh air. He thought he had wanted to busy himself with his friends so as not to think of the colossal mistake he made, but at that moment, he couldn't deal with their celebration of the end of the year. He wasn't prepared to leave Hogwarts. A part of a him, a large part of him, wanted to stop time and stay an eighteen-year-old Hogwarts student forever. Because the moment he received that diploma, he was completely and utterly alone.
He knew that that probably sounded dramatic. Even in his own head it sounded a bit over-embellished. But the truth of the matter was, his friends all had plans while he was completely lost. And the one thing he thought he could count on to keep his world afloat was Jillian. And she let him go.
"Remus!"
Remus cringed and turned back to glance at Kay.
She jogged over to him. "Where are you going?"
He wasn't even sure. He glanced up and saw that he had been heading back to Hogwarts. "Back to Hogwarts," he responded.
She glanced up at him curiously. "Why?"
He shrugged. "I'm not in a celebratory mood."
"Does this have something to do with Evelyn?"
He knew that shock was registering on his face, a guilty feeling emerging from within. He swallowed hard. "Er...what makes you say that?"
"I saw you sneak out the back entrance with her."
"Oh," he murmured guiltily.
"Snogging," she added.
"Oh," he murmured, embarrassed.
She didn't say anything else. She knew that if Remus wanted to tell her, he would. And if he didn't, it wasn't any of her business.
Remus sighed and traipsed over to an empty bench. He slowly took a seat and put his head in his hands with a groan. "We...we did a bit more than snogging," he admitted.
"A bit?"
He gave her a look.
"Oh," she said, realizing the implication. She couldn't help but be a little surprised. Sleeping around was very unlike Remus. But she knew that he was vulnerable at this time so she bypassed judging and went to sympathy. "I see."
She watched as his expression went from remorse to frustration. "Jillian is going to kill me."
"She can't kill you," Kay defended immediately. "Technically, you didn't do anything wrong."
He lifted his head from his hands long enough to stare doubtfully at her. "And you think that's going to stop her from killing me?"
Kay grimaced. "You're right. You should probably plan your escape from England now." She knew that he needed a laugh.
He didn't laugh, though. He didn't even crack a smile. He wrinkled his brow solemnly. "Great. Thank you for the words of encouragement." His tone was dripping with flat sarcasm.
She offered him a lopsided, apologetic smile. "Sorry. You're probably not in a joking mood right now."
He shook his head, sighing deeply.
She cringed guiltily. "Remus, why'd you do it if you knew that it would get back to Jillian?" she asked curiously. "And please don't say it was to make her jealous because you're better than that."
"No, it had nothing to do with that," he reassured quickly, giving her a look. "I'm just..." he trailed off, sighing heavily. A sigh filled with remorse and irritation, but most of all agony. "I don't know," he murmured, not sure he could even explain.
"I don't mean to sound patronizing, Remus, but this isn't like you," she said as nicely as possible with a curt shrug. "It's who Sirius and James used to be, but you always used to be the good guy."
"Maybe that's the problem," he blurted out. "Maybe I'm tired of being that good guy. Maybe for once in my life I-I just wanted to do something bad. Be a bit rebellious. Because you know what they say: good guys always finish last."
Kay shook her head, sensing a strong hint of regret in his tone. "Remus," she said, her tone firm and stern, "Girls might think they're attracted to the bad boy, but believe me, they almost always end up choosing the good guy in the end."
"Right, and look how well that turned out for me," he snorted. He shook his head. "I'm just so tired of…" he trailed off, swallowing the words.
"Tired of what?" she asked softly. "Of feeling alone? Hurt? Betrayed? Empty?"
He slowly turned his head to her without bothering to nod. They both knew she hit the nail on the head.
Kay furrowed her brow, gazing at him with scrutinizing eyes. "Remus," she said, this time her voice soft and understanding as she placed her hand on his to offer him some condolence. "I hope you know that bad guys get hurt, too."
He quickly turned his gaze away from her, refusing to let her see the more vulnerable side of him. "It was a stupid mistake," he sighed. "Can we just let it go?"
Kay nodded, knowing that ignoring the subject was something he so desperately felt like he needed in that moment. And she felt obligated to give him at least some sort of good news that evening. "You want to head back to Hogwarts?" she asked.
Remus gazed up towards the castle in the far-off distance, staring at the bright lights in the stained glass windows. He did want to head back to the castle but he felt a twinge of guilt as his eyes felt drawn to the crowded bar. He only had two days left at Hogwarts and they deserved to be spent with his friends.
Thankfully, he didn't have to make a decision. His five other friends had all tumbled out of the bar, laughing and giggling as they each linked arms to scuttle down the street towards Kay and Remus.
"We've already discussed it and we think a sleepover in the Gryffindor common room is in our near future," Sirius cried out when he noticed Remus and Kay sitting on the bench.
Kay quirked an eyebrow. "I didn't realize we were six-years-old," she snickered.
"Well, what's more appropriate than spending one of our last nights at Hogwarts than in the comfort of the Gryffindor common room which has ultimately become a place where we can all call home?" Lily agreed. Normally, she would have invited them all back to her private quarters. But seeing as they had all grown to be friends in the comfort of the Gryffindor house, she felt it was more appropriate to end the night there.
"Sounds like a plan to me," Remus chimed in, standing up from the bench and linking arms with Peter on the end. Kay followed suit and linked arms with him. The seven of them started the long walk up to the castle, just enjoying the moment for what it was. In two days, all of their lives were going to change and in that moment, all they had was each other.
Glancing around at the group, Remus found himself smiling. Really smiling. He stopped thinking about Jillian and he stopped thinking about Evelyn. He stopped fixating on his break-up and he stopped focusing on his loneliness. With friends like the ones he has acquired over the years, he knew that he could never really be lonely.
James muttered the password and they all sauntered into the common room, all slightly buzzed on alcohol and laughing about Sirius and Riley's sexual encounter in the girl's bathroom that evening. They were grateful that the room was quiet. Only a few stray fourth years were in the corner and they looked about ready to conk out.
Lily and James fell on to a couch in the corner with Peter right beside them. Remus moved the coffee table out of the way to offer more room. Sirius leaned up against the back of the couch and Riley placed her head in his lap with a stifled yawn. Remus summoned pillows from another couch and propped himself up on the floor as Kay took the oversized chair.
"Can you believe how far we've all come?" Remus murmured. He glanced around at the six friends he had made over the years and was forever thankful for everything they had all given him. "From friendships to enemies to relationships to break-ups to falling in love and to inevitably making friendships that will last a lifetime. It's incredible that we've all made it to this point in one piece."
Kay laughed. "It sounds like that progression is targeted towards a certain raven-haired beauty and former Don Juan."
Before Riley or Sirius could retort, Remus piped up. "Yes, true, most of us don't fall into that progression precisely, but you get my point. The fact that we're all friends now is pretty incredible. Maybe this is the alcohol talking, but I know that I wouldn't want to change a thing."
Riley plastered a smile on her face, a twinge of guilt surging throughout her. Remus was right; they had all been through so much and she was grateful for where they had all ended up. And here she was, considering bringing on yet another change. Why was she so determined to screw everything up?
"What's everyone's favorite Hogwarts memory?" Lily asked, a prying smile on her face.
They all groaned.
"Do we really have to take a trip down memory lane?" Remus whined, making a face.
"Yes," Lily urged, giving him a look.
Remus snickered, shrugging. "Well, then I would have to say…" he trailed off. Truth was, his favorite Hogwarts memory probably was the time that James, Sirius, and Peter told him that they were going to become Animagi to help him through his own transformations. But he knew that Kay and Riley didn't know about that, so he tried thinking of a close second. One that didn't include Jillian. He fixed his gaze upon James, Sirius, and Peter and smiled awkwardly. "Probably when you guys found out about my...er, furry friend and you didn't freak out."
"Awww!" all of his friends chorused and Remus blushed, burying his head in his pillow with a groan.
"I knew I should have kept my mouth shut," Remus whined, shaking his head incredulously. "Someone else say something now. James?"
James smiled, gazing down at his beautiful girl. "Well, that's easy. The day I said 'I love you' to-"
"Kristina?" Sirius interrupted with a snicker, causing them all to burst into hysterical laughter.
James smacked him in the back of his head. "No," he laughed, the ends of his mouth turned up slightly. He kissed the side of Lily's head. "The day I said 'I love you' to this beautiful girl sitting right here."
She smiled shyly and leaned over to kiss him.
"Ewww," all of their friends chorused and Lily couldn't help but roll her eyes.
"Oh, shush," she chuckled, snuggling into his warm touch as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.
"If I recall correctly, didn't you guys have sex right after he professed his love to you?" Sirius snickered, grinning impishly.
James glared at him and Lily blushed. "Gee, way to ruin the moment," she snorted. "But if we're continuing along with the sentimental route, I'd have to say my favorite Hogwarts moments was the day James broke up with Kristina and chose me."
Their friends all exchanged looks. "I'm not sure whether to say 'aw' or 'ew,'" Kay joked and she wasn't surprised when James smacked her with a couch cushion.
"Well, what about you, Kay?" James snickered, shaking his head with a chuckle.
Kay hesitated. Truth was, her best memory in the past seven years also had to do with her boyfriend. But seeing as the day he showed up on her doorstep wasn't actually a Hogwarts memory, she chose to say, "The day Riley surprised me and had Lance show up on the platform this past Christmas." She couldn't help but smile over at Riley.
"Is it our turn to say 'ew' now?" Lily teased, shooting her friend a look. "And technically that was off Hogwarts grounds."
Kay gave her a look. "Well, I can say for certain that my favorite Hogwarts memory had absolutely nothing to do with the day I met you and Riley."
The four guys couldn't help but burst into laughter as Lily pouted and slumped down on the couch.
"Sirius?" Lily questioned, quirking an eyebrow. "What about you?"
He squeezed his girlfriend's arm. "That's easy. The day Riley and I got together."
James snorted. "Which time? The time you ran off to sleep with another girl? The time that you hid your relationship from your friends? Or the time you humiliated yourself in the Great Hall?"
While his friends all snickered, Sirius made a face. He paused. "Okay, you're right, bad examples. I'd have to choose Hot Dog Day then."
Riley's mouth dropped open, feigning shock. "Hot Dog Day? Your next best Hogwarts memory is Hot Dog Day? You're choosing a day where you stuff ten hot dogs into your mouth and pray you don't throw it all up afterward over me?"
Sirius grinned sheepishly. "I really like hot dogs."
She rolled her eyes. "I can't figure out why I took you back," she joked, kissing his cheek.
"You still have some time to get out of it," Peter chimed in.
"What's your favorite Hogwarts memory, Peter?" Lily asked.
He shrugged. "Probably every single prank we've played on the Slytherins over the years," he said, grinning.
Sirius high-fived him as the four boys broke out into goofy grins.
James opened his mouth to retort but Lily smacked her hand over his mouth. "Please do not use this time to relay every single prank you have played on them. I guarantee I do not want to know."
James couldn't help but laugh and kissed the palm of her hand. She slowly tore it away, giving him an amused look. "Your wish is my command, m'lady," he teased, running kisses down the side of her neck.
Riley coughed into her hand, which sounded an awful lot like 'whipped,' earning a shared laugh between the three girls.
"Well, Miss Jokester, what about you? You have yet to tell us your favorite Hogwarts memory," James pointed out, giving her a look.
She hesitated, glancing around at her six friends. Truth was, she didn't know how to pick just one. Because she had favorite moments that pertained to each and every one of the six people staring back at her. She could relay the first time she had met Lily back on the Hogwarts Express before they had even become roommates. She could talk about all of the times that James had been there for her when all she needed was a friend. She could tell them about the deep, meaningful conversation she had with Remus out on the balcony back in November about his lycanthropy when she had found out. She could mention the study breaks she had taken with Peter to the kitchens for chocolate. She could reference the three hour-long chats she shared with Kay back in February about Lance when Riley realized that Kay loved him. Or she could tell her friends about the moment she realized that Sirius Black was her soulmate back as a naïve fifteen-year-old.
She finally spoke. "It might sound cheesy and it might be somewhat of a copout, but I think this moment right here might top them all."
Yes, it was a bit cheesy. And yes, it was a copout. But no one bothered to argue because they couldn't help but agree. It was often those stolen random moments with friends that people inevitably ended up remembering in the future. None of them would end up forgetting that night for a long time. Not because it was momentous in any particular way. But because they were happy.
A smile crept on to her six friends' faces as they glanced around at each other, marveling at their close friendship. A friendship that really only blossomed that year. They couldn't imagine living their lives without each other and that was just one more thing they could thank Hogwarts for.
Eventually Remus spoke. "Well, I think that's definitely an 'aw' moment."
One by one, the seven friends slowly drifted off into a deep slumber. They had spent most of the night reminiscing on all of the other great memories that hadn't made the list. And they spent a good portion of the night reminiscing on some of the not-so-great memories that were still easy to laugh at. Not so surprisingly, the story of James and the chocolate sauce incident was once again retold. Once from Lily's perspective and once by James'. Needless to say, the two stories were quite different from each other but seven years had clearly muddled some of the details.
Eventually, Riley was the only one left awake. Not because she wasn't exhausted, but because it was impossible for her to even attempt sleep. Especially in the arms of Sirius, the one person who was making it difficult for her to make an important decision. She slowly wriggled out of his arms and tiptoed towards the balcony on the other side of the room, grabbing a free blanket on her way there.
She was surprised at how cold it was and felt a shiver run down her spine. She pulled the blanket tightly over her shoulders and rested her arms on the balcony edge with a sigh, closing her eyes. She could smell the crisp spring air, the breeze dancing through her hair. If she listened really carefully she could hear the ripples of the lake below her, gently lapping up against the grounds. But it wasn't the air or the breeze or the lake she was thinking about.
Her eyes fluttered open, stinging with the hint of tears. She pulled out the napkin that she had stuffed into her pocket hours earlier with the heading of "PRO-CON LIST" and sighed. The list hadn't done any good. She was still completely torn and wished that there was an easy answer. She crumpled it up and threw it over the edge, watching it as it leisurely soared towards the Hogwarts grounds. It looked like she'd have to make the decision all on her own.
She heard the door open behind her, but didn't bother turning around. A few seconds later, Sirius appeared beside her. He didn't say anything. He knew he didn't have to. He simply mimicked her by resting his arms against the balcony railing in front of him, following her gaze towards the lake. He didn't know what was bothering her, but he knew enough not to ask her if she was alright.
Riley didn't know how long they had stood there in silence, but eventually she turned towards him. "The Daily Australian Record offered me one of the spots for its annual fellowship."
Sirius' eyebrows shot up, a proud smile resting on his lips. "Riley, that's incredible," he whispered breathlessly.
He wasn't stupid. He knew the newspaper resided in Australia. He knew that meant they'd be away from each other for quite some time. But she wanted to be a journalist and this was an amazing opportunity so he truly was happy for her.
"It would be, if..." she trailed off, a lump forming in her throat.
The smile on his face slowly faded. "If what?" he dared to ask.
She felt her heart beating up against her ribcage in guilt and regret as she whispered, "If I didn't have to be there by next Saturday."
Sirius froze, his heart growing numb at the implication. He had been planning on at least spending the summer with her and now she was telling him they barely had six days together. "Oh," was all he could muster up.
She couldn't help the single tear that slipped down her cheek at the very thought of having to let him go. And as she forced herself to glance over at her boyfriend, she saw the unmistakable glint of regretful agony in his eyes.
Sirius took a deep breath in and asked the question he was most afraid to ask. "Are you going to accept it?"
She didn't respond immediately, her jumbled thoughts zooming through her mind with uncertainty. "I don't know," she whispered, her voice sounding hollow in the dark of the night.
Sirius was finding it hard to breathe. Her indecisiveness was making him fee slightly uneasy and nervous. They had just gotten back together and now he might have to say goodbye to her again. He didn't know if he was ready to do that, but he also knew that Riley couldn't let go of such a great opportunity. So it seemed as if they were both stuck.
He swallowed the lump in his throat as he leaned over the balcony with a heavy sigh, tearing his eyes away from her. "Well, neither do I," he eventually choked out.
She could tell he was disappointed, which was making her decision that much more difficult. She appreciated the fact that he wasn't pushing her to make the decision right then and there. She appreciated that he was giving her the time to think about it. She appreciated him in every way. So how could she say goodbye?
But how could she not when becoming a journalist had been a dream of hers since she was just a kid?
She didn't try to answer those questions. She just reached for his hand, ignoring the tears prickling the side of her eyes. "Can you just hold me?" she pleaded.
He slowly nodded and quickly wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She ignored thoughts of Australia and so did he. All they could do in that moment was hold each other and pretend as if everything was okay because neither knew how long that could last.
A/N: Busy, busy, busy chapter! A lot going on-some good, some not so good. But all necessary. Please review!
