Chapter 33 - Grief and Happy News:

(Roderick's POV)

At, and after, the funeral of her parents, Liz didn't cry or say much anything. She just acted normal. Which made me even more worried. The empty look in her eyes, as Irina and me, with our little brothers, Vladimir and Karl, respectively, came to her house to offer condolences, and to ask if there was anything we could do, didn't help my worry. I talked with Irina about it, and she shared my worry. Even through my worry for Liz, I was still touched that my beloved Irina cared so much for someone whom wasn't exactly her best friend.

As the days passed on, and became weeks, my, or anyone I talked to, worry only increased. When I saw her at the Open Day for the Summer Courses, I decided to take action. I called the one person I believed could break through her numbness.

-Roddy?

-Yes, it is I, Roderich. Gilbert, listen, I called you because of Elizaveta. She needs you.

-Me? What can I do? She needs time.

-Gilbert, she's here, now, at the Academy, for the Open Day.


(Gilbert's POV)

On any normal day, given any normal circumstances, seeing Eliza walk around HOTA whilst looking at the posters and stands that promoted the different Summer Courses, would've been completely normal, and expected.

But this wasn't a normal day, and these weren't normal circumstances. Roddy had been right, she needed someone, I wasn't so sure that someone was me. But, here I was.

I walked towards her.


-Hey there Eliza.

-Hey, Gilbert. I could tell that she was forcing her smile, it didn't reach her eyes. How are you? Isn't it fantastic how many courses you can take? No to mention how many you can choose from. The school really does it best to help you.

I could tell that her chattering was a way of covering up something.

-Eliza, it's okay if you're sad because of your parents.

She stiffened, and I could almost see her mentally retract into her metaphoric shell.

-Do you wanna go somewhere? We don't need to talk, we can just sit in silence. But you really need to stop pretending that everything's fine. I walked closer and said in a whisper. Because I can tell by looking at you, it isn't.

-Sure, we can go sit somewhere else. She said, purposefully ignoring my last remarks.

We sat down on a bench outside the Academy's walls. We just sat there, saying nothing. There were many things I wanted to say, if I could find the words. But there were times when silence was the best choice. This was one of those times.

-I'm not feeling guilty.

Eliza finally broke the silence, and after that the words just came tumbling out.

-I mean, I can't find anything to be guilty about. I told them goodbye like I always do when they drove me to our graduation. Hugging them and telling them that I loved them, even wishing them good luck and getting a good luck in return. And when I got to the hospital, they were still alive, on the brink of death, but still alive. They had been like that, ever since they got to the hospital, that's what the doctor told me. I got there in time to give them each a last hug and say a last goodbye. I don't feel guilty about their life support getting cut off, it was what they had wanted, and they were dying anyway. I'd and I've accepted that there was nothing anyone could do. I can't even find it in me to feel guilty about not having cried since right after they died. So, I just thought that if I acted normal, everything would be okay and work out.

She broke down and burst out,

-What's wrong with me?! I loved them, they were my world, and I can't even force myself to cry about it. I cried my heart out when Grandfather died, so why not now?

I waited until she had calmed down, before I answered,

-Nothing. There's nothing wrong with you. Everyone grieves differently. Everyone has their own way of grieving. This is your way of grieving.

I wasn't sure if she'd got the message, so I just kept repeating,

-There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you.

I think that it finally sunk in, because she nodded her head slowly.

Then she started shaking. Several sobs broke through, before she covered her mouth, and she shook even more. Tears fell from her eyes, and unto the ground.

I instinctively threw an arm around her. Which made her lean into me and cry on my shoulder. She needed this.


-You okay?

-Yeah.

-Do you believe me?

-No, but I will.

-What were you doing here anyway?

-By following my plan of acting normal, I was going to take as many Summer Courses as I could, before I attend the University of Amsterdam, taking both Art and Archeology classes, she answered, trying to look unaffected, but she looked as sheepishly as she probably felt.

-This year?

-Yes.

-I think you should take a year, at the least, of absence. Not to say that I'm telling you what to do, I hastily added.

-Gilbert, I don't know if you remember it, but you're my husband, we're married. It's kinda part of your job description telling me what do, especially since you're not really. You're just giving me a piece of advice that I should give more thought to than others.

-Is that what marriage means to you?

-It's what it meant to my parents.

-Marriage means to me; to gaze into each other with such force that you're almost touching, but not touching, not in front of other people at least. That's how my parents are.

-Then, by that definition, Irina and Roderich are already married.

-They've always been married, by every definition, except the ritual one.

-Which is where we excelled.

-I don't think you can call our drunken marriage in Las Vegas, for excelling.

-No, you're right there.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, before continuing,

-Gil, I want to be married to you.

-We already are.

-No, I mean, I want to tell everyone that we are. I want to live with you as a married couple, spend every day and night with you. Well, not every day and night, I'd still like my independence.

A less awesome person would take offense at that, but I didn't.

-Really? Are you sure you're ready for it?

-I've tried to persuade myself not to, so yes, I'm ready, she said awesomely understanding what I was implying.

-Ok, I agreed, and she turned away with a relieved smile, and Eliza, she looked at me, we'll be our own awesome definition of married.


When we got back inside the walls, we could see a big crowd waiting for us. It was all our friends, and their friends. We walked over to them.

-And I here I thought I was the only one Roddy had called. I said, feigning hurt.

-How are you? Irina asked Eliza, ignoring me. As it was unusual for her to be nice and attentive to Eliza, I could only assume that it was because of the circumstances and that she felt sorry for her. And probably a little because Roddy had prompted her. Ignoring the awesome me? Well, that's just usual for her. She doesn't like me very much. Don't know why.

-Better, now that I've talked to Gil.

-By the way, we've an announcement! I exclaimed, I didn't like the attention not being on me, plus attention had never been Eliza's favorite thing.

-We're married! Eliza said, before I could awesomely say anything, though I couldn't have said it better myself. But I wished that I did.

-Are you crazy?! Irina shouted, rounding at me. Roderich called you to get her out of her apathy, because he thought you knew her best, and knew what to do, and marrying her is the way you do it?!

-Perhaps we should move to a more quiet and secluded location? Kiku-kun, the calmer of our friends, suggested, noticing that several people were staring at us curiously.

Shuffling around, we finally found a secluded space big enough for all of us; the observatory.

As soon as we got inside, Eliza rounded on Irina.

-Don't talk like that to my husband! For your information; we were married long before today, and he did make me feel better, and the whole marriage thing has nothing to do with that!

-Oh, bollocks! Arthur cried out, that's what the phone call from Las Vegas was all about, innit? It wasn't that excuse you gave me about two drunken nights and hangovers in two consecutive days.

-Well, I'd just woken up from yet another drunken night, only this time to wake up married. I needed to talk to someone sane! And despite your drunken strip-tease, the night before, you're one of the saner people in our group.

-You were drunk when you got married in Vegas? Alfred asked disbelievingly. Isn't that a bit stereotypical?

-Which is one of the reasons that we didn't tell you. Although did you realize that the movies and TV series are right? There are drunken marriages that are validated. Ours included.

After a while, when we finally managed to convince everyone that no, we weren't delusional or anything like that, and yes, we were seriously married and wanted to stay that way, the congratulations came.

Awkwardly, and almost reluctantly, but they came. Roddy's was the warmest, unlike his girlfriend he seemed to think that marriage can solve anything, especially conflicts.


-Gil? Eliza asked as she loaded the final box into my car a month later. Do you think that I will ever get over it?

We (we're already a we couple!) had agreed that she should come along with me, as I left for Harvard Law School, where I would be majoring in Law Enforcement and minoring in History, specifically Prussian History. She'd arranged for Mr. and Mrs. Kirkland to house-sit her house for now, with all the remaining things inside, until she could do something more permanent to it. By then, we would probably have moved. Or be about to move.

-No, but you will learn to live with it.


Author's notes:

When I first wrote this chapter, some months ago, I was satisfied with how it'd worked out. But as it's due date neared, I've tweaked it a bit. I hope it's gone down well with you lot. Like the last chapter, I've based how Elizaveta is feeling on my own experience at losing someone close to me. I don't own Hetalia