here is the next chapter for you all, and it will definitely be a treat ^^ thanks to all those who've reviewed and followed, and I just want to let you all know I might have to slow down updates again later on. not only am I running out of chapters, but I've also recently gotten a job and I still need to figure out my schedule and such. hopefully, I won't have to slow down (i myself rather like updating twice a week), but I just thought I should give you all a heads up on what may happen.

please review though and let me know what you think about this! especially the first half ;) and a warning: there is the implication of mature activities involved.

Updated/spell-checked: 11/18/18


The Doctor soon had the Tardis land somewhere that he knew would be just perfect for his time with Alex. And if he was lucky, she wouldn't pop off anywhere before he could fix things between them. He had already dropped the Ponds off at another planet, informing them that they could stay at the resort planet until he makes up with Alex and picked them up. They agreed, though a little unsure at first, but he managed to convince them and now he just needed to convince Alex that she meant more to him than she thought. He really was honestly sorry for what had happened and for how she felt about the whole thing. And it killed him to know that even after they made up here, that his future self still managed to hurt her by making the same mistakes. But he vowed to himself that he would avoid flirting and other activities with other women, whether Alex was around or not. He owed her that much.

He glanced worriedly over at Alex as she sat in the jump seat, picking at her fingernails. Now if only I can convince her of that. He took in a deep breath and put his usual goofy smile on his face, hoping that a bit of normal Doctor behavior might help get Alex back into her comfort zone again after the little heart-to-heart (or head-to-head) they had just had.

"It's going to be a very easy-going trip. We'll pop in, look around, spend the night, enjoy ourselves a bit more, then go get Amy and Rory and head out on another adventure when you're ready. Sound good?"

Alex looked up briefly and nodded, before turning back to her nails. The Doctor's smile faltered slightly, but he knew what was going on. Alex was still down after what happened and he knew that she probably didn't feel up to doing much of anything, but he was hoping this planet would do the trick. Alex had shown him much more than she wanted to, so now she felt—not only embarrassed, but also very vulnerable. And the Doctor didn't want to trap her. He didn't want her to force herself to talk to him about what she'd shown him. He wanted her to tell him in her own time. And if the time was right, then perhaps he'd tell her some things as well. She'd given him a large piece of her past that made her who she was to him, so he should offer the same. Though, he knew she wouldn't want him to tell her under that reasoning, so he'd wait until they were both comfortable enough to speak with each other about things like that. That's what had been wrong with their relationship before. She gave him everything and he gave nothing in return. So, now was his chance to fix things, mutually.

He parked the Tardis where he wanted it and moved over to Alex, holding out his hand in the hopes that she'd take it as a sign of good faith, and trust in him despite her vulnerability. She hesitantly did and his big grin returned as he lightly tugged her to the door and showed her the view.

"Welcome, to Apalapucia."

Her eyes widened as she looked around the busy planet and the Doctor couldn't help the feeling of pride overcome him at picking the planet. Soaring spires skimmed the clouds from atop of buildings nearby and elaborate silver colonnades decorated homes, the Glasmir Mountains off in the distance showing up beautifully against the pinkish-purple sky that would begin to darken soon.

"Wow..." Alex breathed out, and that was good enough for the Doctor, who gave her hand a squeeze and smiled at her.

"So? Want to explore a bit?"

She nodded quickly, tugging him along through the bazaar they were in as she searched through the items the aliens around them were selling. This continued on for a while until the Doctor found someplace to eat and they sat down and talked— checking on Alex's leg as she pointed out different aliens and tried to figure out if she knew what species they were or not. They then continued to look around the bazaar when the Doctor spotted something. Alex had her back turned to him and was chatting up a friendly vendor about some sort of blue fruits they were selling, so the Doctor quickly went over to the small shop and haggled his way into getting a couple of rings. He'd only just managed to buy the pair before Alex started heading back towards him and he quickly shoved the two boxes into his pocket as she passed him a bright neon green fruit with a grin as she rambled on about said fruit— having missed the Doctor's purchase. Things quickly relaxed between them though, compared to their previous moods, and the Doctor managed to tug her over to a secluded cliff area overlooking a small beach to watch the sunset. It was a bit cheesy, as Alex had stated with a chuckle, but the Doctor didn't care as long as she enjoyed it. And once the sun set, the two laid back on the grass and stared up at the stars.

"Doctor?" Alex said softly, making the Doctor roll onto his side to face her, though she continued to stare up at the stars.

"Hm?"

"Do you think about me when I'm not around?"

"Course I do," he said, taking her hand in his and rubbing his thumb over the back of it. "I think about you and wonder if you would've kept me out of trouble or just got me into more." He chuckled, earning a roll of her eyes.

"Haha, very funny," she muttered before she sighed quietly. "Do you think about Rose?"

The Doctor saw where this conversation was headed, but he knew he needed to be honest, so he nodded. "Sometimes. I'll occasionally wonder how she's doing back in Pete's world or whether she'd like some of the places we've been. I think the same with Donna and my other companions too."

"And your family?" Alex asked, her gaze shifting to his hesitantly. "Your kids, grandkids... wife?"

His own expression slipped into a more melancholy one, his green eyes locking with her blue ones. "I will always miss my family, Alex. Just as you will always miss yours. Families are… unforgettable."

She slowly nodded, looking back up at the night sky. "Sorry, for bringing it up, I just…" She shook her head, pushing up off the grass to a sitting position. "I don't know."

The Doctor nodded in understanding, pushing himself up onto his elbows as Alex rested her chin on her arms and hugged her knees to her chest. Sometimes emotions were just too complicated to explain.

"Alex?" The Doctor spoke up, watching her reaction carefully as he spoke his next words. "Why did you never tell anyone about their words hurting you?"

Alex curled up a little further, but the Doctor waited patiently for an answer.

"I was..." She sighed softly. "I was always the good kid. The oldest of seven with good grades, an even temperament, decent friends. Never stepped out of line. My brother would come home late, borrow the car without asking, things like that. And my sister would go places without telling people and get with the bad boy types. But I never did any of that. I told my parents where I was going, who with, when I'd be back. I'd text them if I was going to be late. Never touched alcohol or drugs or thought of things like tattoos or piercings. I was the one all my siblings looked up to. So, crying wasn't much of an option. I had to be strong for them, so I could handle some hurtful comments. It was fine..."

She trailed off, but the Doctor didn't say a word, knowing that there was more.

"I just figured..." She went on, her hands clenched around the fabric of her pants. "...a few hurtful comments here and there was better than loosing friends. Better than being alone. That, by being myself and getting a tattoo or drinking or doing something rebellious like that… that I'd disappoint those who trusted me the most. I didn't want to be seen a-as weak because I let a few bad words get to me. And when I did..." She frowned a bit, tucking her head further down into her arms. "When I told them, my parents and stuff, they always thought I was joking. I guess it's my own fault though. I sort of… smile and laugh when I say it because if I'm serious, then they get serious and we somehow end up arguing and I end up crying and… Saying it the way I do… I'm serious, but it looks like I'm joking so, they misunderstand and… nothing really changes. I figure, if they did take me seriously, they'd lighten up for a month or so, and then forget we ever talked about it and they would start up again. I… didn't want to get my hopes up that they'd change for me, only for them to go right back to doing it again."

The Doctor's hearts ached sadly for Alex. That was the one question he'd had for her. The only thing he couldn't figure out from her memories and now that he knew the answer, he almost felt bad for asking. Not only that, but Alex reminded him a lot of himself. When he was the Tenth Doctor, Martha would bring up hurtful memories without even knowing it, and he'd joke around about it only for her to push on, because she didn't catch onto the serious undertone. And as he was now, he was almost always joking with a big grin on his face, despite the fact that he was hurting far more than anyone realized. Alex was the only one who could tell. He still didn't know how she did it, but she could always figure out when he was upset about something, and now he wished to do the same for her. He wanted to be able to see those tiny little calling cards of hers that would let him know when she was truly happy, or upset, or angry. And he would look for them now. He would ingrain them into his head— from the way her eyes sparkle when she's excited, to the way she gets quiet or distracts his attention to something else when she's upset or worried. He wanted to show her how much he loved and cared for her, and learning all about her would be the first step.

"Is there..." Alex trailed off, surprising the Doctor when she'd spoken again. "Is there any way you could… teach me?" She asked, turning slightly towards him. "Like Gallifreyan or about your family and planet and stuff?"

The Doctor blinked, honestly shocked. "You… You want to learn about that? All that… that boring stuff?" He wrinkled his nose then, suddenly thinking about his days learning at the Academy.

"I mean, it can't be that boring," she muttered, looking a little embarrassed. "You just… never really talk about yourself or anything. Y-You don't have to, if you don't want to," she said quickly, her face growing redder by the second. "I-I mean, it's personal information and all. I don't want you to get uncomfortable or anything. I-I just… The TV show version of this whole thing, it… doesn't really get into a whole lot of detail on a lot of things and… I never really watched the Classic version with your other regenerations, so I missed out on a lot… So, I just thought… maybe..." She shook her head then, red to the tips of her ears as she buried her head in her arms. "N-Never mind. Stupid question. J-Just forget I said anything."

The Doctor couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips at Alex's flustered state. He hadn't seen her like this since she was younger and it was definitely a change from the usual no-nonsense, more mature, older Alex.

"No such thing as a stupid question," he mocked, quoting her from earlier in the evening as he leaned in and kissed her softly. "And I would be glad to teach you. If—"

Alex groaned, making the Doctor smile once more.

"If you tell me more about your own life. We'll exchange stories and I'll teach you what I can about Gallifreyan. I don't know how easy it will be. It's a very complicated language. But I can at least show you a bit about the writing system." He made a face then, adjusting himself so that Alex was sitting in front of him as he hugged her from behind and leaned his head on her shoulder. "I'm almost certain that you would butcher the actual speaking of it."

"Hey!" Alex said, pouting indignantly and the Doctor laughed.

"I'm not insulting you, Alex! The language is just a bit too difficult for the human tongue. I could tell you something in Gallifreyan and you wouldn't even be able to begin to be able to pronounce it."

Alex frowned. "Try me. Say something and let me try to copy it."

"All right." The Doctor paused, humming to himself as he tried to think of something to say before he immediately knew.

He hugged Alex closer to him and spoke softly in her ear, his arms wrapped around her stomach with her back pressed up against his chest— silently hoping she couldn't feel how fast his hearts were beating through his shirt.

"ωιλλ ψου μαρρψ με?"

Alex furrowed her brows, mouthing what she believed to be the right pronunciation and trying it. "ωιλ… ωιλ ψο..."

Realizing with a pout that the Doctor was right and there'd be no way she'd be able to pronounce those words, she huffed.

"All right then, smarty pants. There's no way I'd be able to actually speak it. What did you say, anyway?"

The Doctor reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the silver engagement rings he'd just bought and brought it around so that it was in front of Alex.

"I said, will you marry me?"

He felt Alex stiffen in his arms and hoped that he hadn't just screwed everything up by asking her to marry him.

"Y-Y-You… You want me to… marry you?" She questioned, voice high pitched and tight.

The Doctor slowly nodded. "If… you'll have me... I mean, you don't have to! I-I just thought the timing was right and you wanted me to show you that you were special and I figured if I married you. No, ignore that bit. That was stupid. What I meant to say was—"

The Doctor's rambling was cut off as Alex suddenly turned around and tackled him to the ground, her lips on his in a passionate kiss. Whatever the Doctor had been about to say was lost, as he brought a hand up to Alex's cheek and his other hand wandered down to her waist, holding her close to him until she pulled away from the kiss— leaving the Doctor a bit flustered.

"Yowza," he breathed out as Alex turned a nice shade of red in embarrassment, muttering quietly.

"Um… s-sorry… I-I'm supposed to answer first, aren't I?"

"If you want." The Doctor smirked then. "Though I rather like this idea too."

The blush on Alex's cheeks grew even redder, making the Doctor laugh as she grumbled softly.

"Who are you? Jack?" She fidgeted then, giving him a nervous look. "Are… um… A-Are you sure?"

The Doctor tilted his head, confused at the sudden change in Alex's actions. "Sure?"

There. He caught sight of her swallowing and beginning to try and back off of him, immediately making him tug her closer once more, despite her looking rather uncomfortable.

"P-Picking me, I mean," she stuttered out, quickly going back to her previous nervous and depressed mood.

And the Doctor knew right away what was happening. She was doubting herself again. And he knew that if she continued, then she might very well back out of his proposal because of her insecurities. And he just couldn't let that happen. So, in one quick move, he reversed their positions, rolling her onto the grass and kissing her passionately. As he brought his hands up to her head, he made sure to show her just how much she meant to him, pressing some of his emotions into her mind as he deepened the kiss. Even going as far as to show her a few of the moments when he found her most beautiful. When she was laughing about something he'd said or done, when she discovered something new and wanted to show it to him, when he showed her something new. He wanted her to understand now, just how much he really cared for her, what he really saw her as. As that smart, charming, danger-magnet of a woman he'd fallen in love with all those years ago. And as he pulled away, he made sure to look her right in the eyes as he told her such.

"I love you, Alexander Holmes. I love your smiles and laughter and silly history facts that you say when you're nervous. I love your short red hair and your usual pants and hoodie combo. I don't care what everyone else has said, says, and will say about you, because you are unique. You are indescribable. And you make me want to see the universe all over again because you have, and will always make it something beautiful to me just by being around. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to show you just how much you mean to me, and I want to teach you my language, and tell you about my family. I..." He swallowed thickly, voice a little tight. "I want to have a family. And I want you to be a part of that."

Alex looked about ready to cry, tears welling up in her eyes and a small grimace formed on her face— making the Doctor's hearts sink as she spoke.

"I-I… Not to ruin t-the mood or anything. B-But I think I'm laying on my ring? A-And it kind of hurts," she finally said and the Doctor quickly bolted off of her and she sat up, picking the ring from off the ground behind her and holding it in her palm, brushing her fingers over it before she looked up at him. "You… really mean all of that?"

The Doctor nodded, very nearly getting whiplash from how quickly he was doing it, and he grabbed her shoulders seriously. "Every word! And—" He paused, furrowing his brows as he glanced at the ring in her hand and back at her. "And did you just call it your ring?"

A small smile started to form on Alex's face as she looked at the ring. "Suppose I did."

Adrenaline rushed through the Doctor's system as he sat up a little straighter— his hearts beating frantically in his chest. "So… does that mean..."

Alex rolled her eyes and slipped the silver ring on her finger. "Looks like you're stuck with me."

The Doctor grinned, beaming in happiness as he tackled Alex back to the ground, returning to their previous lip-lock. But the moment his hand started creeping up her shirt, she pulled away from him and gave him a look.

"Tardis?"

It took him a second to realize the situation they were in— getting a little heated out in the open on a cliff side and he wrinkled his nose with a nod.

"Right."

And, not willing to take his time waiting for Alex to hobble along with her leg, he quickly scooped her into his arms— enticing a yelp from her as she clung to his neck.

"Little warning would be nice, Casanova!" She scolded, making him laugh as he hurried back to the Tardis and pushed the door open with his foot.

"Warning? Now where's the fun in that?"


"Alex..."

I shifted slightly, not pleased about the soft voice by my ear interrupting my sleep.

"Alex, you need to get up."

I turned away from the tickling sensation on my ear and burrowed my head further under the blanket with a frown.

"Alex, I promised the Ponds I would pick them up today," the voice complained lightly with a soft sigh.

I turned over to glare at the shirtless Doctor, who smiled away like nothing was wrong with waking me up.

"Good morning," he chirped and I continued to glare silently at him until his smile faltered a bit.

"What's good about it?" I grumbled, turning back over as he whined louder and tugged at the blankets around my shoulders.

"Alex! It's a very good morning! I made breakfast, I let you sleep in, we're engaged—"

"We're engaged. That wasn't a dream," I groaned out, making him pout.

"Why are you saying it like it's a bad thing!"

I turned back around, giving him a look. "Do you know how much work something like a wedding is?" I suddenly sat up then with furrowed brows. "How would this work, anyway?"

"How would what work?" He asked, sitting up as well and immediately getting handsy as he tugged me into a hug.

"This wedding thing!" I said, flailing my arms a bit. "I mean, I pop off randomly and I show up randomly, and half the time it's a younger or older me! How are you going to know which me is the one you're supposed to marry?" I paled. "How am I going to know which you I'm supposed to marry? Much less how picking the date will work and then you've got invitations and choosing bridesmaids and a best man and..." I groaned, leaning back into his embrace, though I'd much rather flop back onto the bed. "Ugh, this is never going to work."

"Hey now. Don't say that. You're over-thinking it," he hummed, kissing me softly, though I continued to frown.

"No, I'm thinking logically." I squirmed a bit. "Now let me go so I can get some clothes on."

"But Alex~" He whined with a smirk, kissing down my neck as I tried to get out of his grip.

"Ah-ah. Nope. You said we needed to go pick up the Ponds, and you need to find some way for this wedding thing to work because I am not figuring this all out on my own. Got it?"

I finally managed to slip out from under his arms as he pouted childishly, and began pulling on some clothes. By the time I had on some jeans and one of the Doctor's dress shirts—something the Tardis gave me after I refused the leather jacket again—he was actually beginning to think about how this would work.

"What if… What if we had a sign!" He said excitedly, getting out of the bed to pull on some of his own clothes.

"What?" I questioned, very much confused.

"Well, you know that it will be this version of me and that it will have to happen after our last adventure in Venice. So, when you pop back up again, just make sure you're wearing the ring on your finger. The other, future yous, always had it on a chain around their necks."

I gave him a look as he nearly toppled over putting on his pants. "For good reason. What do you think will happen if I pop back with a younger you and he sees the ring? That will definitely bring up questions. Especially if it's the older Tenth version. Knowing you, you'd get all jealous because I can't tell you about it and then you'd go and throw a fit about it."

"I would not!" He complained, before thinking it over. "Okay, all right. I might. No ring then. What about..." He looked over at me then, the look in his eyes giving me chills. "...my name."

I furrowed my brows. "Huh? You mean, Doctor? How would that be a sign?"

He shook his head. "No, my name. You almost never say it, so it would be perfect."

"Alex still lost," I said, raising a brow. "Your name?"

He nodded, having finished putting on his bow tie and adjusting it. "Yup. My academy nickname."

My eyes widened as realization dawned on me. "Oh! You mean Thet—"

My mouth was suddenly covered and I gave the Doctor an odd look as he turned a little red and cleared his throat.

"D-Don't..." He pulled his hand away slowly. "You don't know how hard it is to hang onto my self-control when you say that name."

I couldn't help the smirk that overcame my face as an idea popped into my head and I walked around him to grab my coat.

"Well then, I suppose it sucks that we have to go and pick up the Ponds then, huh..." I paused by the open door, turning my head around to face his confused expression. "...Theta."

He physically shook as a chill went down his spine and I couldn't help the maniacal laughter that escaped my throat as I yanked on my coat and made a mad dash down the hall with him pounding after me.

"Alex! Come back here!"

"Never! I finally got all my clothes on!" I laughed, though, with my leg he soon caught up and had me pinned to the wall with a heated kiss as my shoulder started to ache.

"No," He whined against my throat as he tried to kiss as much of it as he could before I popped off, leaving him rather frustrated.


I popped up in a small area on top of some hay, to which I immediately grimaced.

"Ooh, hay. Don't like hay. Nothing good ever happens when I am around hay. Growing a second heart, that whole thing with Mels…"

I wrinkled my nose in disgust and stood up, brushing myself off only to freeze when I heard a snort. Swallowing thickly, I turned to see the backside of a horse— it's tail swishing back and forth in slight agitation and I hoped that I could get out from behind it without it noticing. After all, I'd rather not get kicked by a horse the moment I popped up somewhere. So, I slowly began inching my way around said horse, stopping only when the animal shifted. Of course, it was in that moment that a piece of hay tickled my nose and I mentally cursed the universe for putting me in this position. The moment I let out a sneeze, the horse freaked and I dove out of the stall as said animal kicked at me in fear. I felt a hoof clip my side and cringed at the pain—knowing that I would definitely have a bruise later—and I rolled to a stop on the ground outside with a sigh of relief. I cringed at the action, bringing a hand to touch my side with a wince, as a couple of young boys hurried in the stable and spotted me. I gave them a pain smile.

"Y-You boys wouldn't happen to have a doctor nearby, would you?"

They immediately helped me up and offered to take me to see the nurse of their school, which was a great help and gave me an idea of where exactly I was at in the Doctor's timeline, but mentally I complained. Stupid hay. Nothing but trouble. Every time. Sure enough, though, the school nurse was a familiar face and as I lifted up the side of my shirt for Nurse Redfern to check my ribs for possible fractures, a different kind of Doctor walked into the room.

"I heard some boys saw someone in the stables get kicked by a horse. Is he all right?" The Doctor—No, John Smith asked, spotting me with my shirt half up— the two of us turning a little pink as he quickly tried to back out of the room.

"Sorry! Didn't know I was intruding!"

Nurse Redfern, however, chuckled. "Mr. Smith! Surely you've seen a man's torso before, seeing as you are one. There is no need to be so embarrassed."

"R-Right. Course." He nodded, staying in the room, but keeping his back facing me. "Though everyone deserves some privacy. Don't want to be rude."

"You are an odd one, Mr. Smith," the nurse said, shaking her head slightly, putting pressure on part of my ribs as I cringed. "And what did you say your name was, sir?"

"A-Ah, Alex. Alexander Holmes," I said, trying to keep the pain out of my voice as she continued to prod me in the side. "And I'm terribly sorry about all this. I don't even remember how I ended up in that stable and if the hay hadn't tickled my nose and caused me to sneeze, I'm positive I would gotten out from behind that horse without injury. Heh."

"Holmes!" Smith said loudly, making me jump only to cringe once more as he turned around— quickly turning back upon seeing my shirt was still up. "I sent for you ages ago! I was wondering where you went off to."

I blinked, completely baffled as to the fact that the Doctor would remember me even when he was human, but his next words kind of hurt.

"You know him, Mr. Smith?" The nurse asked and he bobbed his head in a nod.

"He is my family's footman. Passed down to me in a similar manner as my maid. I'd nearly forgotten I'd called him if he hadn't just shown up now."

Great. In his head, I'm a guy. His footman at that. This'll be fun. I mentally groaned as the nurse eyed me in worry.

"Were you hit anywhere else, Mr. Holmes? I find it strange that you have no recollection of Mr. Smith, seeing as you're his footman. And you did mention having no previous knowledge of how you got in the stables. Perhaps you struck your head when you were kicked?"

"Ah, no. Sorry. I believe I may have possibly gotten a tad bit drunk last night when I'd gotten into town," I said, chuckling nervously as I came up with an excuse on the spot. "And i-it only took me a moment to recognize him. It's been a little while since I've last laid eyes on Mr. Smith, so my memory was a little foggy."

She nodded, seeming to accept that answer, only to brush her fingers lightly across the crescent-shaped scar on my stomach— making me stiffen and her to quickly look up at me in embarrassment.

"Ah! I'm very sorry, Mr. Holmes. I did not mean to overstep my boundaries, I was simply overcome by curiousness about your scar. It won't happen again."

I lowered my shirt and waved a hand. "O-Oh, no. That's quite all right. I find curiosity quite an endearing trait and it was nothing but an accident. The scar, that is. It's not that important. I'm actually a bit more concerned about my ribs?"

"Oh! Yes, of course," she said, myself mentally hoping my polite words hadn't come off as anything more than polite. "You should heal up all right within a week. You simply bruised the area around them and there's nothing broken. But if you start having more pain than usual, please come notify me so I can arrange a proper hospital visit."

I let out a sigh of relief, slouching slightly with a hand lightly draped on my side as John turned around with a grin.

"That's brilliant! I'm glad you're all right, Alex. We can go see the headmaster now that you've arrived, and get you a room to stay in. I'm sure Martha would appreciate the help."

I nodded and hopped off the bed I was sitting on, wincing only slightly at my ribs before following the Doctor out. Once I'd been given a room to stay in—rather easily, I might add—I headed out to find Martha in the hopes that she'd show me what shed the Tardis was in so that I could grab some clothes for my new job. Honestly, waiting on the Doctor hand and foot was not what I wanted to do when I got engaged to him. Speaking of engaged, I better tuck my ring away before 'Smith' spots it. Martha too. I doubt she'll be happy, especially if she has feelings for the Doctor. I sighed quietly and found a chain in my pocket that I slipped my engagement ring on, before putting it around my neck and tucking it into my shirt. As I rounded the corner though, I spotted Martha scrubbing the floor with the other maid— Jenny. I smiled a bit, glad to have someone I can talk to without having to worry about keeping a whole lot of secrets, and I went to call out to her, only to spot Baines and another boy speaking down to her.

"Uh, now then, you two. You're not paid to have fun, are you? Put a little backbone into it."

"Yes, sir. Sorry sir," Jenny replied as the other boy spoke to Martha.

"You there. What's your name again?"

"Martha, sir. Martha Jones."

"Tell me then, Jones. With hands like those, how can you tell when something's clean?" He laughed, just as I stomped over and spoke up loudly and sternly.

"Oi, you two prats!"

The boy blinked in surprise. "Sir?"

"You two are expected to possibly be running this country one day, am I right?" I demanded to know, eyes stern.

"Why, yes sir." He nodded, starting to act a bit sheepish as compared to his previous behavior.

"Then, tell me, how can any country possibly be run by two little kids like you who get fun out of bullying others. Hm? Do you know what would happen if every hotshot country decided to pick on the others?"

"N-No, sir."

"Kill a bee, and a thousand more will come after you," I stated, voice deadly serious. "Pick on Martha again, and you'll be sure to end up visiting Nurse Redfern by the end of the day. Is that understood?"

They exchanged worried glances.

"Y-You can't do that!"

I smiled, sickly sweet. "Oh, you'd be surprised what I can do, boys." The smile fell in an instant. "Now go to class."

They scampered off and I scoffed through my nose.

"Honestly, who gives some skimpy little brats the power to rule over someone?" I then turned around and smiled at Martha. "Hello, Martha Jones."

"A-Alex! What are you doing here?" She asked in shock.

I hummed, reaching a hand up to rub the back of my neck. "Other than telling some brats to piss off? You know, this and that. Woke up in a stable, got kicked by a horse, met Mr. Smith, and got hired as his footman. The usual."

"Footman?" Jenny questioned as Martha's eyes widened and she swiftly stood up.

"Kicked by a horse!"

I immediately cringed, only now remembering that Martha herself was a doctor and saying that would bring up some concern.

"Did I say that?"

"Are you all right! No broken bones! Fractures! Concussion!"

"Calm down!" I said, trying to relax the frantic Martha. "I'm fine. It only clipped me and all I've got is some bruising and soreness. Nurse Redfern assures me there's nothing broken. If you want to have a look, might I suggest elsewhere and possibly after you show me where the shed is?"

She looked confused for a second before it clicked and she nodded. "Oh! The shed! Yeah, I can do that." She turned to Jenny then. "Is it all right if I..."

Jenny nodded with a smile. "Of course. I'll cover for you here."

"Oh, thanks, Jenny." Martha smiled, hugging the woman before leaving with me towards the Tardis. Once we were out of earshot for the school though, she smacked me harshly on the arm.

"Ow!"

"You moron! Where have you been!"

"Um, I swear I already went over that," I said with a frown and she shook her head.

"No! After you disappeared on that spaceship hurtling into the sun! That was the last time we saw you! It's been ages for us! And you should've seen him! You'd think someone took the Doctor's favorite toy on Christmas or something!"

"Oh. So, I'm a toy now?" I questioned with a raised brow and she rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean! He won't even tell me what happened after I left you two!"

I thought back to that adventure and immediately winced, pretty positive that Martha did not want to know what happened. And I wasn't talking about the nearly dying part. Martha's supposed to have fallen for the Doctor. Rather hard too, from what I remember. Geeze, I'm just messing up everything, aren't I? And let's not even begin to consider how I'll screw up this adventure.

"Hello? Are you even listening?" Martha asked angrily and I blinked out of my reverie and gave her an innocent smile.

"No?"

That was the wrong answer, as I was soon hit again in the arm before we reached the Tardis and I made my way towards the wardrobe.

"Was that really necessary?" I complained, pulling out some outfits that the Tardis gave me—seeing as it hid every other possible one.

"It is when you're not listening," Martha grumbled. "What do you know about this whole thing? This situation?"

"Everything, really. You and the Doctor had a run in with the Family of Blood, some sort of hunter alien things who last a few months before dying off unless they have the Doctor. I'm paraphrasing, of course. Still need to read over the details," I hummed.

"And?" Martha pressed. "Do we get away? Does everything turn out all right?"

God, I wish people would stop asking that. I mentally drawled, rolling my eyes as I changed in a changing room into the three layers of a black and white butler-ish uniform.

"Honestly? If I were to put our situation on a scale of one through ten, it starts off as a one and becomes a ten in a matter of seconds."

"You're kidding, right?" She asked as I came out and tugged at my collar in annoyance. "A ten? This is a ten on a scale of one-to-ten?"

"Eh… compared to the other adventures I've been on that were tens, this is probably more of an eight." I turned to her then. "Mind you, the last 'level ten' I was on, we were being chased by vampire fish aliens in Venice and I was left to bleed out in a jail cell. And the ten before that, there was a t-rex in the Thames in Victorian England that was brutally murdered because some android Clockworks needed a new part and the Doctor had completely forgotten who I was due to regeneration issues. And the time before that my head was taken over by Cybermen and—"

"All right! All right. Got it. This is a 'level ten' for me, a 'level eight' for you. I didn't need the rant, you know. A simple explanation would've worked."

I chuckled as we left the wardrobe. "Sorry. I've been with the Eleventh Doctor. He rambles. Oh! And can you check out my leg too? Those fish aliens I mentioned before sort of grabbed a hold of it."

She sighed as we headed off to the med bay. "I see why the Doctor likes you so much. You're both just giant magnets for trouble, aren't you?"

I saw my chance, and I took it.

"Do you like him? The Doctor, I mean," I asked, none too subtly either.

"W-Where did this come from?" She asked as I hopped up onto a bed and allowed her to take off the bandages around my calf to look at my wounds.

"Just, uh… Just curious," I said, technically telling the truth, though there was more to it than that. "You just didn't sound too happy earlier when you asked me where I was and I figured that maybe you were a little bit… jealous?"

I immediately winced at my words, scolding myself for being stupid enough to say them out loud, much less to Martha.

"S-Sorry. I didn't mean to make that sound—"

"Yeah," Martha suddenly said, replacing the bandages on my calf as she kept her gaze off mine. "So, what if I am jealous? You two are always going around and laughing and talking about things I don't even understand half the time, and I've seen the way he looks at you. And sometimes I wish he'd look at me that way. I wish he'd look at me and see someone brilliant and smart and pretty, but when you're around, all he looks at is you. And when you're not, it's like my existence doesn't even matter because all he thinks about is you. Why'd he have to go and fall in love with a human who wasn't me?"

I felt really guilty then. I'd never thought that Martha would feel this way about the Doctor and me, and I felt even worse knowing that I was keeping our engagement a secret from her. I feared that if I told her about it now though, it'd be kicking her while she's down, and I didn't want that. I did, however, vow to tell her when we were on slightly better terms with one another. That, and I honestly wanted to be good friends with Martha. Sure, she wasn't my favorite companion in the series back home (that spot was taken by Donna), but I liked her. She was strong and stubborn and kept the Doctor on his toes, and to find out that this is how she felt about me kind of hurt. And I really wanted to change that.

"Martha?"

She ignored me, pulling my pant leg back down over the bandages on my calf and gesturing to my shirt.

"Can you take that off, so I can get a good look at your ribs?"

I begrudgingly did so—not really wanting to take off the three layers of clothing after just putting it on, but doing it anyway—and once it was off, I tried once more.

"Martha? Have I ever talked to you about the Doctor and Rose?"

I let out a yelp when Martha pressed a little too hard on my bruised side, and she apologized.

"Sorry… And no. You haven't."

"Heh, I guess you're in for a surprise then, because the Doctor never really liked me when he was with her. Hated me, actually. Threatened to feed me to a werewolf and toss me to a bunch of Daleks."

She scoffed. "Yeah right. He'd never do that to you."

I shook my head, my small smile slipping into a sad expression as I remembered everything that happened to me when I had been around the Ninth and Rose-Tenth.

"No. He did. You remember Manhattan."

Martha frowned. "Yeah, but he went right on after you."

I shook my head, wincing as she checked my ribs. "Only because I stood up for myself. Usually, when I was with him and Rose, I was younger and still new to this whole popping around thing. New to the whole running from danger and aliens and stuff. And you've seen how the Doctor is when someone knows more about something than he does. Now imagine him meeting me for the first time, finding out about my foreknowledge, and realizing there were things I could've done to save people. To change things where no one had to get hurt. He would've been angry, and he was. More than angry, actually."

Martha still didn't believe me. "Sure, but he'd never threaten to give you up to the Daleks."

"You don't understand, Martha," I said solemnly as I began putting my clothes back on. "This was one of those days where nothing was going right. Where it was a whole army of Daleks versus four of us and a hundred or so civilians. And the only way for any of us to walk out of there alive, was if something happened to Rose. Something that I allowed to happen to her because I had no other choice, and that made the Doctor hate me for a long while. Because as much as I cared for the Doctor, he loved her, and I put her in danger. So, he threatened to throw me to the Daleks, he yelled at me and cursed me and tossed me aside, and then he left me there. He took Rose, got in the Tardis and left. And I don't know when the next time he saw me was. But when I met him after that, he tried to throw me out to be ripped apart by a werewolf because I was too young to even think about ways to save people without ruining the chances of everything working out all right. And not once could I get him to understand what I was trying to do for him. Even if the other, future Doctor's told me they cared about me, I still had to go back there and deal with the same man not even looking my way unless he was angry about something I'd done. So… I guess what I'm saying is, I get what you're going through and I'm sorry. But I want you to know, that he cares for you a lot and there will come a time in the future, where he shows that. Where he'll trust you enough to put everything in your hands and it won't be the last time."

Martha was quiet for a moment, before speaking again. "That ring. It's from him, isn't it..."

I went to ask 'what ring', but then I remembered I had taken off my shirt for her to check my bruise and had forgotten about the ring hanging around my neck. Sheepishly, I lowered my head and lifted it up off my chest, letting it rest in my hand as I nodded.

"Yeah. The... Eleventh gave it to me. We had a fight and… things got complicated. I stopped thinking he cared, so he took me out to some planet and… he proposed. I was going to tell you, the conversation just wasn't really… you know."

She nodded and I hesitantly tried to think of something else to say to make this situation a little less awkward, but she spoke up first.

"You know what? I'm actually fine with it."

I turned to her in confusion, silently questioning whether I was hearing things or not.

"Seriously," she reaffirmed. "I can't say I'm not jealous, but… I think at some point I started to realize I didn't have a chance with him and you two were just… I don't know, made for each other. With all the crazy situations you two end up in, I'm surprised he hadn't tried anything earlier with you. That kiss you two had on the spaceship this last time probably should've clued me in."

I flushed a bright cherry red. "Y-Y-You saw that!"

"Believe me, I wish I hadn't," she said, the two of us looking at one another, before we both began laughing.

"L-Look at us! We're ridiculous!"

"You're telling me! How do you put up with him? It's always, 'Let's go here!' 'Ooh, I know, let's go there!' 'Or maybe we should go here!' I swear you'd think he'd never slow down."

"He never does!" I laughed back and once the two for us calmed down a bit, Martha stuck out her hand.

"Friends then?"

"Do you have to ask?" I smirked, shaking her hand, glad that we'd made up without too much of an issue.

That being said, when we returned to the school only to hear about John falling down the stairs, Martha and I made a mad dash up to his room and burst in as Nurse Redfern was checking on him.

"Is he all right!" We both asked, making the nurse turn to us with disapproving looks.

"Excuse me, Martha, Mr. Holmes. It's hardly good form to enter a master's study without knocking."

"Sorry. Right. Yeah." Martha moved back to the door and knocked on it, before repeating her question— myself holding back a snicker at the nurses face. "But is he all right? They said you fell down the stairs, sir." She said to John as I gave him a worried look as well.

"We're just concerned. I mean, honestly, I only stepped out for a second and you're already causing people trouble?"

He smiled a little at that as the nurse shook her head slightly.

"He's hardly trouble, Mr. Holmes."

"Oh, Alex is fine, Nurse Redfern. Mr. Holmes makes me sound all dignified and I'm hardly that."

"On the contrary," she argued. "I think you're very dignified. Least you're not falling down stairs."

John pouted childishly. "It was just a tumble. That's all."

"Have you checked for concussion?" Martha asked Nurse Redfern, who looked a little affronted.

"I have. And I daresay, I know a lot more about it than you."

"You shouldn't be so quick to judge, Nurse Redfern," I said, standing up for Martha. "Age, skin color, sex, race, sexuality. None of that should be used to take privileges from people. All people should be allowed to learn and have knowledge of things. Martha included."

The Nurse eyed me as I wandered over to John's bookshelf and Martha muttered something about tidying things up before John cleared his throat awkwardly and began speaking.

"I was just telling Nurse Redfern—" He corrected himself. "Matron, about my dreams, Alex. I've yet to tell you since you just arrived, but they are quite remarkable tales. I keep imagining that I'm someone else and that I'm hiding."

"Hiding?" The nurse asked. "In what way?"

"Um, they're almost every night," John said, not answering her question as he chuckled. "This is going to sound silly..."

"Tell us," I encouraged, wandering over and helping Martha sort things out on his desk. "They can't be much sillier than some of my own dreams."

"I dream, quite often, that… that I have two hearts," he stated and I stiffened, very nearly dropping the papers in my hands as I realized I had had a very close call earlier with the nurse.

Thank God she didn't check my heart rate or my breathing, or we might very well of had a problem. I mused, doing my best to avoid watching the two of them and ignoring the stirring of jealousy in my stomach.

"Well then, I can be the judge of that. Let's find out," Nurse Redfern said, taking out a stethoscope and pressing it up against both sides of John's chest. "I can confirm the diagnosis. Just one heart, singular."

She smiled at him and then turned to me. "Ah, I best check your breathing, Mr. Ho—" She paused, correcting herself. "Alex. I believe I may have forgotten to earlier."

"A-Ah, t-that's all right, Nurse Redfern," I stuttered out, picking up some papers I ended up dropping as my fears came true. "I feel perfectly fine. I'm sure we could skip that bit."

"Nonsense," she said sternly, gesturing to come over towards her. "It's always important to check for possible obstructions in your breathing pattern after having something like that happen. I don't know how it slipped my mind earlier."

I gave Martha a slightly desperate look, but even she had no idea how to get out of this one and I reluctantly approached the Matron as she pressed the stethoscope to the left side of my chest.

"Breathe in, deep as you can."

I did, cringing slightly as my side ached.

"And out."

I let it out and she brought the stethoscope to the opposite side of my chest just as a loud bang rang out and we all jumped, quickly turning to where Martha was as she started picking up a pile of books from off the floor.

"I'm so sorry!" She apologized, giving me a pointed look. "They just slipped."

I caught her hint and hurried over, away from Nurse Redfern. "Here! I'll help." I then spoke in a whisper to her. "Thanks."

"You owe me," she muttered back and I gave her a small smile, missing Nurse Redfern's slight frown at my back as John spoke up again.

"I have, um, I have written down some of my dreams in the form of fiction. Um, not that it would be of any interest."

"I'd be very interested." The nurse smiled at him, though John had glanced at me briefly with what I believed to be disappointment, though I wasn't sure.

"Well, I've never actually shown it to anyone before," John admitted sheepishly, getting up and passing her a small book, before turning to me. "You're welcome to look at it too, Alex."

I nodded, wincing slightly as I got up and placed some books down on his desk— my side not appreciating the labor. "Perhaps after Nurse Redfern, I will read it."

"'Journal of Impossible Thing,'" the woman read, flipping through the pages as Martha and I grew more curious and tried to sneak a peak. "Just look at these creatures. Such imagination."

"It's become quite a hobby." John smiled softly as the nurse turned to another page.

"It's wonderful. And quite an eye for the pretty girls."

"Oh no, no. She's just an invention. This character, Rose. I call her, Rose. Seems to disappear later on," he said, steadily growing a little upset as I cleared my throat and went over to his desk to tidy up a bit more.

Martha stared at my back, but said nothing as John went on pointing things out to the nurse.

"Ah, that's the box. The blue box. It's always there. Like a, like a magical carpet. This funny little box that transports me to far away places."

"Like a doorway?"

"Mm."

"More like a ship, I would think," I blurted out, mentally scolding myself for speaking up in defense of the Tardis.

Like she would know he called her a magic carpet. John though, snapped his fingers and nodded at me with a grin.

"Exactly! Like a ship!"

The nurse then pointed out another picture. "Who's this then? It almost looks like Alex."

"Huh?" I questioned, heading over with Martha to see a drawing for someone in a long coat and short hair, their head turned slightly to look over their shoulder with their back facing us— the only portion of their face drawn being a small sad frown.

"Yeah, it kind of does, doesn't it," John mused, before pointing at a small bit of writing around the image. "I call her 'The Seer'. Silly, right? A woman with such short hair? She seems to pop in and out of my dreams though. Always constant, always there. Though I didn't seem to like her at first, but we became good friends later on in the dreams. I think she might have saved my life a few times, even. She has this, this foreknowledge of things to come. Like a, like a psychic of sorts. But she's also very sad. And I've always seen her alone. Never any family or friends or that sort of thing." He gazed down at the picture softly and I swallowed thickly to try and stuff my emotions back down into that box inside me— knowing that now wouldn't be the best time to go, 'Yeah, that's me!'.

"She sounds… amazing," I said instead, making John turn to me with a nod.

"Oh, she is. She most definitely is." He smiled. "I sometimes think how magical life would be if stories like this were true."

"If only," the nurse said as John nodded.

"It's just a dream." He chuckled as a bell rang and I frowned, looking down out at the yard.

"But along with dreams there always comes nightmares."

"You're always such a downer, Alex. Cheer up!" He said, coming over and patting me roughly on the shoulder as the nurse set the book back down on his desk with a small smile.

"I best be going. Have to go check up on Jenkins again."

"Ah, but take the book!" He said passing it back to her.

"Oh, but I couldn't."

"No, please." He smiled. "I want you to read it. You know, um, tell me what you think."

She slowly smiled back and nodded, taking the book with her. "All right. Thank you… John." She then turned to me with a smile. "Alex."

"Nurse Redfern," I hummed with a bob of my head, but she paused in the doorway.

"Joan. Joan is fine."

I nodded politely once more. "Joan, then."

"Take care of yourself," she said, before giving me a stern look. "And no heavy lifting with that injury."

"Yes, ma'am," I chirped with a mock salute and a small smile, earning a chuckle from the woman as she left and Martha excused herself to chase after her.

What I didn't expect, was John's comment to me after they were both gone.

"She seems to fancy you. Nurse Redfern, that is."

I rounded on him with a shocked look. "What? No. She doesn't… right?" I grimaced and he raised a brow as he prepared to go teach his next class.

"You make it sound as though her pleasantries towards you are a bad thing. Are you not interested? She is a stunning woman, so I don't see why you wouldn't be."

Oh dear. My fiancé trying to hook me up with a woman of all things. There are so many things wrong with this picture, I don't know where to start. Oh, I know! How about with the fact that I'm engaged to him and I'm a freaking woman myself! And let's not even think about how this will screw up the plot. As much as it kills me to say it, he's supposed to love Nurse Redfern. Oh, this is definitely going to complicate things. I mentally panicked as I tried to come up with an excuse for the ever curious John.

"I-It's not that. She's a lovely woman, it's just… I'm not really interested in… well… women."

Once again I mentally smacked myself, especially since I hadn't the slightest idea of how people in this time would look at homosexuality—though that's not exactly what it was, seeing as I was a woman, but that's not what they would think.

"W-What I mean is, I-I don't really think I'm ready for a relationship right now."

John quickly waved his hands about. "No, no! I understand! Alex, we've been footman and master for years! If you only care for men, then that's fine! I won't be offended or persecute you in any way! We're friends, are we not?"

I nodded, though hesitant about this whole thing, and feeling rather stupid and embarrassed as well, but John just smiled and pat my shoulder before heading out to his class. I spent the rest of the day doing my footman duties up until evening came and John invited me out to get a drink with him. I accepted, albeit reluctantly, and tried to drown some of my worries with alcohol, but John cut me off after a time and walked me outside to see Martha, Jenny, and Joan standing around looking scared.

"Anything wrong, ladies? Far too cold to be standing around in the dark, don't you—"

Joan cut him off. "Look! There! Look in the sky."

She gestured up at the sky where something streaked across it and I stared up at it dazedly as Jenny spoke.

"Oh, that's beautiful."

"All gone," John said. "Commonly known as a meteorite. It's just rocks falling to the ground, that's all."

"It came down in the woods," Joan insisted as John shook his head.

"No, no, no, no. They always look close, when actually they're miles off. Nothing left but a cinder. Now, I need to escort Alex back to the school. He's had a bit much to drink and I should escort you as well." He said to Joan, before turning to Martha and Jenny. "Ladies?"

Martha shook her head, eyes still on the sky. "No, we're fine, thanks."

"Then, we shall bid you goodnight," he said with a bob of his head, but I stayed where I was a moment longer, speaking seriously—or as seriously as I could while drunk.

"It's there. You can't see it, but it's there. Don't find it, or they'll find us, Martha Jones."

She furrowed her brows in confusion, going to ask me about it, but John wrapped an arm around my shoulders and tugged me along.

"Come on, Alex. Don't embarrass yourself. You remember last time," he scolded me lightly as I frowned in confusion.

"Last time? What? What happened last time?" I gasped then. "No! I didn't kiss somebody again, did I!"

"And we're off!" John said, hurrying me away as Martha chuckled behind us at my drunken actions and I continued to pester the Doctor.

"Was it a man? Oh, I bet it was."

He simply sighed and pushed me along as Joan even let out a chuckle.

"He's quite something when he's a bit drunk, isn't he?"

"You're telling me," John groaned as the three of us headed back to the school, not knowing of what was lurking just inside the woods.


I woke up the next morning with a hell of a hangover, not remembering much of the night before other than the fact I'd told John I was gay and had apparently drunk my troubles away over that fact. I sat up in bed and immediately rushed to the bathroom where I vomited and groaned in complaint— staying there until I was able to get up without feeling the need to empty my stomach again. This 1913 whiskey is strong stuff. I don't remember the last time I was that drunk… though I suppose that's expected. I think it was when I was with Mels and tried some weird cocktail mix she'd come up with and called 'blackout'. I groaned again as I got dressed and brought a hand to my head, opening my bedroom door only to very nearly run into Joan.

"Oh, my apologies. I was just about to knock. I, um..." She held up a glass of water and another glass of something that smelled rather foul. "...thought you might be a bit hungover from last night and brought one of my mother's remedies. It doesn't taste the best, but it works wonders, I've been told."

I nodded, lowering my hand from my head and taking the glass— chugging it down before quickly grabbing the water and chugging that down as well in order to get the taste out of my mouth.

I coughed, clearing my throat with a wrinkle of my nose. "Oh, that is… That is foul."

"I did warn you." She smiled as I mentally smacked myself and bowed my head in thanks.

"Sorry. Thank you, Joan. Um, I wouldn't have happened to have… done anything strange last night, would I?"

She chuckled, making me groan quietly.

"Oh, I did, didn't I?"

"It was nothing, Alex. Honestly. Though you may have admitted to having kissed a man while you were drunk once before and..." Her smile faltered slightly. "...a number of women as well."

I immediately waved my hands. "No, no, no! It's not what you think! They kissed me! I-I didn't want to! They just seem to like me a lot, is all! Women, I mean..."

God dammit! There I go again! Bad Alex! Bad! Stop flirting! You just scolded your fiancé for doing the same bloody thing! You can't be doing it now too! I turned a nice red shade and brought my hand up to hide my face as I groaned.

"I'm just going to shut up now."

Joan chuckled though, not seeming too bothered and that just made my face get redder as I realized nothing I was doing was helping my cause. And by cause, I meant trying to not inadvertently flirt with women. I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck nervously as I followed Joan out of the school to the shooting range, where I winced at the noise and silently questioned why John let me sleep in until mid-afternoon. Not that I'm not grateful or anything, but it does seem a little strange. As Joan and I approached the grounds though, I frowned out at the boys using machine guns on sandbag targets with metal buckets for heads. I could just barely make out Latimer's comment of how the targets they were shooting at only had spears and felt my hearts sink at knowing what they were going to go through this upcoming year.

"Teaching boys like that how to fight and kill people… it's just not right," I muttered, not knowing that Joan had heard me.

"Well, yes, but they need to be able to protect themselves should war come upon us."

I shook my head. "That doesn't make it right. Nothing does. Even the enemies have families and people who care about them."

"You're right. I suppose I'm only trying to convince myself with such words…" Joan grew solemn at my words, but then glanced up. "And what about you?"

"Hm?" I hummed in question.

"Do you have someone who cares about you? Family or, or friends? A lover, even?"

I shook my head, a bitter smile on my face. "No family. They're all gone now. Not really many friends either. I don't get to see them a lot." Not with me popping off everywhere. "But… I have John. And… that's all I need, really."

She nodded with her own slightly bitter smile. "You two are really close, aren't you?"

I chuckled a bit, trying to lighten things up. "Oh yes. Closer than most people would think."

I absentmindedly brought my hand up to my chest where my engagement ring rested but caught sight of Joan's saddened expression as she looked out onto the field. I went to say something, remembering only now about her deceased husband, but John bounded over, happy as ever.

"Ah, Nurse Redfern! Alex! Good to see you up and about. I figured some extra rest might do you good after how much you drank last night."

"Right. Sorry about that. Was just feeling a bit off, I suppose."

He gave me a knowing look before Joan spoke up.

"Um, I'll give you back your journal, when next I see you."

"No, no, no. You don't have to," John replied, looking at her in worry as I did the same.

"Ah, if you'll excuse me, Mister Smith, Alex. I-I was just thinking about the day my husband was shot."

She started to head off and I gave John a concerned look, but he nodded his head over at her.

"Go on. Go after her," He pushed and I grimaced.

"Go after her? John, I thought I explained this. I'm not interested in her like that and she's already getting the wrong idea."

"Well, you can't just let her go off like that," He argued and I groaned.

"Fine, but you're coming with me."

"Oh, now Alex, I can't—"

"You're coming with me, and that's final," I hissed at him, grabbing his arm and tugging him after Joan. "I'm not dealing with a crying woman on my own, thank you."

"You're making me wonder who the master is in this relationship of ours, footman," he joked, though a dark red blush trailed up my neck and to the tips of my ears.

Bad mind! Bad! Why do you have to—Ugh! Just stop it! I demanded from my dirty mind, before we caught up with Joan and offered to take her out into the town to try and cheer her up a bit. Though, knowing me, I'll somehow get roped into something. Well… let's see how much the universe hates me today…


(Alex will be referred to as 'he' in this POV)


John walked alongside Alex and Joan through the small town, hands behind his back and listening silently as Joan spoke of her deceased husband fondly. He wasn't focused on her though. For some reason, he kept glancing at Alex as the footman listened attentively to what Joan was saying; despite what he'd said about not being interested in the woman.

"His name was Oliver. He died in the battle of Spion Cop. We were childhood sweethearts," Joan said, taking a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh. "But you see, I was angry with the army for such a long time."

"You still are, aren't you?" Alex muttered softly, being careful about what he was saying, so as not to upset Joan.

"I find myself as part of that school watching boys learn how to kill."

John spoke up then. "Don't you think discipline is good for them?"

"Does it have to be such military discipline? I mean, if there's another war, those boys won't find it so amusing," she snapped at him and Alex sighed softly.

"Killing is never right, John, and while discipline might be good for unruly boys such as them, they're too young to understand that what they are learning is something very serious. Taking a life is very serious and it changes you in ways that boys like that shouldn't have to experience for many years. If at all."

John's gaze softened as he took in Alex's words, understanding that he was very passionate about such topics as death. So, John decided to try and end said conversation.

"Well, Great Britain is at peace, long may it reign."

"In your journal, in one of your stories, you wrote about next year. 1914," Joan brought up and he winced.

"That was just a dream."

"All those images of mud and wire. You told of a shadow. A shadow falling across the entire world," Joan continued and John struggled to find the right words to say as he caught sight of Alex's expression falling.

"Well then, we can be thankful it's not true. A-And I'll admit mankind doesn't need warfare and bloodshed to prove itself. Everyday life can provide honor and valor. And let's hope that from now on this, this country can find its heroes in smaller places," he said, before spotting a couple of men struggling with a piano and a woman with a stroller headed their way. "In the most..." He saw a boy beside them with a cricket ball in his hand and barely noticed Alex taking in the scene as the piano slipped a bit. "...ordinary of… of deeds..."

He grabbed the cricket ball from the boy as Alex bolted across the road towards the woman, and he threw the ball so that it bounced off some piping. The piping fell and hit a board, which sent a brick flying through the air, which knocked over a milk jug and startled the woman pushing the stroller, just as Alex reached her and pulled her and the stroller away from the piano as it fell. Alex quickly asked the woman if she was all right as her baby started crying and a workman came over to double check on her as well. What John didn't expect though, was for Alex to ask permission to hold the crying child and take the little boy out of the stroller to cheer him up. There was just something about watching Alex holding up the little boy with a big grin on his face as the child let out little gurgles that pulled at John's heart— making him smile as well when Alex made the baby wave with its pudgy arm.

"Lucky," John breathed out as Joan turned to him in disbelief.

"That was luck?" She chuckled, before looking back at Alex as he handed the child back to his mother. "And Alex… he's rather good with children, I see. Does he… have any of his own?"

John shook his head. "Oh no. No, no. Just adores kids, is all. Came from a big family. Oldest of seven, if I remember right. Child rearing is just his calling, I suppose."

"He'd make a great father," Joan said softly, making John nod.

"That he would. He would make an excellent… parent..." John paused then, feeling something stir in his stomach, though he was extremely hesitant about the emotion before he shook his head and turned to Joan. "Will you be at the dance this evening?"

"Well, I'm not really sure."

"Hm, how about this? You come, and I'll see about getting Alex in too. He doesn't dance much, but I'm sure you'd both like the company."

Joan smiled slightly, nodding. "Then, I will be there. Thank you, John."

He nodded, though his smile was a bit forced. "Welcome."

There was just something about getting Alex and Joan closer that bothered him, though he couldn't figure out why and he hoped that whatever it was went away, and soon. That being said, Alex soon returned and joined them and the three of them made their way back towards the school, talking idly about things such as John's throwing arm or Alex's knack for running headfirst into possibly dangerous situations. It wasn't until they were back at the school though, that Joan had to head off and take care of a boy who'd apparently took a nasty fall, and John and Alex were left on their own.

"Alex?"

"Hm?" He hummed, though John could tell he was distracted by something.

"Could I possibly sketch you?"

Alex's head whipped around quickly and John wondered how he didn't get a kink in his neck. "M-Me? Don't you mean Joan?"

John frowned, brows furrowed in confusion. "No. I want to sketch you."

"Um… a-all right. If that's what you want."

John grinned, grabbing Alex's hand in his excitement as he pulled him towards his study. "Perfect! Come on then!"


I sat stiffly, trying to relax, but finding myself unable to as John sketched me. After what seemed like ages, he lowered the book and I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.

"Can I move now?"

He chuckled, moving over to sit on the couch beside me. "Course. I'm done. Want to have a look?"

I nodded and took the journal from him to see the sketch he'd done. It was absolutely stunning. He'd drawn me almost perfectly, but it seemed to me to be almost too perfect.

"Is that… really me?"

"Do you like it?" He asked, voice soft and I nodded.

"Y-Yeah. It's just… seems a little… different."

"Different?" He questioned. "Different how?"

I shook my head. "I-I don't know. It's just sort of… amazing, I guess. I mean, I hardly look that stunning. Beautiful, even. I-I'm nothing special."

There's that doubt again. God, it's suffocating. Like I'm standing at the bottom of a pool and watching everyone else swim around me easily as I'm stuck in one place with nowhere to go, the pressure weighing down on me with every odd glance or hurtful comment aimed my way. I took in a stuttering breath as I shook my head, bringing a hand to it as I tried to control my depressing thoughts.

"Sorry. I-I should, um, tidy your things or some—"

"You are special, Alex," He said, cutting me off as he grabbed my wrist and stopped me from getting up. "I don't know what it is, but… there's this feeling I keep getting. Like you're so much more to me than anyone else. And I don't understand it, but I do see it. Feel it. When you rushed after that woman and picked up that child, I just… everything slipped into place like a puzzle piece and… and..."

His eyes looked over my shifting back and forth as though searching for something before he leaned in.

"Joh—"

My voice was cut off as he pressed his lips to mine, lingering there for a moment before he pulled away slightly and spoke in a breathy whisper.

"I-I've never, um..."

I cut him off this time as I brought my hand up to the side of his face and kissed him in return. His free hand trailed up to hold my side as I deepened the kiss, just as the door opened and two people stormed in.

"Mister Smith, I—"

John and I pulled away from each other as we stared with wide eyes at Joan and Martha, to which John immediately waved his hands about in a panic.

"N-Nurse Redfern! This isn't what it looks like!"

I suppose I should've felt hurt at those words, but my mind was suddenly running a hundred miles an hour as I came to the realization of what just happened. Oh my god. I ruined it. Everything. The plot is just a-a mess! Joan isn't in love with John, because John apparently loves me a-and I don't know what to do! John's not the Doctor! Right! O-Or is he! I-I don't know what to do! Who's going to get threatened if it's not Joan! Me! Joan had run out then and I stood up, hardly hearing John as he spoke and I put a hand to my head.

"I-I need a minute. S-Sorry."

I took off out of the room and out of the school, running breathlessly to the Tardis and vaguely hearing Martha calling out to me from behind. I burst into the Tardis, the ship opening the doors for me before I even got close, and I scrambled to the videotape of the Doctor, hoping, praying that he'd of left something in here for me should everything start going wrong.

"Four: You. Don't let me abandon you or Alex, should she pop in." He said in the video. "And five. Very important five. Don't let me eat pears. I hate pears. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I am him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months, I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that."

I couldn't help the bitter chuckle at that rule but quickly shook my head. "That won't work, Doctor. What do I do about this? Y-You weren't supposed to fall in love with me here. I-I don't even know if that still is you. O-Or a part of you or whatever. He may be some character you made up, but… a-all authors put a piece of themselves into their stories. I-Is he, you? Is this really okay?"

I fast forwarded the tape to the end as the Doctor smiled at the screen.

"Thank you. And Alex, if you're there listening to this too… I love you."

My breath hitched at his sincerity and I jumped slightly when Martha came up and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You all right?"

I nodded, pressing my palm to my eye as I tried to rein in my emotions. "I-I'll be fine. I-I just need time to think. The plot's all messed up so, I… I don't know how things are supposed to go now. I might've screwed everything up by making John love me."

Martha frown slightly. "But I thought that was a good thing? I mean, I'm not happy about it, believe me… but I'd rather you than someone else."

I shook my head. "You don't understand. Because he loves me, there's a whole bunch of things that can go wrong now that I have no control over. I need to somehow get everything back on track, but I haven't the slightest clue how."

I went to pace, but pain raced up my leg and I let out a hiss as I tugged up my pant leg to see my bloodied bandage.

"Great. Isn't that just great?" I grumbled as Martha sighed and helped me hobble to the jump-seat.

"I think you probably tore the stitches. I'll get the medical supplies. You just stay here and… I don't know. Think of a way to fix this."

I sighed and nodded, bringing a hand to my head as I tried to figure out what I could possibly do now. Okay, think. Stop panicking and just think brain! I took a deep breath and let it out, calming my raging hearts and doing a trick that the Twelfth Doctor taught me to help me focus. There we go. Now focus on the plot… I knew that I had definitely changed things big time. Because John was supposed to fall in love with Joan, there were things I was now uncertain about that might or might not happen. Like when the Family comes and takes Joan hostage. They were supposed to take her because they find out who the Doctor is via Martha, and Joan was his weak spot. But now I'm the weak spot. So, they might take me hostage, but… we'll need Joan to get everyone to the little girl's house. I haven't the slightest idea where that is, so it's vital Joan is involved. So, what can I do? I frowned, trailing back through my thoughts to find the point where it started. The first point where things would change and once I found it, I snapped my eyes open.

"That's it!"

"What's it?" Martha asked from her place in front of me as she bandaged my leg, making me jump and wonder how long she'd been there— seeing as my leg was completely fixed and bandaged with clean bandages.

"How long have you been there?" I asked bluntly and she rolled her eyes.

"Long enough to know you figured something out. So, spill. What's the plan?"

I held up my hands as I stood and tested out my leg. "Ah, ah, ah. Nope! The first bit needs to be a surprise or else it won't work at all. You, Martha Jones, are the Queen on the chess board right now and I need you completely clueless. But..." I turned to her with a grin, stowing away my previous worry about John being the Doctor or not, to the back of my mind. "...I promise you everything will turn out just peachy as long as you trust me. Even with a gun pointed at your head, all right?"

She gave me a look, but nodded. "All right. Trusting you hasn't gotten me killed yet."

"Heh, right," I chuckled nervously, knowing that she'd probably only understand the hint I just gave her when she actually had a gun pointed at her head.

"But what about Joan? She looked pretty upset. Do you know why?" Martha asked as we headed out and I cringed.

"Well, she might have… possibly… unknowingly… thought I was a guy and fell in love with me?" I rattled off the last part so quickly, it was a wonder Martha caught any of it.

"You got another woman to fall in love with you!! Again!"

I held my hands up in surrender. "It's not my fault women are attracted to me!"

"Tell that to my sister!" Martha shouted back as I groaned.

"That wasn't my fault! I tried to clear it up and she hit me! Twice! And your mother!" I suddenly paused then and held my head in my hands. "Oh, I'm getting hit again tonight, aren't I?"

Martha scoffed. "Yeah, probably."

"Well, how was I supposed to know the Doctor would turn gay!"

Martha frowned. "Did he? I mean, you are a girl, after all."

"But he thinks I'm a guy, remember? I'm his bloody footman, for Pete's sake! Everyone here thinks I'm a guy!"

"How are you making up with Joan then? According to your muttering earlier, we need her for something."

I groaned again. "I don't know. I have to make up with her somehow, and preferably after the dance, but I really don't want to be hit again. Do you think she'd kill me if I went to pick her up before the dance?"

Martha nodded. "Most definitely. I know I would."

"Fine. Fine! I'll try to apologize and explain things at the dance—I doubt she'll hit me in public—and then once the plan gets started and things go crazy, she'll probably follow us anyway because we'll be the safest group on the planet… I hope."

"You hope? Any hints for me in all of this?"

"Um, enjoy the tea from Mister Poole and the cook, and I hope you can run in that dress."

"Oh, thanks. I'll be sure and do that," she said with a roll of her eyes as we went our separate ways inside the school.

"Just giving you a heads up!" I chirped, knowing that she was most definitely going to kill me later when she realizes just how much I didn't tell her.


"You look wonderful," John said to me, honestly meaning it, and I frowned at him while he tied my bow-tie.

"Oh right. Course. But last time I checked, looking nice doesn't usually fix things like Joan walking in on us kissing on the couch, John." I paused suddenly as John finished tying my tie. "Did you tell her I couldn't dance?"

John looked away sheepishly. "I might have… possibly mentioned it."

"Oh! Why'd you have to go and do that! Now she'll think even worse of me!"

He smiled, taking one of my hands and moving closer. "Then, you'll have no choice but to come back to me."

He kissed me again, bringing his hand up to my face and I melted into the kiss, my mind calling out to his. Problem was, there was no answer. The Doctor wasn't in there. This was John Smith. This was a character that might have been a piece of the Doctor, but it wasn't him. It wasn't my Doctor. He couldn't give me that comfort or love through our mental connection like the Doctor could and suddenly, I pulled away— feeling as though I was cheating on him. On my Doctor.

"John, I..." I struggled to say anything, throat tightening. "I don't think I can do this."

"Do what?" He asked innocently, but I just shook my head and took a step back.

"I'm sorry, John, but you're not him," I muttered, before rushing from the room— ignoring the calls he shouted after me as I tried to get my head back on track once more.

I needed to do that. I know I did, otherwise, I wouldn't have gone back there to him to get him to tie my tie. And now it's done. Now I know he's not the Doctor, and now I can focus on the bigger problem without distraction. I took a deep breath and nodded to myself as I headed to the pub nearby and managed to get a bit of liquid courage into me before I headed off to the dance. Once inside, I spotted Joan sitting alone at a table and felt guilt well up in me. The announcer spoke up loudly to prepare everyone for a dance and I took a deep breath and went over towards Joan— more nervous than I'd been since my days in middle school with that boy I crushed on.

"Um, J-Joan?" I stuttered out, mentally cursing how nervous I was with someone I didn't even care for in that way, wringing my hands together in front of me. "T-This is going to sound a bit silly, after what happened earlier, but, um… you have to understand how hard it is for me to say this… but… could you… would you possibly… have a dance with me?"

She gave me a look, making me wince. "You expect me to share a dance with you, after seeing you and John together?"

"I-I know. It's a silly idea. I-I just thought I could explain o-or make it up to you or… or something… If you don't want to, I-I understand. I'll just, um… go then," I rambled, before making to leave, but a gentle hand grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

"I will," Joan said, eyeing me. "But only because you're insisting and attempting to make up. Nothing more."

I nodded quickly as I led her out to the dance floor with the other couples, only to feel that nervousness grow as I realized I was going to attempt to dance. I wasn't sure where to put my hands and began to panic, but Joan gently moved one to her waist and the other to hold her hand as she did the same in return. The music started up and I bit my lip as I struggled to remember how to dance the waltz from the one time I took a dance class back in college. And I was only in it for a week before I dropped out. God, I hate dancing… I cringed as I stepped lightly on Joan's foot, quickly apologizing.

"S-Sorry."

"You honestly aren't good at dancing, are you?" Joan asked with this small twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

I turned a nice shade of red in embarrassment. "N-N-No. I'm rubbish at it. Never danced before in my life, really."

I turned and apologized to a couple we bumped into as Joan gave me a look.

"Then, why ask me to dance?"

"I-I, um… really wanted to apologize, mostly. I never meant for anyone to get hurt by my actions, much less you, Joan. I just seem to… make advances without realizing it. I'm sorry. I don't even seem to notice I've done anything until the other party either kiss me or hits me..." I winced. "Or both."

She raised a brow. "You get hit by women a lot then?"

I nodded sheepishly. "And by their mothers… And I really am sorry, Joan." I stepped on her foot again and grimaced. "For that too."

She smiled a little, but it soon fell as she sighed. "I don't know what to think about you, Alex. One minute you're that serious, cunning man and the next you're this shy, sad, lonely person. And then you're that kind and caring man that I fell in love with who saves women from falling pianos and sticks around to cheer up their crying infant after becoming quite the sight at a pub the night before. Which one of these personas that you put up is the real you?"

"To be honest? All of them, and none of them," I answered truthfully as the waltz came to an end. "Nothing is ever what it seems, Joan, and I want you to remember that, because things are going to get a little problematic in a few moments and… and I hope that you will understand what I'm saying when I tell you that I am not who you think I am."

I brought her hand to the right side of my chest where my second heart was beating and she glanced at it briefly before realization came over her and she opened her mouth in shock, only for me to spot Martha rush in and head towards John near a table in the back. I pulled away from Joan then and gave her a small smile.

"I'm going to have to explain all of this later, Joan, and I'm sorry for that. But there's something I need to do."

I went to hurry off, but she grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

"Then, let me help."

I nodded and pulled her along with me as we caught the last bit of what Martha was saying as she waved the Doctor's sonic screwdriver at him.

"You're not John Smith. You're called the—"

Now. I poked my head in with a smile, snatching the sonic from John and tucking it into my pocket.

"Now, Martha let's not confuse him just yet."

She frowned at me, angry for interrupting. "What do you mean? We have to!" She turned to John, ignoring me. "The man in your journal, he's real! He's y—"

"Me," I spouted, covering her mouth with my hand. "Yes, right. Keep that a secret now, John, Joan. Martha, thanks for playing along. Anyway, I've got some things coming after me and—"

I was cut off as there was a loud thud behind us and a portly man walked in shouting at everyone.

"There will be silence! All of you!"

Scarecrows started walking in too and I dropped my hand from Martha's mouth as my gaze hardened, getting serious. Let the games begin.

"I said, silence!"

"Mister Clarke, what's going on!" One man questioned as Mr. Clarke reached in his pocket and I pushed the man out of the way at the last second as Mr. Clarke tried to vaporize him with his gun.

"Watch it! You could poke someone's eye out with that thing!" I called out, helping the man up as I moved towards the front of the group of panicked people, and thus towards Martha, John, and Joan.

"We asked for silence!" Baines shouted.

"Actually, you demanded it, but who am I to say that loudly," I muttered under my breath, earning an elbow in the ribs, courtesy of Martha Jones.

"Now then, we have a few questions for Mr. Smith."

The little girl stepped forward with her red balloon and I felt guilty for not being able to save any of these people from getting possessed by the Family, let alone a kid.

"No, better than that. The footman. He's the Doctor. I heard them talking."

"You took human form," Baines said, making me raise a brow in pretend confusion.

"Who, me?" I gestured to myself. "Yeah, sorry. I've always been human." I lie, as John stepped forward.

"Of course he's human. He was born human. As were you, Baines. And Jenny! A-And you, Mr. Clarke. W-What's going on? This is madness!"

"Ooh, and human brains too. Simple, thick and dull."

I winked at him. "Oh, not quite." I tapped my temple. "I'm the last thing from thick, mind you. Human or not."

Jenny spoke up then. "But he's no good like this."

"We need a Time Lord," Mr. Clarke said after.

"Easily done." Baines stepped forward and pulled out a gun, pointing it at me as the crowd gasped. "Change back."

"Yeah," I drawled out, rolling my eyes and being extremely calm for someone with a gun pointed at them, though internally my hearts were beating away in a panic. "About that. I don't really know what you're talking about."

"Change back!" He ordered and I shifted my gaze to his, eyes hard.

"I'm the last person you should be ordering and pointing a gun at, mate."

"Get off me!" Martha yelled, drawing our attention to her as Jenny put a gun to her head as well.

"She's your friend, isn't she? Doesn't this scare you enough to change back?"

I shrugged, putting my hands in my pockets. "Not really."

Oh, she's going to hate me for this. I mentally cringed.

"Alex!" John shouted, but I ignored him.

"Alex, I'll get you for this!" Martha complained as I gave her a small smile and a little wiggle of my fingers in a wave.

"Sorry~ Promise you'll be fine."

She frowned but went quiet.

"Wait a minute." Jenny looked over a Martha before back at John. "The maid told me about Alex and the Matron. That woman there."

"Then, let's have you!" Mr. Clarke called out, grabbing Joan as I pinched the bridge of my nose with a sigh.

Blaine smirked. "Have you enjoyed it, Doctor? Being human? Has it taught you wonderful things? Are you better, richer, wiser? Then, let's see you answer this. Which one of them do you want us to kill? Maid or Matron? Your friend or your lover? Your choice."


Sneak Peak:

"Maybe one man can't fight them, but this school teaches us to stand together. Take arms! Take arms!" He shouted as the students came down.

I groaned. "No! We should be evacuating everyone! God, why does he never listen to me?"

"Probably because you tell people they'll be fine and then they find themselves with a gun to their head!" Martha yelled at me.

"I gave you a heads up! And I promised you'd be fine! I wouldn't promise that if I was going to be wrong!"

Of course, I got slapped and Martha glared at me.

"That's for getting me taken hostage!"

"Ow!" I whined, rubbing my cheek as Joan smiled a little.

"Ah, I see why you get hit so much now."