Okay, so I have some serious apologies to make here. My excuses definitely aren't good enough, so I'm just going to say I'm super sorry for basically ditching the updates on this story. I do have most of it written, but I don't have a beta, so what I'm planning on doing is basically a big update with multiple chapters to hold you guys over until I can write more. I'm so sorry! I hope you're still interested in what happens between Nova, James, and her family!

Nova pulled into the driveway of the new safe house, hands still shaking from the pain and the fear. What would Grant do if he found her family? Would he kill them all? He said he wanted them alive, but that meant nothing. He risked Evie's death, he didn't give a shit about Nova. They'd been like family once. Nova had even considered asking him to Christmas. Now she was thankful she'd gotten caught up in building Tony's idea for a ray gun. If she'd invited him home… this war would have been over before it started.

Instead of parking out front, Nova pulled right around the house, toward the back door. The house wasn't visible from the road, but this way no one could see the stolen car if they drove up. No one came out to this far anyway. It was a Dugan house, Maggie's. She'd let all the siblings stay there at one point or another. Nova had driven an extra ninety miles to find her sister's house. It didn't matter that Maggie wasn't currently home. What mattered was the smell, the sight, the warmth of her sister that she desperately needed at the moment. They would see her family tomorrow. They would be late, but they would be there before Mama would send out the cavalry. It still wasn't soon enough for Nova. She needed to have a piece of them now, right now. After what had happened, she wouldn't feel safe until they were all safe under the roof of the Dugan compound.

"This is the safe house?" James asked, a gun appearing in each hand. Nova nodded slightly and he was gone before she could ask him not to shoot the house up if he did happen to find someone in there. All Nova really wanted was a warm bath and a hot meal. Maybe a few slow kisses, if James was open to it. He hadn't seemed as concerned during the car ride as he'd been before the attack, but that didn't mean he didn't remember her telling him not to look at her. It didn't mean that everything was all right, no matter how much she wanted it to be.

Parking the car, Nova let her head fall back to rest against the headrest, ignoring the sharp pain that ran through her skull as a reminder that she'd hit her head on the wall. Her entire body shook from equal parts exhaustion and shock, her mind replaying the scene with Grant on a constant loop. She'd honestly thought he would kill her. She still wasn't sure he hadn't.

"Clear," a rough voice knocked her out of her trance and Nova's eyes found James's steel blue, the door to the car open and cold air rushing in. He wasn't dressed for the weather but he didn't seem to notice as he reached out a hand to help her up. It was such a gentlemanly thing to do that Nova felt the tears she'd been holding back spill over, sobs wracking her body in moments. James was there immediately, crowding her and pulling her into his warm embrace as if nothing had changed between them. "You're all right. You're safe."

"He could have killed me," Nova sobbed, arms curling around James's shoulders as she clung to him, wishing that they were back at the Tower, safe. The drive used to be fun. This was a nightmare.

"Grant Ward won't hurt you. I won't let him hurt you," James murmured, petting her hair with a gentle hand. His arms curled around her tighter and Nova sucked in a wet breath when James completely picked her up, carrying her out of the car and toward the safe house. He carried her bridal style, metal arm holding her legs while his flesh arms curved around her back, fingers stroking her back as he moved. His movements were smooth and predatory, each step calculated. He was a man on the hunt and Nova couldn't help but wonder what it was he was hunting.

"What if he finds the Dugan house?" Nova asked, the very thought pulling another round of sobs from her. Burying her face in James's shoulder, she tried to hide the tears.

Dugans didn't cry in the face of danger. They didn't step back or back down. They never surrendered to the enemy. It was better to die with honor than to live in fear. Fighting was in her blood, she wasn't meant to cry. It was weak to cry like this. Even as the thoughts crossed her mind, Nova let out another harsh sob, the idea of her family being in danger haunting her thoughts.

"If he finds the Dugan house, we'll put an end to him. Steve and I will make sure that he doesn't come after you again," James informed her, pushing the door to the safe house open and carrying her in. Nova wished she could believe him, but she knew a fight like that would end in casualties on both sides. Losing another family member was something she couldn't even imagine. After Tripp… After Tripp died, they'd all lost a bit of themselves. Nova couldn't even remember a time without him as family. It had taken a while to learn to live again and she was still fighting off the anxiety, the horror, at the thought of him dying in some hole, scared and alone.

What would happen if someone else she loved died?

"Steve will take Evie and run. It's the only move that makes sense," Nova muttered as James moved toward the bedroom. Nova had been in the house a dozen times in her life and she noted he was taking her to the bedroom with the least access points but the most escape routes. Yes, they were two different things and yes, James had obviously noted that as well.

"Steve doesn't run from a fight. He doesn't like bullies," James informed her, moving to the bed and gently setting her down on it. Nova let her arms fall from his neck, wishing that he hadn't let her go as tears streamed hot down her cheeks. He moved to the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom and Nova curled in on herself, hugging her knees to her chest and wishing there was a lab in Maggie's house. Anything to keep her mind off of the danger that seemed to lurk around every corner.

"Who likes bullies? And Evie's safety means more to him than my entire family combined," Nova snarled, wondering if James would argue that point too. Everyone knew that Steve would let the world burn in favor of saving Evie. He was a righteous man, but not so righteous that he would let Evie die to save others. It was actually quite the opposite. He would let everyone die to save Evie. His sense of duty only extended to the doorstep of his apartment. As soon as danger got in, only one person and one person alone mattered. Nova could blame him all she wanted, but she knew the truth. Really, she would want Evie safe too. And she would let the entire world burn to save those she loved. Were they really so different, her and Steve? When it came down to it, weren't their priorities the same?

"Even if Steve leaves with Evangeline, I would stay," James announced, returning from the bathroom with a wet towel and a first aid kit. The kit was larger than almost any Nova had ever seen but James wielded it easily, moving to set it on the bed next to her.

"And what do I do if you die?" Nova asked, voice so quiet she wasn't sure that he would hear her even with super soldier hearing.

What would she do if James died? If her Jamie was killed, how would she survive? Any of her family members dying would kill her, but James? James was invincible. He'd lived through too much to die in the Dugan house, no matter who attacked it. Living was something he excelled at. He'd survived everything so far, she couldn't imagine his death. She didn't want to.

"If I die, you live," James shrugged like it meant nothing and Nova bit her lips, swearing profusely when she bit into the cut there.

"Fuck! That hurt like a bitch!" Nova howled, wincing as James pressed the wet cloth he'd brought out into her now bleeding lip. The blood was warm against her chin as he wiped it up, pain blooming along her face. As her body started to relax, the pain became more potent, her body protesting the violent treatment she'd received. While driving, she could ignore it. Now it was at the forefront of her thoughts, pulsing below the surface.

"Hold still."

James wiped away the blood on her face carefully, his touch gentle and tender in a way that Nova had never experienced before. His dark eyes took in his work as he went, cool metal fingers brushing along the bruises on her cheekbone and jaw in a way that sent shivers down her spine. A frown tilted his lips as he took in what was probably the start of her bruising and Nova wished she could just lean in and kiss it all away. But her lip hurt like a motherfucker and she wasn't sure he would want her advances. Not after she'd so stupidly told him not to look at her. The look on his face wasn't going to leave her mind for years to come, she was sure.

"You're quiet," James murmured, his voice the only sound in the silence.

"I don't have anything to say," Nova answered honestly. What could she say? Her family was in danger, they were in danger, he was in danger. She couldn't imagine a world without any of them. What would she do in a world that didn't have a James Buchanan Barnes in it?

"I don't believe that," James's lips turned up at the corners and Nova let her body relax further, automatically starting to uncurl her arms from around her knees. James pulled her legs off the bed gently, starting to coax her into a standing position. Nova let him pull her up to her feet, wishing that these moments would never end. When he was gentle and loving, when he touched her like she was breakable. No one touched her like James did. "Wash off and we'll talk about whatever you want."

"Don't make promises you won't keep," Nova retorted immediately, leaning heavily against James, who wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her upright. Exhaustion was catching up and Nova wasn't sure she would be able to stay awake through a shower.

"I never make promises I can't keep," James shrugged broad shoulders, shuffling her into the bathroom and setting her on the toilet. Nova shivered, watching as James started the bath like he knew exactly what she needed. He probably did. He was perceptive in a way that Nova couldn't understand. After being hurt so many times by so many people, how could he still be so unfailingly kind?

"You'll tell me anything?" Nova asked, blinking curiously at the man before her. He tested the water with his prosthetic fingers and Nova wondered how good of a readout it gave him with the glitch-ing and the nerve attachments. The thought slid through her mind, disappearing a moment later.

"Anything," he confirmed with a confidence Nova didn't quite understand. She didn't believe that any topic was open for discussion. She didn't believe that he would talk to her about his days as not-James and she didn't believe he'd talk about all the death that had surrounded him for almost a century. He didn't talk much about his past. There were very good reasons for that. Why would he tell her anything about it when he wouldn't even talk to Steve or Sam? Sam, Steve's other bestie, was the Avengers' therapist. He'd worked for the VA before Steve had drafted him into his one man army. Now they were a duo that even James couldn't penetrate.

Sam had tried to talk to James. Nova knew that much. He thought he could help him with the memories since all soldiers had memories they wished they could forget. While Sam was one of those people who adjusted well to coming home from the war, he still got that look in his eye that Nova recognized. Tony talked about him sometimes and told Nova that Sam had trouble with his past just like the rest of them. He was just as effected as James. That was why he thought he could talk to him, get him to see that he wasn't the enemy, he wasn't at fault. But it had gone nowhere. James had shut him out. Nova knew because she'd been at Evie's bedside when Sam had tried to get James to come to his office a few months ago.

James had been silent and keeping guard at Evie's doorway ever since she'd been hurt. Nova had thought it was a bit odd, but she joked with him and teased him and did whatever she could to bother the man whenever she went down to visit. Steve told her to leave him alone and Evie suggested it would be easier for them all if Nova stopped teasing James, but it was something that got him to react. Most of the time he had on a blank face, eyes staring ahead like he was dead or set on standby. It had been something Nova had been determined to change and she'd gotten more out of him than anyone else could, so she refused to stop, even when Steve got a stick up his ass about it.

Now, Nova figured that not-James had been in charge. He'd reverted to James when she'd talked to him, but he'd been not-James more often than not. It was his mind's way of protecting him from the pain and the memories. Sam had almost gotten stabbed when he'd come to talk. Nova had come out just in time to witness the grand finale. Sam had told James that all he had to do was say something for him to go away and James's word hadn't been anything that would have affected his past.

He'd instead said 'Nova'.

Sam had noticed her as soon as he spoke her name and had apologized and gone off, an odd look on his face.

If James wouldn't talk to Sam, a VA councilor and someone who could relate to his pain and maybe help him carry it, why would he talk to her? Nova knew that she didn't understand what James had gone through. Her own sins were long and diverse, but nothing like James's. What haunted her at night wasn't nearly as painful as what haunted him and she probably could never understand even a fraction of his past.

"Sweetheart," his warm voice pulled her out of her thoughts and Nova blinked back into the present, eyes finding James's. He was crouched before her and the tub was filled behind him. "Time to get in. Wash up and we'll bandage any wounds."

His eyes flickered to her stitches as he spoke and Nova knew he saw the way the stitches has pulled at her skin painfully. The beginning stitch had ripped through her skin and left the area oozing blood. There would be a scar, without a doubt, but it didn't hurt as bad as it should. A bandage would probably help, but James was right. She desperately needed to be clean. The thought of all the blood on her had her starting to rip at her clothes, desperate to be rid of them.

"Hey," James's large hands tried to catch hers, but Nova was quick and avoided his grabby hands, ripping her shirt more than it already was in a desperate attempt to get it off. "Nova!"

The command in his voice made her jump and her hands freeze just long enough for him to catch both wrists in one hand.

"You're going to hurt yourself," he informed her, carefully grabbing her shirt with his free hand. He gently pulled it off of her, letting her wrists go as soon as he was sure that she wasn't going to fight him. She let him undress her, his movements careful and concise. He had her naked in no time and he ushered her into the warm water before she could argue the point, the hiss of pain that left her tongue enough to have his shoulders tightening.

"The water stings," Nova hissed through gritted teeth, body tight as a bow string.

It got easier as her wounds started to adjust, her body relaxing into the warmth. James stayed nearby, perching on the toilet as she softened into the water. Her aching muscles started to let go, the pain slowly leaving her body. Before long, she was as good as jelly, limbs weak and soft. Slowly, she washed all the blood off her skin with soap, scrubbing some spots until they were red and raw. Only James's fingers brushing the abused skin would stop her ministrations and his careful gaze kept watch over her.

She was clean before he said another word, the water running brown and red as she slowly stood, allowing James to wrap her in a towel that was brand new, the cloth soft against her skin.

"You're going to be okay," he murmured, leading her out of the bathroom without clothing. He took her back to the first aid kit, fingers gentle as he bandaged her wounds, spreading antiseptic everywhere, even over the cut on her lip. The bitter taste had her scrunching her nose, but James still smoothed his thumb over her lips before leaning down and gently, oh so gently, pressing his lip against her own. "You're safe here."

"I know," Nova accepted, blinking tiredly at the man before her. Dark circles wove around his eyes and Nova frowned. She hadn't noticed how tired he looked before. His own wounds needed tending and she was letting him coddle her. Because she was weak when it came to combat. She could defend herself, but she didn't like to kill. She didn't like to be close when the bodies fell. She liked being on the other side of the room, the other side of the city. Far away.

"Lay down. You're going to need the rest and we need to get to the Dugan house tomorrow. Otherwise Steve is going to come looking and no one wants that," James urged her back into the bed, pulling the blankets down so that she could curl beneath them.

"You need help," she argued, head falling to the pillow and eyes starting to slide shut already.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I can take care of my own wounds this time. You sleep. We'll talk about whatever you want when you wake up," were the last words that Nova heard as she drifted into dreams.