Hack: Now to reveal which games all the side characters are from… As you can guess, all the members of the Starwolf team are from Starfox. The X-Nauts, including the shadow sirens and Doopliss, are all from Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. The new enemies presented in this chapter are all from Mario RPG games as well.
Chapter 52: Shells and Flowers
Looks like the plan worked…
This thought ran through everyone's mind, as they all knew that they lured the guards into the base, allowing the Mario Brothers clear access to Grodus's room. Now they had to play chicken and continue to lure the guards around while still avoiding fights.
But it seemed quite impossible, as all of them reached isolated rooms.
Grodus already caught their plan.
Before the smashers began their plan…
"I want each and every one of you to arrange routes for the smashers into isolated rooms. Stay in those rooms then face them. I want you to kill them. Crump, stay in my throne room, you will fight the Mario Brothers."
It seemed that Grodus's counter-plan actually worked. Each group of smashers found themselves forced into isolated rooms.
"Um… who are you?" asked Jigglypuff as she faced a floating blue robe with yellow glaring eyes floating above it. A crystal crown was also floating above the eye. It looked as though an invisible person was wearing all this attire.
"I am the Crystal King, and I have been appointed the job of eliminating you all by Grodus. If I defeat you, then Grodus will give me my Crystal Palace back!"
"…Sorry, but…" Jigglypuff threw a pound attack at the Crystal King. "I won't be easy to beat."
The Crystal King suddenly disappeared and a voice was heard behind Jigglypuff. "You think that you can defeat the king of illusions, the king of crystals, and the king of ice? Don't make me laugh."
"It's you guys…" said Fox.
"I won't forgive you for tricking us," Link added.
"Mm hm…" Ganondorf simply said as he had nothing to add.
The three smashers faced three familiar figures: Doopliss the Duplighost, and the two sisters of Vivian: Beldam and Marilyn.
"Well the plan almost worked out, until that foolish Mario saw through my darn disguise!" cried Doopliss.
"Doopliss! Don't worry, Grodus understands! He will not kill you!" assured Beldam.
"Groan…. Ooooggg….." said Marilyn, unable to say any words.
"Well be sure to give us a challenge," said Beldam as she held her arms out. "Because we Shadow Sirens don't appreciate intruders…"
"We fight for evil!"
"We live for disorder!"
"We like what we do!"
"We struggle for chaos!"
"We are…"
"THE AXEM RANGERS!!!" five familiar figures cried. Well, they were familiar to Peach and Bowser, but maybe not some of the readers, nor Yoshi. The Axem Rangers each wore a suit of armor of a different color: red, pink, yellow, black, and green. The red had a stocky, yet muscular build. The pink wore make up on her robotic face, the only female. The yellow's stomach bloated out like a potbelly, one who ate all the time. The black wore black solid shades, and had slim arms and legs. Finally the green was the tallest, with the thinest face and body. They were all pretty short in general, yet all five carried deadly scythes. The red ranger was clearly the leader, as he stood in the center of the group.
"Not you guys again…" groaned Peach.
"You fought these guys?" asked Yoshi.
"Fucking annoying… Stole a Star right below our damn noses…" Bowser muttered angrily.
The Red Ranger pointed at them. "If you aren't ready, you're in for some pain!"
"Not as bad as the Koopa Brothers at least…" Yoshi commented. "At least they don't try to act ghetto…"
"True… Damn fucking true…" replied Bowser, shuddering.
"Um… Guys?" said Peach. "We're outnumbered, and I don't think they're ready to give us singing motto lessons."
"What's this? A huge buff guy? A tiny crocodile? A dynamite guy?" said Donkey Kong.
"You've got me, don't ask me, dude," said Captain Falcon.
The two faced three enemies. The first was a yellow hawk with a humungous wrestler's body. He wore black sunglasses and a shining belt around his waist. Although his muscles bulged through every inch of his body, his face seemed to show that he was quite agile too. This was Rawk Hawk, former champion of Glitzville above Rogueport.
"Get ready to RAWWWWWWWWK, because you guys are in for a beating! If I RAWK you guys up, then I'm winning myself some fame from Grodus!"
The second enemy was a tiny violet crocodile wearing a red bucket-like hat and carrying a brown bag with who knows what. His body showed that he was much more agile than Rawk Hawk, and he looked like the type to be a thief too. Readers, meet Croco, enemy of Mario and Mallow.
"No Mario? I was looking forward to beating that guy up anyways," he simply commented.
The last enemy was a strange creature. His arms were purple and wore red boots. He had stubby legs, but a fat stomach. His stomach had a strange yellow smiley face attached to its center. At the end of his arms were white spikes that could be used as claws. On top of his head was a red fuse popping out of it, as if it was attached to a dynamite. This is Punchinello, commander of explosives.
"You better be ready for my bombs, or else… BOMBS AWAY, YEAH!" cried Punchinello.
"We always get the weirdest guys, dude…" said Falcon. DK nodded in agreement.
Both Mario brothers barely dodged another huge laser beam attack from the Magnus Von Grapple, controlled by Lord Crump.
"It's not my fault that I took out a red shell and you grabbed an ice flower!" cried Luigi.
"Looks like we aren't as sync as before…" muttered Mario, putting away a blue fire flower (actually ice flower). "And without our younger counterparts, these items are a bit weaker…" By the way, the Bros. Items are from Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time.
"No, only one of us are supposed to take out the item and initialize it, brother!"
"…Oh yeah. I forgot."
The enormous block foot from the Magnus Von Grapple stomped on the ground, creating a huge shockwave. Both Mario and Luigi jumped over it as Luigi took out his red shell.
"Get it ready, Luigi! Let's try to beat our own record!" Mario smiled.
Luigi nodded as he kicked the red shell at the cockpit of the robot.
Crump smirked. "Buh huh huh huh… what do you think that little thing's going to do?"
KU-KLUNK!
The red shell banged on the glass cockpit, doing nothing except bouncing off, and coming towards Mario! Mario swiftly jumped towards it and kicked it again.
At that angle, if I kick it with that spin and velocity, then it'll go a little too high for Luigi to jump after it reflects… It'll go faster, so he might not have the reactions. So I have to angle it down. Crump's going to lift up his leg, increasing the altitude of his cockpit, so I have to aim higher anyways, but it'll reflect up towards the ceiling. Therefore, the only solution I have is to kick it up at a velocity of fifty miles per hour and jump up near it to get the downward angle of twenty-five degrees, then I have to kick it again. There, it'll bounce down towards Luigi, but it might hit the ground near him, so I'll have to increase the angle by five degrees… Will that work? Yes, but I need more force to make it faster for the plan to work. If I apply more force, it'll hit the ground in front of Luigi anyways, so I have to decrease my angle further… So kick it up vertically at forty, no, fifty miles per hour then at the height of thirty feet. With that, I'll have to kick it at a downward angle of ten degrees with its velocity at fifty-five miles per hour. Before it was forty-five, so ten miles per hour makes a difference. Luigi'll increase it exponentially, so when it returns to me, it'll travel at about seventy miles per hour.
When the shell is traveling at least three-hundred miles per hour, it should break the cockpit, if it's the same as I faced it before in the X-Naut base on the moon.
Mario made all these calculations in his mind within a second, then kicked the shell vertically upwards. He instantly jumped up exactly thirty feet then kicked it towards the top tip of Crump's cockpit, at a precise downward angle of ten degrees. As Mario predicted, Crump lifted up his leg to create another shockwave. The shell struck the bottom of the cockpit as the cockpit drew back, its leg lifted. The shell harmlessly bounced off of it as it now shot towards Luigi at a faster speed.
It's coming at forty-five… no, fifty-five miles per hour. Mario is twenty feet in the air right now, and if my physics are correct, then he'll be ten feet above the ground by the time I kick this shell at about seventy miles per hour. I have to kick it upwards at Crump's cockpit to keep him busy, but if I do, its high angle will make it hit the ceiling and back down to Mario. That'll make it lose some velocity and power, so I'll have to kick it at ninety miles per hour. If I'm right, then Crump will be recovering from his stomp attack. Mario should return the shell at a hundred miles per hour, or maybe slightly faster.
As accurately and quickly as Mario, Luigi calculated all of these physics in his head and kicked the shell approaching him at an extremely high angle. It made another KU-KLUNK off of Crump's cockpit, now hitting it with enough force to vibrate it. It bounced off of the cockpit and hit the ceiling, coming down towards Mario, who was exactly ten feet above the ground from his previous kick.
Both brothers continued this calculation onslaught several times, the red shell speeding up and growing more and more powerful. They were literally playing tennis with the red shell, except using their feet rather than tennis rackets. Crump was continuously trying to create shockwaves to stop them, but Mario and Luigi always took his attacks into account and were not affected, incorporating their own jumps at the perfect times in their physics. Within a few seconds, the red shell was moving so fast that it blasted through Crump's cockpit and shot through the entire robot, creating a large explosion. Blocky Debris were sent flying everywhere within the explosion as the Mario Brothers remained triumphant.
"Phew… Not so cocky now, are you Crump?" said Mario.
"Glad we're not so rusty with our red shell, eh?" Luigi smiled.
"Nope, not at all. Too bad I don't have any more…"
"Me neither…"
"Buh huh huh huh huh… You really thought that I was finished?"
Another Magnus Von Grapple appeared, and this looked much more powerful than the one before. The drills on its hands were much sharper and its feet were much larger, showing that they were much heavier and more powerful. "That was just an X-Naut disguised as me!"
"…You sacrificed your own just to get to us?" gasped Mario.
"…You're all sick…" said Luigi.
"No, I won't be saying, Like That, I'm outta there! No way, you're all gonna die this time, dude!"
But when Crump finished his sentence, both Mario Brothers were out of sight. Suddenly, he looked up to see two human balls flying towards him.
CLANG! CLANG!
"Advanced Bounce Brothers!" Mario and Luigi cried as they bounced off of the cockpit. Unfortunately, it did no damage at all.
"Buh huh huh huh! I doubt that even that red shell can break through my cockpit!"
Suddenly, Mario's feet landed on top of the cockpit, spinning like a top. Sparks violently flew everywhere as a loud screeching noise was heard, as if a drill was trying to drill into metal.
"Advanced Splash Brothers!" Mario cried. He stopped spinning and jumped off, but the cockpit was still completely unharmed!
"Buh huh huh huh! Nice tricks!" said Crump. "But I've got some too!"
The hands on the Magnus Von detached themselves from their owners, and Mario sighed.
"This again?"
"You don't know what this has in stock for you, dude…" said Crump.
The drills on each flying hand suddenly separated into several sharp metal knives! All of them suddenly began to fly towards Mario, surrounding him at every single angle.
Mario grabbed his cape and swung it around, deflecting every single knife in front of him. Several electric discs took out the knives behind him, thanks to Luigi.
The two Mario brothers began to move onto the offensive now. Both ran with fireballs in their hands towards Crump. When they got near his feet, Crump stomped on the ground, causing a huge earthquake. Both brothers easily evaded this with a high jump and fired all their fireballs at the body of the Magnus Von.
The fireballs did absolutely nothing!
"Mario… I have a plan," said Luigi.
"What is it? I'm listening," replied Mario, dodging more drill parts flying around.
Luigi took out a strange looking fire flower and Mario smiled.
"…I'm the decoy then?" he asked.
Luigi nodded. "Yeah. I'll use this. Shoot fireballs when you have an opening, but don't make it obvious."
"I know, I know…"
Luigi lifted up the fire flower and it disappeared with a puff of smoke.
"Hey Crump! How much did Grodus pay you to do his dirty job for him?" taunted Mario.
"You… You'd better not insult Grodus, dude!" Crump angrily replied while turning the Magnus Von towards Mario. Luigi looked up above the Magnus Von to see a tiny fireball floating above it.
Great… It's set up… Now for the hard part…
Mario fired several fireballs at Crump, who wasn't affected, except by becoming a little angrier. Some fireballs missed, flying past the robot, although it seemed a little intentional. He charged at Mario and held his handless arms out, charging a large beam attack.
Luigi took this chance. He fired as many fireballs as he could to the tiny fireball above, which was starting to lower. He was beginning to sweat, as he saw the larger fireball begin to fall. The moment I stop adding fireballs, it'll start falling… That's the effect of the Mix Flower. I can keep it suspended in the air if I fire more fireballs, but I have to be discrete and not alarm Crump about the Mix Flower.
Crump fired two humungous beams of energy at Mario, who short hopped and twirled his body to narrowly avoid both. He immediately dashed up to the legs and drew his Ultra Hammer. He smashed it into the right kneecap of the Magnus Von, causing the entire robot to shake. However, it wasn't dented one bit!
Mario instantly jumped up to the cockpit of the Magnus Von and threw his fist into it. The glass still kept intact, but Mario left a little something for Crump. He left a smoking fireball on the center of it, covering the cockpit with smoke. Crump couldn't see anything except throw the robot's arms around to try to hit something.
The fireball was now as big as half of the gigantic Magnus Von. Unluckily, when the smoke cleared away, Crump was facing Luigi. He instantly fired another beam at Luigi, who just noticed the assault.
Too late. Luigi was struck by both beams of energy and screamed in pain.
"LUIGI!!!" Mario cried, rushing to Luigi. The green-capped plumber was on the ground, coughing out blood.
"What did I tell you to not put yourself in danger? Huh?" cried Mario, but Luigi simply lifted a finger up and pointed it at Crump. Mario looked up and smiled.
The large fireball was twice as large as the Magnus Von now, and it began to fall.
"Mix Flower!" Luigi cried, giving an extra cough.
It took a bit of time for Crump to notice what was going on, but it was too late. The moment he tilted his head up, he saw the enormous fireball on top of his cockpit.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
The fireball exploded, destroying every bit of the Magnus Von Grapple. The smoke cleared away instantly, and there was nothing visible. Crump was completely annihilated. He was nowhere to be seen.
