A/N: My new laptop should be here this weekend! Thank you to the people who donated to my kofi. I went with a refurbished model of ThinkPad. I trust Lenovo and I think it'll be a good fit for my needs. Plus it meant it was wayyy cheaper than getting it new.
The opening scene of this was originally going to be wayyyy different. But last night I got hit with the inspiration for this resolution and I thought it was a better fit and showed the growth my two favorite idiots have gone through. I know this isn't when I normally post but I feel bad for missing like, three weeks. So here, have a bonus chapter!
Oh, and if any of you are interested in learning more about Aishling check out chapter 19 of Frivolous and Necessary. It's all about the origination of the tree. It was my submission for YYHFanFiction's rare fic contest.
Hiei sat in one of the chairs they'd drug into the training room what felt like ages before. He waited for Shinpi to show her sorry face. While she took her time he studied the necklace hanging from his hands with keen interest. The thin silver chain was something he would have never thought to get for himself. But for Shinpi, it seemed necessarily. More sturdy than leather. The wood hanging from the chain had been cut into a rectangle, the surface and edges smoothed by his hands. And hanging beside the wood was a seed trapped inside a wire encasement.
He'd been carrying it around with him ever since he'd visited Aishling, the pieces at least. He'd finished it before turning to this side of the planes.
It was his gift to Shinpi. A piece of the tree she loved so much. He wanted her to remember the resolution she felt when she thought of Aishling. He wanted her to plant her feet and fight on, standing strong and proud.
Suddenly, his anger died away. He was left with a different, uncomfortable feeling instead.
When the door opened he didn't look away from the necklace, his back to Shinpi as she entered. He didn't speak.
Mere minutes ago he had wanted nothing more than to break something. Someone. He had wanted to beat Shinpi until she came back to her senses. But that all felt…meaningless now.
"I don't understand." He offered the words without much inflection. "I don't understand why you're allowing yourself to be tortured. How can such a clever woman be such a fool?"
For a heartbeat she didn't answer him.
"Yukina said something similar." She admitted quietly and it made him glance toward as she walked around him. "Are we going to fight?"
"I'm done fighting you." Hiei told her, shifting his attention back to the pendant in his hands. "It never works anyway. You always just do what you want."
She stopped walking.
Still so far away from him. Double his arm's length. An intentional space she had chosen to remain from him.
"You wanted to fight before." She told him.
"I want a lot of things from you." He responded bitterly.
"And you've received all of them." She shot back, her tone turning cold. "Whether I wanted to give them or not."
"Hmph."
"What's that you're playing with?"
"A reminder."
"Of what?"
"Why are you so angry with me?" He changed the topic, raising his gaze to meet hers instead. "Ever since I got back you've avoided me. You've locked your door. You shut me out, Shinpi. Why?"
Her brow furrowed. "Do you really not get it?"
"I really don't."
"You're a selfish fool." She sneered then, rolling her eyes. "Why should you understand? Your actions are never held against you, are they? You get free reign to do whatever you want."
"You're one to talk."
"Why are you pouting anyway?" She demanded of him, not answering his question. "What does it matter to you? I thought for sure this would make it all easier for you."
"In what possible vein of your insanity does this make anything easier for me?" Hiei got to his feet abruptly. "I've been trying to talk to you-"
"You've been keeping up appearances." Shinpi glared at him.
But he saw her swallow. The way her lip quivered just slightly, for just a moment. She had tossed on workout clothes. Baggy sweats and a fitted tee, her hair thrown into a ponytail.
"I wish you'd just stop!" She shouted the words, closing her eyes as she dipped her chin down. "I wish you'd just be honest with me for once in your life! Just admit that you hate me, already so we can end this!"
He was in front of her in a blur, and she jerked her face up to stare at him. Hiei remained impassive as he looked into her eyes.
"I don't hate you."
"You're disgusted by me. I knew you would be! That's why I didn't want to show you!" She remained firm in this. "You left. You left me alone after demanding to see everything. I knew I shouldn't have shown you. I knew, I knew, I knew."
"Disgusted? By you?" Hiei tilted his head. "What utter nonsense."
Shinpi clenched her eyes closed, tightening her hands into fists.
"You left me all alone." She whispered, shaking. "You saw me for the monster I am and you left because of it."
Her eyes shot open as Hiei draped the necklace over her head. Her body grew rigid.
"You have no faith in me." Hiei muttered, staring at the wooden pendant and the seed as they lay against her chest over her shirt. "Trust me, Shinpi. Between the two of us you are not the monster."
Her eyes slowly moved down to stare at the necklace. "This wood…it feels…"
"I stole a piece when I visited Aishling. I thought it would help ground you." Hiei subconsciously touched the hiruseki stone laying against his chest. "I made it myself. It suits you."
"You made it?" Shinpi looked up at him, then back down to the necklace. Then, she jerked her face back up to his. "You saw Aishling?"
"I saw many things." Hiei shrugged. "I visited Sayol. I brought you back some clothes too but there hasn't been a good time to give them to you. You've been more obstinate than usual."
"Why?"
"I don't know. Sometimes I think you just can't help it."
She nearly broke into a smile then. He saw it pull at her lips. "No, idiot. Why did you go to Sayol?"
"For you." Hiei rolled his eyes. "Why else? I wanted to see what it was like. I wanted to meet your people. Turns out they are Hiro's people now. Even if you wanted to be king I'm not sure they'd have you."
Her eyes grew glittery with tears as she stared at him, her lip back to quivering. "You went so far for me?"
"You can't face Hiro confused." Hiei told her firmly. "Not if you want to live. And you do want to live, don't you?"
Shinpi couldn't answer at first. Her tongue had gone dry as she stared at the man before her. Hiei hadn't bothered getting dressed. He remained barefoot and shirtless, her key and that blue stone hanging from his neck. Scars on his chest and stomach and arms. Proof of all the times he'd fought impossible odds and come out stronger.
"Why do you think I'm going all this with Matsuma?" She asked him finally. "It's not for fun, you know. Electricity doesn't exactly tickle. But I need to get stronger."
"There are better ways."
"Hiro controls lightning. I have to face it." She shook her head. "It's as much an exercise in building my fortitude as it is in exposure therapy."
"Mastuma doesn't care about therapy or fortitude. He just wants to hurt you." Hiei scowled then.
"I know. You should hear him. I think he gets off on it." She admitted with a sigh, pushing her fingers through her bangs. "But would you be able to crank the dial to eleven? Would Kurama or Yusuke or even Genkai?"
Hiei stared at her, his eyes narrowing.
"I chose Matsuma because he hates me. Because he won't stop but he won't kill me either." She dropped her hand. "Besides, Hiei, you weren't here. When you leave I have to make these choices alone."
"You could-"
"You don't answer your communicator." She leveled him with a look. "You never have. That's what the others have said. And I can't contact you any other way. I don't even know where you go when you leave. I assume it's Mukuro's, but it could be anywhere. It's unfair of you to demand a place in my life when you refuse to give me access to yours."
Hiei stiffened then, stepping back.
"I'll admit, Hiei, it hurts when you're gone. But I can manage that. It's necessary. You have a job to do." Shinpi shifted and looked down at the necklace again. "I know you care. I just wish you'd let me care too sometimes."
A flood of memories hit him. Of all the times Shinpi had doted on him and made it about herself. Holding him like something precious while he actively voiced his discontent with it. Running her fingers through his hair. Asking to kiss him and being so gentle. Healing him with soft touches and cooking for him. Caring for him. But always trying to make him think it was for her.
Because he would reject it otherwise.
Reject her otherwise.
"We're both pretty fucked up." Shinpi chuckled quietly. "Maybe, put together we'll be a half-way decent person. Functional, at least."
Hiei swallowed.
"Maybe, one day, you'll trust me to not run away." She looked at him with new resolve. "I hope you do, Hiei. Because I'd like to hear you story sometime. All of it. Even the parts that you think would disgust me. I want to share in your burdens the way you've shared in mine."
"It's not worth telling." Hiei countered thickly.
"That necklace begs to differ." She gestured to the stone. "I've seen those before. Maybe someday you'll let me hear how you got that one. I'll be there if you ever do decide to talk about it. I'll be there even if you don't want me to be."
"What a menace." Hiei walked toward her. "I've never met anyone who is as much a glutton for punishment as you are and I've known the other idiots for years."
He stopped in front of her, close enough to touch but not reaching for her. Not yet.
"The entire time I was away, I just wanted to come back to show you the things I'd seen." Hiei told her calmly. "I wanted to share them with you. It never once crossed my mind you'd feel that I abandoned you because I never occurred to me to do so."
"If roles were reversed-" She started.
"I'm not saying I don't understand. I'm saying that we're both idiots." Hiei hushed her. "I'm not used to being missed when I'm gone, Shinpi. I'm not used to wanting to come back. It feels unnatural to me."
Her brows pulled down slightly but she remained quiet so he could finish his thought.
"But," Hiei exhaled heavily, "change doesn't always feel natural. I will find a way to ensure you can contact me if you need me. And I will try to inform you before I leave."
"Thank you." Shinpi smiled at him, that small warm smile that he didn't always get to see.
"In exchange, you need to stop with these foolish ideas about me hating you." He demanded. She chuckled and nodded. "And you need to stop punishing me by withholding things."
"Withholding?" She frowned. "What have I been keeping from you?"
Hiei gently traced the line of her arm from her wrist to her shoulder with his fingertips, even that slight contact feeling overwhelming for him after two months of separation. Shinpi remained still while he skimmed the side of her neck where he felt her pulse hammering away through her skin, and then the curve of her jaw before sliding his thumb over her bottom lip. He brushed his knuckles over her cheek and then ran his fingers through her hair until he palmed the back of her head and drug her to his mouth in a kiss that thawed the chill in guts.
This moment. This is what he'd been waiting for. What he'd been so desperately craving. He had thought any contact with Shinpi might satisfy the strange hunger he'd been developing, but this was the key. A fight would never have given him this, the way Shinpi melted against him, wrapping her arms around his neck like she couldn't bear to let him go.
Hiei drug his hands down her form, appreciating the curve of her waist and the flair of hips as he refused to break the kiss. Then he grabbed the backs of her legs and hauled her upward until she wrapped her thighs around his waist. Their lips never parting. Stumbling, Hiei carried her to the fold out table and sat Shinpi it, his hands moving from legs to the skin of her side under her shirt. His thumb traced a scar there, one he didn't know she had, and he growled against her lips.
"Is that from Matsuma too?" He demanded breathlessly, his temper flaring.
Shinpi shook her head, refusing to release him. "Some idiot stabbed me in a fight a while back. It's nothing."
"Hn." Hiei went back to kissing her then moved his lips down her jaw and toward her neck, delighting in the way she craned her to give him more access. "Show me his face and I will end him."
"I took care of it." Shinpi didn't have the heart to tell him he was the idiot in question. It just didn't seem like the right moment to admit to that particular secret.
"Good." Hiei shifted forward, one knee coming up onto the table. It groaned under his additional weight but he ignored the protest.
"Hiei." Shinpi went to warn him as he crawled over her but didn't get the chance before the foldout table collapsed under them. His forehead bounced off of her chin, causing her to bite her lip as they hit the ground in tangled heap.
"Useless goddamn human inventions!" Hiei grumbled rubbing the red mark on his head. Then stared at Shinpi.
Blood ran down her chin from where her teeth had gone through her lip and she winced, gingerly touching the wound.
"You're bleeding." Hiei made a face.
"Am I?" She pulled her fingers back then groaned. "This hurts like a bitch. Your head is pretty hard."
"You knew that." Hiei joked but then scrambled to find something to help her mop the blood off her face. He managed to retrieve one of the clothes they used to wipe sweat off during training and offered it to her.
"I think I'm better off going to the bathroom to wash off." Shinpi shook her head. "I need to see how bad the damage is."
Hiei nodded even though he wanted to protest. A little blood wasn't enough to dissuade his mood, but if her mouth was actually injured then Shinpi needed to get it healed. "I'll help."
By the end of it, Hiei regretfully had to watch as Kuwabara sutured the wound closed giving direction to care for the stitches over the next few days. Hiei pouted at the loss of his first chance to be intimate with Shinpi since he'd been back.
"I know she can be mouthy, but did you really have to pop her one?" Yusuke joked, elbowing Hiei in the ribs as they gathered outside the bathroom while Kuwabara finished up. "Good thing the big guy is studying medical sciences, huh?"
"I didn't hit her. She fell and bit her lip."
"That's the same excuse a guy gave after smacking my mom once."
"This isn't a joke." Hiei snapped at him, cross for a number of reasons.
"Hiei, relax." Shinpi winced as she tried to smile at him, her lip definitely swollen and not because of their kiss. "I'm going to ice this before I go to bed."
"Yeah and we should get out of here so you can shower." Kuwabara looked at Hiei pointedly.
At first the fire demon didn't understand the pointed statement until he looked down and noticed the blood drying on his chest, arm and shoulder from where he'd helped Shinpi to the bathroom and the initial cleaning of her wound. Grumbling, he conceded.
The others had wandered back to their rooms by the time he quietly opened Shinpi's door, relieved when it wasn't locked. She was curled in bed under the covered, head propped up on her arm and a glass of ice water by the bed. He walked over and crawled onto the bed as gently as he could so he wouldn't wake her. Lying beside her, he listened to her steady breathing. Maybe it wasn't the ending to the night he'd wanted, but it was something. Shinpi was talking to him.
Even if he had accidentally busted her lip.
He sighed, shifting on the pillow not sure why he felt so uncomfortable with his position. He'd been sleeping like shit for weeks. But he always slept on his back. Nothing had changed.
It wasn't until Shinpi snuggled against him, her head on his shoulder, her arm draped over his middle that he finally settled down. It surprised him how comfortable it felt to wrap his arm under her, even though his hand went to sleep soon after. But he barely noticed because he ended up drifting off too.
Hiei walked over with a scowl as Shinpi shook out a black shirt before clipping it to the line. The clothing lines were a sea of black and white, most of his clothing dangled out to dry. Everything accept what he was currently wearing. He'd woken to find that Shinpi had already left him behind and started on her day. It was unusual for him to sleep so late, but it was hard to deny he'd needed the extra rest.
"What are you doing?" He demanded, watching her with a smirk. Hadn't she said before she was done doing his laundry?
"Baking a pie." Shinpi glared at him over her shoulder.
"Funny. Why are my clothes out here?" He asked.
"Because I washed them." She informed him curtly.
"Why?"
"Because you smell." She turned to him with a hand on her hip. "When was the last time you washed your clothes? Some of these were stiff. Do you just take them off, wad them up and toss them on the floor only to retrieve them after a few days?"
Hiei didn't answer her because that was pretty much how he handled his wardrobe. Kurama occasionally offered to do his laundry, or at the temple Yukina would take care of it. Other than their active interference, he never really concerned himself.
"I'm airing out your room too. It positively reeked of sweat." She went back to her task, continuing to clip clothes to the line.
He owned more clothing than he'd realized, he noted looking out over the several pieces. She'd even washed his cloak. And hemmed the frayed edges. He said nothing as he fingered the new threads.
"Were you bored?" Hiei wondered aloud. "Seems like a lot of work for little payout."
"Not having to deal with the stale scent of sweat, blood, and grime makes it worth it." She assured him. "Cleaning relaxes me."
"Thank you." Hiei told her after a moment, remembering her asking him to let her care more the night before. "I…appreciate this."
"You're welcome." Shinpi smiled then and he knew the last month was officially behind them.
The sky had grown grey with cloud cover, the wind blustery as the day wore on. After dragging the clothes inside when the temperature dropped Shinpi scanned the living room and noticed the absence of a particular blonde. With a frown she wondered where the girl had gotten off too.
"Is Hiei training?" She asked Kuwabara, who blinked at her.
"Huh? I think he went into town with Yusuke." He shrugged. "Yukina sent them grocery shopping."
"Did he take the girl?"
"I don't think so. She was walking around the grounds last I saw her."
Shinpi nodded and headed for the door.
"Worried?" Kurama asked cheekily.
"There's a storm coming. She has no sense. It would be more trouble than it's worth to let her get lost." Shinpi narrowed her attention on the fox. "I'm going to go retrieve her."
"What a merciful caretaker." Kurama teased, looking up at her from his book. "She's lucky to have you around."
Shinpi left without responding, stopping to pull on her dark blue wool pea coat. Snow. The first real storm of the winter season. She wanted to make it back before it started.
Runa examined the tracks of the animals in the woods, committing them to memory. She'd heard that Amon-Shinpi was an expert tracker. Maybe she could become one too. And she stayed relatively close to the temple, as demanded of her.
In being so close, she hadn't thought to remain completely aware of her surroundings. The grounds were occupied by some of the strongest beings in this plane. For an intruder to sneak so close, unnoticed, it would be unfathomable.
Which is why she was so startled by the sound of twigs snapping behind her.
Runa's eyes flashed wide as she spun, too slowly, toward the demon looming behind her. His sword thrust forward and she clenched her jaw and eyes closed, ready to accept her bitter failure. Instead she was greeted with the pain of her back hitting a tree which she slid down. Opening her eyes she saw Shinpi where she'd been standing, the demon's sword shoved through her abdomen.
"Run."
Blood trickled down Shinpi's jaw, escaping the seal of her lips as she growled at their attacker. A blue eye shifted to glare at Runa, pupil a pinpoint.
"RUN."
Runa scrambled to her feet, confused. When the demon moved to approach her a green sphere of energy encased him and Shinpi, forcing him to stop.
"I won't let you." Shinpi seethed at him, gripping the blade cutting through her. "Not her."
"She's that important to you?" He bellowed a laugh.
"No. She's that important to someone else." Shinpi bared her teeth and then screamed as he pushed the sword through her torso and into the tree behind her, pinning her in place. It burned. Her eyes misted from the pain but she refused to let the tears fall.
Her hand dipped down to her hip, the other wrapped around the sword buried in her. It was hard to breathe, the pain was excruciating. But her fingers peeled open the leather case, allowing her to grab one of the blue throwing knives she kept on her at all times now. Hiei's gift to her. Raising the knife she slashed the man across the wrist with it, creating a gash.
He jerked back then laughed again. "Is that all the fight you have left in you?"
He twisted the hilt of the sword, jarring open her wound. Shinpi screamed again before biting down on her cheek, tasting blood. Her eyes narrowed and she forced herself to smile at him, a malicious grin that probably looked as strained as it felt.
"Pitiful wretch. I might as well put you out of your misery." He teased her, reaching forward to brush the hair from her face. "Won't you make such a nice omen for what's to come? I'll leave you here like this so that when your friends find you, they can see how powerless they truly are."
Snow began to fall and Shinpi's smirk grew.
"Did you know that even in demons, blood is mostly water? Over ninety-percent usually." Shinpi swallowed down a wad of copper that had invaded the back of her throat. "Blood, the lubricants in your eyes, saliva, bile, hell, even skin. It's all mostly water."
"So?"
"So, have you ever seen an animal left out in the desert?" She pinned him with a twinkling gaze, her lips pulling into a genuine grin. "The carcass gets dehydrated and basically mummifies itself. Water is an essential component to existing, even for demons."
"What are you on ab-"
He blinked, swaying on his feet.
"You never even bothered to notice you hadn't stopped bleeding." Shinpi smirked at him, watching as tears began to pour from his eyes and drool from his mouth, the blood flowing from his cut faster than it should have. "Should have killed me when you had the chance."
He went to step forward and collapsed. Focusing she closed her eyes and used what energy she had left to draw every ounce of water out of his body that she could. It surged out all at once, coating the ground and soaking her feet. A mixture of fluids she didn't want to dissect. Then her knife fell from her hands, her fingers going numb.
"If I had more energy this would have gone faster." She admitted to the dead body curled at her feet. Then she tilted her head back to look up at the whitewashed sky, counting the slowly drifting flakes of snow as they fell lazily toward the ground. "Huh. I guess I should be cold, shouldn't I? How strange."
Her eyes shuttered closed and she sagged, unable to actually fall with the sword still shoved through her and into the tree.
