**
Dear Tam,
Lots to tell you today, but let me start with the 'big burning question' first.
It's 'official'. I don't like girls that way, and Luda (who says she might someday, but wasn't sure because she doesn't like anyone to touch her 'like that') doesn't like me like that.
I went over to her place (after dumping that rotten no-good Bennu into the pond) and Master Fin said that Luda was in her room maybe watching a holo, so I might wanna knock, so I did.
As soon as I got in, she knew something was wrong because her eyes got all big and she said "What's wrong, Pem-sa?" and I told her what Bennu had said (only about Nico and Nomie) and how she needed to talk to Nico, and she said how she'd got a long hand written letter from Nico telling her everything (she showed it to me, and parts of it made me blush because parts of it were so sloppy !) and that once again they were promised to be promised, and Nico said that he didn't mind if they never did more than kiss, and that he loved her with all of his heart.
I said I was happy for her, and she knew I was still upset, so she asked me what was wrong. We sat together on her bed, and she put her arms and lekku around me, and I got all shaky (because I was afraid she would hate me now) and I told her what Bennu had said about maybe me liking girls (I didn't tell her what he'd said about Uncle Kay and Toa). She got all wide eyed and asked me if I did , and I said how I wasn't sure, and she said that it didn't matter, that she would still love me no matter what. I told her again that I didn't know, and that I had never even kissed a girl and wasn't sure if I even wanted too, and in all honesty, I didn't know!
Her voice got really quiet, and she said I could kiss her if I wanted to try it, and I got all scared, but she said it wouldn't mean anything, and that if 'Nico could practice with that sand-dog Nomie and it didn't mean anything' I 'could practice with my Best Friend and it would be OK.'
I said 'OK,' and I kissed her once, and it was just OK. The she put her arms and lekku around me and said 'OK, let's try again' and she leaned in and we even tried deep kissing (I've got better at it) but then we both pulled away and looked at each other and laughed! I told her it felt wrong kissing my sister like that, and she agreed. Her nose all wrinkled up and she said that it was funny, that the only way she could do it was to pretend I was Nico and I laughed even harder because the only way I felt anything other than creepy was to imagine she was Bennu! I asked her if she thought it was because we were sisters, but she said 'No,' (and I'm glad because that's really how I felt) that we were just stuck with the idea that we just liked boys right now.
So that's that! But I still don't understand why Bennu called Uncle Kay a 'freak'. I'll talk to Uncle Toa about it later.
So! The other big news! I am an Auntie again! Auntie Leia had her baby and she said that after a lot of thought (and talks with Pay-pa) she is going to name him 'Anakin Solo' after Grey-pa Skywalker! Pay-pa and Ma-mere are so excited for her! And of course so is everyone else! He is a bit bigger than the other babies were when they were born, and he has a big presence in the Force all ready! Then even bigger news! Ma-mere and Pay-pa told me that I will probably have another brother or sister before my next Life day! (I told them I wanted a sister, but as I have Luda, a brother will be OK too) Ma-mere is glowing like a star-burst right now, and Pay-pa is walking around all proud (Ma-mere said he'd better enjoy 'it' while he could, because this was the last time for sure!) but everyone is really happy right now.
Love,
Pem
