"Yellow"
Bright lights overhead lit up with three loud, metallic bangs. There were quick, quiet footfalls and quiet murmurs.
A woman in black stood over Hiruko's kneeling form, her hand pressed into the base of his skull. White bangs fell about her bowed face. Relief flooded over Itachi's entire being. She didn't go after Sasuke. Katsue was wrapped in a black cat suit covered with straps that held a variety of metal weapons. Those blue eyes were hooded as she looked down at her older brother, reluctant.
"Kat, what're you doing?" Hiruko managed through a tight throat, voice high and wheezy. It was impressive that he was still conscious, even more so that he could speak. His winced open and rolled up to try and look at her, to which she gave an icy glare. He fell back onto an elbow and narrowed his eyes, "You're supposed to be-"
Katsue sent electricity through her fingertips into his head. He grimaced and grunted painfully before falling back to the ground uselessly.
"You were supposed to protect me." She whispered low enough that her entourage couldn't hear as they raided Hiruko's desk, voice hard and controlled. But loud enough for both of the powerful shinobi on the ground to hear. "I trusted you with everything I had."
He had to admit, he wasn't sure how much of her anger was actually aimed at him. Itachi remained silent; he didn't want to interject unless Katsue needed his help. From where he lay unmoving on the ground next to Hiruko, he could see she had everything under perfect control. Not that he could have done much at the moment. His whole body was still numb, he was yet to regain control over his own voice.
"Don't kill me." Hiruko commanded. He didn't beg, he didn't ask it as a question. He simply spoke the words. He didn't seem to really care about death one way or the other.
"Didn't plan on it."
Another flash of blue lightning threaded delicately from her fingertips. Hiruko's head fell limp, eyes staring blindly. There was a device in her hand. It was dark metal with two sharp probes. Hiruko perked up a little, still maintaining that permanent smirk through the immense pain. He laughed sardonically.
"This is how it ends then." He started to say, voice barely a groggy whisper, "I didn't think you had it in you. I'm impressed."
Little gnarls folded the flesh over her nose as Kat's expression fell to a conflicted scowl in her expressive way. Her finger manipulated the trigger, the device snapped and screeched loudly.
Hiruko's attention shifted to Itachi's. "It seems you and I will have to have to chat another time."
Katsue's intense gaze flicked from the weapon in her grasp to the dark haired man then back to the back of her brother's bleeding head.
"Don't talk to him." She muttered to Hiruko. "Talk to me." Her voice wavered just a little, glancing to Itachi, then back to Hiruko. "The effects are irreversible, you said so yourself. Once I do this, you'll be nothing but a wise ass with a god complex. I could kill you if I wanted." Her hard lightning blue eyes softened. "But I can't do that. I have orders."
Orders? Though he appreciated her restraint, Itachi couldn't let him live. Even if he had to fight Katue, he had to end Hiruko and his psychotic abuse of power now.
"Your ocular nerve is cut off, that's why you can't see anymore. Because of that, you can't evaporate." She stated his fate so Itachi knew what was going on, cupping the back of her brother's head now with both hands. She knew that Itachi couldn't move. He realized then that Katsue held both of their fates in her hands. She lifted Hiruko's head enough to reach the device behind his ears, "I am going to give you to Ibiki and X. They will be the ones to clean up your mess." With a quick jerking shove, she jabbed the probes into the base of his skull. As she did this that distant sound of clattering steps came to a halt.
Hiruko's lips turned pale white; his blind eyes grew wide and absent. Kat jerked the device from his skull, blood trailed after the thin needles. The rise and fall of his chest was the only indication that he was still among the living. She tore the tight cover from her face and head. White hair flew out in the shape of a fan before cascading behind her shoulders. It was only after she knelt to check her bother's pulse that she finally addressed Itachi, not once looking at him.
"I won't let you take his life. I have orders to bring him back to Konoha alive." Kat looked over her right shoulder and made a motion. A green haired girl appeared and knelt above Hiruko's head to begin healing the holes in his head. She didn't pay Itachi any mind, almost as if he wasn't there at all.
The staccato of more feet to the floor was the only sound. They echoed across the cold tile walls. Kat held up a fist, indicating that they halt where they stood.
Itachi squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could disappear into the metal floor. But right now, he was too weak to lift his own head. Damn it.
He finally found his voice as he observed Katsue in her natural environment. She was in perfect control here, and it was a new kind of beautiful. He knew she was trained into this meticulous restraint by the monster that lay useless between Yua's knees, but it was something to behold nonetheless.
Itachi spoke with his usual cold indifference, "He needs to die."
Stony blue eyes narrowed as Kat crouched defensively over her brother's body, taking Itachi back to another time and place, when she defended someone else she cared for. Another time that he mindlessly broke her heart.
"I dare you to try. We'll see just how far you can get without your limbs." She dared him to take action; crouching lower, blue eyes unmoving from his black ones. Itachi was still pinned to the floor, though his strength was beginning to return, but not his mental faculties. He had the strength, but not the nerve impulses. It was a strange sensation. The after effects of Hiruko's jutsu were always challenging.
"Did you complete Hiruko's mission?" Itachi wondered aloud, knowing Yua wouldn't know what he referred to.
Katsu smirked, eyes a little narrow. There was a thin smear of blood on her cheek. "You mean to ask, 'did you murder my brother?'"
A small smile came over her lips, "No. I didn't even get to him. When you used that genjutsu a few days ago it messed something up." Those pretty eyes drifted from his gaze nervously. "All of the memories came back when you touched my scars and it made something crack. Hiruko once told me that physical reminders are the strongest along with our sense of smell. It's muscle memory to fall back into a subconscious rhythm." Tired blue eyes softened a little, knowing his next question before he could ask. "Salix is with X, Kaz, and Sora. It was hard to find her, so good job on that one. Kisame is back with his family on shore, He's surprisingly pretty reasonable when you know how to talk to him the right way."
Itachi was a little taken back by her abundant forethought. "How long have you been planning this?"
Kat smirked again, this time a bit more triumphantly. "Let's save the interrogation for later. Right now I need to get this idiot out of here and safely locked away. There's a cell set up for him deep underground in Konoha." Her eyes slid to the back of her brother's skull. "He's having a probe with his technology implanted into his brain in case he somehow manages to regain his blood trait." She eyed her lover where he lay useless on the ground. "Please, Itachi. For once I actually know what I'm doing."
...
"What the hell are we going to do with him?"
"Nothing, leave him alone. He's had a rough couple of days."
"He has had a rough few days? Excuse me if I don't feel much pity." Sora deadpanned, frankly disturbed by his friend's kindness toward an enemy.
Blue eyes moved beside Sora's upper arm to the space behind him. To the dark haired man swirling his index finger around the rim of a teacup, ruminating in silence. Still recovering from Hiruko's intensely suffocating ability. It had left him unable to use chakra for anything. Katsue knew it would heal with time, but Itachi was incredibly fidgety and it made Sora and Kaz very nervous. They were the only two assigned to make sure Kat recovered properly, though it was seeming more and more like she wanted to dismiss them both. Absent was Itachi's Akatsuki cloak, giving him an entirely different appearance. It was a weird position for Sora to be in.
Sora wanted to step to the side and cut off Kat's admiring gaze, but the way her eyes lit at the sight of him made so much sense. They were in love with one another, no matter how wrong it appeared. That was why she wasn't killed that day in Rice Country so long ago. Sora learned over the past few months that truth was far stranger than fiction. Katsue being in love with a murderer was the bottom of his list. He was still wrapping his mind around the fact that she and her brothers were still alive. Hiruko was a genius, and a murderer, and a madman. Kaz began to train as ANBU over the last few months after he learned how to change his wavelengths. He was pardoned by the hokage for aiding their take down of ASEB, as was Katsue. No one knew that Itachi was ever there by Katsue's incessant begging.
What seemed strangest of all was that Kat had a daughter with the murderer sitting at the table looking the part of utter domestication. Sora wasn't sure even Itachi knew that Salix was his. Maybe Katsue conveniently forgot to tell him for a reason. What Sora saw as obvious similarities between the two someone else might not have noticed. Itachi and Salix had a similar air. Something about her was eerily calm like her dangerous father. She took in every bit of information around her even if she didn't act like it most of the time. Unlike her father, more like Katsue, Salix was totally off the wall hyper. She had zero ability to stay on topic unless it really interested her, then you couldn't make her shut up.
"Kat, I get that you want to keep him safe but we can't just do that." Sora warned his shorter friend, doing his best to speak under his breath.
Panic lit her eyes, "He's not what you think." Sora cocked a brow skeptically. The very corners of her lips drooped and she looked to the ground before looking back up at her tall friend. "Fine. He's exactly what you think. But, he just helped us take down one of the greatest threats to the world, can't you cut him a break? Just this once? That's fair, right?"
"He's Akatsuki, Kat. We can't let him go. It would be treason."
Katsue felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. "Not if no once ever finds out. Please, Sora. I would never do anything to hurt someone, especially not you. Please, please just trust me." Her eyes bore into Sora's begging with her every fiber for him to just accept her words. "He would never hurt anyone without a reason."
Sora pulled the tall black collar of his shirt and pulled it down to reveal the thick banded white scar sewing him together, "Sorry, but I fail to see what I did to deserve being cut to pieces."
Blush reddened Kat's face prettily. "I just need you to believe me. Some day I'll explain everything, but that day can't be today. Too much has happened, I'm so tired of all the fighting."
With that said, Kat pushed past her friend into the room behind him where Itachi sat at a small round table, staring absently at his tea, dark hair scattered to his chin. His face was solid and unmoving when she placed her hand over his, pulling his stiff fingers open. She eased into the seat next to his, not caring at all that Sora watched with wide eyes from the doorway.
Then, quietly, she spoke into the silence, "we need to talk."
Itachi nodded a little, bobbing his head.
"I can ask them to leave if you want."
Black eyes were shaded by feathered black lashes. She bit her lip then turned her gaze to her friend in the doorway, pleadingly. Kaz was with Ibiki and X to prepare Hiruko's cell to extremely detailed specifications. Evidently they had been using this house as a takeoff point to watch after Kaz as he acted as a spy for the past six months.
Once the door clicked closed behind Sora, Itachi looked to Kat. Delicate, scarred fingers danced along the ridge of his thumb. They slid gently up to his forearm before settling against it.
"Hear me out, okay?" Her voice was so muted he barely heard it. She whispered something about speaking privately and stood from her chair to walk away, waiting in the arched doorway.
Itachi wasn't sure about any of this. It was hard to imagine a world where he let things slip past his notice. The past three days taught him that he let his guard drop too far. He was pulled into so many different directions that he no longer knew what was real. He couldn't help wondering if this was how his ministrations felt to be Sasuke, or Katsue. If this was what it felt like to be on the other end of his tinkering manipulations then it was complete suffering. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. When was he going to wake up and find this to be some strange nightmare? He had to harden himself against Katsue and her demonic possession over him, he had to keep his brother in the dark. Yua and Sora already threatened his cover enough by knowing he and Katsue were once lovers. Anything more would crack what he worked so hard to build all of this time.
…
We sat cross-legged, facing one another, on a white bed in the room Katsue designated for herself and Salix.
Her small, scarred hands took my wrists and crossed them in her lap, fingertips pressed deep into the prominent tendon. Her knees touched mine, we were so close that I could feel her heartbeat through the small space. Sapphire eyes trapped me in place, even if I wanted to leave I couldn't. All emotion was lost in her expression. Those bright grins and relieved laughter were absent, in there place was someone I couldn't recognize.
She was working, and I was her captive.
"I'm going to ask simple yes and no questions." She explained smoothly, "do not look away from my eyes and don't try to lie," her thumbs pressed to my pulse, "I'll know."
Nodding lightly , I felt my heart begin to coil. It seemed funny that she thought she had the right to question me at this point. There were far more things I needed to know from her time as a killer than what she needed to learn from my past. I needed to know about those memories Hiruko had shown me, about her resurrection, about her time as an ASEB agent and where Hiruko was being held.
With her small warning, she began her interrogation,
"Is your name Itachi Uchiha?"
"Yes."
Her fingers adjusted to feel my pulse more thoroughly. "Do you possess the Mangyekou Sharingan?"
"Yes."
"Do you know me?"
"Yes."
She watched me intently for a moment. "Did we meet when we were thirteen?"
"Yes." My voice was soft, remembering that day.
Her lip twitched to a shuddering frown, "Was there a mission, one that forced you to meet me?"
My heart hit my ribcage hard, slowing my pulse. Right, that was why she deserved this interrogation. "Yes."
Her eyes clenched shut, brows pinched, chest tightened, shoulder dropping a little before she could stand to look at me again. "Did you kill my family?"
"No."
Her breathing hitched, a small smile pulled her lips back up. But it fell away with a whisper, "Did you ever love me?"
I know why she had to ask, but it hurt that she needed my reaffirmation. "I do still."
Wincing away from my words like she'd been struck, her lips pursed. She didn't want to believe me, not for the briefest moment.
It was easier to look at her under this natural light rather than the white incandescent lighting of ASEB. Her beauty reappeared, emerging slowly, shyly, like a late bud blossoming in mid autumn. Withering, fearful of the elements, but a perfect beauty to behold among the surrounding decay.
The porcelain curve of her cheek was embossed on one side, a very thin jagged line, stretching back to her ear. A scar from some wayward mission, I gathered. There was hesitating fear in her emotionless stare. She wanted to disagree with my claim. But she couldn't. From the steady beat of my heart she knew. Tragic fear lingered just below the surface of her flat expression.
Then, broken and quiet, far more so than I was expecting from someone so well contained, she asked, "will you ever lie to me again?"
The words met my heart before my brain, the muscle beating in my chest answered before my contemplative mind could catch the fallacy, "Never."
The single word didn't faze Katsue. This was a word she resented. Definitives were always an enemy of Katsue Kyusho.
"Promise." The line of her jaw sharpened as her back teeth clenched hard, her thumbs pressed into my hands to hold my attention. "Promise you'll never lie to me again."
Sighing lightly, I admitted, "I can't." The way her hopeful expression retracted made me fumble my words, "I promise to try."
My heart felt too small for my chest when she looked at me like that, her words sharp like icicles. "That's not good enough."
My white demon watched my eyes deeply as her hold on my wrists tightened. "I have a daughter to think of now, it's not just you and me anymore. I can't have these half-truths and lies. Not with Salix involved." Katsue closed her eyes, hard, holding her breath to slow her heart. I hated how right she was. It was a frustrating relief to know she was the type of mother I always imagined her to be; fierce and protective. "Please, Itachi. I've given you my life, time and time again. The least I can ask in return is your honesty." Thin white eyelids slid opened, revealing those electric blue eyes that forever held my heart. "I won't play your game by your rules. Not after everything that's happened. If you're going to have even a small role in our daughter's life, or mine, I need your promise."
Frozen in time, sitting cross-legged from each other, her hands softened, wrapping around mine in her lap, running long designs over my palms. So close that we were breathing the same air. So close that I could feel her heartbeat through the strained distance. Every nerve and impulse burned for her touch.
Even in the throws of turmoil, there was stillness. Peace. Just to be near Katsue was to find my center once more. The erratic way her mind worked brought me to her level; allowing me to believe impossible things. Around her I felt balanced, as if the weight I carried was not so heavy. All needed was her heartbeat against mine.
The feeling of her absent pulse between my hands when I held her corpse chilled my blood. I remembered that mournful suffering in detail. Without her I was lost; too sure, too arrogant.
I couldn't lose her, not again.
When I heard my voice, it sounded pathetic even to my own ears. Strained and unwilling. Too quiet, conspiratorial the way I explained myself, releasing words I never wanted to say during this lifetime. "My missions were far more comprehensive than others." I felt her pulse flutter beneath my fingers. I gave her hands a squeeze, pulling her hands into my lap. "I was assigned to kill Hiruko," A heavy pause. "As well as my clan."
Once the words began to form, they couldn't stop. Crystallizing in the air, forming from nothing like snowflakes. My voice fell to a muddled whisper, barely audible, even to my own ears. "I was commanded to kill you and your family, to kill my own mother, my father, friends. Everyone."
Her eyes didn't leave mine, not a muscle moved as she listened.
"It was my mission to save Konoha from an impending civil war but it seems I've had a hand in causing more death and hate than disbanding it." The words said aloud felt true, even if I wanted to deny them. "I could have exposed everything, including the cruelties committed against Hiruko had I taken a different route." At the sound of his name Katsue's fingers clenched around my thumbs, sliding down to press her fingers between my own. A searing hot thrill rang through my stomach at the sensation, wanting more.
My eyes dropped from hers, digging deep for things I'd wanted to admit for too long. "The first time I saw you, it threw everything into chaos. You were so light and free. You embodied everything I wanted to be. I wanted to keep you in a cage. A beautiful songbird of my own. Serenity was not something I deserved then, and I never will."
One warm hand wormed out of mine to pull her hair behind her ears, looking away briefly before taking a quiet breath. Then, she nodded. Once, then twice. Quickly. Like a child listening to her father's instructions.
"You do deserve peace." She spoke quietly into the space between us. Her eyes dropped to my neck, then slightly lower. "That's why I need to borrow that."
A brow quirked at her request.
A small smile pulled across her lips, shy and reserved. A breath left my lungs as a quiet hiss as her fingers skidded up my arms to touch the hollow of my throat, touching the three rings around my throat.
…
His hand collected mine, pulling it slowly to the center of his chest over the fold of his shirt. "Honesty, Katsue"
"Trust, too" I spoke carefully; his emotions were wild beneath those calm features. I slung a finger through the bottom ring of his necklace and tugged gently, unrelenting. "I've come up with a solution."
"Tell me."
Once upon a time in a world I wanted to forget, I watched my brother try to resurrect someone. He practiced time and time again, and I was not unwilling to help. Especially when I knew he was trying to bring back our little Mikah. Although he was never successful, the science behind the jutsu was sound. Kaz theorized a way to make it work without the death Hiruko's forbidden jutsu demanded. But I knew better. He and I worked night and day to come up with a functioning solution, eventually we found one.
I smiled, acknowledging Kaz's genius. "Resurrection."
To that Itachi gave a resounding, "No."
My smiling face dropped to the floor, "I know what I'm doing, Hiruko can-"
"I've come to terms with death."
Another definitive. My heart fell to my stomach.
I scrambled my courage in the face of his intensely dark eyes. Memories were still trickling back into place, shifting false ones out of the way like the gears of a ticking clock, moving and cycling through to clean out my mind. Like the feel of his hard sternum under the flat of my palm, or his rough fingertips the way they felt over the curve of my chin, down the column of my throat only to settle against my own heart. I pulled at the necklace hooked around my fingers, easing him closer, our knees were folded over one another. Elbows bent, the gap slowly filled. He waited for me, not wanting to pressure me into any physical contact. It was funny how he seemed to find his restraint after confiding in me his deepest secrets. Secrets no one but me would know before the end of his life. To me, he was never more attractive than this moment. I think it's because he had never been so real. I leaned over his lap, chin tilted up to seek his lips. His heart hammered against my palm, the heat of his lips mingled with our breath, filling the impossibly vast space between our lips. My eyes closed, his hands cupped the base of my skull, fingers gently twisted in my hair to pull me into his unceasing gravity.
"Mommy?" A soft, tired voice hummed from the doorway.
I jumped back, distancing myself from the sweet torture of Itachi's lips to see our daughter in the doorway.
My heart squirmed. Our silver haired little girl was clutching my scarf to her lips, dark eyes half closed and bleary from her nap as she tried to comprehend the two people sitting on the bed. I started to pull my hand away from itachi's heart but he held it there, his other hand came to rest on my knee. My gaze turned to him, but he wasn't looking at me anymore. He was looking at Salix. Trepidation widened his black eyes, lips a tight emotional line.
"Come here sweetheart," I cooed invitingly to Salix. She slid through the door, bowing away from Itachi like he was an enemy. Using my other hand I reached out to Salix, urging her to come sit on the bed with us. She climbed up but hid behind my waist, peeking up at Itachi nervously from under my arm.
"I want you to meet my friend, Salix." I smiled back to Itachi. He didn't appear to notice or care about my introduction. It would be easier on Salix when he dies if I refrained from telling her the truth. She was too young to really understand anyway.
"He's mean." She whispered from behind my back, as if I was the only one could hear her muted words. I glanced up to see that Itachi closed his eyes, I felt his heart pulse hard once under my palm.
"No, he's one of the nicest people I know. He and uncle Kaz helped us leave Hiewa so you could be with your friends in Ebi. Remember?" I smiled, speaking quietly with Salix.
She hunkered lower behind me, shy. I twisted my hand out of itachi's grip and reached around to pull Salix into my lap, probably far closer to itachi than either really wanted at that very moment. She curled into my chest, burying her face.
I pet the back of her soft head, "it would mean a lot to me if you said hello. He's very nice. Itachi is my best friend."
"He doesn't look nice."
"I bet if you gave him a hug he'd look happier. He gives the best hugs." At that Salix peeked up at me from under her hair. "He might even give you your turtle back."
She turned a little to watch Itachi's face wearily before crawling out of my arms to slap his knee uncoordinatedly, "Are you awake?" His eyes tightened and I knew he was trying hard not to cry from the overwhelming emotion of meeting his daughter. Salix looked back at me when his eyes stayed closed a beat too long, "I think he's dead."
Itachis big black eyes flew open to look at our daughter, the rims of his eyes pink and tender. I kissed the top of her head to keep from crying at the sight of his suffering. I knew this was an impossible choice for him. His whole life was a lie, and the one person who would only know the best of him would only have him for a few months.
"Here," I took Salix's tiny hand in a few fingers and turned her to face her father, I pressed her fingers to the center of his chest. "Feel that? It's his heartbeat, just like you. It means he's alive."
A smile broke out on her lips, unabashed like her uncles. Her hand flattened against his heart. I knew I was making this harder for him, but what kind of mother would I be to let the father of my children die without a fight?
Automatically, his hand covered both of ours. Holding them there. His eyes caught mine as Salix commented on the "thupping" sound in his lungs. It was beautiful watching him get to know his daughter. They discussed why his lungs sounded like that in the most delicate way possible, so delicately that she was left unaware of his impending death.
After a few minutes of quiet conversation it became obvious that he was no longer so sure of his decision to die. It didn't take long for him to fall in love with our little girl. She told him about her collection of reptiles from the island and her names for each one. Eventually we unraveled and I was left by the wayside to watch Salix show Itachi how she learned how to tumble. There was not a moment that he looked unimpressed. Everything she did left him stunned, as if she was all he could see.
At some point I fell asleep.
When I woke alone many hours later in the white seaside sun of mid day, I panicked. I must have been sleeping for ages! I tore out of bed and searched each room. My heart was fluttering like hummingbird wings. No one was here. I sprinted to the deck and stopped short, getting a couple of splinters in my feet from the unfinished wood. My heart went quiet as soon as I could see the beach.
It was warm by the sunlight, by the clean air, and crystal clear mind. The warmth grew to envelop me like a comfortable hug from a long lost friend.
There was my beautiful, chubby legged little daughter, splashing through the low tidal pools, followed by the quick walking strides of her father. She had a misstep and tripped. I took an instinctual step forward, but my worry was unfounded. Itachi scooped her up before she could hit the water. She started crying, she thought she was going to hit the sand and hadn't realized that she was rescued yet. He held her close, one arm under her legs, the other along her back, his hand cupped the back of her head to his shoulder. He kissed the top of her cheek.
A wayward tear glanced across my cheek, barely skimming my skin before hitting the ground. A choked laugh bubbled from my lips. I wrapped one arm around my waist, the other covered my stupid grin and tear streaked cheeks. Itachi's eyes weren't good enough to see me standing there, I was glad for that. Especially when Salix hugged his neck, resting her cheek lazily to his shoulder, looking up the house. That's when she spotted me, speaking quietly into Itachi's ear. His posture straightened instantly, turning to look where I watched. I waved, leaning heavily to a wood beam. Salix waved back, and grouched her face at Itachi for not following suit. He obliged without delay, I laughed again, choking with tear filled happiness.
They came back to the house shortly after. Salix was getting grumpy, in dire need of a nap. I let Itachi deal with that, he didn't mind in the slightest. In fact, he looked to me as if asking permission to tuck her in upstairs. It was a while before he came back to the porch. I could sense the pressure of his presence before he actually entered the space.
"Fall in love yet?" I asked through a sigh, watching the dark ocean crash to bright sand. He nodded, again I didn't see it so much as feel him behind my right shoulder. "Have you changed your mind?"
He was quiet a long time. I wouldn't turn to look, but I heard his noiseless steps across the mossy old porch as he approached. I could feel his breath skate across the top of my hair. He was close enough to lean back on him if I so chose. But I didn't. I refused to indulge the aching need to touch him, not until I could convince him to listen. Not until I had his word.
This wasn't about my love for Itachi, there was no more poignant feeling in my body than that magnetic pull. This was about our daughter and the little thing that was planted inside of me during that last and final operation. If he wouldn't let me resurrect him then I couldn't drop into that hole again. It took losing my memory to climb out, I was unwilling to let that go to waste. While I was strong enough to turn him away I had to keep Salix safe. Safe from the pain of losing her father so soon. I had to save myself from the pain of giving birth alone again. He knew that I was pregnant. Hiruko had told him. But I wasn't going to be the one to bring it up quite yet. That would be too painful an injury to inflict.
He was struggling. I always knew there was something behind the lies. I never once suspected how huge it was. It was like an ocean being held back by a thin dam of cellophane. Once Itachi was killed by his brother, he could be free of this obligation. We could disappear, even I was determined dead. The only ones who knew I was alive were my brothers, Ibiki, Yua, Sora and of course Itachi. That circle would remain small if I asked. Salix could grow up safe, away from a world of chaos. Here in this peaceful place, in this little house.
But I couldn't do that without Itachi. I needed him more than I wanted to admit. Salix experienced more turmoil than any four year old should have to experience. She deserved a stone solid life. So did this unborn one.
"I will do anything you ask," Itachi finally spoke, "anything."
Smiling, proud of my strength, I leaned back to touch the backs of my shoulders to his chest. His arms slid around my middle. It was like breathing the way we fell into this natural rhythm.
"Will you ever stop being so stubborn?"
His chest hopped against my back with a low laugh. "Never."
A sigh. I smiled again, "she's perfect, isn't she." I said this more as a statement than a question. I already knew Salix was perfect and needed no one else's opinion on the matter.
Tilting his head ever so slightly, he leaned his cheek to the top of my head, holding me a little more securely. "She's a whirlwind."
I laughed lightly, "more like a tornado."
"Just like her mother."
My face heated at the way he spoke that word. It felt like he was saying more than he wished to divulge with simple words. "And sweet like her daddy."
"Those two concepts tend not to merge."
"Itachi Uchiha and sweetness? Psh, I always knew you were a giant softy."
He shook his head.
"How long do I have you before..." My voice trailed before I could get the question out.
"A few days. Then I have to go back."
The hollow of my throat felt like it had a cold metal ball lodged in the middle. "When..."
"When he's strong enough. A few months, maybe more."
I wrapped my arms over my hips to grasp his hands. "Then I'll have to go back, too."
"Don't."
"If I go into labor alone again," I paused, remembering the way I rejected Salix. "I can't do it."
Leaning his lips to the top of my head he took a deep breath and released slowly. "Stay here, don't go back to Konoha."
"I have to." I mimicked his voice mockingly. "Besides, the only one who knows what's growing in me is being held there."
"I'd prefer if you'd stay away from him indefinitely."
"I thought we were past telling each other what to do."
"No commands," he revised slowly as if it physically hurt. "Try to keep yourself and Salix safe, no matter what that takes." He stopped there, but I could hear the echo of the words unsaid, 'until I'm back in your arms.'
"Being bossy is your natural default, I think."
"Being absurd is yours."
We rolled back into our natural places so easily. The only differences were his height and my hair. Now that I was relearning myself I realized how much I hated it. I liked my long bangs, they looked better. I looked like an old lady with all of my hair the same length. I was learning the kinds of foods I liked and disliked. One preference that returned as soon as I woke from that genjutsu was my preference for Itachi's touch. I was torn and battered and used so much over the course of the pasts four years that to actually yearn for someone's touch was a new feeling. I actually wanted him to hold me. I wanted to feel his lips against mine, I wanted his rough fingers to touch my skin.
When I took his hands in mine for his interrogation I felt deep parts of my body, ones that lay dormant for so long, begin to ignite. I could vaguely remember the feeling of his hands running over my body as hot rain fell overhead. Ah, right. The shower. I smiled to another little snicker.
"What's so funny?"
"Just remembering something."
"What?"
"That one time in my shower."
Muscles tense, I felt his body temperature flash. I looked up at his face where it lingered above my head. His eyes were closed, a soft pink blush over his cheeks. I nudged his chin with my nose. He didn't look as startled as he felt, fun memory interrupted.
Knocking came at the front door, hard. And Itachi evaporated. Poof. Gone. I sighed heavily. Some things never change.
I opened the door, and was tackled with a crushing hug. He held me like I might disappear at any moment, I scratched the top of Kaz's head. "Hey kiddo, where've you been?"
"Teleporting is off the menu forever, so I had to run all the way from Konoha. Where's Itachi?" He looked ac bit disappointed, "I thought he would be here."
"He's around here somewhere." I rolled my eyes, "he isn't very well socialized, that's partially my fault. I didn't read up on his breed before adopting him."
Kaz laughed like a kid. "There you are," he looked over my shoulder, "did you want the first crack at Hiruko or do you want to leave that to the professionals like Kat?"
Itachi came towards our huddled mass. "There are others he wronged far worse than me."
"Like you," I gave him a nuggie, "you're the kid who beat the bad guy."
"Nah, I'm done messing with people's heads. I'll leave the rough stuff to hardened killers like you guys." he smiled, "where's my niece? I missed her."
Kaz woke Salix up, and she couldn't have been more thrilled. I closed the door and let them hang out without worrying about two highly trained Shinobi parents watching their every move. It was a little more difficult to pull Itachi away, but that was something I expected. I had the feeling he might be a little protective of his little girl. I couldn't blame him.
But something about the stillness of that afternoon was exactly what we both needed. We spoke quietly about what we were going to do with Salix. I told him that she was born without the Sharingan genes, he seemed relieved. He told me he was afraid we might be in harms way by returning home, he brought up the valid point that if the village thought I was dead then they wouldn't look for us after he died. Unlike him, I wasn't comfortable living a lie. Especially not with Salix involved. She shouldn't have to live in the shadows just because her parents were too foolish to stand in the light.
"Am I a bad person?" I asked Itachi when he dressed down into some sweat pants Kaz left for him. It was easy to look at him, he was so damn hot. Even if I hadn't regained my memories, I'd still find him wildly attractive with his defined obliques and arms from years of endless training.
His brow creased, silently admonishing me for checking him out in the light of such a deep question, "Do you think you are?" He asked, lifting the fluffy down blanket I snatched from my baby brother's room. He looked to the spot next to me like it was a pit of spiders.
"What? You can sleep next to me when I'm unconscious, but not when I'm aware and willing? Your logic is weird." I ran my hand over the smooth, clean white sheets with a smile, teasing him a little. When he didn't obey, I took his hand and pulled him down next to me on the left. Naturally, his hand rested in the curve of my hip, where it always belonged. Itachi propped his head up on one hand, looking down at me through feathered lashes, prompting me to answer his question.
"I think I'm a bad person because I had every chance to say no. I could have refused to kill those people. But I didn't. I obeyed Hiruko like his words were gospel." I couldn't bear to look at him after he confessed such deep, self-sacrificing secrets the night before. "I should have challenged him, I should have asked him his motive, I should have-"
Itachi put a finger to my lips with an exhausted smile. "Slow down, I haven't slept in a few days."
My eyes went wide, "Oh gods, the last time you slept was-"
"Next to you." He took my chin between his thumb and forefinger gently, humor danced deep in his eyes at the admission. "And no, I don't think you are a bad person. Misguided would be a better word."
"Then, couldn't the same be said for Hiruko?"
Itachi's hand fell from my chin, giving me this look like I should just shut up and let him love me. But I couldn't. I had so many questions, and so did he.
"I mean, really, lets look at you for instance. You're perfect, in every way. You're kind and generous and loving and strong. I'm the complete opposite. I've only ever done anything to make my own dreams come to fruition, I never once thought to do something more with my blood trait. You're a good guy trapped in a bad guy's body. I'm a bad guy trapped in a good guy's body."
Letting his head droop to the pillow, he stroked the side of my hip in slow circles. "I killed people for the beliefs of my hokage without discretion. You killed for the beliefs of your brother for the same reason. You trusted him not to steer you wrong. Sarutobi was correct in his demands, Hiruko was not. That is where we differ." He smiled a true smile. "Kaz is brilliant, Katsue. He's brilliant for bringing ASEB to light in Konoha before attempting a rebellion. If he hadn't, Hiruko would have killed a lot more people."
Pride could shine through my teeth. "You have no idea how happy I am that you don't really hate Sasuke. He's a good kid."
The suggestion pained Itachi. "He's… something."
Apparently he didn't share my opinion. "Don't say that, he's a little stiff but he's good." My eyes followed the deep lines under his eyes to his tight lips and narrowed them. "Right?"
"There are a lot of things I should have done differently. The way I left him to deal with the massacre is one of them."
I could feel the heartache in his body. I knew another of his worst moments was when he used his sharingan on me when I wanted to tell him I was pregnant with Salix. He told me so earlier in the day. Remembering the pain in his voice when he told me this, I knew there was something I had to tell him before things were tossed into turmoil once more. I took the big hand from my hip and pressed his knuckles to my lips.
"I have something to tell you." Itachi's black pupils danced nervously. I bit my lip. "I'm pregnant."
Withdrawing his hand, Itachi sat up, inching the blanket from my shoulders.
"He's yours." I bit my lip hard again. "Hiruko screwed around with our genes." My hand fell to the strange void feeling between my hips. "It feels different from last time; it's... foreboding."
Itachi slouched, folding his hand over mine where it rested on the blanket then glared out the window. "Shut up Katsue."
My throat tightened with a squeak. I pulled my knees to my chest. How did I know he was going to freak out?
"I love you."
Eyes wide as dishes I stared at Itachi's head, through his loose black hair to his closed eyes. I didn't know what to say.
"Before you say anything else, I need you to know that. I've never hated you, not once in my life. If red correlates to passionate feelings in your blood trait, know that everything you've ever felt has been my love. None of it has ever been hate."
I watched his lips move with baited breath then nodded slowly. "Uh, I love you too. I guess Hiruko showed you some bad stuff, huh?"
His shoulders drooped as he let out a deep breath he had been holding, easing back on one forearm to press a kiss to my forehead before holding me tightly to him, kissing every available surface. Warm hands smoothed to my lower belly, staying there as his head rocked onto my shoulder, planting a kiss to the top of my shoulder as we both fell into a deep sleep.
A/N: Oh my goodness! It's concluded! At least the crazy stuff is. There are a couple more chapters I have written, but they are more supplementary than anything else. Like, what happened with this new little baby? What the hell did they do with Hiruko? Am I really going to Kill of Itachi? What I'm trying to say is that this could be the end if you don't want to keep reading :) Thank you so much for sticking with me all of this time. You are all wonderful and beautiful.
