Author's notes: Again, thank you all for reading, following and leaving all those kind words!

Beyond Reason

Chapter Fifty-Three – Interfering

Jack awoke with a start. And then groaned. Oh, for cryin' out loud, his head hurt! Really, he had never had such a strong, bad headache before, not even when he'd had his first alcohol-induced blackout! Oh god, he really hoped he wasn't going to throw up!

But from the feel of it his head wasn't the only part pounding with pain. His whole body freaking hurt! In fact there wasn't a single place Jack could make out that didn't hurt, so he concluded this wasn't some alcohol overuse he was suffering from.

What the fuck had he actually been doing to end up in such a state…?

Trying his eyes, Jack opened them and looked around. Everything around him was white. White, white and even more white. Jack sighed relieved. If there was something he was familiar with, it was waking up to a white room: the infirmary. But then he stopped. That was wrong. While he'd certainly woken up in enough hospitals to be familiar with white rooms, the SGC's infirmary wasn't white. It was the same dull grey all rooms within Cheyenne Mountain were. And the last place he consciously remembered being had been Cheyenne Mountain and this here certainly wasn't any place within the SGC, so where the hell was he?

Ignoring the pain that all but exploded within his body the moment he even thought of moving, Jack sat up, only to sway noticeably. For a moment he feared he would just crash down on his back once again when a steady arm placed itself around his back and kept him stable.

"So you're up," a well-known voice said.

Jack turned his head and looked right into familiar blue eyes that gazed back warmly. "Daniel…?" the Colonel asked confused, unsure if his eyes were maybe playing a trick on him. Somehow he had the impression he hadn't seen his friend in… forever.

"Hi, Jack. Long time no see," his best friend grinned excitedly, sounding so much like Space-monkey that Jack couldn't question his presence. So why did it actually feel wrong to see him? There was some niggling feeling in the back of his mind that wouldn't leave him alone…

And then the memory hit Jack with the force of a truck. "You're dead!" he exclaimed surprised, looking at Daniel as if his friend had suddenly grown a second head.

Daniel raised an eyebrow. "Why, hello to you, too, Daniel. How are you?" he nudged Jack pointedly but the Colonel wouldn't bite to the bantering.

Sighing, Daniel grumbled: "Yes, I'm dead. Thank you for reminding me of it."

Jack gulped uncomfortably. "What… happened?" he finally asked when the silence stretched.

Daniel shrugged. "Jaffa shot me in the back when I threw the message to you through the Stargate. I died on the ramp in front of the Stargate."

Jack dry-swallowed, once again. Daniel reported it quite detached but Jack couldn't stand hearing from one of his friends' death. Even if, apparently, from the dead guy in question himself…

"We got your message," he murmured.

Daniel nodded. "Yeah, I know," he said and upon Jack's completely confused gaze, he explained: "I kinda watched you guys."

Jack had a hard time wrapping his head around what Daniel was talking about and inwardly asked himself if, maybe, he'd gotten badly injured on a mission, or even while training in the SGC's gym, and they had put him under some heavy drugs and he'd actually just dreamed up the whole thing?

"It's actually possible to watch people on Earth from heaven…?" Jack asked the first thing that came to his mind. Well, after the whole shit with the Goa'uld, the last thing Jack would have expected to be greeted with after his death was an afterlife in heaven. Well, at least he hadn't gone straight to hell. Apparently saving your planet was enough good karma to make up for lusting after your 2IC and quite literally screwing the frat regs with her…

Daniel looked at him as if he tried his best to not laugh at Jack. "Jack, we're not in heaven," he said.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Oh? I always thought white equaled heaven and hell was red…?"

Daniel still smiled, obviously trying his best to stay calm. "Jack, this is neither heaven nor hell. Nothing like that exists. And the place here is only white because you make it so. This is your place, so it looks like what you're imagining it to look like."

Jack almost groaned. How come Daniel's explanations often tended to make it all so much more complicated? "Danny-boy, quit the esoteric shit and tell me straight: have I died?" he demanded. Actually, that was the only explanation Jack could think of why he was sitting next to his supposedly dead friend.

Daniel chuckled while looking at him fondly. "Not quite," the archaeologist answered. "Your healing powers do an amazing job at keeping you alive but they will fail sometime soon. You've spent too much energy on healing Sam."

Jack shuddered, but not because of his soon-to-be death but rather because of… "Sam!" he shouted. "How's she? Is she here, too?"

Daniel shook his head. "No," he said. "She's made it. The SGC made a deal with Nirrti: they let her and Ares go back through the Stargate and for that she's healed Sam with the SGC's Goa'uld healing device."

Jack gaped at Daniel while slowly anger and confusion began to take hold over him. He didn't even know what was more appalling to him: that the SGC was willing to make a deal with a Goa'uld (even though this deal had seemingly saved Sam's life and for that he was grateful) or that they hadn't thought of concluding him into the deal…

Apparently, Daniel could see it and set to explain further: "Cheyenne Mountain has closed off after the foothold situation until it's all cleared up. This also meant no gate travel, so they couldn't contact the Tok'ra. And since Sam is the only one on base, who's able to use Goa'uld technology, nobody else but Nirrti could heal her. They thought you dead already, Jack, or they would have tried to save you, too. Janet examined you but you had already stopped breathing and your heart stopped beating on the way to the infirmary, so there was nothing she could do than declare you dead."

Jack sighed and raked a hand through his hair. This was all so confusing! He felt bad for the Napoleonic power monger, who would undoubtedly blame herself for his death. Even though, apparently, he wasn't really dead, from what Daniel had said?

And then there was Sam. Although Jack was seriously glad she had made it through and he would have given his life to have her survive any time, he knew unfailingly what it would mean for her. She was probably under arrest and maybe already aware that he hadn't made it through. She would have to deal with confinement again as well as his and Daniel's death. This time, she would be all alone. He wasn't there with her anymore. He couldn't ever be there for her anymore.

And going by his own feelings, Jack assumed it would slowly kill her. Everything had been ripped from her: her life, her free will, her closest friends. At least Teal'c was still with her, Jack tried to reassure himself. The Jaffa would undoubtedly do all he could for her.

Again, Jack sighed and looked over to his friend, who was still steadying him with a hand. "I thought you said I hadn't died yet?" he inquired, confused why the SGC would think him dead.

"You haven't," Daniel answered. "But you've exhausted your whole energy. Each last drop your body can conjure up is going into your healing, so all other physical reactions, even your breathing and heartbeat, have temporarily stopped. If you ask me, that is a really fascinating reaction! It is almost similar to an animal's hibernation or Teal'c's kel-no-reem. I wonder if–"

"Daniel!" Jack all but screamed. Even in afterlife, the archaeologist apparently couldn't stop annoying Jack out of his skull with his technobabble!

Daniel snickered by the oh-so-typical Jack-reaction. "No, you're not dead. You're stubbornly holding on," he clarified. "But you can't heal yourself anymore. You don't have enough energy left over."

"So I will die," Jack said emphasized.

"Eventually? Yes," Daniel nodded.

"Great!" Jack grumbled sarcastically. Just his luck! He'd finally had all he could have dreamed for in his life and then he died! At least this time fate had had mercy on him and made him go, not some person close to him. If it had been Sam to have died? Jack wasn't sure if he had been willing to go on, even more so when Daniel had also been dead.

Pissed off, Jack motioned around with his hand. "So then where exactly are we? Are we supposed to spend our afterlife here?"

Daniel grinned. "No, not really. I told you there was no afterlife. We're simply on another level of existence."

Jack looked at him blankly. "We're… what?"

Daniel sighed and contemplated for a moment how he could explain it best. Then his face lit up. "Ah, do you remember Orlin, Jack?" he asked.

Jack raised an eyebrow, telling Daniel pretty much he had no idea what the archaeologist was talking about. "The ghostly guy that was haunting Sam?" Daniel explained.

"Oh, you mean the one that could turn into energy and was of the opinion he was dating Carter?" Jack grouched. Yeah, that had been an experience he hadn't tried very hard to remember. There was just nothing like standing in front of her door, dragging Daniel and Teal'c along to pretend they were about to do a team night, just so he could check on her, and getting told she was having a date! Jack could still remember vaguely that while he had stubbornly held on to his calm façade for that day, he had thoroughly dressed down some poor, innocent Lieutenant the next day in a childish fit of temper only to be able to vent some of his anger somewhere. Somewhere Carter wouldn't see it.

"So what about him?" Jack grumbled, not really pleased to have been reminded of that incident. And the amazing loss of self-control he had shown.

"He claimed he was an Ancient who had ascended to a higher form of life," Daniel said.

Aaaand even more of the esoteric crap, Jack thought inwardly. What was it with those cryptic, pseudo-mysterious explanations nobody believed anyways? Still, deciding to trust his friend, Jack nodded, indicating for Daniel to go on.

"It's true," the archaeologist said simply. "The Ancients really have developed to a level where they could leave their physical bodies behind and rise to a form of pure energy, making them immortal. Now they exist on a higher level of existence and have an overview of all happenings in the galaxies."

"Yeah, sounds… nice and all, but what does that actually have to do with us?" Jack asked.

Daniel shook his head good-naturedly. "You know? When I died, I did it in full knowledge that this would be the end," Daniel revealed. "After all we've seen I didn't believe in something like an afterlife anymore. And yet when I had died, I had found myself standing next to my corpse."

Jack looked at him alienated. "Really?"

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. And there was someone with me there: Oma Desala."

Now Jack was surprised. He remembered the ethereal being they had encountered while searching for the Harsesis child. So had she actually been an Ancient? Was that what he had to imagine the Ancients to be like? What Orlin had been like? Well, that was just proving him right once more: Carter had no taste in men!

"She made me an offer," Daniel continued, unaware of where Jack's thoughts had travelled. "She said I was… advanced for a human and if I would be able to ascend, she would take me with her."

Yes, Jack thought inwardly, that sounded exactly like the kind of thing Daniel would fall for.

Daniel shrugged. "I really had no idea how to… ascend, but she gave me some instructions and seeing that I haven't disappeared, I apparently succeeded."

"So that explains, why you're here," Jack summed it up pointedly.

Daniel agreed with a vague sound. "As an ascended being you can see and watch everything. You are aware of everything that is happening and you can follow everything. You know of everything that is about to happen. But you're not allowed to interfere," Daniel explained. "You have to let everything play out the way fate and time intended it to be. The Ancients aren't tolerating any interference."

Jack knew Daniel was telling him why he hadn't been able to do anything to come to their help and with a curt gesture he clapped his hand on the other man's shoulder to tell him nonverbally he understood.

"Sounds like fun," he said.

Daniel shrugged noncommittal. "But then you died…" he murmured. "You rescued Sam and were slowly dying yourself."

A haunted look appeared in Daniel's eyes and the Colonel asked himself how much it had hurt him to have to watch, knowing he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"Yeah…" Jack said slowly. "I kinda remember getting shot down by a zat. Twice, if I'm right."

Daniel nodded confirmative. "You were incredibly lucky. There was enough time between the two shots that your healing abilities could repair enough of the damage so that second shot wasn't immediately fatal."

"Not immediately? Oh yes, that's really what I'd call lucky: to see my own body fail and have to watch myself die!" Jack remarked sarcastically.

Daniel nodded absentmindedly and then, silently, added: "I understand. I have to watch, too."

Stumped, Jack halted in whatever he had been about to say. He could practically feel how much it had hurt his friend to have to observe Jack falling under friendly fire, knowing all the while what it would do to his friend.

"I couldn't just stand by and do nothing," Daniel admitted. "So I pleaded with Oma to help you the way she did with me. Since you were badly hurt, you couldn't ascend on your own and so she let you rise to the next level. I am here to welcome you, so to say…"

Now Jack really gaped at his friend. "What?!" he all but exploded. "Oh no! Lemme get this straight, Danny-boy! Not that I'm not grateful for you saving my sorry ass but there is no fucking chance in hell I'm going to sit by on the sidelines for all eternity and watch without being allowed to actually do anything!"

Jack just knew he would break the rules at the first chance he'd get. Not that the thought of seeing Carter again wouldn't be tempting but Jack knew himself good enough to be sure that the first time she, the SGC or Earth would be in danger from those bloody annoying Goa'uld he would give a shit about the rules and interfere.

"Come on," Daniel cajoled. "I know this isn't exactly your style but–"

Jack shook his head determined. "Not exactly my style? Daniel, how can anyone even stand that?!" he growled.

Daniel squared his shoulders, a firm look passing over his expression. "I'll show you," he said.

Suddenly all the white around them vanished and in a whirlwind of colors Jack could feel them travel. When the world around them stopped once more, Jack had to take only one look to know they were standing in one of the SGC's isolation rooms. Daniel was standing next to him, a hand still attached to Jack's shoulder, although the Colonel felt considerably more stable by now. The pain he had been in had seriously lessened and was by now only a throbbing sensation cursing through his body. Absentmindedly, Jack asked himself if that was a good or rather bad sign.

"You can do whatever you want," Daniel said quietly. "Although we're really here, nobody can see or hear us."

Jack looked up to the corner of the wall where he knew the surveillance camera hung but since nobody came charging in to point weapons at them, he assumed what Daniel had told him to be the truth. Slowly, Jack turned, taking in all the familiar sights of one of the SGC's rooms. He knew every corner and crack in the wall but seeing that he had been gone from the SGC for about half a year, it was a strange feeling to be back. Almost… alien.

Jack did another turn and froze in his tracks. His head actually needed a moment to catch on but then his feet moved on his own accord. Daniel hadn't just brought him to some isolation room, he had brought them to her isolation room!

Jack stopped at the hospital bed placed in the middle of the room and looked down on Carter's still, sleeping form. As uncountable times before, she was hooked up to machines that surveilled her signs of life and an IV stood behind her bed, unused but there to provide her with fluids and meds should the need arise. Jack was immensely relieved by the steady heartbeat the monitor of the machine placed next to her bed showed off. She looked like shit, with dark circles under her eyes, her skin sickeningly white and her lips tinged with a blue hue, but at least she was alive. The arm that was lying above her blanket was tightly wrapped in bandages and Jack realized that it was the one she had put onto the Stargate in that reckless move that had nearly cost her her life. He still remembered the heart attack he had almost gotten at seeing what she had been doing. He still remembered the overwhelming urge to hit her for doing what she'd done when he'd seen her fall, when the Stargate had finally died down. And he still remembered the crushing, overpowering worry he'd felt, thinking she wouldn't make it.

Looking down at her, Jack was suddenly overwhelmed by immense regret. He didn't regret dying. He didn't regret leaving her back. He felt sorry for that but he didn't regret it. What he did regret however was that he had never told her. He had never told her how much he loved her when he had still had the time. They had been given months together and never had he used an opportunity to tell her. Now she would never know.

Daniel stepped up to him and again laid a hand on his shoulder. Jack swallowed uncomfortably and then asked awkwardly: "Um… can I… touch…?"

"She won't feel it but you can touch her," Daniel said.

Jack hesitated but then reached out a hand and laid his fingers on her cheek. He felt the resistance of touching a solid object but that was about all he felt. He couldn't feel the softness of her skin or her body's warmth. And she didn't feel his presence at all. Strangely, Jack felt even more deprived than before and drew his hand back.

"I'm sorry, Carter…" he murmured, even though he was unsure what exactly he was apologizing for. And knowing that she wouldn't hear his words was making it even hollower.

"That's what makes it worth enduring," Daniel said quietly next to him. "Seeing them again. Knowing what is happening to them, even though we're not with them anymore."

Jack disagreed. To him, it was another form of torture. To see her but not be able to touch her? To watch her but not be able to speak with her? To see her struggle, fight, endure and not be able to help her? That was a nightmare straight from hell and not the honor Jack was pretty sure the Ancients considered his ascension.

"I can't do that!" Jack exclaimed brusquely and pushed away from Carter's sickbed. Daniel followed him, not taking his hand off of Jack's shoulder and for the first time Jack thought it to be annoying instead of reassuring. What was with the amount of touching the archaeologist was showing? If Jack was right, then they still had all eternity in each other's company, so there was no need for all that touchy-feely stuff, was there?

"No?" Daniel asked sadly.

Jack shook his head. He'd rather be dead than to have to watch Carter from the sidelines for the rest of their lives. He rather didn't want to know at all than having to witness everything from the first rows without having any say in the matters at all.

"Daniel, I'd rather be dead!" Jack admitted.

He could see the hurt look on his friend's face but that didn't change anything about the way Jack felt. He was sorry for what he put Daniel through but there was no way he would stay around only to watch.

Daniel came to stand in front of him and put both hands on Jack's shoulders. His eyes were swimming in tears but he was smiling. "I can't say I'm surprised," Daniel said. "But I can't just let you die, Jack. I'm sorry."

"Daniel, if you think that–!" Jack began furious but he was cut off when something that felt like a brick wall slammed into his body. Jack gasped and cringed when the pain came back doubly but Daniel held onto his shoulders with a determined expression.

"Oh, for cryin'…!" Jack panted, trying to straighten up once more before focusing on his friend. "Daniel, what are you doing?!"

Daniel looked at him strangely calm. "Interfering," he said simply. "You're not dead yet, Jack. You need energy for your healing powers to pull you through. So I'm giving you mine. After all, energy is all we are up here…"

Jack gritted his teeth, trying his best to not lose consciousness thanks to the unbearable pain.

"But I thought… you're not allowed…!" he stuttered.

"I'm not," Daniel admitted. "And I will pay the price. But at least then you'll have survived."

Daniel looked at him with a peaceful, relaxed expression on his face. "Go back, Jack. Go and help Sam. Be there for her. This is all I can do for you two."

"Daniel–!" Jack protested but it was too late. He could feel Daniel's energy slam into his body with such a force Jack lost consciousness immediately.

When he awoke again, he had no idea how much time had passed but oddly, Jack remembered everything. Lying on his back, Jack felt decidedly better. The pain was gone, replaced by a familiar soreness in his body that told Jack his Ancient genes had done a thorough job of healing him. Physically, he expected to be fine. Emotionally, he felt like having gone through a rollercoaster. Daniel…!

Jack felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes. He had no idea what had happened to his friend but strangely Jack could understand his actions. It was so typically Daniel and if Jack had been in his stead, he would've probably done the same, if he was honest. And while Jack felt the familiar urge to go and kick his friend's ass for having acted recklessly on his own and disregarding any wishes Jack might have had on the situation, he respected Daniel's decision. He had done what he had felt to be right for the team, for their little family. Still, he was going to hear it from him if they met again in the afterlife!

But now, Jack had another team mate he had to look after. Focusing, Jack pushed the worry and the concern for Daniel back, far off into a corner of his mind, intending to deal with it later. Much, much later.

Sitting up, Jack wasn't really surprised to be greeted with the SGC's characteristic grey walls. He was surprised however by the silence that hung in the room's air. Nobody was here. Confused, Jack looked around. He was lying on a bare, flat surface with a flimsy excuse of a blanket drawn over his body. From the medical look of things, he was in the infirmary as the room resembled an OP more than the usual recovery rooms. It only clicked for Jack when he noticed the rectangular shapes of brushed steel all over one of the walls. The mortuary! His body had been placed in the morgue to be prepared for his funeral! Okay, he should have expected that given Daniel's explanations but still he couldn't help but be offended!

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Jack yelled indignantly: "Hey! I'm not dead yet, y'know?!"

All the while knowing nobody would hear him in here anyways.


A/N: So, the turning point you all were waiting and hoping for?