'Twas a lovely day at Warwick Academy. The sun was shining happily over the campus, the birds sang sweetly, and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky. It was a perfect day for outdoor recces, and as such our boys were enjoying it with their friends. They were all sitting in a circle on the grass, playing cards in the grass.

"So, how do we know who's the 'old maid', again?" the blonde asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Look, you stupid bastard, we've explained this to you ten bloody times, already! We aren't explaining it again!" said a very peeved boy in a silly-looking pink tie.

Alois looked like he was about to get up, reaching for his pocket, before a third boy caught his eye. It was Ciel Phantomhive, and he was holding his hand out to the boy expectantly.

"Give it." he said.

In a huff, the boy sat down and reached into his pocket, surrendering it's contents. What he retrieved from his pocket was a sock, filled with coins, judging by the small jingling noise it made, with a knot tied in the end. It was the boy's improvised nightstick, or, a new one he had made recently. He put it in the bluenette's hand obediently.

"You were gonna use that on me?!" Kristopherson exclaimed.

"No, he was not." said Ciel, shooting his blonde friend a dirty look. This caused the boy to shrink a bit, defensively.

Upon further inspection, the sock in the palm of the bluenette's hand didn't feel like it contained coins. He shook it a bit before untying the knot in the end and emptying it's contents into his free hand. The blonde got another cross look, immediately.

"Where did you get these?" Ciel showed the source of the jingling noise and the weapon's weight to be nuts and bolts of all things. He couldn't even begin to imagine where the blonde retreived them from.

"Well, I may or may not have gotten them from Kristopherson's bicycle..."

"WHAT?!" The boy stood up upon hearing this. "You better not have!"

"Wow, Trancy..." Daniel, one of the other boys in the circle, was struggling to contain his laughter. "Pfft-! Kris, I'm sorry about your bike."

Kristopherson was furious. He did have a slight crush on the blonde boy, but the boy was insane. Often was he at a loss for how to handle this. He knew very well that Alois could be joking, however, there was still a chance he was not. At that moment, he had to make a choice, and he chose to check on his bike. He scampered away, shouting every swear word he knew.

The circle was quiet for a while, that is, until Daniel spoke up. "Are those really from his bike, Trancy?"

"Pssh! No. I found them."

"And where exactly did you 'find' them?" the bluenette asked his friend. He knew that there was no way in hell that the blonde menace had simply "found" them.

"You can find them on practically anything old and made of metal. From the bleachers in the gym, to various sports equipment..."

"Are you saying that you're the reason that the basketball hoop fell off during the team's practice, yesterday?"

"I never said that." stated the blonde, plainly.

He was odd. He did these things and felt no guilt for his actions. Now, the basketball hoop wasn't entirely intentional, but he still found it amusing. Alois Trancy, "The Blonde Menace", loved to toy with people. He pulled pranks, big or small, as long as he found them funny.

That is why Ciel didn't know what to think of the blonde's actions the previous night. He had been kissed on the cheek by the boy, and couldn't tell if he was serious, or just playing with him. This is perhaps why he wasn't being lenient with Alois' antics lately. Normally, he probably would have let him threaten Kristopherson with the "killer sock", due to the fact that it would only be a threat. However, the game has changed, and the bluenette didn't find it as funny as he used to.

Now he was annoyed. Annoyed at the fact that the blonde could have just been playing with him, and annoyed that he couldn't figure it out. He was also quite embarrassed that his inquiry that night could have tipped off Alois to his true feelings. God, how he wish he didn't have feelings.

The bell rang, ending their game of cards. The demons said "goodbye" to Daniel for the day, and headed to their next class.

"Hey, Ciel, what are we doing in Biology today? Do you know?"

"Yeah, I think Mr. Carver said something about dissection." The bluenette felt his lips twitch into a small smile. The thought of Alois having to dissect a frog was hilarious to him. Nevertheless, he forced himself to maintain his usual face of indifference until they reached the classroom.

"Alright, today we're going to cut things up. Now, doesn't that sound fun?" the man behind the teacher's desk said, smiling.

Mr. Carver was a rather scary-looking man. Not in the same way as Mr. Irons, who was scary because he looked powerful, but Mr. Carver was scary as in creepy. He had beady eyes, and long, skinny, wrinkled fingers that seemed accustomed to holding scalpels, and he wore a lab-coat with mysterious dark-red stains on it. One of the many rumors circling about within the school-walls is the it was he that is responsible for the disappearance of the student, Maxwell Goddard, but the two boys, the butler, Sebastian, you, and I all know that this is not the case.

The students donned their lab-coats and latex gloves and went to their stations. They were allowed to choose their own partners, so our dynamic duo were able to work together, of course. This worked out perfectly for the bluenette, who would get to see Alois' response first hand.

He picked up the scalpel and made an vertical incision on the frogs stomach, looking at the blonde's face in the corner of his eye. Nothing yet. He made the next cut just below the frog's arms, and above it's legs. It was only when he separated the skin from the muscle that he got any sort of a reaction. Alois furrowed his brow, and made a disgusted face.

"Do you want to do the next part?" Ciel asked in feigned innocence.

"What do I need to do?"

"You need to pin the stomach flaps to the tray so we can see it's organs."

"O-okay..?"

Hesitantly, the blonde boy took the forceps and began this process. He was doing well until the frogs organs actually became visible. He gagged at the sight.

"Ugh, it smells!"

"Like guts and formaldehyde. Keep going, you're doing fine. See those green things? Remove them."

"What are they?"

"Eggs."

Now the blonde nearly trew up. He cut them out, picked at them, did what was necessary up to a point. Eventually though, he nearly threw down the tools.

"Nope." he said.

"Oh come on, you almost had all of them." Ciel was in no way, even trying to hide his smile at this point.

Alois put his hands in the air. "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, NOPE."

He was not having this. For some reason, he just couldn't. It was bizarre, he had seen blood before, in fact, he himself had been stabbed in the stomach. The boy had no problems with impaled angels and such, but cutting open dead preserved frogs was too much. He drew the line in a strange place, but it was drawn, and it will not budge.

"Fine. At least take this tag, and label something." the bluenette said, handing his friend a small paper tag with a string on it. "Just tie it around the organ."

Taking a deep breath, the blonde took the tag and wrote on it. He made an attempt to tie it to the amphibian's heart. His fingers worked trying to tie a knot around the slippery organ, before he made a small squeal and retreated.

"Oh my god, it moved!"

Ciel laughed, actually laughed at the boy. Head's turned to investigate the source of the squeal, to see this. No one at Warwick had ever seen Ciel Phantomhive laugh before.

"Ah-haha-ha! That noise! Oh my God, Alois, you're such a girl!" He was clutching his stomach, he was laughing so hard.

The face of the blonde being laughed at turned a shade of pink. "I am not!"

"'Oh no! It moved!'" The bluenette teased, using his best Alois impression.

"It did!"

"It's dead!"

"I know it moved! It did, I swear!"

"The frog is not a zombie, Alois."

"That's just what it wants you to think!"


A/N: MOTHER OF GOD.

Alois just blew my mind.

Personally, I've had to dissect frogs and cats, (True story. I named it "Schrodinger".) and I was hardly affected at all. Then, when I had to handle ground beef to make hamburgers in cooking, I nearly puked. Again, the line has been drawn. I will not move it. I cannot move it.

Enjoy your filler, children...

"Alois is such a girl" seems to be a reoccurring phrase. I like it. Originally, I wanted to use "Did someone say 'Alois Trancy'?" as a running gag, (a play on "Did someone say 'Draco Malfoy'?") but it never worked out. There's another joke that I wanted to use this chapter, but just couldn't fit in. "Oh my god! We killed Prince *insert name of random British prince here*!" "Frog Prince", get it? It also just wasn't very funny. Alois would have said it, naturally...

But still,

Alois is such a girl, you guys. Just sayin'...

(Then what does that make Kristopherson?)

(A fish?)

Until next chapter, my duckies!