DISCLAIMER:: do not own. just borrowing for purpose of creative expression. no profit obtained.

A/N:: this chapter is a mini step back, but fear not, regina will come around. the only question is will she come around in time.

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-Chapter 47: The Way Your Lips Look When They've Been Kissed-

Somehow she knew she was back. Her eyes sprang open and she sat up, looking around the mayor's bedroom, which was slowly becoming as familiar a setting as her room at Mary Margaret's flat in this world. "No. No. No no no." She fell back down on the pillow and frantically shut her eyes. This was not good. What if something had gone wrong? She had never woken up after going through the elemental portal. What if part of her, or all of her for that matter, had gotten lost somewhere between the Forbidden Forest and the northern border? This was not good. This was not good at all. She had to go back. There was still so much she needed to tell Regina. And Savya? She had to go back.

"Emma."

She thought the voice was in her head at first, calling to her from the other world. Had she really been able to force herself back to sleep, to return? She'd never accomplished it before. But it seemed slightly different than the voice she associated with the former Evil Queen.

"Emma, you're fine. It's okay."

The brunette's name slipped through her consciousness, replaying over and over, a mantra meant to soothe. She couldn't tell if it was only in her head, or if the name was slipping from her lips too. Regina. Regina. Regina. Arms attempting to pull her close confirmed that she was muttering the name aloud.

"It's alright. It was a nightmare. You're safe."

And just like that, she calmed. It seemed Regina in either world had the propensity to ground her. She opened her eyes and saw the brunette leaning over her, worry spelled out across her face in the dim glow of moonlight coming in through the window.

Regina put a hand to her cheek, running her thumb across the soft skin in a gesture meant to soothe. "Hey, you're okay."

It was one of the softest moments Emma had seen from this Regina and suddenly feeling guilty, she stared up into her eyes apologetically. "I didn't mean to wake you. I'm sorry."

Regina's thumb continued its soothing strokes upon her cheek. "Shh Shh Shh. Hush now." She finally removed her hand, but only to lay down beside the blonde on her side. She ran her fingers down Emma's arm, stroking the bare flesh. She didn't ask, didn't pry, though her mind was burning with curiosity. Emma had been calling out her name for far longer than the blonde probably realised. She had been gently thrashing in her sleep, calling out that one word and then she'd sat up, looked around, and fallen back down onto her pillow. Regina couldn't imagine what had been plaguing the blonde's mind in sleep, all she knew was that it revolved around her. It was part of what kept her from asking, not that she didn't want to know, but a part of her believed she might not like the answer.

Emma looked over at the brunette, who was studying her scrupulously. She knew she'd probably be refused, but despite being well aware of it, she found the fragility she felt superseded her fear and she turned on her side, curling her body against the brunette's. But she was surprised when long arms wrapped around her, holding her close. She buried her face against the older woman's chest.

Regina stared at the moon outside the window, one arm securely holding the blonde against her, the other running through silky golden locks. It wasn't in her nature to do this, to do intimacy. But then again, she'd been doing a great many things she'd never done, all since that night the blonde had shown up on her doorstep to return Henry. It had been a vast amount of years and a different world since she'd felt someone's love, an even greater number since she'd been able to love for herself. Her heart was no longer capable of such things, but she found herself wishing somehow it were. Regina Mills wanted to love Emma Swan, but it simply was no longer possible.

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"The sun's coming up."

Emma groaned, causing Regina to chuckle. They'd been laying together for hours, trading turns holding each other, pressing unhurried kisses to each other's foreheads and temples. It was the most relaxed either of them had been with each other since they'd met in this world, something reminiscent of Queen Emma's relationship with Queen Regina. Emma didn't want the sun to come up, because it signaled the end of this, it was the sign that they needed to return back to reality, to the push and pull of this tumultuous relationship they had developed. In the confines of Regina's bedroom, the brunette had let down so many walls, now, with the sun, they would build themselves back up again.

"We have to get up. I have to get ready for work. And we need to check and make sure our son is alive."

Emma shook her head childishly and buried her face against Regina's chest, her arms wrapping tighter around the brunette.

"Emma." Regina tried to sound stern, but the mirth could not be kept from her voice. She nudged the blonde. "Emma, come on."

Again, Emma shook the head still buried against the brunette's chest, like a petulant child refusing to hand over a toy. She expected to be flung off, to be threatened with exile to the spare bedroom. What she was doing was completely against all the training she'd received from Daniela, but in this moment, she didn't care. She wasn't Queen Emma after all, she was Emma Swan, and Emma Swan did things differently.

But Regina didn't push her off. "I suppose I could be late to work just this once."

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"Madam Mayor, what brings you by?" Graham stood from his seat.

Regina said nothing, just tossed her purse on his desk as she came quickly around it, placing a firm hand on each side of his face, and bringing her lips to his so harshly it was as if she were trying to suck out his soul through his mouth.

For a long moment, Graham, ever the docile bed slave he'd always been, fell back into old routine, accepting the kiss without complaint. Then his senses returned to him and he began to push back even as she pressed harder into him. Finally he managed to pull back far enough to break free and get the chair between them.

"What are you doing?!" He wiped away the lipstick residue evidence from his lips with the back of a hand, looking at her with wide, frantic eyes. "Emma is my deputy! She's my friend!"

With her smeared red lips and mussed hair, Regina Mills looked the picture of broken as she looked down at her hands. "I… can't care like this. My heart doesn't work that way anymore. It isn't possible!" She sounded more as if she was trying to convince herself rather than stating fact. She'd been this way all morning at work. Once she'd left the safety of the bed and Emma's arms, the panic had taken root in her chest and spread like a cancer, growing with every moment she was left to her own musings.

"You love her." He stared at the woman, one who he'd feared for so long, everyone did. Now the blonde newcomer, the first person he could ever remember stopping through and deciding to stay really, had reduced her to this. In an instant she had gone from stoic politician to broken woman. He didn't know whether he was more amazed by the transformation itself or by the blonde's ability to punch through the hard woman's armour like a hot knife through butter.

"No, I don't." Regina looked so melancholy that he almost believed her. She sighed. "But I could."

It was that admission, more than anything else, that convinced him Emma had already found her way in. Not only had a hole been created in the armour, but the mayor was willing to bring that vulnerability to light. Regina Mills cared deeply for Emma Swan. And that care looked a lot like love. "You should be telling her all this yea? And you most definitely should be kissing her, not me."

The brunette shook her head. "I can't do that." At his raised eyebrow and skeptic expression, she just sighed.

"Are you afraid the world's going to come crashing down around you just because you kiss her then?"

Regina bit her lip and shook her head. "No… I'm afraid it won't."

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She stared at the keys blankly. Without the warm body at her back, it was as if she forgot everything she'd learned. She played the first few chords again, trying to bring up the memory. Why couldn't this be a song that wasn't of the brunette's own invention; she'd never wished for sheet music or that she'd stayed with piano lessons as a kid so badly in her entire life. She hummed the part she'd just played but her mind drew a blank at the same spot. Why did she always forget that line?

And all of a sudden a voice was humming it to her. She grinned triumphantly. "That's it!" Then it occurred to her that the voice hadn't been in her head. She whipped around to find her son standing in the doorway, still in his pyjamas, his arm in its cast. "Kid? What are you doing out of bed?"

He shrugged and came fully into the room. "I heard you playing my lullaby."

"Your what?"

"When I was younger, on nights I couldn't sleep, my mom would come in and hum that to me. It always helped me get to sleep." He sat down with a thunk on the piano bench beside her. "Why are you playing my lullaby?"

Emma looked down into his curious expression and then turned back to the keys. "It's a present for your mom. She used to play the piano and I noticed she doesn't anymore. I'm hoping this will help her remember why she loved it."

"You love her don't you?"

Emma froze, her fingers landing on the keys with an ungraceful chorus of notes. "Yes, I do. It's hard to explain Henry, but I knew her, apart from the curse."

"But you were a baby."

"Not exactly." She bit her lip before proceeding to tell her son the truth about the curse, and both worlds. He took it better than she could have hoped. She left out some small details, such as the fact that they had a daughter in the other world. The last thing she needed was Henry feeling like he had competition of some sort. But he was excited, and just like that, Operation Cobra's main objective became getting the Evil Queen to fall in love with the White Knight.

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"Hey, you're home." Emma came through the dining room and into the foyer. "How was work?" She helped Regina slip out of her coat and got the faintest whiff of cologne. It was a scent she recognised easily enough. She worked with it everyday.

Regina began to rattle off the finer points of her first day back since she'd been out for the past couple days for Henry's accident. Emma listened half heartedly, her brain trying to figure out why Regina smelled like Graham. She knew what the easy explanation was, the mayor had dealings with the sheriff's department all the time. It wasn't wholly unusual. But it was unusual that enough physical contact happened that his cologne transferred onto her clothes. No, she shouldn't let her mind go there.

"Did you see Graham today?"

The tension that knotted through Regina's shoulders as she froze gave Emma the answer she'd been dreading. Regina turned with a raised eyebrow. "Why would you ask me that?"

Emma tried to play it off, shrugging nonchalantly though she could already feel the painful cracking of her heart. "I was just wondering how he's doing? I've been gone for a few days. We're not generally that busy at the station, but you never know."

Regina relaxed, obviously feeling more confident that she hadn't been caught. "Oh, yes well, I didn't hear anything distressing."

Emma shrugged. "I'm going to go see how he's doing then."

"But... what about dinner? And Henry?"

"Dinner's in the oven as per the instructions you left me. I should be back, but if not, it needs to come out at six thirty. Henry's upstairs reading and you're here now. I shouldn't be long, just wanna check in, make sure everything's running smoothly." She turned for the door.

In a last ditch effort to stop her, Regina reached out and grabbed her arm. "And what if I want you to stay and… keep me company?" She raised an eyebrow seductively.

Emma smirked, leaning in and kissing the brunette's cheek. "Good things come to those who wait." She pulled her arm away and was out the door before Regina could protest.

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She strode into the station, already knowing it was true. Anything that happened from now on was just confirmation.

"Hey, look who's here." Graham got up and came around his desk and out into the main room to greet her. "How's babysitting duty going?"

"Good. It's nice to spend time with Henry, even under these circumstances." She decided to come out and get right down to it. "So, Regina was by earlier?" She already saw her proof, quite literally, on his face.

Graham, like Regina, tensed. His voice went up a couple octaves. "What? No, I haven't seen the mayor since yesterday."

"So Regina wasn't here earlier?" Emma eyed him suspiciously.

He shook his head, remembering his promise to Regina that the events of this afternoon had never transpired. "Nope. Just been here by myself all day."

Emma took a step closer. Slowly she reached out and brushed a finger firmly across the space between his chin and his bottom lip. She looked at the offending digit before holding it up for his inspection. The glaring evidence, accusingly bright red against the creamy tone of her skin, stared back at him, proclaiming him guilty of not only what he'd done but of denying it as well. Once she saw the flashes of recognition, fear, and shame in his eyes, she wiped the lipstick off her finger and across the front of his shirt, the red staining into the fabric, his own scarlet A for the world to better know him for what he was.

"Emma…"

"Don't!" Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Don't you dare try to explain yourself to me. You haven't earned that. I love her Graham. I love her so much it hurts. My heart breaks every time I say it because I know she'd love me too, if she only let herself feel. This…" She pointed angrily at the red streak on his shirt. "This is her fear. She sought out something familiar because she's scared. I can forgive her that. But you…you just let it happen! You're my friend! You despise her most days. How could you do that to me?" The wounded look that graced her features made Graham's heart wrench violently in the cavity of his chest. Betrayal seemed to be something he was good at. First he'd betrayed Regina by letting Snow White go and now he'd betrayed Emma by letting Regina run from her fears instead of face them.

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Emma was surprised but thankful to find the front door still unlocked. She didn't know where the spare key was or if there even was a spare key; Regina had never seen fit to tell her. She closed the door quietly, not wanting to wake Henry and flipped the deadbolt. She turned and nearly screamed but was lucky enough that her quick reflexes got her hand over her mouth in time to muffle the shrill cry emitted from her throat.

Regina stood before her on the raised level of the foyer, blankly regarding her. "Where have you been?"

Emma's surprise at finding the woman blocking her path quickly melted to make way for the anger she felt. She rolled her eyes. "You're not my mother Regina. I don't have to answer to you and I'm certainly old enough to not have a curfew." She watched with delight as Regina visibly bristled.

"It is common courtesy for one to call when one is going to be out late. It prevents unnecessary worry."

Regina had been worried about her? She quickly pushed the warmth that thought brought back down and away where it belonged. She wasn't going to let words talk her out of how betrayed she felt. "Well it's also common courtesy that when one has a girlfriend waiting at home, taking care of their child, one doesn't seek out one's ex-lover and kiss him."

And just like that, the wind left Regina's sails. She didn't try to suppress the look of pure shame, tinged with a small bit of self-loathing, that crossed her face. "Graham told you."

"He didn't have to tell me." She stepped up the two steps to the raised half of the foyer and grasped her chin, running her thumb along Regina's bottom lip. "You left evidence." She released her, pushing her chin away, hating that she still wanted to kiss her right now despite everything.

"Emma." Regina looked almost as if Emma had just slapped her.

Emma shook her head and held up a hand to stop whatever she had been about to say. "Just tell me why Regina. Why can you kiss him? Why is he allowed to touch you?" She shook her head again as if that would dispel the pain. "That's always the way these things go, isn't it? A girl goes and gives her heart to yet another person who doesn't want it. I was so stupid to think I could change anything."

"No." Regina slid into her personal space expertly, as if she belonged right there, in that space where they weren't quite touching but were close enough to feel each other breathe. "You are not stupid." She reached down and grabbed Emma's hand. She stared down at it as she held it in hers. "You scare me, Miss Swan; you have from the moment you came up that front walk a month ago."

Emma watched in fascination as Regina seemed to decide something, a look of determination crossing her face. She looked up at Emma shyly, through her lashes. "Take me to bed. I'll let you have me tonight."

"No." The word, when she uttered it, was so soft that even she barely heard it.

Regina looked up in shock.

Emma leaned in, kissing her forehead to reassure her. "Not because I don't want to. I do want to, badly. But I don't want this to be something you give me because you think it's what I want or that it will appease me. Love doesn't work that way, at least it shouldn't. I love you Regina Mills, all of you. When you're ready, and not a day before." She entwined her fingers with the hand still holding hers. "Now, come. I'm tired and I'd like to curl up in bed with my girlfriend and forget this world for a spell."