"Hey! Kisame!" Naruto called over to the shark. Naruto had spent the night in Seme Estate (Sasuke's wishes) and he had decided to indulge in one of his favorite hobbies as the Hokage: Trying to piss off the Mizukage. "So, I heard that you had a meeting about the price of water in the land of water? How did that go out- Oh God, why are the people in the Mizu Union so dumb?" The blonde burst out laughing. All the semes watched as Kisame kept pretty calm. Then,

"Oh Naruto..." Kisame smirked, "You're right. In fact, I'm afraid that I don't understand your statement. Could you translate it into Ancient Konohagakuran for me?" Naruto flinched, why had he decided to sleep during those classes? "'Come on, Hokage... I don't have all day. And this is quite the day, we shouldn't waste it.'" Kisame chimed in perfect Ancient Konohagakuran.

"How-?" Naruto gasped, to which Kisame replied,

"What? Are you surprised that I can speak that, Ancient Kirigakuran, regular Japanese, and Ivan is teaching me bits and pieces of Russian?" The blonde whined, pouting a bit. He gulped before stuttering out,

"'Y-you... are...'" Kisame leaned in,

"Yes?" The Hokage growled out,

"'YOU ARE A FOOL!'" Kisame flinched,

"Look at the frog calling the fish wet!"


"I have had it!" Itachi yelled at the event coordinators, slamming a fist onto their desk. "We are not participating in another game unless you do something," He gestured to himself, "About these damn uniforms!" Dawn looked at the pink fabric before she asked,

"What's wrong with it?"

"What- What's wrong with it? Oh, I don't know maybe... THE FACT THAT TEAM UKE'S BECOME A LAUGHING-STOCK!"

"Come on, Itachi," Zoey sighed, "It's not that bad." The weasel dead-panned,

"Remember the end of the dodge ball challenge?"

"Even though they didn't win," The commentator began, "Let's hear it for the semes!" The audience cheered whereas most of the semes were still being treated for their injuries. "And let's get another cheer for our victors..."

"Everybody get your victory faces on..." Itachi whispered. Then the commentator spoke,

"Team Fuzzy Pink Panda!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?" All of the ukes shouted as they fell victim to an epic anime-fall. Even Sasha, Team Uke's mascot, joined them on the screen. Then, because we love to add insult to injury, everyone began laughing.

"And as we can see from that conveniently placed flashback footage, you guys need to do something!" The two coordinators sighed before Zoey looked through a booklet on the table.

"The only thing we could do is give the members of Team Uke some money to go shopping and-"

"NOOO!" Kisame, Kakuzu, Sasuke, and Russia rushed into the room. Kakuzu growled,

"You must not speak the forbidden word!" Dawn frowned,

"What, you mean 'shopping'?" The force of that one little word seemed to echo through the whole area that the Seme-Uke Games was taking place in: from Seme Estate to Uke Manor, even to the Crown Stadium. And, of course, the ukes were reacting.

"Did..." America began just as he was about to order some food at a nearby McDonald's.

"Someone..." Kyle was trying to brush the infamous mass of orange that was his hair when he thought he heard something.

"Say..." Both Tracy and Kabuto were looking through a baby clothing-catalog when they heard it. Then, in his room, frantically going through his suitcases and closet for something good to where, Poland suddenly stopped. A smile grew on his face before he said,

"Shopping?"

Like bees to blooming flowers, the ukes swarmed to the coordinator desk and began pestering them for info. After thirty minutes of chatter...

"Alright!" Zoey yelled. "Yes, the ukes are going to be given some money to go shopping!" When the ukes squealed again, Zoey covered her ears in pain before she yelled, "Shut up! Anyway, we'll give the money to Itachi and he'll be in charge of dividing it up amongst all of you."

But, by then, everyone was already talking about what they wanted to and buy when they got to the mall. The semes...

Shadow was discretely moving a gun to the side of his head and almost pulled the trigger when Sasuke pulled the weapon away. "Why~?" Shadow sobbed silently.

"Because," Sasuke began, "If you shot yourself, who would shoot me?"


So, here they were: the ukes in the Uke bus on their way to the Magician's Hall Mall, the semes in the Seme bus, as solemn as prisoners going to the cutting block.

Itachi had just finished going through the money and spoke, "Alright, so the money that the coordinators were able to give us equates to $1,000 for each of us and-" Immediately, whines and groans were heard from the ukes.

"Ve..? But I spend more than that on pasta every three days!" N. Italy whined. As the ukes continued whining, Poland walked up next to Itachi and called out,

"Um, guys, I think you're forgetting something." The area was quiet, "This is the exact reason that we have semes! When our money runs out, we'll just take some from them!"

"Wait just a damn minute!" Kakuzu yelled, clutching for dear life on the Uke bus's hood.

"How in Jashin's name did you get out there?" Hidan yelled. The bus was stopped and Kakuzu barged in, yelling, "This is absolutely ridiculous. I may not be allowed to do anything to the money that you've already gotten but you aren't getting a dime more from us," He opened a window and called to the Seme bus, "Right guys?" The other semes merely mumbled their responses, knowing that this was a losing war. "Guys, why aren't you answering me..?" The brunette called over. Then he turned and saw why no one was speaking.

All of the ukes were looking at him with wide puppy-dog eyes. "No... Wait a minute." Kakuzu stepped back, "You all can't be doing this to me... I won't have it!"


"So, like I was saying..." Poland continued, now sans interruptions. Kisame and Russia walked over to Kakuzu who was twitching and groaning on the ground.

"A full-on uke-stare..." Kisame whistled.

"At 31-fold, no less..." Russia added.

Back to the drive, the ukes were still talking up a storm, when Feliks announced, "I think we're forgetting the most important thing that we need to buy today." The area was silent before the blonde smiled, "Shoes."

"Shoes." The Italy brothers added.

"Shoes." Sonic nodded. After that, the bus stopped in front of the mall and the ukes marched into the mall. It was huge, by the way, with posters and statues of the two Dark Magicians and the Dark Magician Girl.

" Wow... This place is huge!" Canada said what most of the other ukes were thinking. But Poland was looking around, like a wildcat on the hunt, until his green eyes saw what he was looking for. "Like, Oh my God!" He ran over to a store window that was filled with designer shoes. "Shoes."He called out. Then he began, "Let's get some shoes."

" Let's get some shoes!" Deidara cheered.

"Let's get some shoes." Itachi shrugged his shoulders before Naruto added,

" Let's get some shoes!" Then the hunt— err- the shopping trip began. The semes all sighed.

"So it begins..." Damien groaned.

"With shoes of all things..." Germany sighed.


You know what the problem with large shopping malls is? The fact that they won't just have one or two stores for certain things. They will have like ten stores for candy, fifteen just for shirts, and 24 just for...

"Shoes." France sighed as he gazed over a rack of the newest shoes.

"Shoes." Itachi gazed at a pair of heels that had caught his attention.

" Shoes." Kabuto and Tracy cheered as they saw a bunch of baby shoes.

"Like, Oh my God, shoes." Poland called out as he saw another store. But what really caught his eye was the 50% off sign in front.

In the stores, the infamous task of trying on the shoes was underway. Some people were actually taking the time to look at and try on shoes. For people who had short attentions spans (ex: America, Naruto, Tobi, Jaden), the process went more like this:

"These shoes rule!" Sonic cheered as he found a pair of blue and red sneakers.

"These shoes suck." Jaden pouted, kicking another pair of shoes into the massive pile he had created.

"These shoes rule!" Tobi and Naruto cheered, picking up pairs of orange-dress shoes.

"These shoes suck!" America yelled, tossing a pair of shoes back into the air. Unfortunately, Russia was sitting near him so the shoes...

"Ah! My nose!"


In another store, Lovino was trying to find a decent pair of dress shoes but was getting more and more frustrated. "These shoes suck." He threw another pair of shoes behind him, not even caring when they hit Feliciano in the head. S. Italy picked up a new pair before frowning, "These shoes suck.", and throwing those back, hitting France. Finally, it seemed as if Lovino found a decent pair. Yet, when he looked at the sizes available... "Chigii! These shoes suck!"


After only an hour, the semes were feeling the fatigue of being dragged to go shopping with their ukes. Mostly because they were in charge of carrying the purchases of the day. As Ben was looking at another rack of shoes in another store, Kevin (already carrying a wardrobe of clothing and shoes) said,

"I think you have too many shoes." Ben smiled back,

"Shut up."

At another store, Kakashi sighed, readjusting the bags in his arms, "I think you have too many shoes." To which Iruka waved a hand back,

"Shut up."

"I think you have too many shoes." Shadow and Sasuke groaned as they carried Sonic and Naruto's bags.

"Shut up." Both the blunette and the blonde replied at the same time.

In the mall's Hot Topic, Hidan was looking over footwear when Kakuzu groaned,"I think you have too many shoes." Which earned him a boot to the head.

"Shut up!"


It was proving to be a good shopping day for everyone. Even former enemies got together to do some shopping. Well, rather when China was looking around, Korea following him while dragging his bags. His eyes widened when he saw a beautiful midnight-blue cheongsam. "It's beautiful, aru!"

Just as he reached for it, however, a hand decorated with long painted nails grabbed for it as well. Slowly (regrettably) Yao looked over and saw his frenemy, Count D. The Count simply frowned a bit before he pulled the outfit closer to himself.

Yao retorted by pulling the fabric to himself.

Count D gave a pull.

Yao pulled back.

This went on until, with a yell of, "Let go, damn it!" China tackled Count D to the ground for another bout of hair-pulling and Chinese curses. Meanwhile, Leon and Korea were silently recording the scene on their phones.


"Come on..." Spain groaned as he dragged the bags that S. Italy had left with him. The romantic nation was looking around for something in particular. "These malls always have at least one 'boyfriend' chair in every store- Ah!" Spain's emerald eyes widened as he saw the fabled seat.

He quickly dragged the bags towards the seat but his heart instantly sank when Shadow rushed over and sat right on down. "Oh, come on!" Antonio cried, "Por favor (Please)!" The black and red-haired male pulled out a gun and said,

"Unless you're bringing me a beer, you'd better get to stepping."


Hidan had dragged Kakuzu to another store, trying to find that certain pair of shoes. And, rushing into the store, he thought he found them. In his favorite color, scarlet, no less. "Hey! Shoe lady!" He yelled out.

"Yes?" The sales associate replied when she walked over. Hidan smiled,

" I want to try these on. These, right here!" The girl picked up the shoe and looked at the size inside. Then she looked at Hidan's feet before she smirked,

"Um...this style runs small. I don't think you're gonna fit. I mean, your feet are kinda big." Hidan's eyebrow twitched, while Kakuzu simply shook his head.

" Oh." The albino blinked. "Oh." He looked at the shoes, thinking to himself. But when he looked at the girl holding the shoes, he snapped, "Oh, by the way bitch, Fuck you!"

"Excuse me?" The the girl gasped. But it was short lived when Hidan tackled the girl to the floor and started beating her with the same pair of shoes he wanted to buy. Kakuzu merely sat down and sighed,

" It happens in every store that we go to..."


In a hair supply store, we could find Kyle Brofloski dropping box after box of perm into a shopping-basket. At the sight of all the hair product, Stan sighed, "Dude, what are you doing?"

"I am sick of seeing carrot-top in the mirror every-time I take off my hat!" The red-head explained, "I have to do something about it!"

"But I like your poofy hair..." Stan murmured but opting to simply watch on as his boyfriend differentiated one perm from another.

"Well I don't, dude! So help me pick out the strongest perms here!"


"Come on, mon amour~!" France was valiantly trying to get England into a store that he had just found which specialized in the sensuality of the bedroom sort ( * coughs * Sex store * coughs *).

"You have to be insane if you think I'm going in there, Francis!" Arthur replied, firmly planting his feet into the ground. Unfortunately, the grip of his shoes wasn't that great and eventually France got him in anyway.


"Good kitten... Sweet kitten... Understanding kitten..." Greece was so happy when he was able to sit down with all of the kittens of one of the mall's pet-stores. The balls of fluff were contentedly crawling and mewling around the brunette nation.

"I hope ya aren't considering buying any of these little rodents!" Turkey yelled out, "We already have that swarm of yours to deal with!" Heracles simply frowned before whispering something in Greek to the kittens. The kittens nodded before they all yowled and swarmed Sadiq, hissing and scratching.


"Ike, what do you think of this one?" Pit called over with a smile on his face while he tried on an adorable nightie. It barely got to his waist and it was a baby blue. Ike blushed,

"It looks great."

"Yay!" Pit cheered as he went into the changing-stall. Then he came back out in a a bunny-outfit. "And what about this one?"

"Great again." Pit giggled and went in before he came out in a school-girl outfit.

"How about this?"

"Wonderful." Ike nearly choked on the oncoming nosebleed.

"Who's doing the shopping here," Marth sweat-dropped, "Ike or Pit?"


"What wood is this one made of?" Canada asked the sales rep as he was looking at different types of hockey-sticks.

"That one is a pure Canadian Maple, sir." At that, Matthew raised an eyebrow before bringing his own hockey-stick out. Amethyst eyes narrowed as they analyzed both pieces of equipment before he spoke,

"Either you're trying to bull-shit me or one of your employees messed up because your stick isn't anything close to Maple." The sales rep looked at it and chuckled nervously,

"I'm terribly sorry, sir. I'll go get the real Maple one right away."

"Take your time..." Canada sighed. He decided to look around but was disturbed by a loud snoring. "What in..?" He looked at the chair by the window and saw that Prussia had fallen asleep. Matthew groaned before he took the store's hockey-stick and a puck. He aimed carefully before swinging the stick and smacking the puck right into...

"Ack!" Gilbert yelped, clutching his face in pain, "What in the name of Old Fritz?"


"Do you think Saya will like this?" Gaara asked, holding up a stuffed raccoon dressed in a kimono. Neji and Gaara had been drawn in by a special deal at Build-A-Bear and Gaara had just finished his creation.

"Aw..." Neji cooed, "It's so cute!" The smallest hint of a smile grew on the small red-head's face but it vanished when Neji added, "But not as cute as you are, my little Tanuki-chan- Mrph?" Gaara had taken the liberty of shoving a bunch of stuffing into the Hyuuga's mouth.


"Like, Oh my God! Link, you, like, totally need a makeover!" Link gulped but when he saw that he was surrounded by the sales-girls from a nearby store, he gulped and screamed,

"Oh goddesses, no! Get away from me!"

One hour later...

Link slowly opened his eyes from fainting. "My head..." But when he looked around, he gasped, "Oh my goddesses!" He was now dressed in an all-leather biker's outfit with rhinestone boots. "You made me look gay..." Then, after a moment, he added, "-Er than I already did!" The girls giggled as they walked to ambush their next victim— err- customer. Link was just inwardly venting, hoping that no one saw him like this. But Sheik was quietly laughing at his misery. Link, however, wasn't pleased, "Sheik, how come nothing bad ever happens to you?"

"I don't know..." Sheik hummed, "Maybe you did something to anger the goddesses or something?" Link merely growled back,

"Oh, be quiet, you look like Princess Zelda anyhow."

"Damn it!" Sheik fumed, taking out a blade, "I am so sick of hearing that!" The Sheikaiah was about to start cutting the braid behind him.

"No, wait! I didn't mean it! Don't cut your hair, please!" Link cried out, struggling to get the blade out of his lover's hands.


"Sasuke..." Naruto called over as he walked out of a dressing-room.

"No, no... Please, for the love of God..." Sasuke whispered before he replied, "Yes?" Naruto had tried on a pair of low-rider jeans but he was still a bit unsure. So, he had to ask,

"Do these pants make me look fat?"

"Agh!" Sasuke growled out before he began to succinctly bang his head into the wall, "Why-" Bam! "Do-" Bam! "They-" Bam! "Ask-" Bam! "That-" Bam! "Question?"


"Yes, so I will need thirty-one of these outfits..." Despite his shopping-spree earlier, Itachi was responsible enough to buy the new team uniforms.

"Yes sir and would you like the accessories to go along with those?"

"Hm..." Itachi thought for a moment before he turned and asked, "Kisame what do you thi- Would you get out of that candy store already?"

"Aw..." Kisame groaned but walked out, now carrying a large bag of candy. "I was just getting to the good stuff to. Hey, are those the new uniforms?" Itachi nodded,

"Yeah, and I think they actually look better than the original ones."

"So, now that that's out of the way..." Kisame began, "How about we go for a nice lunch somewhere? I hear that The Cheesecake Factory's a good bet." Itachi raised an eyebrow before he nodded.


Russia was getting real sick of walking around like this. "Where is my Comrade Kisame?" He looked around for a moment, dropping America's bags. Then he saw the shark and the weasel about to head into a restaurant.

"Ah, Lithuania, perfect timing." Russia smiled as the brunette nation struggled over with Poland's purchases. "Hold these." Ivan chimed as he dropped all of America's purchases onto Toris.

"Wait a minute- AH!" Lithuania yelled but was smothered by bags and shiny packaging anyway.

"Come along, dorogoy." Ivan chimed as he grabbed America's arm.

"Wait a minute, I wasn't done at this store yet!" Russia ignored the blonde, dragging him along until they got to the restaurant.

"Comrade!" Ivan called out. Kisame smiled and replied,

"Ivan! Are you guys here for lunch too?"

"Da!"

"Awesome! We can do a double-date thing!"

"Da!" As the two semes were talking and laughing,

"So much for a private lunch date..." Itachi murmured. Alfred had stopped whining and was cheering about where they had ended up,

"Dudes, The Cheesecake Factory? This place is all kinds of awesome!"


After a great meal (A/N: I've never been to The Cheesecake Factory, so I don't know what they serve. I know that it's more like a steakhouse and they don't only serve cheesecake, but still.) Itachi decided that it was time for everyone to head home.

"That was some good cheesecake." Kisame stated as they began to round everyone up.

"I know, right? And you," America gave Kisame a pat on the shoulder, "Are one of the best dinner guests it has ever been my pleasure to meet!"

"Why, thank you!"

"Everyone get back to the buses this moment!" Itachi called out to everyone via complementary megaphone ('Never leave home without a Attention-Grabber brand megaphone), "I want to get home so we can try on these uniforms and I can go to sleep!" When he was done, Itachi muttered, "At least this is one thing that I can thank the sponsors for."


A/N: Crap, the chapter was crap, I know. I was just getting sick and tired of Team Uke in pink (Sorry Poland). Also, this is going to be my only update this week seeing as how my switch from WordPad to Open Office has left me trying to find and retype files.

...And people wonder why I switched my major from computer science to English, computers can be so frustrating!

Please review, I am looking for suggestions again!

-Tyranno's girl.