Dear Professor Snape

I think I am in Love!

The new Professor, Dolores Umbridge, is a beautiful person inside and out. She loves kittens and inspecting and writing and order and cleanliness and she is such an ambitious person! She is my dream come true, I thought I was doomed to live a loveless existence, without the company of my other half, but now I have found her.

Which is why I need your help, Severus. She has, as I am sure you have heard, named herself High Inquisitor. She spoke with me about it before she made the news public and I was so smitten that I was unable to let her know what a poor choice it was. And now I fear for her greatly, not only does it put her in a position where she can become drunk with the power it provides, but it also treads on the Department For Permits And Filing's feet, and I will have to send a report telling the Department of this.

And should I even try to have a relationship with a colleague? Can it be done?

You may have guessed that I did not send this letter to Professor Snape my colleague, but to Severus my friend. I need help, as I am not well versed in the 'dating scene' and would much appreciate any advice you have to offer.

Cygnus Stixrood, Chief Centennial Inspector, Department For Permits And Filing