Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.
The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood,
must turn back from the plane of his experience
take with him the fruits of his journey
and begin again beside his child
marching step by step over the same old road.
Angelo Patri
"Daddy, why does mama make it so hard to buy for her for special occasions," Nessie grumbled beside me as we slowly walked through the levels of Pacific Place.
"I think it's just a part of being a mom…making life difficult," Henry answered from behind me, eliciting restrained laughter from Emmett.
Even though it was still over a month away, the four of us had come to the mall to shop for Mother's Day. Afterwards, Nessie and I were going on a father/daughter date, while Henry and Emmett did the "male bonding thing". I didn't ask where they were going, and I still wasn't sure what Nessie had planned for me. For now, I was just enjoying the stroll through the mall holding my daughter's hand.
Henry was walking beside Emmett, attempting to behave. Our looks attracted enough attention, and his naturally outgoing personality only added to the spectacle. The general consensus in the thoughts of our spectators was that Nessie and I were brother and sister, and that Emmett and Henry were brothers. The boys were attempting to determine if Nessie was dating either Emmett or Henry, in the hopes of approaching her if they determined she wasn't.
"It would be so much easier to just buy her clothes, but that wouldn't go over well," she stuck her tongue out, imagining Bella's reaction.
I smirked, pulling her into me to hug her gently.
What a nice young man. He seems to take great responsibility for his sister. Would love to see what their parents look like, they both are stunning. The thought filtered out from one shop. It was then followed quickly followed by: What have they been feeding the other two? They are quite handsome as well.
"I'm thinking we just need to buy mom a new car," Henry said. "That would be the easiest thing to do, and she needs one anyway. I bet I can guess exactly what she would like, and then she can fuss at us about how it doesn't have enough horsepower and start tearing it apart. She needs a new project anyway, since we're almost through with my car. Speaking of, when do I get to get my license, dad?" he grinned endearingly over at Emmett.
"Henry, you just turned four," Emmett whispered and then rolled his eyes at his son as if that was enough explanation.
Henry held his hand out before his six-foot-one frame and asked, "Do I look four? Please tell me I don't have to wait twelve more years. I'll run away from home out of sheer boredom before that."
Emmett laughed. "Promises, promises. I can see it now. Peace and Quiet. No more explosions and chaos. Peace and Quiet. No more calls from the Quileutes complaining about some prank you and Nessie pulled. Peace and Quiet. No more calls from Charlie wondering if you're the culprit. Did I mention Peace and Quiet?"
"Blah, blah, blah," Henry teased, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. His lack of concern was apparent to everyone.
Emmett grabbed him in a headlock, bringing his head down so that he could thump him.
"Henry," Nessie broke in. "I heard Uncle Jasper on the phone the other day arranging our birth certificates with Jenks. Don't let your dad pull your leg too much. He said something about he didn't want to have to drive you and Anna on your first date."
Emmett scowled at Nessie while Henry beamed in joy.
My mind had stuck on the words "first date." Henry couldn't possibly be thinking about the first date yet; he was younger than Nessie. I knew she looked almost fully mature, but I'd been blessed so far in that Jacob still treated her like a china doll. I'd never caught any thought even remotely sexual in nature, but it was only a matter of time. I was going to be a raving lunatic when that happened.
It was bad enough that I had to put up with the humans. I knew why they looked at her. Even dressed in a simple long sleeve top, jeans, and multicolor tennis shoes, she was stunning. I glanced over to Nessie and instinctively growled. She rolled her eyes at my reaction.
"You know, Henry. Your idea might not be a bad one. She's been eyeing an M6 Convertible, and the BMW dealership is just around the corner."
"500hp V-10, red, and fully loaded, of course," Henry added as his excitement peaked.
Emmett nodded his head in agreement, and I could tell they were in their own little world, two peas in a pod. Nessie and I waved goodbye as they turned to go back to Emmett's jeep. Emmett threw his arm around Henry's shoulders and the two walked off scheming.
"Have fun …" Nessie's tinkling laughter burst out, seeing the look of anticipation on their faces. "You know they'll spend the rest of the day harassing some poor salesperson now."
"Yes, but whoever they are, the commission for the car will be worth it."
We stepped to the farthest side of the walk to avoid the sunlight coming through the skylights and continued slowly traversing the shops.
"There's just nothing here that would interest mama," she finally said an hour later.
I looked down at my watch and grinned. "Good thing I made that appointment with your mother's other Edward when he called to say he might have something of interest."
Nessie squealed in delight. "Are your serious, dad? Why have you made me wear myself out looking here if you received a call from Mr. Nudelman?"
My laughter fueled hers. "Because I knew you'd need something to complain about."
Stepping into Nudelman Rare Books was always a treat. Our hyperaware senses added a layer of pleasurable nuance not detectable by humans. The smell of the antique tomes promised hours of enjoyment. I could even smell hints of previous owners mixed in with the flavor of the remarkable collection.
An accomplished author and research scientist himself, Ed's love of all fine literary art was apparent in the care he took with everything. This was just one of the stores he owned, but Seattle was his home and we were lucky enough to get calls whenever he found a particularly rare piece.
Mr. Nudelman met us at the door. Nessie hadn't accompanied us the other times, but now that her growth was slowing, the subtle changes were explainable by 'growth spurts'. He was pleased to finally get to meet my sister, the infamous Renesmee, having been instrumental in helping Carlisle find the copy of Little Red Riding Hood that he'd given her years ago. After the appropriate pleasantries, he looked at me with a pleased expression.
"Edward, I've been offered the ability to represent a private owner in the sale of a copy of The First Folio. I, of course, thought of Bella first."
The possibility was beyond exciting. To actually have the opportunity to possess a copy of the first collection of Shakespeare's plays was unimaginable. Only a few were still in existence, and most were in museums.
Bella and Edward had spoken on the phone regularly after she'd located him through the internet. She'd become one of his favored customers, and it was no wonder he'd thought of her. She, in turn was so impressed with his love and knowledge of literature that she'd once joked that she'd marry him if anything happened to me. I had just rolled my eyes at her wit; he couldn't handle her, but back to the subject at hand…
"Its condition?" I asked, attempting to appear calm, but he sensed my excitement.
"Excellent. This is the copy that sold at Sotheby's from Dr. Williams's Library back in 2006. It is one of the forty known complete copies."
I knew he had complete integrity in his work. If he said it, it was true, but I had the benefit of seeing it through his eyes. It was immaculate. Nessie beamed beside me, feeling the waves of satisfaction rolling off me. We'd just found Bella's gift. I knew what it had sold for at Sotheby's, and I also knew what the few other copies that had come up for sale over the years went for. I'd pay it, and Bella's other Edward knew it.
"Can you arrange delivery in the next two weeks?"
"You don't want to inspect it?" he asked, but wasn't too surprised.
Carlisle and I had both bought from him before. Bella had all but become his best friend, while Alice had grumpily wondered why she couldn't show the same enthusiasm when shopping for clothes. We trusted him, and he knew that we were as honorable.
I smiled slightly. "As always, your word is enough."
Nessie strolled through the room, looking at the other volumes as we worked out the details for the money transfer and arrangements to have the book brought to Seattle. He planned to personally courier the package. As we were beginning to finish off the last of the negotiations, Nessie walked up with several books in her hands, including a first edition copy of Jack London's Call of the Wild. She grinned handing them off to me.
I read Mr. Nudelman's thoughts. He, as others, thought I was a doting big brother. Little did he know I was taking the rare opportunity to spoil my girls rotten. Bella had said she would stop fussing over gifts. We'd see what she said about this one. Nessie, however, had no problem with asking. She was far from truly spoiled, but anything to do with books or music was an automatic 'yes' in our house and she knew it. I grinned like a fool when we got in the Range Rover.
"I think you're more excited than mama is going to be. How much ammunition do I have over you with the knowledge of how expensive that little gift was?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I bluffed.
"Mmmhmm" she mumbled.
"So where are you taking me this evening?" I asked, hoping to distract her.
"Good try, daddy. I heard those negotiations. Mama is going to stroke if she finds out, but don't worry; I'll keep that little card for later."
She pulled an envelope from her backpack purse and handed it to me. I opened it and pulled out tickets to the Ballard Jazz Festival, more importantly she'd purchased ones for Boardwalk .
"Originally I thought of just going to The Comet Tavern. Jasper told me that several really good bands are playing tonight, but Aunt Alice said it was going to be overcast and I thought you might enjoy walking along Ballard Avenue, and I can actually get in lots of the shows without being too dishonest."
Her anticipation rivaled mine as I leaned over to the passenger seat and grabbed her into a hug, all but pulled her into my lap. I imagined the evening walking to and from the various venues. I couldn't wait.
In the end, I acted more like a teenager than she, did dragging her place to place and dancing like a fool with her. It was well into the early morning before I realized she was just about to fall asleep as she walked. I picked her up, cradling her into my arms.
"Ness, I've enjoyed my evening with you," I whispered into her hairline as I began walking to the SUV.
"Me too, daddy…promise me…it'll always be this way between us."
"I promise."
"And daddy…?"
"Yes Ness?"
"Even if my babies are wolves, I want you to take them on dates like this."
I attempted to stifle the mixture of my growling and laughter as she rubbed her face into my chest sleepily. She smiled contentedly just before succumbing. I couldn't keep my eyes from wandering over to her sleeping form as I drove back through the city. Times like these made my respect for my parents grow. The love Carlisle and Esme had for my wife and siblings was no different from the overwhelming feelings I had for the copper haired beauty strapped into the seat beside me.
Just how many times had we broken their hearts, pursuing our own paths of self discoveries? How it must have hurt them to see each one of us struggle at some moment or the other. Rose, Emmett, Bella and I had been lucky so far. Other than the natural exuberance and experimental curiosity, they'd been model children. I wasn't fooled, I knew somewhere between here and forever, they were going to make mistakes. I just hoped I had the patience and wisdom that my own parents had shown when my time of reckoning came.
Bella and Jacob were waiting for us on the couch. He was sound asleep, his head leaning against the back of the couch, while she was tucked under his arm, leaning into him and watching television. I took Nessie to her room and settled her in before returning. I shook my head when I saw she was watching a TV sitcom about a teenager that killed vampires.
She grinned before saying, "The station is running a marathon, and Jake thought it was a hoot. Ever seen this before?"
I grimaced. "Alice was addicted at one point. She thought the male vampire was really 'hot'."
"How many of the other creatures that she fights in the episodes are actually real?"
I thought through the episodes that Alice had tortured me with. "A few," I admitted.
She nodded her head slightly over to Jacob, "Wolfie boy thought so. I didn't know."
"Do I get my wife back?" I asked grinning at Jacob's arms locked around her.
I watched her carefully extricate herself from him and then slowly lower his body to the couch as I threw her a pillow. Within a second, Jacob settled in and began snoring.
"Great!" I mumbled.
She began laughing and walked up to kiss me. Unfortunately, she carried the smell of Jacob with her. I grabbed her arms stopping her short.
"Um, Love, you stink." I said, attempting to be nice, but knowing it came out strong anyway.
She giggled, "Picky, picky. Okay, I'll get a shower. We have to go to La Push in the morning anyway. Emily went into labor and delivered not long after you left on your date with Renesmee. A strong healthy little girl. Seth and Leah went on to their house after Leah came home from classes last night, and I told him we'd all come in the morning after Nessie and Henry wake up."
Time alone with Bella in the shower was always time well spent. I began following her, unbuttoning my shirt as we went, but then I heard a noise out near the pool and trained my hearing in that direction.
"Bella, go on and I'll be back in a little. I want to check on something."
She looked at me concerned.
"No, it's fine."
Bella tantalized me by quickly stripping off her top and jeans. She was wearing a matching underwear set that could've only come from my glorious little sister's devious mind. I started forward unconsciously before she waved her finger at me. "Go be the protector …"
Just before I walked back through the bedroom door, the g-string panties landed over the top of my head, a subtle reminder of what I was leaving behind, and to hurry. I growled back at her and was rewarded by her giggling. After bypassing the snoring wolf, I stepped through the door of the cottage and saw Emmett lying back in a chair by the pool, gazing up at the clear sky above us.
"Emmett?" I softly questioned.
He turned around and grinned slightly. He waved me over while inviting me with his thoughts and at the same time apologizing for disturbing me.
I sank into the chair beside him. His mind went in a thousand different directions, and I waited for him to settle on what he wanted to say. It reminded me of the time he'd thought Anna was 'making moves' on him, and I couldn't entirely stifle my humor.
He glanced over at me and I admitted, "I was just remembering the conversation about Anna in 'Ms. Rosalie.' Sorry!"
"I've never paid you or Jasper back for that, you know. It might not be wise to remind me."
He saw how worried I was by the breadth of my smile.
"Am I a good father?" he asked suddenly, throwing me for a moment.
"What?"
"It just overwhelms me at times, my worry. Henry is such a good kid and I wonder if he doesn't deserve someone better. Of course, we all know what Rose has wanted for decades, but I never expected to be a dad. I was totally happy with my existence, even without Henry. Now, I'd be lost without him. Today, as I watched him and his excitement about finding Rose the perfect car…" he whispered the last just in case we were close enough for her to hear.
" … well, I just wondered how much better a man he would turn out to be if he had someone for a father that really knew what they were doing, instead of someone attempting to catch up. I look at Rose, and the expectations she has for Henry, and I get worried that one day I'll disappoint her. It scares me…to think I'd let her down and dishonor him," he finally admitted.
"Emmett, I was having similar doubts tonight as I drove Nessie home, wondering if I will be as unwavering as Carlisle when the inevitable trials hit. We'll just have to get through it together."
He continued to stare up into the sky as he continued along his pathway of self doubt.
"Em, you've done fine. Henry is wonderful, and you're a big part of the reason why. It's fine to have the doubts, but you can't let them control you." Then I smirked. "After all, that's my job."
He laughed as I continued. "And I refuse to take yours and sit in front of the TV all day watching sports."
I heard Carlisle's thoughts just a brief second before he joined us, knocking Emmett's legs over a little so that he could sit on the end of the chair.
"Why are you sitting out here, may I ask?" he asked of us, after a few minutes of companionable silence.
"We're contemplating our future failures as fathers," Emmett offered, causing Carlisle to chuckle.
"I'm glad that I only have to worry about failing as an uncle," Jasper offered, shoving my legs over to sit like Carlisle. He grinned. "You guys are too loud. Fella can't sleep with all the self flagellation out here."
Ignoring Jasper's wit, Carlisle grinned and looked at Emmett and me. "You're both fine fathers. Nessie and Henry are lucky to have you, and I must admit to you that Esme and I are enjoying seeing them challenge you, in more ways than you can imagine."
"I sense just a little too much enjoyment in his tone, Emmett. How about you?" I mumbled.
Carlisle moved quickly dodging Emmett's lunge. "I'm not going into the pool tonight. Esme is waiting, and I for one am going back to my warm bed. I came out here to tell you two to quit worrying. You can always blame Jasper for all those trips into the woods and star gazing if the kids get into trouble." He laughed gently at Jasper's affronted huff.
He punched Emmett's arm and ruffled my hair as he walked away. "Go to your beds, boys. We only have a few hours to sunrise, and tomorrow brings our meeting with the newest Uley cub."
Visions of G-strings filled my mind as the rest of us parted company.
We arrived at Sam's house just before lunch. Jacob had ordered a truckload of pizza's to feed the pack and we were quickly forgotten as the delivery man drove in right behind us. Sam, Emily, and baby Joanna arrived just a few minutes later, and pandemonium ensued as everyone attempted to help them out of the car. Jacob picked Emily up out of the seat, leaving Sam to get the baby. Emily fussed the entire time that it took Jacob to get through the crowd and into the house. He placed her on the sofa. All that could be seen above the pink blanket was a head full of black hair as Sam carried the baby seat in and set it beside his wife.
Emily laughed at the group surrounding her, telling them to back up as Gabe crawled beside her on the couch. He was anxious to see the baby that was causing all the uproar. It was then I noticed both Embry and Seth standing toward the back of the room. Neither had looked at the baby and I was amused by their thoughts.
Neither wanted to look at her, for fear of actually imprinting.
Finally, Embry decided that resistance was futile. He'd actually closed his eyes when Sam had walked in, and slowly opened one, tensing in defense. Relief poured through him when he saw her and felt absolutely nothing other than she was a cute.
I chuckled and unfortunately drew the attention of most of the room. Sam narrowed his eyes at me and scanned the room in an attempt to locate the source of my amusement. When he saw the relieved look on Embry's face, he knew immediately what had happened. He grunted at Seth, inadvertently drawing his attention. When Seth's eyes hit little Joanna, his whole body tensed. I burst out laughing at his expression and thoughts. Sam began swearing as the others wolves looked at Seth's stunned face and frozen body and began cackling. Seth's eyes grew as round as saucers and the room went still.
Seth couldn't hold it for long though, and he cracked up, bending over at the waist in laughter. That is when Sam realized he'd been scammed and charged at Seth, intent on revenge for the practical joke. Embry opened the door, allowing the two brawlers to tumble outside, then shut it softly, as if this was an everyday event. Hearing the wolves' thoughts, I realized it was. Emily continued on with her conversation with the women as if nothing had happened.
Baby Joanna and Gabriel were held, coddled, and kissed to their hearts' content by the women of my family before they and their mother began to tire. Sam and Seth had returned, much worse for wear, from their scuffle in the yard. Neither looked too upset, though, about the drying blood trails from their noses, or ripped clothing. Mangy mutts Leah thought briefly, and then grinned, knowing I caught her thought.
The biggest surprise of the evening came just as we were about to leave. Nessie jumped up and ran out the door, coming back just a few moments later with Carlisle's medical bag. The wolves all began to groan, but I remained rooted to my spot. She'd actually convinced them to allow us to draw blood. How in the world she'd accomplished this I would never know, but I wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Sorry, dad. I forgot to tell you that they agreed the next time we were together that they would let us." She said silently to me, "We give mama a priceless book for Mother's Day, and I give you science for Father's Day. Now tell me, who's going to be happier. Just kidding; I already have your present…LA LA LA LA."
Carlisle and I worked like maniacs, drawing blood before they changed their minds. The funniest was Leah. We inadvertently found out that she couldn't stand the sight of her own blood. "Makes me nauseous," she stated.
I grinned over at Bella who was studiously ignoring the whole process. "Bella couldn't stand the sight of human blood either," I said, telling on her to the wolves.
"Now that's funny," Embry said while he put two fingers in front of his mouth like fangs.
Bella just stuck her tongue out at him.
Nessie had decided to stay the night and return in the morning with Jacob, Seth, and Leah. Bella and I would be alone for the evening, and we were entirely too close to our meadow not to take advantage of the opportunity. It would most likely be ablaze with the spring blooms, and I smiled at the thought. The research on the blood stored in the back of the Suburban could wait. I called over the top of the car to tell Esme where I was taking Bella, and that we'd be home in the morning as well.
"Mr. Cullen, I do believe you have nefarious plans for my body," Bella murmured as I sank into the driver's seat, but she was clearly delighted with the thought.
I raised my eyebrow and grinned in response.
The image that stuck in my mind as we prepared to leave the reservation was of Sam standing on his porch cradling the newborn Joanna in one arm, while Gabriel rested on the other hip. Possibly because of the conversation my father, brothers, and I had just the previous evening, I was struck with the vision of Sam as not only the Alpha, but also a doting father. Gabe waved goodbye as Esme's Suburban and my Land Rover pulled out of the driveway.
"Seeing Sam with Gabe and Joanna like that reminds me of a parable I heard once during Old Quil's storytelling," Bella said, obviously having been struck by the image as well.
In response to my inquiring look she smiled and then continued, "I just realized that the way in which Sam will raise his children will have ramifications for us for eternity."
"Sam is wise, Bella. He doesn't allow the previous misunderstandings and prejudices direct his decisions."
"I know, and that is what made me smile."
As always, I was curious to know more about the Quileute. Their heritage was truly intriguing to me. I looked over to Bella again as we were nearing the trail where we would park to continue on to the meadow. "What was the parable?"
"It won't be as good coming from me, because Old Quil told it with such grandeur, so let me show it to you," she said as she placed her hand alongside my face and threw her shield away.
The light of the fire threw shadows across the elder's face as he sat stoically in his chair of honor. I could see through Bella's memory that many of the wolves sat around the fire they'd built for the gathering. Quil had been telling many stories that evening, but the night was growing late and the gathering was about to disband. He looked at each of the wolves present and began the last parable of the evening. His face was authoritative as if he was about to impart a very valuable lesson. His deep voice carried over the group.
A grandfather talking to his young grandson told the boy, "You have two wolves inside of you struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other wolf is fear, greed and hatred."
"Which wolf will win, grandfather?" asked the young boy.
"Whichever one we feed," was the reply.
A/N: Have you ever done something and then later realized what an idiot you must have looked/sounded like? Well, I did it really well this time. I researched Seattle to find a rare book dealer, and contacted said person to ask permission to utilize his name and store in this chapter. Little did I know when I was speaking to him that I was communicating with a "real" author … someone unlike me, who really knows how to write. I want to thank Edward Nudelman for allowing me the pleasure of not only using his personal and business names, but also for his personal communication. I've since read several of his short stories and poetry – GOOD stuff.
As always, I want to thank my Betas:
CullenFest – she was the very first personal email I received when I began writing this story months ago. Her support early on is the only reason I even continued. Thanks SO much for all the encouragement! Please go over and visit her stories here on FF.
Crmcneill - for his mighty red pen, and help in mapping out strategy. Contrary to how he presents himself on his FF profile, he is an incredibly patient man. The only way to thank him is to get through these next few chapters, so that we can get to a section in the story he has been dying to write for me. ;)
