Okay, so we're going to embark on a journey. A darker journey, one that will be around a different kind of Edward, a snarky, bossy Bella and a new Esme. It will be a drabble-ish type fic. The chapters will be between 1000 to 2000 words. Updates will come on Mondays and Fridays with teasers on Tuesdays and Saturdays on my blog. The link for the blog will be on my profile. The story is planned, but not pre-written.
*Angst Warning*
*Tissue Warning*
Chapter Fifty-One
EPOV
Blowing out a breath, I put on a fresh t-shirt. I stiffly got up since I couldn't feel most of my back, walking out to the living room. Bella was working on her tablet, her brow furrowed and her lips pursed. "Bella?" I called. She blinked up at me, her eyes filled with concern. I gulped down my anxiety and sat down next to her. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, love," she said, taking my hand.
"You've been amazing and so supportive, kind, and …" I whispered. "I want you to know what happened to me, Bella."
"You've told me, Edward," she said, threading our fingers together.
"Not all of it," I grimaced. "I can't move past all of this if I keep it bottled up. I want … I need to tell you. You have to know. I want you to know before I tell the police." I looked at her, gazing into her espresso colored eyes. "I want you to know that I trust you and that I love you, too." She smiled, tears welling in her eyes. She tenderly wrapped her arms around me and I felt like I was finally home.
Breaking apart, Bella gave me a tentative smile. "I don't want to force you into doing something you don't want, love," she said quietly.
"The past eleven years have been nothing but forced servitude. I want you to know what happened to me. I have to show you if I want to get better," I said. "I want you to be proud to be seen with me."
"I already am," she said.
"Bellisima, you and I both know that I'm a fucking mess," I snorted.
"Right now? Yes, but I want to help you get better," she chuckled anxiously. "It will be a work in progress, love."
I nodded, agreeing with her. "I know that you had your suspicions about Esme, but what she is; it's far worse than your most horrific nightmare," I muttered. I blew out a breath and looked at her. "Esme forced me to do things to her."
"Forced? As in …" she trailed off, her face turning an unnatural shade of puce. "She … she …"
"Yes," I whispered.
Bella shot up and stomped to the window, her hands clenched in tight fists. "Bitch is gonna fucking die. She is going to be speared by stilettos in her eyeballs. I swear to God, she will suffer. Maybe Carlisle can turn into Dr. Fucking Jekyll and perform experiments on her."
"I never said no," I argued.
"But, she just took what she wanted," Bella sneered. "It wasn't a yes, Edward. Did you want to be with her?"
"No. Never," I snarled. "I only wanted to be with one person and that was you. Unfortunately, I'm so tainted, I don't know if you want me."
"Edward, la mia forza, I will always want you. I don't give my heart freely," she said, walking to me. She sat back down and picked up my hand. Deliberately, she placed it above her heart, which was frantically beating beneath her breast. "This is yours, Edward. When I said that I love you, I meant it, with my heart, my mind and my soul."
"What does that mean?" I asked. "La mia forza?"
"My strength," she said. "You are so strong, Edward. Don't think that you aren't." I made a face, thinking otherwise. "Esme beat you down, telling you that you weren't worth it, but you are. I'll tell you as often as I can how much I love you and how proud I am of you. You didn't give up."
"I wanted to," I said. "After all I was put through, I wanted to end it all." I took her hand and led her to her bedroom. I noticed that there were fresh sheets on the bed. Dr. Banner had performed his examination in the guest room. In her room, memories of the first time I was with her flashed in my mind. She was so sexy and receptive to my touch, but now, the mere thought of touching her like that made my stomach turn. I shook that off, wanting to eventually touch her again, but I had to focus on me. "Bella, since our time in Napa, a lot has happened to me and I'm …" I gulped and bit back bile. "Deformed. Scarred. Ruined." She didn't say anything. She just walked up to me and ran her fingertips down my cheek. "I'm terrified that you won't … that I'm not worth it."
"You're worth it, love," she murmured.
I closed my eyes and removed my t-shirt and stripped down until I was naked. All of my bruises, scars, cuts and pain were on display. I was crying, tears falling down my cheeks. "Now you know," I choked out. Bella didn't respond. She just enfolded me into a tender hug. We sat down on the bed and I just cried. When I calmed down, Bella helped me back into my clothes and tucked me into the bed. She was calm, sweet, loving and so gentle. "How can you not hate me?" I whispered, my body exhausted from all of the emotional turmoil.
"I couldn't hate you if I tried," she said soothingly. "I'm appalled at what you have been through. That bitch and all her little twisted minions are gonna fucking die for what they did you, but it's not your fault. I just wish that you didn't have to endure this. Why didn't you walk away?"
"My mom," I shrugged. "Until I met you, she was all I had left. I couldn't leave her in Esme's care. You see how she treated me and I was her prized stallion, her most cherished escort. I'm scarred and ruined because of her."
"You're not ruined and you're just bruised," Bella said, threading our fingers together. "I'll be by your side, every step of the way, love."
"You're not disgusted at what you saw?" I asked.
"I'm disgusted, but not at you. At her," she spat. "Now, you get comfy and I'll make you something to eat." She handed me the remote, after turning on the television. I idly flipped the channels, not really paying attention. I never watched television. I was either working for Esme or working on Esme. On one of the classic movie channels, I stumbled on a movie I loved when I was a kid. I curled up, watching some silly Disney film.
However, the shattering of a plate, broke my reverie. Bella screech forced me from the comfort of the bed.
What now?
A/N: Exactly, Edward. What now? Leave me some!
