50 Chapters Special... Sort of

(Standard disclaimer: copypaste intensifies...)

Additional disclaimer: This was, is and will be never intended to make fun of/degrade the actual show (even though that's pretty much what I've been doing for the last 49 chapters). I love the show and I don't mean offense to anybody else who does.

Hello guys.
First of all, THANK YOU for supporting me this far.
I never thought I could get to Chapter 50 or get more than a hundred reviews... But they happened!
Thank you so much!
Aaaand now, to celebrate the 50th chapter, I shall...

*dramatic drum roll*

Mock myself.

So... I have finally sunk to the level of making fun of myself. AND I WILL NEVER CEASE TO BE REPETITIVE! MUHAHAHAHA!

...Why the face? You know I'm never serious.

Anyway, here goes nothing!


It was another nondescript day located somewhere on a certain timeline for the Rebels because a teenage fanfiction writer was too lazy to explain shit.

"HURR DURR LET'S DO SOMETHING STUPID," said Ezra, who had apparently been doing stupid things since Season One.
"I'm not sure about that, and also I seem to be the only logical person around here," contemplated Hera.
"YAY IT'S A BRILLIANT PLAN EZRA LET'S DO IT" cheered Sabine and Zeb except Zeb growled the words because that's what he does.

Anyway they somehow ended up agreeing to do the stupid thing and stepped out of the Ghost when Mickey Mouse appeared.
"I AM YOUR BOSS SO DO AS I SAY" he squeaked and gave the Ghost crew a set of instructions.
"Ok Mickey" they said.

Some time later they had moved to a different place that had Imperials in it.
"THIS IS WHERE WE WILL DO REBELLION STUFF AND KILL OFF RANDOM STORMTROOPERS," declared Ezra.
"WE'LL DIE OFF AND BE PORTRAYED AS POOR INNOCENT BYSTANDERS EVEN THOUGH WE WERE TRYING TO KILL EZRA," declared the stormtroopers.
"We'll just stand here in the corner and be pitifully sacrificed," declared the Imperial officers.
"We'll just get pathetically beaten up for no reason and lament our bad luck even though we are actually an evil empire that does evil stuff," said the Empire in general.

"I WANNA FIGHT YOU" Maul popped down from the ceiling, brandishing his lightsaber.
"DAMMIT GO HOME MAUL CLONE WARS IS OVER" someone complained.
"But Mickey Mouse told me to stay," said Maul.
"Ok then," replied the someone.

"NO ONE CAN PENETRATE OUR DISNEY SHIELDS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" laughed the Rebels as they stormed the Imperial base/headquarters/ship/place/thingy.

"Wtf, Disney is lame, but I can see through all of the schemes so eat shit Hera," said Thrawn.
The Rebels got their butts kicked.
"Yay Thrawn" said the Imperials. "Finally we get someone cynical on our side."

The Ghost crew trudged into Mickey's sparkling white office in a beaten heap and walked in on Mickey bullying another Imperial because apparently the aforementioned lazy writer now wanted to emphasize the no-mercy-to-villains side of Disney.

"Thrawn beat us," they whined.
"HOW DARE HE" yelled Mickey. "Oh and you're gonna die, now get out," he added to the Imperial who dragged himself outside to either go sulk in a corner or torment insubordinate citizens.
"AND NOW I WILL USE MY CONGLOMERATE MASCOT POWERS TO MAKE YOU WIN" blabbered Mickey as he grabbed a sheet of script and a quill from the other side of the room with his elastic arms and began dramatically crossing out and rewriting words.
"THERE, IT'S DONE, GIVE THIS TO YOUR SUPERVISORS" he said as he handed the corrected sheet to the Rebels five seconds later.
"OK THANKS MICKEY" yelled Ezra as he and his team pranced out of the room.

"OH BUT WAIT" Mickey dove under his desk and pulled out an impossible-sized bucket full of Clone Wars.
"THIS WILL HELP US" he dumped the whole thing onto the Rebels' heads.
"I KNEW IT, I HATE YOU MICKEY" screamed Kanan as he was bombarded with Clone Wars battle droids, Clone Wars whiny Anakin, Clone Wars clone troopers and Clone Wars Maul.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA" laughed Mickey evilly.
"Save me" groaned Hera as she got stuck under a pile of Jedi.
"Wake me up, wake me up inside," sang Ezra as he was hit full in the face by a Clone Wars Maul and now suddenly his hair was shaved and he was emo as fuck.
"Save me from the dark," joined in Kanan who was suddenly blind and had a MOOOSSTASCHE.

"Don't worry soldiers, we can still beat them," said Thrawn.
"Ok thanks for the encouragement, by the way I hate your spelling," Kallus told him.
"Oh hi Kallus I'm your new mid-boss and I'm totally not the scientist from Indiana Jones," said Governor Pryce.
"Where's my episode?" whined Vader.
"SJDGFASJDG GOD DAMMIT JUST CATCH THOSE REBELS ALREADY" yelled Tarkin.

JUST THEN (cue dramatic music), a huge shadow of Mickey Mouse loomed over them all.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHA I CONTROL THIS UNIVERSE AND YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF WINNING WHATSOEVER!" laughed the mouse in an evil magnified squeak.
Everything blew up as Mickey's laughing continued in the background and then they all died.

THE END


...I take back what I said earlier.
Not sure if I made fun of myself or the show.

(Trivia: This chapter has exactly 900 words excluding this sentence.)