Chapter 51

We Take Care of Our Own

During the coldest winter on record for nearly a hundred years, Caprica's street people struggled to survive. Shelters were overrun and deaths due to hypothermia and pneumonia increased dramatically. So many homeless Capricans sought shelter in the subway tunnels that trains were delayed. President Adar was finally forced to call in the Marines to evict them. The ensuing skirmishes that left over a hundred homeless and four Marines dead were dubbed The Subway Wars by the press. Cavil's effigy was burned on the steps of the Capitol Building after a speech in which he expressed his belief that the bitterly cold winter was 'nature's way of culling the weak from the human herd'.

-Bartell, History of the Second Cylon War

.

"I didn't think you were going to make it to class," Karl said to Kara on the first Tuesday morning after winter break in their Colonial History class.

"I forgot my book," Kara said. "I had to go back for it."

Forgot it on purpose because I didn't want you asking me any questions.

"How's Sharon?"

"Shhhhh, class is starting."

"Is she all right this morning?"

"She's fine," Kara whispered as she fixed her eyes on Hugh Connelly.

"How was winter break?" Connelly asked the entire class.

There was murmurs of, "Good. Great. Cool. Okay."

"So is everyone ready for round two otherwise known as Colonial History, the last hundred years?"

He was answered by several groans.

"Come on, everyone, why is a knowledge of history important?"

Cadet Pike, as usual, was the one who answered him. "Because without knowing history, we're doomed to repeat it."

"Can anyone give me a good example of how our leaders have repeatedly ignored history?" When no one said anything, Connelly asked, "What about Canceron? Eighty-three years ago the government redrew some boundary lines that were protected by a hundred-twelve-year-old treaty. They literally carved out large sections of territory and put them in the hands of a non-resident administrator in order to ensure that mineral rights went to the adminstrator's friends. The ensuing war cost the lives of tens of thousands. Did our government learn a lesson? Who can tell me what the government did on Tauron twenty-two years ago?"

"The same thing?" Karl ventured.

Connelly smiled. "Good guess, Cadet Agathon."

"The Marines had to go to Tauron," Kara said. "My mother was wounded there."

"Again thousands of lives were lost as the indigenous people fought to reclaim their lands from the miners. A precedent was set in that the President used a military force to intervene in a non-military matter. There is no better teacher than history and no teacher more often ignored. During the last hundred years, the drawing of Colonial borders without regard to tribal and other territorial markers has resulted in no less than sixteen wars in the Colonies, all of them taking from a few thousands to hundreds of thousands of lives."

After class Kara stayed in her seat. "I need to talk to Connelly about something," she told Karl. "I'll catch you later."

"Is anything wrong?"

"No, Karl, I'm fine." She waited until he walked out of the room before she got out of her seat and walked to the front.

Connelly looked up. "Hello, Kara."

"I need somebody to talk to."

"About history?"

"Personal history."

"Boyfriend troubles?"

"No. Something else. I've got to go to my lit class now. Will you be in your office this afternoon around 16:00?"

"I will be if you need to talk."

"Thanks." At the door she turned. "Did I really make a good grade in your class or did you give it to me because of…the camp?"

"You did well, Kara. You studied hard. You earned your grade."

She smiled. "Okay, thanks."

When Kara got to Mrs. Nagala's class, she sat down in a desk near the door and on the opposite side of the room from Karl. She didn't feel quite as bad knowing that Karl and Sharon had both made the same grade as her in the class. Maybe Laura was right. Maybe Mrs. Nagala's taste in literature was influenced by what had happened in her life. Maybe life was dark for her now and she liked dark stories because of it. Kara just knew that she would ask around before she picked another book from the reading list to do a paper on. She settled back in her desk as Mrs. Nagala began her lecture on the author Bathsheba Everdene, the first woman writer they had studied.

Mrs. Nagala looked directly at Kara when she said, "Some of you may have more of an appreciation for Everdene's work than others. Several critics have written that she has a far greater understanding of the human heart than some other writers whose works have garnered more commercial rewards and literary acclaim."

As soon as the class ended, Kara tucked the new list of reading assignments into her notebook and left the room.

Karl caught up with her outside the building. "Why are you avoiding me?"

She shrugged.

"It's about Sharon, isn't it?"

Kara stopped and looked at her best friend. "What would you do if I were right about her? How would you handle it?"

"You're still hung up on that thing about her being a Cylon, aren't you?"

"I just want you to remember that I'll always be your friend. I'll never turn my back on you…no matter what."

"Frak, Kara. What is it about being wrong that you can't take?"

"Karl, I'm going to walk away before we get into an argument over it. Just remember what I said. No matter what, I'm your friend."

She turned and walked away in the bright, cold sunshine. As much as she wanted it to happen, she was already dreading the day Sharon told him. She knew Karl was going to be crushed. At least her conscience was clear, though. She'd told Karl, she'd tried to warn him again, and she'd told him she would always be his friend. She would stand by him. She didn't know what else she could do.

That afternoon she walked back over to the Language Arts and History Building and to Connelly's office. His door was standing open, and he was talking to Fiona. Kara started to turn away, but they saw her.

Mrs. Nagala said, "Come in, Kara. I was just leaving."

"I can come back later."

"No. We were just chatting about the lack of progress in solving Jeff Reider's murder. The trail gets colder by the day."

Mrs. Nagala said, "He may have been a weak and despicable man, but he didn't deserve to have his neck snapped for it."

"We'll talk later, Fiona," Hugh said. "Kara has an appointment."

Fiona stood. "I understand you weren't too happy about the grade you earned in my class. A 2.0 is very good considering how far behind you and most of the others are."

"I hope we don't have to read another one of Roland Daley's books this semester."

Connelly said. "I doubt you will. He hasn't written anything worth reading for the last ten or so years. I think we can safely say that Allegra After the Fall was his most notable achievement. He's all but fallen into obscurity."

He gestured for Kara to take a seat and then he shut the door.

"Is it okay for us to be in here with the door shut?" She asked him. "I don't want to get you in trouble…you know with the red line rule."

"Why do you think these doors are glass on the top half? Admin recognizes that an instructor's communication with a student often needs to be confidential, but they make us do it behind glass. Only a fool would try something in a fishbowl."

"Reider crossed the red line in the worst kind of way," Kara said. "I heard a rumor that he raped a student, maybe more than one."

"And he paid the ultimate price. We know that now. So tell me what's on your mind."

"In the camp I told you about my mom and my real dad and how she stayed behind and he flew me and Karl here."

"I remember everything you told me, Kara."

"Then you remember about my other father, too. The one who was married to my mother."

He nodded. "The one who left when you were young and you never saw again. You said he died on Picon along with your mother."

"He didn't die on Picon. He's here in Caprica City. He's a musician. He's playing piano at a place down on Acropolis Street."

"How did you find that out?"

"Lee's brother Zak was out drinking with a friend. He took a picture with his mobile phone because the guy had the same last name as mine. It was totally a chance thing. That's all. I mean I guess it was a chance thing."

"Have you seen him and talked to him?"

"No. I just saw the picture of him, but I recognized him right away. I have a picture that I kept of him and me. It's in the box where I keep my mother's pistol. I see it every time I take the gun out and clean it. I was six. He hasn't changed all that much."

"And you want to know whether you should visit him or not."

"I don't know what to do. I told Lee I wasn't going to do anything, but now I don't know. I haven't slept much for the last couple of nights thinking about it."

"Then you should probably do something. You've obviously got some unresolved feelings you need to deal with."

"What do you think about Oracles?" Kara suddenly asked.

"Does this have something to do with finding out this man is still alive?"

"I keep coming back to something an Oracle told me last spring."

"I'm not a scholar of religious history by any means, but all of our religions have had their prophets and mystics. Some people believe in them. Some don't. I personally don't."

Kara looked at her hands. "There's an Oracle who lives down near the waterfront. I've been to see her a few times. The first time I went, she told me there were six important men in my life. She said that one of them was in my past and in my future. Karl thought it might be you. I thought it might be Tom Zarek. Now I'm wondering if it might be him…the musician. The more I think about it, the more I think I should go see him. I mean what if it's him the Oracle was talking about and I don't do anything?"

"I can understand why you would want to see him, but you need to be prepared for any type of reception. He may be happy to see you. He may not be. He may think you want something from him that he's not prepared or able to give you."

"I don't want anything from him. Besides, he might not even remember me."

"He'll remember you," Hugh said gently. "I don't care what his motivation was for walking out on you and your mother, he'll remember you. What does John say about it?"

"I haven't told him."

"You need to, Kara. He's your father. You need to tell him. If this place is a dive like you say, and you decide to visit, then you need somebody to go with you."

"I don't think he's the right person to go with me. I think he's the main reason my parents split."

"And your boyfriend?"

"I don't know if Lee is the right person, either. He's my dad's best friend. He's not going to be too objective about it."

A questioning look spread across Connelly's face. "Do I understand, then, that you're asking me to go with you?"

"If I decide to go. I don't even know the name of the place. Zak said it's on Acropolis Street a couple of doors down from a strip joint called Lavender Blue. His name is Dreilide Thrace. My mom always called him Del. They got married right after high school."

"What do you remember about him?" Connelly asked.

"We lived in a big, older house on Picon until I was eight years old. He had a room where he kept all his music stuff. That's where the piano was. I wasn't supposed to go in there without him. The day he moved out he took everything but the piano. I came home from school and it was all gone."

"What else?"

"My mom never told me why he left. He played in a jazz band and sometimes did solo concerts. He slept late most mornings and I had to be quiet when I was in the house or he would come out of the bedroom and yell at me."

"Is that why you liked to play outside more than you liked being inside?"

She shrugged.

"Dig deeper, Kara. There's more. You need to be honest with yourself before you confront him. You need to understand your own feelings first."

Kara could feel tears somewhere in the back of her eyes. She looked at her hands again.

"He tried to teach me to play the piano. I wasn't any good. I tried but…I don't have any talent. He could tell." After a long pause she said. "He smoked. There was usually a lit cigarette in an ashtray on top of the piano. He kept a box of kitchen matches that he lit his cigarettes with and when I was there he would hold up the match and I would blow it out. It was like a…like a…"

"Ritual. Just the two of you."

She nodded and lost her struggle not to cry. "I loved him."

Hugh Connelly got up from behind his desk. In the back of her mind Kara knew they were crossing the red line, but her need for the comfort of his arms was so great at the moment that it didn't matter. It wasn't about sex or romantic love. It was about a hole in her heart that she had covered over and never been able to heal.

Only later, as she walked back to her dorm, did she realize the terrible risk Connelly had taken just to hold her while she cried, to put her head on his shoulder and gently and wordlessly stroke her hair until she was empty of tears. If anyone had walked by and seen them, he could have lost his job for that kind of physical contact with her, especially since Captain Reider's misconduct had come to light. But she was also certain now that the bond between them, born in the camp when they had both lost so much, would be there forever.

She would keep him always in a special place in her heart.

"Look at your instruments again," her father said to Kara at the start of her Thursday afternoon sim session. "You missed something on your preflight."

Quickly she went down her checklist again. "The altimeter didn't check."

"You don't leave the ground until every instrument checks out in preflight. So let's take it again from the top. Learning to trust your instruments is important. When Lee flew his big mission a couple of months ago, he was in dense fog for part of it, fog so thick he could have reached out and stirred it with a spoon. He flew by his instruments. Your life depends on trusting your instruments."

"Okay, Major Gallagher, okay. I don't need a lecture. I missed a frakking instrument problem during preflight. Quit acting like it's the end of the frakking world."

"Whoa. That's enough of that language. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I'm having a bad day."

"A bad day is no excuse for talking to me like that…either as your father or your sim instructor. If you talked to another one of your instructors like that you'd get demerits."

"Give me the damned demerits, then. I don't care."

"All right, out of the cockpit. We're going to have a talk."

With tears that she wouldn't let fall stinging her eyes, Kara climbed out of the cockpit and followed her father down the steps beside the simulator. She would have been able to keep up the tough act if he hadn't turned at the bottom and put his arms around her.

"What's wrong, baby? This is not like you."

The reminder of how much he loved her was too much. She choked back a sob.

"I want to go home with you tonight. I don't want to go back to the dorm. I don't want to go to class tomorrow. I don't want to do this anymore."

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"Kara, something happened. Is it Sharon?"

"She knows that I know, but that's not…."

"Why didn't you call me? We'll take care of it. We can get her out of here tonight and someplace…"

"No, she and I are okay. She's not even the one who drowned. It's a different copy or something. She's not the same one. She's not going crazy like the other one."

"Then what…"

"Part of it is Karl. I told him but he doesn't believe me. Sharon isn't ready to tell him yet. I'm caught in the middle. I've started avoiding Karl because I can't lie to him. I can't look at him and see him so much in love with her like that when I know what she is."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"It's Sharon's place to tell him. Besides, the Oracle told me to guard my secrets."

"I think it's time you and I talked about the Oracle, too. I don't want you going to see her again. I don't want to see you getting so caught up in this idea of fate or destiny that you stop believing in yourself and your ability to make your own choices."

"But she's been right so far," Kara said passionately. "She's been right about everything. She even told me about him…about…about…"

"About who? Lee?"

"The musician. He's alive," she blurted.

"The musician? What are you talking about?"

"The man the Oracle said was in my past and in my future. My other father. My mom's husband. Dreilide Thrace."

Her father took a deep breath. With his arm around her shoulders, he guided her to the deserted amphitheater and up into the seats.

When they were settled, he said, "Tell me the whole thing."

She told him about her and Lee meeting Zak for lunch at L'Escargot and seeing Dreilide Thrace's picture on Zak's mobile phone.

For a long time her father didn't speak. Finally he said, "You're sure it's him?"

"I'm sure. I kept a picture of him…me and him…the day he took me to first grade. That was while mom was on Tauron. He took care of me for a couple of months before she got wounded and came back. Besides how many Dreilide Thraces who are musicians can there be?"

"What do you want to do? Do you want to see him?"

She heard something in his voice. Was it hurt? Fear? Concern? Love? All of the above?

"I don't know. I don't know if I want to see him or not. But I think I need to. I want him to tell me why he left. And why he never tried to see me again."

There was another long silence

"Do you blame me for him leaving?" John finally asked.

Her father had zeroed in on the heart of the matter. Did she blame him?

"They fought a lot. Mom wanted him to get a real job."

"That's not what I asked you, Kara."

"I don't know. I don't know how I feel right now."

"I loved your mother. It wasn't just a casual affair. I don't know if that makes any difference to you or not, but I loved her a lot more than she ever loved me. I would have married her if she would have had me. I would have been a father to you if she would have let me. I still think about her."

"What about Laura?"

"I love Laura, but that doesn't mean your mother isn't still here for me." He touched his uniform over his heart. "That's the only reason I can accept the fact that Laura still has feelings for Bill. I know how hard it is to completely let go of the past."

They sat in silence again for a long time.

"I'm ready to get back in the simulator now."

"You're still a sim ahead of the others, Kara. Let's call it a day. I can get you a pass if you want to go home with me tonight. I'll bring you back in the morning in time for your first class."

"No, I'm okay now. Mom would have told me to suck it up and get over it. That was one of her favorite things to say to me. Suck it up, Kara. I can still hear her say it."

"I just want you to know how much I love you."

Kara put her head on her father's shoulder. "I know that, Dad. And I don't blame you for him leaving. I blame her and him. They both made choices. Some of them were bad."

"Kara, sometimes things don't work out between two people, especially when they're both young like they were when they got married. They started dating in the tenth grade and married right after high school. Sometimes you grow apart instead of together. At first it's all hot and physical and you think it will always be that way and you can't see all those differences that get to be more and more important as the years go by."

"Is this going to turn into a lecture about me and Lee?"

"No, baby. You don't need that from me right now. I'm just saying that all relationships are hard sometimes. You have to compromise and you have to forgive and you have to work at it. It doesn't just happen all the time. But if you both love each other, you'll find a way to make it work."

"I'm glad you're my father. Ever since the night you took me off Picon, you've been like a hero to me. I'm glad I'm going to be a pilot like you."

"Come on. Let me shut down the computer and I'll walk with you over to your dorm. If we sit here any longer, you'll make me cry."

"Suck it up, Dad."

You know there are times you remind me so much of her."

She smiled. "Let's hope Braedon takes after Laura. I'm sure you don't want another one like me."

Lee was unlocking the door of his apartment when his phone buzzed.

He saw John's mobile number on his caller ID. "Hey, what's up?"

"You got plans tonight?"

"No. Why?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Is it Kara? Has something happened to Kara?"

"No. It's about what happened at lunch on Sunday."

Lee knew exactly what was wrong. "Dreilide Thrace. She told you."

"You act like that surprises you."

"She said she wasn't going to do anything. I told her to talk to you, but you know Kara. She said there was nothing to talk about."

"That place near your apartment, Zeno's. Meet me there at seven tonight."

"I'll be there, John."

Lee walked into the bedroom and took off his uniform. He had just enough time to change clothes, go for a run, shower and get to Zeno's by seven. John was already there sitting at the bar. Lee slid onto the barstool beside him.

"You started without me," he gestured to the bartender to bring him a beer like John's.

"This is my first one. I haven't been here long."

"Does Laura know where you are?"

"I told her I was meeting you for a drink. She was fine with it. Billy was still there when I left. She's going to run for President. They're drafting her press announcement."

"That surprises me."

"I didn't even know she was thinking about it. She dropped that one on me last Saturday night."

"You don't want her to?"

"From a selfish point of view, no. I'd like for her to slow down and enjoy being a mother to our son. I don't see how she thinks she can be the President and still give our child the kind of attention he deserves. But it's not my career, not my decision."

"You sound like you're sure she'll be elected."

"I'm basing that on the ones who have declared their intentions so far. Nobody's anywhere near as popular with the people or the press as she is. I think she'll be elected."

"So where does that leave you?"

"I don't know. Where does it leave me?"

"Teaching? Raising Braedon?"

John shrugged. "On the back burner in Laura's life, that's for sure. I knew a pilot once who said marriage is why the gods gave us bars."

"You're in a lousy mood tonight. You've been married all of ten months. Surely the honeymoon isn't over already."

"I really want a cigarette. For the first time in months I really want a cigarette. It's probably being in a bar like this. I can't tell you how many times I sat in a bar like this near some airfield and had a post-flight beer and a couple of cigarettes."

"No cigarettes. You've done too good to backslide now."

"You're right. I am in a lousy mood tonight. You want to hear something funny? I just finished telling Kara how love is all about compromise and working at it and not giving up. I guess I'd better try to practice what I preach."

"Tell me about Kara. That's what started all this, isn't it?"

"You probably know more about it than I do. You were there when she found out Dreilide Thrace is still alive."

"Does she want to see him? Because she told me she didn't. She said that chapter of her life was over."

"She doesn't know what she wants to do. I should have brought her home with me tonight. She's been through so much in the last four and half years. Sometimes I can hardly believe that she's done as well as she has."

"Kara is tough and she's smart."

"She's like her mother or maybe her mother made her that way. Who knows?"

"Are you're worried that she'll want to spend some time with her…other father?"

"He's the only father she knew until he abandoned her when she was eight. He wasn't much of one, but he's all she had. I should have been there for her when he walked out on her and her mom, but her mother…hell, she didn't even tell me about it for months and when she did, the first frakking thing she does is tell me that doesn't mean we'll get married. She'd already moved into base housing. She said she and Kara were settled and that's how it would stay and that if I wanted to keep seeing her, I'd accept it. And what did I do? I said okay. When Kara was three I saw a lawyer and found out I had no legal right to her…none at all. Zero. Zip. Nada. So I kept seeing her mother because I loved Socrata and because I hoped that one day…" He stopped talking and took another swallow of the beer.

"What are you doing, John? Taking a nice guilt trip down memory lane? Kara loves you. You and her…you are so much alike."

"Something else," John said. "I don't want Kara going back to that Oracle. I'm afraid she's getting too wrapped up in the fate and destiny thing. I don't want her to think that every time she has a tough decision to make in her life or she's confused about something that all she has to do is run to some blind former priest and hold her hands and get divine guidance."

"You won't get any arguments from me on that, although," Lee hesitated and then said, "Yolanda Brenn does have an uncanny knack for knowing things she logically shouldn't."

"On top of everything else, Kara told me that Sharon knows."

"That Kara knows she's a Cylon?"

"Yeah. I walked with Kara back over to her dorm tonight and we talked about it the whole way. She's convinced that this is a different Sharon, a different copy. She has all of the other Sharon's memories, but she's different. She told Kara that her mission was to learn about human emotions. Kara wants to let things play out for a while. She still thinks between Sharon's feelings for Karl and her friendship with Kara, that she will turn and help us."

"I don't like it."

"Neither do I, but Kara's learning from Sharon, too. I made the decision to let Kara go with her gut instinct."

Lee turned up his beer and finished it. He signaled the bartender for another one. "I hope you're right."

"Kara told me that this new Sharon was somehow able to access the memories of the one who drowned and then downloaded."

"New Sharon? I don't get it."

"Neither do I exactly, but apparently Kara does. The new one went to Colonel Burgher this past Monday and asked to change her call sign from Boomer to Athena. He let her do it since she hasn't gotten to Flight School yet."

"What happened to Boomer?"

"She's still on the basestar. A copy of Cavil and another Natasi that's called Six wouldn't let her come back. They sent Athena instead. I guess they've got to work on Boomer's programming some more. Oh, there's seven models even though Sharon is number eight. Their creators made a mistake numbering them or lost a model or something."

"Lost a model? How did that happen?"

"Beats me. We don't even know who created the skinjobs or exactly how they did it."

"Seven," Lee said. "Then maybe we know who they are…Cavil, Simon, Natasi, Doral, Leoben and Sharon. That's six. And if D'Anna Biers is one like Laura suspects…that's our seven. I hope Kara doesn't get so tied up in trying to turn Sharon that she gets taken in herself. She's always defended Leoben. I just hope she keeps her priorities straight."

"Lee, I can promise you one thing. My daughter would never pick a Cylon over a human. If it comes down to a choice, Kara will make the right one."

"I agree," Lee said.

"I called your dad to see if he could meet us tonight. He already had something planned. He's coming over tomorrow night. I think he has some news about Baltar and maybe the Raider, too, but he wouldn't say anything over the phone."

"I'm going to see Kara tomorrow night. We'll talk about everything."

"Good. She needs you right now more than ever. If she wants to see…I know she wouldn't ask me, but if she wants to see Thrace…"

"I'll go with her. Did he know about you and Kara's mom?"

"If he didn't, he was blind. In the beginning Socrata tried to keep our relationship a secret, but before he left, I don't think she cared if he knew or not."

"Does he know Kara isn't his daughter?"

"I'm not sure. Except for her eyes, Kara looks like her mother."

Lee realized later that if he hadn't been feeling the effect of two beers, he probably wouldn't have said what he did next. But it was on his mind and it came out of his mouth.

"Kara had a tough time after Thrace left and she and her mom moved into base housing. A couple of weeks ago she told me how she met Karl. She was getting beat up on the playground a lot and one day he stepped in and stopped it."

"Lee, please don't tell me any more bad things about Kara's childhood right now. I don't think I can handle it."

"John, that's the past. Kara's with you now. She loves you. Let it go. Now I think you should call it a night and go home. I'm going to do the same thing. We've both got to work in the morning."

Lee walked outside with John and watched as his friend got into a transport. Then he walked the two blocks back to his apartment. He made a sandwich, watched an hour of mindless television and went to bed.

The dream came sometime later, the dream he'd had once before while he was in Sovana, the night he had broken Neil Speigel. He squared off in his Viper against a Cylon Raider. He saw the tracers arc across the space between them as he fired, saw the rounds strike the Raider, but this time the Raider didn't explode. The red eye swung side to side, cold and precise, taking his measure, and then it fired. The missile was streaking toward him when he woke up.

His heart was pounding, his breath coming in quick gasps just as it had the day he had flown the mission, the moment his dradis had shown the second Cylon Raider closing fast on him. He sat up and put his feet on the floor but couldn't banish the after effects of the dream. Only when he turned on the bedside lamp did the image fade from his mind.

Kara got out of bed and pulled on a sweatshirt. In an effort to conserve energy, the thermostats were now being lowered in all the dorms by several more degrees during the night. The two power plants that supplied Caprica's energy were running at full capacity in a winter that had been colder than any on record for nearly a hundred years. If anything happened that took even one of them off-line for several days, the toll in human suffering and lives would be immense. President Adar had appealed to everyone to lower their thermostats and conserve.

Kara went to the window and slowly and quietly raised the blinds. The frigid night was crystal clear, the vault of the heavens dotted with stars. They looked close enough to touch. She put a finger against the cold pane of glass and shivered. Somewhere out there Colonial battlestars floated in the weightlessness of deep space, waiting, preparing. Somewhere out there, too, were three more Cylon basestars.

Less than a year Commander Adama had said. Less than a year until he would put his plan into motion. The clock was already ticking. She was part of it, but her part still wasn't clear to her. She knew that she would be in a Viper, but there was more, something else she was supposed to do, something that linked her to Leoben and her brother, too, but she didn't know what it was yet.

If there were no ceiling above her and she could look straight up at the sky, she would be able to see something that looked like a small, spiky piece of the moon, the huge Cylon basestar that maintained a low orbit always over Caprica City. She thought about the other Sharon…Boomer…who was now on that ship. What was she doing? How was she being re-educated? How were the memories of Troy and Captain Reider being erased from her programming?

"Is something wrong?"

Even though Sharon's voice was soft, Kara still jumped. She took a deep breath.

"No, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I was just looking at the stars."

"Cavil doesn't sleep. He deleted all the sleep routines from his programming."

"Why? So he can watch everybody all the time?"

"He says sleep isn't necessary. Personally, I like to sleep."

"Do you dream?" Kara asked her.

"Yes. Our creators made us as much like themselves as they could."

"Your creators were human?"

"Yes."

"Are they on one of the basestars?"

"No."

"Where are they?"

"They're on our homeworld."

"Where is your homeworld?"

"It's in another solar system, but I don't know which one. I'm going to tell Karl about me."

"When?" Kara asked in surprise.

"This weekend. We're going to take the subway into Caprica City on Saturday afternoon and go ice skating. I'm going to tell him while we're there."

"What made you decide to do it now?"

"Because I know it's causing problems with you and him. He told me you've been avoiding him."

"Karl's the best friend I've ever had. He's as close to me as a brother. It's either avoid him or get into it with him. He thinks I'm wrong and just won't admit it."

"I think…maybe…in some way he already knows, and that's what he's having a problem with."

Kara got back into her bed and pulled up the covers. "He's probably not going to take it too good."

"I know. He's probably going to break up with me."

"You're probably right."

"I'm learning. It hurts just to think about it."

Friday night Lieutenant Sydell was on the front desk. Since the incident at the winter dance, she had left Kara alone. Kara didn't know why, but she was grateful. She waited patiently while Lee chatted with Shelley for a minute before they left to walk to the student union.

At the bottom of the steps, he stopped her and pulled her to him. Their kiss naturally followed and deepened fast.

"Hey, Thrace, it's too cold to frak on the sidewalk," a male voice said.

Kara and Lee moved apart. Cadet Pike walked by with a girl. Both of them were laughing.

"Frak you, Pike," Kara called after them. "Damn suck-up," she muttered after he was out of earshot. "I found out he made a 3.9 in Mrs. Nagala's class. He probably frakked her for it."

Lee said. "I doubt Mrs. Nagala is frakking Cadet Pike."

"I forgot. She's frakking your dad."

"I wouldn't go there with Zak. I'm not going to go there with you."

They didn't speak again until they got inside the building that housed the cafeteria and student union. They found a small table near the back wall.

"I met your dad for a drink last night," Lee said after they piled their coats on an empty chair.

"And you had a nice little heart-to-heart about how I'm losing it."

"No. I think this thing with Dreilide Thrace being alive has gotten to him."

"He doesn't have anything to worry about."

"If you decide to go see him, I'll go with…"

"It's already taken care of. If I decide to go, someone will go with me. I wouldn't go somewhere like that alone."

"You asked Karl to go with you?"

"No."

"Who?"

"Lee, if I go…and that's still a big if…I'll talk to you afterward. I don't have anything to say right now. Maybe I need closure. Maybe then I'll have something to say."

"You haven't asked Laura to go to a bar, have you?"

"No. I wouldn't dare ask the Secretary of Education to go to some dive on Acropolis Street. Can you see what kind of field day the press would have if they got wind of that. Presidental candidate caught slumming on Acropolis Street." Kara snickered.

"You asked Hugh Connelly."

When Kara didn't deny it, Lee knew he was right. He took a deep breath and looked away as he blew it out.

"Go ahead and get mad at me," Kara said. "Tell me Connelly's only doing me a favor so he can get into my pants."

"I wasn't going to say that to you. You're the one who mentioned Connelly and sex in the same sentence. I just hope you know what you're doing because he's an instructor and you're a student. Visiting a seedy bar on Acropolis Street with him would definitely be looked at as crossing the red line…for both of you."

"What do you think we're going to do, run into Colonel Winters in a place like that?"

"No, but I still think you're taking a big chance going with Connelly."

She leaned in close to his face and they stared at each other until Kara slid the tip of her tongue over her lips.

The hot, sexual current arced between them. She said, "You can come get me tomorrow afternoon. We can go back to your apartment."

"What time can you leave?"

"16:00. I've got to make up a class tomorrow after lunch. We've all got to qualify on the rifle range. It seems Captain Reider was going to do that this semester. Now they've had to hire someone to come in from the outside. He can only do it on Saturdays."

"You'll qualify in the first round."

"I don't know. I haven't shot at anything since…in a long time."

"It's like riding a bicycle," Lee said lightly. "You don't forget how."

"No, you don't," Kara said, her voice sad and serious.

Laura was sitting in her chair reading President Adar's warm response to her letter announcing her intention to run when the doorbell rang.

John was lying on the couch with Braedon, fed and dry, on his chest. Their son was able to push up now and turn his head. At the moment, though, she could tell he was staring at his father with those serious eyes of his as John talked to him about flying a Viper.

"I'll get it. Stay where you are. You know Braedon doesn't understand a word you're saying to him."

John smiled. "Yes, he does. He's got that oh, no, not-another-bullshit-pilot-story-from-dad look in his eyes."

Laura turned at the door. "Don't say bullshit in front of our child."

John laughed. "I thought you said he doesn't understand a word I'm saying."

Shaking her head she walked into the foyer and opened the door to Bill Adama.

"Hello, Laura."

"Come in, Bill."

She glanced at him but avoided a lingering look.

John was sitting up, Braedon on his lap when they got to the den.

Bill walked over to John. "May I?" He held out his hands.

John lifted Braedon who went to Bill willingly. Laura had noticed that so far her son had shown no reticence about strangers.

John stood. "Drink?"

"My usual. Thanks. Well, Laura, your son is prettier than John, but not a pretty as you."

She smiled. "John is already trying to convince him he should be a pilot."

"The gods forbid," Bill said. "He should be a scholar and a humanitarian like his mother."

John said, "I wasn't trying to convince him to be a pilot. I think he should be a scholar, too. We've already got two pilots in the family. As long as Braedon is free to choose what he wants to do, that's all I care about."

Laura took Brae so Bill could take his drink. They all sat.

"News about Dr. Baltar first," John said. "Did you have to haul his ass out of bed on Monday morning?"

"I did, and you're right, he wasn't alone."

"Natasi?" Laura asked.

"No, a very attractive blond, but not Natasi."

"And?"

Bill snorted. "He told me his alarm clock hadn't gone off. I told him I wasn't interested in the kind of excuses a slacker would use. I gave him an ultimatum. I told him I was going to drop by unannounced at least one morning a week from now on. I told him that the first time I found him MIA from the lab and he wasn't in the morgue, then his ass was off our project and I was replacing him with a well-known virologist. I asked him for a progress report. He stammered around and tried spouting some of that scientific bullshit. I told him I didn't care to hear more excuses. I asked if he had made any progress on decoding the virus? A dozen excuses later his answer was no. Personally I don't think he's been trying very hard."

Laura looked at her son. He smiled at her, a big toothless grin. "Braedon finds your story very amusing."

"I'm glad somebody does. I have better news about the Raider. The neuroscientist had a breakthrough yesterday morning. Working with a computer engineer, they've managed to find an interesting pattern in the Raider's brain waves. No matter what the other waves show, this particular one stays steady. We think it's the signal the Raider uses to let the basestar know what it is."

"You think?"

"The computer engineer said the signal is being transmitted via the Raider's neural net into the communications software and then out again at a frequency above the normal range for ship-to-ship broadcasts. He said the nearest thing he could use to describe it was a homing beacon."

Laura said. "That sounds quite complicated."

Bill laughed softly. "You should have heard their explanation before I got them to translate it into layman's terms for me."

"What's the bottom line?" John asked. "How is this going to help us? Or is it going to help us?"

"They say they can duplicate it. We may be able to get another ship into that basestar by duplicating the signal. It's a backup plan if the Cylons detect that something is wrong with the Raider and destroy it before it makes it inside."

"Another ship?" Laura asked, concern in her voice. "A ship with a pilot?"

"To drop off a timed explosive device," Bill said quickly. "It will be a volunteer mission. As I said, it's a backup plan. That basestar must be destroyed. If they were to get away, then destroying the other basestars and killing the Cylons here on Caprica is all for nothing. They'll regroup, they'll make more Cylons, more basestars, and they'll be back, maybe not in my lifetime, but certainly in your son's."

His words were greeted by silence. Laura thought of her child, of what the Oracle had said. Was his fate to leave Caprica? Was his ultimate fate to search the stars for a new home for humanity? She looked at her husband and knew he shared her thoughts.

John said quietly, "We'll make sure that ship is destroyed. We'll make sure we're rid of them now and forever no matter what it takes."

Kara stood at the Academy's outdoor firing range. The man who was going to judge their marksmanship with the rubber-bullet guns was none other than the instructor from Taggert's Gun Range outside of Caprica City. He was the man who had given her the permit to carry a weapon for Jack Fisk.

She knew he recognized her, but so far he had given no indication of it. She wondered if he remembered Carrie Warner because she saw him look several times at the name Thrace on the Velcro patch on her fatigues.

He ran through an abbreviated version of the rubber bullet explanation that he had given on that day over a year earlier when she had qualified as Carrie Warner.

"These bullets are tipped with yellow dye. They will mark the target where they hit. The rifles are loaded with six bullets each. You will fire three rounds from a standing position and three from a prone position. Aim for the target's chest. Everyone put on your ear protection and safety glasses."

Kara took her time. There was no need to rush. She raised the rifle to her shoulder, sited carefully and put three rubber bullets into the target in a tight triangle on the chest. She didn't look at anyone else's target and let the barrel of her rifle drop until it was pointed at the ground.

When everyone was through, the automatic mechanism pulled the first paper target down and brought up another one. All the cadets lay prone. The ground was hard and cold and smelled of dry leaves. As she sighted down the barrel at the target, she was aware that she was having a hard time getting her breath. Her heart began beating wildly like it had done that night at the lab. She heard the pounding of the blood in her ears under the protective cups. She saw Simon's face. Blindly she fired three shots, pulling the trigger in quick succession.

She swallowed hard several times and prayed she wouldn't throw up.

"Cadet…Thrace. You can get up now."

Kara looked around. She was the only one still on the ground. She rose on shaky legs and pulled the ear protectors off her head.

"Eject the clips and stow your rifles," the instructor barked. "Then retrieve your targets."

Numbly she walked across the frozen ground, got her targets from the holders and returned. The second target had three yellow-ringed holes in the center of the forehead so close together that they looked like one.

He made her wait until last. Until he had talked to all the other cadets and they had left one by one. By then, at least, she was breathing normally.

"Is this a cover for an ops?" He asked. "Are you an infiltrator?"

She shook her head. "I left that behind."

"So this is your real name?"

"I'm going to be a Viper pilot."

"What happened on the second target? You were to aim for the chest."

She shook her head again. "I'm not sure."

He studied her for a moment. Then he took one of the rifles, pushed in a new clip, walked up to the line and calmly fired three shots into a new target. He ejected the clip, and put the rifle back in the holder.

"Go get it."

Kara again walked across the frozen ground and brought back the paper target. In the chest was a neat triangle, the inverse of her first one.

He wrote her name with a heavy felt marker across the bottom of both targets just like he had done for the other cadets. "These are the two I'm turning in. I'll take the other one with me. I'm also passing you on the rifle part of your firearms qualification. You won't need to do this again."

"Thank you."

"We protect our own. I know what you did that night. I know the guts and skill it took. What's your call sign?"

"Starbuck."

He smiled. "Good hunting up there, Starbuck. Shoot some more of them for us."

"I plan to."

As she walked from the rifle range back to her dorm, she knew she would see the instructor from Taggert's at least once more. In a month she had to qualify on the indoor pistol range with a sidearm.

Kara wasn't aware of the time until she got back to the dorm. Lee was sitting in the lobby.

"How late am I?" She asked as he stood up.

"Twenty minutes. Are you okay?"

"I was on the rifle range. The instructor who is qualifying us is an old friend," she snickered. "Come on, let's go. I have to be back before midnight."

"Don't you want to change? Those fatigues are dirty."

"Don't worry about the fatigues. I don't plan on having them on that long."

She was right. Five minutes after they got to his apartment, the fatigues were on the bathroom floor and they were in the shower. Instead of rushing, though, he took his time with her. He made her stand with her hands against the shower wall while the warm water ran down her body and he massaged her neck and shoulders.

He felt her body relax under his hands. He tried to ignore his own desire as he put his mouth against the back of her neck and then the side of her neck. His hands cupped her breasts. She pushed back against him.

He finally reached the limit of his self-control. His hands slid down on her. She arched her back. It didn't take but a little shift of position and he was inside of her.

He managed to last until he saw her hands clench into fists against the fiberglass wall.

He said her name in a moan just before the pleasure overtook him. What he wouldn't give to have her with him every night.

After they were dry, they crawled into bed and he settled her against him. He wanted to talk, but in just a few minutes Kara's breathing evened out into sleep. There were so many things he wanted to talk to her about, but he let her sleep until nearly 7:15 when hunger forced him to get out of bed, pull on jeans and a sweatshirt and call in a pizza order. After it was delivered, he woke her up.

"Hey, sleepyhead, dinner is served."

He found a pair of sweatpants and another sweatshirt for her. Kara went into the bathroom and brushed her hair back into a ponytail. She trudged into the kitchen. Lee had already eaten two slices of pizza.

"I was starving."

"I think I could have slept straight through until morning."

"I think that would have gotten you into trouble with the Academy."

"Big trouble. Sharon probably told Karl by now. They were going ice skating this afternoon. She said she was going to tell him."

"What do you think he'll do?"

"Break up with her. I expect I'll hear from him tomorrow. Or maybe not. It depends on what wins out…needing to talk or not wanting to admit he was wrong and I was right about her."

"I still worry about you and her."

"No reason to. Sharon and I are okay."

"Aren't you going to eat anything?"

"I guess." Kara picked up a slice of pizza and took a bite. "I frakked up on the rifle range this afternoon."

"You missed?"

"No. The second set of shots I put into the target's head instead of the chest. The instructor covered for me."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I…lost it for a minute when I had to lay down on the ground. I was…it was weird. I was back at the lab. I smelled those dead leaves and I freaked. I shot Simon again. Three times. In the head."

"It got to you that bad?"

Kara put the slice of pizza down on the plate. She got up and opened the cabinet over the refrigerator and got down a bottle of ambrosia.

"No, Kara. No! The lieutenant on the front desk will smell it on you when you check back in tonight. You'll be grounded for six weeks. You'll walk off demerits. Don't do it."

"I'm afraid I'm losing it."

Lee got up and put his arms around her. "You're not losing it, Kara."

"Do you love me enough to stick with me through this?"

"I love you enough to stick with you through anything."

Lee felt her relax in his arms. He breathed in the clean scent of her hair.

"I've got to go see Dreilide Thrace. I have to."

"I know."

"It doesn't mean I don't love my dad. Maybe he did have something to do with Dreilide leaving my mother and me, but I don't blame him. He loved my mother. He loves me. He said he wanted to be a father to me and she wouldn't let him. The night he brought me off Picon he told me that legally he had no right to me at all. I believe him. Maybe that's why he and Laura had Braedon…so he could be a real dad this time. Maybe it's all part of that karmic justice thing he talks about. There's good karmic justice, too. It's not all bad."

"I don't know if the universe operates on that kind of reward and punishment system, Kara. We make decisions in our lives. There are consequences. John and Laura had unprotected sex. That's where Braedon came from. I think it's a cop-out to blame it on fate or destiny or even karmic justice."

"I'm going to have some part in getting rid of the Cylons. It's my destiny. I've known it for a long time...even before I went to see the Oracle."

On their way back to the Academy, Kara suddenly wondered what would happen to Sharon and Leoben when the rest of the Cylons were destroyed. Would Commander Adama let them live? She pushed the thought from her mind. She would think about it later. She couldn't handle any more right now.

Lee walked with her to her dorm. They kissed before she went in.

"I'm here for you," he said. "I love you."

"I know. I love you, too."

Sharon was in her bunk with the lights out when Kara walked into the room. Quietly she opened her closet and got her flannel sleep pants and t-shirt from the shelf.

Sharon turned over. "Karl didn't take it too well."

"I didn't think he would."

"He left me there at the ice rink. I don't know where he went. I rode the subway back by myself."

"Did he make it back to the Academy?"

"I went to his dorm. He was there, but he wouldn't come downstairs."

"I'll go talk to him tomorrow."

"What are you going to say to him?"

"I don't know, Sharon. It depends on what he's got to say to me."

Kara shivered and got into her bunk and pulled the blankets up to her chin.

"Is he going to do anything?" She finally asked Sharon.

"Nobody's come for me yet."

"Karl cares about you. He may be freaked out right now, but he does have feelings for you."

"I love him."

Kara tried to imagine how a machine felt love. Maybe the Cylon's artificial intelligence was so good that Sharon had evolved or maybe it was just programming. She was too tired to think about it now. She would think about it later.

She closed her eyes.

"Get some sleep, Sharon. Things always look better in the morning. I'll talk to Karl tomorrow."

Sharon didn't say anything and Kara realized that she was crying. As Kara drifted into sleep, she was thinking about Cylon tears.

Did they taste like her own tears, salt like the ocean, like the beginning of life?