Pre-Wedding Celebrations

Two weeks later

"Jess," Luke says to me cautiously as he comes into the kitchen.

"Yeah," I reply looking up from the coco puffs box.

"I was thinking…" Luke falters. "Umm."

"What is it?" I ask Luke concerned.

"So, the wedding's this weekend," Luke states.

"Yeah," I reply. "I'm aware."

"Well, I was wondering if you would mind if I invited Liz," Luke says nervously. "It's just that it is my wedding and I really want Liz to be there, she is my sister after all. But if you have a problem with it or you don't…"

"Relax, Luke," I say trying to calm him down. "It's fine."

"Oh, good," Luke replies relieved.

"But tell her she can bring TJ," I say to Luke. "Okay?"

"Really?" Luke asks confused.

"Yeah," I respond. "We're going to have to get to know him sooner or later."

"Okay, I will," Luke says proudly.


"Do you know what today is?" Lorelai asks me excitedly as she comes into the diner with Rory.

"I don't know," I reply. "Wait, is it your hens night?" I ask in mock enthusiasm.

"Yeah," Lorelai says excitedly. "Give me coffee."

"Ooh, me too," Rory adds.

"Okay," I reply as I pour their coffee.

"So, what are you guys doing tonight?" Lorelai asks me. "Are you guys getting strippers?"

"I wish," I reply and Rory hits me in the arm. "No, you know Luke. He has some weird phobia of strippers," I reply. "But apparently TJ tried to convince him over the phone when he invited him to the wedding."

"So, how is that going?" Lorelai asks me concerned.

"It's good," I respond. "I'm working through it."

"Rory told me that you guys went to a renaissance fair the other day," Lorelai says.

"Yeah," Rory says excitedly. "That was our second one," Lorelai looks at her funny. "Hey," Rory defends. "They have good turkey legs."

"How about you Jess?" Lorelai asks. "Did you go for the turkey legs as well?"

"No," I reply. "I went for the people."

"Sure," Lorelai scoffs.

"No, it's true," Rory says. "Jess got attached to a couple of people from the first fair we went to."

"Well," I defend. "I just had to talk to Robert again and find out if strawberry Susan had told her husband about her affair with blueberry Bobby."

"And did she?" Lorelai asks intrigued.

"No," I reply. "But it turns out that her husband was also having an affair with blueberry bobby."

"What?" Lorelai asks confused.

"Blueberry Bobby is a woman," Rory clarifies. "I swear everyone there is related to each other somehow."

"They're probably all second cousins," I suggest.

"Oh," Lorelai says deflated. "Speaking of second cousins guess who's coming to the wedding."

"Who?" Rory asks confused.

"Your great grandmother," Lorelai explains. "Lorelai the first."

"Well, that should be fun," Rory replies sarcastically. "Did you even invite her?"

"No," Lorelai replies. "She was coming for her five yearly visit and it just happened to coincide with my wedding, unfortunately."

"Wait," Rory says in realization. "If Richard's going to Luke's buck's party and Emily's coming to your hen's party, where's Trix going to be?"

"Oh, no," Lorelai replies freaked out. "She wouldn't, would she?"

"I don't know," Rory replies. "But maybe you should cancel the strippers just in case."

"Great," Lorelai mumbles. "It's supposed to be my night."

"Wait," I say to Rory. "You're allowed to get strippers, but we're not."

"Yep," Rory replies as she grins at me.


"So, Luke," TJ says. "Where are we going for you buck's party tonight?"

"We're here," Luke responds.

"The diner?" TJ questions disappointed.

"Yeah," Luke replies. "I like my diner."

"Well, can you at least tell me when the strippers are coming?" TJ ask impatiently.

"They're not," Luke replies annoyed.

"That you know of," TJ replies.

"What did you do TJ!" Luke yells. "You better not have hired any strippers."

"Hey," I defend. "The girls are getting strippers, why can't we Uncle Luke?"

"Because you're underage," Luke responds.

"I'm 18," I reply. "Remember it was like a couple of weeks back, we had a party and all."

"Whatever," Luke says. "Who else is coming anyway?"

"Richard and Kirk," I reply.

"That's all?" Luke asks me.

"Maybe you should be nicer to people Luke," TJ supplies.

"Yeah, Luke," I agree. "I asked more townies, I even asked Taylor and he said no."

"What about Jackson or Andrew or Bootsy?" Luke asks me.

"They said they would come if they could make it," I explain.

"Hello, Luke, Jess," Richards says as he comes into the diner.

"Hey," We respond.

"Who's this?" Richard asks motioning towards TJ.

"That's deeply disturbed," I say to Richard. "Best if you keep your distance."

"I'm TJ," TJ says ignoring me. "I'm Luke's sister's boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you," Richard says as he grabs TJ's hand. "So, Luke…" Richard says walking over to Luke, leaving me alone with TJ.

"So, Jess," TJ begins. "I swear I've seen you before."

"Not that I remember," I lie. "And I'm pretty sure I would remember you."

"Maybe I'm mistaken," TJ replies. "Ever been to a renaissance fair?"

"Probably not," I reply. "Well, at least not on purpose."

"Ah," TJ says frustrated. "I'm going to work this out, you know."

"You do that," I reply.

Jackson, Bootsy and Andrew all come into the diner with refreshments.

"Finally," I say as I leave TJ and walk over to the trio. "What took you so long?"

"Kirk got his tongue stuck to the side of the freezer," Andrew explains.

"They had to call the fire brigade," Bootsy adds. "It was a big spectacle."

"So, where is Kirk," I ask them.

"They're bandaging up his tongue," Jackson responds. "I don't think that the medic has dealt with a frozen tongue before."

"I don't think that guy's even a medic," Andrew supplies.

"How could he not be," Bootsy argues. "He kept on saying the word stat. You don't use the word stat unless you're a doctor."

"I use that word all the time," TJ pipes up. "And do I look like a doctor to you?"

"No, you don't," The three reply.

"Hey guys," Luke says to them. "Glad you could make it. Richard, TJ this is Jackson, Bootsy and Andrew. Guys this is Lorelai's grandfather and Liz's boyfriend."

"Oooh, Liz," Bootsy says. "I remember the bleachers."

"You never went under the bleachers with Liz," Andrew argues. "That was me."

"It was neither of you," Luke interrupts. "You were both at my side trying to be cool."

"Luke, cool?" TJ questions.

"He was the star of the track and field team," Jackson answers sadly. "He had all the ladies."

"You're married," I remind Jackson. "To Sookie."

"Ah, right," Jackson says his mood picking up.

We had all cracked into the beer that Bootsy had brought. Luke even let me have one. Then Kirk comes into the diner.

"Hey Luke," Kirk says, well tries to say as he has a bandage around his tongue. "Sorry I'm late."

"Its fine," Luke replies as he hands Kirk a beer. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," Kirk replies as he opens up the bottle of beer and tries unsuccessfully to drink it without wetting his bandage.

"Here," Luke says as he grabs a straw from behind the counter and hands it to Kirk.

"Thanks," Kirk replies.

"I can't believe you," Lorelai says as they come towards the diner. "Ah, here they are," Lorelai says as she opens the door.

"What are you guys doing here," Patty asks.

"Luke's too cheap to take us somewhere else," TJ replies.

"TJ," Liz warns as she goes over to him. "Be nice."

"What are you all doing here anyway?" I ask the girls.

"Came to get snacks," Rory answers.

"Whoo! Snacks," Lorelai yells. "We're going over to Patty's studio."

"Great," I reply sarcastically. "How much has she had to drink?" I ask Rory.

"Oh, a little," Rory replies. "I think she's more high on life than alcohol, though."

"Hey, Luke," Lorelai says as she hugs him. "I love you."

"Yeah," Luke replies. "I love you, too."

"Let's take this party to Miss Patty's," Andrew suggests.

"Yeah," The crowd cheer and we all make our way across the street.

"Isn't this night supposed to represent the last night they have without each other?" I ask Rory confused.

"Yeah," Rory replies as she puts her arm around me. "I guess they just can't stay away from each other."

We walk into Miss Patty's and someone hits the music.

"Let's dance," Rory says to me.

"Nah," I reply as I lead her over to the back of the studio. "I don't feel like dancing," I add as I pull Rory down on top of me on the bean bags.

"Jess," Rory screeches.

"What?" I ask innocently as I play with her hair and watch Kirk trying to dance. "Hey, check it out," I say to Rory and motion towards Andrew and Gypsy.

"Come on Gypsy," Andrew pleads. "Dance with me."

"No, Andrew," Gypsy replies bitterly.

"But there's no one else," Andrew whines. "Liz has TJ, Luke has Lorelai, Richard has Emily, Sookie has Jackson, Patty has Bootsy, Kirk has himself, and Babette has Morey. I have no one."

"Fine, one dance," Gypsy relents. "But don't try and cop a feel."

"Where'd Morey come from?" I ask Rory watching them dance.

"He came with Babette," Rory explains. "Something about avoiding TJ."

"Ah," I say in realization. "So, where's Trix?"

"She couldn't come," Rory replies. "She said that she needed her beauty sleep, but she'll be here for the wedding though."

"Incoming," I say to Rory as TJ makes his way over.

"I knew it," TJ says triumphantly. "I knew that I knew you."

"Congratulations," I say sarcastically.

"You guys were at the fair in Vermont," TJ says excitedly. "And the one in Woodbridge."

"Okay," I relent. "You got us. We're turkey leg junkies."

"What?" TJ asks confused.

"Jess," Liz says carefully as she comes over to us.

"Hey," I reply.

"So, do you like TJ?" Liz asks hopefully.

"Yeah," I reply. "He's great in his own way, I guess."

"I've met them before," TJ says triumphantly.

'Really?" Liz asks confused.

"Yeah," TJ replies. "They were at the fair in Vermont. I caught them trying to get some turkey legs off Bob, but I steered them in the right direction."

"The day after your party," Liz says remembering.

"Yeah," I answer. "We went for a drive and ended up in Vermont."

"Did you see me?" Liz asks confused.

"Nah," I lie. "We weren't there for long. I just got Rory a turkey leg and then we left."

"Okay," Liz accepts not wanting to turn it into a fight. "Dance with me TJ."

"Okay," TJ says as he leads Liz onto the dance floor.


The party was slowly dying down. Richard and Emily left an hour into the party and went back to the inn. Babette and Morey had left after two and a half hours, apparently due to the party's lameness. Bootsy left some time ago and went to a strip club in Woodbridge, which TJ tried to unsuccessfully tag along to.

Andrew and Gypsy had been dancing closely for going on three hours now. Kirk finally decided to remove his bandage from his tongue and immediately put an ice cube on it, which of course stuck to his tongue, so he left to go find the doctor. TJ was wasted, whilst Liz was surprisingly sober. Patty was passed out on the piano bench.

Luke and Lorelai were heavily drunk and never left each other's side all night. Whilst Rory and I hadn't moved from the beanbag, since the party began.

"Dance with me Jess," Rory pleads. "Please."

"I don't want to lose our seats," I whine.

"Fine, I'll dance by myself," Rory says as she gets off of me and true to her word begins dancing by herself.

Kirk comes back to the party, re bandaged up, and immediately heads across the dance floor towards Rory, I quickly jump to my feet.

"Hey," I say as I put my arms around Rory.

"You came," Rory says happily.

"Yeah," I reply. "I couldn't let you dance alone now could I?"

"That's sweet," Rory says.

"Well, that and Kirk was heading your way," I add.

"Okay, so not as sweet as I previously thought," Rory says. "But you had good intentions, I hope."

"Always," I reply.

"Take your shirt off," Andrew yells at TJ.

"Yeah," Gypsy agrees, who is still glued to Andrew's side.

"Whoo!" TJ screams as he begins to remove his shirt.

"Oh god," I say as I turn Rory away from TJ.

"TJ," Liz hisses. "Put your shirt back on."

Liz was the only sober one of the lot, well apart from Rory and me. I still wasn't used to sober Liz yet.

"Why?" TJ replies.

"Umm…" Liz says as she grabs TJ off the stage. "We're going to go back to the inn before he loses his pants."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Jess," Liz says as she drags TJ passed us.

"Turkey legs!" TJ yells at Rory. "Whoo!"

"Well, that was eventful," Rory says.

"And extremely disturbing," I add. "Oh look, there goes Gypsy and Andrew together and willingly."

"Maybe they can finally resolve their unresolved sexual tension," Rory suggests.

I raise my eyebrow at Rory that was the last thing I expected to hear from her.

"Who dares me to put an ice cube on my tongue?" Kirk yells, but no one answers. "Okay, I'll do it…. Oh no!" Kirk says realizing what he has done and runs out of the studio.

"Will he ever learn?" Rory asks me.

"I highly doubt it," I reply. "So, then there was four."

"I can't believe everyone's gone," Rory says. "It's only just after midnight."

"Well, that's Stars Hollow for you," I reply. "Taylor couldn't even come because the party started at nine."

"I still can't believe my mom's getting married," Rory says as she rests her head on my chest. "And to Luke of all people."

"Yeah," I reply running my hand through Rory's hair.

"Have you written your best man speech yet?" Rory asks me.

"No," I reply. "You?"

"I've been working on it for months," Rory explains. "Why haven't you started?"

"I'm going to wing it," I reply. "The best speeches come from the heart."

"You're so full of it," Rory says as she looks me in the eyes. "You're just too lazy to put any effort into it."

"But the best speeches come from the heart," I reply sarcastically.