December 16, 2007

Over four months had passed since the day in Dallas that changed the world forever. As the Christmas season approached and with it, more snow and freezing temperatures, the residents of the safe house continued on with their lives like nothing had happened and they had not been instrumental in this second turning point. Letters had been exchanged back and forth between them and the remaining team, most of them already settled in various parts of the newly-developed United States. The boundaries transformed back to its former glory and the military convened as a group power, delegating tasks as the Black Serpents had done before them.

It was a relief. As Danielle sat by the window with a cup of coffee and Jay's latest letter early one morning, she thought back to those times and shivered. It wasn't just the cold that was bothering her. It was her personal life. She felt she had no direction anymore and watching everyone around her blossom under the new administration and get on with their lives was disconcerting. Xavier told her not to worry and that her time will come, but Danielle doubted it regardless of the positive outcomes yet to show themselves, especially as the snow fell and the wind picked up outside her window.

She felt especially alone, even if Devon was always giving her attention. Michael and Riley had not been found yet, although Magneto had sent word every so often, telling her what he was doing and why. He had traveled to all of the known places Ellis had hidey holes, he wrote in one letter, and was following someone who used to be in his cabinet to others that nobody knew about. It made Danielle shudder to think that they had not been fast enough and had hardly the time to see to two children under the age of ten. Worse, they could be wandering the country in search of her, a horrible thought that she had to turn aside.

There was also her love life. Ever since Logan departed from their company as soon as they returned to Canada, she felt like somebody had ripped a large part of her heart out and stomped on it with glee. She had been hoping that he would come to terms with what had happened and they would reconcile. However, he said nothing on the trip back with Roger (even as the master spy griped about hotheaded people who undergo illegal activities) and had disappeared as soon as they rolled into the driveway. He had not been seen or heard from ever since.

Trying to blink back her tears, Danielle glanced back at Jay's words, so full of hope and happiness. He and Fiona had been living together in a little house in Westchester, rented out to them by a kind official of the area, and were making plans to rebuild the farmhouse in Salem Center. He loved being closer to home, away from the base and being free from the memories of a broken family, his dishonorable discharge and much more. He and Fiona were also filling each other with stories of their past without the other and making up for lost time.

You have no idea, little sister, how glad we are to be here and to move forward. However, there's always one thing wedged between us, something that I cannot even write of now. I think we'll get there one day, when we're ready and eager to recall a life that we had to leave behind. I would very much wish to see – well, I'll tell you later.

And the letter went on and on about inane things, especially with the lack of snow and cold and how walks in the woods transformed into pleasant hours (no sorrows) with Fiona. Danielle again had to force herself not to cry with jealousy and despair. She knew what Jay and Fiona had been missing. It was Jax, taken away as a baby and never seen afterward. They had no paper trail as to where he was taken. Danielle did not think that Ellis would have had the child killed, especially before he rose to his fullest powers, but she believed that he hid Jax as far away as he could and with a family that did not care about him.

Hank and Roger's sudden entry into the house merited some attention. Danielle did not see it as aspiring, although she knew them to be looking for Logan and that their search ended without results. Their long trip to Quebec and back might have yielded some information though and that was a little encouraging. Indeed, the way the two looked made Danielle think that they had something to lead on and that it was a good sign. Roger had been pulling out what had been left of his hair otherwise, annoyed that Logan ran off like he did again.

Again…

"Where's Charles?" Hank asked Danielle.

"In his office, I would assume," Danielle replied crisply, tucking Jay's message away in her pocket. She would revisit the old wounds later. "Why?"

"Because he doesn't need to know at the moment," Roger answered instead, shucking off his winter gear by a nearby chair. "I think you should."

The statement made Danielle shudder. "What do you need me for?"

"Nothing unusual," Hank reassured her. "We only want to talk to you alone."

Danielle felt boxed in and cornered, extremely still in her seat as a deer caught in the headlights. "What about?"

"Logan."

"What about him?"

"It seems he ran into some trouble with the Canadian government. Nothing serious. He just needs someone to vouch for him so he can be released from his cell."

"What did he do? Why can't you and Roger do it?"

Roger interjected this time, ignoring the first question, she noticed. "Seems like our word isn't enough to get him out. He also will not listen to us anyway."

"And my word is good? My powers the only way out?" Danielle snapped, feeling frustrated and used. "I'm the widow of an infamous dictator and a mutant, no less. What makes the Canadian government think that I'm the best there is?"

"Because they understand your circumstances," Hank explained gently, hoping that Xavier was not listening in the other room. "Technically, you are innocent of all charges the US military and the people have made against you. To them up here, your word is more than golden."

"What kind of charges are we talking about? What have I done to merit them?"

"Too numerous to count, Danielle. Just calm down and listen because that is not the point. Now, you're going to have to travel to Quebec with us. Logan is held in a cell at their main municipal building. Talk to him and the person in charge and voila! He will be freed."

"What exactly did he do?"

Roger grimaced at the repeated inquiry, but Danielle also saw a smirk run across his face. "We'll leave that for later."

Danielle sighed. She was tired of running and traveling. For four months, she had led a peaceful existence, filled with days longing for her sons and Logan, playing with Devon, discussions with Xavier and even card games with various people in the household. She, Jean and Storm had even rekindled their friendship and used night after night to talk and catch up. She and Scott already got into their first argument since the last time they saw each other (Scott had managed to get hung on the ceiling by his back shirt collar, much to everyone's chagrin). Mae even wormed her way back to Danielle's graces, begging time and again for her to slow down and to settle in.

It was never the finale, especially in the prime of her life, she knew. She was promised a home and would return to the US in due time. However, even she, a mother by nature and assassin by training, had to be patient. Logan was just another hurdle and one that she had to go over in order to find closure, no matter the outcome. What other choice did she have other than to accept this next assignment and to get over it? How else would life go on if she was not used in some manner or another?

"I take it that this is an assent?" Hank was optimistic.

"Well, I can't exactly deny," Danielle admitted. "I'm up for grabs these days and nobody likes to leave me alone in peace."

Roger was visibly relieved. "Tomorrow morning we go?"

"Can Devon come with me?" Danielle was not leaving him behind again. She wished for some companionship that didn't include adults and would have her focus attention on a child. Otherwise, Devon would be devastated she would not be around.

"Do we have to bring –" Roger began tartly.

Hank put a hand over Roger's mouth to quiet him. "Yes. We'd be more than honored to have Devon tag along. I'm sure there are teenagers his age he can hang out with."

When Hank moved his hand, it was apparent that Roger was angry. Danielle suppressed a laugh, instead watching as the master spy decided to shot Hank a dirty glance before leaving for his room. Hank shrugged his shoulders and did the same, although the backwards gaze at her was a little reassuring and told her that all would be well. While Danielle tended to disagree with the sentiment, her heart was racing. A chance to see Logan was one that she wanted, but she was also dreading it at the same time.

She could ask herself why many times over and could not answer it. The only one she had was that she was still in love with him and she could never let go. That was the best her mind could come up with…and that alone now becoming the worst feeling of her life.

~00~

Despite the early morning wake-up and traveling, the trip to Quebec was eventless. The four trekkers – Roger, Hank, Danielle and Devon – arrived at the police station in Quebec City, choosing a taxi from the train station rather than walking through the subzero temperatures and snow that caked the city. They were deposited at their location and entered the building. Next, they were identified and directed to a downstairs interrogation room. Devon soon became bored, so Danielle managed to get a friendly officer to give up their computer for gaming purposes.

This left her with Roger and Hank. When they settled into their destination, they took seats around a metal table, waiting for their negotiator. When Sanders entered, Danielle relaxed, but only a little. Seeing the lieutenant after a few months was familiar, albeit strange. Why Sanders had business in Canada, she could not tell, but he seemed to be Logan's guardian angel if his finger was in every piece of pie.

Great…

"Gentlemen," Sanders began as he took the chair opposite of the trio. "Mrs. Ellis."

Danielle wasted no time getting to the bottom of the issue. "What's happened?"

"Does the name of Victor Creed ring a bell with anyone?" Sanders asked instead, eying the three severely and accusingly.

Roger dared to put himself forward, clearing his throat. "I tracked Sabretooth – Victor Creed – over the years and lost him when the Ellis fiasco began in the late eighties. What's he got to do with the price of rice in China?"

"Just a troublemaker, nothing more." Sanders' answer seemed an understatement and that the person in question was their main interest. "He and…Logan…destroyed a farm north of here. They were not working together, more like fighting each other. The results were devastating, mostly caused by Creed. A couple and their children had been killed. Their far was torched and salted."

"Brothers," Roger muttered under his breath.

"Exactly," Sanders said, hearing what the master spy mumbled. "This Creed character has yet to be caught, but his brother was. Logan isn't exactly charged with anything. He's in timeout, if you want to call it that."

Hank had to mask a laugh with a cough. "So, you're holding Logan here until you find Creed?"

"Or at least release him to his friends, who are more likely to keep him under control." Sanders smiled, especially at Danielle. "Can't be too careful, even if he was considered a part of the government program some years back."

"Which one?" Danielle was curious.

Roger was about to say something and had muttered the name of William Stryker, but Sanders cut him off before more details spilled out, nodding at him and Hank to clear out of the room. "A word alone, Mrs. Ellis."

Danielle agreed, even if she did not trust the situation. When she did not have company with Sanders anymore, she leaned forward, hands folded together. "So, Lieutenant, Why did you truly need me? You could have just used Roger and be done with it."

"And have the infamous spy be mauled on his way out?" Sanders hooted his merriment. "Mrs. Ellis, you're hilarious and a real trip."

"That's bad?" Danielle's heart sank.

"A pacing and wild animal," Sanders confirmed. "We figured, with your powers and your personal association with this Logan person, you could possibly get him out safely before he hurts more of my men. He's not under arrest, but he's kept captive to prevent him from hurting."

"Himself or the others?"

"All of the above, I'm afraid. Like I said, he has gotten a few of men here good with his adamantium claws, which we can all thank William Stryker for. He can't…well, you probably know he can't exactly do anything to kill himself."

Danielle nodded evenly, understanding. "When can I see him?"

Sanders motioned to the door. Danielle took that as her cue, allowing the lieutenant to take the lead and take her down odd dark hallways and stairwells. In what seemed to be forever (and sometimes with some stumbling over old and out of place items), Danielle was soon stopped before a metal doorway, bearing deeply-etched claw marks, made from the outside and in. Sanders unlocked it and ushered her inside, leaving her in there alone and turning the key to lock it again. He had managed to open a small hole though, his eyes watching the action.

Danielle adjusted her eyesight since the room had been brighter compared to the corridors she had ambled through. Once she did, she realized that she had been pushed into what was literally a lion's den. While Logan was not quite as ferocious as one, he was still menacing, what had been his pacing stopped and his claws out. He sniffed the air, testing to see what kind of threat was now in his domain, and inched forward slowly towards Danielle.

It was safer to assume that Logan was out of his mind and did not recognize anyone, the way his hair ran wild, his body shackled for survival and his eyes aimlessly observed without thinking. Danielle immediately placed a silver and blue bubble between her and Logan, jerking back in horror and almost losing her control as he rushed to her and tried stabbing it again and again, shaking his head as he was zapped. Through the thick electric-tinted cover, she could hear him roaring in frustration, unable to comprehend why he was able to harm others and not this one person.

Think, think, think! What would the Professor and Jean do?

It was an inquiry and a good one at that. She was not sure what Xavier or Jean would have done in this case because it was a difficult decision to call and one that she did not relish making. There was no way to defeat Logan physically, that much was certain. However, she could deactivate the animal side of his mind and have him become putty in her hands. That way, it would be an easier road to bring him back his humanity, even though it would violate all morale codes she grew up with.

Danielle had to pull from a well of energy from Jay, something that alarmed him. While he tried his best to tell her off and say that it wasn't worth it to save Logan (since he himself was still recovering and might not have enough), she managed to channel the power from him to her and then to Logan. Her concentration was difficult though, puzzling over which pathway in Logan's mind to follow as she held onto her own protective bubble at the same time.

Xavier had been right, Danielle mused as she worked. The human mind (other than one's own, which was complex itself) was that of a maze, with so many twists and turns and dead ends, most of them unresolved problems or memories. Feeling overwhelmed, she tried delegating whose power went where and relaxed. While she held onto the bubble with her own energy, she used Jay's to navigate, soon reaching the point where she needed to be. It was a small part of Logan that transformed him into a monster, time and again. A simple flip of a switch would change it.

Exhausted after the ordeal, she dropped her defenses and made her way out and released Jay, closing her eyes. This allowed Logan in surprise to drop his full weight on top of her, which was no feat since the metal in his body maintained that he remained very heavy. The open claws hit both sides of her head, ensuring that she was trapped, and he groaned in her ear as his head hit hers, feeling just as breathless as she was. Even between the two, the atmosphere was still and silent. Nobody moved, not even Sanders, who was still observing through the peephole in the door.

Once Danielle had recovered enough, she tried pushing Logan off of her, but was unable to. Deciding to open her eyes to assess the damage and try harder, she attempted once more to shove him off of her. There was no way. Claws soon retracted, Logan had already slumped himself against her body, hiding against her shoulder as his face planted itself into the thick fabric.

At first, Danielle could not tell what was happening, she was so dazed and dizzy. However, it was too easy to see that Lohan was emotionally spent. Her wet shirt was proof of that.

~00~

Christmas and come and gone and a New Year was soon upon the group. As they found themselves barricaded into their house on the last day of the year, a circle formed around the holiday tree they set up in the middle of the living room. As the children drifted off to sleep and the adults chatted and laughed, waiting for the clock to strike the long-awaited hour of midnight, Danielle had to think. She sipped some coffee, talking animatedly with Jean and Ororo next to her, and pushed back her morbid thoughts, most of them revolving around the man who was missing and currently isolating himself in the basement once more.

"What are you planning for the New Year?" Ororo was curious.

"Enrolling the children in an actual school maybe," Jean replied smoothly, finishing her hot chocolate with a slurp that made her sound childish. "I believe that we'd be stuck here for another year unless something changed. Scott and I need to make alternative plans otherwise, maybe sticking around here and homeschooling."

Mae joined in on the conversation, feeling unusually jolly. "Get another job. Become a sound member of the community. Kick my son out."

"I want to see more of Canada and get Matthew out of the house," Ororo added when the two looked at her. "I think it would help us immensely."

"Danielle?" Jean nudged the forlorn woman at the side. "What about you?"

"Huh?" Danielle put her cup down on the table, her hand still on the handle. "Well, there's so much I want to do. I think I'll leave that to your imaginations though."

Danielle then got up and started cleaning up the mess around the tree, all the while blocking anyone from knowing her inner turmoil. She smiled, laughed and nodded otherwise, trying to act as normally as she could, but all the while, her heart was breaking. There was still no word about Michael and Riley and most certainly no change in Logan. The help was offered. Nothing was progressing or moving forward and no letters had brought any good news.

She thought that this upcoming year would change nothing. In her first five months of freedom, most certainly everything had stayed the same except for a small ray of sunshine. The only consolation – her hope – was that she had Devon, a growing teenager that was filling her time with love and her mind with ease. Even his sleeping form on the couch was reassuring, a sign of the innocence that she wished she had.

With an expert waitressing hand, Danielle managed to grab everyone's plates and mugs and brought them to the sink in the kitchen. She continued on her route towards normalcy still, turning on the water and starting to scrub them. All the while, she pondered upon the future and what it would bring her, just as Ororo asked. She only wished that it would exceed her expectations, but those had been low. She could not expect much else.

And with so few things to look forward to, what was her life for anyway? And why should she have bothered?