Right now I'm thinking about if you guys knew the names I gave these documents. Some of them are pretty weird...
Some examples:
The Fitz/Wylie one is named: Fitz x Wylie: Lol torture.
Foskets is callled: The woes of pocketlessness.
Brappiness is called: Torturing Bronte.
Alden/Worries is called: nO rEaSoN tO wOrRy.
Keefe/Hair is called: NOT THE HAIR! ~Lord Hunkyhair.
This document is called "Alvar? Yucky."
Idk why I'm thinking about this. I just thought it would probably entertain you.
L: Thank you! Yeah, probably, but since when is my story AT ALL similar to canon? Yeah, I guess. Hmm... thank Shannon for Tam and Linh.
Country-Fangirl: Um... *grabs pencil* I'M ARMED! DON'T KILL ME! Thanks! And yes, the face punching. Honestly, you'd think someone would BLOCK eventually. *Sighs in disgust even though I wrote it.*
LunaLovegood397: Thanks! Hmm... THIS CHAPTER SAYS OTHERWISE! Yes it is. Because they're boys, duh.
Stargirl020: Thank you so much!
DangerousPie1: Someone understands me! Thanks! I'll give you a tip: Think of the dumbest possible thing a character could say. Then make them say it. That's how I write this story.
Keephie-13: Thanks! Of course there will be more/ THAR WILL BE OAR (A hilarious typo from the one and only Glitterbutt23).
Enjoy "Alvar? Yucky." This chapter is dedicated to LunaLovegood397 for her hardcore Alvrik (Alvar x Terik) shipping, as that is truly the inspiration for this chapter.
Alvar: Hold on. Are you calling me yucky?
Me: Yeah. So? It's true.
Alvar: So many negative adjectives and you go with YUCKY!? I'm offended.
Me: Fine. How about revolting? Repellent, repulsive, sickening, nauseating, nauseous, stomach-churning, stomach-turning, off-putting, unpalatable, unappetizing, uninviting, unsavory, distasteful, foul, nasty, obnoxious, odious; vomitous; informalyucky, icky, gross, sick-making, gut-churning, offensive, appalling, outrageous, objectionable, displeasing, shocking, horrifying, scandalous, monstrous, unspeakable, shameless, shameful, vulgar, gross, vile, wicked, odious, heinous, abhorrent, loathsome, obnoxious, detestable, hateful, sickening, contemptible, despicable, deplorable, abominable, execrable, unforgivable, unpardonable, inexcusable, intolerable, insupportable, egregious... any of these good enough for you?
Alvar: Nerd.
Me: Thanks! Now, Glitterbutt23 is not here because she is approximately 4,500 miles from where I am typing this. So I get to torture Alvar all by myself!
Alvar: Hold on. Torture?
Me: Yep! We're going to be talking...
*Dramatic music*
Me: About...
*Dramatic music*
Me: YOUR LOVE LIFE!
Alvar: Oh, we're going to be here for a WHILE.
Me: Let's start with Terik.
Alvar: *Scoffs* Terik? Who's Terik.
Me: *Snaps fingers*
Terik: ALVAR! Hey bro, wassup?
Alvar: *Stage whispers* I'm PRETENDING I don't KNOW YOU.
Terik: Oh sorry Alvar. I just figured we were here for a date, with her as a creepy stalker- HEY! I remember you! You were the one who revealed me to the council!
Me: Oh yeah.
Alvar: Okay fine we know each other. But we aren't dating!
Me: THIS NOTE BEGS TO DIFFER!
Note: I differ. Please?
Me: Um... that means you say otherwise.
Note: Oh. "Hey Terik. How's life, bro? Thanks for telling them I wasn't evil! Haha that was funny! They actually fell for it! Lol. Next Neverseen meeting on Tuesday! XOXO Alvar."
Me: EXPLAIN!
Alvar: Oh I always sign notes XOXO. Like, my RSPV for this interrogation.
Me: *Reads note* "Dear S-" Uh, I mean, Fangirl. "Sounds dreadful. I can't wait! XOXO Alvar" And yes, readers, I do schedule these in advance... sometimes. And I'm burning this. *Lights fire with author powers* Just watch it all... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Alvar: Hey that's rude.
Me: So anyway, spill. Are you two dating?
Terik: Yes, actually, we are.
Alvar: We are?
Terik: Yes, we are.
Alvar: No we aren't.
Me: OOOOOOOOOOH! DRAMA! *Starts eating popcorn* (AN: My little sister is eating popcorn right now and it smells so good and now I'm craving it and yeah I stole some.)
Terik: Yes we are.
Alvar: No, we WERE.
Terik: ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?!
Alvar: Terik, we've been dating for three whole hours. You can't expect me to commit to much longer.
Terik: Alvar! I thought what we has was true love!
Me: *Kinda wants to throw up from the disgustingness of Alvrik but still eating popcorn* (Update: I just got some of my own popcorn. :))
Alvar: Sorry Terik. That's how I roll.
Me: Alvar's a player? Well I suppose it's to be expected by the fact that he had three girlfriends at a time. Those poor women.
Alvar: Maybe in a few days I'll decide I like you again and then we'll date for about a day until I find someone better. Then, a few days later, I break up with that person and repeat.
Terik: Okay, cool. Bye! *Light leaps away*
Me: Up next: Alvar and Ruy. Ralvar. Clearly the best Alvar ship. I mean, they're both so stupid! *Snaps fingers*
Ruy: What?
Me: I'm shipping you with Alvar.
Ruy: Ew, Alvar.
Alvar: Ew, Ruy.
Me: Aww, it's a match made in exile!
Ruy: I LOVE YOU ALVAR!
Alvar: I LOVE YOU TOO RUY! FOR THE NEXT FEW HOURS AT LEAST!
Ruy: BRO HUG!
Alvar: Bro hug? I thought we were dating!
Ruy: Well I'm less committed than you are. My relationships tend to last around three seconds.
Alvar: Omg that's so hot.
Ruy: Omg I love you Alvar. I love you so much that the two of us will last more than a minute!
Alvar: Woah, really? *Tears up* That means so much to me.
Me: *Gagging and yet STILL enjoying the popcorn*
Ruy: *Checks watch* Wow, two whole minutes. This really was a great relationship, but I'm afraid it has to end. I'll never forget you, Alvar.
Alvar: I'll never forget you either, Ruy! Bro hug?
Ruy: Nah. Couple hug. I like you again.
Me: *Done with popcorn* OKAY THAT'S IT! RUY GO AWAY!
Ruy: Good bye, my love! Actually wait no now we're just friends. Never mind.
Me: GO! AWAY! BEFORE! I! USE! MY! AUTHOR! POWERS!
Ruy: *Light leaps away*
Me: Let's see, who else... Hmm... who do I love to torture? *Light bulb actually appears above my head* WYLIE!
Wylie: Oh no. No you do not. I will not agree to this. *Light leaps away*
Me: Well that worked. I guess we're done here.
LunaLovegood397, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. You other peoples too. Happy summer and please review!
