22nd of First Seed 4E203

"The time has come to decide Mercer's fate."

Karliah's words spun in Kaiya's head, making her dizzy. For a moment, she worried that she would topple off the side of the platform where they stood in the center of the cistern. This conversation was destined to happen, but no amount of preparation could have readied Kaiya for it. In a way, deciding Mercer's fate was deciding her own.

"Brynjolf, until a new Guildmaster is chosen, that decision falls to you." Karliah spoke with authority, bristling Kaiya's already frayed nerves.

"Aye lass, and I've come to a decision." Brynjolf spoke sadly, foreshadowing the decision he had yet to utter.

Kaiya's dizziness worsened. Was it hot in here? Was this not moving too fast? Before she could stop herself, words lept from her mouth. "Does no one else have a say in this decision, Bryn?" She cringed at how pleading her voice sounded in her ears.

For a moment, Kaiya could have sworn she saw Brynjolf wince. His eyes were cast downward, unable to meet her questioning stare. He didn't have to say a word for Kaiya to know exactly what he had decided. The realization caused her stomach to plummet to her feet.

"Mercer Frey tried to kill you and Karliah, he betrayed the Guild, murdered Gallus… and he broke your heart, lass." Brynjolf finally dared to bring his eyes to face Kaiya as she stood facing him, mouth agape. "He made us question our future, you probably most of all. He needs to die."

He needs to die.

Although she had expected this decision, the words spoken aloud crashed into her like a warhammer. For a moment, she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her eyes jumped from Brynjolf to Karliah, both wearing a look of pity for her. She hated pity. Without realizing what she was doing, she bent forward and placed her hands on her knees to try to steady her breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Come on Kai. Inhale. Exhale.

"I'm so sorry, lass. It was a difficult decision, but it was one I had to make. You know that." Brynjolf pleaded with her to understand. They couldn't afford division between them on this. She had to understand.

"Just give me a minute, Bryn." Kaiya's voice was cracked with emotion.

She fought her rising temper, her instinct to defend. Kaiya had always been a loyal friend, one who would disembowel another for even thinking of hurting one she considered "hers." Her mind was unused to the cognitive dissonance it was being asked to accept. "MINE" her heart screamed at her, reminding her that Mercer was one of the names on her list of people she would defend to the death. She breathed in slowly, willing logic to battle the instinct inside her. He had betrayed them. He had murdered one of their own. Was the rest of the Guild not on that list? Would she not have killed anyone who betrayed Delvin? Slaughtered any who thought to harm Brynjolf? It was as if she were standing in the destroyed sanctuary all over again, Blade of Woe in her hand, being asked to slay the woman who brought destruction on her family. She had done it then without pause. What was different about this?

She knew the answer to her own question. The only difference was her and her damn emotions. She couldn't stand in her own way to protect her new family. There would be no redemption for her if she stood in the way of defending the Guild. With wobbly legs, she stood back up and ran a trembling hand through her hair.

"I know," she croaked out. "He has to die."

A hand was placed on her shoulder for comfort, but she couldn't bring herself to pay attention to who it belonged to. Her eyes gazed into the distance, locking onto nothing in particular. The conversation continued on without her. She heard "Nightingales" and some mention of Nocturnal. Brynjolf seemed surprised. They began to make preparations for the next step, all while Kaiya continued to stare. She couldn't bring herself to look away from the water gushing from the pipes above her, cascading down the wall and crashing into the pool below them. More water. More churning. The sound was bombarding her ears the more she let it in, but she wanted it in. Wanted it to wash away the chaos in her head.

"Kaiya, can you do that?" Karliah's voice snapped Kaiya's attention back to the conversation with a jolt.

"Do what?" she said, although her eyes still felt as though they were floating. With a shake, she brought her focus back to the purple eyes of the Dunmer before her.

"Meet us at the standing stones outside of town in the morning?" Karliah continued on with directions on how to get there and what time to meet as Kaiya mentally mapped it out in her head. She knew of the stones.

"Yes, I'll be there."

Karliah gave her a small smile and a nod before turning to walk away, leaving Kaiya alone with Brynjolf in the center of the cistern. He grabbed her shoulder, turning her to face him as he bent down to make his eyes level with hers. "It's going to be okay, lass" he promised, although he sounded unsure. "We're going to get through this."

Kaiya nodded, not knowing what to say. What choice did she have but to get through this? She would be okay like she always was. Broken, battered, cracked into shards, but still pressing on. One day it would all be too much and she would finally be ground into powder, but now she stood. She'd continue on until that day came.

"Go to the Flagon. Get some food, have a drink and for the love of all that is holy, get some sleep lass." He ordered with a crooked smile, trying his damndest to bring her out of her own head.

She nodded again and felt her lips twitch as she tried to return a fraction of his smile.

"Come on, I'll walk with you" he said into her ear as he wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders. He steered her to the Flagon before sitting her at a table with Delvin and ordering her a mead and some dinner. When she had taken her first bite of seared slaughterfish, Brynjolf nodded in appreciation and retreated back to the cistern, no doubt to do some more planning.

Delvin said nothing, just took a sip from his tankard as he watched her slowly make her way through her dinner. When she would slow, he would nod towards her food, encouraging her to continue.

"We're going to kill him, Delvin."

Her words were spoken softly, but they conveyed everything she felt. Her eyes met his, searching for something he could not identify.

"Aye," he forced out in response. "His fate was chosen when he fled from that tomb, love."

"I know," Kaiya agreed as she looked into her tankard. "Still sucks."

The corner of Delvin's lips twitched into a half smile at her words. "That's the truest thing you've ever said."

She couldn't help but mirror his smile in response. Although she was still famished, the food in front of her held no appeal. She picked at it with her fingers, trying to force herself to continue.

"I know that slaughterfish in front of you may as well be a boot for how appealin' it is right now, but you need to eat it." Delvin nudged the plate towards her with another sad smile. "It may be the last meal you get in a while."

"Last meal," Kaiya let out a humorless chuckle. "Fitting."

Delvin stayed quiet, merely letting the heavy words she spoke sink into air around them. As word of the decision to kill Mercer began to make its way through the cistern, more thieves found their way to the Flagon. The atmosphere was somber, a miasma of sadness and anger so thick it seemed to permeate their skin and get caught in their leathers. Without a word, each member of the guild ended up sitting around with a tankard of mead, a silent show of solidarity in their misery.

It was one thing for them to angrily proclaim that Mercer would die at their hands in a number of creative ways when his betrayal was discovered, but it was another to actually plan on doing it. To actively plan and set out with the sole intention of ending the life of their Guildmaster. Some of the thieves picked at food that sat in front of them, sharing in what Kaiya had deemed the "last meal." Others seemed content staring into tankards of mead.

Vex took up the chair between Kaiya and Delvin, joining them as they stared at the table. Delvin reached out and placed a comforting hand on Vex's knee in what was probably their first show of public affection, although no one paid it any mind. They had each other and in times like this, reasons for secrecy paled in the need of a little comfort.

As the night set in, the thieves began to make their way to their beds, one by one, as quietly as they had entered. As each thief left the Flagon, they made sure to walk past Kaiya, giving her shoulder a squeeze or a gentle hand on her arm. No words needed to be spoken to communicate the message they were sending: Good luck. I'm sorry this falls to you. We'll be here when you come back. Each touch caused moisture to build in Kaiya's eyes, but tears never fell. This was not the time for them. This was the time for her to share a bit of her fractured soul with her fellow guild members. Her friends. Her family.

Before long, the Flagon was empty except for Delvin, Vex and Kaiya. Vekel had left moments before, one arm tightly wrapped around Tonilia's waist as they made their way to their bed for the night. Kaiya found herself so incredibly jealous of the thieves that wouldn't be alone tonight. She was dreading sleeping alone.

Delvin and Vex stood to leave but still, no one spoke. Vex squeezed both of her shoulders as she passed and Delvin leaned down to kiss her head before they made their way to their bed. Minutes passed while she continued staring into her tankard of mead. To her surprise, it was still almost full. She hadn't even come close to finishing a single drink. She looked around and for the first time, realized no one else remained in the Flagon. Her mind drifted to the days in which she would wait for this hour each night, hoping for moments alone with her Guildmaster. Now she sat by herself with only her tankard of mead for company.

Kaiya was alone and she didn't want to be anymore.

Silently, Kaiya stood and slowly stumbled towards the room where the leaders of the guild slept. Delvin and Vex were cuddled up in one bed, soft breathing indicating that they were both asleep. Her eyes scanned the room until she found what she was looking for. She approached the bed and lifted the furs before sliding in next to the warm body that laid there, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"Come here, lass" Brynjolf crooned, wrapping his arm around her small frame and enveloping her in his warmth. Head on his chest and hand over his heart, she slowly let her tired and achy body relax into him. She was so tired. Brynjolf's fingers ran through her hair, soothing her racing thoughts until they quieted enough that she could rest. As she listened to the steady rhythm of his breathing and felt the beating of his heart beneath her hand, her eyes shuttered closed and she finally, for the first time in days, drifted off to sleep.