Okay, Let's Talk

"You sure you're up for this?" Elizabeth asked as she walked out of their bathroom.

"For Cody's game? Of course. I feel bad I've missed so many." He'd already changed into his jeans and dark grey shirt. His hair still a bit of a mess from their nap in the hammock. It was an adorable look on him.

"Alright." She smiled, grabbing a shirt from the closet, pulling it over her head. It was loose but it hugged a bit around her belly. She decided to wear her long sleeve crimson tunic and black leggings to the game. Jack sat watching her lovingly as always, even with his still tired eyes. She looked over at him, unsure still if going out was a good idea.

"I'm okay, beautiful. I promise."

"I know. I just want to be sure. You had a rough night last night."

"It just happened. We'll take it day by day. I can handle a night out at a community baseball field watching a group of kids with our friends."

She had her back to him now as she stood in front of the mirror putting in her favorite set of small hoop earrings. Even from behind he could see her body tense. His words had come out a little stronger than he had intended. Standing, he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth." He called her by her name instead of a term of endearment, conveying his sincerity. "Right now, all I know is I want to spend the evening with you whether that be at the game or here. Are you up for this? We can stay in tonight. I just want to be where you are."

"No. I want to go. Really." She turned to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I was just concerned about it being too much for you."

"I appreciate that. I'm sorry I was so short. Honestly, getting the heck off this post for a few hours sounds great to me right now." He stepped back to roll up his sleeves and grab his Red Sox ball cap off the dresser. "Ready, beautiful?"

"Ready." He was back to normal. Or at least acting like it. She knew better, better than to push too hard just yet anyway. There was more that needed to be said though. That'd just have to find the time.

After feeding Rip, they locked up the house and headed outside.

"My Jeep or your car?" Jack asked.

She shrugged. "You love the Jeep, lets take that."

"Alright." Taking her hand he led her over and opened the door for her, helping her inside. Once inside, he leaned in, kissing her soft, pink lips lovingly. "I know we need to talk about it. After we get home from the Hogan's, how about you and me curl up with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and talk?"

"You'll talk? Like really talk about how you're feeling?"

"I will. I promise." As he stepped away she took his hand pulling him in for a hard, passionate kiss. "Wow. What was that for, Mrs. Thornton?" He laughed.

"I love you. Thank you. I needed to know you weren't shutting me out."

"Never. I'm having a hard time, but I promised you I wouldn't do that and I meant it."

"I love you, Captain Thornton."

"I love you back.."

At the park, Frank, Abigail, Peter, Clara and a fidgety Lily sat in the stands waiting for the game to start.

"I can't believe you invited them out tonight! Of all nights," Abigail scoffed. "After what happened last night! All you were supposed to do was go and check in."

"What is he supposed to do, Mom? Sit at home and mope? It wasn't his fault." Peter shook his head.

"No, but I know Jack. Trust me, he's taken it to heart."

"Then getting out to a game will be good for him. Just relax, Mom." He ducked as Abigail swatted at him. "Clara, give me Lil, I need protection from Mom."

"Oh no. You want protection, be nice to her." They all laughed at his wife's lack of sympathy.

Frank took his wife's hand. "I was just trying to help, honey. I could tell he wasn't up for talking and Cody did ask me to invite them so it wasn't a lie. I figured what harm couldn't there be in it really?"

"I know." She sighed. "I talked with Elizabeth before he got home this morning, she was so nervous for him. You think this could bring back his PTSD?"

"Time will tell. Whatever happens we will be there for him. He's a good strong man. Puts his whole heart into the job. That can take a toll for sure." Frank looked over at Peter who nodded in agreement.

Abigail rested her head on her husband's shoulder. "Thank you for not being in the service."

"I wouldn't do that to you. Not again." He kissed her sweetly.

Pete smiled at his parents, but feeling a little too much he decided to break the mushiness of the moment, "Enough, love birds, break it up." Frank reached over, smacking the bill of Peter's hat.

"Watch it, son. Do you have any idea how many times I've walked in on you two in a romantic moment? No, you don't. Because I'm respectful and discreet."

"Oh kill me now…" Clara groaned. Abigail just burst out laughing, reaching across Peter to pat her daughter-in-laws' leg. "Its alright, dear. Happens to all of us."

In the parking lot Jack parked the jeep in the nearest spot so Elizabeth wouldn't have to walk too far at the end of the game. She was still in great shape but he didn't want her to have to push it. He knew she tired easily.

The ride to the game had been fun for them. They enjoyed the cool late afternoon air in their hair with the jeep's top down.

"Thanks for that. It was nice getting to ride with the top down again."

"I love it! I remember when I'd come visit you in the summer in Vermont and we'd drive all over the mountains like that."

"Yeah," Jack smiled. "That was the best. Maybe you, me and baby Thornton can do that next summer. Rip too."

"I'd like that." She laughed, "When you bought your first jeep, did you ever imagine a little car seat in the back?"

Jack looked back, imagining it. "Honestly?" She nodded. "Not really. But once I met you, yes. All the time. I even thought about wearing one of those things that people wear where you can hold the baby close to your chest." He gestured before getting out to open her door.

"Like a baby ergo?" She took his hand and stepped out of the jeep.

"Yes. We should register for one of those. Not in pink though please."

Elizabeth laughed. "Of course not. Can't have a Captain in the army wearing a pink baby carrier now can we?"

Jack sighed, "Unless that's what you really want. Then of course, you know I'll wear it."

"No, it's okay. We do need to finish our registry though. I think the one I put on there is grey with some sort of blue pattern on it. I'll check."

"Cool. I want to hold our son close too. Seems… I don't know. Special."

"I think it will be. I can't wait to meet him." She rubbed her belly. "It's coming Jack. He'll be here before we know it!"

"Then there will be 3 of us. Nothing will ever be the same."

"Nope. It will be better!"

Jack didn't drop her hand as they walked from the car to the stands. He followed close behind her as they climbed the few rows up to join their friends.

"About time you slackers showed!" Peter teased. "The game's about to start. Take it from me, Cody frowns upon late comers."

"Noted!" Jack laughed.

The game soon started. Cody's team was in the lead with an early home run. By the end of the third they were all tied up.

'What's that amazing smell?" Elizabeth said during a short break between innings.

"What smell, dear?" Abigail asked. "The hotdogs or stale butter popcorn?"

"The popcorn." Elizabeth's eyes lit up. "It smells so good."

"Baby wants?" Jack laughed.

"Yes! Very much."

"Finally!" Jack cheered.

"What?" Peter asked with a chuckle.

"Finally our baby wants something normal!" Everyone laughed as Jack stood from his seat. "I'll be right back, beautiful. Want some lemonade with that?"

"Yes please!"

"Done." He kissed her temple and headed off.

"I'll go with you." Peter said, kissing Clara and Lily before following Jack down the stands.

Once their men were out of sight Clara leaned over to her friend, giving her a friendly nudge. "Hey. You okay? Last night sounded like a doozy."

"Not great but hey, my husband's okay. Can't ask for more than that in this line of work sometimes."

"True," Clara laughed, holding up her daughter. "Sometimes that's all we have, right? We're just thankful for every day Daddy comes home, right?" Lily clapped her little hands together.

"She's beautiful Clara. Truly."

"Thanks. You know I was watching Peter play with her this morning and it hit me. He almost didn't get to meet her. Sometimes I almost forget that was a thing, you know? Now, I just focus on the good."

"You have to. While they're here with us that's what we do. Then when they're gone we hold tight to the hope and memories we have."

Clara nodded.

"Are you worried Peter will deploy again soon? He's with Shane now, right? They just got back, same as Jack. They wouldn't leave again so soon would they?"

"I don't think it will happen soon. I just know he will eventually and it will be different. It's not just me this time." She looked down at her daughter. "Sorry, I so didn't mean to get all real on you after asking how you were doing. You were the one that had a hard night after all!"

"Gosh no! Don't be sorry! We're both army wives! Whatever you're feeling I can deal with, okay?" Clara nodded. "I'm doing better actually. Jack promised he'd talk to me when we get home. I was nervous he was going to shut me out but just as we were leaving he said we would talk."

"Elizabeth, that's great! It can be so hard!"

"I know. I didn't want to push."

"You're right not to. You know that obviously." Lily reached for Elizabeth. "Want to go to Aunt Elizabeth? She's got a little one cooking in there for you to play with soon." They laughed.

"Soon enough!" Elizabeth took Lily from Clara, holding her as best as she could with her round belly.

The little one immediately placed her little hands on Elizabeth's belly and giggled, as if she just knew she had a friend in there.

"Lily, there's a baby in there! Mine and Jack's baby is right here. Can you feel him?"

She patted Elizabeth's belly where she had pointed and received a good strong kick in return. Shocked, Lily looked up at her mom and Elizabeth. Everyone laughed as Lily patted back.

"Aw," Abigail smiled. "They're having their first conversation!"

Lily patted a little harder causing Elizabeth to make an "Oh" noise.

"Or maybe it's their first fight… come back to Mama sweetie." They all laughed as Clara took Lily back. She wasn't ready at first but Clara coaxed her back with a snack cup.

Down at the concession stand, Peter and Jack were headed back with their orders in hand, both enjoying their conversation and a night out and off post for a chance. Hanging out with Peter was great for Jack. Even though he was a younger soldier, he had been through a lot. He understood the importance of separating oneself from the demands and nightmares of the job and just focusing on life whenever possible. They talked about pro ball, pool games, and how lucky they were to have the wives they had. It was freeing.

"Captain Thornton," a tall, slightly older man called out from across the way.

Recognizing the man as an older officer, Peter excused himself, telling Jack he'd meet him back at their seats.

"Major Christoph. Good to see you." Jack extended his hand. No need to salute out of uniform.

"You too. What brings you out to a little ball game?"

"My friend's kid is playing tonight for the Cyclones. My wife and I came to see him play. You?"

"My son is, as well. I hope you don't mind, I saw you and I wanted to speak to you for a moment."

"Not at all, sir."

Major Christoph nodded, looking around he noticed the once crowded area was mostly empty so he felt more at ease to speak. "About last night."

"Sir, please…"

"Hold on, Captain, I just want to say we've all been there. You don't get to be an officer of notable rank without something happening. I'm in intelligence, I've read the reports of the mission you did over there and it was remarkable. Now I know I'm stepping out of line by discussing this now but I want you to know you did nothing wrong then, and you did nothing wrong now."

Jack wished there was a hole near by he could disappear into. Anywhere.

"You have a good career ahead of you, Captain. I hope to be one of the ones that gets to be a part of it. So stay focused and don't like this bump tarnish you. Understood?"

He could feel his chest tighten. This bump? That bump the major was referring to had a name. Weaver. Wyatt Weaver. He was a good kid. He wasn't a bump.

"Did you hear me, Captain? Eyes to the future. Not to the past."

"Yes, sir." Jack finally managed to say. "Thank you, sir."

"Alright. Enjoy the game."

He shook the man's hand and watched him walk out of sight. He would have just left to go to Elizabeth and their friends, but he couldn't. His feet felt stuck. Cemented to the dirt where he stood. He knew the man was right. He couldn't keep looking back. He had to move forward, and he knew none of this was actually his fault. Still, the sting of what happened was fresh in his heart.

Jack turned around kicking the dirt hard. Why he thought leaving the post would mean leaving his feelings behind, he didn't really know. There was no escaping this.

….

Elizabeth noticed a slight shift in her husbands demeanor when he returned. She held his hand tightly while eating her popcorn with the other.

"What'd I miss?" He asked after saying nothing for a long while.

"Cody scored another couple runs and Lily and our son hit it off already."

"Really?" He asked confused.

"Yes! Either that or they're sworn enemies, but I'm going with buds for life."

"Huh, I'm good with that. What about you, Pete?"

"Oh yeah. I'm reserving the church now."

Jack laughed and rolled his eyes. "Always so snarky, huh Pete?"

"Keeps me young."

"No!" Jack laughed. "Keeps you grumpy. You're like one of those grumpy old men from the Muppets."

"Guess that makes you the older one?

"Oh!" They both laughed, their wives rolled their eyes.

"Didn't realize you two already had boys, did you ladies?" Abigail teased Clara and Elizabeth.

Once the game was over the Cyclones beat the Knights 11 to 6, making for a very happy Cody. They all made plans to meet back at the Hogan's right after for dinner. Jack helped Elizabeth climb up into the jeep. She wanted to ask if they should just head home. He'd spoken so little since coming back from the concession stand.

"Jack, we can just head home if you want."

"What about dinner? I don't know what we have to cook right now at the house."

"We could always just grab something. Besides, you know me. I'm always happy with a grilled cheese."

Jack nodded. "You do love a good grilled cheese." He thought for a moment. "You know I wouldn't mind really if we just went ho…"

"See you soon, Captain and Mrs. Thornton!" Cody yelled out the window as he and the Hogan's drove past.

"Well… I guess that settles that." Jack sighed.

"I'll text Abigail. She'll understand."

"But Cody wont. He's just a kid."

"So, she'll help him understand. It's okay. We made it to the game."

"No. I don't want to ruin his night."

"Jack…"

"Really, it's fine. I'm done disappointing people." He kissed her and went around to the driver's side of the vehicle and hopped in.

As he reached to put the keys in the ignition she stopped him. "Before you drive can you at least tell me when happened? What shifted your mood?"

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Major Christoph was here. His son is on Cody's team, I guess. I bumped into him on my way back from getting the popcorn. He wanted to talk to me about last night."

"What did he say? Was he nice? Did he lecture you? He has no right to…" Jack leaned over silencing his overprotective wife with a slow, deep kiss.

"I love you, my feisty, beautiful wife."

"I love you too. But if he…" He silenced her again. Kissing her breathless.

"To answer your questions: he was nice. He sort of lectured and he outranks me so he does have the rank and authority." He gave her a dimpled grin. "I love you so much. How is it you can pull me out of whatever funk I'm in by just being you?"

"I'm meant to be yours. That's why." She smiled, finally catching her breath.

"No arguments there." He smiled. "Come on. Cody's going to wonder where we are."

…..

At the Hogan's, the Thornton's sat around a small metal fire pit along with the rest of the Hogan family. Gabe and his family even came to enjoy the festivities, wanting to spend as much time as possible with Gabe before he left in a few days.

Once the meal was finished, Jack, Frank, Peter, and Gabe cleared the plates for the ladies and children.

"You really know how to grill chicken." Elizabeth said patting her belly.

"It's all in the marinade. Its an old family recipe. If you're lucky maybe one day I'll share it with you."

Jack gave her a sideways look. "Should I take offense at how you're complimenting another man on his grilling?" he sassed as he returned.

"Just when it comes to chicken. Your burgers and steaks can't be beat."

"Well at least I have that going for me." He grinned, kissing her sweetly.

Gabe and Becky looked on all smiles. They hoped to be just like them one day. Time would tell.

"Captain Thornton," a nervous Gabe spoke. "Could I speak with you for a moment?"

"Me? Sure. Let's take a walk." Jack had no idea what the young man could want. He just hoped it had nothing to do with the fiasco of last night.

"Great!"

"You alright?" Jack asked, leaning over towards Elizabeth.

"I'm doing great. I've got a full belly, a comfy chair and these ladies. Enjoy your walk."

Jack patted Gabe on the back and they headed out the back gate towards the wooded trails behind the house.

"I wonder what that's all about." Abigail said looking over at Becky and Gabe's mother, Cat.

Cat answered first. "Gabe's been talking about looking for a mentor to write to while in basic training. His recruiter suggested it. He's always thought very highly of Captain Thornton." She looked over at Becky, who nodded.

"That's a wonderful idea." Abigail smiled. "Gabe couldn't ask for a better person to have in his corner."

"I couldn't agree more." Cat smiled softly. "Jack reminds me of my late husband. They have a similar temperament and way of looking at the job. I think he will be good for Gabe."

Cody, Miles and Emily all ran up interrupting the flow of conversation begging for dessert. Abigail and Cat both excused themselves to cut the pies and get them ready for serving. With Clara and Lily inside watching Frank and Peter playing a game a pool, that left Becky and Elizabeth alone by the fire.

"Elizabeth, you know how we were talking about how Gabe's recruiter suggested he find a mentor to write to?"

"Yeah. Sounds like a wonderful idea. It can be an extremely trying couple of months. It has to be to get them ready for the work they'll be doing."

"Right. Well see his recruiter is married. His wife suggested I find a mentor, as well."

"Oh yeah?" She smiled. "Not a bad plan."

"No. I know you've got a lot going on with the baby and all but I was wondering if you would consider being mine over the next year? I want to make good choices here, and well, you were the one that told me not to just give up on my dreams to go to college if its what I really wanted and I just, I don't know, I trust you." Becky looked down nervously at her hands in her lap. It was as if she was afraid of the answer she might receive.

Elizabeth took the young girls hand. "I'd be honored. It's a tough road you guys are about to walk, but I'm here for you." She looked up and Jack and Gabe walked back into the yard laughing over something. "We both are."

"Thanks." She wiped away a couple tears. "I'm not sure I'm ready to let him go."

"It's only for a little while."

"I know. But it will never be the same again."

"No," she sighed. "It won't. But it's a step closer to the future you want together. That's what you need to remember."

"Hey!" Gabe was all smiles as he walked over. Till he saw Becky's face that is. "Oh no, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine. Really." Becky wiped her face.

"No, you're not."

"No. But I will be. Just thinking about you leaving."

"Oh, okay." Gabe hugged her. He hated making her sad. He seemed to be making all the women in his life do that. His mother and sister were crying half the time they looked at him right now.

"Just give me a moment. I'll be right back."

She took off toward the house. Gabe went to follow her right away.

"I wouldn't." Elizabeth suggested. "She asked for a moment. Give her at least that. THEN follow."

"Yes ma'am." He sighed. "How long should a wait?"

"Count to 100," Jack said.

"A 100?" Gabe questioned.

"Yup. It's my go-to number."

"Giving away your secrets here, Captain Thornton." Elizabeth teased.

"You're my wife. So what if you know all my secrets? Besides they work so its good for him to know a thing of two." They all laughed. "Go Gabe. It's time now. Be patient and let her say her peace. This is hard. Let your mom and sister do the same if they need to, okay?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you." He ran off to be with Becky.

Jack sat back down comfortably next to his wife. He placed his hand on her leg and rested his head on her shoulder. She was his safe place. His head was still reeling from everything. He was ready to go home now. More than ready.

"Elizabeth can we…."

"Pie, Captain Thornton?" Cody said running up with two small plates in hand. "I have apple and strawberry rhubarb."

He smiled at the enthusiastic young man. "Thanks, bud. We'll take them. I think we'll have to leave soon after though. Is that okay?"

"That's alright. Mom said you've been busy at work. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, we just need some sleep. Thanks for understanding. How about I take you to the batting cages again soon?"

"And ice cream?"

"You run a tough bargain, we'll see." Jack laughed as he ran off. "I love that kid."

"I think the feeling is mutual."

They pulled into their driveway just after 9. Both were beyond exhausted after the what they'd been through the past 24 hours. Just 10 miles shy of their home, Elizabeth had fallen asleep listening to the soft sound of her husband's voice as he sang along to their songs playing from the cd in the jeep.

She couldn't get enough of his voice. She had thought to herself that one day before he deployed again she'd have to get him to make a recording of all her favorites. That way both she and their son could listen to him all the time. Maybe she should get him to record some bedtime stories for their son too.

"Beautiful?" He whispered as he stood next to her on the passenger side of the vehicle. "Elizabeth, sweetheart we're home." She stirred in her seat for a moment before opening her eyes. "Hey there, sleeping beauty. Enjoy your nap?"

"I did. I'm awake now." She yawned.

"Sure you are." He chuckled.

"I am, trust me. We have things to do. You said we'd talk remember?"

"I do remember, but you need your rest now. We both do. We can rain check for tomorrow or…"

"Nope. Now." She stretched her arms out as far as she could with the next yawn. "No getting off that easy, mister." It was clear she was serious yet playful, which he loved about her. It showed just how much she cared about him. The words of the group counselor flickered through his mind for a moment of the importance of a good night sleep but evaporated just as fast. Tonight was important. He needed to put Elizabeth's mind at ease that he was going to be alright. He could do that for her. What was one night anyway?

"Alright. Let's go. I just want to make sure you get some sleep tonight. It was a long stressful day." He pulled her gently out of the car.

"We'll sleep. I promise. It's important for both of us, remember what the counselor said?" He smiled at her words. She remembered too. What a woman she was. Always looking out for him. They were a good pair.

"Okay. I'll check on Rip. Let him out for a few minutes while you get settled. You still want ice cream?"

"Nope. That pie was enough. Cody gave me a huge piece. I've been thinking about what they've been telling us in those birthing classes. I don't want this baby to have to be a c-section simply because I ate too much!"

Jack tilted his head and her. So far they had taken two of the six birthing classes up at the Family Readiness Center to prepare for the birth. Jack had been so excited. It was something he felt he personally could do to get ready for the baby, other than putting together the nursery. They were learning so many tips on how to swaddle the baby, tips for feeding, how to best support the mom through the birth. He couldn't wait. But how eating too much pie could affect the birth…

"Um, were we in the same classes? Because from what I remember I don't think it works that way, babe." He laughed at her antics as they trekked up the walkway to their door. Jack stopped on the stoop to take down the flags that were gracefully flapping in the nights breeze. Handing the Fort Hope's army unit flag to his wife first, then the stars and strips. They rolled them up and headed inside the house.

"Just in case. I'm a small woman and this baby could come out with your strong shoulders and large head."

"Oh, so I have a large head?" he laughed, placing the flags in the closet.

"I'm just saying."

"You're saying if giving birth to our son is overly painful, it's my fault. Is that it?"

"Sure. Let's go with that."

He shook his head. "You could just ask for an epidural when we get in. No shame in that."

"I know. I just want to be able to feel it and push and move if I need to. Call me crazy."

"Crazy." He teased. "It's your call, beautiful. I'll support you whatever you decide. And if you go in thinking one way but change your mind, that's all right too."

"Thank you." She kissed his lips, lingering there for a moment longer than she first intended. "I love you, Jack Thornton."

"I love you, Elizabeth Thornton. Why don't you head upstairs and get comfortable. I'll make us some tea and be right up, okay?"

"Okay."

He stood at the base of the stairs and watched as she climbed up towards their room. He wondered what he would say to her in a few minutes. There hadn't been a moment for him to organize his own thoughts yet. Who better to organize his thoughts with though than her. His rock.

With the water bubbling away in the kettle on the stove he took Rip out into the backyard. The events of everything from not only from the night before, but the last year were flooding his mind all at once. The day he left, Burke's death the funeral, that brief visit with Elizabeth, finding out he would be a father, the fateful mission where he almost lost his own life, coming home, struggling through PTSD, Rosie, Lee and their baby, now Weaver's incident. So much in just one year. All the images seemed to overlap one another now. It was nearly impossible for Jack to organize his thoughts. In his mind he tried to close out the world and hone in on one in particular.

"Jack?"

He jumped at the sound of her voice. Suddenly he had no idea how much time had passed when he saw her standing there. She'd changed her clothes, and her hair was undone, cascading loose down her back.

"I'm sorry. Did I scare you? The kettle was whistling. I wasn't sure if you could hear it so I came down." He just looked at her. "Babe, you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. Somehow I must have missed it."

"Oh that's alright. You still want tea?" She stepped away toward the kitchen.

"Yes, but I'll get it." He jumped up and moved past her. "Chamomile with a little honey for you?"

"Yes please." She smiled coming up behind him. She rubbed circles on his back, calming him almost instantly.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth," he whispered.

"Stop that." She leaned in kissing his cheek softly. "You just got distracted. Stuck in your own thoughts?"

"Yeah."

"I'm guessing they weren't all of just what happened last night either." He placed the kettle back on the stove and stared at her, astonished by her insight. "We've been married a while, babe. I know you well."

"Clearly." He smiled. "So if you know me so well should I still tell you what I'm thinking or do you already know?"

"I have an idea. But I still like to hear it from you. Besides, I don't know everything, even if I sometimes like to make you think that," she flirted, kissing his lips. "Come with me, handsome." She took her tea in one hand and his fingers in the other and led him up the stairs to the comfort of their room.

Upstairs, the night's breeze lightly made its way through the slightly cracked windows. The lights were dimmed, creating a soft, almost romantic mood. Romantic wasn't exactly what Elizabeth had been going for. More like relaxing. Jack quickly changed into just his dark athletic shorts and turned back to look at his wife. The moonlight hitting her perfectly.

"Are you trying to get me to talk or seduce me, Mrs. Thornton?" he teased.

"Wait, what?" She blushed. "I was just trying to make you comfortable, not make it romantic!"

"Sweetheart, you're standing there wearing my Bruins t-shirt, those sexy short shorts, with your hair casually draped over your shoulder like that and you expect me not to have romantic thoughts about you?"

"Um, you're also stressed, and I'm pregnant. Or do you not see this early third trimester bump under your shirt that I'm wearing?"

"Oh, I see it. That beautiful bump is our son, remember." He grinned, running his fingers over her stomach. "I also remember the night he got there. This ties in to what we were going to talk about some actually. Come, sit."

Jack placed his tea on the nightstand before crawling onto the bed. Elizabeth took another sip of hers and did the same.

"It's weird to think about. I wasn't even supposed to be here. I was supposed to be all the way on the other side of the world. Then there was the explosion and everything changed."

Elizabeth curled up in Jack's arms, kissing his bare chest softly.

"I always wanted to be a dad someday." He placed the hand that wasn't holding her close on her belly. "My dad was a great dad. I wanted to just like him. I spent my whole life looking up to him."

"He was a good man. He's so proud of you, Jack. If there's a viewing room in heaven, he's there and he's proud."

Her head rose and fell with his chest with his sharp breath.

"I'm not so sure."

She pushed herself up to look at him in the eyes, he didn't make eye contact. Just stared up at the oscillating fan above.

"Jack, what is it?"

He pulled her back down into his arms, needing to feel her warmth on him like a blanket. She was his security.

"It's just… when I was a little boy, Tom and I would run around the yard playing knights of the round table. We'd slay dragons and save the village from the bad guys. We were the heroes."

"I've seen the pictures. You two were adorable," she smiled.

"My dad though, he was the real hero. He not only fought the dragons, he rode the dragons into battle." Jack gave a little laugh. "Dad was a fighter pilot. When there was danger they'd call and he'd fly into action. I wanted to grow up to be everything good about my father."

"You think you haven't?"

He didn't answer.

She sat up, staring down at him. "Jack Thornton, you answer me."

Finally he looked into her eyes. "I don't know. Right now it sure doesn't feel that way."

She laid back down, holding him close as she ran her slender fingers over the strong muscles of his upper arms that held her. This man was everything to her. Her great love, the father to her child, her best friend. Her greatest joy, strength, and gift. That fact that he could have doubt himself broke her heart. She never doubted him. Never. It did't mean he was perfect. He was human, but he was a good strong faithful man of God. In that was all the strength and honor of the best of them. She knew that. She just had to convince him.

"I know what happened with Burke wasn't my fault. That's the job. I don't have to like it but its the nature of the beast. With Weaver, I did everything I could for him, I hope. It just wasn't enough. That also wasn't my fault. I'm having trouble accepting it."

"And you think if it were your father, it wouldn't have happened?"

"I can't help but wonder, yeah. There's no way of knowing, though. It's not like I can just call him up and say, "Hey Dad, you ever deal with this? What would you have done?" Wouldn't that be nice?" Jack sighed.

It hit Elizabeth in that moment just how much Jack really missed his father in times like these. Now with their son's birth approaching, Thomas Thornton was missing yet another milestone. He'd died so close to their wedding, missed their graduation, Jack's first commission and now this.

"I really miss him, Elizabeth," Jack whispered.

"I know, babe. I miss him too."

Elizabeth scooted up so their faces were resting together on the same pillow. As they held each other, their warm tears blended together.

"I'm glad you got to know him some, beautiful. I can't tell you what that means to me."

"Me too."

An idea soon hit Elizabeth. She carefully jumped off the bed and hurried down towards the study.

"Beautiful, where are you going?" Jack called down the stairwell.

"The letters!"

"What?"

"Your mother! The night you had leave from your deployment when Burke was killed she gave you your father's letters. I remembered reading them and there was one in particular I think you need to read tonight. Go back to bed I'll be right up."

A couple minutes later she climbed back into bed next to Jack with the stack of letters in hand.

"I know it's not the same as having him here with you, but in a way at least a part of him still can be, right?" She carefully handed the letter over to him, kissing his cheek and started to slide away. "Want me to give you a moment alone?"

"No. Please stay with me?" She nodded and snuggled in closer. She'd wanted to stay, but would have respected his wishes either way.

Taking a deep breath, Jack unfolded the letter and began to read his father's words on the page, trying to hear the man's voice in his heart as he did so.

"Dear Char,

Another long week here in Afghanistan. To say tensions are high out here is an understatement. We lost 2 good men this week. I would have volunteered to escort them home but I felt I was needed here. I hope you understand. I hated to pass up a chance to see you and the boys but the men here are struggling with the loss. I know you though. You'll understand.

How are the boys? I miss them so much. I have their picture, along with yours close to my heart here. I carry it every day and look at it every chance I get. I was just thinking about how I can't wait to come home and take the boys camping in the mountains again or fishing in your dad's pond. When we're there, everything just seems right in the world. Not like here. Here everything just seems wrong.

One of the men we lost was just 22. Too young. Not that there's ever a good age. He was a good man. I trained him. That's what hurts so much. I keep thinking, what if I screwed up? I never would have had him out there if I thought he couldn't handle it. It was a tough mission. But that's just it, he could handle it. He was a strong piliot. Things happen though. God only knows why. It's things you can't predict. I keep wondering what else I could have done. I made a list of what else I should have taught him. The list is short and really there is no guarantee that anything I put on it would have made a difference. I just needed to do it to remind myself that I did right by the boy.

It's funny. Right now I just want to see myself the way Jack and Tommy see me. Like superman. A man who can do and solve anything. I wonder what they'll think one day when they realize I'm just a man. I hope I never let them down. I'll never forgive myself.

Though I know one day I will.

I want to leave behind some knowledge worthwhile for them. If something should happen, yes I know you hate when I say this but please humor me Char, but if something should happen to me tell them that the best lesson I can ever leave them is to just know that no matter what they do, they need to give it their all, give God the glory, and seek Him first. Tell them that for me?

Alright, enough of the stuff you hate.

I love you, Char. I think of you day and night. I miss everything about you. Even your cooking. Though I had a meal last night that reminded me of your cooking. Just kidding. Kind of. When I get home after a bit we're dropping the boys off at the grandparents and I'm taking you away for a few days just us. I want to have four days at least of romance, fishing and just us. What do you say?

With all my love,

Your Tom"

Jack folded the letter placing it and the others on the nightstand.

"That was a great idea, Elizabeth. Thank you."

She smiled, "You're very welcome. You feeling any better?"

"Getting there."

"Good. I know it will take time. Just remember I'm here for you and I love you. Now matter how you feel, you did what you good. And you are a great man Jack Thornton. You are certainly the only man for me."

He nodded, giving her a soft kiss on the top of her head. "You're the only one for me, Elizabeth. I'd be lost without you."

"Good thing we're stuck together then." She grinned. "What do you think about naming our son after your dad?"

"Sure. Just not Thomas. Tom is enough." Jack laughed. "But I liked my dad's middle name. We could use that for the first name and Douglas after Burke for the middle."

"Perfect." Elizabeth rubbed her belly. "You hear that baby? You've got a name!" He kicked back with force, making his parents laugh.