Author's Note:Hey guys! So, I do have internet here so I can upload, yay! Thank you all so much for every single review on this story! They make me smile so much! This chapter is very much an 'explaining' sort of chapter so I hope you enjoy it! We get to see Sirius's side of the story at last! Don't worry if you're confused about how he was found guilty, as you're meant to be! All will be exposed in the next few chapters so hang in there! Hope you enjoy!

"Harry will you wait!"

He could hear Mara calling from behind him, but he had no intention of acknowledging her. He continued to storm away up the staircase, the castle around them echoing with their footsteps. She was close behind, her shadow visible on the ground in front of Harry. He kept on going, the air around him sizzling with his temper.

After a long night stuck in Dumbledore's office he was in no mood to talk to anyone. He had fallen asleep on a large armchair, the upset and hurt exhausting him to the point where he was falling asleep sitting up. Remus had also joined them, and had admitted everything to Dumbledore regarding Sirius. Dumbledore had listened carefully, his face mostly unreadable. Afterwards, he had instructed nobody was to approach Sirius again until he himself had spoken with him. Harry had been awake for this part of the discussion, but by then it had been close to dawn and his bed had been calling him loudly. Remus escorted him to the common room after they'd finished, but everyone in his dorm was already awake and moving around. Harry knew there would be no hope of him sleeping in there, especially with his already fragile temper, so he had decided to go a long walk to think the past 24 hours over.

Mara had caught him just as he was leaving the common room, still in his clothes from the previous day. She, too, looked as if she had gotten little sleep that night, but had at least changed into a different outfit. She had hugged Harry, and immediately began asking questions. Harry, who had been in no mood to even respond to her with a brief nod, had stormed away from her. He felt a little guilty for being so horrible to her, especially as he knew she was only trying to help, but his conscience didn't seem to be working properly at the moment. Of course, Mara being Mara, she had followed him, determined for at least some type of answer.

She followed him out into the cold, crisp morning, her footsteps crunching on the frozen ground just as Harry's were. He kept his eyes focused on a gap in the forest, walking faster than he had been before. The grounds were near enough empty, with only a handful of students walking around for some fresh air.

"Harry, for gods sake! Just stop!" Mara called.

"Leave me alone." Harry murmured in response.

"Is shutting me out really the answer?! It's not going to help anyone." Mara said, grabbing his jacket from the shoulder. Harry was pulled backwards slightly, but he shrugged her off, storming away like she was some sort of inconvenience.

"I'm bloody tired. I just want five fricking minutes to myself! Am I not allowed that!" Harry shouted.

"Harry, I need to tell you something!"

"No!" Harry yelled, coming to a halt. "I don't want to hear anything more about Remus, or Sirius, or dementors! I just want five minutes where I don't have to think about it!"

Deep down, Harry knew that there was no way of shaking any of these thoughts. But he needed to try. It felt as if his mind wasn't his own anymore, like it had been dominated completely by clouded thoughts and emotions. He longed to be away from it, if even for a little while. He was sure his mind could not take anything else.

Harry began to walk away again, but Mara's words stopped him in his tracks.

"I saw Sirius."

Harry stopped, staring at the horizon before him of the lake and trees. He knew he had heard her right, but he didn't know how to react. Why wasn't he wanting to run to his godfather? All we wanted to do was forget about everything, for right now, it seemed a whole lot easier. He turned to look at Mara, her dark curls blowing lightly in the wind as her eyes shone with the longing for Harry to just listen. He remembered what Remus had said, a time that now felt so long ago.

She's the only other person who understands exactly how you're feeling… and you're pushing her away

Harry bowed his head, the guilt flooding over him briefly before the realisation of Mara's words hit him like a ton of bricks.

"When?" he asked.

Mara looked around, turning her neck to gaze over her shoulders at the group of students who had just exited the oak doors.

"Not here." Mara said, grabbing Harry's hand and leading him away. They went through the gap in the trees that Harry had his eyes on, the twigs and branches catching in their hair as they walked on. Mara's grip was tight on Harry's hand as she lead the way, almost as if she was afraid he would run away before she got the chance to speak. They settled in a small clearing, a large rock visible between two trees. Mara climbed up, Harry following her, and they both sat down.

"I went to see him last night." Mara said.

"In the shrieking shack? How did you get there without being seen?" Harry questioned.

Mara sent him a look before reaching inside her jacket pocket and lifting out a piece of familiar fabric. Harry took the invisibility cloak from her, not necessarily annoyed that she had taken it. They always shared their belongings, so it was nothing strange to Harry… he just wanted to know how she got it. Mara seemed to know what he was thinking, for straight away she answered his question.

"Draco got it for me. I'm sorry, but he was my only option." She added, obviously seeing the unimpressed look on Harry's face. Silence took over for a few seconds, in which Harry's thoughts raced. He hadn't known how to feel when he found out Sirius was here. He had been fuming at Remus for not telling him… but he had also been mad at Sirius for not being there when he needed him to be. But now, it felt like Harry was remembering who this was… this was his godfather. The man who had raised him and taken him in. And he had let his anger take over.

"How… how was he?" Harry asked, feeling slightly awkward.

"As good as he can be… he's pretty fed up, cold, hungry… and he thinks you hate him." Mara replied.

Harry felt his heart break. "I don't hate him… I never could."

Mara was studying his face closely. "Do you think he did it?"

"Did what?" Harry said, trying to act dumb.

"You know perfectly well what. Do you think he betrayed your parents?"

Harry sighed. "I wasn't sure at first. When I found out, I think I was just so angry and the shock was too much for me. Then I started to think about it rationally. Sirius would never have hurt my mum and dad… at least, I believe he wouldn't."

"He didn't do it, Harry. What does Dumbledore think?" Mara asked.

Harry's mind flashed back to the evening before, even though it had merely been hours ago.

"Dumbledore told me there was no way on earth Sirius would have turned in my parents." Harry said.

"Well, doesn't Dumbledore's word mean something to you? You trust him." Mara pointed out.

"I know. It was just so hard to hear. The idea of Sirius betraying my parents… well it was a lot to think about."

"You need to see Sirius, Harry. He misses you." Mara said.

"What if Remus was right, Mara. What if I can't handle it… I want to see him, but I can't bear to be torn apart from him again." Harry whispered, resting his chin on his knees.

"Stop thinking of what could go wrong." Mara said, patting him on the back.

He looked over at her, and knew she was right. He needed to see Sirius again… he had to know. Maybe it would be too much, or there was no mending the wounds. But he had to try. If Mara could do it, he could. He smiled at her, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Let's go." He said.


27thMay 1981

Lily Potter sat at the table in the kitchen of their cottage in Godric's Hollow. Her hands were clasped around a mug of tea that had now gone cold, as well as having been left untouched. Her red hair was hanging loose around her face, hiding her behind a shadow. Sirius sat opposite her, a mug of strong coffee half drunk in front of him. He hated seeing Lily this way. She was always so on edge now, her bright green eyes always on the lookout for trouble or danger.

"He should be back by now." Lily said, sending Sirius a look which screamed fear.

"He won't be long. You know James, he likes to keep us waiting." Sirius responded, wanting to keep her calm.

"It's a little bit different, Padfoot. Being late for a date is not the same as going on a mission for the order, even if he is using Polyjuice." Lily said, her hands holding the teacup tighter than before. Sirius was sure she was about to smash it to pieces if she wasn't careful.

"He was late for your wedding." Sirius said, a smile on his face as he attempted to lighten the mood.

Lily couldn't help but smirk a little, her eyes twinkling for a fraction of a second. Sirius sighed. Trust James to put everything on the line just to get information. Sirius knew how bored he was of sitting in this house every day, just waiting for any type of news. But using Polyjuice potion to accompany Remus on a mission in Wales was just downright risky. Sirius had offered to stay behind and protect Lily while he was away, even if he thought his best friend and idiot for being so careless.

Lily was watching the clock on the wall so intensely that Sirius was just waiting for sparks to fly out her wand, which she was now holding in her right hand. She always kept it close by now, either in her pocket or in her hand. James had promised to be back by five o'clock ("just in time for dinner!" he had said) but already it was 5:35, and James had yet to return.

Lily's intense staring was broken off by a cry from the baby chair behind her. She jumped off her seat, reaching her baby son in merely two steps. She lifted him from the chair, bouncing him on her knee and immediately calming him down. He was smiling up at his mother, his little face so close to hers.

"Don't worry, Harry, mummy's here." Lily said, laying a kiss on his head, where a mop of dark hair had begun to grow.

Sirius smiled at the sight before him, baby Harry turning to see him. As soon as he spotted Sirius he laughed in delight, holding out his arms towards him. Lily laughed, walking over to Sirius as Harry fussed in her arms. Sirius took Harry from her, resting him on his lap and Lily took a deep breath.

"Swear that muggle swing chair is absolutely useless. Meant to keep them entertained for hours on end. I'm lucky if it keeps Harry occupied for five minutes." Lily said, watching as her son pulled on Sirius's hair, his mouth spread in a smile.

"That's because Harry here loves to cause trouble. And he can't do that from a swing." Sirius said, lifting Harry above his head and blowing on his stomach. Harry squealed in delight. Lily had returned to watching the clock and had now begun to nibble at her fingernails from her nerves. She kept glancing over at the fireplace, waiting desperately for the flash of green to appear.

Harry had started fussing in Sirius's arms, so Lily brought over his dinner for Sirius to feed to him. Sirius knew she was much too worried to even think about giving Harry his apple sauce, so he did so without a single question. He made it into a game, pretending the spoon was a broomstick flying into Harry's mouth. The boy clapped his hands in delight, laughing every time Sirius raised the spoon.

"Padfoot, could you try and get some of it in his mouth?" Lily said, a slight grin on her face despite the tense situation. Sirius had always loved that about Lily- she took everything as it came, and always put on a strong face in even her darkest days.

The kitchen suddenly glowed green, the fireplace filling with the emerald flames as James Potter stepped out of the bricks. He was himself, the Polyjuice potion obviously having had worn off. He smiled at Lily, which Sirius knew was an immediate mistake. She crossed the room, and began slapping her husband on the arm.

"You had me worried sick!" she said, sounding a second away from crying. James caught her hand, his face serious as he pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Lil. We couldn't get the floo network to connect to here. The protective charms block the floo from working, so we had to get Dumbledore to open it to let me through. Then of course, he was pretty pissed off when he found out I'd been on a mission. Said a lot about it putting you and Harry in danger." James explained.

"Damn right you're putting us in danger. Did you find out what you were after?" Lily asked.

"Yes. Voldemort is still looking for us, alright. Interrogated and killed three people in the last week to try and find where we are. You remember Wendy, Scott and Rory from Hogwarts, they were in our year. Dead, murdered in cold blood." James said, a grave look on his face. Lily looked horrified.

"I remember that Wendy. I sat beside her in Herbology… she was muggle-born, too." Lily said, her eyes darting to Harry who had stopped taking his food and had instead began smothering it on the table.

"Hey, Harry." James said, laying a kiss on his son's head as he sat down next to Sirius. Lily set down a bowl of stew in front of him, which he wolfed down straight away.

"Want any, Sirius?" Lily asked.

"I'm ok, Lil. I'll just have another cup of coffee." Sirius said, refilling his mug with a simple spell.

"You need to stop drinking gallons of that, Padfoot. No wonder you're awake all night." James said.

"I'm awake all night because I'm usually out doing something for the order." Sirius replied, bouncing a restless Harry on his knee.

"Well… seeing as you're here… now would be an appropriate time to talk to you about something…" James said as he finished his stew, getting rid of the bowl with a flick of his wand. Sirius watched him, trying to make sense of what he could possibly mean.

"Is Wormy still here, Lil?" James asked his wife as she sat down with them.

"Yes. He's asleep." Lily answered, taking baby Harry so Sirius could see James clearly. Harry lay against her, his hands gripping her longs waves of red hair.

"We've decided to make Wormy our secret keeper." James began. "Voldemort knows, or at least some of his death eaters do, how close you are to us. We think that you continuing to be the secret keeper would be too obvious. Peter, on the other hand, they won't suspect him the same."

Sirius looked from James to Lily, not quite knowing what to say.

"Being the secret keeper is putting your life at risk, Padfoot. You're like a brother to me, I couldn't live with you killed to protect us." James said.

"That is what family's do." Sirius said. "What about Peter? What if something happens to him?"

"They won't suspect him the same way they will you." Lily said.

"There is still a risk!"

"And Peter knows that. It's already been switched, Padfoot." James said.

"What does Dumbledore make of this?" Sirius asked.

James looked at Lily, his wife returning the glance. James sighed.

"We didn't tell Dumbledore. We need to protect him, too. This way, not even he knows who the true secret keeper is."

"This is bullshit." Sirius breathed.

"Padfoot." Lily said gently, laying her hand on top of his own. "Please. You have to try and understand. You're Harry's godfather. We need to know that if it ever comes down to it, he'll have someone to care for him. Harry needs you… we need you. If there ever comes a day when we aren't here for him- "

"Don't talk like that!" Sirius interrupted, the thought unbearable in his mind.

"- then you have to be. If we carry on putting you at risk like this then what happens? Please, Padfoot."

Sirius looked at Lily, and he couldn't deny her what she wanted. All she wanted was to know that Harry would always be safe no matter what… he couldn't hold that against her, not for anything.

"Ok." Sirius said, looking at the sleeping baby on Lily's lap.

"Thank you." James said, patting him on the shoulder.

"I'm still coming around here every chance I get." Sirius said.

Lily and James laughed. "Like we would have it any other way."


1stNovember 1981

"PETER! YOU FUCKING COWARD!"

Sirius's heart was beating so fast as the tears poured down his cheeks. He couldn't get the image out of his head, no matter how much he tried to. James… dead in the hallway. Lily… dead in Harry's nursery. Their eyes had been open, but there had been nothing there but emptiness. Sirius wanted to rip his heart out, there and then. He never wanted to feel like this again… he couldn't. The pain was too real… it was too much. He would never see them again.

Gone… dead…

Peter was running down the street, his eyes alight with fear as Sirius walked towards him. He was going to kill him, and he didn't care if he rotted in Azkaban for it. It was his fault they were gone. He had done this to them. Sirius's stomach had not stopped clenching, even his insides hurt from the pain. His head was pounding, his eyes clouded with his tears. He had never felt emotion like this.

"YOU BETRAYED THEM! THEY WERE YOUR FRIENDS!" Sirius screamed.

There were muggles in the street, all of them stopped to watch the fiasco that was going on. Peter ran through them, turning to see how close Sirius was. He wanted to send a killing curse after the piece of shit and be done with it. But Peter didn't deserve a merciful death… he deserved to suffer for what he had done… for what he had taken away.

Sirius ran faster, catching up on Peter. He grabbed the tail end of his robes, tugging them so hard that Peter fell backwards, banging his head off the ground. Sirius could hear the muggles gasping in surprise, but he didn't even stop to care. He knelt over Peter's body, his hand tightly around his neck.

"James and Lily… you slimy piece of shit… how could you do that… they're your friends!"

Sirius felt all the anger and hurt rise up in him once more, and he struck Peter across the face with such force that his nose began to bleed immediately. But that wasn't enough. Sirius wanted to do more… he wanted to hear him scream, to beg for mercy.

He hit him again, this time harder. Peter yelped as his fist came down on his face, trying to release Sirius's grip on his neck. But Sirius wouldn't budge.

"You deserve this! And you know what? I'm going to kill you! I am going to kill you for what you've done!"

"I… I… didn't… mean… to… was… threatened." Peter gasped between breaths.

"Then you should have given your life than betray your friends!" Sirius roared.

He lifted his wand, the spell on his lips. He didn't even care that there were crowds of muggles watching him. He didn't care what the consequences were or what the ministry would do to him. He had lost everything he cared about.

"Sirius!"

He felt a hand grab his wrist, pulling his arm back so his wand fell out his hands. Sirius turned, waiting to see Dumbledore or McGonagall behind him.

"Don't." Remus said.

His face was red and his eyes were more than bloodshot. He was shaking from head to toe, Sirius's wand and his own clutched in his hand.

"Give me my wand." Sirius growled.

"No." Remus answered.

"Give it to me!" Sirius shouted. "He needs to pay!"

Sirius stood up straight, Remus grabbing him roughly.

"You think revenge is going to fix things?! You think this will make anything better?! Will killing him bring them back!?"

Sirius didn't answer, for his throat was closed over. Fresh tears were falling from his eyes, his vision blurring.

"They're gone, Remus."

"I know. But they wouldn't want this. They wouldn't want you to become a murderer." Remus said.

"What am I meant to do?" Sirius wept.

Remus grabbed his shoulders, lifting his chin to ensure he was looking him straight in the eye.

"You're going to go back. You're going to go to Hagrid and speak with Dumbledore. And you're going to be there for that kid."

Sirius watched as Dumbledore lifted his head out of the Pensieve. His face was unreadable as he looked at Sirius as if he was just seeing him for the first time. Dumbledore walked over to Sirius, the floorboards of the shrieking shack creaking under his feet. He stopped in front of Sirius, a weak smile now on his mouth.

"Do you see now?" Sirius said, jerking his head at the Pensieve that Dumbledore had brought with him.

"Yes, I do indeed." Dumbledore nodded. "I think it's time to clear your name."