Chapter Fifty:
Two days passed and everything felt perfect to Mackenzie. She may have been grounded, but she was happy. She didn't even care that Eric had locked the library, anticipating that she would try to sneak into the room during the day. In exchange, he would allow her to loiter in the kitchen during the first few hours after Eric woke before he would have to tend to business at Fangtasia. They talked for the first time in fourteen years, enjoying each other's company. Mackenzie couldn't have asked for a better send off than just being able to spend time with her father.
It was too good to be true, however.
On the third morning, everything was different. She felt it the moment she struggled to open her eyes, the slightest movement difficult and achy. When she managed to sit up, her head spun and reached desperately for the garbage pail to empty her stomach into.
Godric's blood had worn off.
She hadn't expected it to happen so quickly. It had taken more than a week for her illness to return the last time, but as she reasoned, Godric had given her much more of his blood then. His attempt at lengthening her life had only worked for the time being. That was it. She was once again dying.
Mackenzie was cursing herself for getting so wrapped up in enjoying her seemingly normal life that she had put off telling Eric. It was never going to be the right time to tell him, but this wasn't what Mackenzie wanted. She should have just mustered up the courage and destroyed him the moment they returned home. Delaying it had only made it worse for both of them.
As the day wore on, Mackenzie could feel her condition worsening. By the third time she vomited into the toilet, she realized she was throwing up blood. By mid afternoon, she was coughing it up. By the time the sun began to set, she was shaking uncontrollably.
"I'm so sorry, Godric," she whispered to herself. She had let him down. He had been so determined to find a cure, to keep her alive. And now it didn't matter. Her own body was attacking her and there was nothing that could be done this time.
This was it.
When Mackenzie heard Eric begin to move around the first floor, she shakily began to push herself to her feet. She could barely stand on her own, leaning on whatever she could find as she fought to get to her bedroom door. She needed Eric. She needed her father. She doubted she was going to make it through the night; all she wanted was to say goodbye.
Once she was at the top of the stairs, everything started to spin. The staircase seemed longer than it was, an impossible trip that she would never be able to make. She tried taking a few steps before stopping, but only felt more queasy and tired. It was no use.
"E-Eric…" she called as loudly as she could, her voice shaking as her plea came out only just barely louder than a whisper. Her bottom lip quivered as the room shifted against, her hands clutching tightly onto the railing for support. The strength started to leave her as she attempted one last time to call for her guardian. "Eric!"
The cry was met by the vampire's ears this time as Eric sat in his office. His head snapped up at Mackenzie's call, his eyebrows furrowing. She didn't sound like herself, he noted, and darted out of the room in search for her. Finding her near the top of the stairs, the world stopped around him. He knew the moment he glanced at her. He knew it immediately.
"No," he shook his head, appearing before her in only a blink of an eye as he caught her around the waist as she started to lose balance. "Oh god no."
"I-I'm s-so," her hands shook as she clutched onto his shirt for dear life. "I'm so sorry."
"No, no, no, no, no," he refused to believe that she was sick again. How could she be? She had been well since Godric had given her his blood. She had been perfect. How could she suddenly be ill? How could it be as if she had never been given blood in the first place? She couldn't be dying. "You can't…no you can't be."
She could hear the aching in his voice and it brought tears to her eyes. If she had told him sooner, he would have been prepared. He would have expected this. But she had been selfish and taken her sweet time. She was causing her own father pain.
"He was right. I'm so sorry. He was right," Mackenzie sobbed into his chest. "I should have told you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
Eric held her in his arms even as she swayed. He could smell it. He could smell that she was dying. Fear coursed through him, knowing that his daughter was literally dying in his arms. Her sobs of apology didn't click at first, not until she started repeating herself over and over again. Only then did he realize what she was saying.
He knew.
Godric knew that she was sick again. He knew as they returned to Shreveport that Mackenzie didn't have much time, and he hadn't uttered a single word to his own child.
"P-please don't be…" she trailed off as she began to cough.
The smell of blood caused his nostrils to flare and he quickly reached between them and to his shirt that was now slick with blood. Her blood.
"I don't want to die," she cried out as her coughing subsided. Her eyes were squeezed shut as her legs began to shake. "I'm scared. I don't want to die."
"Shh," her tried too soothe her as the desperation started to sink in. He needed to do something, anything, to keep her from dying. Without even thinking, he raised his wrist as his fangs extended, ripping into the flesh and pushing it against Mackenzie's lips. "Drink, Mackenzie. You need to drink."
She tried, but she only coughed the blood up the moment it hit her tongue.
"Damn it!" he tried to think, tried to remember if he had found anything useful in his research for a cure. But every lead had come to a dead end. He had never been able to find a successful antidote to her illness.
She was going to die.
When Mackenzie grew slack in his arms, Eric began to panic. He leaned back, only to discover her head lolling to the side. He tried to wake her up, but it was no use. His only hope was the faintest heartbeat. It was enough, however.
"What the hell?" Pam slammed through the front door, skidding to a stop as she found Eric lifting an unconscious Mackenzie into his arms. She had felt her maker's distress and had prayed she had been wrong. "She's dying again, isn't she?"
His eyes were rimmed with blood as he slowly carried Mackenzie's form down the stairs, cradling her form to his body as if the tighter he held her, the better she might become.
"Eric?" Pam took a tentative step forward. The mere sight of the pale unconscious teen made her want to retreat. This single human had made her feel emotions she had never even felt as a human.
"I…I don't know what to do," he felt so helpless. His blood wasn't working. He didn't have a back up plan. He had no idea how to fix this, how to help her. She was dying and there was nothing he could do.
"Blood," Pam offered. "If we give her our…"
"I've already tried."
There was only one other way, but Pam knew Eric's thoughts on turning Mackenzie. Would he really refuse now, though, when they were so close to losing her?
"What about…"
"No," Eric shook his head, though his gaze never let Mackenzie. "I can't."
"But Eric…"
"Last resort," he sent her a rare, pleading look.
Her shoulders slumped. "I don't know what else we can do, Eric. If your blood won't work, then we need to turn her."
He couldn't though. Taking her life, the mere thought disgusted him. No, he would only resort to turning her if there was no other option. And there had to be. "What if there's something that can be done. What if there's another way. I won't do that to her. I won't take her life away if there's a chance."
"What chance, Eric?" Pam sighed as she waved her hand at the motionless girl. "She's dying. There's nothing else we can do to change that."
"No," his expression hardened. "Not yet. Not until I have to."
She wanted to shake her maker, to yell at him that he was being irrational. If they waited too much longer, it would be too late. But she knew Eric well enough to know that she wouldn't be able to get through to him. He was stubborn, especially when it came to Mackenzie. If there even a sliver of a chance that she could be saved without being turned, Eric would do whatever he could to make sure it happened.
"We should take her to the hospital then," she suggested. "If you won't turn her yet, then she should at least be comfortable. She doesn't need to be in any more pain."
Eric didn't like human doctors. He didn't trust any doctor. But he knew Pam was right. They could make her comfortable. They could ensure she wasn't in any more pain. Perhaps they could give them even a little bit more time to find something that could help her.
Nodding in agreement, Eric began towards the door Pam was already opening.
"Should I call Godric?" she followed him out of the house, preparing to take flight to the nearest hospital.
Eric stiffened at the mention of his maker, fury consuming him. "I don't care."
Pam raised an eyebrow. "He'll want to know."
"I said I don't care," he hissed.
"Look, I know you're pissed at him right now, but this isn't the time," Pam shook her head at their petty argument.
"He knew," Eric spat out. "He knew she was sick."
"What?"
"He knew she was sick again," The more he said it, the more he wanted to rip his maker apart. "So call him or don't, I really don't care," his gaze fell down to Mackenzie. "She's all I care about now."
Sookie raced through the hospital hallways in search for Eric. Pam had left a message that had left an icy cold feeling in her chest. She knew Mackenzie was sick, but a small part of her hoped that Godric or Eric would find a cure. This poor sweet girl couldn't die, not when her dreams of having a family were finally becoming a reality.
"Sookie!" Bill followed closely behind. "You can't just run off whenever they call you."
"Oh just shut up," she twisted around to glare at him. "I didn't ask you to come with, Bill. Go home."
"You shouldn't be alone with them. Look at what happened in Dallas," he grabbed her arm, attempting to pull her back the way they came. "Eric is dangerous."
"No, he's a grieving father right now. Let me go," she yanked her arm free. "There's an eighteen year old somewhere in this hospital unfairly dying. I'm staying."
"Sookie…"
"Go home Bill. You're only going to make things worse," she didn't wait for a response as she pivoted back around and continued her search for the Viking.
After a few more turns, she was relieved when she found the vampire sitting alone in a small waiting room. She paused in the entrance, hesitant to grow closer as she took in the unusually disheveled Eric. There was a blank look on his face as he stared at the wall across from him, locks of hair out of place as bloody tears rimmed his eyes. The sight caused her heart to ache. There was once a time she only saw Eric as a cruel, annoying vampire that had only wanted to get her into his bed. But she realized she had been wrong all along. Eric was just like any father that had no control over the fate of his ill daughter, vampire or not.
"I'm so sorry, Eric," she crossed the room and slowly sat beside him. She laid a hand gently on his arm, but the vampire never acknowledged that she was there. "I'm so sorry."
She squeezed his arm in comfort, but didn't utter another word. The best she could do is just be there for him, in hopes that it might help even in the slightest. Eventually Pam joined them, phone in hand, grim look on her face as she settled across from them. No one spoke, the silence almost deafening as they waited for any word on Mackenzie's condition. It felt like hours as they sat and waited, but finally, a doctor stepped into the waiting room, Eric suddenly coming to life.
"How is she?" he rose to his feet, his eyes wide in desperation.
The doctor sighed as he took off his glasses and shook his head. "I'm truly sorry, Mr. Northman, but there isn't much else we can do for her. The cancer has progressed. We knew this day would be coming, I only thought it would be in a few more months."
"What does this mean?" Pam eyed Eric's frozen state as the doctor's words set in. "How much time does she have?"
"Not much longer, I'm afraid. It would be a miracle if she lasted through the night. I would suggest saying your goodbyes sooner rather than later," he advised before offering another apology and leaving.
"Oh my god," Sookie closed her eyes in disbelief. How was this happening? Only days ago Mackenzie had been in Merlotte's, completely full of life. How could she be lying in a hospital bed now and with no hope?
"Eric?" Pam laid a hand on his shoulder, trying to snap her maker out of his trance. "Eric, we need to…"
"No," Eric pulled away from her, shaking his head in refusal. "No she's not…"
It was agonizing to feel her maker's pain. "We need to turn her. Now before anything else happens."
But he wouldn't. He couldn't. "She's not…she can't be. She'll be fine. We'll figure something out."
"I'm sorry, father," Pam tried to calm him. "I really am. But we need to…"
"No," he suddenly snapped, his eyes narrowing as he glared at her. "I won't let her die."
"We don't have much of a choice in that."
"She will not die. She can't," he refused to accept what was happening. "Not yet."
Pam wanted to shake him in hopes of knocking some sense into him. Before she could, however, a nurse peeked her head into the room.
"I'm sorry to interrupt," the nurse glanced nervously at the waiting room occupants. "The doctor asked me to show you to your daughter's room."
Eric nodded stiffly as he brushed passed Pam, not uttering another word. Pam sighed and shook her head as she followed close behind. She needed to make him see reason somehow. Perhaps seeing her would make him realize what he needed to do.
"This is ridiculous," Pam paced the length of the hospital room. She shot a glance at Mackenzie's unconscious form and shook her head. The teen was only growing worse with every passing minute they wasted. They needed to turn her sooner rather than later in order for the change to work. "We need to do this, Eric."
Her maker was in a trance again, his gaze settled on Mackenzie as he grasped her hand tightly. He had barely moved ever since they entered the room, completely still as stone in the uncomfortable chair. Pam didn't understand what was wrong with him. He was stricken with grief, but Mackenzie was dying. The only way to save her, to remain a family at all, was to turn her.
"If we don't do this soon, we're going to lose her," Pam turned towards him, the hospital bed between them. "We need to…"
"No."
She sighed as she crossed her arms. "Get your head out of your ass, Eric. We need to turn her. Now."
"I said no."
"Well if you won't, then I will!" she shot him a glare before moving towards Mackenzie. She had never had the desire to create another. But she would make an exception for this human.
Before could reach her hand out towards the teen, however, Eric had her by the throat. His fangs extended with a sharp click as a growl vibrated through the room.
"Do. Not. Touch. Her," he hissed, squeezing Pam's throat until her hand dropped back to her side.
"Eric…" she managed out.
"Not yet," his eyes narrowed into slits. "No one touches her."
"We're wasting time," Pam winced when his hold tightened.
"Not. Yet. Is that understood?"
She hesitated before nodding, Eric finally releasing his grip. As the bruised marks already began healing, Pam took a step away from the bed, eying her maker closely. "Don't wait too long, Eric. Or we will lose her."
"Out!" he demanded with a growl.
Pam sighed but left, hoping her maker would make the right decision. For all of their sakes.
Eric closed his eyes as the door closed behind his progeny, attempting to contain his temper in. He couldn't lose control now. He needed his mind to be clear, to think of what could be done. He refused to just turn her, to take away the life she deserved to live. But Pam was right. They were running out of time. If he waited any longer, she would be lost to them.
He couldn't let that happen.
Sighing, Eric crumbled back into the chair, his hand immediately reaching for Mackenzie's. She was so lifeless as she lay before him, so fragile as her heart monitor beeped slowly, but thankfully steadily enough. He knew it wouldn't last for long, however. He would have to think quickly.
But as he racked his thousand-year existence for anything that might fix this, he came up empty handed. If Godric's blood hadn't been able to heal her, than nothing short of turning her would work. He had berated every witch he knew for a spell, but nothing they had offered had been enough to change Mackenzie's fate.
"I don't want to lose you," he held onto her hand for dear life. The thought of her losing her light, of being trapped inside of a monster's body, it disgusted him. He had never hated what he was. He had never regretted allowing Godric to give him a second life. But she was his daughter. He had watched her grow, watching as she became a young woman. How could he just take that all away from her?
Was there any other choice, though?
"I can't let you go," Eric couldn't lose her. He couldn't fathom a single day without her. He once detested the mere thought of her, but he had only been fooling himself. She had been his from the moment he carried her from that burning house. "I don't want to,"
his head bowed as he felt the blood begin to pool in his eyes. He tried to remain strong, to be the strength when she had none. But how could he keep hold of that mask when she was dying before his very eyes?
"Dad…" a soft murmur broke him from his thoughts.
Eric's head snapped up, ignoring the blood that was beginning to stain beneath his eyes, and found Mackenzie's eyelids beginning to flutter. Hope coursed through them as he shuffled closer, squeezing her hand to ensure her that she wasn't alone.
"Eric…" her eyes cracked open this time, darting around the room before falling on her guardian. It stunned her to see the bloody tears, to see the sheer destruction on his face. "Eric Northman isn't supposed to cry,"
Her eyes closed briefly as she tried to regulate her breathing. It was becoming more difficult, she realized, and she knew exactly what that meant.
"Reputation be damned," Eric reached a hand out, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I'm dying," her eyes reopened, a frown stretching across her face at the broken vampire beside her. "I'm sorry."
He had never felt this pain before as he tried to ease her sorrow. He hadn't realized it was possible to feel this sort of pain without physical ailments. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
"I should have…"
"You're just a kid, Mackenzie," he shook his head. He didn't blame her for not telling him, either time. She was so young; she couldn't have been blamed for any of this. "It wasn't your right."
A shaky breath escaped her lips. "I just didn't want to hurt you."
"I'm the parent. I'm the one who is supposed to protect you, not the other way around," he was in disbelief that she would risk everything just to keep him from learning the truth, to protect the emotions he never even realized he had.
"You've always been a good dad," she admitted, using what strength she could to squeeze his hand. "Thank you for that."
"I could have been better."
"You were the best," Mackenzie assured him. She couldn't have asked for a better life. Eric had given her everything she ever could have dreamed of, and even more. "I love you."
Eric didn't hesitate as he returned the affection. "I love you too."
Letting out a small cough, Mackenzie shifted as her gaze travelled to the wires and IV attached to various parts of her body. "It's really bad isn't it?"
He couldn't find the words and instead simply nodded.
"How much time?" she wasn't sure if she wanted an answer or not, but she needed to prepare herself nonetheless. She knew it was soon. She could feel it. Just as she had in the basement of that church. She had felt death on her doorstep. She had just been lucky that time.
Eric couldn't answer this time, his hold tightening on her hand.
"Will it…" she tried to swallow back the lump in her throat, trying to keep strong for Eric. He was on the brink of breaking down, a side of her guardian she had never witnessed before. "Will it hurt?"
He hadn't been expecting that question. "I don't know."
"Did it for you?"
He had to look away, unable to stare at her and talk about this. Eric had never expected the day he would have to talk about death with his own daughter. "My death was different than this. I was mortally wounded when Godric found me," Eric had to force back the anger at the thought of his maker, for Mackenzie's sake. "From what I remember, it was painful."
"Do you think I'll be in pain?" Mackenzie was scared. She was petrified. She had accepted long ago that she might not see her 19th birthday. She fought as hard as she could, but she knew that it all might be for nothing. But as hard as Mackenzie tried, she had never been able to envision this moment. Never had she been able to imagine what it would be like to be on her deathbed. And she was scared. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to know what might be after this life. "I don't want to be in pain."
"I hope not," his hands began to shake for the briefest of seconds before he forced himself to control his emotions.
"Me too," she glanced towards the door. "Is Pam here?"
"Just outside."
"Is…" Mackenzie hesitated, unsure of Eric's reaction. "Is Godric?"
He did his best to mask the fury that he felt. "Not yet."
"Oh," her face fell. What if he didn't make it? She needed to see him one last time. She needed to apologize for not listening to him, for disappointing him. She just needed to see his face.
He ached for her. "He'll be here. Soon, I promise. Now get some rest."
The thought of closing her eyes scared her. What if she just slipped away? Without even getting the chance to say goodbye? Eric caught notice of her fear and leaned forward, brushing his lips across her forward in comfort.
"It's going to be okay," he soothed. "Just rest for now."
"Eric, if I don't get the chance to say…"
"Shh," he caressed her cheek. "Close your eyes, Mackenzie."
"I'm really glad you were my father."
He was speechless as she drifted off, her breathing steady. He never left her side, however. He never let go of her hand. He wouldn't unless absolutely necessary.
A/N: Well this was incredibly difficult to write. I am a mess over my own writing, oops. I'm writing again to say you all rock and you don't even realize what it means when I see a review waiting in my inbox. P.S. Please don't hate me just yet. Still might have some tricks up my sleeves ;)
