Downpour.
February 15, 2017.
Seattle, Washington.
It was a strange thing to hear. In his line of work, devastating things came through all the time. He heard of kids with severed limbs, tragically aggressive cancers, and sudden and inexplicable deaths in relatively safe places. He had spent his entire career training to better handle bad news. He was good at keeping himself composed, good at searching for solutions, good at keeping others from losing themselves in the panic. But when the phone rang, and the nurse handed it over to him, his perspective on tragedy changed. He listened, a tremor passing through his insides, and for a moment all he could do was stand there and think about it. Consider it. Attempt to understand it.
He went straight down to them, grabbing one of the surgical residents as he went. He would need his surgeries rescheduled, if they could be. When he left the elevator he found the hallway dotted with sad faces, waiting, watching, uncertain. Their sadness gave him all the information he needed.
He rushed down to the room, staring inside. Cristina was in there. She stood by the head of the table, her hand planted over her mouth, tears welling in her eyes, as Webber worked furiously on the chest of someone Owen had known for quite a while now. She was a friend, and now she looked too far gone. He could hardly look at her empty face.
He heard a whimper and he whipped around. Bailey and Collin were sitting side-by-side on the bench directly across from the door, obscured by the bodies rushing east to west. It was almost a stream of scrubs and white coats.
Owen went to them, crouching down in front of the bench and putting his hands on their knees. He had never seen them look so afraid. He had never seen such a ghostly expression on Bailey – it was reminiscent of when his father had died, when Derek had been lying in this hospital, but now that it was Meredith the boy's agony was much sharper. Owen doubted he would ever forget this, even if it all worked out in the end. He would carry this his whole life.
"Hey, it's okay," he said, cupping the kid's face. "Your mommy is going to be fine, okay? That's what they're doing in there right now. They're helping her get better."
Bailey's lip quivered and he slid forward, wrapping his arms around Owen's neck. He held on like he thought he was going to drift away, and Owen was the only thing mounting him to the ground. Owen shifted around, sitting on the bench beside Collin. He held Bailey in his lap and Collin leaned on him. He looked haunted, too, like he was remembering a personal tragedy.
He sat there for several seconds, craning his neck to see what was happening in the procedure room, before Alex came running down the hallway. He stopped so suddenly that he almost lost his stethoscope. His eyes were wild. "What the hell happened?"
"I don't know," Owen told him, motioning toward the room.
Alex glanced at the window, his expression becoming youthful all of the sudden. Owen had not known them as interns, but he was aware that Alex, Cristina, and Meredith were the last remaining of a close-knit group. They were like siblings, bonded by medicine and hardship over the years. It showed in his face. He had lost his arrogance and his devil-may-care attitude. He rushed inside, shoving one of the nurses to get to Meredith. He would be checking for a fetal heartbeat. If things didn't improve with her, they would have to save the babies.
Owen still watched, though it was like a disaster movie. Someone had attached leads to her, but the monitors showed poor vitals. Her heart was not beating. Her blood pressure plummeted. Her temperature was even going down. Webber continued with the compressions but he could get little circulation going.
"Owen!"
He looked up at another voice, this one originating from the opposite hallway, near the elevators. It was Callie, and her wife was right behind her. Arizona went straight into the room, joining her protégé. Callie came to him, sitting beside him and scooping Collin up. He latched onto her neck immediately, crying, and she rubbed his back.
Callie took one look at the window, and then looked away. She took a settling breath. "Do you know what happened?"
"No. I got the call when one of my residents noticed them come in."
"Did she… arrive unresponsive?"
"As far as I know."
Callie seemed to be getting as much support from Collin as she was giving to him. She was shaking her head, clearly distressed, and tears formed in her eyes. "God, we should've known something like this would happen. We can't be happy here. It just doesn't work like that."
"You can't think like that." He was already thinking of her death. He already saw her funeral, and the sad looks on the faces of her children, and the devastation Cristina would experience, but he wanted Callie on the other end of the spectrum. He needed someone to believe in the impossible. "Meredith is strong. She always has been."
Callie sat up suddenly, hitting his shoulder. "Oh! Oh! I see a pulse!"
He stood up, holding Bailey in one arm and staring through the window. Callie was right. The little monitor beside her bed was showing a low, but steady pulse. Webber had finally stopped his compressions and he was shaking out his arms. For a second it seemed that Meredith was still unconscious, but she twisted her head a little, blinking, and licked her lips.
He smiled, finally taking an easy breath. "Thank god."
Callie was bouncing a little on her heels. She kissed Collin's forehead, murmuring to herself. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
Cristina came to the door, holding her arms out for Bailey instead of Collin. She was smiling and laughing at the same time. "She wants to see him. He needs to know she's okay."
He handed the boy over, stepping inside with her. He was reading the monitors while Cristina took the little boy over to visit his mother. Callie hung back with Collin, speaking quietly to him. Owen had to switch sides to see what Arizona and Alex were up to, and he was glad they were picking up two strong, quick heartbeats from within her womb. Her daughters had survived.
Suddenly Meredith wedged her hands into the table and sat up a little, groaning like someone had stabbed her. She let herself drop heavily, making a loud thud.
"Labor," Alex stated, withdrawing his equipment and beginning to prod at her stomach. He looked around, "We're moving to a delivery room. Let's get this thing rolling."
Just like that, the team of nurses and doctors that had been there to save her life dispersed, with only the specialists remaining. Owen took Bailey back from Cristina so she could follow the party upstairs, and he lingered with Callie in the hall, watching them load into the elevator. Cristina looked up briefly from Meredith, whose hand she was holding, and smiled at Owen just as the doors closed. It was a sad, worried smile, and it chilled him.
"Mommy is going upstairs to have your sisters," Callie said to Bailey, holding his little hand. She was smiling, but there was an underlying tension in her.
Bailey frowned. "I want mommy."
"We can go up and see her later." Callie set Collin down and took Bailey from Owen, patting his back. "Do you want to go to the daycare and see if any of your friends are there?"
He nodded, puffing out his lip.
"I'm gonna go drop him off and check on Mer, you in?"
Owen picked Collin up, pressing his hand flat to the boy's back. Collin hugged his neck, resting his face on Owen's shoulder. He must have been exhausted. It was his nap time and all of this chaos had just unraveled in front of him. "No, I think I'll let him take a nap. He's had a rough morning."
"I'm gonna offer my hands for the twins," Callie said. "Until we know what the hell happened with her, I'm not putting any faith in a smooth delivery."
"If you're not back by two-thirty I'll pick up Zola from school and get Bailey from the daycare. I'll just… take them back to Meredith's house."
"Can you pick up Sofia, too?"
"If that's okay."
"It's fine. I'll text you if I can't get away."
She headed to the elevator, and Owen waited until the doors closed to look back at the room Meredith had been in. He wished he had been there that morning. Cristina must have done chest compressions, but her condition prevented her from being much use. CPR was highly physical. He wanted to know the circumstances of this event. Had something lodged in her throat and cut off her breathing? Had her throat swollen in response to an allergen? Had her heart stopped from the stress of her pregnancy? Was there some underlying condition that would flare up again?
"Let's go get some sleep, buddy," he said to Collin, holding him securely on his way to the emergency bay exit. He hoped Collin would forget most of what had happened. He was very young, after all. He would have an easier time putting it behind him than Bailey.
He laid the kid down in the backseat of his SUV, covering him with his coat and shutting him inside. He stood against the door, staring at the hospital, wondering what he would do it something like that happened to Cristina. It occurred to him that Meredith no longer had Derek to be so worried for her. She was not alone because Cristina filled that hole. The two of them were soulmates. It was nice to know that if something happened to him, and took his life as swiftly as Derek's had been taken, his lover, and his children, would be protected.
He glanced back inside the car, and Collin was watching him. He realized that the anxiety he had felt over the past few weeks had left him in the blink of an eye. It should have been tearing him apart. He didn't understand it, but he was grateful.
He was grateful it was over.
