Chapter 51: Not Always In Blood
The plan was for Maylin to direct us to where the Guardian Force was hidden and we'd then go to Balamb to see what had happened since we left. Since it was a harbour town it could be attacked like FH was. Not everyone could visit Dante. Some of them did before they left, like Quistis and Irvine. Selphie was exhausted and visited once, Zell, Squall and Rinoa didn't for their own reasons. Fair enough for that but a bit of sympathy would have been nice.
They were about to head off and Irvine had come in to see me. I think the others were waiting outside for him to finish.
"Sure you don't want to come with us?" Irvine asked. "We can get someone else to stay here."
"Mate it's fine," I assured him. "You go off and shoot things."
"Ly you've been acting weird since the assassination," Irvine confronted. "What's been going on? Is it this Death and Connection thing again? Look if it is you can tell me, doesn't matter if I don't get it all or not."
"It's not exactly that," I told him. "Dante's head... I don't know what's going on in there. We're kind of in the same boat, but not really, but I can empathise with his situation in a way. Still trying to sort it my head, really," He clearly wasn't satisfied with that answer. "Look when you get back I'll explain everything to you. Mate it's nothing personal. I'm used to dealing with shit myself."
"We're all worried about him, but it's not going to be anything serious," Irvine folded his arms. "He's going to be fine, he probably won't like being cared for like a kid."
"I know, Irv, but empathy never hurt anyone," I said. He just gave a nod, not very happy, but left me alone with Dante. The blonde was scarily still, like he was dead or something. It was creepy how still he was.
Dr. Kadowaki came in after some time passed to check his vitals and such. I kept quiet and shifted about uncomfortably. I didn't like doctors or hospitals that much.
"Normally it would have been Seifer or Fujin or Raijin checking on him," She said. "The amount of injuries he and Seifer would get in a week was staggering; the pair would just push each other to their limits. Dante's never been incredibly sociable outside of that group but I'm glad to see he's making more friends."
"Well he's a good guy, he's still not good around people though," I said honestly.
"He's not used to not having his friends around. I must admit, I never thought the four could be separated," Dr. Kadowaki sighed. "He seems to be okay, just let me know if he wakes up." I gave her a nod as she left, looking out the window. The continent we were on was practically dead and barren. There was a huge structure a bit away and that was where everyone had went off to. Hope they're okay, would be a pain if they all got attacked.
Half an hour later Dante sat up in the bed, staying perfectly silent. He noticed me but he said nothing, staring into space like he was traumatised but he looked it.
"How you feeling?" I asked. He didn't talk to me. It was kind of creepy. A lot creepier than the way he slept. "Mate talk to me, are you okay?" He didn't look at me. He was frozen in place, his mouth open a little as though he was going to talk but couldn't. "Dante you need to talk to me." The guy was absolutely horrified. There was something going on in his head and we needed to figure that out otherwise... I don't know.
"Vanadium controlled my life... for twelve years..." He said slowly. "I remember... little to nothing... he controlled my life..."
"Mate he did it with the best intentions," He was about to snap, I could tell. "Mate I'm not siding with him but you need to see it from his perspective. He really wants to apologise to you," He fell silent, gripping his wrists tightly in agitation, like he was bottling the anger inside him. "I understand what you're going through, and it's not everyday I can say that to someone."
"How can you understand?" He asked, a hiss was in his voice.
"Well, for one I know what it's like being pushed into something you don't fully understand but are made to do," I stated. That wasn't what I was going to tell him. "When I got back from Spira, my family were terrified of losing me again-"
"So they controlled you?"
"Mate let me talk," He still wasn't looking at me. "It was eight months after I got back. I'd settled back into school, we'd finally gotten the random media reporters away from the houses. Mind I said my parents are divorced?" He nodded. "Honestly, I still felt weird after it all, even after settling back down. They saw that, they all got together one day after school, sat me down, and we talked about it. I found it really hard to talk about, because... it really shook everything I believed was real and what wasn't. My family could see me staring into space, noticed I went to the shooting gallery in town more, hung around my brother's workplace after school and shit. When I look back on it, I really had become more withdrawn. I internalised the whole ordeal and the only person I could talk to about it was on the other side of the world, going on with her life, no matter how much we tried to make time to talk."
"... So what happened?" Dante asked quietly.
"... I never really told them... the full reality of what happened," I admitted. "I told them that, when I went missing, the whole thing changed me. I wasn't ever ready to talk about it, but I would try to put it behind me, so we could all put it behind us, and tell them when I was ready. My family have been nothing but supportive of one another, even after Mum and Dad divored, because they always taught me that no matter what, you build your family and you never abandon them when they need you."
"Wish I had that. My parents split when Mum found out Dad was a vampire, don't know where he is, then Mum abandoned me because she couldn't deal with an abomination like me," He said slowly, angrily.
"Your family isn't always in blood. My dad isn't my biological dad, and Michael isn't my biological brother," I told him. "Mum was young when she had me; guy who got her pregnant dropped her when she told him. Never even met the bloke so I can't call him my dad at all; my real dad is the one who helped my mum raise me and Michael. Mike's older, but his mum left him and Dad, same way Mum's boyfriend left her. I mean, sure they've split now, but that's because their feelings for each other changed. Dad could have taken Michael and left me and Mum but didn't, because we're still family. Vanadium isn't your brother by blood, shit you knew that already, but that doesn't change the fact that he loves you and wants to protect you. Doesn't make what he did okay but he didn't do it out of badness," I remembered what Dr. Kadowaki said and got up. "Dr. Kadowaki wants you to stay for a little longer to check your health and stuff. I'll go tell her you're up; you want me to stay?" He gave a slow nod and I headed to the door.
"Why did you tell me that? Why does telling me really matter?" I turned around and saw that his eyes were bloodshot and dull. Something had happened when he got rid of Fenrir. It was like his livelihood had been drained away.
"You needed to know that you weren't alone," I shrugged. "Seifer, Fujin and Raijin aren't your only mates, you know. They're not your only family." He nodded slowly. I'm not sure what was scarier: his anger or this sudden depression he had delved into.
