A|N:
I AM SO SAD! THIS CHAPTER MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL! SOMEONE HOLD ME!
Seriously. This chapter is fuckin... ah too much!
Please lemme know how you felt about this chapter, as well as the story so far. I really want your feedback so please review if you can't. Love you guys :D
TWD is not mine just my oc's
"You're leaving?"
"But why!?"
"You don't have to leave, Lyss, come on now..."
"I have to..." She explained to them, her voice stone cold. "I have to find out what happen to my family, and not just for me anymore. For Marie... and for them. I have to find peace in myself.."
"I have to become whole again."
Daryl sat there in the empty cell block, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in his head. They had let Alyssa out of the cell to pack her things, say good bye and also to apologize to Beth before she left. The rest of them went back on with their daily lives, but he just couldn't do it. He didn't know how to handle this. He wasn't prepared for this kind of situation. It was something he had never really needed to worry about. Losing family. He never even had a family in the first place. Now he had a wife.. and kids. It was surreal to him. When Daryl thought Alyssa had died, he had to learn to let go for the sake of Carol and Marie but this was so much different. She was alive now, she had a choice to stay or to go.
Alyssa had chose to leave him, and now it was breaking his heart.
How the hell do we say goodbye, Lyss, after all we've been through?
How the hell do I just let you go?
Beth was in her room. It had become so lonely since her father had past. She missed the sound of his voice, his hugs and kisses. Just everything about him. Most of the time she just sat in her room and cried, but today she just sat there with no more tears to cry.
"Bethy.." Alyssa knocked at her door, standing there in the door way with her left hand scratching the back of her head, "Can I come in?"
Beth nodded yes.
Alyssa took a step into Beth's cell, "I'm sorry Beth.. about everything.."
"No I'm sorry.." Beth replied, "Sorry for making you not feel like part of the family anymore." Alyssa didn't reply. Leaving an awkward moment of silence. "I heard you're leaving."
"Yup. Tomorrow mornin' bright and early."
"To find your real parents, right?" Beth asked her.
Alyssa sat down next to bed on her bed, "Or what's left of 'em.. what ever comes first really."
"I hope you find what your looking for.." Beth looked at Alyssa from the corner of her eye.
"Me too." Alyssa looked back at her, that's when she realized Beth was crying.
"You're my best friend, right?" Beth asked her, and Alyssa nodded yes, "Then tell me something.. why leave when your so happy here?"
Alyssa sighed, "That's the problem... I'm not." Alyssa bit down on her thumb, "You know what happened to your parents, I don't. It kills me inside, 'n haunts my worst nightmares. I need to know..."
Beth leaned over and hugged Alyssa, who leaned over to hug her back, "I'll miss you."
A tear fell down Alyssa's face, "Shit.. same here."
As they let go, Alyssa and Beth gave each other one last smile before Alyssa got up from the bunk and started to walk out of her cell. Before she was gone, Beth's voice called her back, "Alyssa?"
"Hm?" Alyssa asked, turning only her head around.
"I'm so sorry.. about Connor.." Beth told her, with the sincerest apology.
Alyssa nodded in agreement, "So am I."
When Daryl finally left the empty cell block he headed back to cell block C to his cell. As he walked up the stairs, he could hear two voices arguing. He knew who it was. God dammit, what is she doin' now? Daryl could see the inside of his cell, where Marie and Alyssa were fighting.
"We are leavin' and that's final!" Alyssa screamed as she packed her bag. Marie was standing in front of her bag, her things all over the place. "Pack yer damn bag already and stop arguing with me, Marie."
"I'm not leaving, your not the boss of me!" Marie cried out. The poor girl had tears rushing down her eyes. "This is our home! Don't you like it here? Don't you want to stay with our family?!"
"This isn't our home Marie!" Alyssa argued as she threw more of her stuff in her bag, "And this is not our family.."
"Yes they are!" Marie screamed out. Her voice echoed against the walls, making Daryl's ears ring and his heart ache. "Carol's our mommy and Daryl's our daddy, and we belong here with them and everyone else! We deserve to be here! You're not making me go!"
Alyssa turned from her bag, slamming her foot down as she yelled back, "They are not your parents, he is not your father and you don't have a choice!"
"Yes they are!" Marie screeched, "They are my mom and dad, and if you don't think so too then you can go to hell!"
Alyssa froze in place, "The fuck did you say to me?"
"I hate you, Alyssa!" Marie cried out as she pushed past her and ran away. As Marie ran out of the cell she saw Daryl standing there, his red watery eyes watching the whole thing go down. Alyssa turned around to see him standing there, she couldn't move, it was like she was frozen in place. Daryl had felt the same way and all he could do is stare at Marie, his heart broken baby. Marie's tears, overwhelmed her, her sobbing getting uncontrollably worse. "Don't let her make us leave, daddy, I don't wanna leave you.."
Oh fuck.
This ain't your choice, Dixon, they ain't yer kids. They ain't fuckin' yers. No matter how bad ya want them to be. They'll never be yers. They've already chosen to leave ya. Just like everyone else does. They made their fuckin' choice. They don' love ya, 'n they sure as hell don' want ya. No one ever has. Don' make this harder on yerself. Just let 'em go. Don' even bother...
It was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Daryl didn't want to face the issues in front of him, he didn't wanna hurt anymore, or make Alyssa hate him more than she clearly wanted to. So Daryl just turned, quick on his toes, and ran back down the stairs and back to the empty cell block. Marie's sobbing in the back round cause him to break down.
"I told you, he's not your dad..."
Daryl was back where he was before. Where he had been his whole damn life. Alone and in pain. He couldn't dare go back and look Marie in the eyes after what he had done. He paced back in forth on the perch of the empty cell block, his face full of old dried tears and new ones. He felt gross, like he was sick or dying. Maybe this was just a dream. That's it. It's a dream, a sick fuckin' dream. This isn't happenin' they aren't really leaving me. I'm gon' wake up tomorrow and the next day 'n every day fer the rest of my fuckin' pathetic life 'n they're still gon' be here. My baby girls..
They ain't really gon' leave me...
"Fuck." Daryl screamed out loud, "Fuck... fuck, just FUCK!" He slammed his fist into the wall next to him. Over and over again till he made his fist bleed. Daryl could feel himself on fire. All he wanted was to feel something, anything, because in this moment he could feel nothing at all. It was as if he had become numb, and it was driving him insane.
Why me? Why is this fair? Please... I don' want them to leave me...
"Daryl?"
His head turned quick to the sound of the soft spoken female voice calling out his name. Carol was at the second to top step, holding onto the rail with on hand, her other on her big baby belly. Her eyes a shiny red, her cheeks dry from crying. Fuck dammit.. Poor Carol.. Too fuckin' stupid thinkin' of myself.. I forgot to see if yer ok...I know ya loved them too.. so fuckin' much..
"I'm..." Daryl's voice cracked, "I'm.. are ya okay?"
Carol went up the last step, shaking her head. "No." She started to sniffle, her tears gathering quick. She inched closer to Daryl, who greeted her with open arms.
As she fell into them, he held her close, playing with her short grey hair. Covering her head with kisses, "Me either.."
"They.. they're our girls, Daryl, we can't let them leave.. to be alone out there by themselves.." Carol sobbed into his chest, "They're our babies.. our family."
"But that's jus' it.." He whispered between tears, his head forehead rested on the top of her salt and pepper grey hair. "They ain't ours, Carol, 'n if they wanna leave we can't stop them... No matter how bad we love 'em."
Carol clung on to his shirt tighter, "I'll miss them so much.."
"Me too baby..." Daryl told her kissing the top of her head once more, "Me too."
