A/N - Thanks for the reviews. I just wanted to make sure there were readers who wanted me to continue on. I wanted everyone to know who reads my stories that I will never write a story where Santana or Brittany get raped and I will never write a story where they or their children die. I don't feel comfortable writing those types of stories. I did include in this story about Brittany have a miscarriage which is losing a child and is a traumatic life event. Many couples unfortunately experience the tragedy of a miscarriage. They may struggle and lose their way sometimes but they will always find their way back to one another. After getting your reviews I added some to the chapter. Hope you like the chapter. Happy Valentine's Day!
Chapter 51
It's been three weeks since Charlie's red blood cells had been increasing in healthy numbers. There's no sign of cancer in her blood cells at all. She's starting to get stronger but she is still very weak. The entire time she had been in the hospital she had been receiving physical therapy to keep her muscles active. Since she was too weak to get out of bed and stand on her own the physical therapist would come to her hospital room and move Charlie's legs and arms for her.
This week has been special because since she is feeling a bit stronger the physical therapist is working with Charlie on walking and building up her arms muscles as well. Charlie is happy because she gets to leave her hospital room and go to a special physical therapy room for patients whose immune systems are weak because of cancer or other illnesses. She has to wear a mask, gown, and gloves when she is wheeled in a wheelchair to the therapy room but once inside the room she only needs to wear her mask. Santana and Brittany were both there for her Charlie's first day in the physical therapy room and they were happy their daughter was going to be able to get up and walk again, however, their happiness suddenly turned to sadness when they saw the pain on Charlie's face with every step she tried to take. They really broke when Charlie cried out in pain one time. It was one of those times as a parent they both had to put on their brave faces and be there for Charlie even though inside they were crying. They wanted to be there to support and encourage Charlie so they found a way to be there for the next four sessions without falling out apart.
Today Maribel and Linda went to Charlie's morning physical therapy session with her. She's getting stronger and is using a walker to walk. She has also been strengthening her arm muscles by throwing a ball back and forth with the physical therapist. Maribel and Linda were happy to see Charlie moving around but they could see the discomfort on her face. It was painful to watch their granddaughter struggle with activities like walking and throwing a ball that were so easy for her a few months ago. They both were extremely proud of Charlie for her strength and determination. She never said she couldn't do something no matter how difficult or painful it was for her.
Santana and Brittany had spent the morning at the school having their final parent teacher conferences for Collin, Maya, and Riley. The kids would be on summer break soon. They were glad that even though Collin had been approved for the gifted program they had decided to keep him in regular classes at least for this school year. When the decision was made Santana and Brittany asked Collin if he wanted to be part of the gifted program or if he wanted to stay in the regular classroom. He didn't hesitate in saying he wanted to stay in the regular classroom this school year.
After the conferences Santana and Brittany were going to the hospital to see Charlie and spend some time with her before going home and spending the night with the rest of the children. Carlos was watching Matthew for the morning until Maribel got home from Charlie's therapy session.
"Mom! Mami!" Charlie shouted when she saw her mothers enter her hospital room. Charlie wasn't able to see the big smiles on her mothers' faces because they were covered by masks. It was such a welcomed change to have Charlie sitting up in bed and smiling when they entered the room.
"Hi sweetie", Santana said as she kissed Charlie's forehead. Brittany didn't say anything she just kissed the tip of Charlie's nose through the mask which caused Charlie to giggle like it always does.
"Look at what the nurses gave me!" Charlie held up a coloring book. "I haven't colored in forever." Although she was weak she was able to hold the crayon and color the picture.
Brittany looked at the coloring book and saw it was an animal coloring book which was very appropriate since Charlie loved animals. "You are doing such a great job!"
"I want you to take this picture home and put on the refrigerator so Collin, Maya, Riley, and Matthew can see it. When I can they come see me?" Charlie asked as she quickly glanced at the picture frame on her hospital table of her brothers and sister. Brittany had taken the picture last week and Santana bought the purple frame to put it in.
Santana look at Brittany wondering what they should tell Charlie. Now that she was feeling better it was clear Charlie was missing her siblings and she hadn't met Matthew yet. Next week is Charlie's 4th birthday and they were hoping the doctor would say it would be ok if they had a party and that the whole family could be there including the other kids. They were going to ask the doctor when they met with him later that day for their daily progress report on Charlie's health.
"We can't tell you when they can come see you but it should be soon. They miss you and want to see you too." Brittany said as she sat on the edge of Charlie's bed.
"When I can go home? I feel a little better." Charlie stopped coloring and looked at her mothers.
"I know it's hard being here especially now that you are starting to feel better but you need to stay until you feel a lot better. You need to be here so the nurses and doctors can take care of you and give medicine when you need it." Santana tried to explain so Charlie would understand.
"But you give me medicine at home when I'm sick. Why can't you and Mom give me medicine at home?" Charlie pouted.
"The medicine they give you here is special medicine that Mom and I can't give you. Only the nurses and doctors can give it to you. Charlie, you'll be able to come home sometime soon but we all have to be patient. Mom and I want you home with the family as much as you want to come home."
"Ok", Charlie said softly and then suddenly she perked up. "Guess what? Tada!" Charlie shouted as she quickly took off the knit cap that had been on her head. "My hair is growing!"
Sure enough for the first time in a couple of months there were tiny, dark strands of hair growing on her head. Santana and Brittany both felt an emotional lump form in their throats. Charlie's hair growing back was another sign that her body was growing stronger. Santana reached over with her gloved hand and gently stroked Charlie's hair. She could imagine how soft the hair would feel if she could feel it through her glove. "That's awesome sweetie!" Brittany leaned down at kissed the top of Charlie's head. Charlie put the knit cap back on her head and continued coloring.
The next three hours the three of them watched TV and ate lunch together. Charlie slept about half the time they were there but it was sleep her body needed so it could continue to recuperate. They had their daily progress meeting with Charlie's doctor which went very well. He said it would be ok for Charlie's siblings to see her at the hospital on her birthday. However, he did say he would like to limit the birthday celebration to Santana, Brittany, and the kids. Santana and Brittany understood and knew their parents would understand too. They could have their own birthday celebration with Charlie the next day. The best news was when the doctor told them if Charlie kept improving at the rate she was improving she might be able to go home in two weeks. They knew when Charlie came home her medical care would continue which would mean daily trips back to the hospital for blood tests for awhile and watching Charlie closely for any signs of infection or that she was getting sick again. The doctor had already told them it would be at least a year before Charlie was medically in the clear to resume all normal activities.
Finally it was time for Santana and Brittany to leave and go home. They really hated leaving Charlie at the hospital alone but there were times it couldn't be helped. Maribel and Carlos would be coming to spend time with Charlie soon and stay until visiting hours were over.
"Sweetie, Mami and I are going to go home now. Your abuela and abuelo will be here soon to see you." Brittany could see the tears fill Charlie's eyes instantly.
"I don't want you to go." Charlie said as big tears fell down her face. Brittany turned to look at Santana who had tears in her eyes too. This was the first time Charlie had gotten upset when they left. Another sign she was feeling better but it still broke her mothers' hearts.
Brittany pulled Santana turned to talk to Santana in quiet voice so Charlie couldn't hear them. "I'll go home and you stay until Carlos and Maribel get here. I'll take a taxi and leave the car for you." Santana knew Brittany wanted to stay too but one of them did need to go home because Brittany's mother Linda had been watching the kids since they got home from school, and Linda and Stephen had dinner plans with old friends they hadn't seen in years. Santana and Brittany insisted that while their parents were helping them out during Charlie's illness they allow time for themselves too. Brittany knew if she called her mother and said Charlie didn't want them to leave and they were staying until the Lopez' arrived that her mother would cancel the dinner plans and she didn't want that to happen.
"Britt, I'll go home and you can stay." Santana felt like it was a no win situation for either of them. Brittany said quietly, "You stay", before turning to say goodbye to Charlie.
"Sweetie, Mami is going to stay until abuela and abuelo come to see you and I'm going to go home so I can give the kids the awesome picture you colored for them. I love you Charlie." Brittany kissed Charlie's cheek.
"I love you Mom." Charlie wrapped her little arms around Brittany's neck and held tight.
Brittany turned to Santana with tears in her eyes, "I'll see you when you get home."
Brittany left Charlie's room and walked into the room where they take off their gowns, masks, gloves, and shoe covers. She had just finished taking everything off when she heard the door open. Thinking it was probably another parent she didn't pay any attention until she felt a gloved hand on her arm. Even through the glove she knew the touch belonged to Santana. She turned to look at Santana who had taken her mask, "Why are you in here? Is Charlie ok?"
"Charlie's fine she's coloring again. I told her I'd be right back."
"But now you are going to have to go through the whole process again of washing your hands and changing your gown before you go back in Charlie's room." Brittany was confused as to why Santana had left Charlie's room.
Santana didn't say anything as she took off the gloves and gown. Brittany watched her confused as to what she doing. Santana stood directly in front of the Brittany and looked into her eyes for a few seconds before kissing her and then hugging her. They melted into each other arms. It had been their safe haven the past few months. Santana then whispered in Brittany's ear, "I love you." When Brittany heard this she felt a shiver go down her spine for the first time in months. They had told each other they love each other every day but the way Santana said it this time was different than all of the passing I love you's they had shared over the past few months. Santana noticed how Brittany's body had reacted to her saying I love you.
"I love you too." Brittany barely got out but the three words had the same effect on Santana as they had had on Brittany.
They both pulled back from the hug so they could look into each other's eyes. The look was one they hadn't seen from each other in awhile. It was the look they gave each other that took the other one's breath away. It was the look they gave each other that said I need you both physically and emotionally. It was the look they gave each other that said I'm here for you. It was the look they gave each other that said I am going to love you forever.
They leaned in and shared a kiss that started off slowly and gently but then became a hungry kiss like they were sharing their first passionate kiss. When they pulled apart they rested their foreheads together as their chests rose from breathing harder.
"Britt baby, we've been so worried the past few months about Charlie and whether she was going to be ok. We've tried to be there for the other kids as much as possible and when we couldn't be there our parents, family, and friends were there for us. We were stressed about the pregnancy and in the end it turned out Matthew was our little miracle. Now that's Charlie's getting better and hopefully will be home soon. I think it's time you and I took some time just for each other. When was the last time you and I were alone? When Charlie was so sick we didn't sleep in the same bed most nights because one of use was here at the hospital. Now that we are sleeping in the same bed we end up with at least Maya and Riley in bed with us every night. I've missed you even though I've seen you every day."
Brittany wiped away the tears that were falling down Santana's face, "I've missed you too. How about tonight we make our bed a kid free zone? We'll tell Maya and Riley they need to start spending the night in their own beds again. I can understand them wanting to spend the night in our bed because they felt safe not quite understanding what has been going on with Charlie. They stayed in their own beds most every night before Charlie got sick and they need to get back to that routine. I just want to fall asleep with you in my arms."
"I want that too Britt. I'll talk to the twins when I get home about them staying in their own beds. I'd better get back to Charlie. I'll see you at home." Santana and Brittany shared another passionate kiss before going their separate ways.
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Brittany sat in the rocking chair in their bedroom feeding Matthew his bottle. Santana was in charge of getting Collin, Maya, and Riley ready for bed and tucked in for the night. Brittany watched Matthew as he drank his bottle and wondered what would've happened to Charlie if Matthew hadn't been born. Brittany immediately put that thought out of her mind because Matthew was born because it was meant to be. However, her mind wandered to another baby that for some reason wasn't meant to be.
Flashback
"Ok our time is up. Everyone did a great job today!" Brittany said goodbye to the dancers as they left class. She walked to her office and wiped the sweat from her face and forehead before drinking half a bottle of water. Suddenly she felt a stomach like cramp that made her groan. It had been happening for the past hour or so and the cramps were getting more painful. Thinking that maybe going to the bathroom would help Brittany went to her office bathroom.
Brittany came out of the bathroom as Puck knocked and walked into her office, "Britt, I want to go over the numbers for theā¦" Puck looked at Brittany and noticed how pale she looked at how she was grimacing in pain and holding her stomach. Puck hurried to her side, "Are you ok?"
Brittany nodded her head no, "I'm bleeding a little and having cramps. Call Santana and tell her to meet us at the hospital." Puck quickly helped Brittany out to his car while at the same time calling Santana.
Santana was in a meeting presenting a new ad campaign to one of her biggest and most popular clients when she felt her cell phone vibrate in her blazer pocket. She ignored it only to have it vibrate again and she ignored it again. A few seconds later Sugar, who was still Santana's assistant, knocked on the meeting room door. Santana's first response was to be upset about the interruption but she knew Sugar wouldn't interrupt unless it was urgent. Santana walked over to the door while Sugar whispered in her ear. Since Santana didn't answer Puck's cell calls he called her office and spoke to Sugar. Santana with a panicked look on her face turned to the people in the room, "I have a family emergency we will have to reschedule this presentation." Santana rushed out of the meeting room and then was on her way to the hospital.
Santana hurried into the ER and saw a worried Puck sitting there, "Where's Britt? What happened?"
"She was having cramps and bleeding a little so she asked me to take to the hospital. That's all I know. They took her in the ER as soon as we arrived."
Santana quickly went to the reception and a nurse took her back to where Brittany was in the ER. When Santana walked into the room Brittany was lying in a bed with her eyes closed. She was wearing a hospital gown and had an IV in her hand. Santana didn't want to startle her so she quietly walked over to the bed and gave her gentle kiss on the forehead. When Brittany felt the kiss she opened her eyes and looked into the brown eyes of her wife. "I'm sorry." Brittany said in a slurred way that let Santana know they had give Brittany something for pain.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. These things happen with a lot of pregnancy and everything turns out ok." Santana held Brittany's hand as she spoke.
"No, the baby is gone." Brittany said as the tears fell down her face.
Santana was confused, "What do you mean the baby is gone?"
"I was just bleeding a little but when I got here the cramps got worse and I bleed a lot. The baby is gone and I'm sorry." Brittany cried hard.
Santana realized finally what Brittany was saying, she had had a miscarriage. It was the last thing Santana thought would happen. Brittany was almost 9 weeks pregnant and the closer you get to the 10 weeks the risk of a miscarriage goes down dramatically.
"Oh, honey you have nothing to be sorry for this wasn't your fault." Santana leaned down and hugged Brittany. Brittany held on and sobbed.
"I must have done something bad why else wouldn't I be able to get pregnant for years and then when I finally do I lose the baby."
"Britt, you haven't done anything to deserve any of this. Miscarriages happen to a lot of women." Santana continued to hold Brittany.
End of Flashback
"Maya said she'd try to stay her bed tonight but it would help if she could have chocolate chip pancakes in the morning. Riley just said ok Mami." Santana said as she walked into the bedroom laughing but she stopped when she saw Brittany had tears running down her face. Santana quickly knelt by the rocking chair, "Honey, what's wrong?"
Brittany shook her head, "It's silly. I'm fine."
"You're obviously not fine and something that makes you cry isn't silly. Tell me what's wrong so we can talk about it."
Brittany had Matthew on her shoulder and was rubbing his back while he slept. "I was just wondering why some babies are meant to be born while others aren't."
Santana knew Brittany was talking to the baby they had lost. "I wish I had answer for your question but I don't and I wonder the same thing."
"I wonder what he or she would've looked like." Brittany asked.
Santana put her hand on top of Brittany's hand that was rubbing Matthew's back. "He or she would've been one of the cutest kids ever. He or she would've been loved so much."
"When I think about the miscarriage I can't help but think about Maya and Riley. If I hadn't had a miscarriage we wouldn't have them and I can't imagine our lives without them." Brittany's tears continued to fall.
"I think we have to have faith that we are given the kids we are meant to have. Unfortunately for us that meant we lost one to get Riley and Maya. Here let me change Matthew and put him in his crib and then we can get into our own bed." Brittany kissed Matthew's cheek before Santana took him and put him in his crib.
Brittany was already in bed waiting for Santana when she finished putting Matthew to bed. When Santana got into bed Brittany opened her arms and Santana fell into them. They held each other tight because it really had been a long time since they held each other like this bed. They savored just being together for the next several minutes until Brittany spoke. "Are we going to tell Charlie about the birthday party with the other kids or is it going to be a surprise?"
"I think we should tell her because that way she will have something to look forward to. Now that she's feeling better it's going to be more difficult for her to staying in the hospital." Santana loved laying her head on Brittany's chest and hearing her heart beat.
"What about the $750,000 settlement money? Since we decided to not ask for more money we haven't really talked about what to do with the money?" Brittany asked as she stroked Santana's arm.
Santana turned her head to look at Brittany, "Let's not talk about anything tonight. Let's just be together."
Brittany smiled at Santana before kissing her, "Sounds good to me."
TBC
Next chapter the birthday party and Charlie meets Matthew.
