Chapter 52

Jason's point of view

I teleported Mera back to our place in the woods after we were finished dancing for the night. She looked up into my eyes.

"I am going to miss you tonight." I told her.

"You do not have to be without me tonight." She told me, I did not think she knew how hard it was for me to say no to her. But I could not make love to her yet, not without her knowing the truth of me. It would feel like I was using her and she is worth more than that.

"Yes, I do." I told her. She sighed and rested her forehead to mine.

"You are killing me, you know that?" She said and I laughed.

She kissed me in that moment, her hand going into my curls. There was nothing I could do but hold her closer and deepen the kiss. I wondered if she knew how she consumes me, how just with one look she could make me do just about anything. Her kiss is something else entirely, on a whole other level.

"Please make love to me, I need you Jason." She begged as I looked into her eyes when the kiss ended.

"I am not saying no, just not tonight." I told her.

"This is torture." She said, her voice deeper as she looked into my eyes.

"You have no idea." I told her, shaking my head. She laughed.

"I should get some sleep, I need to train my unit in the morning." She said.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you." Mera told me and kissed me, one deep, long kiss that was definitely going to make me regret not taking her up on her offer tonight.

I watched her walk off, she glanced back and gave me a bright smile before setting off in a run towards the house. I would know that smile anywhere, she still has the same smile she had a thousand years ago, the one that captured me. I took a breathless breath and shook my head. That was when I felt the shield come down around that area I was in. I was on my guard at once, ready for anything.

"I was right, she does make you into a better immortal." Came the feminine voice behind me. I turned around and knew the goddess before me.

"Ennina." I greeted her coolly, already fearing why she was here. "No sword?" I asked, knowing of the weapon created to kill me.

"I did not come here to fight you." She stated.

"You cannot take her from me again." I stated, trying to stay calm. The thought of losing Mera again was maddening. I felt Zenophian squirming within me, but I did what I could to keep calm.

"We are not going to." She told me. "We need her too."

"Not like I need her." I told her.

"I always knew you loved her." She stated. We were both silent for a time.

"So what now?" I asked. "Will you expose her to the evil that I am?"

"We will not tell her who you are or what you have done." Ennina told me. "That is something you must do, and soon. I know you are holding my brother."

"He is not being harmed anymore." I told him. "I am taking good care of him."

"Even a gilded cage is still a cage." She told me. I saw the storm within her sky blue eyes. "I have seen how you are keeping him and that he is helping you, but if you care about my brother, your friend, at all, you must tell Mera the truth soon and let Ariston return to her."

"She is going to hate me." I stated.

"You are right, but only for a time." She told me. "I have seen your future, Mera will be your wife." I was stunned.

"She loves you, deeply, passionately, but she will never be only yours again." Ennina told me. "Mera loves my husband and my brother, they are her soul mates as well, and if you love her, you will honor that." She was silent for a time before continuing. "Dark times are coming, and soon we will fight on the same side."

"We already do." I told her and she smiled.

"You have no idea how glad I am to hear that." She told me.

"Mera tells me you are to marry my son." I said to her.

"I am." She told me with a smile. "I love him."

"How is he?" I asked.

"He is a king," She told me. "He is doing everything in his power to hold this world together while your Shadows try to rip it apart." I nodded. "Is there anything you wish for me to tell him?" I shook my head with a heavy soul, one laden with regret.

"No," I told her. "No apology can make up for the things I have done." I looked at my granddaughter in her sky blue eyes, her fathers eyes. "Keep her safe."

"We will do everything in our power." She promised and I nodded.

The shield around us disappeared and I teleported away to my bedroom. Nell was sound asleep in my bed. I smiled and then changed into sleeping pants and laid down in my bed. I stayed up thinking for a long while, worrying, which seems to be what I do best these days. A few hours later, I was finally able to sleep.

I dreamed of the woman I love. It was right after I had been released from Tartarus and put in a small place in Asphodel. The place was a wasteland, there was no more torture, but none of that mattered. I was numb, the torture and suffering I had endured had broken my spirit to the point where I no longer cared if it continued or not. Nothing mattered, until I saw her face.

I sat with my back against the wall of the small one room hut I had been given. My body was caked with dirt and other less pleasant things. I sat there, wanting nothing more than to die, when the door to my place opened and a goddess stood in the door way. It was one of the most unreal sights I had ever seen. The sun was bright, casting her figure with a glow.

She wore a long blue dress, her wavy brown hair was in an intricate braid that hung down her right shoulder. She was more beautiful than any woman I had ever set eyes upon. But beyond the beauty of her face, what captured my attention the most were her brown eyes, they were the color of fresh turned earth. To me they spoke of spring, of fresh air and laughter, of the warm sun and the cool breeze.

It did not cross my mind that a creature such as me was not worthy of something so perfect and glorious and beautiful as her. I was too lost in the moment, in the kindness and compassion in her brown eyes, in the smile that lit her lips. Her smile was so bright and warm, so pure and full of honesty. In that moment, for the first time in thousands of years, I felt something other than hatred, something other than pain and torment. I felt something I had forgotten existed. I felt the purity of hope.

"Hello." She spoke to me in her symphony like voice.

"Hello goddess." I greeted her softly.

"I am no goddess." She told me with a smile, as if she thought the idea was funny. "I am a spirit. I am here to clean you up." It was then that I noticed the wooden pail and wash cloth in her hand.

"Go right ahead." I told her. I could not take my eyes off of her for fear that she would disappear.

She walked over to me and kneeled down to sit on her knees at my side. Her proximity sent the oddest feelings though me, things I was not used to feeling. There was a lightness within my soul, a warmth spreading through me. She took her wash cloth and dunked it in the water, rang it out and then brought it to my forehead and began washing off the dirt. Her hands were tender and careful.

"What is your name?" I asked her.

"Lyra of Ithaca." She told me "I am queen Persephone's handmaiden."

"Persephone?" I asked, not recognizing the name.

"She is Hades wife and a wonderful goddess. You have her to thank for your freedom from Tartarus." Lyra told me. "She is a daughter of your son Zeus."

"How many children does he have now?" I wondered. She laughed as if I had made a joke.

"Many and more." She told me, her bright smile still in place as she met my eyes. Her eyes were not guarded or careful, they were curious.

As I watched her, I began noticing other things. Such as the shape of her full lips, the elegance of her nose and cheekbones. My eyes scanned over every part of her face. Then her eyes met mine again and she smiled as a blush came over her cheeks.

"You are not scared of me?" I asked her.

"Should I be?" Lyra asked.

"Do you not know who I am?" I asked her, wondering if this woman knew whose house she was in.

"Of course I know who you are." She told me. "But we are more than our past and our sins. I believe that given the right intensive, anyone has the potential to be better than what they were."

"And what would this incentive be that it could save someone like me?" I asked, her smile grew. I noticed that her smile never left her lips, it waxed and waned like the moon, growing and then settling into a slight smile.

"The only cure there is." She answered my question, looking into my eyes. "Love."

"Love?" I asked, wondering if that was what I was feeling.

"It is more powerful than hate, and far more consuming in my experience." She told me as I gazed into her eyes, wondering if she shared this odd connection I felt to her.

"You are beautiful." The words left my lips before I knew I had said them. Lyra's smile grew at my words.

"Thank you." She replied and continued to clean me.

She placed her hand on the side of my face to move my head and I gasped at the contact. She jumped back and removed her hands, clearing startled. Worry was in her eyes.

"Did I hurt you?" She asked. Try as I might, I could not speak, I could not even move. She watched me, still worried. "Are you alright?" She asked. I was even more amazed that she worried for my well being.

"Yes." I said softly, looking into her eyes in wonder. "You did not harm me." We sat there perfectly still for time as she looked into my eyes. I began to wonder if she had felt it as well, or if I had been alone in feeling the rush of warmth that surged from her contact and left me tingling.

"May I?" She asked after a time, raising the cloth. I nodded.

She slowly placed her hand back on my jaw, I suppressed the gasp this time, yet still the feeling flowed through me. She wet the cloth again and began wiping the dirt from my lip. I continued to watch her, my fascination knew no bounds when it came to her. She met my eyes and her warm smile grew again.

"How did you end up in Persephone's service?" I asked her. I could no longer contain my curiosity.

"In my mortal life, I was a princess of Ithaca. I was descended from Odysseus himself." She told me with pride. "I was married to a good man when I was twenty. I grew to love him greatly and very deeply. After many years of trying, we finally conceived a child. You can imagine how happy we were. The birth was… difficult, but I persevered and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy." Her eyes were filled with a beautiful joy that was mixed with a deep sadness that twisted within my soul. "My son, he caught a fever when he was a week old. My husband Eriokles and I gave him the medicine we were told he needed and brought him to the alters of Hera and many other goddesses, praying for his return to health.

"He seemed to be getting better." She had tears forming in her eyes. "One morning, I held him as I fed him, looking down upon his little face. I held him in my arms when he was full and he smiled up to me, as if to tell me that everything was going to be alright. I laid him down in his crib and went back to sleep. I awoke to my husbands screams a while later. I ran into the baby's room to find my husband holding our baby… he was blue." She took a shaky breath as she went on. "My husband and I were distrait after our sons death, and just when I needed Eriokles the most, he left. The loss of our son was too much to bear, he blamed me.

"After my husband left, I had nothing left to live for. I went into my baby's room and looked around at the happiness that had existed for just two weeks before it was all taken from me. I picked up a toy that his father had bought for him, then made my way up to the cliffs and looked out at the sea that stretched out for an eternity. I took one step, and then another, until I stood at the edge. I held my sons toy to my broken heart as I jumped. I did not even feel the rocks below.

"The next thing I knew, I was standing on the shores of the river Styx, making my way towards the ships. When I was judged by king Hades and queen Persephone, I was given the sentence of a year in Asphodel. But Persephone took pity on me and asked of her husband to make me her handmaiden. He agreed and since then I have been living a good life in the palace. It has been nearly three hundred years since the day I was judged."

As I looked upon her, I came to realize that all the torture I endured in Tartarus was nothing compared to the pain I felt at seeing Lyra suffering, knowing what she has been through. Her sad brown eyes met mine and she smiled to me as best she could.

"I am sorry for saying all of that." She said. "The memories are so easy to get caught up in. Even after all this time, I can still feel him in my arms." I shook my head softly and without having to think twice, I took her hand into mine.

I wanted to make all her pain, all her suffering disappear. I did not know what to say, there was nothing I could say to make what she had been through okay. Lyra looked up into my eyes and did not look away. The sadness began to fade from those brown eyes that were coming to mean so much to me.

"You know, you are the only one who after hearing my story, did not tell me I would get over this with time." She told me.

"How can I make you a promise like that when I do not know if you will?" I asked her.

She gazed into my eyes and again we were silent. In that moment, holding Lyra's hand, for the first time in I did not know how long, I was content. There was no where else I wanted to be. I did not know what she was doing to me or how she was doing it, but I cared, for the first time in years beyond count, I cared and it was for her.

Then she smiled to me and began washing me again, but she did not let go of my hand. She washed the rest of my body off, my arms and my legs and torso, but left more private parts for me to clean. She seemed to be taking her time and I was glad she was. I did not want her to leave, knowing that I would most likely never see her again after this. I doubted that the gods would ever release me from the Underworld, but if Lyra was there, if by some miracle I could see her again, I would happily spend the rest of forever in this realm.

I knew I was a fool to even imagine a world where a woman such as her could be meant for me, but I could not control the feelings taking me over while being in her presence. The thought of never seeing her again was a torment I could not bear, but what could I do about it?

Lyra washed me once more, taking her time again and removing the dirt I did not see. I wondered if she was stalling our goodbye. As I looked at her, watching as her eyes met mine and her smile widened, 'goodbye' became the most painful word that had ever existed. I did not know if I would be able to say it to this beautiful woman.

Lyra smiled to me again and made me forget about goodbyes for now, I was just going to bask in the radiance of her presence while I could. I returned one of her smiles and her smile grew.

"You should smile more often." She told me. "You look handsome when you smile."

"I will work on that for you then." I told her, giving her another smile. Her smile grew again.

She began washing my face again and as she placed her hand on my cheek to reposition my head, I placed my hand over hers. I did not know how she could make me feel like this after being in my presence for less than an hour, all I knew was that I felt what I felt.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" I asked her. She shook her head.

I held her hand on my cheek, then brought her other hand that I still held up to my lips and kissed it tenderly, with all the emotion I felt in my moments with her. I placed that hand upon my chest, caressing her fingers. I had no words to explain my actions, I could not explain them to myself. All I knew was how desperately I wanted to kiss her.

As she looked into my eyes we were both lost in that silence again. After a time, she smiled to me again and slowly removed her hands from my grasp. My soul ached for her touch, but I did not move to take them back. She was not meant for me, she could not be. She was too good, too beautiful, too pure to ever want a creature such as me.

"I must be going." She told me. I nodded, she looked into my eyes for a time more before gathering up the wash bucket and now dirty rag. She was walking for the door when I knew I had to say something to her.

"Thank you." I said to her. She turned to me and gave me one last bright smile, though there was something unreadable in her eyes. She nodded to me and then closed the door behind her.

I woke in the morning, thinking over the dream and everything else that happened afterwards. Of the day she was taken from me.

It was not just that the gods took Lyra from me, it was that they took me away from her. I knew how much I meant to her, and after everything she had been through, for them to take her away from the first being to truly bring her happiness is hundreds of years… it infuriated me that the would hurt her like that. Zenophian used that hate I felt, twisted it in my mind and making me want to get revenge for what they had done to the woman I love, to that pure and beautiful spirit.

I felt like I had betrayed Lyra. She was sweet and kind. She gave me her love, her trust, her body and soul. And at the first test we faced, I turned into the monster she saved me from being. I unknowingly hunted down those who would one day be her family. She gave me her love, and all I have given her is pain. How can I expect her to love me after all I have done?

Ariston was right though. She has not changed. Someday, she will forgive me and she will want me. If I was any kind of a decent man, I would let her go and stay away from her. Let her be with Ariston and Cronus, with gods who deserve her. But I was far to selfish to let her go or push her away. I loved her too much, I was helpless to her. So for now I would continue to see her as often as I could.