Earthbound: My Version TOTAL REDUX
Chapter 43: CHRISTIANS DONT BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION!
Okay, so we all went to the Dinosaur Museum in Foreside. There were EVEN MORE REPUBLICAN RIGHT WING CHRISTIAN TEABAGGERS inside! They were protesting the dinosaur museum because Christians don't believe in dinosaurs, don't believe in evolution, and think that just because scientists date fossils by the rock layers they are found in and rock layers by the fossils found in them, it somehow creates a time paradox. (AN: THIS IS ALL TRUE! CHRISTIANS ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS CRAP!)
So we saw a guy near the end guarding a door. "I CUNT LET YOU COME IN UNLESS YOU HAVE VENUS" he said.
Then Venus took off her clothes and make out with the guy while rubbing his dick. "I like your banana," she said, making him cum. Then he sucked her boobs and she took off his shirt. Then she took off his pants to see... HE HAD A SMALL PENIS!
"OMG Your dick is FOUR INCHES!?" Venus shouted, and everyone in the museum laughed except the Christians because they had small dicks too (Because all Xian's have small penises. TRUE STORY :P Also, Christians can never have sex because the Christian god doesn't like it but it doesn't matter because he doesn't exist.)
Venus took out a whip and killed the guy with it. We opened the door and found a hole into the sewers. So we stuffed all the republican conservative Christians into the hole and made them eat all the sewer stuff so we could get the next sanctuary.
We got out of the sewer and saw a giant magnetic rock! We all decided to cover it in out cum, so we did. Also, I got the power from Magnet Hill into my sound stone.
