Chapter 53: In which there is quiet and then yelling

Namine awoke the next morning to Riku shaking her gently. Except… it wasn't morning. Her internal clock told her it was almost 3 AM. It was a little hard to see Riku in this darkness, but her eyesight was better than a human's, so she could see the smile on his face, if not the brightness in his eyes.

"Hey," he whispered, once he saw he had her attention. "You up to going somewhere? I wanna show you something."

Namine blinked a few times at him. A part of her wanted to tell him no, that she'd rather sleep—not that she needed the sleep—but he sounded so eager. She sighed and sat up, nodding. "Alright. Sure. Do I need to get dressed?"

"Nah, I'm not. Not like we're going somewhere where there's people."

"Okay." She swung her feet out of bed. Riku grinned at her. "We gonna be gone all morning?" Namine asked. "I don't wanna worry Aerith."

Riku shook his head. "Should take an hour, tops, and I left her a note, just in case." He grabbed her by the hand, then grabbed the star shard Aerith had given him off his bookcase. "Ready?" He waited for her nod of approval, then activated it.

In hindsight, she should not have been surprised to see Destiny Islands.

"C'mon." Riku pulled her a little closer to the shoreline, then sat down. He stuck his feet out, so the waves lapped at his toes. Namine sat down as well, though she did not stick her feet in the water.

It was much brighter, here, than it had been in Hollow Bastion. It was later in the morning, though, and there was a glimmer of sunlight on the horizon. Just a glimmer. He'd brought her to see the sunrise. The thought made something warm swell in Namine's chest.

They sat there, waiting, neither of them saying a thing. That was something she and Riku were good at. Quietly enjoying each other's presence. After a couple minutes, Riku reached over and grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. She let him. Then, she did something she had not done in a long while. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He didn't say anything, just pressed his cheek to her hair for a moment, before straightening again.

"Any minute now," he whispered.

It was much longer than that by the time the sun was high enough to really see, but it was well worth it. The way the light sent pinks and streaks of gold across the water was absolutely breathtaking.

"Oh… it's beautiful!" Namine gasped.

"Isn't it?"

"I guess I understand why you started coming here every morning."

"Not every morning!" Riku protested. She could almost hear him grimace a second later. "Okay, well. It's… It's a great way to start the day…"

"I bet."

Namine shifted her weight against Riku, but didn't move. She kept her face turned out towards the ocean, eyes drinking in the sight before her, trying to take in every detail. She wanted to capture this moment, this feeling in her chest. She wanted to hold onto it forever.

"Thank you…"

xxx

Even leaned back in his chair, eye closed, breathing deeply and waiting. Hopefully, the program he'd written to translate Riku's Code—so they wouldn't have to keep doing it manually—looked like it was finished. Or, it would be soon. 7 was looking over it now, and Vexen still needed to recheck it, since Even had made changes since he'd last checked. But, they were coming along. Soon. It would be soon.

And, after Riku's Code was translated, then they just had to install the Darkness Protection Protocols. That might not fix all of his problems, but it would be a start. 7 was working on the rest, anyway, and if anyone could figure it out, 7 could, for sure. Even would leave him to it.

"Ah, Alpha, there you are!" 7 said. Even did not move, but he did raise his eyebrows. Alpha, here, of all places? "I was wondering if you could look over—Alpha?"

Even opened his eyes now, swiveling his chair towards the doorway. He turned just in time to see a glimpse of Alpha as he left. He let out a long breath. That was not surprising.

"Alpha, hey!" 7 called after him. "I just have a quick question! Surely you can't have something more important to—"

"I'll go deal with him," Even said, pushing himself to his feet. He had a feeling he knew what this was about, at any rate. It was always the same. He just wished Alpha would stop acting so childish. No, he may not have really been that much older than a child, when it came down to it, but Zexion—and Ienzo—had always been so mature, so it was a little exasperating to see one of his Replicas act this way.

"Alpha!" he called, once in the hallway.

"I don't want to talk to you," Alpha called back, turning the corner ahead.

Even sighed to himself, though he hadn't expected much different. He picked up his pace to follow. "Alpha, please," Even said. And then, to make it sound like he had less personal reasons for chasing after Alpha, he added: "Listen, I've managed to be told from various people what all happened while I was gone, but each and every one of them suggested I should talk to you as well." He had to raise his voice for it to carry to Alpha, which he regretted terribly. "At the very least, I would like to—"

"I said, I don't want to talk to you!"

Even grimaced, then closed the distance between him and Alpha at a brisk pace—he would not run—so that he no longer had to yell. This was to save Alpha some embarrassment as much as anything else.

"Alpha, you are a grown man," he said, in a tone just short of scolding.

Alpha stopped walking entirely. He stood rigid for a moment, shoulders shaking, and then he rounded on Even. "And you are not my father!" he hissed.

Even blinked a few times, rather taken aback. He understood, though. This was not the first time they'd had this argument, this was just the first that Alpha had been so to the point with it. He started to speak, but then paused, reconsidering.

Alpha took his silence as an opening.

"Don't think I don't know what you tried to do," Alpha threatened. He took a step towards Even, pointing an accusing finger—his distress was clear in his wide eyes, if not in his carefully guarded tone. "Ienzo became Zexion, and Zexion left you in the dust for Xehanort, so you Replicated him in order to get your son back."

"That's not true," Even said. He tried not to scowl or to sound too defensive. He didn't think he succeeded. Still, he had not made the Zexion Replicas to replace the real Zexion. Only a fool would try to do that.

"That's how you treated us!" Alpha argued. He was shouting, now. Shouting. What had happened to him? He'd always had a good control of his emotions before this whole Rebellion thing. And, there was an almost paranoid glint in his eyes that would not seem to go away. Even had not noticed sooner, but then, he had not had the chance to talk to Alpha before now.

"You treated each of us like we were Ienzo, like we were your son!" Alpha continued. His voice shook. "I am not your son."

"I… I know that, Alpha," Even said. It was an effort to keep his voice calm.

Alpha's eyes flared wider. "Stop treating me like it, then."

"I'm not trying to."

Alpha considered him for a moment, then nodded. He sighed, straightened. "Alright," he said. He watched Even as if he expected that wasn't the end of it, though. "Then, if you'll excuse me, sir, I have other things to do."

"Of course," Even told him. He did his best not to cringe at the contempt that sir had carried. He cleared his throat. "May… May I ask you one question, though?" He'd pieced together enough of what had happened in his absence to not really need to ask Alpha for any details, except regarding one question.

Alpha looked very much like he wanted to say no—and Even wouldn't blame him if he did—but he thankfully relented after a moment.

"Yes, sir?"

Even cleared his throat again. Just because he wanted to know the answer did not mean he was eager to ask the question. "I was… told what happened to all the other Zexions," he said. "That they were Deactivated. No one seems to know the hows or whys, though, except that you are the person to ask. Could you tell me… Alpha!?"

Alpha had seized as if struck. The cautious mask of emotions on Alpha's face shattered again, revealing despair. Alpha swallowed a few times to get his mouth working, and then he spoke. Even could not have possibly been prepared for what he said.

"I… I executed Emergency Protocol… uh, 3…"

Even staggered. He'd expected no good news, especially considering how shifty Amaryllis had been on the subject, but he had not expected this. He could not have expected this. Emergency Protocol 3? And only on the Zexions? Had… Had he even given the Emergency Protocol passwords to Alpha?

"You- You Deactivated them?" Even asked, when he had the air in his lungs to do so. Suddenly, Alpha's paranoid glances and overall lack of composure made sense.

Alpha only nodded. He appeared to be on the verge of tears, and put an arm against the wall next to him for support.

"Only… the Zexions?" Even did his best to keep his voice steady, to treat this as professionally as he could manage, though he much wanted to ask Alpha if he was alright, comfort him, do something. But he had told Alpha he wouldn't.

"I- I had to hack into the Program I had no passwords and I had to do them each one at a time," Alpha explained in a rush. "I in-intended to get around to everyone else, as well, maybe, but, but I—" He took a few breaths, but spoke no further.

Even's stomach bottomed out. One at a time.

One at a time.

Alpha's behavior definitely made sense now.

"You didn't have to…" Even began.

"I couldn't let Saix have them!" Alpha shouted, cutting him off. "I couldn't bear the thought of working for him, of letting him be in charge, and to think some of my brothers were okay with it!?" He was trembling, his face a contorted mess of emotions. "I know it wasn't my choice to make, and I know I shouldn't have, and I know that if I did it I should have at least had the decency to Deactivate myself with them!"

"Alpha! Don't you dare speak like that!"

Even could not say he approved of the actions or the decision, but there were plenty of things that had happened while he was gone he could not say he approved of. And, just because he did not approve did not mean he should take it out on Alpha, or let Alpha carry on like that! It wasn't his fault. It was none of their faults. Even was the one at fault, for not ensuring that there was a rigid enough structure in place to sustain the Program in the event of his death. Over one hundred lives, and he had managed to fail them all…

"But I should have!" Alpha argued, and he was still screaming. "I should have! It wasn't my choice to make. I had no right to Deactivate the rest of them. I don't deserve to—I… I shouldn't have done it. But I was angry. I- I was scared."

"Alpha…"

"Don't touch me!"

Even pulled his hand back before it reached Alpha, swallowing hard. Alpha had asked him not to, but he wanted to. He wanted to. He'd do anything to comfort Alpha—and perhaps Alpha was right, in a way. He had not made the Zexion Replicas to replace Ienzo, but he could not help to see him in them. He did not mean to treat them the same way he'd treat Ienzo, it was just second nature sometimes, and it was hard to see that face so distressed and not do anything about it.

"Couldn't we always… Reactivate them?" Even suggested, in an attempt to cheer Alpha up, a little. It didn't work.

"Yeah, if we could find their bodies," Alpha retorted. "I only know for certain where Delta's is, and—" He cut off, glaring hard. Strange, when he and Delta had been such good friends. Maybe something had happened…? It would be no surprise, amongst everything else.

Even swallowed. His next words were familiar ones. "You… You should be less hard on yourself, Alpha."

"Less hard on myself?" Alpha repeated, then he laughed, bitterly. Tears glistened in his eyes, and they made Even's chest ache. "Less hard on myself? I killed them…"

It was all Even could do not to grab Alpha and comfort him. It was all he could do.

"From what I understand, what happened when I was gone was nothing short of a war," he said, cautiously. Alpha may not want him to say it, but he'd be damned if he didn't do something, even if it was only as little as this. "Deaths are unavoidable, in a war."

Alpha just shook his head. "I didn't have the right…" he said, again. He sounded exhausted now.

"What's done is done," Even told him. You couldn't take your actions back so easily. You couldn't change the past. Surely, Alpha understood that.

Alpha only shrugged and headed off, rubbing at his head. Even let him go, though it was not easy. That was all he could have done, though, all he could have said. He just hoped it was enough.