Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.

Rated M for several reasons.

Chapter 50 That 007 Moment

BPOV

Carlisle and I had a great night.

Dinner was a hoot and I suspect that 'hide the food' is never going to get old. And I've a better idea for next time involving a clutch and the ordering of only dry cooked dishes . . . .

The play was good and he let me drive on the way back.

And arriving home may have helped solidify a few things, since Edward was waiting . . . .

...

"I can't believe you agreed to be part of the Bachelor Auction after I got you out of it."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Mom Brow.

"I thought it might make you jealous."

"Well congratulations Muppet." I snap, yanking his tie unnecessarily tight.

...

I let Freya and Jasper accompany Muppet the Merciless on his odyssey.

I hope he gets purchased by some old crone though I fear a very different outcome . . .

...

They were back by eleven.

Freya and Jasper blurring away into the trees while Edward joins me hanging from mine, plucking his tie off and stowing it in his pocket.

"Who bought you?"

"The bidding was intense and I believe I was the most expensive lot of the night."

"Who bought you?" I insist over his teasing tone.

"Jasper. I'm doing his tax returns for the next two decades."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"Jasper has three hundred twenty seven active identities."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." He sighs, synching his swing with mine. "Anyway. 'She who knows stuff' has a strong feeling that next Saturday would be an excellent day for us to go skydiving. Would you like to? If I can switch my shift at the hospital?"

"Okay."

...

I wish I knew what's wrong with me. I'm all over the fucking place.

I agreed, reluctantly and under his merciless insistence, to go on a date with him and I must have intended to go through with it because I told Carlisle. But now I'm actually going on a date with him, in five days time, I seriously don't know my ass from my elbow. I don't think I've been this epically useless in my entire life. Possibly when I first realised I was pregnant but I can't remember, though I did make Renee and Phil coffee with gravy browning. She drank hers, that woman has always been so strange . . . .

She'd think this was so romantic, bless her, I wish I could tell her. Yeah Mom, bumped into that childhood sweetheart, yeah, that one, going on a date with him. Maybe not, she'd probably think I've taken leave of my senses.

Somewhere deep inside me the mature sensible woman I used to be is probably alternating between shaking her head, rolling her eyes and pissing herself laughing.

The mature sensible woman that is Rose certainly was when I blasted into her bedroom and begged her to help me decide what to wear on a skydiving date. Turns out my normal attire was considered more than suitable, however she ordered that we go shopping for jeans that actually fit me and try out styles on my hair because no one, not even me, can carry off helmet hair without forward planning.

...

"These are too tight." I whisper from the changing cubicle, knowing they can hear me.

"Bella, don't be a wuss." Rose growls.

"Yeah Mom." Chips in her little, okay, six two, understudy.

I'd always craved a brother rather than a sister and these two are reminding me why.

"Seriously." I hiss. "I have camel toe."

Yep, laugh it up Freya.

"Here. Try these." Rose suggests after the new pair of jeans has flown over the door and landed on my head.

It doesn't take long to struggle from one pair of skinny jeans to another.

"I'm not sure . . . ." I hedge.

"Is there toeage?" Rose demands.

Quick check . . . .

"No."

"Then come out and let the experts decide."

"Fine."

"Shit." She huffs.

"What?" I ask, twirling round to see if my butt looks big or something . . . .

"Bella, you are a small but perfectly formed package." She sighs. "We're getting those. In fact if I were you I'd get several pairs while I can."

"Yeah Mom. No girl's Mother should have a better butt than her Daughter."

"What if I rip them?" I ask, swaying my hips and listening to the denim protest quietly.

"Easy test." Rose assures me.

Check for humans. Squat. Thrust. Imitate a Cossack. Kick leg over head. Jeans ripped? No? Good to go . . . .

I bought four pairs.

I also bought a pair of black leather boots with a vaguely sensible heel that were almost as tight as the jeans, a matching leather jacket and a white t-shirt. I have lots of t-shirts but apparently they're all designed to hide boobs and a date t-shirt is supposed to accentuate them. This white t-shirt, I was assured, is practically see through to another vampire making the right bra essential, so I bought one of those too.

They're like two blonde Bren's.

Freya and Rose, not the boobs, that would be weird . . . .

...

I am excited. Scared. Annoyed. Curious. Excited. Nervous. Disgusted with myself. Amazed at the turn of events.

The symbolism being placed on this date is ridiculous. It's not like we're going to fall out of the plane, into bed, and a long happy ever after. That's ridiculous.

I have tried my 'datefit' on a hundred times, you can do that when you're a vampire.

I have practised my 'authorised' hair-do until I can reproduce it with my eyes closed.

I have physically swung from my tree and mentally beaten myself insensible.

And I still don't know why the fuck I agreed to this . . . .

...

A rap at my door . . . .

"Mom, Edward's waiting downstairs."

"Okay."

Oh fuck.

The world has officially stopped making sense and I am going on a date with Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

...

My date is pacing the ground floor, looking as nervous as he did when confronting Charlie's guns to take me to play baseball. Though not so nervous his eyes don't rake me over appreciatively from feet to hair.

"I would have brought you flowers." He informs me earnestly. "But Freya told me that was extremely 'last century'."

"I like flowers."

"Duly noted." He offers me his arm. "Shall we?"

"I'm scared of heights." I admit as he shepherds me out to his car.

"I know. I'm a little surprised you chose this."

"That makes two of us."

"We could always do something different, the idea was to spend time together, not torture you."

Oh thank god. Tell him Bella, anything, just not skydiving . . . .

"I've already psyched myself up to do this."

You stupid . . . .

"Okay then." He laughs, throwing the car into gear. "Let's go jump out of a perfectly serviceable airplane."

And we're off, roaring down the driveway like the hounds of hell are chasing us, I'd forgotten just how insane his driving could be . . . .

...

I'd built myself up to such a fever pitch of nerves it was like hitting a wall when we arrived and I discovered we had six hours, six hours, of school ahead of us before any terror would be forthcoming.

Our fellow, and far more fragile, lunatics were two girls from Portland, Jules and Sasha. To say they were taken with Edward would be an understatement, the Instructors weren't impressed though, Edward and I could hear them muttering whenever they thought we were out of earshot. Apparently 'women' are one of the perks of the job. I wish I could have read their minds though, did they think Edward was going to carry the girls off for a gang bang before they got a look in?

It would hardly seem likely since he had eyes only for me. I know, I could feel them, like a constant breeze gently lifting the hairs on my skin. I've always been acutely aware of him whether I wanted to be or not, but to be out and about with him, deliberately together . . . .

...

I wasn't impressed when I found out the difference between Static Line Parachuting, which we were going to do, and Tandem Skydiving which would have seen me safely strapped to someone who knew what the hell they were doing. And I paid much more attention than a vampire really needed to the training. Nevertheless with Edward's presence, his constant use of any excuse to touch me, his unwavering attention, quietly amusing observations and words of encouragement by the time we climbed into the airplane the only things I could remember were how to count to three thousand, something about bending my knees and, thankfully, where the emergency cord was. Just not necessarily in the right order . . . .

...

I can't look . . . .

"Sasha's 'chute is open too." Edward informs me, squeezing my hand.

"You're next Edward." The Instructor yells cheerfully over the rushing wind. "Get to the door. Go!"

He throws me a dazzling smile and then he's gone. They don't give you time to fuck about once you're up here and the one most likely to bail, ha-ha, is last so they can't ruin it for everyone else. Which is me . . . .

"Ready? Get to the door."

I nod and assume the position . . . .

"Go!"

And with that the puny human, shoves me, the vampire from higher up the food chain, out the door.

I feel the line pull taught, jerking me slightly, before the rushing wind drowns out everything but the sound of my screamed words.

"One, one thousand. Two, one thousand. Three, one thousand. Oh please God . . . ."

I know the parachute is open before I look up but nothing is going to stop me checking it anyway. It's big and blue, my new favourite color.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Holy fucking shit. I jumped out of an airplane! Oh my god. Charlie! Mom! Look at me! Oh my god. Just look at the view . . . . I'm talking to myself . . . . oh god I'm so relieved I can still talk to myself . . . . obviously I never expected to die, but oh my god . . . . this is amazing . . . . I'm so fucking high . . . ."

I laugh my way, semi hysterically, the ground where Edward, to the delight of Jules and Sasha, catches me expertly in his arms.

The parachute magically collapses around us with a whisper of fabric, shrouding us from view as Edward bears me gently to the ground.

Which is, absolutely, why I throw my arms round his neck and kiss him, pulling him to me so I can devour him like I've never been able to before.

There's no hesitation, no careful creation of space to let the human hormones subside, only his mouth responding feverishly to mine as he rolls me beneath him and takes control. The first time I've ever felt his full weight on me. My hands slide down to his back, clenching into the fabric of his jump suit which tears as my muscles take on a life of their own, arching me up into him. His hands deftly remove my helmet so they can invade my hair, yanking the pins out and obliterating any need for the pre skydive hair care . . . .

I never got to kiss him first, plunge my tongue inside his mouth, his razor sharp venom coated teeth were too dangerous. And our bodies could never move together like this, he was so strong he could accidentally crush me and all of it was such a threat to his self control, his desires torn between wanting me and wanting to eat me.

I can only sense one threat to his self control now, only one desire driving him . . . . I've waited so long for it . . . . I crave it so badly . . . . vampire libido or mine . . . . right now I don't give a flying futon and my legs fasten themselves around his waist possessively . . . .

But through it all I can, vaguely, hear girly giggling and smell human . . . .

"Ahem. Doctor Cullen? Bella-Ms Anatidae? Are you both okay?" One of the Instructors asks, embarrassment clear in his voice.

Edward wrenches his lips away from mine.

"We're fine." He replies, sounding perfectly calm but fixing me in place with dark eyes that betray that . . . .

"Okay. Good. Um, we'll just wait by the truck . . . ."

"You do that." Edward murmurs before attacking my mouth again with renewed vigour . . . .