Where are you guys?

I hope on Holiday as, last update, I got three reviews. Pretty frustrating...

Hope to hear your voice soon, especially as some good stuff is waiting for you.


Have you ever wished to observe your life from outside?

Floating in the space and watch yourself doing stuff, saying things, living?

I guess it would be a dreadful experience…

When you feel this need, when things start to fall apart, when life messes with you, it's better to stop and close into a room, open a big window on the world and stare.


"That was…" Cristina mumbled, searching a word in her head which could define what they had just seen.

"Blood curling..." Owen offered, taking a quick look to Teddy, who was walking beside him, lost and in deep thought. Apparently Derek's stern remark had hit her hard.

"I just can't get how that was possible… I mean… she was talking and cooing with Shepherd quietly and then…" she waver her hands, mimicking a bubble of soap taking off and then dissolving in the air.

"She disappeared in front of us. Right there" Owen said quietly, taking in a deep breath "I think I should go and look for the Chief… see how he's doing"

"He probably went home, Owen" suggested Teddy, uttering the first words since they left the gallery "he drove her home…"

"Yeah… you're right" he said, patting her shoulder to comfort her, his lips stretching in a weak smile. Teddy rolled her eyes.

"Don't give me that look, Owen. I'm fine"

"You don't really look like you are…" he pointed out gently.

"I totally deserved that… this morning we buried him in good principles but… God… I had no idea how this could feel…"

"You could not have, Teddy. And Derek knows Meredith did wrong finally. I guess that's the reason why he accepted all this without blinking"

"The public pillory, you mean?"

"Right that… I don't think it was easy for him to accept what she did. It was wrong on so many levels… but he tried to go beyond the medical problem… and seeing what happened before, I have to say I understand why he did it"

"Now I do too… and I feel horribly…"

"It's useless now, Teddy. I think we just have to stop and let things cool off. And you need to consider if you want me to go ahead with what you asked this morning or if I have to let it go"

Owen shook his head lightly to shut Cristina up. She was going to talk and last thing he needed was her questioning him about the morning events.

"For me the topic is done, Owen. And even Bailey… I think what she witnessed shifted her judgment a lot. I'll talk to her anyway"

"Good. Let me know. I talked with the Chief this morning. He wants a closure too. But he doesn't want to be involved in it"

"Understandable" they stopped in front of the attending lounge and Teddy sighed. "All right… I think I'll go home now. Henry is waiting for me" she smiled seeing Owen's curious expression at the mere mention of her boyfriend… husband… whatever.

"How is he?" he asked concerned.

"Fine. Webber's…" Teddy trailed off "well… Bailey's clinical trial was postponed so… we're waiting for her to call us but… at the moment he's fine. Gardening… adjusting stuff at home"

"Keeping oneself busy is a good way to spend the day" Owen chuckled.

"You wouldn't say that if you saw how he reduced my perfect and gorgeous geraniums".

"Not a green thumb?"

"At all…" she smiled, gripping the doorknob "All right… I'm better going now. See you tomorrow, guys"

"Bye, Teddy"

She disappeared behind the door and Owen and Cristina resumed walking down the corridor. He searched her fingers and interlocked them with his, giving her a small smile. After seeing a woman… someone's wife… disappearing right in front of him, it felt good to make body contact with her fiancé and, despite the public place, Cristina didn't comment.

"Are you ok?" he finally asked, squeezing her hand gently.

"Yeah…" she smiled, sensing Owen wasn't really believing her. "I just feel I'm growing soft"

She rolled her eyes and Owen looked to her upside down, his brows furrowing.

"What?"

"I feel for Derek, you know? And I'm not supposed to…"

"Why so?" Owen asked, amused by Cristina's behavior. He found cute how she thought showing sympathy could make her weak.

"As I hated his guts… I used to… whatever…" she waved her free hand and looked to him "It was kind of our trademark… pretending to hate each other"

"You found it funny?" he grimaced.

"Oh yes…" she said grinning "Mc Dreamy was far an easy target for me. I could push his nerves like a consumed director…"

"What a good way to spend the day…" Owen said ironically and Cristina swatted his arm playfully.

"You just said gardening is good. Why not spanking Shepherd?" she asked innocently raising Owen's snort "Ok… fine" she conceited "anyway I don't feel the same satisfaction anymore. After what happened… it lost its appeal"

"Well… I think it's kind of natural, you know?"

"You think?" she arched her brows "I don't know" she said defeated "I guess it's also the knowledge it's kind of abuse Shepherd day… It's not fun anymore when everybody else does it too"

"That's quiet an explanation… " Owen chuckled. Turning serious immediately though "I feel the same too, though, I'm sorry for him"

They made some step and Owen could hear Cristina's heavy intake of air.

"Did Bailey really ask you to fire Meredith?" she asked, calm and detached. Owen sighed himself. Being Chief in a hospital where even walls had ears was proving to be testing for him.

"I don't think that was her purpose, Cristina"

"So she asked you to fire her not to have her fired? That's pretty coherent" she muttered.

"I just think things are complicated but I'll sort it out, ok?"

"Ok, Chief" she smiled to him and Owen felt there was no mockery in that surname.

"So…" he started gently "will you stop your part of Shepherd abuse?"

"I was very kind to him today…" she defended herself, ignoring Owen's look.

"You call that being kind?"

"Why?" she shrugged "I didn't say anything…"

Owen looked away, almost resigned.

"That's right the point, Cristina. He was asking for your help and you dismissed him"

"I didn't"

"You did…" he cut her off, stopping in the mid of the corridor, hands on his hips. Cristina closed her arms across her chest, looking to him defiantly. Owen didn't want to fight, but he felt to explain her something about male psychology. "Do you think it was easy on him to rely on you like that?"

"What?" Cristina's eyes grew wider.

"Shepherd is a man, Cristina. He's proud and honorable and honest. And he knows you better than you think. Do you think it was easy for him to ask you if his wife is fine?"

"I…" Cristina started but stopped, suddenly not knowing what to say.

"Right… he was admitting to be in a difficult place… not knowing how to face Meredith on some topics and you blew it"

Cristina looked down, shame filling her heart. She hadn't been sensitive enough to perceive that and Owen took her hand.

"Derek values your opinion and trusts you, Cristina. I know you probably didn't want to turn him down but… you did. Men don't often ask for help like that"

"You're right. I'm sorry" she looked up, her eyes laced with concern "it's just sometimes he scares me with all this sentimental crap… he talks his heart open and… I don't know what to say. I'm afraid what I might say can hurt him and I don't want to. I'm not a jerk, Owen. I just don't know how to tell him what I think"

He smiled to her, squeezing both her hands. He lifted his palm and caressed her cheek, feeling her relaxing in his touch.

"I know you're not a jerk, Cristina. On the contrary, you're caring and passionate and Derek wouldn't come to you if he didn't think the same. But he also knows you are direct and almost cruel sometimes. I think it's also the reason why he comes to you. Maybe he needs that"

"What? Me… spanking him?" Owen chuckled, shaking his head. Cristina was kidding, the light grim curling her lips proved that.

"You being friend to him. Your legend of mutual hate would survive anyway, Cristina, trust me"

"I do… and ok… I'll talk to him"

"Good… that's my girl"

He brushed her cheek tenderly and then chuckled.

"What?" frowned Cristina.

"Were you serious about your… hesitations to be in the delivery room with Meredith?"

"Hell, yes. She's my person but there are boundaries to friendship, Owen"

"Cristina…" he smiled compliantly and she turned serious.

"I'll be there if she wants me. And if Derek agrees. I'm just playing it light. I don't want to impose myself. Meredith is already freaking out enough about the moment"

"So she is… freaking out?"

"What do you think? We weren't talking about your sex performances a couple of evenings ago. She was whining and complaining about her OBG. Do I look like a person to complain about that?" she asked indignant and Owen smiled, a laughter bubbling up his throat.

"No… at all"

"Right what I said… And I don't want to be in the same room of Meredith, Derek and another man sticking his hands in her pussy till the elbow"

Owen grimaced, the image knotting his stomach. She looked to him pleased to have finally expressed her concerns.

"You think that too, Owen. I was sure about that"

She walked away patting his ass mockingly and he watched her disappearing behind the corner, an amused grin on his face.


Derek thanked his lucky star. Nobody was in the attending lounge when he sought refuge in it. The place was silent and dark and he stripped from his labcoat and scrubs, the urgent need to feel cold water running down his body.

He pulled off his sneakers and socks and, just in his boxers, stood in front of his locker, opening the door and taking out the little bag containing shampoo, gel shower and a comb. He had left his bathrobe in the bathroom the previous week so walked in, sighing in relief acknowledging even the showers were unoccupied. He turned the water on, sensing the temperature with his opened palm. The flow was freezing and he waited patiently till it warmed a bit. When it reached the desired level, he stepped under the faucet, a rain investing his body. He leant both arms against the wall and lowered his face, relaxing feeling rivers flowing down his hair, his forehead, his nose. Water was dripping down his chin over his chest and down, washing away everything. His brain cleared from every thought, his mind went blank and Derek felt his cells regenerating under his skin. It was a wonderful sensation and he enjoyed it for several moments. He was startled when he heard the door of the lounge opening. Probably somebody was having his same idea and he activated his tired muscles. His hand squashed the bottle of shower gel and a little soap reversed on his palm. Derek splayed it on his thighs, he rummaged his belly and chest, massaged his sides and arms. He almost flinched while massaging his own neck. He was feeling a crick developing from his vertebras and sighed, he was going to be sore in the evening and he didn't need that. He had great plans and he needed all his strength, all his energies. He was going to take Meredith to their new house, he had ordered a catering service a romantic dinner and he wanted it to be perfect. He rinsed his body carefully, feeling a little bit better second by second. He spilled some shampoo on his scalp and started to message it energetically. The action was more to let the headache drift away than for the cleaning purpose. His curly hair was stuck to his forehead when he finished and he passed both hands on his face, to rinse the remaining water away. He turned off the water and took the towel, adjusting it around his hips. With another he dried his legs and torso, feeling his own skin fresh and perfumed. He stopped a moment in front of the mirror, fogged by the steam the hot shower had generated, and adjusted his hair out of his eyes. He reversed his favorite cologne on his hand and tapped his cheeks and neck, the familiar musky scent tickling his nostrils in a pleasant way. He tilted his head to the side, admiring the result and then walked out of the bathroom. His imagination had probably fooled him as nobody was in the room. Nothing really surprisingly. With Hunt being Chief, the number of people using that place was close to zero. Everybody had his or her private office and this common area just served for coffee, gossip and bonding time. And there was not so much bonding lately.

He sat on the bench, dropping wet toiletries on the floor. He had left a dry and clean and lavender smelling towel there waiting for him and passed it on his face, on the column of his neck and then down. His arms felt slick and shivery, his black hairs sticking up. Derek dried his chest carefully, his eyes moving on his scars without hesitation. He had got used to the show, after all this time, he had. The view had bettered a bit lately, the skin and sutures had changed color and they didn't stand at attention as much as before. But Derek felt them, he felt the roughness of his skin in places he was just supposed to meet softness. His coarse and dark hairs had peppered his stomach and belly again, covering the ugly signs surgeries had left on his body, and that had probably marked the moment he had found a sort of acceptance. He had woken up after the procedures, scared and confused and in so much pain to feel dizzy the whole day. When lucidity had lightened up his brain again and strength had assisted him in the most elementary and daily duties, Derek hadn't felt a man anymore. Just a tiny, defenseless newborn. Squab and hairless. Meredith was right all along her line. Men sucked. A lot. With their primordial pride and ego, with their stupid and self-made ideas of manhood and virility which didn't contemplate to be shaved, neither if it was for medical needs. The moment Derek had passed a palm on his torso and found it naked and smooth, he had felt as naked and exposed as ever. He sighed at the memory, passing a hand on his lower chest, feeling thin and curly hairs tickling his arm. It was reassuring and pleasant and he enjoyed the sensation for a moment. He repeated the gesture moments later with a lotion he had been ordered to use after surgeries to mellow his skin. He hated this, he hated to use toiletries like women. Meredith found it funny and the only reason Derek agreed with her was that the operation turned to be hot when it was her hand to splay the cream on his body, lazily and languidly. Now it was just a bother and he felt dirty all over again when the lotion pasted his hairs, making them sticky and ruffled. He adjusted the top and set the tube in the bag. He stood and fished his boxers out of the pile of clothes he had left on the bench. He got both legs into the loops and pulled up, dropping the towel when he was covered. He straightened his black, faded jeans and stepped in, leaving the button and zip open. He turned around to look for the clean t shirt he kept in the locker as change and unfolded it on his legs. The door opened and he looked up, raising the tissue to cover his chest. Even if he lived in hospitals for decades and was used to the promiscuity of lockers and OC rooms, he didn't like to display his body to female coworkers. It was a kind of modesty his father had taught him to survive in a house staffed of women.

He lowered his hands realizing it was Webber, who slowly closed the door behind his back.

"Richard…" greeted him Derek, somehow surprised he was still in the hospital and not home with his wife. "I thought you went home" he added quietly, his eyes casting down, picking up his socks and wearing them.

"No… Adele refused to go and I didn't want to upset her more…" he paused, his hands moving on his hips and his eyes travelling on Derek. "She's fine now, Derek"

"I'm glad…" Derek looked up, smiling "I'm glad to hear that, Richard"

Shepherd bent down to recover his boots and forced his foot in one of them.

"I came to apologize, Derek… from her side. Adele is… she is…" he swallowed not finding any adjective suitable to express both his and her wife's feelings. He silenced and Derek looked to him, standing up.

"There's no need, Richard, really" he gave his friend a small smile and patted his shoulder, lowering his hand to pick up his clothes.

"She's mortified, Derek, and I'm too. Last thing I thought was that she could do something like that…" Richard moved his head and his chin pointed to Shepherd's face, implicitly looking for the place Adele had slapped him.

"It's fine, Richard, really. She lost touch of things and I was there to take her rage. You don't need to worry about me" Derek said calmly, his head disappearing into the t shirt and merging seconds later from the neck hole.

"I'm not worried, Derek. I'm ashamed. And I don't get how she could confuse Meredith with Ellis and… God" he shook his head and turned around, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Derek finished with his underwear and sat on the bench.

"Alzheimer's patients live in the past, Richard. They remember decades ago like if it was yesterday but they don't remember half an hour ago. It's part of the disease… They pick out far memories and relive pains and emotions long gone…"

"And Adele is living my affair with Ellis all over again" Richard muttered quietly, lowering his eyes on the floor. Derek felt for him and sighed, standing and approaching him. He patted his shoulder gently and Webber locked eyes with him.

"I'm sorry, Richard. There's nothing we can do about it. When these episodes come… you just need to try to root her here, give her a rock to hold on too. I know it's scary and painful… for you too. You don't deserve to live this all over again"

Webber met Derek's eyes and smiled, reading sincerity and sympathy in the blue eyes staring at him.

"I don't need compassion for myself, Derek. Never as now I realize what I put my wife through and I deserve the hatred, I deserve her rage. I just feel sorry as she lashed out on you. And Meredith… I can't take her eyes out of my head"

Richard sank on the bench, raking his hand in his short and grey hair. Derek followed him, his Adam apple bobbling in is throat at the thought of revealing Richard the big truth. He took a deep breath and talked, looking to his mentor with concern and affection.

"Meredith is strong, Richard. And it's not the first time Adele saw Ellis in her…"

Webber's eyes jumped on his face and Derek swallowed.

"What?" he choked out, anxious and worried to get the real meaning of what Derek was saying.

"Adele had already confused Meredith with Ellis…" Shepherd explained quietly.

"When?" Richard shot almost angrily.

"A couple of weeks ago… Meredith saw her sitting in the lobby and stopped to say hi…"

"What did she say to her?"

"Richard…" Derek breathed out, not so sure Webber needed to know even this.

"What did she say to her?" Richard repeated, fuming. Derek looked away for a moment, closing his eyes and trying to remember what Meredith had told him.

"She thought Meredith was carrying your baby" Richard closed his eyes "when she said it was my child… Adele got even madder… she accused her to sleep with a man half her age… newly married. Meredith was really upset, Richard"

Their eyes met, sorrow lingering evidently in both their stares. Something clicked in Richard's brain and he straightened up.

"Was this before or after she switched the files, Derek?"

The neuro surgeon almost flinched under Richard's gaze. His throat went dry and he felt like an intern all over again. Questioned and not being able to answer. Only this time it felt worse. As the answer he was going to utter, despite being correct, was not going to produce any relief, to anyone.

"Derek…" Richard prodded him.

"Ten minutes before Meredith decided to screw my trial"

"Damn it" Richard hissed standing up, measuring the room like a lion in the cage. He stopped facing the door, closing his eyes for a moment and building his composure back. "Did you know?"

"She told me yesterday… I didn't know before then"

Derek bent forward, his elbows propped on his knees, his stare down. Richard looked to him and the guilt he had felt for the trial affaire doubled and swelled in his heart.

If before he thought he had pushed Meredith to do something wrong and felt bad as Derek had paid for it, now he felt like a truck had ran over him. His life, his mistakes had destroyed everything, hurt everybody, his wife first in the line. He shook his head to push back tears.

"I'm sorry, Derek" he whispered.

"It's not your fault, Richard, you need to stop blaming yourself" he raked a hand in his hair and then looked up, Webber didn't feel so convinced of his own innocence. Derek stood and went to face him. "You did mistakes, it's true. You messed up your life, it's true. But Adele forgave you. She took you back, you told me that yourself" Derek patted his shoulder, swallowing the lump in his throat "this is not her, Richard. She's bringing up random memories she can't control and you can't feel bad about that"

Richard sighed, nodding and made a step towards the door. He turned around and faced Derek again.

"You need to take care of her, Derek" Richard saw the disorientation on the young man's face and cleared "you need to take care of Meredith"

"I plan to do it, Richard. I hope I'll be good enough" he added in a breath.

"You are. You're the best thing who ever happened to her. She's happy and bright… you need to keep that light in her eyes, Derek, you need to do that" Richard said, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"And you need to support your wife, Richard. I know sometimes you could not feel suitable to do it but… you're the only one Adele needs… we both need to support our wives"

"Yeah…" Webber breathed out, a small smile playing on his lips "and I need to prevent mine from slapping you again"

Derek chuckled, caressing his cheek.

"I lacked with that… I can trace a great sign under that box now"

"I'm sure Adele will cringe…" Richard paused, swallowing, realizing he had chosen the wrong verbal mode. "would cringe if she remembered what she did, Derek"

"I guess she would find a good reason to do that again instead. I don't have her around my finger anymore, Richard"

"Quite about time" Richards said narrowing his eyes, his fingers lowering the knob and opening the door. "Say hi to Meredith…"

"I will… before she kicks my ass too" Derek chuckled and read astonishment on Richard's face. "I'm going to take her to the house tonight"

"Oh… are you done over there?"

"Yeah… and she is visiting the site for the first time so… you know women when it comes to walls and furniture"

"Oh… I do. Good luck with it"

Richard disappeared behind the door and Derek put his dirty scrubs and underwear in the sport bag he had brought from home. He set his toiletries back in the locker and shifted the bench, readjusting it to its original position. His light blue shirt was still folded neatly and he wore it, buttoning from bottom to neck. He put on his black sweater and looked at his watch. He was perfectly on time for his meeting with Meredith. He set the strap on his shoulder and lifted his leather briefcase, heading to the exit. He pulled out his cell and checked eventual miss called and texts, finding any.

He pushed the door open and stopped, meeting Bailey on the frame.

Their eyes met briefly and Derek nodded to her, letting her space to step in.

"Good night" he muttered pushing his cell back in the rear pocket of his pants.

Bailey's lips moved but Derek didn't hear anything. And he didn't either wait to eventually hear something. He walked away, excited and nervous like for a first date.


Meredith was waiting for Derek in the lobby, wrapped closely in her light cream jacket. It was May, late spring in Seattle, but the air was still chilly and sparkling. She kicked the air, sitting on a plastic chair near the entrance, waiting for her husband, chewing her lower lip nervously.

Bailey had freed her before the end of the procedure to go and find Derek but the research had been vane. He had probably retired in the confined and off limits space of the attending lounge and Meredith had decided to let him time to cool off and relax.

She knew Derek would be upset and, to tell the truth, she was too.

It was the second time Adele chose her as target and Meredith had never felt so embarrassed in her life. The Chief's wife was washing her dirty linen, dragging her mother's affair with the Chief into the light and Meredith was really uncomfortable. There were few people who knew before. Tirade after tirade the juicy gossip was spreading in the hospital and it didn't matter if the topic was far in space and time. Richard being here and Meredith being here, Ellis and Webber's liaison was one of the hottest news of the moment.

Meredith could see curios looks on her skin all the time and, right now, she was sure it was not just for the trial thing and Zola and all the circus she had brought on herself. People were pointing at her like the daughter of the ex chief's mistress. She hoped anyone would never dare to suggest she could be Webber's hidden and secret daughter.

She shivered and sighed at the mere thought.

The elevator's doors opened and Derek stepped out, elegant and gorgeous like some hot GQ model. His jeans folded his lean and muscular legs but, when he quickly turned around to greet a doctor passing by, Meredith licked her lips at the sight of his ass. His black boots gave him the aspect of a bad guy and his sweater hugged his broad shoulders, highlighting the flat plan of his chest and stomach.

A little wrinkle crossed his forehead, his hair was a little bit disheveled, and all this, linked to the little beard peppering his cheeks and throat, made him dark and intense. He smiled when he spotted her and Meredith stood, adjusting her purse, feeling like an ugly duckling in the presence of a swan.

"Hey" he said quietly, lowering his face and brushing her lips with his. Meredith's brain went fuzzy, lost in his cologne and the sensation of his mouth petting hers.

"Hey" she answered pulling away, her eyes locking with his. Her hand moved cautiously on his cheek and she caressed it, concern evident in her green orbs. "Are you ok?" she asked quietly, searching Derek's eyes. He put his hand on top of hers, still resting on his face and nodded.

"I'm fine, Mer, really"

His voice was a little bit weak and Meredith squirmed. She rubbed his cheek, brushing his lips with her pinkie in the process, and stared at him gently.

"You had a bad day, Derek. Why don't we just go home?"

"No" he cut her off firmly but gently "I planned this evening for a long time and it will be perfect"

"Der…" Meredith offered but he stopped her, his finger touching her lips softly.

"No, Mer. We'll talk about this tomorrow or whenever you want but… tonight is just for us" he smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear "You and me. I want to take care of you… spend time with you…" his eyes bored into hers, sending shivers down her spine "Will you let me?" he asked, placing a new, soft kiss on her lips and offering her his elbow in the while.

Meredith felt her knees going week and just smiled, eager, despite everything, to spend some time with her husband. She hooked her arm in his and smiled back.

"Let's go"

They walked out the hospital doors together, hand in hand, and then to the parking lot in deep silence, just enjoying each other's closeness and proximity. They reached Derek's Chayenne and he opened the door for her in a gesture of ancient chivalry.

"After you, mrs. Shepherd" he said, stretching his hand to help her in. His Porsche was glamour and comfortable but high as hell and Meredith had to climb into it snorting, rubbing her belly in comfort. Derek turned around the car and stepped in, adjusting in his seat and fastening his seat belt.

"Where are you taking me, mr. Shepherd?" she asked smiling, fastening her own special seat belt. To her surprise and delight, four months pregnant, when her bump had started to show, Derek had found shopping this magic stuffed belt. It was especially made for pregnant women, to allow them to drive and travel safely not squeezing and compressing their precious passenger. Derek turned on the car, leaning in to kiss her nose.

"Wait and see, wife" he said, smiling to her.

He drove out of the parking, following the traffic heading outside the city.

Meredith relaxed completely, her nape resting against the soft, leather headrest, her lids half closed, her hands resting on her belly.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked quietly, smiling at her.

"Just relaxing…" she turned to him and smiled "so… tell me where are we going now?" she asked again, oblivious of the line Derek had just entered.

"Take a look yourself" he said, taking advantage of the boarding procedures to pull a hand off the steering wheel to caress her. Meredith looked to him frowning and then outside, her eyes narrowing in surprise.

"Are we taking the ferry?" she asked confused.

"Yeah…"

"Are we going to your land?" she shot, her eyes wide in surprise. Derek smiled, squeezing her hand.

"No… mrs. Shepherd. We're going to our new house"

Seconds later he stopped the car on the deck, in the spot the yellow-jersey-wearing guy pointed him. He relaxed himself in his seat, stretching his legs and turning to face Meredith, one hand stroking her knee and the other playing with her hair.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, his own voice thick with emotion.

"A bit" she answered biting her lips.

"Let's make you calm down a bit then" he said hoarsely, his hand moving behind her neck, the other cupping Meredith's cheek. He pulled her towards himself and kissed her. The contact was heaven, his lips making love to hers. His tongue brushed Meredith's mouth lightly and she opened it, letting him in. There was no urgency in the way Derek was kissing his wife. It was slow and tender but incredibly hot and Meredith found herself wanting for more. She sighed when he pulled away, his eyes glistening with love and excitement, her lips swollen and warm.

"Are you trying to sex me up, dr. Shepherd?" she asked out of breath.

"No… just to corrupt you, dr. Grey…" he whispered adjusting her hair. Meredith giggled.

"Why would you need to do that?"

"Don't know… to fog your brain… melt your heart… give you some fine memory in case you hate the house and my guts as well" said Derek, tracing her face with his fingertip as it was the first time he touched her. Meredith stopped his hand, her face getting immediately serious.

"I'm gonna love it, Derek"

"I hope you do"

He kissed her quickly again and readjusted on his seat feeling the ferryboat slowing down. They drove out of it and Derek took the road leading to his land.

He slowed down the car's pace when ground and dust took the place of perfectly flat concrete. The Porsche swung and jerked through the holes and Meredith flinched sometimes, holding tightly on the handle over the window.

"This road seems to be made to make me deliver right now…" she said amused and Derek smiled too.

"We're almost there… and I asked my contractor to pave it once the works are done"

"Up to the cliff?" Meredith asked astonished "it will cost you a fortune, Derek"

"I can afford it, Mer, don't worry. Besides… I don't want the kids to throw up every time we come back home"

He drove the car through the last turn on the left and they ended up on the plane in front of Derek's trailer. He stopped the engine and jumped off, walking to the other side and helping Meredith out.

"Is your trailer still here?" she asked in disbelief, excitement creeping through her words, her eyes moving left and right to take a glance of their house. Derek gripped her elbow and pulled her against his chest.

"Don't cheat, Meredith… eyes on me, please" he smiled and she pouted.

"I can't wait, Derek…" she breathed out and he smiled, stroking her cheek.

"I was thinking to leave my trailer here…"

"Really?" she asked in excitement.

"Yes… the kids will love to play in there and… it can come handful when we fight and you kick me out of the house" they both giggled and Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Always a step forward, Derek" she said, her eyes shining.

"Just foreseeing…" he leant in and kissed her, his breath fanning her neck and making her head spin. "Are you ready, Meredith?" he asked, an inch from her ear.

"Absolutely" she answered, her eyes closed, her face still buried in the crock of his neck. Derek pulled away and smiled, offering her his stretched hand.

"Let's go"

Meredith interlocked her fingers with his and they both walked into the grass. They walked over a little climb and Meredith's mouth fell agape taking in the sight of their house, ready and finished. She tucked some hair behind her ear, the breeze moving it, her cheeks flushed for the little walk.

She was devouring the wooden mansion in front of her while Derek was devouring her face, his heart swelling by the second. He gripped her hand and squeezed her fingers gently.

"How does it look?" he asked quietly, his eyes searching hers.

"It's wonderful!" shrieked Meredith, walking towards the house and pulling Derek by her side. They crossed the garden in front of the house and Meredith trotted up the three steps leading to the entrance. She stopped and turned on her heels to admire the porch. It was wide and it had an amazing view on Seatte's bay. It ran all along the length of the building and wide French doors separated the outdoor from the inside and Meredith smiled remembering the plan she had drawn years before with the candles. She already could imagine her family having breakfast in that perfect space, trees and birds chirping the only thing around.

She leant against one of the pillars and her bump pressed against the barrier, taking a deep breath and letting her eyes move into Derek's property.

Derek's hands circled her waist from behind and Meredith felt his stubby cheek scraping her face.

"Are you ok?" he asked quietly, his voice low, almost scared to break the perfect silence.

"Totally" she answered turning around, a wide smile stretching her lips.

"Are you ready to discover our house?"

"Yes… let's go"

She walked towards the front door, Derek's hand tight into her fingers and waited for him to find the key. He opened the lock and breathed in, setting the bundle into his jeans pocket. His eyes met Meredith's quickly and a mischievous smile twitched his lips.

"What?" asked Meredith confused. Without uttering one world, Derek lifted her in his arms, one hand in the crock of her knees and the other behind her shoulders "what are you doing?" shrieked Meredith, half surprised and half amused.

"Bringing my wife into our brand new house like tradition calls…"

"Derek…" tried to reason Meredith but he shook his head and silenced her.

"Use your free hands to open the door, Mrs. Shepherd"

He tilted to the side angling his body so that Meredith could have access to the door knob and she snorted, pushing the door open. Derek entered the house giving the back to the room and looked to his wife, grinning.

"Ready for the big reveal?"

"I am… Spin…"

He obliged, turning on his heels and facing the living room. He watched her mouth open again in wonder and he slowly set her down on her feet, his hand resting in the small of her back.

The room was an open space and could comfortably welcome fifty people. In the furthest wall the kitchen was already assembled and its style matched perfectly with the style of the house. All the walls were wooden, the floor was a styled and elegant parquet, wide windows and French doors opened on all the four sides. In a corner there was a big fireplace, so big Meredith could almost step inside standing in her full height.

"Wow" she whispered, incapable to express any further comment.

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful, Derek" she smiled to him walking across the room. She perfectly remembered that kitchen: she had chosen it personally from a catalogue and made some sketch of how it could turn out. She didn't know Derek had started and purchased it but she remembered their free days spent at the furniture seller arguing about materials and finishing. When the final draft had been approved she had removed the thought, waiting for the constructor to finish the works and ready to plunge into furniture hunting later. Derek had lifted a big weight from her shoulders and, more than anything, the result went beyond her best expectations. She approached to take a better look and leant against the counter, she frowned realizing there were pots and many alimentary boxes on the surface of the kitchen cabinet.

"What is that?" she asked pointing to all the stuff.

"I asked a catering service to bring in something to eat" answered Derek rounding the counter and approaching the boxes. He started to take tops off, smelling the content "so we have olive chicken… roasted potato and…" he paused fishing a small box out of a plastic bag "some cheese cake"

"Wow" breathed out Meredith, genuinely surprised "you prepared everything in detail"

"I just wanted this to be perfect…" Derek said softly, rubbing his hands. "So…" he muttered "dinner and sightseeing or sightseeing and dinner?"

"I would go for dinner and sightseeing…" she pouted "I'm really hungry and I think the tour will take long so… I want to enjoy every of it"

"Good… just sit then and wait. I'll warm this up and we'll have our very first dinner here"

He turned around and picked up two plates out of the highest shutter. He set them on the counter, right in front of Meredith and then did the same with pieces of cutlery and glasses. He turned on the stool and set the pot on, adjusting the right flame. He went to the fridge and took a bottle of wine and water, quirking a brow to Meredith.

"Will you toast with me?" he asked suggestively and Meredith giggled.

"I'd like to but… I don't want to turn Mc Baby high" she raised her glass and stretched her hand towards him "I'll go with the water, Der. You can drink by yourself though"

"So sad…" he said grinning, pouring a glass of water for his wife "Drinking by myself makes me sad… really"

"You'll survive… besides…. I want you to take me wine and jam in the delivery room. The self restraint lasted so long and I need to wash my body with alcohol right after the baby is born"

Derek smiled, sipping his wine. He sat the glass on the table and stirred the content of the boiling pot. The smell was good and he sank a spoon in the broth to taste it.

"Uhm… it tastes good. Try it, Mer… you'll tell me if adding some salt or not"

He rounded the counter holding the spoon, a brown liquid waving in the little piece of cutlery, a hand cupped under it to prevent the sauce to drip onto the floor. He approached the spoon to Meredith's lips but she refused to open her mouth.

"Mer?"

"I guess I have a better way to taste this…" she said quietly, jumping off the stool. She took Derek's wrist and addressed the spoon in his own mouth. He was surprised but didn't resist. His brain had no time to process what was happening that Meredith's mouth was on his, her tongue brushing his lips slowly but demanding. He tasted of chicken and she purred against him, sensing the rich aroma in the wet of his mouth. Meredith moaned quietly and pulled back, licking her own lips.

"You taste good…" she added amused.

"Me or the chicken?" Derek offered arching his brow.

"The both I guess" Meredith played along his joke "you're a great couple"

Derek shook his head grinning and rounded the counter again.

"So… more sault?" he asked.

"No, it's just perfect…"

"Good"

Derek took the pot off the stool using two hot pads and started to prepare two heavy portions of chicken and potato. He set the food on the plate elegantly, taking care the meat was covered by its sauce and the potato were flavored by some rosemary. Once done, he took the two plates and went sitting aside Meredith, on one of the high stool at the counter.

"Here we go" he said setting the plate in front of her nose "Bon appetit"

"Thank you… you too"

They ate in silence and Derek watched, surprised once again, Meredith devouring her dinner. She looked like she hadn't eaten in days, like she knew she wasn't going to eat in days. Every time she brought the fork to her mouth, she aggressed the food with such a voracity that Derek giggled, raising her curiosity.

"What?" she asked chewing some chicken, a rivulet of broth tripping down her chin making her skin slick in drippings.

"Nothing… you're gorgeous when you eat like that" he stretched his hand, holding his own towel, and brushed the sauce away.

"I'm just hungry" she said almost pouting.

"Enjoy your dinner, Mer. We have all the time"

He leaned against his stool and got lost observing her, his plate empty. Meredith realized she was observed and looked into his plate and then to him.

"Are you done?" she asked, her mouth full.

"Yes… I hadn't a big appetite. I'm fine" he said rubbing her back. His face looked relaxed but Meredith couldn't help to think of Adele's accident. She swallowed her bite and cleared her throat.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" she asked quietly, noticing Derek's features and body tensing immediately.

"I'd rather not" he said smiling, his hand still on her shoulder. "I want this to be just about us. No problems, no work, nothing… just you and me. We have next days to discuss about it profusely, Mer. Now eat so that we can finish our tour and engage in more interesting activities"

"What would that be?" asked Meredith innocently, her eyes twitching with a mischievous light. Derek smiled, he liked when Meredith played the numb blonde. It was right the opposite of what she was in reality. Smart, clever, quick. He cleared his throat and closed both arms across his chest.

"You're playing with fire, miss" he said grinning, his eyes travelling down her body.

"Am I?" she asked lightly, bringing the fork to her mouth again, looking at Derek with wide eyes.

"Yes. You drove me crazy with that kiss before"

His eyes had turned a shade bluer, smoky with passion and desire and Meredith's throat closed a bit, risking to choke her. She swallowed with difficulty and their eyes locked.

"I'm sorry…" she muttered quietly, in trouble herself. Derek chuckled and leant forward to kiss her.

"Don't be. We have plenty of time to celebrate"

He stood and rounded the counter, starting to set dirty plates into the sink. He adjusted empty boxes into the plastic bags and cleaned everything, deleting all traces of their passage. Meredith swallowed the last piece of chicken and set her fork down with a dull thud, relaxing against the backrest of the stool.

"It was delicious… Everything"

"Good…" he looked up to her briefly and smiled, cleaning the marble top with a wet cloth.

Meredith turned on the stool and observed the room again.

"Are we going to place a table somewhere?" she asked, tapping her fingers.

"Yes, I thought it would be useful. We can eat here when we're just us but… if we had guests, it would be complicated"

"Mm…" Meredith nodded rubbing her chin, examining the room carefully. "We could place the couches over there and the tv in that corner"

"Yeah… I agree, it's actually what I had thought myself" he smiled rounding the counter and offering Meredith his hand "Now let's go seeing the rest. We can think of furniture later, ok?"

"Ok… lead me"

Derek placed a tender kiss on her cheek and leant both hands on Meredith's sides, pushing her gently and addressing her towards a door in the corner of the room.

"So… here we have a bathroom…" he said opening the door and ushering Meredith in. The bathroom was upholstered with blue ceramic tiles, it was wide and provided with a double size shower.

"No tube here?" asked Meredith.

"Mer… this is just the guest bathroom. I hope people won't come to visit us to get a bath"

"Who can say that? People are so screwed…" she said shrugging, leaving the room. Derek took her hand and led her through a long corridor leading to the stairs.

"There are also some service local on the ground floor. Laundry, another little toilet, tools room, a large pantry. I thought they weren't really interesting for a first visit… you'll get to see them next time. Now I want you to see the first floor" he said when they were already half way. He stopped when they got to the last step and turned to face Meredith, taking her shoulders in his hands.

"Meredith…" he said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to promise me something before we go on, ok?"

"Ok… what is it?"

"I want you to promise me you'll tell me if something doesn't satisfy you, if you want to change something. There's still time and I want you to feel part of this as you are… this is your home and I want you to be perfectly happy with it. Deal?"

"Ok…" she muttered quietly and Derek smiled.

"All right then… let's go" he pulled Meredith towards the first room and opened the door, switching the light on.

"So this is the first of the guests room…" he said, pushing her in, rubbing her shoulders from behind. Meredith's breath hitched in her throat.

"Cristina's room…" she whispered.

"What?" asked Derek arching a brow, quizzically. Meredith turned to face him.

"I… I told Cristina she was going to have a room up here… in case she fought with Owen or whatever"

"Oh… so I ran from the city but still have Cristina Yang barging in our room in the middle of the night?" he asked amused.

"I'm afraid of yes…" Meredith giggled, caressing his cheek. "Are you mad?"

"No" he giggled "I count she'll run for the hills first night Mc Peanut will keep her up weeping…"

Meredith swatted his arm playfully.

"This was mean…"

"I had to cohabit in the same bed with you and her for four years, Mer. Just protecting myself here…" he smiled, walking across the room and opening the window. There was a wonderful view on the yard and his little lake and he breathed in. He turned around and leant his back against the bulwark. "The room has a private bathroom… with tube" he added smirking and Meredith rolled her eyes, opening the door and taking a look inside "and a private walk in closet. I was thinking to place a king size bed in here. What do you think?"

"I think it's great" Meredith said, her eyes sparkling, measuring the room with quick steps. She stopped admiring the floor. It was parquet too, but different from the one covering the ground floor. She looked to Derek and he tilted his head.

"I wanted to give each room its own personality and taste. That's why you won't find the same floor in two rooms. I always changed something… draw… width of the slats… I hope you like it"

"I do…" she smiled brightly, taking his hand and walking outside in the corridor again. "Where next?" she looked eagerly and curious to all the doors opening on the hallway and Derek took both her cheeks in his hands.

"To a very special one…" he kissed her and opened another door. "Welcome to our baby's nursery, Meredith" he stepped in and ushered her inside. His wife's eyes went immediately moist observing the room. All the furniture they had chosen to welcome the baby was already settled. A swinging, old fashion style crib, a changing table, a little closet, a little bed. They were all clear, a creamy color, with little bears hand painted. The pattern was simple but had caught their eyes immediately. Visiting the shop apart, Meredith and Derek had chosen the same set. She giggled remembering the moment they had realized it.

"Meredith?" Derek called out hanging his coat. The kitchen and living room were silent but Meredith had to be home. She had the day off and she was supposed to go looking for nursery furniture. It was her turn today, Derek had done the same thing last Monday and he had found his dream set. He was eager to know what his wife had found and eventually chosen.

"Upstairs… in the bedroom…" her voice reached him and Derek smiled, jogging up the stairs and finding her lying on the bed.

"Hey…" he greeted her stepping in, a wide smile stretching his lips. He sat on the bed and kissed her "Tired?"

"Yeah… this baby shopping thing worn me out. My feet are killing me…" she pouted, resting the magazine she was reading on her chest. Derek smiled even wider and lifted her legs from the mattress, adjusting them on his knees. "Derek…"

"Foot scrub" he said simply, starting to message her ankles and toes. Meredith relaxed, her eyes closing. "So… was the fatigue at least worth?" he asked quietly, looking at her.

"Oh yes…" she moaned and Derek giggled, causing Meredith to open her eyes frowning "What?"

"Was the yes for my message skills or for a successful day of shopping?" he smirked amused and his wife hit his shoulder.

"It was for the shopping, smartass…" she grimaced, dropping the magazine on the conditioner.

"Little tease…" he leant in to kiss her "so shoot… I'm all ears"

Meredith relaxed against the headboard, crossing her arms across her chest. Some second passed and Derek looked to her, still silent.

"Mer?"

"You said you had found the perfect set a couple of days ago…" she muttered and he nodded enthusiastically.

"I did… according to my tastes. But you needed to go and see for yourself, without my interference"

"You had a bad influence on me…" she said grinning and Derek rolled his eyes.

"That's why we decided to go apart… so that I could take a look around and you could do the same… But it's time to compare our choices now…"

"You won't get me out of mine"

"Oh really?" he asked amused, locking eyes with hers "I happen to have good means of dissuasion with you" he added, his voice low and gritty, sparkles in his eyes.

"I do know that" she spat, retrieving her legs from his grasp and stretching them on the bed out of his hands "that's why no body contact is allowed when we discuss this" she stated firmly, raising a laughter from Derek's side.

"Bossy…"

"Shut up!"

"Ok" Derek smiled, raising his hands in fake surrender "you first"

"Right…" she said, adjusting on the bed and clearing her throat "so… I saw this set…" she said quietly, a new light shining in her eyes, something which warmed Derek's heart. Then he knew… He liked it or not, he couldn't force himself to deny her anything when she was so enthusiastic about it "nothing fancy. It's really simple. It's not white… more cream I'd say… with little bears painted…"

Derek had to repress a smile, it was his choice too. He decided to grill her a bit.

"That's all?" he asked her and Meredith's face dropped.

"Well… the bears are doing stuff… sports… bicycling… it's really cute. It's bisex… it's not for girl or boy, it's very neutral. I don't want extravagant stuff for our baby…" she said rubbing her belly. "What had you picked instead?" she asked but Derek cut her off.

"Wait… you finish first… Have you asked the price or delivery time?"

"Well… I haven't really asked economic stuff actually…" she said almost blushing "I'm not a very pragmatic woman as you know"

"And do they have it on stock?"

"They had but… the store clerk told me a guy booked the last they have. A daddy going for shopping by himself and falling head over hills for it… Usually they don't do the reservation thing but… crap… this time they did. If we want it, we need to order it already. The stuff comes from England and it takes time. What about you?"

Derek shrugged, locking eyes with her.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Mer"

"What? Why?" she protested.

"You have chosen what you want and you're so happy when you talk about it that I couldn't force you into anything different" he said smiling. Meredith giggled and hugged him tightly.

"I love you!"

"Me too…"

Meredith pulled away and took the telephone on her nightstand.

"So I guess I should call the shop…" she dialed a couple of numbers and then Derek stopped her hand, taking the receiver away from her. Meredith frowned. "Derek…"

"There's no need to call them"

"Yes" she retorted "I don't want Mc Peanut to sleep on the couch as we didn't buy a crib" she stretched her hand to take the phone but Derek budged, preventing her. "Derek…"

"The set is ours, Mer" he said, a wide smile stretching his lips.

"What?" she choked, arching her brows.

"I was the daddy shopping and falling head over hills for it"

"You were?" she asked, her mouth agape, surprise and happiness lightening up her face.

"I was… I saw it and I knew it was it. I wanted to show you but I didn't want to ruin your mother shopping day. So I asked the sales girl to keep it in stand by for a week, waiting for you to go and watch yourself. When you told me about the little bears… I understood we were talking about the same stuff and I toyed with you"

Meredith shook her head in disbelief, joy written all across her face.

"So we went shopping and picked the same set out of the hundred we were presented?"

"Apparently we did" Derek kissed her lips gently "we're really twin souls, Meredith"

"Mer… are you still here?"

"Definitely…"

"I didn't choose any color for the walls. I wanted to do it with you"

"Great… but I'm not very creative with this stuff so… you suggest, I say yes or no"

"Ok…" he circled her waist with both hands "we could go on with plain color… light green or yellow"

She arched her brow, taking a look around, trying to picture the result in her head.

"I don't know… I don't want this room to look like a candy… What else?"

"We could use a couple of colors… The lower part orange… then a decorative belt and a light yellow on top?" he suggested, his nose tickling her neck.

"It sounds great"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah…"

"Good… so I'll call the painter and ask him to stop by to make some samples for us"

"You have all answers, dr. Shepherd" added Meredith in a skittish tone, relaxing in his body and touch. She swung on her feet and then sighed. "It's all silent, here…. I wonder how things will be in a month from now"

"They'll be better" said Derek quietly, his mouth on her ear "Our baby will peacefully sleep here. And if he doesn't, Mc Peanut and daddy will go downstairs on the couch and let mummy rest"

"Are you offering up for night shifts, dr. Shepherd?"

"Of course, dr. Grey. You're going to make my dream true. The least I can do is help you… I can't look forward helping you"

Meredith straightened up and turned around, tears glistening her eyes for the beautiful words Derek had just uttered. She caressed his cheeks and their eyes locked.

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"Don't know" Derek answered cockily.

"Where did I find you?"

"Joe's… Joe's just serves the best things in town" he said mockingly raising Meredith's giggle. "Let's go… We have far more rooms to visit"

They left the nursery and Meredith didn't wait for any invitation. She opened the opposite door and she gulped on the doorframe. The room was full of toys, puppets, music boxes.

"That's the room our kids will play" said Derek behind her, his voice hoarse and deep. Meredith turned around and smiled to him and then proceeded to take a look around. She touched dolls and constructions, wooden toys and a little train.

"You really enjoyed the single daddy shopping" she said amused. Derek was leaning against the doorframe, staring at her.

"To tell the truth none of this is new, Meredith"

"What do you mean?" she asked confused, touching a horse of a little blue carousel. The carillon started to work, a relaxing, joyful jingle filling the air.

"These are my toys"

"What?" she asked, her mouth agape.

"I was a very watchful kid. I loved my toys and never wasted them. My mother packed everything and stored them away for me… for my kids. She mailed them to me as soon as I was ok… That's my first surprise and I hope you don't mind"

"Why would I?" she asked smiling, looking to the toys around with a double interest. It was like she had opened a curtain on Derek's childhood. What he liked to play with, the way he used to play. Most part of these objects had more than 30 years. Yet… they were perfect. Little Derek was already a perfectionist apparently. Her eyes grew wide and she shrieked picking up a robot.

"That's Daytan… I have always wished to have one!" she rolled the toy in her hands, her face lit up in joy.

"It was one on my favorite. Kind of Anatomy Jane for you"

"Oh yes…" she giggled "I'll go through my boxes but, unlike you, I wasn't that respectful. I broke everything"

"Well… I guess there's enough here. Not to talk of all the things I've already chosen"

"What are you talking about?" she enquired setting the robot down and approaching Derek.

"I have to tell you a little secret, wife" said Derek relinquishing her with a stormy glare, his arms closed across his chest.

"I'm all ears"

"I have a thing for toys…" Meredith arched her brows frowning and Derek cleared his throat "I love toys. And with all my nieces and nephews… it's an addiction I've fed all along years. I know everything and it takes me hours to choose the right thing when I need to make a gift. My kid will be lucky with this"

"I know… and I'll be too. I kind of don't know where to start with these things. When I casually arrive in the toys aisle… I get lost with all that stuff"

"I'll teach you… and you'll get to love it yourself" he gave her a Mc Dreamy smile and Meredith blushed, giggling.

"I don't think so but… it's kind of right. I'll drag you through fashion boutiques and you'll pay me back with toys shopping…"

Derek took her hand and pulled her against his body, circling her back with both hands.

"I don't think my revenge will be that smooth but… for now you'll go away with it"

He leant in to kiss her and Meredith's hands went to his hair out of instinct. She pressed his neck against her face. Their lips met and pulled away several times, petting each other, flowing their bodies with sweet and powerful emotions.

"It's better we stop" whispered Meredith backing off, her lips rosy and full.

"What if I don't want to stop?" said Derek hoarsely, attacking her mouth with new strength. Meredith moaned in his touch, but passion came to an alt when a powerful kick hit her belly and made them part.

"What is it? Your personal defender?" chuckled Derek, his hand tenderly stroking her bump.

"Mc Peanut is kind of mummy jealous…"

She joined his hand and leant into his chest, her cheek pressing against his heart.

"Our child won this time… but it's better it cools off later as I have all the intentions to spend some good time with you"

Meredith giggled, patting Derek's abdomen.

"I like when you fight for me…"

She raised her eyes and they kissed again light.

"Let's continue"

They closed the door and walked down the corridor. Meredith was about to open a room when Derek stopped her.

"This at last, Meredith" he took her hand and led her to another bathroom, then another guestroom, even this one with private bathroom and wardrobe.

Meredith was starting to feel tired. She was overwhelmed by the happiness and emotion. Still her body was sending her warning messages. Her ankles were swollen and her back ached. She whimpered when she opened a window to admire the view and Derek rushed by her side.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, just sore" she stretched her back trying to ease the weight and tension in her muscles. Derek massaged her shoulder blades while Meredith focused back on the panorama. "You know… I'd have never imagined this would be so perfect, Derek" she whispered, her pupils drinking the surrounding nature. The woods had painted with faded colors, leaves going from yellow to orange, green and brown. "Your land is kind of magic… I knew it already but now… it just feels like it's too much"

"Nothing is too much for our family and for you, Meredith. The moment I arrived in Seattle I fell in love with it" he said quietly, pushing his nose into her hair. "I needed a change, I needed to revitalize my soul. And this was the place. I feel the owner of the world up here"

"I know…" Meredith added softly.

"And this house just makes it perfect. Before… I was just a tramp living in a smelly trailer"

"Your trailer is not smelly!" protested Meredith, her mind filling with sweet memories of the time they had spent there together. "It's just you and your trout fishes…" she giggled.

"Thank you…" said Derek kissing her cheek "You made me happy, Meredith. You made me a husband and a daddy. Everything up here is just thanks to you"

Meredith turned around sensing Derek's moved voice. Their eyes locked and she brushed his cheek.

"It's not true, Derek. This land is just you… all about you"

"Mer…" he protested but she cut him off.

"You kept attached to it even when people wanted you to move away" she argued, her thumb still grazing his skin.

"I kept attached as it reminded me of you, Meredith. Of how you made me feel. I couldn't force myself to let it go as much as I couldn't force myself to let you go" said Derek, emotion pulsing through each word.

"You wanted to sell it…" she added in a whisper and Derek shivered, sensing the hurt lingering in those words.

"You were out of my life, Meredith. I couldn't imagine living here without you… by myself… with another woman. You were the only one who belonged here… everything was meaningless without you. This was our land, our house. I made blueprints when we were together… it never changed" he smiled, hugging her. Meredith relaxed in his hold and leant her cheek on his chest. Derek took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "I asked mr. Wat to arrange me some papers"

Meredith straightened up, frowning.

"Mr. Who?" she enquired, surprised.

"Mr. Wat … my lawyer"

"Ohh…" muttered Meredith, at lack of words.

"I asked him to prepare the papers to add your name on the property"

"What?" choked out Meredith, her mouth opened in shock.

"You're my wife. This place belongs to you as much as it belongs to me"

"Derek…" she protested "my rights are more than protected. I can't accept it" she said shaking her head.

"You will. This was meant to be my marriage gift. Things got messed up but I've never forgotten what I wanted to do. Everything is ready. I just have to tell Wat when we have an hour to show up and sign"

"Derek…" she shook her head again "Let me at least share the costs… something"

"Don't be silly, Meredith. Besides… I guess I owe you some arrears… year rents… I have been bedding down at your place for years"

"Oh… you paid for that…" she arched her brows mischievously and giggled, causing Derek's lips to twitch up in amusement.

"So wasn't that making love but paying my grasping house owner in kind?"

"It was… but the account is still open…"

"When will I be done with this heavy obligation?"

"Don't know… it depends on how much effort you put on it… I could make allowance to you"

"I don't want a reduction" he said hoarsely, his lips descending on hers. A static ran down Meredith's spine and her husband seemed to perceive it. He pulled her even closer, deepening the kiss and then let her go, catching his breath "Let's go, my lady. It's time I show you the place I'm going to serve you from now on"

Derek turned on his heels and gripped Meredith's hand, pulling her behind him. He stopped when he arrived out of the last door. Differently from the others, it wasn't located on one side of the corridor, but it opened at the end of it. Meredith took a look around, frowning, as if she had noticed just then a particular she had missed before.

"What?" asked her Derek.

"Nothing…" she muttered, her eyes darting along the corridor "It's just… I don't know" she shook her head and shrugged, raising Derek's amusement.

"Okay… I don't know what you wanted to say but I don't care now"

"Thank you" said Meredith narrowing her eyes and swatting his arm playfully.

"Let me introduce you to our kingdom, Meredith" he breathed out and, before Meredith could react, he lifted her from the ground.

"Derek!" she shrieked, hugging his neck to stabilize her body.

"Old traditions… just open the door now" he said gently, his eyes locked with hers. Meredith took a deep breath and then pushed the doorknob down. The door opened as well as her mouth.

"Holy mother…" she mumbled astonished. The missing particular went to place magically. Meredith had stopped before realizing the ground floor looked much more wide than the first. Despite the dimensions of the rooms, she had felt the perception there was a big part of space missing. Now she had found it. Their bedroom was a little apartment inside the house and overlooked three sides. To maximize her surprise, the room was already furnished and a happy flame was sparkling in the fireplace. A king size bed rested against the wall, dominated by their post it and the draw Derek had painted in Meredith's bedroom.

"How did you get that?" she asked in disbelief.

"I asked the contractor to go and take it" Derek answered simply.

"Wait…" said Meredith pissed "you asked a team of half naked men to step into my house and knock down my wall?" she asked indignant.

"I did. And Lexie was very helpful. Relax, Mer. Your bedroom is still standing" he said grinning and Meredith snorted, her bad mood drifting away immediately. She pushed against Derek's chest and he put her down on her feet. Meredith moved across the room like a child in a candy store. She was observing every detail, her mouth opening and closing in wonder. She touched the sheets Derek had used to make the bed and frowned.

"Silk?" she grimaced looking at him.

"I chose the tissue which felt like your skin" he said quietly, sitting on the armchair he had set in a small recess. The corner looked like a reading or relaxing area. There were three green recliners and a little table serving them, covered by medical reviews and design magazines. Derek watched Meredith moving with a wolfish grin. "We can change everything you want though… I just wanted to place something here… It would have been sad bringing you here without nothing"

"It would have been perfect anyway" Meredith said smiling, tracing her fingers on the curtains. She moved them aside and opened the French door, stepping on a wide and wonderful covered terrace. "I can't believe this is what I'm going to see every morning" she whispered quietly. She spent some moment outside and then the chilling breeze suggested her to go back in. Derek was still sitting in the same spot, leaving her space and letting her choose the time of her visit. Meredith scanned the room again, a small smile stretching her lips. The furniture was simple yet elegant, a mixture of modern and traditional style. The room allowed the presence of many pieces but Derek hadn't exaggerated. It was far more than necessary anyway. Suddenly a realization hit her and Meredith gulped, awakening Derek's curiousness.

"What?"

"Where are the closets?" she asked, a panicked tone in her voice. Derek giggled standing and approaching her. He touched her shoulders lightly and whispered in her ear.

"The door on the left, Meredith"

She started to move when she felt a little pressure behind her back. The door slid open under her touch and Meredith froze there.

"You got me that walk in closet?" she asked, turning on her heels with a wide smile on her face.

"You liked it too much. I couldn't deny it to you" Derek answered smiling. Meredith giggled, entering the space and observing everything mesmerized. She opened some drawer and shutter, the wood still smelled of new and she inhaled deeply. "Are you happy?"

"Delighted, Derek… thank you" her eyes moved on the wall unit and Derek noticed a shadow of indecision in her eyes.

"What's wrong, Meredith? We had a deal… remember?"

"Nothing is wrong" she shot too quickly, turning to face him. She bit her lip, arching her brow. "I'm not very good in hiding stuff…"

"You're not. What's wrong?"

"Nothing… it's just it looks a little small. How can all our clothes fit in here?"

"They won't" he answered quietly, raising Meredith's astonishment.

"Ok…" she muttered "then what? Is that a hint I need to reduce my wardrobe?"

"At all" chuckled Derek "this room is just for you, Meredith. I have my own, private one"

"You have?" her eyes grew wider in surprise and Derek smiled.

"Door on the right" he answered simply. Meredith stormed out of the room and headed to the twin space on the other side of the bed. Derek hadn't lied, there was an equal door there and she opened it. The furniture was the same, just some detail was different. Derek had a wide space to hang his ties, more drawers for his tailor shirts. Meredith smirked, facing him, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I thought you hated this solution…" she said tapping her foot on the floor.

"I did. But you were so enthusiastic about it that I took some information. And realized it was not so bad after all. Spaces just needed to be managed and I did it. I hope you're happy about the result"

"Definitely… and now I look forward visiting our bathroom…" she said smiling. She walked out and opened the last door in the room.

Bathroom was a reducing word to describe it.

It was huge, big, fancy and endowed with all the possible comforts.

A wide Jacuzzi occupied the left corner and it was more a swimming pool than a tube. Meredith remembered seeing it on a magazine. She had read all the technical qualities and, even if she wasn't very good in domestic stuff, she had understood filling that thing took a sea of water. Now it was there, in her bathroom, with a wide frame surrounding its whole length which seemed made on purpose to set candles and glasses of champagne. She rounded it appreciating its elegance and style and giggled realizing Derek had placed double bathroom fixtures: two toilets, two sinks, two bidets, two mirrors.

"So you won't complain I always keep the bathroom busy" Derek whispered behind her ear.

"It wasn't necessary, Derek"

"Don't worry… we had plenty of space"

He smiled and she smiled back, finishing her journey in front of the shower stall.

"Are you planning groupy showers, Derek?" she asked realizing the size of the crystal box. There were three springs and hydro massage columns, everything assembled on marble plates. A thin thread of steel ran horizontally through the wall giving a modern touch to the upholstery. The appearance was really nice and Meredith turned to look at her husband, who was expecting her reaction and opinion anxious.

"So?" he asked arching his brows.

"This is a dream, Derek. It's far more I ever wished" she said, her voice shaking. Derek reciprocated the smile and took her hand, bringing her back into their room. He walked towards the armchairs and sat on one, bringing Meredith down into his lap. He lifted her legs on the little table and messaged her calves through the fabric of her jeans.

"Better?" he asked quietly, locking eyes with her. Meredith nodded, resting her head in the crock oh his neck and playing with the curly hair of his nape.

"Heavenly…" she took a quick glance to the room and sighed. "When did you do all this?"

"I asked the chef to lighten the fire. He was more than available to do it for an extra tip"

"And what about the rest?"

"It was ready for days, Meredith. I was just waiting for the right timing" he whispered into her ear, kissing her hair.

"Is the bed as comfortable as it looks like?" she asked giggling.

"I guess there's no way to know but try it…"

"Well… you already did so… I trust your judgment on that, Derek"

"I didn't" he muttered and Meredith raised her head to look at him. She tilted her face astonished and Derek got the reason of her puzzlement. "I have never slept here"

"I thought…" she paused, not able to finish the sentence. The mere memory of Derek sleeping out of her house, away from her, was still painful and Meredith's mouth refused to turn the idea into speech. She swallowed and cleared her throat. "I thought you had slept here in the last nights…"

"No…" it was Derek's turn to swallow "I couldn't spend my first night here by myself. I wanted it to be special, I wanted it to be with you"

"So did you stay in your trailer?" she asked, surprised and amused at the same time.

"No… I just slept outside… on my deck… in a sleeping bag"

"Derek…" Meredith said getting serious. "I thought you stopped doing that the moment you realized there are bears up here"

"Don't worry" he chuckled "I guess Alex scared the only one away. And then you know I love star watching. And I even realized the deck wasn't on level. I overestimated my skills as carpenter"

"You didn't. Everything is just perfect" she smiled kissing his lips "and I need to pee" she added standing up. "Time to inaugurate my half of the bathroom" she said starting to unzipping her jeans.

"Romantic way to do it. I really had something better in mind" he joked and Meredith showed him her tongue before disappearing into the room. Derek took the chance to stand and look out to the balcony. The sun was dying behind his hill painting the ground and trees with beautiful colors. From there he could even spot a corner of his lake and even the water reflection was playing its magic with that special light. Derek closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, letting the pure and fresh oxygen clean his lungs and wash worries away. It was regenerating, but a hundred time more powerful than the shower he had enjoyed hours before. He heard the door of the toilet closing and stepped back in, facing a smiling Meredith in the mid of the room.

"Do you want your cheesecake?" he asked, staffing his hands in the rear pockets of his jeans. Meredith approached him smiling and leant a hand on his chest, softly.

"Sounds like a good idea. But I want to thank you properly before" she said raising on her tiptoes to kiss him. Her hands closed behind his back and Derek's arm snaked around her waist, locking their bodies close together. They parted for a second and Meredith shivered reading the passion sparkling in her husband's eyes. "I love you" she whispered.

"I love you too"

Her fingers walked on Derek's chest and then trailed lower, teasing his body through the soft cotton of his shirt. Her hand touched the denim of his jeans and stopped on his zip, making Meredith really aware of Derek's arousal.

"Meredith…" he purred in her ear, his eyes closed, his hands stroking her arms up and down.

"I want you" she said, her own voice broken. She cupped him through his jeans and a sound, gritty and guttural, similar to a roar, left Derek's lips. He tilted his head to the side and kissed her deeply, proceeding to push her backwards towards the bed. Meredith's knees hit the mattress and she fell sitting on it. Derek joined her soon. He cupped her cheeks with both hands and kissed her deeply, leaving her breathless and excited.

"I'm scared to hurt you or the baby" he said gently, rubbing her cheek.

"You won't hurt me, Derek" she tried to reassure him. "And Mc Peanut will be perfectly fine with it"

"Are you sure?" his voice shaking and concerned.

"Absolutely. Dr. Milton confirmed me there's no contraindications to have sex… Please…" she added, her fingers trying to undo the buttons of his shirt. Derek let her do and Meredith got rid of a couple of them, finally touching her husband's smooth and soft skin. They both shivered for the sensation. She went on, opening the front completely and stroking his sides, his chest, her lips never parting from his. It had been a long time her fingertips didn't trace his defined body and Meredith couldn't stop, enjoying the familiar and sweet sensation. When her nails grazed his nipples Derek broke the kiss, his face nuzzled in the crock of her neck and he stroke his face against hers.

"Are you purring?" giggled Meredith, whose fingers were pitilessly petting his naked chest.

"Trying to resist this cruel torture…" he whispered, his voice deep and throaty. "I want you so much it hurts…"

"Let's get you stop hurting then…" answered Meredith kissing his throat. A growl left Derek's mouth and he stopped being passive and patient. His hands cupped his wife's bump gently and he moved up, slowly and measuring every inch of her body. He stopped when he reached her breasts and cupped them in his palms, causing Meredith to moan in his mouth. She stopped touching him and unbuttoned her blouse, to ease his task. As soon as Derek felt naked skin under his fingers, his hands moved under the tissue and he quickly reached her cleavage and neck, his mouth moving to tease the column and earlobe.

"I missed you so much…" he said hoarsely, causing Meredith to shiver. His thumbs hooked Meredith's collar shirt and he pushed the material off her body, leaving her exposed in her silk black bra. His fingers moved to her shoulder blades and then down following her spine, they insinuated under her pants and panties to touch the small of her back and ass. Derek caressed her hips and broke the kiss, locking eyes with her. He smiled standing and pulling her up. Meredith leant both palms on his chest and Derek kissed her again, his fingers unbuttoning her jeans. He pushed them down and helped her stepping out of them.

"You're beautiful…" he whispered gripping her chin and moving it upwards. Their eyes met and Derek angled his head to kiss her again. He was painfully aware of her hands slipping down his chest, fumbling to unfasten his belt. Meredith popped his jeans open and lowered his zip, her fingers touched the soft material of his boxers and Derek tensed, all his body tightening in desire. It was his turn to abandon his clothes on the floor and he smiled to Meredith lifting her in his arms. He kissed her lips again, carrying her around the bed and then knelt on the mattress, laying her down. Meredith fell on the smooth sheets, her hair splaying on the pillow and Derek hovered over her, caressing her cheek. "I want our baby to look like you" he kissed her again, this time more passionately, their tongues playing and engaging in a lusty match. When he pulled back, Meredith touched his shoulders and pushed his shirt off, circling his neck and pulling his face towards her. She kissed him hard, her teeth marking their territory, her knee teased his groin and Derek growled, parting from her mouth and nuzzling her earlobe.

"Still playing with fire, Mrs. Grey…" he whispered, propping his weight on both elbows not to crush her. His hand trailed down her chest and he unclasped her bra with a click, he left it in place and moved down. His pinkie hooked the hem of her panties on her hip and slid down till he reached the inner part of her thigh, he touched her and Meredith squirmed, her back arched, exposing her body even more.

"I want to pleasure you…" said Derek hoarsely before kissing her again "I want to love you" he added staring down at her.

"Love me…"

There was a hint of prayer in Meredith's voice, a hint of urgency and need and Derek sensed this evening wasn't meant for lust and teasing, it was meant to be pure love, to seal their union and reunion completely. Their bodies longed to be together, their skins were on fire, their hands couldn't stay off each other. And he hadn't the self-control to deny all of them what they wanted the most. He kissed his wife again, passionately and deeply and positioned himself for their ultimate intimacy.

"Meredith…" he whispered raining her face with soft kisses. It was a plea, the request of final permission, the expression of the burning desire he felt. All his body was ready to explode, his loins were aching, his arousal almost unbearable. Yet he wanted to be sure Meredith was really fine with it.

"Derek…" she mumbled, her fingers stroked his shoulder and bicep and he knew.

He took her hand and kissed the back of it, he interlocked their fingers and leant them on the pillow, over her head.

There was nothing frantic and hasty in their love making, they took all the time they needed to pleasure each other and feel each other. Their hands were restless in exploring all muscles, every inch of skin. Derek was very careful not to crush Meredith's belly, their baby. Even if they were more in control and less acrobatic than usual, they were both sated and satisfied when he collapsed on the mattress beside her.

"Wow…" he mumbled, curled on one side, his fingers playing with Meredith's hair.

"Double wow" she answered, her face turned to look at him and, when their eyes met, she giggled.

"What?" asked Derek, propping his face on one hand and staring down at her. Her skin burnt under his gaze and Meredith felt exposed and naked as ever.

"Nothing…" she said quietly, her hand moving on her chest to cover her breasts. Derek caught the movement and frowned "I'm just ugly and fat…" she muttered. Derek took her hand and moved it apart, discovering her to his sight.

"You're beautiful, Mer" he leant in to kiss her "and sexy as hell. I've been exercising my self control so much lately…" he said grinning, his hand caressing her cheek. She was smiling, probably relaxed, and he took the chance to go on. "But you weren't thinking about that… what is it?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing…" she said, amusement evident in her voice, though. Derek arched his brow quizzically and she bit her lip. "Fine… but you're going to think I'm a pervert"

"I know you are…" he said, grinning and raising her indignation. Meredith swatted his hand away.

"I'm not!" she scoffed, pouting. "And anyway no less than you are…" she protested and rolled on the other side, giving her back to him and pulling up the conditioner to cover her body. Derek smiled for her childish behavior and touched her shoulder.

"Meredith… I was just taking fun of you. You know I'm a dirty mind myself" he kissed her shoulder blade and stroke her side through the sheets. "But I loved this… it was amazing and mind blowing and we don't need to do crazy things to enjoy our love making. Actually… I think it has never been as good as now"

He heard her breathing out and smiled, she felt the same too only she was playing the mad girl, he needed to sweeten her a little bit again. "We'll go back to experiencing, I promise. But… the bendy thing… it's just out of our league now… you were thinking about doing it, weren't you?" he asked, keeping massaging her. After some second Meredith turned around, falling on her back and looking to him, a small smile stretching her lips.

"I was just imagining how we could do that with that huge paunch of mine…" she admitted rolling her eyes and Derek smiled, finding her adorable.

"We would risk to get stuck somewhere in the process…" he giggled.

"And go to the ER to get them untangle us" she said grimacing, remembering the couple she had treated years before, stuck in an awkward position while making secret and forbidden sex together.

"Our careers would end there…. Even if it would be a great way to say goodbye" he added laughing, kissing her forehead.

"Yeah… like if we hadn't our asses in the public display too much already…"

"Not to piss you off again but… it was mostly yours. And your panties" he added amused and Meredith sighed.

"Well… I will give more show in some days… who cares" she said yawning and Derek smiled, stroking her hair.

"Do you want me to go downstairs to take your cheesecake?" he offered.

"No… I'm fine, thank you. Do you think we can sleep here?" she asked biting her lip.

"Of course, that's our house, Mer. You'll have your cake for breakfast"

"Sounds good…" she mumbled yawning again.

"Sleep now"

Derek leant in to kiss her quickly but Meredith kept him in place and deepened the contact, her tongue stroking his mouth sensually. They parted and Derek smiled, locking eyes with her. "What was that for?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"It's for I love you" she said smiling "and you made this perfect thing for me and our family" she waved her hand towards the room, enlightened by the dim light provided by the moon "and you make me feel special even when you make love to me and I can do nothing but take" she muttered shyly, her hand caressing his side and moving down to stop on his hip, her fingers grazing his ass. "I want to do something for you too"

"You can do that…" Derek said gently, his eyes sparkling and Meredith misread his words. Her hand moved slowly across his waist but, when her fingers tickled the coarse hairs on his belly and Derek got her intentions, he stopped her, bringing her hand on his heart "I didn't meant that"

"No?" she asked, confused and surprised. Derek never refused her attentions, especially when she wanted to please him and bring him into a parallel world.

"I love when you touch me, I love when you make love to me" he said, kissing her "but you already did, Meredith. I really meant it when I said it was mind blowing. You caressed me, you touched me, you hugged me. I felt home and it felt… amazing" he stroke her chin smiling and felt her relaxing in his touch. "There's just one thing I want now…"

"What is it?" she asked, playing with the hair on his chest absent minded. Derek didn't answer, he just smiled and rolled on his back, fumbling in the dark to look for something on his nightstand. "Derek?" Meredith asked confused but he didn't say anything. A quick red light pulsed in the darkness and a muffled buzz caught Meredith's attention. She looked around to get the source of the noise but she didn't find it. Derek's fingers made her face turn into his direction.

"Look up, Mer… that's our window on the sky"

She had her private sky right in front of her. She had never decided who won that battle: sky or sea? Which of these two infinite elements was more worthy… deserved better to describe Derek's eyes? The sky sounded more peaceful, it was everywhere, like a big bell to protect you from everything. It could be utterly blue, it could be stormy, but it was there. Night and day, every season, every day, every breath. The ocean looked a bit more frightful to her, after it had risked to swallow her, after she had allowed it to almost swallow her. But Derek had been stronger than her, than the ocean itself. He had the same force, the same strength, the same deepness. But no… thinking of it, the sky was definitely the best pick. She got lost into it and she was rewarded by light blue gazing at her, her heart skipped a beat and she smiled, following his strange request. She rolled on her back and her mouth fell agape.

"Derek…" she murmured, her eyes tuning bright stars shining in the darkness. A part of the roof had retrieved and upon their heads, their bed, there was a giant window, allowing them to see the marvel of the universe.

"Now hug me…" Derek's low and sweet voice murmured her "that's what you can do for me… from now on"

Meredith rolled on her side, facing him. Her hand moved to his cheek, drawing soothing circles. Derek moved his body closer, their legs mangled and his hands landed on her belly. "Are you comfortable?" he asked, his eyes closed, his voice already altered by sleep claiming him.

"Perfectly…" she kissed his forehead and smiled seeing his lips twitching up. His breath evened and Meredith realized he had fallen asleep, worn out. She sent a last glare to the sky and smiled herself.

This was definitely her land and house too.


It's amazing what a little space can show you.

A wish, a dream, a path to follow.

A light to lead you home.

You close your eyes and there you go…

Everything comes back to its place.

You feel motivated, confident, a part of something.

Not in a black alley anymore… but in a magnificent room with a view.


I hope you liked it as I do... very much.

It was exciting to put bad stuff behind my back and writing this wonderful and totally MerDer experience.

I hope you appreciated their interaction, the lightness, the teasing, the intimacy.

I'm not good in describing hot scenes but I did my best.

Wait for reviews (even if short, even if two words... just send it!)