Chapter 20

My feet wouldn't stop moving, I paced the room like a caged animal, too angry to stay put, too afraid to venture closer to the window, or even to the other room where Sam was talking to his brother, to Danni.

My eyes were flashing, changing the colors of the world around me and it took everything I had to adjust to them, until that door opened and I stopped dead in my tracks, waiting for the attack, but Sam walked in, his hands raised, as if to let me know he was unarmed and meant no harm, which only had me curious on what he was doing.

"He wants me dead, doesn't he?" I whispered, not conscious that my thoughts had slipped from my lips.

"What?" Sam asked as he stepped closer, slowly, but still closer and he palmed my cheek, my eyes locking on his. "No, Ali, no! Dean doesn't want you dead, you need to stop that."

"I can't," I admitted, closing my eyes as I pressed against his warmth, "I have so much hate in me."

"It's the blades talking, the power," he reassured me, "it's the darkness."

"Sam, what John… what Asmodeus showed me, the way the world would be if Zane had his way," I shook my head, my heart breaking again at the images, "you were dead, Dean was dead… I can't… I couldn't survive if I lost any of you."

"You aren't going to lose anyone, Ali, we're working on it," he kissed me softly before he pulled back and his free hand came up to move my hair from my face, "give me time, I swear I'll fix it."

With one more quick kiss, he grabbed the large book that he and Cas had been looking at and disappeared out of the room. My heart raced as I leaned on the counter, trying to stop the flashes of smoky red, and finally, I moved to the table, grabbed the God Killer blade that I had set there and tucked it into my boot. As it touched my skin, the vision stopped, the race of my heart eased and I couldn't help but smile.

I stepped up to the door, opened my ears to the sounds of the room next door. The window was open, the conversation wasn't at all quiet and I could hear Sam trying to explain what we had found on the parchment but I could hear only one other thing, the same question from the two other in the room.

"You left her alone in there?" Dean growled and the grin widened on my face, not sure why I felt his question funny, but the voice I heard next was Danni.

"With the blade, Sam? You left her alone with the blade?"

And that was my cue.

I disappeared around the corner of the building, weaving my way through the back streets of Winchester, and I knew where I was going. I wasn't ever just a passenger in the car, I always made notes of landmarks and other places that might just need to be remembered and I found myself headed towards Old Town.

The Impala rumbled by on several occasions, the distinct sound of the Charger whistled in my ears and every time either of them passed, I ducked behind a building, stopped just short of the corner so I could see them but they never spotted me, and that didn't really make me happy, but I couldn't seem to get rid of the stupid grin on my face.

Chase! That was what it was, a great game of chase.

Entering the quieter side of Old Town, I walked calmly through the street as if I were just like everyone else, just a tourist, but I could feel the blade against my leg, and I could almost see inside every one of the people that surrounded me. I was getting closer to rush hour, closer to the walkways filling up, but this was also June and the start of the tourist season already had the place packed.

I just passed an alley, one that started out bright and sunny but seemed to fade into darkness, and the power that erupted from it made me stop. Looking around at where I was, I noticed the sign for the small Hideaway Café diagonal to where I stood, in the exact spot that Zane had stood before, when he decided that flying tables were just the right kind of thing to get my attention.

Glancing down the darkening alley, I turned and found my feet were silent on the cobblestone. Strange enough because I was wearing boots and being that it was almost like a tunnel, the sounds should have reverberated so loudly that they hurt my ears, but I heard nothing but silence.

Just as I crossed the line, the one that seemed to be drawn by dark and light, I felt the power shift, the lighter side taking over the darkness and I grinned. I hadn't recognized it before, but now, just on that side of reality, I caught the subtle hint of angel and the smell of his cologne.

Castiel stepped out of the darkness, from behind a large garbage bin, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans and I let out a breath, letting the six feet or so between us remain, as I looked him over from head to toe. He seemed to glow, almost like Dean and Danni, so much light in him, but he toned it down, so that it didn't hurt to look at and I felt the power in me reaching out to him.

"What did you do?" Cas whispered and I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped me.

"You know what I did, Castiel, you know I killed John." I answered and shook my head.

"Yes, of course, that I knew, but you're different," I watched as he tilted his head just slightly, as if this would give him a better view of what was inside me. "The darkness is taking over, I can feel it on you."

"The blades activated," I shrugged and held up my hand, letting him see the shadow of a tattoo against my skin. "Not sure what the hell it means, but it can hurt like a bitch when it wants too."

"May I?" He questioned as he stepped closer, holding his hand out, palm up and though I didn't see the harm in it, every hair on the back of my neck was standing up, waiting for his touch. When I hesitated, as Cas stopped and waited, my heart began to race as the blade against my skin began to grow warm. Gently, I placed my hand in his palm up and his fingers curled around my wrist, two on either side, his thumb running over the mark and I hissed at the pins and needles he created. "I'm worried about this, Ali, are you sure that you can handle what you're becoming?"

"I don't even know what that is, Cas, how should I know if I can handle it?" His thumb moved from the mark and rested in the middle of my palm, pressing down and I could feel it start to heat up. I watched as the light under his pad began to spread up my hand and sighed when it disappeared up my wrist. Like a high, I suddenly felt energized but mellowed out at the same time. He had given me something, a little bit of light to counter the darkness. "Can Danni do this?"

"In time…soon, I hope." Cas sighed, and released me. "Danni hasn't had the exposure to the light like you have had to the darkness, she isn't as "amped" up as you, if that would be what you might call it."

"So she needs a boost, and you can do that, right?" I questioned and watched him nod, but there was also concern in his expression. "You don't want to give Danni any power? Why?"

"I see what you are going though, and it worries me." At least Cas was honest.

"Sam wants to fix me," I stated and shrugged, watched as his eyes came back up to mine and locked on blue for blue. "What if there's nothing to fix? I mean, what if this is just who I am, who I've always been?"

"You're…" he started but his lips thinned as he thought about it, glancing around the alley before he came back to look me in the eyes again. "You're not darkness, Ali, you're not a creature of evil, it's not in your nature."

"Funny, it feels awfully natural to me." I grinned, but it wasn't a funny grin, more of a sarcastic one that if he were human he would have taken as "you got to be kidding me," but this was Castiel, not a normal man. "Tessa, did she get John where he needed to be?"

"Yes, John is safely in heaven."

"And Asmodeus?" I watched his expression change once more, unsure of how to answer it.

"He's…" his eyes drifted from mine, "wherever Princes of hell go."

"What do you need to tell me, Cas?" I questioned and watched him shift his weight.

"Danni," he cleared his throat and took my hand again. "A side effect of the light is that she will very much become like an angel, there will be no grey area for her. She will see right and wrong almost in black and white."

"Is that what's going on with her now?" I questioned, realizing that the two of us had been wrong from the start. My anger and her obsession, they had been off since the moment we arrived in the same place together. Not before on the way down, but almost the moment we stood in the same room, things had begun to change. "Her endless obsession with Dean and I, the way we connect? You're telling me she's somehow seeing this as wrong?"

"Well, you are with Sam." He almost rolled his eyes, almost but I saw him refrain from it.

"Okay, I think I get what you're putting out there," I smiled and shook my head, "she's got it in her angelic head that whatever connection Dean and I have is wrong?"

"She has a war going on inside, Ali, not of what is right and wrong between the two of you, but who to protect more, you or Dean. She feels the need to protect you from each other, not both, which is why she can't let it go." I let my head drop forward, confused beyond anything that there was nothing I could do to stop her from feeling that way especially if it was anything like the war going on inside of me. Cas placed a hand on my shoulder and I felt his fingers digging in, trying to comfort me, but I could also feel the energy he was pushing. "It hasn't come to the surface yet, Ali, but she'll get to a point where she will feel the need to choose one or the other of you and that might be an issue."

"Yeah, remove the obstacle in the way, that gets rid of the problem." I raised my head to look at him. "So, it will be either kill me and get rid of the darkness, or kill Dean and…" I paused for a minute and took a deep breath, "get rid of the light, maybe that's why he can calm me down, Dean has the light in him too."

"Just like Sam carries a darkness," Cas added and I shook my head, stepping back out of his reached. I let the feelings take over, moaning as I felt the anger build up in me and I clenched my teeth as it grew.

"You could have stopped this Cas!" I snapped placing my back against the wall but I stared at him, feeling the darkness flow over me and the smoky red took over and I could see the light that flowed through him. "You could have just done what I had asked you, turned it off, but you didn't do it. Now Danni," I leaned forwards, nauseous, and closed my eyes, "Danni will have to choose between us!"

"Ali!" Cas snapped, coming forward.

"No!" I growled at him, "if this can't be changed, you better do what you promised me you would. You better fix this!" I closed my eyes as lightning flashed before them and I felt the heat down in the pit of my stomach. Doubled over in pain, I reached out a hand, fingers feeling in the darkness that was starting to close in. "Cas, help. What the hell is happening to me?"

"Ali," his hand grasped mine but the shock of it alone had him pull back. "Ali, look up at me."

"I can't see!" I snapped but lifted my head so that I thought I might be aimed in the right direction. The light that pierced through was blinding, and I raised a hand to look at the outline of the angel, a white outline of a man. "Jesus, you're too bright!"

"You can see past my vessel," he sighed and I watched that bright hand come towards me again, which made me shrink away. "Let me help."

"Don't touch me," I whispered, not afraid but angry, "Cas, I might hurt you!"

"Oh, I don't think that's a might," his voice invaded and my eyes scanned the rest of the darkness for the red glowing outline of the demon that stepped into the alley with us. "I know she will." Zane stopped, his figured placed his hands behind his back and faced Castiel and I was suddenly watching a standoff. "Castiel, my father's? Mother's… parent's replacement. So good of you to keep John safe all these years."

"Zadimus," Cas sighed. "You need to stop this, you're going to kill her!"

"Cas, Cas, Cas, oh ye of little faith," Zane turned in my direction and stepped closer, I felt the heat become a blaze as the distance shrank and I turned my glowing eyes towards Cas, begging for help, but when Zane's fingers touched my forehead, the pain stopped, the burning disappeared and my sight went back to normal. "I wouldn't ever let such a precious thing die."

My legs gave out on me as I slid down the wall, exhausted but slightly on the energized side as well and my eyes were locked on the angel, whose blade slipped down from the sleeve of his jacket. Cas moved forward, advanced at the man who was just about to crouch before me and I watched as Zane flicked his wrist towards Cas. The angel seemed to soar off his feet and hit the wall with a hard thud. All I could see, from where I sat, was the limp hand of my friend stretched out in the darkness of the alley, the angel blade three feet from him and I felt the tips of Zane's fingers on my chin.

"My, my, look at you, my precious Kitten," he smiled with glee, "all juiced up with nothing to work your aggression out on."

"Don't call me that!" I growled and turned my eyes towards him. Zane smiled, used his free hand to run along my hairline before his thumb traced my lips. "Get the hell away from me!"

"You haven't even heard why I'm here." And oh, how I would have loved to punch him in the teeth. Placing both hands against the wall, I used it as leverage to push myself up to my feet, still a little on the shaking side but sturdy enough to keep me up and I swiped his hands away from me, but he grabbed ahold of my wrist.

"There's nothing that you can offer that would make me even want to listen." His smile turned evil and he pushed me against the wall, using all of his body to keep me there as he took hold of my free hand and wrapped his fingers around both of my tiny wrists, holding them tightly above my head. With force he wrapped his hand around my neck and held my head against the brick, making it so I couldn't look away.

"You are strong, more so than I thought you would ever be." His breath was against my face as he leaned in and stoked his lips along my cheek, close to my ear, "I want you to be my bride, rule beside me when I take over this world." His words alone brought the visions that John… that Asmodeus had shown me back to the forefront of my thoughts. Sam and Dean dead, Danni and Cas destroyed and me standing on the top of some damned bus looking over the mayhem with John right beside me. "Forget your little hunter, forget your Winchester, I can love you so much more than him."

"Sam," I whispered, as the tear fell from my eyes, the vision of his bloodied and broken body flashed through my mind and I struggled against his grip. "Let me go you son of a bitch!"

"You'll change your mind, Love, you really will." He smiled, his lips touching the corner of mine and suddenly he started singing, badly, "I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, bloody…"

"Screw off!" I growled and brought my knee up, connecting with his sensitive groin.

Zane doubled over in pain, backing off enough to free my hands and I reached into my boot to grab the blade. I brought it up as he rose, more pissed off that I had gotten the jump on him than anything and I swung, bringing it down across his face. I watched a red slash appear, glowing as if his essence was draining out and suddenly he was on me, grabbed the wrist of the hand that held the blade and slammed it against the wall.

I released it on impact and heard it fall to the floor as the stars flashed behind my eyes when my head connected to the wall as well. Dazed, I fought back at him with all I had but still nothing seemed to fend him off. He held me again, this time his arm was across my throat, pressing in as he cut off the air and I raked at him with my nails.

"Shh," he whispered as his hand ran down from under my arm, over my breast, and down to my waist. I struggled against him as his fingers came around and flicked at the button of my jeans. "Ut-ah, my sweet, just stay still."

"Fuck you!" I snapped and kicked at him again. I wasn't going down like this, wasn't going to submit to him and suddenly I felt it, the anger build up in my body, the heat in my stomach and I saw the flash across my eyes. I stopped clawing at his arms and reached out to dig my nails into his face as I cupped his cheeks in my hands.

With everything I had, I pulled at the dark energy that he released and I pulled with so much force that I screamed as it entered me. The heat in my stomach rose to my chest and flashes of his memories burned into my brain.

"ALI!" Cas' voice was just a whisper above the scream and suddenly there were two wails of pain, mine and Zane's but it was the angel's white light that stopped it all. "ALI! STOP!"

Cas forcefully broke us free, practically throwing Zane across the alley and he slammed into the wall, the brick crumbling behind him, powdering down on top of him as he landed. Cas held me up, pulled me to him and wrapped his arms tightly around me as he looked at the demon on the ground. He had snatched up the blade, held it tightly in his hand and with one more look at Zane, put his head down on my shoulder, blocking my view of anything except the softness of his black hair and the sound of his wings.

I'm not sure where he took me, but it wasn't the motel, it really wasn't anywhere, just a cabin in the woods, but I was too much of something and not enough of the other to figure it out. While the pain of syphoning the energy from Zane had been unreal, the high I caught from it was electrifying but my body was telling me it had been through battle and all I could do was lay on the old dingy couch Cas had set me down on.

"Where are we?" I whispered, looking around at the little shack and watched as Cas made his way back towards me with a bowl of water and a cloth.

"This was John's cabin." He said softly as he looked around, before brushing my hair from my neck. "You have cuts where his nails dug in."

I pushed his hands away and sat up on the couch, letting the room spin as I adjusted to the sudden movement. "I'm fine, Cas, they'll heal." He sat back on his heels and looked at me as I moved about on the couch, then spotted the blade on the end table behind my head. "That thing cut him and he didn't mend, why?"

"It's made to destroy anything supernatural, Ali, including Zadimus." Cas answered and stood, moving towards the small kitchen area again. "I was out for a while, what did he say to you."

"That he wanted me to stand by him and be his bride when he took over the world," I whispered and let the image of Sam cloud my thoughts. Cas sighed and I looked over as he put his hands on the sink and looked out the window. "Isn't going to happen, Cas, not while I'm alive."

"There is a distinct possibility that it might," he replied, which had me sitting up further on the couch, clinging to the back of it as he turned to look at me. "He was right, you are more powerful than anything we've seen, and the darkness as it in you grows in you, will take over any feelings for Sam."

"Ain't going to happen, Cas!" I growled and swung my legs over off the edge of the couch, a wave of dizziness hit me and I leaned forward, elbows to my knees as I placed my palms to my forehead. "Why are we here anyway?"

"This cabin is surrounded by a dampening field, one that no only keeps the powers out, but also keeps yours contained." He moved to sit on the chair across from me, and I could see his sneakers as he sat down, my eyes adjusting to the room as it stopped spinning. "You took in so much of his energy, so much of mine that I was afraid of an overload."

"Overload, is that what you call it," I smiled and shook my head, bad idea by the way if you are already spinning, "feels like a nasty hangover."

"It might take a bit for you to adjust to it, for your body to release some of it." Cas moved again, this time he placed both hands on my shoulders and pushed me back so that my head rested against the couch and I was looking up at him. The room seemed to stop spinning and I felt the coolness of a rough towel against the skin just above my eyes. "This way is better for your equilibrium, it will help with the dizziness."

"Cas," I whispered and reached out, placing my hand on his wrist. His lips went taunt, but I could tell that he was just watching for the moment when I started to syphon off from him again, a moment that didn't come. "Sam and Dean, Danni, they need to know I'm here and not off on some psycho killing spree."

"I'll," he turned his hand so that he was holding mine instead of me gripping his wrist. "I'll bring them work, Ali, but I don't know if it's safe to bring them here."

"I want Sam," I said softly as I closed my eyes, letting him see the image that Zane had locked in my head. "I need to know that he's all right."

"I'll do what I can, but I can't promise that I can bring him here, the magic is too strong."

"It's blood magic, Cas, Sam will be able to walk right through the door."

"How do you know?" I lifted my free hand and pointed at the door, opening my eyes just a slit, I followed his movements as he turned and looked at it.

"The AO3 symbol on the door, it's the same one on the research room in the basement, the same as the one on the blades."

With a confused look on his face, he turned back to me. "You shouldn't be able to enter here then, the magic should have kept you out."

"Blood magic like that doesn't just mean blood, it means essence as well," I sighed, and shook my head. "Asmodeus is part of me, part of Zane, which becomes part of me, and the blades," I raised my palm up so that he could see the darkening tattoo, "the blades are part of me now, which links me to every part of that symbol."

"How do you…" I stopped him with a smile.

"I read it somewhere once," I answered and closed my eyes as the world started to grow warm. I groaned, letting out the pain as the heat began to spread and Cas was by my side again. "God, if this is dampened, I would hate to see what it's like out there." My eyes flashed opened and I stared at Cas. "Go!" I ordered and watched his brows furrow, "go check on Danni, if this is happening to me, what's going on with her?"

"You have a point," Cas took a deep breath and I wondered if it were for effects or just a habit he had gotten into. "I'll let them know you're here and I'm sure with that knowledge Sam will want to be here as well."

"Thank you, Cas." I whispered and closed my eyes. With a whoosh of wings, I knew he was gone and I let the heat settle before the emptiness of what I hoped was some kind of rest took over.

I stood in the back alley of a bar, facing off with three demons. I could see their gray faces, the black eyes and the smoky red haze that surrounded their bodies and I twirled the blade in my hand, felt the smile move across my face as I just stood there.

"So you're the demon bitch that Crowley wants so badly." One of them, we'll call him George, spoke up. A stout man, rough around the edges but still a demon, he was bookended by two more, we'll say Lenny and Moe. Lenny was tall, muscular but nowhere close to the size of the boys, and Moe, well, he had that name for a reason, just odd looking and clumsy, but they were ready to fight.

"Crowley's looking for me," I gave them a snarky laugh, "why doesn't that surprise me?" I shook my head. "Everybody wants me for something, but no one is asking me."

"Yeah you're a really popular scank!" Lenny replied and I looked up at him from under my lashes.

I decided I don't really like Lenny, and I moved quickly, faster than they could see and stuck that blade in him so far that the guard touched his blood-soaked shirt. His face was one of pure shock that I had gotten the jump on him but as I watched him light up, seeing everything that made him, bones, muscles, blood, I shrugged.

"You should really be nice and not call people names." I hissed through clenched teeth and back away just the demon dusted out of him and his body crumpled to the ground. Admiring the work that the blade did, I was reminded of Dean's own demon blade, but my thoughts were interrupted by the other two in the room.

I turned on them, ready for a fight and smiled. The dance was simple, this time, because the blade seemed to do all the work, slice and jab, slice, twirl, jab. Just the tip until was time and then I thrust it in, and they got their licks as well, once across my jaw, the other to the stomach, but it didn't stop me, dazed me a bit, but didn't stop me from moving.

Moe went down rather fast, of course a knife to the back of the neck would do that to you if you fumbled on your feet and tripped past someone with said knife, but George seemed to be more of a challenge. We circled each other, his angel blade against my God Killer, not sure who was more well-armed but it didn't matter, I was done playing, I just wanted to go back to the couch and rest.

He came at me, swung, missed and I caught him across the chest with the blade. He turned, swiped, catching the tip of the angel blade across my upper arm, which stung and didn't heal, and which pissed me off as I turned and jabbed at him again, catching his gut, but still not deep enough. It was a game, a tiring game that I was done with and as he ran at me once more, thrusting his blade forward, I caught his arm under mine and brought the blade up under his jaw.

His eyes were full of horror that such a little thing had gotten him, but as his eyes locked on me, at the blood dribbled from his mouth. I shook my head.

"Tell Crowley, he can go to hell." I growled but then remembered that this demon wasn't going back. "Never mind," I ripped the blade from him and watched as he lit up like a candle. "I'll tell him myself."

George fell into a lifeless heap on the ground, and I let my hand fall to the side, the blade suddenly weighing more than I could carry and I let my head drop forward, the red haze clearing from my vision as I took in a deep breath. Sounds and smells surrounded me and I figured out that I was standing not only behind a bar, but one that was in Old Town, and the smell of burgers filled the air.

"Ali?" His voice was deep, threatening and I closed my eyes at the sound of it, wanting to reach out for him, to touch, to feel the comfort but as I lifted my head, turned it to look at the alley entrance way, I saw him standing here, green eyes filled with dread, blade in hand, fist clenched for a fight and I let his name slip from my lips.

"Dean."