Chapter 49: We can do normal things
As they all arrive back at the base.
Jason's rushed to medical section to get his leg seen and then is taken straight for surgery on it.
Everyone's exhausted and crashes out around the office. Davis is getting coffee on for everyone.
Trent's busy over at the medical too. Jason left instruction for him to organises getting CJ looked at.
They've put an antibiotic IV up for the past hour as it looks like the start of an infection which was making her feel really unwell.
It's quiet in the side room and she's laid on the bed drifting in and out of sleep though she's impatient to get out of there and go and see how Jason is but she can't as Trent's organised a scan to check that everything is alright.
"Hey!" Clay puts his head round the door "You Okay?"
She nods "Hey you! What you doing up and about?... You should be resting"
"I couldn't rest once they told me what was going on but I'm pretty good actually. Things are getting better... Just a bit sore and tender here and there now! They're gonna let me out tomorrow and I'm errr... gonna stay with Sonny for a while"
She nods "Sounds a good idea. Glad you're on the mend so quick" she smiles "so you been and seen Jason?"
"Yeah he's doing Okay! ..back from surgery and sitting up. Trent & Ray are down there at the moment but I'm not sure where Sonny's gone"
She nods "I'm gonna go down and see him when they've run this second IV and done a few checks"
"Alright! …You want me to wait with you? Keep you company?"
She shakes her head "No I'm good thanks...errrmmm I might just get some rest while I'm waiting. It's been a long tough day"
"But you're Okay? Nothing serious?" he frowns at her
"No, nothing serious" she shakes her head "just a bit of an infection. They're hoping this IV should clear it up"
The Doctor comes to the door "errrmm.. Excuse me...Im errr... sorry to interrupt, but Ms Lewis We'll be ready for you as soon as that bag is done"
"alright.. thanks"
"Ready?" Clay frowns "Everything is alright, isn't it?"
"Oh yeah.. as I said they just gonna sort this out and take a quick look check no other damage"
Clay frowns. He feels like there's something she's not saying
"You want me to come with you?... hold your hand?" he laughs
"No, I'm fine" she smiles "We'll apart from being tired... You go back. I'll be down when I'm done.. Clay…" he stops and turns back "…Thanks"
He nods "as long as you're alright?"
"Yeah I am"
"I'll get off then"
She nods at him.
She lays back and relaxes for a a few minutes "Pheww!" she sighs "Shit!... What a day!" she closes her eyes to rest them
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Trent, Ray, Sonny and Clay are sat around Jason's bed. He's got some drips and blood bag up.
C.J gets back from the scan and she stands in the door way, scratching her head, just quietly watching them all
Jason spots her "Hey you!" he smiles "How you get on? ... you Okay?"
They all turn to look at her
She nods "Yeah I'm good" a tired tear rolls down her cheek she wipes it "Just tired... You good?"
"Yeah I'm good. Bit groggy from the painkillers and the leg's just a bit sore but they say it'll be Okay!"
She nods "Good! I'm glad …. Look ..I'm just gonna get a coffee... I'll be back in a bit"
"CJ … "he calls after her but she's gone He Sighs
"Trent go check on her will you? see she's alright" he nods towards the door "then will you take her home? You know what she's like. won't give in" he sighs "but she's exhausted. It's been a tough day and she needs some rest"
"Yeah sure" Trent nods "I'll go now... check on you tomorrow"
Clay watches Trent leave he looks at Sonny and Ray wondering why Jason is fussing so much.
"everything alright?"
"Yeah why wouldn't it be?"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
She rubs her neck releasing the tension while she's getting a coffee from the machine.
"CJ... You Okay?"
"Yeah I said I'm fine Why are you following me?"
"Jason wanted me to check if everything's alright?" she looks at him and nods "yeah it's fine"
"Good! Everything with went alright with the scan?"
She bites her lip she just stares at the coffee machine
"You know I asked you not to say anything!" she takes a breath "it wasn't your place" she shakes her head
"Yeah .. I know I'm sorry but I just thought it was best for both of you that he should know?!"
She shakes her head, she's still angry with him
"I told you I'd tell him when I was ready"
she turns to look at him now "You know what Trent... I don't appreciate being cornered like that! ...forcing my hand into making decisions ...deciaiona... maybe I don't want? Did you think about that before you opened your mouth?"
she scratches her head as she shakes it in frustration at him. She lets out a long sigh before changing the subject "Is his leg gonna be alright?"
"Yeah! There's not too much muscle damage but it is gonna take time to heal and be strong again...He's gonna be out of action for a while"
"Shit" she rubs her head "he's gonna love that!... He'll be a nightmare" she laughs
Finally after pacing while drinking her coffee she sits down and puts her head in her hands
"Are you really alright?"
She shakes her head "honestly? …No! "
"What's wrong?"
"oh I don't know …" she sighs again " I just… I just want a drink." She laughs "It's driving me crazy!"
"You struggling with that?" he frowns
"Yeah! ...Yeah I think I am!" she nods "Oh and please... don't go telling Jason I said this cos he doesn't need it at the moment…and I know all the reason why I can't but….. don't mean I don't' want to" she's angry with herself for even feeling this way
"Okay... you need some help … then talk to me"
She shakes her head
"it's like it's …..there all the time… that thought .. the minute there's any pressure I just I can't get it out of my head
"its good you can talk about it...that means we can sort it"
"Really?,,,,yeah Cos talking… that solves it doesn't it?" she sighs and throws the rest of the coffee in the bin and walks off
Trent shakes his head he's not sure what to do now "CJ let me take you home" he follows after her.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
3 months later
She's stopped being sick and after washing her face and cleaning her teeth she stands in front of the mirror,vrunning her hand through her hair looking at herself standing there in her crop lace top and knickers.
She's getting undressed to have a shower
"you look like shit!" she sighs
Once again she's looking and feeling the at the scar on her stomach.
It doesn't hurt only the occasional ache now and again when she touches it but though its healed quiet well to her its still really noticeable.
Jason puts his head round the bathroom door
"Hey! You Okay now? ...You stopped being sick?"
"Yeah I think so!" she reluctantly smiles
"Look…I'm gonna drop Mikey at school you want me to drop J.C a preschool before I head off to my Medical?"
"Yeah that be great" she smiles.
She doesn't say it but she's really not in the mood for doing that today and wasn't actually going take him.
"I'll be back in time for our appointment this afternoon"
She nods. She's not really listening properly as she's still looking at her scar
"You sure you're Okay?"
he comes in the bathroom and stands behind her. He can see her looking at herself and and can tell by her face she's not happy.
He watches her in the Mirror for a bit long and he wraps his arms round her waist
"Is that still hurting?" he says as he places his hand on her scar and gently rubs it
"No!" she shakes her head "just looking!...it's still so noticeable"
"it's fine. I know you can see it but really... it's fine"
He smiles at her in the mirror as he rubs his hands gently over it then rests his hands cupping them round her belly. He lets out a small laugh
She frowns "What?...Jason?. .What are you laughing at?"
"You can tell now"
she frowns "Don't say that!"
She's been doing everything to keep it quiet and hide it and she now realises her jeans won't do up properly
"Just make me feel more shit than I already do...why don't you?"
She gulps as she turns sideways in the mirror checking it out
"Phewww!" she lets out a resigned sigh "you're right it's starting to get noticeable now... I'm not gonna be able to hide it much longer!"
"Hey!..." He pushes her hair over to the side and kisses her neck "you look great!"
"No I look big!" she sighs.
He carries on kissing her "Jason .. STOP!" he runs his hand over her stomach again and then up to her breast "you look .. and feel great to me!" he laughs
"Jason…." She smiles
He's still kissing her neck
"Come on!...Stop!... I need to have a shower" she brushes him off "And you've got an appointment with the Doctor to make!"
she turns around from the mirror and puts her arms round his neck "So… You think they'll sign you off as fit today?"
"I sure hope so! I'm not sure how I'll react if they don't"
She smiles "guess I'm gonna find out what it's like being a SEAL wife now" she laughs
"Hey... you Okay with this?" he frowns "you don't sound happy?"
"Yeah 'course! …I have to be" she shrugs "Look… I know there's only so many classes you can teach right? even if it's nice having you here. I know you can't do that for life … You'd hate it!"
she reaches up and kisses him and he kisses her back. Down her neck down her chest then down to her belly.
"Jason….. stop" she smiles running her fingers through his hair."mmmmm!"
"So ….I know errrmmm... we said we wouldn't say anything yet….. but errrmmm… as we having the scan today ...I was thinking we might come clean after and tell everyone?"
She shakes her head "Can we just leave it for a while?" she looks in his eyes "Why can't keep it to ourselves till we have to say something?"
"What about just tell the guys? They gonna guess soon anyway" he kisses round her neck and starts to slide his hand inside the lace top of her knickers
"NO!" she stops his hand "Look you're not getting around me like that!" she laughs
"Go!... take Mikey & JC then let me know how your appointment goes and Hey!... don't go getting spun up before this afternoon" she smiles
He kisses her "I won't"
"Right just Go!"
"Just a few people!?"
"NO!.. now go!
"Ok …Hey!..."
she frowns at him "What?"
"how about I come back after my appointment and we catch up where we left off here?"
She nods "how about you do that!"
She sighs as he leaves, and she looks in the mirror and runs her hand over her stomach "Shit!"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
She's' out of the shower and nearly dressed. She pulls her jeans on she can get the zip up, but the button won't do.
She closes her eyes and breaths in to try and do it but it's no good it won't go
"Shit!" she pulls her T shirt out and covers it over
She heads into the kitchen to get a glass of milk and as she puts the milk carton back in the fridge she sees Jason's 6 beers sitting there.
She bites her cheek as she stands there looking at them then she slowly closes the fridge door. She leans back on it with her head resting back against it thinking.
" Oh fuck it!" she pulls her T shirt down covering her waistband again as she opens the fridge back up and takes the top off one of the beers
She closes her eyes in total dilemma arguing with herself in her head.
Then she takes just a sip out of the bottle "God that tastes good" she can't say she's had nothing to drink in the past 3 months but she's had to limit the amount for sure and now this beer just tastes great. She leans her head back on the fridge as she drinks the rest.
She hears noise through the living room and quickly wipes her mouth and looks at her watch "that can't be Jason back already? Shit "
She quickly takes one more swig from the bottle and drops it in the trash. She wipes her mouth and has a quick drink of water.
"Jason? That you?" She listens "Jason?…."
She frowns perhaps she was too hasty getting rid of the beer. She wanders through to check
"Shitttt!"
she lets out a shocked sigh "oh my god... WADE! .. What the …. you gave me a fright…. Jesus! what the hell are YOU doing here?" she takes a moment to collect herself this is the last person she expected to see "Do you have a habit of entering without knocking?"
"Sorry but I did knock"
She was focusing on the beer she probably didn't hear "Jason will be back soon"
"No! errrm…. I don't think he will. He has school and preschool drops offs, a medical oh and …" he looks at his watch " a briefing scheduled in a couple of hours I think you'll find!"
She frowns "What the hell do you want?"
"Well with Reuben's unfortunate accident…."
She gulps.
"…Seems like I have had to pick up the mess" he smiles "plus…." He lays some paperwork on the table "..if anyone asks I have some paperwork in regards to your fathers house in Washington you need to sign"
She looks puzzled "What did you really come for?" she pauses looking at him "You know I don't have it any more? You know that right? It's Reagan you need to find. Not me! But then I guess you already know that too!"
"Catherine …" he sighs "you are your father's daughter." He smiles tipping his head to one side to look at her "Come on you're not stupid… I know you will have made a copy?"
She shakes her head "No! No copy!"
"Oh come on Catherine you know, and I know that file was your only protection. If father taught you anything it would be to back yourself up" he smiles at her "Look… How about a coffee and a talk"
"Wade I don't want to talk to you. I've got nothing to say. You need to go!" she leads the way to the door and opens it
He doesn't move "Come back to Washington!"
She frowns and then laughs "What?"
"I need to replace Reuben"
"NO!... besides even IF I wanted to I've too much here now"
"What this?" he points round the house "being the wife of a NAVY SEAL?" He laughs "That's not you"
"You don't know me"
"No maybe not now so much now I don't… but I did and…." He shakes his head "I knew your father well enough. I know how he struggled to control you. How you tested his patience. Maybe it's that spark that I need " he smiles
She shakes her head "No!... Just Go away and leave me alone… Ive got the chance of a life here now without all that. I already told Reuben all this. Go find Reagan get your file Play your games"
"I've..errrm… sent your fathers money to an account for you"
"What?" she screws up her face "I don't want any money"
"It was owed to your father for final contracts he signed before he was killed $300 000"
"it's Nothing to do with me!"
"Maybe? May be not! but it's there for you"
"I don't want anything linking me to that you understand… nothing!"
"But you are …. Linked"
"Just go away and leave me out of this"
"Look let's just talk"
She takes a deep breath and goes through to the kitchen and starts to make some coffee
"So…. Say I had this copy to give you, if it exists then what?" she turns to look at him "You keep me out of it? You find Reagan and you make him go away so he never comes near me again? … You can do that! Yes!... then that's the end of this You don't ever come here again, No contact EVER!"
"Maybe? if that's what you want?" he looks at her "Do you know what Reuben's down fall was?...…He was in love with you"
She frowns "yeah that's right!... cos you hurt people like he did when you love them?"
"No, he did. Really he did, He was stupid. He got blindsided"
"Wade. Why have you come here now?"
"I told you I had to clean up the Reuben mess …. and …" he coughs "Because we can't find Reagan"
She gulps. This worries her "You can't?" she frowns "WOW!...well then he's either dead or someone serious is hiding him! I mean if you can't find him? … Then SHIT!"
She looks at the clock "Look Jason will be back soon" She opens the fridge to get the milk for the coffees she looks at the beers sitting there. She sighs as she hesitates before closing the door
"Tempting aren't they?" Wade smiles
"I Don't know what you're talking about?"
"It Must be a struggle? I mean an alcoholic and alcohol in the same house, all that temptation, It's a bad combination. … I guess he thinks you're over it?"
"You don't know anything about me. That was the past…. Look What the hell do you want?"
"I told you come back to Washington?"
She shakes her head "I can't! ….I mean …I don't want to!"
"Oh, but you're tempted?"
"No!... No I'm not!"
He smiles and sighs "If that's what you want to tell yourself then fine"
"HEY!"
"SHIT! It's Jason! You need to go!"
"Just stay calm"
she opens the back door "Just GO!" Wade continues to drink his coffee. "Will you just go!"
"Hey!" Jason looks round the kitchen doorway "What's going on?" he frowns at this tall guy he doesn't recognise stood in his kitchen
She coughs "You're back that was quick?"
"yeah…. just thought I'd pop back… you know after the medical let you know how I got on and…errr. pick up where we left off this morning?" he smiles "Who's this?"
"How did it go?" she asks avoiding his question
"Yeah good!... they signed me fit for duty"
She smiles "that's great!... so you up and operational again?" she trying to keep him away from any awkward questions
"Yeah immediate effect " he's still frowning puzzled "So …I said…errrm.. who's this?"
She closes her eyes
Wade steps forward with his hand out "Hi, I'm Matthew Wade a friend and ..errrr…. colleague of
.. was a colleague of Admiral Lewis… errm I was in the area for some business so as I hadn't seen Catherine since the funeral, plus I had some paperwork regarding the Washington house I thought I'd drop by and say hello See if there was anything I could get for her and get the papers signed"
CJ looks worried. Jason frowns he's not sure what's really going on
"Jason Hayes" Jason puts his hand out to meet Wade's
"Ah yes Ive heard about you!"
"Can't have been good if it came from the Admiral?"
Wade laughs "well … you know the Admiral ..I don't think you were ever going to be his favourite person" he siles as he looks at he looks at his watch "Well I best make tracks. We'll catch up again before I leave"
She nods "errrr yeah be good" she looks at Jason. He looks really concerned
"Well nice to see you again Catherine" he kisses her cheek "I'll see myself out "
She takes a deep breath as he leaves "phewww!" she gently sighs
"What was that about?" he frowns at her
"He said….. Just a friend of my fathers"
"What's he want?"
She shrugs "just like he said about my father's house in Washington. I need to sort it out. I forget all about it to be fair and he had some paperwork come thought he'd tell me. I left him dealing with the Washington stuff after everything I probably should have sorted it sooner it's been so long I didn't give it any more thought while it was being rented"
"Never heard you mention him before?"
"No… errrm ..with everything … it's just not been priority … I need to get it sold now the renters are coming out and if I'm not going back there"
"What did he really want?" Jason think this this doesn't sit right
She sighs "Look he offered me a Job … in Washington"
"You're not considering it though?...Right?"
"No!... "she thinks for a minute "No of course not. I've left that behind" she smiles "You and the kids that's it now. It's all I need"
"What sort of job?"
"just stuff. Stuff I use to do it matter? I'm not interested"
"CJ I thought you were staying away from all that?"
"I am. That's what I said!"
"So, what's he doing here?"
"I told you…" she's getting annoyed at the questions now "He came like he said about the house and the job. …Look forget that. Forget him" she kisses him "Hey look at me" she smiles "tell me about your appointment. Did that say your leg is good now?"
"Yeah.. Yeah all good. No permanent damage. Maybe a few tweaks now and again but it's all good to go!
Jason's phone goes "Shit Ive gotta go back for a briefing"
"OK" she nods "You gonna make it to the appointment this afternoon though right?"
"Yeah of course… I promise" he puts his hand round her neck and pulls her forward and holds her as he kisses the top of her head "Us. me and you .. it's gonna be enough yeah?"
"Yeah of course" She smiles as she puts her hand on his cheek "You and me! OK?" she leans up and kisses him
He puts his hand on her stomach "so…can we tell everyone after the scan?"
She shakes her head "let's just see if everything's alright first take it from there. I don't know why we have to share it with everyone else so soon? Could it not just be our own secret for a while?"
"Look I gonna have to get ready to go soon"
She nods "OK Shall I meet you at the appointment later?"
"Yeah I'll meet you there" He kisses her again
"How long you got before this briefing?"
"hmmm…Gotta be there in about 40mins"
"Well why are we wasting time?" she smiles "Thought you said you came back to finish off where we left off?"
He smiles and grabs her round the waist and starts kissing her neck as he pulls her T-Shirt over her head and drops it on the kitchen floor. He backs her up against the worktop
"Hmmmm!" She closes her eyes as he undoes her jeans and works his hand in the top of her panties "Oh god….that's definitely were we left off"
"Phewww!" She sits up on the kitchen floor, running her hand through her hair and reaches for her T shirt she can see it laying there on the floor beside them
"That was quick" she smiles
"Sorry. I told you I've got a briefing to get to …" he kisses her
"Hmmm!" she frowns "I think I preferred when you were injured you had more time on your hands" she smiles
"Hey! I didn't hear you complaining just then?" he kisses her more
"mmmmm!...Oh no I'm not complaining" she bites her lip teasing him "Just saying"
He looks at his watch "Look … " he pulls her up off the floor "I'm sorry I've gotta go "
She nods "It's fine"
"I'll see you at the appointment?"
She nods "Just go to work"
"You Okay?"
"I said go!"
"I'll give you a call when I leave the base" He kisses her
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Jason's sat in the briefing he keeps fidgeting and looking at his watch. Time's getting on.
"OK we get it the intel's not all there yet …so can we wrap this up and when you get it then we'll go over this .. again?" he stares at Mandy " Yeah am I Right? Mandy is that it? No intel no OP till you get it….. Right?"
Mandy frowns at how distracted he is "Well we're hoping all the intel will be in place by the time we are on route"
"OK Gentlemen lets' wrap it up here for now! We're looking at 48hr window so start to clear your diaries" Blackburn looks at them all
"Shit!" Jason might have wished they didn't sign him off today
"Ray!" Jason calls him to one side "listen Blackburn wants to give me a pre flight briefing in the next couple hours if I'm not back can you cover me? I gotta be somewhere"
"You ok?" Ray frowns Jason has never got him to cover a commander briefing before he's never missed one
"Yeah I am but I got an appointment somewhere I can't miss it"
"Sounds errrm … worrying… the kids OK? Mikey, JC they both OK? Yeah?"
"Yeah. Yeah they're fine"
"Then what then Brother?" he frowns "Look…. I got no problem covering you it's just not something you've asked before, so must be pretty serious?"
Jason coughs and turns his back on the room "Look…" he licks his lips and folds his arms "this has to stay between me and you" he looks round "You can't say a word cos I promised her"
Ray frowns "Jason man you're worrying me now. What is it?"
He gulps "it's CJ.. she's … errmm …" he bites his lip and whispers "We got a scan today"
Rays eyes widen "a scan?" he frowns thinking "She's what? Oh… Oh Man … Shit! How the hell did that happen?"
Jason frowns at him
"Yeah I know that's not what I meant! How far gone is she?"
"About 14weeks but that's what we're gonna find out for sure today"
"Shit!... errrrr man! WOW! Errrm … so Brother is that congratulations?" Ray frowns. He certainly wasn't expecting to hear this
"Yeah its good?" Jason smiles "Right yeah? ..Good?"
"Yeah!.. if that's what you both want? You sure?" Ray looks him in the eyes and Jason looks away
"Yeah of course Why wouldn't I? Normal Right? like normal people!"
"Man.. I errm .. don't know what to say" Ray shakes his head "Look don't take this the wrong way but this is CJ… be careful there man .. "
"What you trying to say Ray?" Jason's slightly annoyed at his comments
"Look .. Man I don't wanna put a dampener or it but Come on man when does she do normal? Complicated yes but normal?"
"She's good! Ok! she cleaned her act up She wants this!"
"Yeah but do you? It's a lot to take on!"
"Yeah! Yeah I do. look …" he looks around so no one can hear "I love her Ray"
Ray sighs and shakes his head "Well if that's how you feel then I'm pleased for ya Seriously brother I am" he slaps him on the arm and smiles
"Good so you'll cover if I'm not back"
"Yeah sure… You know that you don't have to ask that "
"Ok look We'll meet up for drinks when I get back and Celebrate me getting my clearance to operate back" he laughs "looks like we gonna get spun up in the next 48hrs anyway if Mandy has anything to do with it!"
Jason leaves Ray rubs his beard and shakes his head he wishes he could be happy for him
"Pheww! man!" he's known her and Jason and how they've been for far too long to think this is going to be a smooth ride
"Something up there?" Sonny leans over his shoulder
"No! errrm.. Nope it's all good. Just gonna meet for drinks when he gets back"
Sonny looks at Ray he's not convinced by the nothings wrong story
o-o-o-o-o-o
"CJ where are you? Pick up the phone. This is the second message I've left you" she's not answering "I'll come get you instead of meet at the clinic so don't leave"
He gets back to the house
He's been slightly worried on the journey back . Not only did she not pick up his calls but they had the strange visitor this morning
He unlocks the front door "CJ … CJ! where are you?" he looks around. No sign,
He pushes the bedroom door open she's sound asleep on the bed.
"Pheww! Thank God!" he lets out a long sigh all his worries are gone. He smiles "she's just overslept"
"Good job I came to pick you up"
His then face drops as he sees the glass by the side of the bed he picks it up an sniffs "OH shit!" he shakes his head
"CJ WAKE UP!" he puts his hand on her shaking her awake "Come on WAKE UP!" she rubs her head "What the hell is this?" he points to the glass "you nearly missed our appointment!"
"Oh, shit" she sits up runs her hand through her hair and looks at the clock on her phone " errrm .. Oh that it was just small one I just had couple of sips to help me sleep. I just needed a rest that's all"
"CJ You can't do this now you know that!"
"Its fine! Look it's not gonna do any harm!"
He shakes his head and sits on the bed and strokes her hair "Look you need to speak to me when you are struggling so I can sort it yeah! Not this… "
"I know I should have done"
He looks at his watch "Look we'll talk when we get back let's make this appointment"
She brushes her hair back and reties her ponytail "yeah sure" she smiles "look I'll be fine it was just a wobble today"
"That guy Wade that came here. He worried you?"
"No! Wade?... No! he's' fine He's not a problem" she shakes her head
Jason's so disappointed in her but he tries not to show it. He pulls her up off the bed brushes her hair back "Look we do this together if you're struggling You need to tell me"
She nods "I will it's OK I'm fine" she leans in and kisses him
"come on let's go do this" he kisses her again "Look we'll go get some food when we've done. I told the guys we'd meet at the bar to celebrate me getting signed off medical cos looks like we gonna get spun up in the next couple of day from what Mandy's putting together"
"OH ok!" she frowns
"Thought it do us good a change of scene for a bit before I go?" he smiles
"Yeah sure"
"OK Let's go get this done!" He kisses her
