I could feel myself drifting off. I had to keep smacking myself to keep myself awake. I couldn't fall asleep. I had to be awake when he woke up. I stared into his beautiful face, praying he'd wake up soon. I needed him to wake up. I needed him to be okay. I squeezed his hand in mine, and laid my head on his arm, allowing my tears to hit his skin. I knew I was breaking my rules, I knew I was doing what I said I wouldn't do, but it didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore. All I cared about was that he was okay.
"Come on… please, wake up. I need you to wake up." I whispered, squeezing his hand tighter. I felt him apply a little bit of pressure back to my own fingers. My head snapped up.
"Adrian?" I whispered. I squeezed his hand and lifted it to my lips, kissing it. "Come on, you can do this… open your eyes, please." I whispered.
"Rose?" He croaked.
"Yes baby, it's me… Come on, open your eyes, I need you to look at me."
"I thought you said you couldn't be around me-." I cut him off by placing a hand over his mouth.
"I lied. I need you in my life. I couldn't go through with it. Adrian, right now… I need for you to look at me, please… open your eyes." His eyes fluttered, and opened. I smiled. "Adrian." I whispered. He smiled.
"Little Dhampir." He murmured.
"God, I'm so glad your okay." I whispered, squeezing his hand.
"There for a little while, I thought you were going to break my fingers."
"Oops, sorry." I said, releasing his hand.
"No…. No, it's okay." He said, grabbing my hand and holding it in his. I smiled although a tear slowly leaked down my cheek.
"I thought I lost you."
"The last thing I heard was you scream my name…" He said. He scooted over in his bed, and patted the empty space.
"Come here." I climbed up into the hospital bed with him.
"I don't know what I would have done if you wouldn't have woken up." I whispered.
"You would have gone on about your little happy life like you never met me."
"It wouldn't have been that simple. You don't realize how much you impact my life." I whispered. He smiled.
"That just made my day…. You know, aside from the whole being smacked around by a strigoi." He said. I sighed.
"I almost killed Viktoria."
"What?" He asked, seriously concerned. It bothered me that he was concerned for her more than it should have.
"Darkness came, and I just flipped. I blamed her for everything. I freaked out on her, and she smarted back to me, and… I tried to kill her. Dimitri stopped me, obviously." I said.
"You didn't hurt her… did you?"
"No. I didn't hurt her." I whispered. I wasn't going to add that I kind of wish I had hurt her.
"Your necklace is out." He said, touching the charm.
"Oh no… we're not doing this again. You're not charming anything. Not any time soon. You just got bitch slapped into a wall by a strigoi. You're not ready for that kind of stress yet." I said.
"Rose…" He started. I took his hand, and shook my head.
"Don't. I said no, and I mean it. If it means I have to be locked up with a bunch of strigoi intent on killing us again, then so be it." I said. He shuddered.
"Don't wanna go there again." He said.
"Me either." I said, smiling.
"Does Dimitri know you're here?"
"He does. He left earlier. He was here too." I told him.
"And he's… he's not flipping out or anything?" I shook my head.
"No, he isn't."
"So, we're all cool?" He asked.
"If you asking because you want to know if he's going to come after you, then yes… you're safe." I said. He smiled.
"Good." He said. I giggled.
"God, I'm glad you're okay."
"Where would you be without your sense of humor, Ivashkov?" I said.
"A big fat nowhere." He said. I smiled.
"You're probably right." He smiled, and shook his head."How's your head?" I asked.
"Throbbing, but no doubt, I'll live. Being bitch slapped by a strigoi isn't something I recommend."
"Definitely not. I wish you could have heard your head when I smacked the wall, god… I just knew you were dead."
"I may not have heard it, but I damn sure felt it." He said. I shuddered.
"I hated it. I took that strigoi out… like, with a fiery vengeance. I did you justice."
"Good to know." He said. I smiled. He reached up and touched my face. "Your cheek is bruised."
"Dimitri hit me." I said. Adrian growled, and for the first time ever, he actually looked like he could really harm someone.
"Why the fuck did he hit you?" He demanded.
"I was trying to kill Viktoria, and he couldn't snap me out of my darkness rage I was in, so he hit me. It was the only choice, or I would have hurt him, and her." I said. He frowned.
"I'm sorry."
"I deserved it this time." I said. He shook his head.
"How long have I been out?" He asked.
"About four hours."
"Have you been here the whole time?" I nodded.
"Yepp, sure have." I said.
"Go home and get some rest. I'll be outta here in the morning."
"I don't want to just leave you." I said. He smiled.
"I'll be fine. Go home to Dimitri. I'm sure he's worried." I sighed.
"Alright.. If you need me, you know where I am." I said. He nodded. I met his gaze for a second and smiled. I leaned down and kissed him quickly.
"I'm glad you okay." I said, as I crawled out of his bed, and walked out. I headed out of the hallway and to our room. When I walked in, all the lights were off, and our bedroom door was closed, but I was positive he wasn't asleep. I walked in, and dropped bag, crawling into bed beside him. He rolled over, and smiled at me.
"I take it he's awake?" I nodded.
"Yeah, he is." I said, snuggling up into his arms.
"Is he okay?"
"He's fine. He's back to his normal self." I told him.
"Is that good or bad?" He asked. I smiled.
"Definitely good." I said. I kissed his lips. "Thank you for letting me stay with him."
"You're welcome. I had a feeling if I would have told you no, you would have done it anyway." He said. I shook my head.
"If you asked me not too, I wouldn't have stayed." I said. He smiled.
"I know you would have. I was teasing." He murmured. He pressed a kiss to my lips, and smiled. "I'm glad everything worked out and everyone's okay." I nodded.
"I have to go talk to your sister in the morning. I feel horrible for the things I said to her."
"She knows it was the darkness." He said. I shook my head.
"You heard her snap at me… she believed me. I have to apologize." I said. He nodded.
"We'll worry about that tomorrow." He said. I nodded.
"I'm sorry I tried to hurt you earlier." I whispered.
"I'm used to it by now." He said, poking me. I rolled my eyes.
"I hate that I still get like that…. I wish I could—." I cut myself off before I could say something I regretted. If I made it stop, that meant the bond would have to break, meaning… Lissa or I would have to die, and that wouldn't be happening any time soon.
"If there was some way I could take the darkness away from you… I would." He murmured. I shook my head.
"No. Do you have any idea how hard it would be to stop you if you went on one of those rampages? You would murder the whole court before I could get a hand-hold on you." I said. He smiled.
"You may be right. You're easier to restrain."
"Yeah, and the longer you restrain me the more it pisses me off, and then… I get vengeful." I said. He chuckled.
"I know."
"This whole place would be fucked if you were eat up with darkness. You'd take each and every one of us out." I said. He chuckled.
"You're probably right." He said. I grinned.
"You'd go all bad-ass Russian god on everyone." I said, giggling at remembering what I used to say about him in school. He raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"Nothing." I said, smiling.
"No… tell me. What are you talking about?" He asked.
"I used to think of you as a Russian God back in school. I just remembered that." He laughed.
"I was hardly a God. Bad-ass and Russian, yes… God, no." He said. I giggled.
"God, I love you." I said. He smiled.
"I love you too." I snuggled up closer into his arms, and smiled.
"Goodnight my Russian God." I said.
"Goodnight my little Bad-ass." He murmured. I smiled, and buried my face into his chest.
ADRIAN'S POV
I went to her in her dreams, knowing she was probably upset if Rose blew up at her. Rose couldn't help it, but regardless… she'd still be upset. When I finally found her, she wouldn't look up at me.
"Tori?" I asked. She shook her head.
"Adrian, I'm so sorry." She whispered.
"Hey… shhh, it's okay." I said, walking over and sitting down next to her. I pulled her against me, and smiled.
"It's okay. I'm okay."
"You… you could have been killed because of me." She whispered. I grabbed her face in my hands, and pulled it up to look at me.
"I could have been, but I wasn't. I'm right here, and I'm fine. I woke up about an hour ago. I'm okay now. I really am." I promised. She shook her head.
"Rose was right. I'm not ready to be a guardian. I don't deserve to be your guardian." I shook my head.
"Rose said those things because of the darkness, Tori. She didn't mean any of it. She loves you. You know she loves you."
"You should have seen her face. She… she tried to come after me. I don't blame her. I would have deserved it. I wouldn't have fought her." She said. I shook my head.
"VIKTORIA BELIKOV, you listen to me… What Rose said doesn't matter. She wasn't herself. What matters is what I'm telling you. I'm okay, I'm fine. You were almost killed again, trying to save me. I don't care that I got slapped around a little. I'm fine now, and that's all that matters." I whispered. She frowned.
"I'm… I just… I can't be your guardian anymore." She said. I shook my head.
"Viktoria, don't do this… I need you."
"You have Rose again. It's obvious she's back in your life now, and you love her. You don't need me. She'll protect you better than I can." She said. She was killing me. I shook my head.
"I don't want Rose to be my guardian. I want you, Vik. I want you to be my guardian."
"You don't mean that. I know you want her.." She cried. I wiped the tears from her face, and brought my mouth to hers, kissing her as sweetly as I possibly could, conveying everything I couldn't put into words into that kiss.
"Adrian… I…I.." I put a finger to her mouth, and shook my head.
"I love you, Viktoria." I watched as her eyes went wide, and more tears slowly leaked down her face. "I don't want to lose you. Please, be my guardian. Be my everything." She just smiled, and reached up, wrapping her arms around my neck, and bringing her mouth back to mine. I smiled against her lips. It was in this moment that I realized, I could move on from Rose. I knew she needed me to move on, and I needed to move on for me. I could do it, and I would. Viktoria could help me. She would be to me what Rose never actually could. When she pulled away, she grinned.
"If you didn't get it, that was my way of saying 'I love you too'." She said. I chuckled.
"Yeah, I think I got it." I said, pulling her into my arms. She smiled.
"Good." She said. She turned to kiss me again, but I was sucked out of my own dream when someone walked in the room. Damn it. I opened my eyes to see a nurse. She smiled.
"Sorry to wake you. How are you feeling Mr. Ivashkov?"
"I'm feeling better." I said, bitterly.
"I'm glad. Can you sit up for me please?" I sat up and the room started spinning. She grabbed me so I wouldn't topple over off the bed. "Are you sure your okay?" I nodded.
"Just a little dizzy. Can I go home?" I asked.
"Are you going to be able to get there on your own?" She asked. I nodded. If I was going to my own room, probably not, but since I wasn't going to my own room, yeah… I could make it.
"I'd feel a lot better letting you leave if you had someone to help you." She said. I smiled.
"I'll be fine." I promised. I got out of the bed, and stumbled my way to the door. I made my way into the Dragomir wing and to Viktoria's room. She opened the door before I even got there, and smiled.
"I felt you coming."
"Mind if I stay here tonight?" I asked.
"Not at all." She said, opening the door wider, and allowing me to stumble in.
