Chapter 44
Nephrite's arms enclosed Makoto as they lay together on her couch. Unbeknown to him, she was musing about his hair. She lay glaring at it out of the corner of her eye. Honestly, it bothered her that he cut his hair off so short! He thought that the case was closed after their heated discussion about his choice to lose the long locks but deep down it wasn't closed for Makoto. She frowned deeply.
"What's up, love?" Nephrite asked, the endearment falling off his lips without a second thought.
"No, it's nothing," Makoto brushed it off.
They lay together in silence for another few minutes. She continued to frown in frustration as he allowed her to stew. He knew what she was like when something bothered her. She always exploded when the frustration bubbled inside and she'd spill the beans. He learned never to push answers out of her very early on. He didn't need to wait long.
"Your hair, Nephrite!" she wafted her arms in front of her, as if to point out that this was a big deal… which to him, it wasn't.
He smirked. "Yes?" he teased.
"Why did you do it? You ruined it!" she sighed. Her mouth turned down at the sides.
He leant over her and kissed her on the corner of her mouth. He tweaked her nose and replied, "I wanted a change… and it will grow again, you know." He winked down at her. "I thought we had already discussed that change is a good thing."
She sighed again. "I know… I'm just sad it's gone."
"It has been ages since I cut it, Mako-chan," he said patiently. "I just like feeling like my own person as opposed to one of four of a group of guys."
Her frown softened, and she looked up at him. "I supposed so. It was just one of the things I loved about you."
He perked up. "So, tell me. What did catch your eye first?" he probed carefully.
"Your arms," she said immediately.
He raised his eyebrows at her. "Really? Why is that?"
She eyed them. "You have great arms," she smirked. Then, "you had possibly the best posture when we danced."
He laughed. "I had to considering my date was a total amazon!"
She giggled.
"What else?" His head came close to hers, as he brushed his nose against hers, flirting the lines for a kiss but not giving one. Her skin tingled and she gave a gasp of breath.
"Your jawline," she breathed.
He looked up and stared into her eyes, questioning.
"It's one of your most attractive qualities," she licked her bottom lip, wishing the blush wouldn't rise in her warm cheeks.
"One of?"
"We've already listed your hair – that is now gone – and your arms. Your jawline was just a breath taker."
He smirked and rolled her underneath him, keeping him hovering above her so that she wouldn't feel his weight. "Well, I love your sparkling green eyes… your high cheekbones… your long legs… your soft lips…" he descended on her lips, as she gasped.
When they came up for air, she breathed against him, "love?"
"You started it," he tweaked her nose. "No take backs."
Usagi sat with Rei at the Hikawa shrine, the Shinto shrine where Rei lived and worked in with her grandfather. Rei was pouring rose tea for them both, something the girls had grown to love after Makoto had introduced them to it. Usagi sat back on the cushion in front of Rei's fire that she usually meditated in front of. She stared into the flames as Rei set the cup down in front of her.
"Here, Usagi-chan," Rei gestured to the drink.
Usagi smiled in gratitude and took up the tea in between her hands. "Arigatou, Rei-chan."
"You look worried, Usagi," Rei said.
Usagi's eyes widened and her mouth down turned. She shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just confused. Again."
Rei's eyebrows raised quizzically.
"Who is Mamo-chan to me, Rei-chan?" Usagi said bluntly.
"You were dating for about six weeks before the accident," Rei replied.
"Dating? Were we in a relationship?"
Rei nodded her head. "I suppose so. You were both rather enamoured with each other. You were always so excited to see him. You lit up when you were around him. He was always so careful with you."
Usagi sat and mused about this silently, considering Rei's flames. She sighed. "I don't know what to do, Rei-chan."
Rei put her arm comfortingly around her friend. "You don't have to know, Usagi. That's the beauty of it. However, there is one thing I must ask you."
Usagi turned to look at her, surprised. "What is it?"
"Seiya."
Usagi paled.
"Ah, so something did happen, then," Rei deduced.
"What do you mean?" Usagi asked quietly.
"Minako was talking to Yaten when she saw him in the music store and he mentioned that you blew Seiya off. What was that about?"
"I guess we had a heated conversation," Usagi frowned.
"Go on," Rei encouraged.
"I blamed him for ruining my life and it sounded like I put all the blame onto him. I think I was being unfair. I was just frustrated, and he started crowding me again. I'm trying to understand how Mamoru fits into my life and why I feel the way I do. I feel things with Mamoru that I haven't felt before, but it feels familiar… safe. Seiya – he's complicated. He confuses me. I know he feels guilty and that's probably why he was around so much in the beginning. But it's more than that now and it makes me feel worse that I don't feel better, Rei." Usagi sighed, looking helpless.
Rei's heart went out to Usagi.
"We're here for you, Usagi-chan. Mamoru will always wait for you. Just know that he cares for you, so much. And believe it or not, no matter how confusing it is for you, you cared for him too. It's just going to take time." She squeezed Usagi into her side.
"How do I do it, Rei?" Usagi pursed her lips. "Seiya told me he fell in love with me. I can't do that. I don't feel that way. What do I do about Mamoru?"
"If it helps, you and Mamoru never got that far, Usagi."
"We didn't love each other?"
"That's not what I mean. You never directly expressed love to each other, like Seiya clearly did to you," Rei explained. "Not that that was helpful," she mumbled to herself, frowning at Seiya's actions.
"You don't need to start with love. Just start with friends," Rei took a gulp of her rose tea.
"I guess that sounds easier." Usagi paused. "Do you know how Mamoru feels about me?"
Rei stopped. "No, not really. He was selfless with you. A gentleman."
Usagi raised her eyebrows. That's different to the man she remembered before her accident.
Selfless. That word made her feel warm.
