GothinBlack
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My frustration was taking over me in gym later that day. I couldn't stop thinking about that morning, about what she had done to herself.
I had never thought she would do something like that. She never drank, or at least I thought. I wondered constantly why complicated situations kept happening in my life. Did I deserve something like this?
I honestly didn't know what my life was turning into. I never wanted to believe that my own mom was an alcoholic but honestly the thought of it stayed in the back of my mind as a possibility. I really hoped she would listen to what I had told her that morning and really get rid of all that alcohol.
I even decided to myself that I would go back home after school to make sure it was gone. After leaving my house that morning I couldn't say anything to Alex I was to dumb founded by what happened.
I guess I really hadn't expected that to happen. It reminded me of the night when Jared had to leave and she raised her voice at me to leave. that had been the first time she ever yelled like that to me, but now it was the second.
I remembered just by me touching the glass and moving it away from her she yelled at me to not take it away from her like it was some sort of life line to make things better. Perhaps that was what she felt like the alcohol could do for her, was make her feel better.
If that was the case then I would definitely need to go see her after school today. But of course I was still frustrated by the thoughts crossing threw my head.
So much had happened through so many weeks and I didn't know if I could take much more of all the drama and stress. It all felt like it was weighing down on me.
"Gareki !" yelled the coach the third time finally getting my attention from the bench I was sitting on.
"You're in, take Chad's place."
I got up just as one of the players from soccer practice named Chad sat down replacing my seating spot and I walked on field and into position for the next on play. I looked up from my position to see Alex giving me a small smile like he usually gave me but I was to caught up in my thoughts to notice it fully or return it.
I heard the faint sound of the coaches' whistle sound off and the visitor team got the ball first heading strait for our goal.
I looked up for a split second to see who was all on my team and could see that Alex was, along with a couple others.
He was running speedily after the player who had taken the soccer ball and my body acted on it's own guarding another player from the visitor team from getting the ball just in case he decided to pass it and he did but to another player on his team since one of my own team mates had blocked his path.
But I quickly blocked his pass and kicked the ball around two other players before they could even get their feet on it, I headed in the opposite direction which was the visitor's goal. As I did this I was still so consumed by my own problems from earlier that still couldn't find their way out of my mind.
I become angry, angry that my life had turned out like this. I had already lost my dad and now I was going to possibly lose my mom because of her resent alcohol problem, which I knew she wasn't going to give up so easily since she was so hurt by the two men that had left her.
I got blocked easily by two other players from the other team.
"Gareki !" a voice called out. I looked up to see Alex open.
I glared down at the ball feeling my fist clench and my body grow hot with the anger I had been feeling. I needed to get rid of it, I placed my foot in position and kicked the ball as hard as I could. Not paying attention for who ever it was aimed at.
The two guys that had been blocking me quickly moved out of the way falling to the ground from their own swift movements but one of my teammates wasn't so lucky.
My body grew from hot to frigid just for a split second as I watched as the soccer ball hit Alex who stood not fast enough to move out of the way was hit in the face with the ball and flew backwards on the grass. . .unmoving. From my view point I could see blood coming from his nose and the corner of his mouth and my blood rain cold from the remembrance scenes from my nightmares of seeing him dead at my own two feet.
I fell to my knees my face completely shocked, my eyes wide as my mouth gaped open. I could see my team and the other team running towards him yelling his name.
A wind blew behind me ruffling my hair in my face as well as my T shirt and gym shorts. Oh God, what had I just done? I had heard of severe accidents that happened in soccer and I definitely hadn't kicked the ball softly for none of them to not happen.
The next thing I knew I had gotten to my feet and pushed people aside and was crouching down in front of his body with both my hands on either side of his face.
"Alex, can you hear me?!" I let go of his face and held onto the back of his neck instead.
His head lolled back with out a reply.
"Oh no." I breathed in panic before I was pushed aside by the coach who told us all to back away so Alex could get air and I saw him being lifted up by two class mates by the arms towards the nurse's office.
Class went on as if nothing happened but I knew something had happened, it kept replaying in my head causing me to become distracted and easily end up tripping over the soccer ball that came rolling my way and I landed hard on the ground.
I slowly picked myself up and looked down at the grass. Was my life honestly made out of disaster moments waiting to happen to me?
I didn't understand it, Did some ones life ever had to be filled with so much drama that they had to deal with this every day and not completely fall apart.
I got a scolding from the coach after gym was dismissed. He told me to stay focused and to not ever cause an incident like that ever again or else I would end up in detention and I didn't want that again.
Once I got into Band class I sat at the piano pressing down on random keys as I told both Nai and D.C what had happened.
"bout time you got him back for hurting you during that breakup." Nai said dryly.
I pursed my lips and glared at him making him shrug and type away on his phone. I snatched it away from him causing him to look up at me. " Hey!"
"Hey your damn self, what's your problem with Alex anyway, I thought you guys were okay with each other now." I said with edged anger in my voice.
Nai blew out a breath looking the other way and not bothering to answer my question.
"So you're staying silent now?" I asked. He turned back to me giving me a hard look.
"He doesn't deserve you."
I opened my mouth to say something but became speechless as I registered what he had just said." What the hell are you talking about?"
D.C looked between both of us not sure how to interfere with the heated conversation. "Guys come on, you shouldn't be doing this- "
"No. I interrupted. I want to know what he means." I squinted my eyes dangerously at him.
"He isn't good enough for you, Gareki, don't be angry with me because I'm saying the truth."
" And you're supposed to be any better, is that what you're trying to say?" I asked angrily.
" Yeah, I would be way better then him any day and any time, I still don't understand why you like a guy like that."
"Nai !" D.C interjected silently understanding that I was getting angrier by the minutes he kept talking.
The class was to busy chatting and playing their instruments to notice what was occurring by the piano.
"What?, He needs to hear this D.C Alex isn't as great as he seems-
I was out of my chair and had his collar in my hand in seconds. I heard D.C get out of her chair and stand next to me with a grip on my upper arm.
"Gareki, listen to me, calm down okay." She said calmly. But I wasn't listening.
The class was watching us now.
I glared into his eyes and his in mine. We were close, faces inches apart. " You don't know him and you'll never understand the things he's gone threw for me and for himself, so I think it's about time for you to stop being jealous of him and worry about your damn self. I'll be damned if I let you talk about him that way again. So leave him alone. Got it." I said through clenched teeth shoving away his shirt causing him to move away from me.
I glared at him as I backed away and grabbed my back pack along with my guitar shrugged it on and left the room heated with anger. Not even caring if passing period wasn't dismissing me yet.
I sat on the highest seat on the medal bleachers out side, my head leaned back against the medal gate as the wind blew softly threw my hair with my eyes closed.
I didn't want to come back to the field where Alex's accident had happened but I needed a quiet place where no body would interrupt me. I had been sitting out here for possible hours all the way threw lunch period and threw 6th and 7th periods of class. I couldn't bring myself to get up, not yet at least.
Today wasn't a good one, Most of what happened I couldn't believe was actually reality but it was. My mom having a need for alcohol to drown the pain out, Me not able to control my anger in time to not strike the ball at Alex which could've cause brain damage for him, and then the sudden jealousness of Nai fighting with me over Alex.
What was my life coming to? I didn't know how many times I had asked myself that today and I couldn't believe it had taken me this long to realize this.
I shook my head reaching in my pocket and pulled out my phone to look at the time only to see that school had just dismissed a minute ago.
I literally skipped half the day off school. Unbelievable.
Sighing I got to my feet and walked down the bleachers and back into the school building quickly walking threw the empty gym and threw the double doors following the remaining students down the hall until I reached the nurse's office and went inside.
Mrs. Wellens Sat at her computer desk and looked over to me once I entered. " Can I help you?"
I looked over to her just now noticing she was sitting there. "I'm looking for Alex."
"Alex who?" She inquired.
'Thorne." I relied.
She nodded and pointed to the third white curtain. "He's in there."
I took a step forward but then stopped and turned back towards her. " How bad is he?"
She sort of gave me a flat smile that immediately went into a thin line." All I can say is whoever hit him with that soccer ball sure did hurt him pretty badly. Poor kid." she went back to typing at her computer before her phone rang and she picked it up to answer.
And I slowly turned back to looking strait ahead feeling anxiety wash over me like a wave. " Yeah. . ." I said silently knowing full well that it was me who had done it.
I continued my way threw the wall of curtains remembering what she said about the third one and I stopped in front of it. Reaching a slow hand up not yet touching the fabric just yet.
I collected myself before grabbing onto them and slid them away to see Alex turn to me and I saw his nose and flinched backwards at the sight of the bloody gauze covering it.
The breath escaped me and I shook my head slowly in disbelief as I stared at him wide eyed before turning away and walking away quickly.
"Gareki?" he called after me and I stopped with a hand covering my mouth wandering why had I even wanted to stop in the first place to see the stupid mistake I had done to my own boyfriend.
I looked up to see that Mrs. Wellens had left the room. As to where she had gone, I had no idea but maybe it was an important call.
I heard foot steps behind me knowing full well they were Alex's.
"Gareki?" he sounded close, right behind me actually.
I didn't turn to look at him I just kept the hand over my mouth closing my eyes tightly to get rid of the memories from what I had done to him earlier that had caused this.
"look at me." he continued quietly.
I stayed facing forward.
"Please." he insisted.
Very slowly I faced him, opening my eyes and dropped the hand away from my lips.
I was brought faced to faced with his covered nose and now I could see the small gash in his bottom lip, it had been cleaned but was still red.
My eyebrows furrowed and I looked down." I'm sorry."
" It's not as bad as it looks Gareki, trust me- "
"It's broken, isn't it?" I interrupted.
He paused staring at me before sucking in his bottom lip and answered quietly." yeah. . .it is."
I swallowed hard and clenched my fists. " I can't believe I did that."
Alex stayed quiet for a few seconds before asking." What happened to you out there?"
" I was over whelmed with everything that had happened to me for the past month and a half and I couldn't handle the anger any more so I took it out on the ball and it turns out you were in it's line of aim. I'm really sorry about this."
He shrugged with a smile coming to his face. I've been threw worse things then this. Not a big deal."
I looked at him as if he were nuts." Are you kidding ! I hit you with a soccer ball that could have snapped your neck and you're saying it's ' no big deal ' like hell it is!"
"It doesn't hurt, I've literally been threw more painful things then this. They put me on pain killers and I'm going to need surgery of course but nothing compares to this as it did when I was a kid with my sister."
I was going to say something else but shut my mouth remembering him telling me of the tortures he went threw with his sister and the people who had kidnapped them at such a young age and now I understood what he meant by worse things then this.
I nodded slowly and decided to drop the subject." Do you have everything here?"
"Yeah. They had to send my stuff down."
I nodded. knowing full well that I couldn't go home after school, not yet since he needed medical help. I sighed. lets go to your house and tell your parents about this rather it doesn't hurt or not I don't care, you're getting that nose fixed.
He smiled at me." Protective much?"
I rolled my eyes and grabbed his back pack," Shut up, you're my boyfriend I'm supposed to worry about you."
I decided not to tell him what Nai had said today until later on when things weren't based on getting him to a doctor. Seemed to me we'd be skipping practice today which was fine, I didn't want to see Nai's face at the moment I was still heated about earlier.
