Punk decided that sitting around in his brothers house all day was as useless as it was possibly going to get. He couldn't stand the thought of his children being up and lively with AJ, whilst he was stuck here. So he showered and put on some fresh clothes that Sean had gave him a borrow of, and he headed on over to the house, regardless of AJ's words. He was here to see his children, who he hadn't got to watch grow, at all really. He'd only been with them for a month before he was taken. And in that month, it was really only Harleen he got to bond with since Caleb was in hospital.
He waited at the door for a few minutes for AJ to answer. He would have walked straight in, since it was his house, but he thought it was best to respect AJ and the life she had gotten used to living without him.
"Hi." AJ said, having expected it to be him.
"Mind if I come in? We don't have to talk or anything. I just want to see the kids." He told her. He was here for the twins. Not anything else.
"They're in the living room." She widened the door to let him in as he wiped his feet on the welcome mat, walking on in and pausing as he seen them both sitting on the floor in front of the tv. Not too near as it was bound to hurt their little eyes, but close enough to watch the colour and movement shown on the television.
They were both beautiful. Harleen looked just like April besides her eyes. She looked very defiant, even at such a young age, as if she ran the house. It made him smile. Caleb looked just as mischievous. Crooked little smile edging on his face as he reached for the toys he and his sister were playing with, oblivious to him standing watching them. They were too young to know what a dad even was. Which he supposed was a good thing. It would have been worse if he showed up four or five years later, where they had grown to know that all they had was their mother. He was glad he still had time to be their father.
"You can go in further. They won't bite." She said, "In fact, they might actually… they have just started teething." She explained to him as he walked into the room whilst she shut the living room door over behind her.
He was surprised she was acting so calm. It almost annoyed him. How could she just pretend like it was so easy for her to part ways with him. He knew she was crying on the inside. She was just trying to be a good mother. But being a good mother didn't mean she had to leave him, because she felt their children were unsafe. The only reason he lived and breathed these days, was to protect his children, and her. Why couldn't she see that?
"Do they talk?" He asked bluntly, taking a slow seat on the couch, keeping his eyes on the twins and nothing else.
"Well not full sentences, Phil. They aren't going to ask how your trip was." She said, "They know words like mommy. Recently they've been using up a lot, if they want me to lift them." She smiled whilst standing with her arms folded.
"Do you think they'll remember me?" He asked.
"I don't think so." She shook her head, "They don't remember what they had for dinner last night." She said, being brutally honest with him, "I don't want you to be a stranger to them. I want you to be their father. I do." She told him sincerely.
She really did want him in the twins lives. She just didn't want him in her life, not the way he used to be anyway. It was nothing against him. If she had it her way, and if they didn't have so much to lose, she would have jumped right into his arms last night. But she couldn't be a part of his violent world anymore. And neither could their twins.
"Then why are you acting like I can't look after them and protect them?" He asked her, "Let me take care of you again, April. All of you. You… you're my only family besides my brother." He said, "What would I have to do for you to let me back in?"
"Nothing." She shook her head, "I don't need you to do anything. Unless you have a time machine where you could erase this past year for me." She said, "I don't think you quite understand yet, how bad it was." She said.
"Of course I understand." He said, "I was feeling exactly the same whilst stranded alone in a different country." He said.
"You knew I was alive and well though. You knew I was safe, and the twins were safe. I thought you were dead. I sat up night after night, having to absorb the fact that I was never, ever going to see you again." She said, "You don't know how it felt. No one will."
"We can fix it." He said, "I can reduce my shifts at the station. I can be here more. I promise we can fix what we've broken this past year."
"Me you mean?" She asked, "The only thing that broke this year. Was me." She told him, looking on as he ran his hands through his hair, "Keep an eye on them whilst I put on the kettle." She said, "Do you want anything?" She politely asked as he just shook his head and let her go on through to the kitchen.
She still couldn't believe he was actually here sometimes. It was like a dream come true, only… it had made her realise that she had decisions to make, and those decisions had to benefit her children, and their childhood surroundings. She knew Punk could protect them. He'd give his life up for his children. She knew that. But Punk was just one man, who had made thousands of enemies over the year, including a full Albanian gang. She couldn't have her babies in danger, and the only way to keep them out of danger, was to part ways from Punk.
"Hey guys." Punk spoke softly as Caleb turned his head to look at him, Harleen never budged and continued to play with her toys.
He lowered himself on the ground with them, crossing his legs and playing with a few building blocks, "I'm so sorry I wasn't here." He sighed, "You two have grown so much on me." He said. He couldn't believe how much they had grown, "I see mommy has done a really good job of protecting you while I was gone, huh?" He said as Harleen now turned her head, looking at him whilst Caleb crawled his way over to him.
He wasn't sure what to do. His natural instincts were to lift him up and place him in the basket of his legs, which he did, pressing a kiss on his head whilst Harleen carried on playing with her toys. He was glad they were unaware of their parents tension. He could only hope that he could persuade AJ back into his arms, so that the twins could grow up in a happy environment, with paired parents.
"I won't miss another moment." He told them, "I promise. Mommy thinks you guys are in danger, but I promise you, I'll be six foot under before anyone lays a finger on you both. And your mother." He said, "I don't know what I gotta do to get your mom back with me, because believe me, we were happy… when you both came, and you were both home, we were really happy, and I know she can be happy again. I promise you guys I'm gonna do everything I can to make it right." He said, tickling under Harleen's chin as she giggled, making his stomach do butterflies. She was beautiful.
"Daddy has you now." He said, pressing another kiss on Caleb's head as the one year old sat comfortably in the basket of his legs, looking on at the TV where a young children's programme was on, fascinating them both as they played with their many wonderful toys. They meant the world. He wasn't missing anymore of their lives.
Once he spent endless time on the floor with the twins, he figured he'd go and let AJ get on with her day. She clearly didn't want him around, but he did see her every now and then stick her head in from the kitchen, smiling as he sang and played with the twins. She'd never seen him so happy, and the twins had taken a quick fond of him, which she was glad of.
"Sean said you've been doing some charity work. Why don't you teach anymore?" He asked curiously. He knew she loved teaching the second grade.
"I couldn't find any reason to do it anymore. I was so down all the time. I tried to go back, but I just couldn't." She said, "So I looked for alternatives, and I began doing some charity work. I joined in on hosting local fund-raisers and stuff like that." She said.
"That was good of you." He said as she walked him to the front door. The twins were getting tired, and she'd let him know that they did have a nap round about afternoon time every day. They were still babies really, and if they didn't have their nap they just got cranky and whiny.
"I enjoyed doing it." She said, "Made me appreciate life a lot more. Especially when I thought about giving up so much in the past year." She said.
"Well I'm glad you didn't give up." He turned around to face her before she reached the front door, "Is this what you really want?" He asked her one last time.
"It's not what I want, Phil. It's just what's best. What I want is you. It's always been you." She said truthfully, "But I have to think of the twins now. I have to think of myself. I… I don't want to feel pain like I felt this year ever again." She told him.
"You won't have to." He said, "I promise you I'm not going anywhere. I'm here now. Let me take care of my family again." He begged as she shook her head.
"Just respect my decision." She asked of him, "We can work something out. It doesn't have to be all that bad."
"Well I don't see how it could be good." He said, "I want to be with you."
"I want to be with you too but..."
"Then what's the problem, April?" He asked her frustratedly.
"Don't make me go over it again." She asked with exhaustion, "I'm sorry, Phil. It's just the way it's going to be now. This year… this year has just wrecked us. It's wrecked me. I can't just forget it never happened." She said, "I'm sorry."
Punk just shook his head, "No, I'm sorry." He said, "I'm sorry for putting you through so much these past years." He said, "I guess there was a reason I never really bothered with girls." He said as she frowned.
She hated this. She really did love him, more than anything in the world. But she had to let him go. She just had to.
"I'll see you around." AJ opened the front door as a gust of wind blew in.
"Yeah." Punk nodded walking out of the house, "See you around."
